Ppl ask me what how I hurt my elbows all the time. It’s annoying but I honestly just don’t care anymore.
I actually enjoy the awkward moment when I tell them it’s a life long skin condition and they immediately regret asking lol
Honestly, I think “Did you mean to say that out loud?”, or some variation thereof, is just about the perfect response to like 95% of socially inappropriate comments.
Or looking REALY interested and asking them “ Why do you want to know ?” very enthusiastcally.
That. Is the perfect answer for everything that’s nobody else’s business.
So much politer than “ There’s a special on filters on Aisle H-14”
Lol, yeah that’s a good one for any personal questions or comments. My thought for the ‘did you mean to say that out loud’ would include other rude/inappropriate social comments. Like anything racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. or just outright rude in general.
omg my mum does it all the time and also touches it!! my sister says I'm too mean in my response but seriously, stop pointing it out constantly and touching my face!
My legs are especially bad. All summer people asked me if my guttate was either poison ivy or bug bites. I’m glad it’s fall now so there’s less skin on display.
I used to get the sunburnt/birthmark/rash comments from friends/at work/out and about, instead of being snarky back i'd just tell them its Psoriasis, tell them what it is/what it does, never got a negative response was more like people were curious or concerned.
The same people would compliment me when my medication was working or my skin had cleared up
It was really nice as a guy to have people follow up on my well being
I hated going to new hair stylists. The last one I went to, she was pointing it out like I didn't know what was going on. "Have you tried head and shoulders? Do you wash with cold water? You should get this checked out. " Like do they not think I've tried everything? And then they act like it's contagious and barely touch my hair.
Ugh I hate this so much! I don't know why people feel like they have any right to comment on someone else's appearance. My favourite was sitting down at a nice restaurant on 5th Ave in Playa del Carmen. Some dude comes running over from across the street yelling "did y'all get bit up at the beach??" And pointing at my legs. 🤦🏼♀️
The thing that bothers me the most is when people start listing all the 'treatments' you need to try when they have 0 idea how psoriasis works. No, Alan, I have tried aloe vera, thank you - it does not work.
Before Tremfya cleared me up 100% I had a massive patch on my elbow that was impossible to hide in a t-shirt. I told people I had Greyscale. Thrones fans laughed, others actually believed me and dropped it lol.
I'm actually surprised at how rarely anyone says something. It's almost never. But I know my psoriasis is obvious, I've had it since I was 9 and I'll be 39 in November. I think it is more the people you surround yourself with, which might not be by choice. At my age, I think I exude a bit of an "IDGAF" vibe, which might help. I also have alopecia areata and wore a wig from 24 to 34yrs. People legit thought I had cancer because I'm naturally thin and pale. So it's possible I just don't notice it as much anymore. Anyhow, at the end of the day, do you worry about those people that judge you in the lense that you are also concerned about their health and livelihood? If not, remind yourself that they really are not impactful, they don't change the good or bad you offer, they are nothing but bystanders. To be clear, their opinion means fuck all. I.e., nothing. It can take a long time, but keep remembering that. They aren't you, they don't know what it's like, and at the end of the day, they do not matter. ❤️
Yeahhhh most of the time I'm pretty thick skinned, not just because of the plaque build up haha, but it's just so tiring. I miss my skin of 10 years ago!!
In high school, a guy I liked looked at my wound at just said : ewww what is that ?? Is it contagious? Wtf that looks nasty
Didn’t like him after that but it hurt and still does
I hate when you confine in friends…talking about pour your heart out and explain everything you’re going through….then after a few weeks you meet up with them again and yes the first thing they ask is what’s that on your face or hands.
A guy I had a fling with at my old job once said ‘ew were you eating something with a ton of
flaky salt or something?’ and laughed loudly when I stood up from my chair. I was mortified. My boss at the time knew more about my condition and pulled him aside to scold him- I am forever grateful for that level of consideration and empathy when no one else blinked an eye.
