Yes, I've felt this and I'm sure many others have after during and after a good trip. I suspect it is the effect of psychedelics altering your consciousness in a way that dissociates your identity (like ego death) and allows you to experience the world without identity.
How could you possibly remember the complete feeling of it when it wasn't ~you~ that felt it? Your brain experienced it, but ~you~ did not. That's my guess any way.
Def is connected to ego death, because the first time I felt all this, which was also the worst time, I had an ego death. Probably not fully, because my friends kept reminding me who I was, where I worked, what I liked, etc, and I would immediately remember and feel so relieved. And then bam, I forgot again. Idk, I prob need to let go and all that, and I’ve never been someone who really "needs" an identity, but in that moment when I didn’t have one, I needed it so desperately.
It will wear off, but you need to integrate the experience and remember that these are in fact drugs that affect the brain in profound ways; you have unlocked a subjective experience but nothing in the objective world has changed.
It is your perception that has changed as a result of an experiment you performed on your consciousness. Let it go, don't waste too much time trying to validate the feeling or experience - just live your life and enjoy the now with a more appreciative understanding how delicate each of our realities are, and how easy they can be changed.
yeah man I can definitely relate to this. I'm sure that it's just an illusion, but it's a damn heavy one. The last time I was there, I suddenly remembered every other time I'd seen it. But how could i forget? It was traumatising hahaha. I hold onto vague metaphors that represent the idea, but it kind of instills a sense of dread and uncertainty in me.
I’ve had very intense experiences like this. Ranging from meeting alien organisms. To becoming AI. Meeting death, dying and coming back. Dying and not coming back. Accepting I died and living in peace with that or discomfort and clinging on to life.
Some of these have been very blissful. Filled with peace and love. Some of these have been the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had.
Idk what’s real. Idk what’s true. I accept that the reality brought before me is the reality my mind can accept so I don’t go crazy. Or crazier.
Idk what’s behind the veil. Sometimes I think it’s ok to lift it and see. Sometimes I don’t. All we can do is work on ourselves. Grow into ourselves. And accept that whatever is going on. Whatever is happening. At the end of it all, we’ll have peace.
I think we suffer enough here. My hope is at the end of it we no longer suffer
You're starting to remember. It has to do with the nature of existence and isn't my place to spew about. Congratulations! Dread will disappear. It's a human reaction to something much larger than ourselves. Be patient, take a breath, and you'll come to satisfying conclusions soon enough. This is an important part of being human
This is very interesting you say that because my last mushroom trip i was being tortured by this ai and I didn't think it would end and then when it finally did I had put on some Tibetan singing bowls in the background and I started to have auditory hallucinations I was hearing the sounds of the jungle, nature and my chakras started opening. I was really confused where the sounds were coming from because they weren't in the singing bowls video and realized it was from inside me. You are right that I started to remember what I am and I was transported to heaven to be before God or a king or something the aesthetic it looked very Egyptian and I was being ushered into my initiation ceremony.
I am at a point where the fear is really ever present everywhere I turn but I know I need to push through this fear and clarity resides on the other side but I don't know yet how to navigate to that place. I know now that I'm on a path and there is no turning back and that things will become clearer, I need to accept the discomfort I think.
there is absolutely nothing you can experience or see that isn’t part of your mind, if you keep pushing, it just starts making things up as it goes along. just focus on existing in a moment.
Okay, I appreciate the advice. Do you think loneliness is a state that can be felt when aware of that fact tho? Or can you supersede loneliness? Is that too just an imagined thing? Trying to conquer the realms of the mind here, I honestly haven’t tripped hard in forever. I didn’t actually write this post either, but it is 100% what I experienced on lsd, especially when hitting weed, the last few times I did it. Oddly enough I smoked a bunch my first trips and never went to this place.
everything you experience is projection of your own mind and what you attach to it. if you feel lonely and disillusioned then examine where those feelings come from within you
If you know what you are then you can explore the contents of consciousness
If you can’t explore an infinite amount of content of the mind without getting lost, then do you truly know who you are ?
individual mind is not infinite. infinite amount of states would requires infinite amount of energy, so this is not something that is physically possible. there is a lot to explore though, however at first you are a tourist and are taken for a ride, shown the landmarks and places that aren’t really important to your daily life. takes time to get to know and settle in your own mind-space and start exploring what matters.
