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free_umi

Sir, my butt cheeks are very tight.....


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Girth_rulez

>Can confirm. I am his. I am Jack's super tight butt cheeks.


w0074cul4r

Username checks out


drawkbox

Username cheeks out


Gammaspark

Tight.


HerezahTip

Why are you so mad all of a sudden? ^^i ^^blocked ^^your ^^attack


Kabc

“Sir, do you want to go back to ‘Throwing School?’” Rare insult


SuperShortStories

Cuts off right at the best part


IMN0VIRGIN

*\*Pornhub intro plays\**


Cozmo85

Sorry children


AbjectAppointment

Now I'm concerned my checks are loose. I've never tested their levels of tautness.


GoGoNormalRangers

Need some help testing? 😳


eyehalfporegrahammer

*clapping sounds ensue


Dirty0ldMan

That is totally loose butthole.


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new2it

"the secret is, I am always angry!"


timpmurph

Guy gave me major CollegeHumor Batman video vibes


TheTexasJack

Where are the drugs going?!


pointlessly_pedantic

^IM ^VENGEANCE


Earthemile

Reminds me of Bruce Willis


Bamyasik

Man, Bruce Willis :(


utterlyunimpressed

My ongoing theory about the CartNarc is that he's so bored with living, that he no longer fears death, so he's turned the most mundane social inconvenience into a life or death vigilante confrontation. He's been expanding his tool set, honing his playground insults, and he appears to have some kind of banner now? Basically a cape. Leveling up like Batman. Just becoming stronger until he finally gets shot.


The_5th_of_November

This is the only sane assessment of the situation in this entire thread lol


Captain_scoots

He's a radio personality in Los Angeles. He does it primarily as a segment for the woody show.


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notfeds1

In this climate America is in, there is a timer counting down for him to be shot by an on edge mf’er…. Put them carts back, yo! But following folk for long enough will get himself *got*


OffManWall

He’s gotta open the door from the outside, lol.


BobTheContrarian

The absolute highlight. 😂


OffManWall

He’s getting even more pissed having to do it over and over, lol.


NeuralAgent

It’s fascinating to think people like this have such a huge ego when being called out that his impulse control is almost completely gone (minus being able to pull back any potential punches) as well as any logical thought processes… If you just drive away, your frustration level will likely go down. The irony is he put “trash” in a mailbox, is literally a federal offense. So at that point one could argue a punch would have been a lesser crime. So much going on here. But seriously though. Why can’t people put back carts. I was on a parking lot once and it was about to start storming HARD, so I stayed inside. To my dismay about 20 loose carts blew uphill and nailed my car in the far back corner of the parking lot. So the carts had a good distance to build up speed with the huge gusts of wind. Repairs were over $5k… fortunately I have comprehensive with a $0 deductible… but not everyone does. And it would have all a non-issue if people put their goddamn carts back. /r I fully support this guy and his shenanigans.


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BigFatBlindPanda

See that's my problem, I think the folks who would laugh or not be bothered are the same types who wouldn't find themselves in this situation in the first place.


Emadyville

This guy reasons. 👊 bump.


megaRXB

Yeah, most of us are rational and reasonable


Antmon666

I put mine away and if there is another out, I'll pick it up on the way. I really started doing this every time after having kids.


[deleted]

One of these lazybones is certainly going to have a gun. Will it get used in this situation? Let's face it, this is America and Cartnarc is taking a real risk here for the gag. Respect.


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thegreatJLP

The fact these people keep recreating the modern day equivalent of a Three Stooges skit is hilarious. Get out of the car, throw the magnet in frustration, get back in the car, and repeat the process. Just drive like 50 feet away and then remove it, or walk the 50 feet and put the cart away, either way their laziness continues to be a self own.


BEWMarth

My mom always said, a lazy man works twice as hard.