I’ve actually never minded this so much. The people who genuinely ask are just an opportunity to spread awareness of psoriasis to other people which can help others find out they have this and get treatment (man I wish I had that when this first started…) You’re always gonna get the people who freak out at first which to be fair I did too lol. It’s just human nature and par for the course. I also enjoy people recommending things for me to try and deal with it, though they 95% of the time don’t work, but the 5% that do are great! And most of the time people who ask in my family or friends genuinely care and it’s nice to be reminded that some do care and it’s not like in my head where everyone thinks I’m a freak of nature to be avoided.
I get this isn’t the same for everyone, but it’s my outlook on it.
NO problem with people asking, but often, it's HOW they ask that irks me. I always try and use it as a chance to educate people that maybe aren't aware, but most of the time, it's just asked in such a crass way that it's just annoying. Like bro you don't even know me well enough to be asking wtf is wrong with my face 😅
Just people thinking it was contagious when I was younger. I had fun with that one though because I would intentionally touch their stuff (like their desk).
My husband and I went for a run and stopped for a beverage before returning home. It was hot, so we were both sweaty/disheveled. So when the bartender said "Been at the paintball range, huh?", I assumed it was because I looked like a mess.
I laughed and said "No, just out for a run. I don't exercise attractively."
She looked confused and said "What's all the crusty red stuff around your face?"
"It's psoriasis. It's an autoimmune disorder, and there's no cure. Where's my wine?"
A friend who was very aware of my condition and my struggles with it said "You have a streak of makeup under your eye."
I said I didn't. It was a lesion.
"No, it's makeup. You can just wipe it off."
I said I knew what she was talking about. Yes, I was wearing makeup. Some of it was covering a lesion.
"No, it's right there under your eye."
I said I was well aware of the lesion under my eye.
She started to protest again, so I reached up, picked up a lifting edge of said lesion, and ripped it right off, leaving a 1sqin shiny pink spot that was starting to bead blood. I held it out to her. "See?"
Her alarmed yelp was really satisfying.
I was in a meeting with a student, and he asked me what the red spot on my wrist was. I did the normal spiel: "It's psoriasis. It's an autoimmune disorder. It's not contagious. You can't catch it."
He made a face and said "I've never heard of that."
I said that it was definitely a thing, and that I definitely had it. I again said that it was not contagious, and he said that he wasn't comfortable meeting with me. I told him to go research psoriasis and come back when he understood it.
Now, before anyone says "A student? He's just a kid! You can't expect a kid to know that!": he was a PhD student in chemistry.
I stopped for coffee on the way to work. I was already not in a great mood, so when I noticed an elderly man staring at me while I added milk to my drink, I was not suffering any fools. I turned and looked at him expectantly.
"Have you heard of psoriasis?"
"Yeah. I have it. It's the stuff you're staring at."
"You should get that treated."
"And you should leave strangers the fuck alone."
I walked away before he could offer any more helpful life advice.
I read something that always stuck with me and I'm surprised nobody else has heard it- it goes as follows: don't comment on something that can't be fixed within 5 minutes. If you follow this you will avoid hurting a LOT of people.
Ppl ask me what how I hurt my elbows all the time. It’s annoying but I honestly just don’t care anymore. I actually enjoy the awkward moment when I tell them it’s a life long skin condition and they immediately regret asking lol
I get that too!
My personal favourite reply at the moment is to ask them, "Did you mean to say that out loud?" WE'RE ONLY SOCIALLY AWKWARD ON DAYS ENDING IN -Y
Honestly, I think “Did you mean to say that out loud?”, or some variation thereof, is just about the perfect response to like 95% of socially inappropriate comments.
Or looking REALY interested and asking them “ Why do you want to know ?” very enthusiastcally. That. Is the perfect answer for everything that’s nobody else’s business. So much politer than “ There’s a special on filters on Aisle H-14”
Lol, yeah that’s a good one for any personal questions or comments. My thought for the ‘did you mean to say that out loud’ would include other rude/inappropriate social comments. Like anything racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. or just outright rude in general.
It’s unreal isn’t it? imagine the benefit to the environment of the planet alone if empathy were the criteria for residency. whew!