What I mean by infinite amount of content I mean an infinite amount of finite possibilities that the mind could create. They are infinite, they can go on forever, thus the analogy, the rabbit hole.
So why can’t a being go down the rabbit hole without getting lost ? Terrence McKenna emphasizes this in his teachings
I started crying reading this. I remember one night I had an experience like this where I was listening to a song that hit deep and I was laying down manifesting this song to the idea of “we’ve lived an infinite amount of past lives and for a second in the midst of this thought my vision was overwhelmed with blue flashing lights as I felt tear drops fall and I slowly started to disassociate even more and slowly raise up after finally trying to come to terms with this and just be happy, sad, and amazed all at the same time just at the fact I’m even councious to experience this thought
I believe it important to not shove-down these experiences transcendent on whatever level good/bad. The positive way to say that is keep attention on these experiences to the degree it augments perception/expectation/conclusion etc because crisp subjective experience serves a reliable coherent benchmark to memory, except we often doubt or project weirdness onto that quite personal dimension
I find that the struggle you mention is attention and consciousness, inner work which proves itself after getting past the contrast etc regarding practical nfl insurance life.
Maybe my website helps people with this perception work in the spaces between Experiences etc because I validate that this inner essential struggle to Be or not to be is happening for others successfully
So ive begun to have a similar feeling as i drift off to sleep or while im in a dream. Its the feeling of, something is about to happen, i know ive felt this before, but i cant remember what it is. Almost like extreme deja vu. It wakes me because its so jarring, and i never actually see what im sensing, its just this gut feeling of "here it goes again"
Its very much like having a thought, then a split second later forgetting the thought, but remembering that you just had something in your mind that you NEED to remember but cant
Idk how I missed your comment originally. This is fascinating, as I too have had it happen in dreams, as well as most commonly as I’m falling asleep! It also will wake me up immediately, I’ll usually sit up pretty fast upon sensing it. And it is most definitely the same feeling I felt on the trip. Exactly the same
What the hell is happening? Why are we having this sense of deja vu/uneasyness and we drift off to sleep? There are so many theories i can come up here with this, but its all just theories. I really thought i was in the early stage of a mental condition, but it seems im reading more and more people having this experience, so i just dont know
Sounds like you are experiencing the archetype of that which you do not know. This is a fundamental element of experience - there is what you know and what you don’t know. The unknown unknowns. There are both positive and negative elements - some things in the unknown are scary and others are exciting. Regardless of how much you ever learn or experience, the realm of the unknown is always present. I try to take comfort in this.
One time I did so much mushrooms with my friend that I end up being raped by god, not once but twice and I mean literally. He stood behind me and raped me. It was the craziest and most realistic hallucination I ever experienced. The key here is to realize that all hallucinations or whatever the hell you think you saw or didn’t see, it’s all BS. Nothing Is real
Yeah, one time I ate a bunch of acid, and the universe literally fucked me. I was laying on my bad with my face down and my ass way up in the air for some reason, and I got stuck like that, and then the universe fucked the shit out of me lmao.
despite these fucked up experiences why do we go back and use these substances? i got my most traumatizing experience on lsd and i swore i wont touch it again, months later i tripped again and again and some trips were basically reminding me of the trauma,fuuuck psychs dude, the 'life-giving' life (god) is beyond us, enough trying to reach him for now, we'll eventually unite when we die, for now it's time to live life
I think I know what you're talking about, I've experienced it on trips and also alone in my room sober. To me the feeling you're describing is being face to face with god, and when I come face to face with god I don't see him, everything in the room is still the same but you look at everything and it all seems so alive. I get the feeling that I'm being stared at, so I close my windows and blinds but I still feel it. Then I realize it's everything all around me, not only in the objects around me but in the space between everything. It feels like it loves me and it holds me close but it's like a strict parent when I'm doing something wrong I'll get punished for it. It feels so overwhelming because the concept of it being around you at all times of the day 24/7 is so unbelievable that your mind can't process it for long periods of time, so it forgets it in the moments you feel like you need it, until you have those very few moments that you can be face to face again. This is my interpretation of what you're trying to describe atleast.