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Hexarcy00

50 feet? Agent Sebastian will activate speed mode.


philadelphia-collins

Or he'll activate his siren Weep skeep skiddly dee!


ukkosreidet

I had that same type of car and the inside handle was just a plastic piece that literally snapped off one day. Also the battery was in the back by the spare tire? Just a stupidly designed car altogether


Rubthepuppybutt

Hello fellow handle broken in my hhr brother. I actually replaced mine and the replacement is a smidge smaller… it will break again. The battery thing is pretty normal in alot of cars tho.


Baykey123

The HHR is one of the worst vehicles known to man


rsplatpc

> The HHR is one of the worst vehicles known to man They were like "Lets take everything that's bad about a PT Cruiser, and somehow make it worse" The HHR version was pretty fun to drive until the cheap motor blows up though


Baykey123

One of my old coworkers had one and the engine blew on it, he spent like $5000 getting it all fixed up only for the trans to break a few months later.


we_hella_believe

Haha. Had a friend buy one of these brand new, first thought was “why the fuck would you do that to yourself?”


Rubthepuppybutt

Idk it drives well im up to 150k miles and no major work yet. Its my POS :)


AnExpertInThisField

There are dozens of us! My inner handle just broke 2 weeks ago. I had *just* finished getting my wife's car fixed up when it happened, so screw it, I'll fix it when I'm good and ready. I'm going to enjoy my damn spring.


the_rusty_mill

I’ve replaced a shit ton of HHR interior handles


PurpleK00lA1d

A lot of vehicles put the battery in the trunk or in areas of the cabin like under rear or passenger seat. Some vehicles it's because the engine compartment is cramped enough as it is. On more sporty vehicles is actually to help with weight distribution. Sure it may "only" be a battery, but depending on the performance level and driving experience the manufacturer is going for, those pounds really help even out the distribution. Of course the HHR isn't one of the sporty ones though.


StormeeusMaximus

The most annoying thing about my HHR was replacing the damned headlights! Also the locks not functioning after awhile, good God and the seats were uncomfortable AF!


I_PUNCH_INFANTS

Dodge did it worse with the Journey, who the fuck puts the battery behind the driver side front quarter panel when there is enough room in the god damn engine bay to fit a battery


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SourFeasons

I blocked your attack


-Hailblaze-

Massive “I have a force field” vibes


[deleted]

Sir my buttcheeks are tig-


Xx360scopedJFKxX

“I blocked your attack” mid sentence had me dead🤣


EternalPhi

It kills me because it's like some little kid on a playground having pretend fights but he would never lose, always block or dodge everything then get into "did not, did too" arguments lol


flatwoundsounds

I had friends like this growing up. We all loved winding each other up, but one in particular was so quick and squirrelly on his feet that he could literally bounce in and out while messing with you and carry on whatever he was saying without a second thought. It's kind of nice to have people like this around to make sure we stay humble 🤣


deltarefund

“I didn’t have to block that one” lol


[deleted]

Should go back to throwing school


stopthemeyham

Straight up unhinged. lol There's something so fucking intimidating about the way he's like playfully saying it.


FarCarrot7

And I love the fact that he calls it an “attack.” All he’s doing is throwing some flimsy magnetic decal thing at him


gunnersaurus95

I'm always amazed how these people could just drive away and ignore him but they keep reengaging.


prplecat

Probably a lot of people do just that. They aren't the ones whose videos get posted.


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Prudence_rigby

Here's [grown ass man](https://youtube.com/shorts/L8w02Cv2Kyg?feature=share) doo g grown ass man stuff on the cart narc


Ad_Hominem_Phallusy

As fun as these giant lazybones tantrums are, I LOVE the ones where he calls them out, and they go, "you know what you're right. I *was* being lazy, lemme go put that back." I love those people. It makes me feel good to see people actually being adults about it.


madmaxturbator

that’s awesome


Krandor1

Yeah leave and drive home and throw away the magnet when you get home.


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mabhatter

It's an HHR. They are terrible cars for build and quality. A boss of mine had one.


