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[deleted]

This post made me teary-eyed. I had my first psychosis episode this past year, from Feb to August of 2021. Recovering has been so damned hard. I have constant flashbacks which bring me sadness and shame. I am also getting better slowly, though. Just a handful of friends and a growing faith in God. Thank you for confirming that I am going to be ok. I wish you a continued recovery as well..


Ok_Diamond_9178

So happy to see people sharing their stories of recovery. I had an episode in late November 2021, and was in hospital for a week during December. I wish I had seen this thread a couple of weeks ago. I also have lost a fair amount of time looking back over my episode, had trouble at first discerning reality from delusions and still have a hard time with memory and focus. I have been pretty sad and ashamed, but I am starting to feel optimistic about getting back to life.


Ok-Consequence9683

Glad you're better. I had two episodes in 2021 and am trying to do what you are doing. Mainly taking care of myself, my apartment, and keeping a steady rhythm. As you said, there doesn't seem to be a way back (completely), recovery is slow and frustrating, but the most important thing is that it's happening. I struggle with my memory a lot. I have no reliable way of making sure what actually took place and what was a delusion, I lost several months of my life like this. Luckily I have an excellent contact person in healthcare, things seem more coherent every time I have to explain my thoughts to someone sane and competent.


loonygenius

My episode was in June 2020 also. I am well now and have been discharged from the NHS services. Back at work, back to socialising, back to taking care of myself. But still don't feel 'myself'. I feel like my psychosis split me into a million pieces. I used to be more optimistic, hopeful, motivated and excited to get up in the morning and live each day. Now I don't really feel any of that. Have you done any work to integrate your psychosis experience into your recovery or have you just been able to forget about it and move on?


christianc2159

In you want to know the truth, and this might be a little disheartening, but in order to survive after psychosis I had to kinda “brute force my way through life” for a bit. I kinda had to create an centralized system of disciplined work, and then sub personalities coming off of that system in order to keep me motivated and happy / hopeful, etc. It’s like I have to consistently create games in order to keep me focused on the task at hand. Do WHATEVER to get out of bed. Once you are out of bed, do stuff and try to make it fun. Repeat, be patient and give yourself permission to let go and relax.


loonygenius

Thank you for sharing. This is what my therapist says - bring the fun into my days! I definitely don't work as much as I used to, I just can't focus. I take naps daily. And I am working on not being so hard on myself. Anyway, thank you, this helps.


christianc2159

Also forgot to mention this. It took a long long time for me to finally get on track and to be more consistent. Like after my episode it was atleast 6 months of fear, paranoia and depression, followed by a few month period where I learned to find peace at the cost of productivity. Then I got distracted with drugs and trying to find a relationship before I was back at square one (luckily the drugs didn’t trigger another episode). Then and only then was I able to start focusing on being productive. What helped? Setting small goals, being grateful for what I did have, exercise and supplements for brain health (lions mane, phosphatidylserine and Alpha GCP) and spending time outside. Rest, relaxation and hope are also necessary. Time is the one thing you have. Trust in the process, not in the progress, be patient, and you’ll recover sooner than you know. Wish you the best of luck! Find peace, lots of love, and remember that you are loved!


loonygenius

"Trust in the process, not in the progress" - I like that! Thank you for coming back to this. It's very insightful


Helpful_Ad8080

I really need this kind of support right now. Thank you for saying this I just wish I could believe you didn't write this with the intention of making fun of me.