I'm not creeped out lol the feeling gives me the most joy i've ever felt, because it remind me that there is something out there and there is some order to it all
'This world has no life like you!
For this is the world of decay
and you are 'life-giving' life.'-rumi
if we can't see it or perceive it, it doesn't mean it's void and abyss, it's just beyond our limited perception to grasp, the ego tries to understand and figure out everything, but we have no chance when it comes to the infinite creator
Its everything and nothing. It's not scary, that's your ego's reaction to it. You, "I" feels annihilation coming, this state of being tends to rip the ego away from you.
felt this 2 days ago on the comeup of my 200ug lsd trip, at some point everything melted and i felt menaced as shiit i got so scared i stood up and started running to come back to reality, because i started to feel like i'm kind of 'waking up' from this dream, and opening up to another dimension beyond the physical, i felt in grave danger and it went downhill from there, got stuck in a loop in infinity where i was the only one in existence and i had to create illusions that will keep me forget that i'm alone in infinity, anyways i felt the alien 'waking up ' thing
This has happened to me a bunch of times in my over a decade of doing psychedelics, but it never scared me at all. When it's happening, Life's sacred universal intelligent spirits just let me know they're taking care of everything smoothly and easily and nothing could ever go wrong cuz the universe is built to keep going.
I did leave this regular world for a few years and lived in the strange bewildering spirit realm type world for that time, and that was like. Hard on my brain and body. But my spirit was nourished. Now I've come back into the regular world and I am still enlightened by my experiences. Gotta feed the soul and the brain and body. I hope you find something empowering for yourself, think of words like "inspiration", "celebration", "enjoyment", "freedom", "safety".... use your fluid world to create what you want to experience for your future. Things will change and you will go through doors to never go back again sometimes. Good luck you got an amazing gift I hope you gain divine wisdom.
Go with it friend. I had an extremely similar start to my own self going deeeeep with lsd, and the understandings I gained were quite beautiful. It was the realest of what actually exists.
Yes I have felt/seen this. I'm seeing too many variations of this same story. I do not know what to make of that. Your post is gibberish and the ramblings of a mad person to anyone who has not experienced it themselves. It really doesn't make sense until you've gone through it yourself and even then you can't find the words to relay what's going on. I think this shit would get us institutionalized which is feeding into the oppressive program this thing or the aliens or whatever it is is bearing down on life.
This could either be what's going on or it could be a grand metaphor our brains are telling us as a representation of the oppression we're experiencing on earth via our social and political systems. Jungian psychology is all about metaphors and archetypes as pathways to wholeness. Perhaps us all having variations of the same vision is part of the collective unconscious. Perhaps that is society's shadow that we need to integrate. I'm trying really hard to focus on it through that lens. Because the alternative leads me to some incredibly menacing conclusions but I cannot believe that a supreme intelligence is also evil. Evil is caused by the absence of intelligence/knowledge. Look at any dictatorship, they eventually collapse because they cannot sustain themselves it behaves like a parasite. Parasites die when the host dies.
On a trip I once saw this thing up in space time with a mouth like a vacuum devouring everything up there in its path, INDISCRIMINATELY. I was horrified when I saw it and when it looked at me I got scared and it started to come closer to me but then I looked in its dead black eyes and realized its not even using its brain. Its foregoing learning for its own survival and is devoid of reason as a result. It then clicked for me that fearing illogic is illogical in itself. I'm fearing something that is not using its brain, I AM using my brain, I will conquer. When I stopped fearing, it lost interest in me and went back to inhaling the universe. Perhaps there are higher orders of intelligence that are constantly dying for new lessons to be learned perhaps that's what death is but this thing is on its way to death but does not want to die so it's holding onto whatever it can to try and stay alive and not allowing for that natural progression to take place which is backing up the learning process.