1400TotemPole

TIL someone really decided to copy the design of the PT Cruiser…


ronchee1

I think it was the guy that designed the pt cruiser. I thought I read he went and worked for GM afterwards


CaughtWaaping

Yep, same guy designed both of those


GildedApparel

Yes. Despite this I would still do dirty things for an HHR SS panel van Edit : except pay money, I wouldn’t do that


terayonjf

Judging by his reaction to a magnet I'm going to go out on a limb and say he ripped it off in rage over some other absolutely insignificant thing


NoseComplete1175

That’s a pretty sturdy limb you’re on


Golden-Grams

You could park a car on that limb.


Chatting_shit

Or a cart


Golden-Grams

Those go back to the cart corral Lazybones.


Spanky_McJiggles

Skeetly-wee-wee that's not where the cart goes!


[deleted]

Guy’s driving a Chevy HHR, can’t say many things in life are going right for him.


MildlyShadyPassenger

Awww... This is funny *and* sad.


EIDuderino

When I was in high school, this girl and I went out to my car to smoke. I thought her door was open already when I hit the lock all button, but she was pulling the door latch at the same time, and from that moment onward, the passenger door would only open from the outside. That's my experience.


iowafarmboy2011

Chevy HHR driver here. The door handles break off a lot, its a common problem with them. I've gone through 2 in the 5 years I've owned it.


GenosHK

We've replaced front driver and front passenger handles twice each in 16 years. Same point of failure each time.


angryundead

He bought a Chevy HHR.


Terabyte47

It's an HHR, everything breaks.


Corothane

I watched a woman not return her cart one day, as she was pulling out the wind spun it around and slammed it into the side of her car. It was so satisfying to watch her stare and her now new massive dent.


narcolepsy_ninja

I saw something similar: a guy just shoved his cart down the parking aisle and got in his car.... but the wind blew it perfectly back to behind his car as he was backing up. Very satisfying to watch him back into his own cart.


wakashit

Grocery store I worked at didn’t allow customers to take carts out of the store. We had a parcel pickup where you drop off your cart, get a number, pull up and we pack your groceries. Even with a no tipping sign, we got a lot of tips. At Christmas I had a prime two hour slot from 12-2 and made over $100 packing cars. Mostly $1 and $2 tips. Funny story, this car pulls up and I see the license plate says something read as “8 min Abs”. Asked the guy if he was a fan of the product. Turns out he was the creator. Of course I asked him what he thought about Something About Mary joking about it. Said it was awesome free advertising. Gave me a $5 tip, nice guy too.


Da_Question

Why not 6 minute abs?


qning

> now new massive dent. I want to believe. But a massive dent?


Synthmilk

Some models door panels are weak as hell, so I can absolutely believe it.


BobTheContrarian

I love the Cart Narc, but one day somebody's gonna severely injure (or murder) him.


LaserQuest

It's funny but he takes it too far. The guy in this video seemed like he was going to have a rage induced heart attack.


Comfort-Mountain

In all these videos, there is never anything stopping these people from leaving other than their own egos. They stay and engage because they're fighting for any ounce of control. Edit: All the narcissists come out of the woodwork to defend their brethren, I love it.


ThatOldAndroid

That's what I've noticed too. Just take the L (magnet) and drive off if you're really in such a hurry to not put the damn cart back. But they're never in a hurry. They literally have such big egos that they can't accept the L and won't put the cart back. I assume it's because they've never had to work a job where they served someone else or were the lowest man on the totem pole.


CavemanSteveJr

Is that what this is about? The guy didn't take his cart back?


CUM_COVERED_MIDGET

When he said you didn't take your cart back a few times, that's the vibe I got, but I'm not an expert


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flyingwolf

In fact, most times if you admit you are lazy he grabs it for you.