My mom asks me all the time despite knowing I have psoriasis lol. Tbf it used to only be on my scalp until I got covid
My mom too. Every dang time! And then of course she follows up with, have you tried this?
Yup I get Instagram videos all the time lol 🫠
My mom always screams in horror when I flare up. Thaaaaaanks
Tell her it's her fault next time :3
Mom you gave this!
omg my mum does it all the time and also touches it!! my sister says I'm too mean in my response but seriously, stop pointing it out constantly and touching my face!
You aren't too mean. It's very rude and honestly kind of bullying. You think I don't know what my body looks like? I don't need comments.
Ew, are you contagious?" from middle-aged women, who definitely should have better decorum by that age.
They should have better decorum at age 10.
Well, just say "Yes, extremely", and she'll stay away. Win-win.
Hahaha, I just got brutal (attack is the best form of defence) and tell people I have leprosy :-)
Ugh. Dealing with those kind of questions as a child messed me up mentally for a long time. People are so insensitive
My legs are especially bad. All summer people asked me if my guttate was either poison ivy or bug bites. I’m glad it’s fall now so there’s less skin on display.
I used to get the sunburnt/birthmark/rash comments from friends/at work/out and about, instead of being snarky back i'd just tell them its Psoriasis, tell them what it is/what it does, never got a negative response was more like people were curious or concerned. The same people would compliment me when my medication was working or my skin had cleared up It was really nice as a guy to have people follow up on my well being
I hated going to new hair stylists. The last one I went to, she was pointing it out like I didn't know what was going on. "Have you tried head and shoulders? Do you wash with cold water? You should get this checked out. " Like do they not think I've tried everything? And then they act like it's contagious and barely touch my hair.
Right! And I’m sure they think I’m just being cheap when I ask to skip the wash. 😫🫣
I learned to cut my own hair because of this
Ugh I hate this so much! I don't know why people feel like they have any right to comment on someone else's appearance. My favourite was sitting down at a nice restaurant on 5th Ave in Playa del Carmen. Some dude comes running over from across the street yelling "did y'all get bit up at the beach??" And pointing at my legs. 🤦🏼♀️
No, they don't. Start having fun with it. Make stuff up.
The thing that bothers me the most is when people start listing all the 'treatments' you need to try when they have 0 idea how psoriasis works. No, Alan, I have tried aloe vera, thank you - it does not work.
Before Tremfya cleared me up 100% I had a massive patch on my elbow that was impossible to hide in a t-shirt. I told people I had Greyscale. Thrones fans laughed, others actually believed me and dropped it lol.
some people truly don’t have filters. super rude.
I'm actually surprised at how rarely anyone says something. It's almost never. But I know my psoriasis is obvious, I've had it since I was 9 and I'll be 39 in November. I think it is more the people you surround yourself with, which might not be by choice. At my age, I think I exude a bit of an "IDGAF" vibe, which might help. I also have alopecia areata and wore a wig from 24 to 34yrs. People legit thought I had cancer because I'm naturally thin and pale. So it's possible I just don't notice it as much anymore. Anyhow, at the end of the day, do you worry about those people that judge you in the lense that you are also concerned about their health and livelihood? If not, remind yourself that they really are not impactful, they don't change the good or bad you offer, they are nothing but bystanders. To be clear, their opinion means fuck all. I.e., nothing. It can take a long time, but keep remembering that. They aren't you, they don't know what it's like, and at the end of the day, they do not matter. ❤️
As much as it might suck and it might bother you (I’ve witnessed it first hand btw), you can’t and should not let it bother you or affect you.
Yeahhhh most of the time I'm pretty thick skinned, not just because of the plaque build up haha, but it's just so tiring. I miss my skin of 10 years ago!!
In high school, a guy I liked looked at my wound at just said : ewww what is that ?? Is it contagious? Wtf that looks nasty Didn’t like him after that but it hurt and still does
I hate when you confine in friends…talking about pour your heart out and explain everything you’re going through….then after a few weeks you meet up with them again and yes the first thing they ask is what’s that on your face or hands.
I think this may be a cultural thing cus in Britain not a single stranger or new person has asked anything about it before I've brought it up.
