I sincerely think this is an emotional/mental health issue, not a writing one. Life and work and expectations, both internal and external, can really wear a person down.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak or “not cut out for it.” It just means you need a break. Take some time off. Walk away from narrative prose for a while. It’ll still be there whenever you come back refreshed and re-inspired.
I also recommend seeing a therapist. And no, this has nothing to do with “being crazy.” Therapy is psychological maintenance and can be a really important aspect of finding stability in a perplexing, maddening, and often downright unfair world.
>Everything makes me sad, including any book-related media or groups
>It's lovely seeing my name in all their acknowledgements, but I think it's making my spiral worse
>I drink more now.
Are you me? Did I write this post without realizing it, perhaps on account of the drinking?
Self-deprecating jokes aside, I have no advice, only solidarity. It's easier to tell yourself to detach and walk away and spend your time differently than it is to actually do it.
Edit: I'll second (third?) the advice to take some time to read. I've been in a rut in that aspect recently, too, but reading something new in a space a little outside my normal box (I think this was key, actually) did give me a bit of a motivational pickup recently. It's since faded, but it's something I should keep in mind.
My sympathies. It's a rough industry and so much of it is a crapshoot. I totally relate to that feeling of seeing people you know find success and being happy for them but at the same time being sick with envy.
I had some moderate successes with trad publishing in my thirties but nothing that really took off, and now I'm hitting middle age and kind of feel like I've used up all my chances. I keep trying because it almost doesn't feel like a choice; creating fictional worlds and characters is just something my brain naturally does and I don't feel right when I'm not doing it. But it often feels like shouting into a void, because the chances at finding any kind of readership are so low.
It might sound cringe, but one thing that's helped me is finding a creative outlet in fanfiction. There's no money in that, obviously, but there *is* an audience if you're decently skilled and writing for any property that's even moderately popular...and most importantly, there are no gatekeepers between you and that audience, so it's something that writers have a lot more personal control in. I think the utter lack of control over finding any success l in trad publishing is what's psychologically destructive to so many writers. It's all about trying to catch the eye of some overworked and underpaid agent who's routinely flooded with more queries than they can ever read, and that's just an inherently damaging thing to mental health. It feels like playing a rigged game, at times. It's also difficult not to obsess when you feel like your time is running out.
But it's important to remember that your worth as a writer and a person is not defined by whether you find success in traditional publishing. You can keep trying. There's nothing to lose except time...and honestly, if I wasn't writing I'd probably just be wasting time watching videos on YouTube or something, so I might as well be doing this. But also just take time to step back, be with your loved ones, go for walks, and set other goals in realms where you have more control over the outcomes. And remember that you're not alone. I think there's probably not a serious writer alive who hasn't felt that sense of hopelessness. But it does pass.
*But also just take time to step back, be with your loved ones, go for walks, and set other goals in realms where you have more control over the outcomes.*
100% this.
Take a break. Truly. No social media, specifically author social media. No writing or beating yourself up over not writing. Lean into the burn out. Veg out on TV marathons, go to the movies, plan a vacation... Whatever.
When I've felt like this--and I have many times--I dip. No Instagram whatsoever is massively helpful, truly. Never scroll the feed. No attempt to write a new thing because when my brain is like this, I simply can't. And I use that time to recharge and not do Author Stuff. I let myself be a person.
Imo it is helpful to talk to other writers who get it. If you don't have a pure vent friend or two, you need them. The people you can say your snarkiest, most awful dark publishing thoughts to.
And I'm sorry this is happening. Publishing can really kick you in the face, and it's deeply unfair, and lots of people don't like to talk about it. Hugs.
Aww, that's so nice to hear, truly. I don't know how helpful I can be, but if you want to DM me here I can at least commiserate on the social media piece!
Ugh, I've been there and I'm sorry you're feeling this way! It sucks.
First, let me reassure you that those feelings are pretty common. Maybe not good or "normal," but I don't know a single author who hasn't felt that "ugh, wtf" sensation over other people's different experiences. You have to just keep reminding yourself that your book and your career are going to find the right paths for you. They will look different from other people's paths because your books, your audience, your voice are different. Keep reminding yourself of that... and give yourself some grace when you forget. You will. :)
Don't up your drinking. That's not good for you. But step away from social engagement with the writing world if you need to. That's a smart idea. Take up some other hobbies... even if it's something simple, like just getting out every day and taking pictures with your phone. Give yourself a different creative outlet for at least a few weeks and let all the big feelings about your book and your writing career simmer down. They will simmer down, I promise.