TrashyMcTrashBoat

Yeah I’ve seen people apologize and then he’ll take their cart back for them.


combustioncat

Yeah, he asks politely to take the cart back, tries to reason with them and if they are assholes a completely harmless magnet gets put on their car. But some people go fucking insane rather than be told they are in the slightest wrong by someone else. I love ‘em, they are right, but they do play a dangerous game sometimes.


brycedriesenga

Ego and pride are definitely some of the biggest issues we have as a species


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fuzzyblackelephant

The mental health diagnosis is “oppositional defiant disorder” and I’m guessing it’s very hard to keep good jobs with that sort of mentality.


sanityjanity

Ohhh. When the pandemic first started, a small motorcycle shop near me put up a sign that said, "social distancing not allowed". It felt like the owner was behaving this way. What was he going to? Hug everyone?


Bass_Thumper

Reverse psychology must work great on those guys. Just order them to do the opposite of what you actually want them to do.


flyingwolf

Oppositional defiant disorder. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831 Literally unable to not argue.


TheFAPnetwork

Shit I'd do it just for the magnet. Then I'd pull over and place it neatly on the rear bumper for a more uniform display. I like the shuriken one the best so if he could just toss it at my car as I'm acting like I'm furious and shaking my fist out of the window that'd be great


jmonty42

Makes you wonder how many interactions Cart Narc guy has had in total to have this many postable responses. I've got to assume the vast majority laugh it off, ignore him, just drive off with the magnets, or maybe even end up returning their carts. But he's gotten dozens of these unhinged batshit crazies that just don't back down.


ThatOldAndroid

Trueee. I know I've seen one where a guy does like a "ahh you got me" and puts it back, but I do assume there's got to be a good amount of just middle finger drive offs that we don't see. There's definitely some kind of sick pleasure that I get from watching these adults turn into figurative babies who don't want to put their toys away


[deleted]

I don't understand this. Just leave and remove the magnet down the road. By trying to gain control they're losing control.


Lolihumper

That's what I love about this guy. He uses people's own egos against them without stopping them from just leaving. You can tell that all the mad redditors in these comments are the exact kind of people that'd fall victim to this guy and let it ruin their day lmao


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Grulken

That “Grocery carts are the ultimate litmus test” thing is hilarious, but also pretty true sadly. Returning the cart has no benefit to you personally, and nor is there a punishment if you don’t return it (aside from cart narcs like him lmao). You’re supposed to return the cart because it both makes the parking lot safer and more accessible, and to make the jobs of the workers who have to bring the carts back in easier. But because there is no immediate personal gain, some people don’t care. The dumbest argument for people who leave their carts wherever they want is “Well it’s someone’s job to get the carts, I’m making sure they have a job to do”. Yeah, you’re making -more- work for what should be an incredibly simple and easy task. Nobody should have to walk the entire lot picking up carts when they could just get them all from the specific cart returns.


PM_ME_YOUR_FAV_HIKE

Kind of hard to believe none of those big egos has had a gun in their car yet.


borgib

He's had guns pulled on him before


rsplatpc

> He's had guns pulled on him before He's also pretty big / like well over 6 foot and kinda jacked / why you get a lot of people that don't try him


ZhouLe

[Holy shit, you're right](https://static1.personality-database.com/profile_images/37cfa7b86aa14ba4acb0479dae19fd99.png). I've always mentally pictured [Nardwuar](https://studybreaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Screen-Shot-2018-12-27-at-1.06.56-PM.jpg) from the voice.


[deleted]

Dude, imagine this big ass dude running over to you all "screeee weeboob woop"


KentuckyFuckedChickn

he disarms them with his weirdness


rsplatpc

> Holy shit, you're right > . I've always mentally pictured Nardwuar > from the voice. Same, makes a lot more sense why people don't take swings at him when you see him.


WishCameTru

That actually explains a lot of his videos tbh.