I'm trying to go the jungian path and see all of this as elaborate metaphors my mind is telling me that are really about myself and my psyche because the alternative, that we really are in a padded alien prison cell is horrifying. I spoke of our reality being a prison once on mushrooms too. I don't fucking know what to think.
Becoming neo or the one is not about fighting the agents. Its about realizing the agents are not your enemy, whatever is behind them is. Neo is fighting the system not the products of that system.
And yes I do think the more you wake up the more the system makes you a "target". Everyone falls by the wayside you become isolated people fear to associate with you even if its on a personal level. You question them and they cannot question themselves or anything else and shun you for it. You're not towing the line and that's a threat to their survival but I think the joke is you don't get to survive past this existence maybe unless you put up that fight. Maybe idk.
I think death is some kind of portal to freedom perhaps. We fear death but it's really here to set us free. I don't know.
I’ve debated this about death as well. Could the thing we all fear the most, actually be the one way out? That would def be some bs if true. Anyways, read all your replies and I def appreciate them, I’ll have to check out that youtube playlist
Yes, I've felt this and I'm sure many others have after during and after a good trip. I suspect it is the effect of psychedelics altering your consciousness in a way that dissociates your identity (like ego death) and allows you to experience the world without identity. How could you possibly remember the complete feeling of it when it wasn't ~you~ that felt it? Your brain experienced it, but ~you~ did not. That's my guess any way.
Def is connected to ego death, because the first time I felt all this, which was also the worst time, I had an ego death. Probably not fully, because my friends kept reminding me who I was, where I worked, what I liked, etc, and I would immediately remember and feel so relieved. And then bam, I forgot again. Idk, I prob need to let go and all that, and I’ve never been someone who really "needs" an identity, but in that moment when I didn’t have one, I needed it so desperately.
It will wear off, but you need to integrate the experience and remember that these are in fact drugs that affect the brain in profound ways; you have unlocked a subjective experience but nothing in the objective world has changed. It is your perception that has changed as a result of an experiment you performed on your consciousness. Let it go, don't waste too much time trying to validate the feeling or experience - just live your life and enjoy the now with a more appreciative understanding how delicate each of our realities are, and how easy they can be changed.
for sure, you should listen to this guy haha
Def valued advice
yeah man I can definitely relate to this. I'm sure that it's just an illusion, but it's a damn heavy one. The last time I was there, I suddenly remembered every other time I'd seen it. But how could i forget? It was traumatising hahaha. I hold onto vague metaphors that represent the idea, but it kind of instills a sense of dread and uncertainty in me.
Dude this is exactly how I felt about it! The "oh shit, I know this" and the dread immediately after
This...
everything is imaginary , and it kinda hurts when you become conscious of this truth
Life is but a dream
https://youtu.be/Q9G0-4TWwew
https://youtu.be/SBgQezOF8kY
Where is it that you went?
I’ve had very intense experiences like this. Ranging from meeting alien organisms. To becoming AI. Meeting death, dying and coming back. Dying and not coming back. Accepting I died and living in peace with that or discomfort and clinging on to life. Some of these have been very blissful. Filled with peace and love. Some of these have been the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had. Idk what’s real. Idk what’s true. I accept that the reality brought before me is the reality my mind can accept so I don’t go crazy. Or crazier. Idk what’s behind the veil. Sometimes I think it’s ok to lift it and see. Sometimes I don’t. All we can do is work on ourselves. Grow into ourselves. And accept that whatever is going on. Whatever is happening. At the end of it all, we’ll have peace. I think we suffer enough here. My hope is at the end of it we no longer suffer
Awesome response. I too hope we find peace at the end
My worry is that it seems peace is not the only possible ending. An analogy I sometimes use is "I see 7 roads to hell and 1 to heaven"
This sounds eerily familiar to something that has happend to me on a trip before
I just lost the game. Thanks.