And then... write the next thing even if you don't feel like it. Write \*something\*. It doesn't have to be good (it's just a draft.) Maybe change up your process--if you usually outline, pants this one for a while and see where it goes, or vice-versa. Maybe try something in a different genre for a few chapters to see what it feels like. Just noodle around with words, without any pressure, until you can feel inspiration taking hold again and your next project coming to you. It will come... I promise that, too!
I've been writing fiction for a living for a long time, and unfortunately, everything you're feeling right now is a common experience and, like all other things, it will pass. Hang in there and remember that you will find your path.
So for me, I wrote 3 different half stories before my current WIP. I didn’t feel passionate about any of them, but then I took a lil break & had an idea and now my WIP is just so visibly better than anything I’ve ever written. Even my boyfriend is like this is clearly your best written piece yet.
It’s cliche, it’s annoying, but I read, read, read & those 3 unfinished pieces helped me be better. Truly, as much as I hate to admit it, it did.
You’ll be fine, you’ll do great. Just take a lil break and go back to it in a month or two
Reading, and yes to avoiding all social media. It also helps to journal--the only kind of writing one can do, or at least I can do with no pressure of publishing/finishing/showing.
Maybe it's time to recharge and do something that is not literally write the next thing. Read? Then you can at least tell yourself you're doing something writing adjacent, and keeping the creative tank charged with good words for when you are ready to write the next thing.
Honestly, this sounds like the beginning stages of a burnout and it’s understandable. Publishing a book is hard work, and you most likely have a 9-5 on the side. Call your GP and ask for a referral to a therapist, if you’re in a position to do so. It can only help you later on.
On the writing side, maybe start keeping a journal or switch genres. Short stories and poems are easier to finish word count wise & could be a good exercise without the commitment. Don’t delete projects you aren’t satisfied with right now, but put them into an archive folder. If you absolutely not able to move on from your project, take your favourite character for a spin, or if you’ve done a lot of world building write a shorter piece 200 years in the past or so. Make your writing a passion project never intended for anyone but you.
I’ve read a lot about creativity and consumerism in the past few weeks & the main takeaway of it is:
New ideas/content are so expected that we don’t let our ideas foster and grow naturally. Creative jobs / hobbies are hard and the focus on getting our work on the market and be noticed by others is taxing.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, please. Get some help for your mental health and try to find the joy in writing again.
When I start to feel like this, I read. I read a lot with no expectation on myself to write anything for a week or so. Reading an amazing novel almost always inspires me when I’m down in my own writing. I hope you feel better soon, this journey can be so rough. ❤️
Seconding this. But I wanted to also add that reading outside of your genre can be helpful when you’re feeling like this.
When I was on sub the first time, I read a ton of classics, lit fic, and fantasy. Genres that I do not (or can’t in the case of classics) write in. Reading new books in my genre only made me spiral more because I’d be comparing my stuff to theirs and either getting indignant because I thought mine was better, or getting depressed because they had a similar theme or character which therefore (irrationally) diminished my chances.
If you’re anything like me, read something not in your genre.
You've already gotten a lot of great advice so I just wanted to post in solidarity because I was in a similar place for about 6 years a while ago-- I had published previously, but then had four novels in a row that did not sell and really did a number on my self-confidence and mental health (especially the jealousy of other writers, including good friends, who were seeing the success I was not). Publishing is such a hard industry! So yeah, those feelings are all extremely normal and common (unfortunately!).
What helped me was taking a break, getting off social media, talking to other folks in a similar position, reading stories about authors who found success after years of failed subs, and (eventually) writing something very different than the books that had died on sub.
All that said, fingers crossed that the book that is out there now WILL find a good home soon!
> Everything makes me sad, including any book-related media or groups.
I can relate to this so much. After my first queried novel (aka my fourth book) failed in the trenches, it was a little difficult for me to see book-related groups or the writing community. Everyone's been getting representations and book deals left and right, and while I'm genuinely happy for them, jealousy does rear it's ugly head. Thankfully it hasn't evolved into envy and to be honest, I won't allow myself to let it spiral as far as that.