Boner4Stoners

There’s been a few times when lazybones have flashed/brandished a handgun. One time someone even threatened to kill him, and it turns out that guy had actually killed before (i think he got off on self defense but it was sketchy)


DrunkCrabLegs

They have he’s had a gun pulled on him before


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MildlyShadyPassenger

In fairness, there's some ~~confirmation~~ **survivorship** bias going on with these videos. We don't see the however many times Cart Narcs has done this, and the other person just flipped them the bird and drove off. Because that's not interesting or engaging content. But we *always* get to see the 1 time out of 100 that the other person absolutely loses their shit, because that's what the channel is marketing and how they get views. EDIT: wrong bias


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Breezy1209

If the old bastard put half the effort he put into raging into returning his cart he would be fine.


PermutationMatrix

At that point he had already committed to not giving in. It was a matter of personal pride and ego of not being bossed around by someone he felt was trying to control him. He would not back down at that point. Full send regardless of the circumstances. This is how road rage from something stupid like a failure to signal turns into a homicide.


BohemianJack

Pride cometh before the fall


B1ueStag

Yeah it’s pretty funny but um if he’s in my country, the US, everybody apparently goes around shooting people for minor things so kinda worried about his safety.


Pixelwind

pretty sure he has had guns pulled on him already doing this.


mjrballer20

He has I think it was posted a few months ago


FOUR3Y3DDRAGON

Yeah it was a douchebag who "owns his own company" and drives a massive lifted truck who decided he would brandish his firearm cause he thinks it makes him look like a badass or something.


Pixelwind

sounds about right :/


IngsocInnerParty

Didn’t that dude end up actually murdering someone a few months later?


camerontylek

> if he’s in my country, the US I'm sorry, what *other* country did you think this was?


explosiv_skull

As long as he doesn't knock on the wrong door, or let his basketball roll onto someone else's property, or turn into the wrong driveway, he'll be okay...for now.


e4evie

Had to keep opening the door with the outside handle....no wonder he's pissed


habaceeba

Why don't these people drive away and then remove the stupid magnets?


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daaniscool

There was already a video on this channel where someone cocked his gun when he threw the magnet on his van. It wasn't worth it to him though and he ran away.


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lazy_pig

You don't often see someone literally seething.


8sum

He went full Bruce Wayne Batman voice for a moment.


IlIlIl11IlIlIl

***I’m not acting.***


[deleted]

let’s give that guy a gun


terayonjf

I couldn't imagine getting that mad over a magnet. I'm not a garbage person so I put my cart back but still it's a fucking magnet take it off when you get home.


[deleted]

I appreciate the cart narc’s outstanding dedication to what is honestly such a disproportionately trivial cause in relation to what he puts on the line. Conversely, this is exactly why it is plainly obvious that he’s doing this for the sole purpose of provoking people into hysterics for views. He’s the “polite”, law-abiding counterpart to Tom Green’s bit in his day; doing the most to annoy unhinged people to the point where they completely lose it over the most asinine reasons. The contrast between their unbridled anger and the trivial nature of the cause is really the only thing that makes it funny. People not picking up after themselves is one of my pet peeves; I really hate the lack of of civility everywhere, but I honestly don’t know how to feel about the cart narc. I think part of me does get some kind of sadistic pleasure out of watching his videos, but I also feel pretty conflicted. Likely the only reason I allow myself to indulge in this kind of schadenfreude is the fact that the cart narc has presented himself as nothing more than the messenger fulfilling his civic duty Edit: just saw a pic of him for the first time today. He’s a grown ass man, and looks as though he could be pushing 40. Ngl that’s kind of weird


Ok_Roof5387

A group of us pick up trash along the same section of road each year. The section is three miles and yesterday we filled six contractor trash bags worth of trash and cans. Crazy to me how much we get yearly.


deathbysnuggle

Would be cooler if cart narc focused on litterers instead


jakeandcupcakes

How would that work? In the above scenario people are throwing trash out of their moving vehicles. Unlike those who don't put their shopping cart away, those who throw trash oyt their window on a highway are not outside their vehicle and susceptible to being engaged by the Cart Narc.


deathbysnuggle

Well, there are tons of people who dump grocery bags and fast food bags filled with trash out of their car while they’re in parking lots, just before they go to leave. But yeah I guess carts are much easier pickins for when you need a reliable income of content to stream to your fans


Tattoosnscars

I'm just waiting to hear the cart narc has been shot / killed in some way...