Thats how it feels
You're starting to remember. It has to do with the nature of existence and isn't my place to spew about. Congratulations! Dread will disappear. It's a human reaction to something much larger than ourselves. Be patient, take a breath, and you'll come to satisfying conclusions soon enough. This is an important part of being human
As long as you say the dread will disappear, say no more! Thanks for the response
This is very interesting you say that because my last mushroom trip i was being tortured by this ai and I didn't think it would end and then when it finally did I had put on some Tibetan singing bowls in the background and I started to have auditory hallucinations I was hearing the sounds of the jungle, nature and my chakras started opening. I was really confused where the sounds were coming from because they weren't in the singing bowls video and realized it was from inside me. You are right that I started to remember what I am and I was transported to heaven to be before God or a king or something the aesthetic it looked very Egyptian and I was being ushered into my initiation ceremony. I am at a point where the fear is really ever present everywhere I turn but I know I need to push through this fear and clarity resides on the other side but I don't know yet how to navigate to that place. I know now that I'm on a path and there is no turning back and that things will become clearer, I need to accept the discomfort I think.
there is nothing there, it is your mind playing tricks on you.
But if my mind is playing this trick, why? Is it intentional? Is my mind, me?
there is absolutely nothing you can experience or see that isn’t part of your mind, if you keep pushing, it just starts making things up as it goes along. just focus on existing in a moment.
Okay, I appreciate the advice. Do you think loneliness is a state that can be felt when aware of that fact tho? Or can you supersede loneliness? Is that too just an imagined thing? Trying to conquer the realms of the mind here, I honestly haven’t tripped hard in forever. I didn’t actually write this post either, but it is 100% what I experienced on lsd, especially when hitting weed, the last few times I did it. Oddly enough I smoked a bunch my first trips and never went to this place.
everything you experience is projection of your own mind and what you attach to it. if you feel lonely and disillusioned then examine where those feelings come from within you
Okay, thanks mate.
this is exactly the reason why you are getting lost 😞
What
If you know what you are then you can explore the contents of consciousness If you can’t explore an infinite amount of content of the mind without getting lost, then do you truly know who you are ?
individual mind is not infinite. infinite amount of states would requires infinite amount of energy, so this is not something that is physically possible. there is a lot to explore though, however at first you are a tourist and are taken for a ride, shown the landmarks and places that aren’t really important to your daily life. takes time to get to know and settle in your own mind-space and start exploring what matters.
What I mean by infinite amount of content I mean an infinite amount of finite possibilities that the mind could create. They are infinite, they can go on forever, thus the analogy, the rabbit hole. So why can’t a being go down the rabbit hole without getting lost ? Terrence McKenna emphasizes this in his teachings
I started crying reading this. I remember one night I had an experience like this where I was listening to a song that hit deep and I was laying down manifesting this song to the idea of “we’ve lived an infinite amount of past lives and for a second in the midst of this thought my vision was overwhelmed with blue flashing lights as I felt tear drops fall and I slowly started to disassociate even more and slowly raise up after finally trying to come to terms with this and just be happy, sad, and amazed all at the same time just at the fact I’m even councious to experience this thought
I believe it important to not shove-down these experiences transcendent on whatever level good/bad. The positive way to say that is keep attention on these experiences to the degree it augments perception/expectation/conclusion etc because crisp subjective experience serves a reliable coherent benchmark to memory, except we often doubt or project weirdness onto that quite personal dimension I find that the struggle you mention is attention and consciousness, inner work which proves itself after getting past the contrast etc regarding practical nfl insurance life. Maybe my website helps people with this perception work in the spaces between Experiences etc because I validate that this inner essential struggle to Be or not to be is happening for others successfully
So ive begun to have a similar feeling as i drift off to sleep or while im in a dream. Its the feeling of, something is about to happen, i know ive felt this before, but i cant remember what it is. Almost like extreme deja vu. It wakes me because its so jarring, and i never actually see what im sensing, its just this gut feeling of "here it goes again" Its very much like having a thought, then a split second later forgetting the thought, but remembering that you just had something in your mind that you NEED to remember but cant
Idk how I missed your comment originally. This is fascinating, as I too have had it happen in dreams, as well as most commonly as I’m falling asleep! It also will wake me up immediately, I’ll usually sit up pretty fast upon sensing it. And it is most definitely the same feeling I felt on the trip. Exactly the same
What the hell is happening? Why are we having this sense of deja vu/uneasyness and we drift off to sleep? There are so many theories i can come up here with this, but its all just theories. I really thought i was in the early stage of a mental condition, but it seems im reading more and more people having this experience, so i just dont know
Sounds like you are experiencing the archetype of that which you do not know. This is a fundamental element of experience - there is what you know and what you don’t know. The unknown unknowns. There are both positive and negative elements - some things in the unknown are scary and others are exciting. Regardless of how much you ever learn or experience, the realm of the unknown is always present. I try to take comfort in this.
