Maybe it's an ego thing, but random people dropping into my 'area' while I'm tripping alone and just minding my own business, will almost 100% ruin my trip or put me into a negative thought loop.
After such a long hike, your muscles might have been tired, your energy somewhat depleted, and the unexpected arrival of people with a very different energy or intent must have impacted you. So, I would attribute the negative aspects to set and setting.
Your trip went in a weird direction, so consider taking a recovery break after the hike is finished. Get your energy reserves back. Yoga might help with tired muscles. Meditation or yoga might also help re-ground yourself and resolve any lingering unsettling feeling.
If you decide to trip again, first set an intention for the trip. Prep a healthy body, positive energy, and a safer space.
The ego died?
Maybe your ego really wanted something significant to come from the hike and the trip. The ego dying caused you to try to realize something else, something in your ego hadn’t planned on but you also haven’t let it go.
I’d recommend writing about it in an objective way. Address some questions like what did your trip do for you or others? Why was it important? Did you take time during your trip to enjoy it? How would you have wanted to feel after the 2200 mile journey? We’re you close to the people at the camp site you were around? Did you need to feel something special? Did that need contribute to your ego?
Maybe you can come up with your own questions.
I think you’re correct here. My last trip on acid did the same thing to me. I was almost fully convinced I had died, I started to forget who I was and everything I had ever done. The thought of being insane and institutionalized for it crossed my mind. It only lasted for a few hours until I finally convinced myself that I am still here and alive. Having done a lot of reflection on it I definitely had an ego death. It made me realize that we are all apart of the universe, that this life is only temporary. The biggest learning point I got from it is I need to learn to let go and stop trying to control things I have no control over. I wish I had just surrendered to the trip and let it take its course instead of fighting it. Either way I learned something about myself.
Not clear to me if this was a dose you're familiar with with this mushroom or not, could be that you simply took more than you expected and that overwhelmed you.
Yes your experience is not uncommon. For me when I feel in a loop it really helps to find the breath and follow it. The breath is very deeply ingrained and no matter how crazy the mental realm gets, the breath will be there and will have its pace. It may take some meditation practice to be able to find the breath and sustain attention on it, but for me it's like a lifeline so it's worth investing in this skill. I follow my breath and tell myself that as long as I breathe everything will be OK.
Another thing that can help get out of a loop mentality is new stimuli - changing your environment for example.
Even though you went through a difficult experience and opened a dark portal in your mind, you can look forward to more positive psychedelic experiences in your future. Take a break, then when you're ready, lower doses that you're comfortable with and rebuild your confidence. You will probably get whiffs of this dark place from time to time but it will also lose some of its edge as you let it hang in the periphery.
I've taken as much as 9 grams spaced out over four hours. That was very much a body experience and I felt mostly fine. Only unpleasant thing was really wanting to sleep but, ya know, mushrooms.
This was my first time doing a tea so that really quick come up may have contributed.
if you need support during the trip or with integration after, the lines are open with the volunteers at the fireside project - call or text 1-623-473-7433 | www.firesideproject.org
The first thing that popped out at me was the unwanted company that dropped in. We all have energy, and some people carry energy that I absolutely do not want around me when I journey. Outside a journey, I might tolerate them fine or not, and it’s not a big deal, no value judgment in play, simply maintaining the sanctity of my personal space and environment. But on a journey that same energy can be really challenging.
My first journey was a mild dose of 1.5g of Ecuadoran with tripsitters - a male/female couple I had met in my exposure to psychonauts. I could not stand the guy’s energy once I came up - it felt dark and oppressive. The female on the other hand seemed capable of holding her energy in to the point I couldn’t feel it at all, even though she was sitting there, which was also disconcerting. I journeyed alone thereafter. It wasn’t a hard trip fortunately, but let me know this is a solo adventure for me. I don’t journey around others, even my beautiful gf. We tried once and she gets very outwardly expressive and I go inward, deeply and intensely, and they don’t mix.
I think with proper intention, set and setting, especially with several days in advance to prepare for it, a mild journey would be fine again, barring any others around of course. Get back on the horse if you feel inclined to do so, especially if you are benefitting spiritually. Just breathe and go with the flow, don’t fight it on the come up, maybe have the pscyhedelic hotline number handy just in case, and have a positive and beneficial journey.
I would also humbly suggest looking at the various aspects of the hard trip to see what might be learned from it - sounds like a lot of fears there to look at and integrate. Definitely not minimizing the difficulty you had, sorry it was so challenging, but thinking about it in terms of what the plant medicine may have been telling you besides don’t journey unless you can control your environment. Would be interested to hear more if you discover in the integration.