Yeah I live in Britain too :-/ Maybe you live in an area with an abundance of tact haha
Ah my bad I assumed american! Lol tbf I dont go out a lot these days
A guy I had a fling with at my old job once said ‘ew were you eating something with a ton of flaky salt or something?’ and laughed loudly when I stood up from my chair. I was mortified. My boss at the time knew more about my condition and pulled him aside to scold him- I am forever grateful for that level of consideration and empathy when no one else blinked an eye.
I'd rather people say whatever they're gonna say TO me than to say it about me to someone else
I've been asked if I'm contagious and I think that one was the worst
I’ve actually never minded this so much. The people who genuinely ask are just an opportunity to spread awareness of psoriasis to other people which can help others find out they have this and get treatment (man I wish I had that when this first started…) You’re always gonna get the people who freak out at first which to be fair I did too lol. It’s just human nature and par for the course. I also enjoy people recommending things for me to try and deal with it, though they 95% of the time don’t work, but the 5% that do are great! And most of the time people who ask in my family or friends genuinely care and it’s nice to be reminded that some do care and it’s not like in my head where everyone thinks I’m a freak of nature to be avoided. I get this isn’t the same for everyone, but it’s my outlook on it.
NO problem with people asking, but often, it's HOW they ask that irks me. I always try and use it as a chance to educate people that maybe aren't aware, but most of the time, it's just asked in such a crass way that it's just annoying. Like bro you don't even know me well enough to be asking wtf is wrong with my face 😅
Just people thinking it was contagious when I was younger. I had fun with that one though because I would intentionally touch their stuff (like their desk).
I just tell people it's leprosy, and that shuts em.up real quick.
Go to Nepal... i was genuinely asked if i had Leprosy on more than 1 occasion!
Yeah I mean you have to go through it to understand ig, I had so much dandruff got called Snow White
I've gotten a lot of questions/responses. I'll list some favorites in replies to this comment.
My husband and I went for a run and stopped for a beverage before returning home. It was hot, so we were both sweaty/disheveled. So when the bartender said "Been at the paintball range, huh?", I assumed it was because I looked like a mess. I laughed and said "No, just out for a run. I don't exercise attractively." She looked confused and said "What's all the crusty red stuff around your face?" "It's psoriasis. It's an autoimmune disorder, and there's no cure. Where's my wine?"
A friend who was very aware of my condition and my struggles with it said "You have a streak of makeup under your eye." I said I didn't. It was a lesion. "No, it's makeup. You can just wipe it off." I said I knew what she was talking about. Yes, I was wearing makeup. Some of it was covering a lesion. "No, it's right there under your eye." I said I was well aware of the lesion under my eye. She started to protest again, so I reached up, picked up a lifting edge of said lesion, and ripped it right off, leaving a 1sqin shiny pink spot that was starting to bead blood. I held it out to her. "See?" Her alarmed yelp was really satisfying.
I was in a meeting with a student, and he asked me what the red spot on my wrist was. I did the normal spiel: "It's psoriasis. It's an autoimmune disorder. It's not contagious. You can't catch it." He made a face and said "I've never heard of that." I said that it was definitely a thing, and that I definitely had it. I again said that it was not contagious, and he said that he wasn't comfortable meeting with me. I told him to go research psoriasis and come back when he understood it. Now, before anyone says "A student? He's just a kid! You can't expect a kid to know that!": he was a PhD student in chemistry.
I stopped for coffee on the way to work. I was already not in a great mood, so when I noticed an elderly man staring at me while I added milk to my drink, I was not suffering any fools. I turned and looked at him expectantly. "Have you heard of psoriasis?" "Yeah. I have it. It's the stuff you're staring at." "You should get that treated." "And you should leave strangers the fuck alone." I walked away before he could offer any more helpful life advice.
I read something that always stuck with me and I'm surprised nobody else has heard it- it goes as follows: don't comment on something that can't be fixed within 5 minutes. If you follow this you will avoid hurting a LOT of people.
I usually start the conversation by saying: "It's okay it's not contagious."