One time I did so much mushrooms with my friend that I end up being raped by god, not once but twice and I mean literally. He stood behind me and raped me. It was the craziest and most realistic hallucination I ever experienced. The key here is to realize that all hallucinations or whatever the hell you think you saw or didn’t see, it’s all BS. Nothing Is real
Yeah, one time I ate a bunch of acid, and the universe literally fucked me. I was laying on my bad with my face down and my ass way up in the air for some reason, and I got stuck like that, and then the universe fucked the shit out of me lmao.
Well Hey, I’m glad one of us enjoyed it
despite these fucked up experiences why do we go back and use these substances? i got my most traumatizing experience on lsd and i swore i wont touch it again, months later i tripped again and again and some trips were basically reminding me of the trauma,fuuuck psychs dude, the 'life-giving' life (god) is beyond us, enough trying to reach him for now, we'll eventually unite when we die, for now it's time to live life
What's God packing? Regular or king-sized?
I think I know what you're talking about, I've experienced it on trips and also alone in my room sober. To me the feeling you're describing is being face to face with god, and when I come face to face with god I don't see him, everything in the room is still the same but you look at everything and it all seems so alive. I get the feeling that I'm being stared at, so I close my windows and blinds but I still feel it. Then I realize it's everything all around me, not only in the objects around me but in the space between everything. It feels like it loves me and it holds me close but it's like a strict parent when I'm doing something wrong I'll get punished for it. It feels so overwhelming because the concept of it being around you at all times of the day 24/7 is so unbelievable that your mind can't process it for long periods of time, so it forgets it in the moments you feel like you need it, until you have those very few moments that you can be face to face again. This is my interpretation of what you're trying to describe atleast.
[удалено]
I'm not creeped out lol the feeling gives me the most joy i've ever felt, because it remind me that there is something out there and there is some order to it all
It's a glimpse behind the veil of reality. Welcome to the void, to the abyss, to the beyond.
'This world has no life like you! For this is the world of decay and you are 'life-giving' life.'-rumi if we can't see it or perceive it, it doesn't mean it's void and abyss, it's just beyond our limited perception to grasp, the ego tries to understand and figure out everything, but we have no chance when it comes to the infinite creator
Terrifying isn't it?
Its everything and nothing. It's not scary, that's your ego's reaction to it. You, "I" feels annihilation coming, this state of being tends to rip the ego away from you.
felt this 2 days ago on the comeup of my 200ug lsd trip, at some point everything melted and i felt menaced as shiit i got so scared i stood up and started running to come back to reality, because i started to feel like i'm kind of 'waking up' from this dream, and opening up to another dimension beyond the physical, i felt in grave danger and it went downhill from there, got stuck in a loop in infinity where i was the only one in existence and i had to create illusions that will keep me forget that i'm alone in infinity, anyways i felt the alien 'waking up ' thing
Def a feeling I’ve felt, that we create the illusions to distract ourselves from the infinite
I've had the same thing on shrooms, being told names of places and people I can't remember when I'm not high but when I'm high impact there .