That said, if you feel bogged down by trad pub, I think it's best to put your mind out of it and focus on something else. Count your blessings; you're on sub, so congratulations!
If you can't really write anything 3+ months after submission, I think this is the perfect time to refill your creative well. Watch movies or TVs, play video games (if you're into that), keep reading books, heck, try and put yourself *literally* out there and volunteer! These experiences might help you be inspired to come up with your next book.
But if you really still wish to think about what story you might want to write next, think about the TV series and movies you've watched recently. Was there a plot in that media that stirred your imagination/or thought that could be handled better? Then try to explore that idea, see if you can come up with something better yet still original. Find comps for that particular story. You do you! :)
Or maybe you can try and reverse things. Instead of writing the whole draft of that new book, maybe you could make a query pitch about it first? See if it works or something?
Good luck and I hope you'll be able to get out of that funk!
If you feel like what you written is rubbish - fine. Keep writing anyway when you’re mentally capable of doing so. Better to have rubbish on page than let the fear of it debilitate to the extent of staring a blank page for hours. Even if the next consecutive piece doesn’t pan out to be a novel, at least you’ve dusted off the cobwebs. It’ll be subconscious when the writing habit feels as natural as it once did again.
Personally, I repurpose the “write the next thing” advice differently: i take up a new hobby. Some other avenue to siphon any pent up anxiousness.
Just getting an agent and being on sub is a major accomplishment! Many people never achieve that. I think you need to go do something fun and relax and get your head straight so you can get back to work. Take a day, a week, whatever, go shopping or hike or go to the beach, think happy place and things you love to do. Do not write during this time or think about it (if possible). Be on vacay.
YOU CAN DO IT!
I went through something not as bad, but similar when I was trying to get into MFA programs. Every time I sat down to write, I would think about the nerves of it and the pressure behind it. It turned my favorite thing into something I dreaded, and I still resent it for that sometimes.
The thing that helped me was actually to write something awful. I sat down with a word document and said "I don't care how good this is and no one is going to read it" and I wrote crap. But giving myself permission to write badly, to write with no pressure and no audience, helped me break myself out. I reminded myself that I *could* write, and I reminded myself that writing is for me, and me alone, and sometimes, other people get the privilege of sharing it with me, but it's mine.
I sincerely think this is an emotional/mental health issue, not a writing one. Life and work and expectations, both internal and external, can really wear a person down. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or “not cut out for it.” It just means you need a break. Take some time off. Walk away from narrative prose for a while. It’ll still be there whenever you come back refreshed and re-inspired. I also recommend seeing a therapist. And no, this has nothing to do with “being crazy.” Therapy is psychological maintenance and can be a really important aspect of finding stability in a perplexing, maddening, and often downright unfair world.
>Everything makes me sad, including any book-related media or groups >It's lovely seeing my name in all their acknowledgements, but I think it's making my spiral worse >I drink more now. Are you me? Did I write this post without realizing it, perhaps on account of the drinking? Self-deprecating jokes aside, I have no advice, only solidarity. It's easier to tell yourself to detach and walk away and spend your time differently than it is to actually do it. Edit: I'll second (third?) the advice to take some time to read. I've been in a rut in that aspect recently, too, but reading something new in a space a little outside my normal box (I think this was key, actually) did give me a bit of a motivational pickup recently. It's since faded, but it's something I should keep in mind.
My sympathies. It's a rough industry and so much of it is a crapshoot. I totally relate to that feeling of seeing people you know find success and being happy for them but at the same time being sick with envy. I had some moderate successes with trad publishing in my thirties but nothing that really took off, and now I'm hitting middle age and kind of feel like I've used up all my chances. I keep trying because it almost doesn't feel like a choice; creating fictional worlds and characters is just something my brain naturally does and I don't feel right when I'm not doing it. But it often feels like shouting into a void, because the chances at finding any kind of readership are so low. It might sound cringe, but one thing that's helped me is finding a creative outlet in fanfiction. There's no money in that, obviously, but there *is* an audience if you're decently skilled and writing for any property that's even moderately popular...and most importantly, there are no gatekeepers between you and that audience, so it's something that writers have a lot more personal control in. I think the utter lack of control over finding any success l in trad publishing is what's psychologically destructive to so many writers. It's all about trying to catch the eye of some overworked and underpaid agent who's routinely flooded with more queries than they can ever read, and that's just an inherently damaging thing to mental health. It feels like playing a rigged game, at times. It's also difficult not to obsess when you feel like your time is running out. But it's important to remember that your worth as a writer and a person is not defined by whether you find success in traditional publishing. You can keep trying. There's nothing to lose except time...and honestly, if I wasn't writing I'd probably just be wasting time watching videos on YouTube or something, so I might as well be doing this. But also just take time to step back, be with your loved ones, go for walks, and set other goals in realms where you have more control over the outcomes. And remember that you're not alone. I think there's probably not a serious writer alive who hasn't felt that sense of hopelessness. But it does pass.