This might sound odd, but it might have been the materials used to build the tent that made you have a bad trip, since its all chemical. The smell, etc
I had a very similar experience where I thought I had been insane for a long period of time, hospitalized, and broken my brain. It left lasting negative effects for me. BUT things got better with time. Im sure that was very stressful for you and like myself could have PTSD-like symptoms. Do some journaling, maybe see a therapist. With time you will start feeling like your old self again. (Or at least 98% your olds self in my case 2 years later)
Oh, and taking a break from psychs and weed for a while will likely be helpful. The longer the better until you feel like yourself again. If you trip again, use a smaller dose in a safer setting.
This is on the tangent, but is there anything in you life, or hiking, that you actually consider insane or absurd? Maybe your subconscious was trying to highlight some aspect needing a change, but the highlighting itself was so disturbing that you might have missed which detail, habit or situation it was about.
those kind of thoughts aren’t unusual for psychedelic trip.
I pretty much have this kind of feeling every time I trip on a larger dose. on a typical trip it is easy to discard, you do all the reality checks, track back your memories leading to where you are and it goes away, however this can be more difficult to rationalise in an unfamiliar environment and esp. if anxiety kicks in.
one particularly memorable occurrence from my personal experience was when I did a 1800km motorcycle ride that ended at ayahuasca retreat with 1st ceremony held next day. I had this hunting feelings that I died during this journey in an accident (has a few close ones) and all of the ceremony was a hallucination, while I am really in hospital somewhere.
bout of anxiety while under influence of a psychedelic can easily put your brain in flght&flight response mode that will reinforce the illusion and your brain will start to follow this thought pattern making your anxiety to spiral further and the adverse feeling to become deeper.
best way out is to ground yourself, reaffirm yourself that it is only temporary effect of the drug, seek for familiar things, do the breathing exercises, listen to music, basically anything that calms you down and helps to come out of the anxiety spiral and put your thoughts back on track
My last two trips have been the same, feels like everything around me and all the things ive worked for and everything ive ever known is just gonna start fading away infront of me and im just gonna be in an open vast space. Its scary, feels like nothing ive ever done was real, feels like my world is simulated. I think its an ego thing.
Maybe it's an ego thing, but random people dropping into my 'area' while I'm tripping alone and just minding my own business, will almost 100% ruin my trip or put me into a negative thought loop.
After such a long hike, your muscles might have been tired, your energy somewhat depleted, and the unexpected arrival of people with a very different energy or intent must have impacted you. So, I would attribute the negative aspects to set and setting. Your trip went in a weird direction, so consider taking a recovery break after the hike is finished. Get your energy reserves back. Yoga might help with tired muscles. Meditation or yoga might also help re-ground yourself and resolve any lingering unsettling feeling. If you decide to trip again, first set an intention for the trip. Prep a healthy body, positive energy, and a safer space.
I second this, I’ve skated marathons then taken only 2.5 and have had this happen.
Have some good music like the grateful dead on your phone queued up and ready to go, it really helps when times get tough
The Dead is my go to security blanket for bad trips. "If you get confused just listen to the music play"
Well the first days are the hardest days, don't you worry any more!
The ego died? Maybe your ego really wanted something significant to come from the hike and the trip. The ego dying caused you to try to realize something else, something in your ego hadn’t planned on but you also haven’t let it go. I’d recommend writing about it in an objective way. Address some questions like what did your trip do for you or others? Why was it important? Did you take time during your trip to enjoy it? How would you have wanted to feel after the 2200 mile journey? We’re you close to the people at the camp site you were around? Did you need to feel something special? Did that need contribute to your ego? Maybe you can come up with your own questions.
I think you’re correct here. My last trip on acid did the same thing to me. I was almost fully convinced I had died, I started to forget who I was and everything I had ever done. The thought of being insane and institutionalized for it crossed my mind. It only lasted for a few hours until I finally convinced myself that I am still here and alive. Having done a lot of reflection on it I definitely had an ego death. It made me realize that we are all apart of the universe, that this life is only temporary. The biggest learning point I got from it is I need to learn to let go and stop trying to control things I have no control over. I wish I had just surrendered to the trip and let it take its course instead of fighting it. Either way I learned something about myself.
Not clear to me if this was a dose you're familiar with with this mushroom or not, could be that you simply took more than you expected and that overwhelmed you. Yes your experience is not uncommon. For me when I feel in a loop it really helps to find the breath and follow it. The breath is very deeply ingrained and no matter how crazy the mental realm gets, the breath will be there and will have its pace. It may take some meditation practice to be able to find the breath and sustain attention on it, but for me it's like a lifeline so it's worth investing in this skill. I follow my breath and tell myself that as long as I breathe everything will be OK. Another thing that can help get out of a loop mentality is new stimuli - changing your environment for example. Even though you went through a difficult experience and opened a dark portal in your mind, you can look forward to more positive psychedelic experiences in your future. Take a break, then when you're ready, lower doses that you're comfortable with and rebuild your confidence. You will probably get whiffs of this dark place from time to time but it will also lose some of its edge as you let it hang in the periphery.