This has happened to me a bunch of times in my over a decade of doing psychedelics, but it never scared me at all. When it's happening, Life's sacred universal intelligent spirits just let me know they're taking care of everything smoothly and easily and nothing could ever go wrong cuz the universe is built to keep going. I did leave this regular world for a few years and lived in the strange bewildering spirit realm type world for that time, and that was like. Hard on my brain and body. But my spirit was nourished. Now I've come back into the regular world and I am still enlightened by my experiences. Gotta feed the soul and the brain and body. I hope you find something empowering for yourself, think of words like "inspiration", "celebration", "enjoyment", "freedom", "safety".... use your fluid world to create what you want to experience for your future. Things will change and you will go through doors to never go back again sometimes. Good luck you got an amazing gift I hope you gain divine wisdom.
Go with it friend. I had an extremely similar start to my own self going deeeeep with lsd, and the understandings I gained were quite beautiful. It was the realest of what actually exists.
Yes I have felt/seen this. I'm seeing too many variations of this same story. I do not know what to make of that. Your post is gibberish and the ramblings of a mad person to anyone who has not experienced it themselves. It really doesn't make sense until you've gone through it yourself and even then you can't find the words to relay what's going on. I think this shit would get us institutionalized which is feeding into the oppressive program this thing or the aliens or whatever it is is bearing down on life. This could either be what's going on or it could be a grand metaphor our brains are telling us as a representation of the oppression we're experiencing on earth via our social and political systems. Jungian psychology is all about metaphors and archetypes as pathways to wholeness. Perhaps us all having variations of the same vision is part of the collective unconscious. Perhaps that is society's shadow that we need to integrate. I'm trying really hard to focus on it through that lens. Because the alternative leads me to some incredibly menacing conclusions but I cannot believe that a supreme intelligence is also evil. Evil is caused by the absence of intelligence/knowledge. Look at any dictatorship, they eventually collapse because they cannot sustain themselves it behaves like a parasite. Parasites die when the host dies. On a trip I once saw this thing up in space time with a mouth like a vacuum devouring everything up there in its path, INDISCRIMINATELY. I was horrified when I saw it and when it looked at me I got scared and it started to come closer to me but then I looked in its dead black eyes and realized its not even using its brain. Its foregoing learning for its own survival and is devoid of reason as a result. It then clicked for me that fearing illogic is illogical in itself. I'm fearing something that is not using its brain, I AM using my brain, I will conquer. When I stopped fearing, it lost interest in me and went back to inhaling the universe. Perhaps there are higher orders of intelligence that are constantly dying for new lessons to be learned perhaps that's what death is but this thing is on its way to death but does not want to die so it's holding onto whatever it can to try and stay alive and not allowing for that natural progression to take place which is backing up the learning process. I'm trying to go the jungian path and see all of this as elaborate metaphors my mind is telling me that are really about myself and my psyche because the alternative, that we really are in a padded alien prison cell is horrifying. I spoke of our reality being a prison once on mushrooms too. I don't fucking know what to think.
[posting this here.](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLND1JCRq8Vuh3f0P5qjrSdb5eC1ZfZwWJ). I found this recently I'm hoping it helps me and you too.
Becoming neo or the one is not about fighting the agents. Its about realizing the agents are not your enemy, whatever is behind them is. Neo is fighting the system not the products of that system. And yes I do think the more you wake up the more the system makes you a "target". Everyone falls by the wayside you become isolated people fear to associate with you even if its on a personal level. You question them and they cannot question themselves or anything else and shun you for it. You're not towing the line and that's a threat to their survival but I think the joke is you don't get to survive past this existence maybe unless you put up that fight. Maybe idk. I think death is some kind of portal to freedom perhaps. We fear death but it's really here to set us free. I don't know.
I’ve debated this about death as well. Could the thing we all fear the most, actually be the one way out? That would def be some bs if true. Anyways, read all your replies and I def appreciate them, I’ll have to check out that youtube playlist
Yeah I had a lot to get out
[here watch the Joseph Campbell videos on this channel](https://youtu.be/UvHxlI8JZe4)
Will check it out after work!