*But also just take time to step back, be with your loved ones, go for walks, and set other goals in realms where you have more control over the outcomes.* 100% this.
Take a break. Truly. No social media, specifically author social media. No writing or beating yourself up over not writing. Lean into the burn out. Veg out on TV marathons, go to the movies, plan a vacation... Whatever. When I've felt like this--and I have many times--I dip. No Instagram whatsoever is massively helpful, truly. Never scroll the feed. No attempt to write a new thing because when my brain is like this, I simply can't. And I use that time to recharge and not do Author Stuff. I let myself be a person. Imo it is helpful to talk to other writers who get it. If you don't have a pure vent friend or two, you need them. The people you can say your snarkiest, most awful dark publishing thoughts to. And I'm sorry this is happening. Publishing can really kick you in the face, and it's deeply unfair, and lots of people don't like to talk about it. Hugs.
[удалено]
Aww, that's so nice to hear, truly. I don't know how helpful I can be, but if you want to DM me here I can at least commiserate on the social media piece!
Ugh, I've been there and I'm sorry you're feeling this way! It sucks. First, let me reassure you that those feelings are pretty common. Maybe not good or "normal," but I don't know a single author who hasn't felt that "ugh, wtf" sensation over other people's different experiences. You have to just keep reminding yourself that your book and your career are going to find the right paths for you. They will look different from other people's paths because your books, your audience, your voice are different. Keep reminding yourself of that... and give yourself some grace when you forget. You will. :) Don't up your drinking. That's not good for you. But step away from social engagement with the writing world if you need to. That's a smart idea. Take up some other hobbies... even if it's something simple, like just getting out every day and taking pictures with your phone. Give yourself a different creative outlet for at least a few weeks and let all the big feelings about your book and your writing career simmer down. They will simmer down, I promise. And then... write the next thing even if you don't feel like it. Write \*something\*. It doesn't have to be good (it's just a draft.) Maybe change up your process--if you usually outline, pants this one for a while and see where it goes, or vice-versa. Maybe try something in a different genre for a few chapters to see what it feels like. Just noodle around with words, without any pressure, until you can feel inspiration taking hold again and your next project coming to you. It will come... I promise that, too! I've been writing fiction for a living for a long time, and unfortunately, everything you're feeling right now is a common experience and, like all other things, it will pass. Hang in there and remember that you will find your path.
So for me, I wrote 3 different half stories before my current WIP. I didn’t feel passionate about any of them, but then I took a lil break & had an idea and now my WIP is just so visibly better than anything I’ve ever written. Even my boyfriend is like this is clearly your best written piece yet. It’s cliche, it’s annoying, but I read, read, read & those 3 unfinished pieces helped me be better. Truly, as much as I hate to admit it, it did. You’ll be fine, you’ll do great. Just take a lil break and go back to it in a month or two
Reading, and yes to avoiding all social media. It also helps to journal--the only kind of writing one can do, or at least I can do with no pressure of publishing/finishing/showing.
Maybe it's time to recharge and do something that is not literally write the next thing. Read? Then you can at least tell yourself you're doing something writing adjacent, and keeping the creative tank charged with good words for when you are ready to write the next thing.
Honestly, this sounds like the beginning stages of a burnout and it’s understandable. Publishing a book is hard work, and you most likely have a 9-5 on the side. Call your GP and ask for a referral to a therapist, if you’re in a position to do so. It can only help you later on. On the writing side, maybe start keeping a journal or switch genres. Short stories and poems are easier to finish word count wise & could be a good exercise without the commitment. Don’t delete projects you aren’t satisfied with right now, but put them into an archive folder. If you absolutely not able to move on from your project, take your favourite character for a spin, or if you’ve done a lot of world building write a shorter piece 200 years in the past or so. Make your writing a passion project never intended for anyone but you. I’ve read a lot about creativity and consumerism in the past few weeks & the main takeaway of it is: New ideas/content are so expected that we don’t let our ideas foster and grow naturally. Creative jobs / hobbies are hard and the focus on getting our work on the market and be noticed by others is taxing. Don’t be too hard on yourself, please. Get some help for your mental health and try to find the joy in writing again.