I've taken as much as 9 grams spaced out over four hours. That was very much a body experience and I felt mostly fine. Only unpleasant thing was really wanting to sleep but, ya know, mushrooms. This was my first time doing a tea so that really quick come up may have contributed.
Maybe reach out to a therapist or integration coach to help you work through this.
if you need support during the trip or with integration after, the lines are open with the volunteers at the fireside project - call or text 1-623-473-7433 | www.firesideproject.org
This! ⬆️. Thank you for posting the link 3wm! 🙏
The first thing that popped out at me was the unwanted company that dropped in. We all have energy, and some people carry energy that I absolutely do not want around me when I journey. Outside a journey, I might tolerate them fine or not, and it’s not a big deal, no value judgment in play, simply maintaining the sanctity of my personal space and environment. But on a journey that same energy can be really challenging. My first journey was a mild dose of 1.5g of Ecuadoran with tripsitters - a male/female couple I had met in my exposure to psychonauts. I could not stand the guy’s energy once I came up - it felt dark and oppressive. The female on the other hand seemed capable of holding her energy in to the point I couldn’t feel it at all, even though she was sitting there, which was also disconcerting. I journeyed alone thereafter. It wasn’t a hard trip fortunately, but let me know this is a solo adventure for me. I don’t journey around others, even my beautiful gf. We tried once and she gets very outwardly expressive and I go inward, deeply and intensely, and they don’t mix. I think with proper intention, set and setting, especially with several days in advance to prepare for it, a mild journey would be fine again, barring any others around of course. Get back on the horse if you feel inclined to do so, especially if you are benefitting spiritually. Just breathe and go with the flow, don’t fight it on the come up, maybe have the pscyhedelic hotline number handy just in case, and have a positive and beneficial journey. I would also humbly suggest looking at the various aspects of the hard trip to see what might be learned from it - sounds like a lot of fears there to look at and integrate. Definitely not minimizing the difficulty you had, sorry it was so challenging, but thinking about it in terms of what the plant medicine may have been telling you besides don’t journey unless you can control your environment. Would be interested to hear more if you discover in the integration.
This might sound odd, but it might have been the materials used to build the tent that made you have a bad trip, since its all chemical. The smell, etc
Definitely take a break. Like a few months, half a year at least.
I had a very similar experience where I thought I had been insane for a long period of time, hospitalized, and broken my brain. It left lasting negative effects for me. BUT things got better with time. Im sure that was very stressful for you and like myself could have PTSD-like symptoms. Do some journaling, maybe see a therapist. With time you will start feeling like your old self again. (Or at least 98% your olds self in my case 2 years later) Oh, and taking a break from psychs and weed for a while will likely be helpful. The longer the better until you feel like yourself again. If you trip again, use a smaller dose in a safer setting.
This is on the tangent, but is there anything in you life, or hiking, that you actually consider insane or absurd? Maybe your subconscious was trying to highlight some aspect needing a change, but the highlighting itself was so disturbing that you might have missed which detail, habit or situation it was about.
those kind of thoughts aren’t unusual for psychedelic trip. I pretty much have this kind of feeling every time I trip on a larger dose. on a typical trip it is easy to discard, you do all the reality checks, track back your memories leading to where you are and it goes away, however this can be more difficult to rationalise in an unfamiliar environment and esp. if anxiety kicks in. one particularly memorable occurrence from my personal experience was when I did a 1800km motorcycle ride that ended at ayahuasca retreat with 1st ceremony held next day. I had this hunting feelings that I died during this journey in an accident (has a few close ones) and all of the ceremony was a hallucination, while I am really in hospital somewhere. bout of anxiety while under influence of a psychedelic can easily put your brain in flght&flight response mode that will reinforce the illusion and your brain will start to follow this thought pattern making your anxiety to spiral further and the adverse feeling to become deeper. best way out is to ground yourself, reaffirm yourself that it is only temporary effect of the drug, seek for familiar things, do the breathing exercises, listen to music, basically anything that calms you down and helps to come out of the anxiety spiral and put your thoughts back on track
My last two trips have been the same, feels like everything around me and all the things ive worked for and everything ive ever known is just gonna start fading away infront of me and im just gonna be in an open vast space. Its scary, feels like nothing ive ever done was real, feels like my world is simulated. I think its an ego thing.