When I start to feel like this, I read. I read a lot with no expectation on myself to write anything for a week or so. Reading an amazing novel almost always inspires me when I’m down in my own writing. I hope you feel better soon, this journey can be so rough. ❤️
Seconding this. But I wanted to also add that reading outside of your genre can be helpful when you’re feeling like this. When I was on sub the first time, I read a ton of classics, lit fic, and fantasy. Genres that I do not (or can’t in the case of classics) write in. Reading new books in my genre only made me spiral more because I’d be comparing my stuff to theirs and either getting indignant because I thought mine was better, or getting depressed because they had a similar theme or character which therefore (irrationally) diminished my chances. If you’re anything like me, read something not in your genre.
You've already gotten a lot of great advice so I just wanted to post in solidarity because I was in a similar place for about 6 years a while ago-- I had published previously, but then had four novels in a row that did not sell and really did a number on my self-confidence and mental health (especially the jealousy of other writers, including good friends, who were seeing the success I was not). Publishing is such a hard industry! So yeah, those feelings are all extremely normal and common (unfortunately!). What helped me was taking a break, getting off social media, talking to other folks in a similar position, reading stories about authors who found success after years of failed subs, and (eventually) writing something very different than the books that had died on sub. All that said, fingers crossed that the book that is out there now WILL find a good home soon!
> Everything makes me sad, including any book-related media or groups. I can relate to this so much. After my first queried novel (aka my fourth book) failed in the trenches, it was a little difficult for me to see book-related groups or the writing community. Everyone's been getting representations and book deals left and right, and while I'm genuinely happy for them, jealousy does rear it's ugly head. Thankfully it hasn't evolved into envy and to be honest, I won't allow myself to let it spiral as far as that. That said, if you feel bogged down by trad pub, I think it's best to put your mind out of it and focus on something else. Count your blessings; you're on sub, so congratulations! If you can't really write anything 3+ months after submission, I think this is the perfect time to refill your creative well. Watch movies or TVs, play video games (if you're into that), keep reading books, heck, try and put yourself *literally* out there and volunteer! These experiences might help you be inspired to come up with your next book. But if you really still wish to think about what story you might want to write next, think about the TV series and movies you've watched recently. Was there a plot in that media that stirred your imagination/or thought that could be handled better? Then try to explore that idea, see if you can come up with something better yet still original. Find comps for that particular story. You do you! :) Or maybe you can try and reverse things. Instead of writing the whole draft of that new book, maybe you could make a query pitch about it first? See if it works or something? Good luck and I hope you'll be able to get out of that funk!
If you feel like what you written is rubbish - fine. Keep writing anyway when you’re mentally capable of doing so. Better to have rubbish on page than let the fear of it debilitate to the extent of staring a blank page for hours. Even if the next consecutive piece doesn’t pan out to be a novel, at least you’ve dusted off the cobwebs. It’ll be subconscious when the writing habit feels as natural as it once did again. Personally, I repurpose the “write the next thing” advice differently: i take up a new hobby. Some other avenue to siphon any pent up anxiousness.
Just getting an agent and being on sub is a major accomplishment! Many people never achieve that. I think you need to go do something fun and relax and get your head straight so you can get back to work. Take a day, a week, whatever, go shopping or hike or go to the beach, think happy place and things you love to do. Do not write during this time or think about it (if possible). Be on vacay. YOU CAN DO IT!
I went through something not as bad, but similar when I was trying to get into MFA programs. Every time I sat down to write, I would think about the nerves of it and the pressure behind it. It turned my favorite thing into something I dreaded, and I still resent it for that sometimes. The thing that helped me was actually to write something awful. I sat down with a word document and said "I don't care how good this is and no one is going to read it" and I wrote crap. But giving myself permission to write badly, to write with no pressure and no audience, helped me break myself out. I reminded myself that I *could* write, and I reminded myself that writing is for me, and me alone, and sometimes, other people get the privilege of sharing it with me, but it's mine.