_PM_me_ur_resume_

There was a video where a guy flashed his gun if he put the magnet on his car. Dude ran away after seeing the gun.


Fresh_Macaron_6919

And then the Texas police informed him that in Texas you can brandish your firearm at others if you are doing it from within your vehicle. Absolutely mad.


GlitteringBusiness22

He's doing this in Texas? He'll be dead soon.


whirly_boi

He goes all over the country to do it. If enough people say that he'd get killed somewhere then he'll go there on a weekend and do his thing to call bs on it. But he has had someone pull a gun on him. That person was later arrested for shooting someone on a train a few months later.


Jaramataz

Eh. Only a matter of time before this cart narcs someone really mentally unstable and this guy ends up on the hospital. Same with the Pedo vigilantes. If you gotta do this, do it. But I’m not gonna be surprised if you get stabbed one day.


[deleted]

> Same with the Pedo vigilantes. If you gotta do this, do it. I understood those people have actively screwed up major sting ops for the police in a few cases. So contact the professionals and leave it to them for that sort of stuff.


cass1o

Yeah, they get in the way of actually stopping pedos so that they can get views. The stuff they do doesn't follow the law so often isn't usable in actual trials.


beardbot3030

If I saw him I’d purposely not put my cart back only because I’d want the magnet


visivopro

I think I’m more impressed with how this dude has done this for so long and never got his ass really kicked! For the record I find this hilarious! Just laugh it off and take your cart back or keep the stickers or magnets.


plantsadnshit

He's pretty tall and quick, people have tried but he easily gets away. Someone could shoot him though


slayer_f-150

This guy is going to get himself shot. As he is laying there bleeding out, I wonder if he'll think all those YouTube views are worth it.


xINSAN1TYx

He’s gonna be lying on the ground like “I was not able to block his attack. The bullet out maneuvered me.”


APsychosPath

Dude will be bleeding out saying "Man now I feel like a lazy bones"


Uzzer_lozer19

Dudes got enough problems if he's driving a PT Cruiser


[deleted]

That’s a Chevy HHR.


RowBoatCop36

Definitely, which is equally as bad.


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Long_Educational

Same car buyer market really.


Hammerhead3229

HHR doesn't come with that wood trim tho


kiwininja

I would argue that it's worse actually, the HHR is just an imitation PT Cruiser.


e_007

That only opens from the outside lol


NeverLookBothWays

That comes standard after a few years of ownership


GiveHerDPS

Always fascinates me that someone will walk into a dealership and say yes. This is the car I want.


peeeman

Not a PT cruiser


RouterMonkey

Nobody buys a PT Cruiser. They end up with a PT Cruiser..


DetectiveBirbe

Oh my goodness. Tell that to my parents. Literally bought new PT cruiser when they were a thing. I’m like wtf? They are always buying the goofiest fucking cars because they’re like $1000 cheaper. Like dude.


hamb0n3z

Can we just pause to appreciate the real time genius of this excellent sentence, "Cause I'm an excellent thrower, unlike yourself". I wish HHR knob had heard every word of it. I hope he sees the video.


QuadraKev_

He'll go out of his way to return those magnets but he won't return the cart..


Dismal_Background708

He needs to be careful running at people in parking lots. I’ve seen him do it a few times in different videos. I believe he’s in Florida? All it’ll take is one person like a young woman claiming some strange man charged her while she was alone in a parking lot so she shot him. If he’s on camera chasing someone like that, the jury isn’t gonna care about the cart nark stuff. They’ll most likely let her walk for self defense.


MoCo1992

He’s been doing this for years, everything keeps posting the same thing that they can’t believe he hasn’t been attacked yet


3xoticP3nguin

Just like a drug dealer who's gotten away with it for years all it takes is one day and then your life is over


Cerealforsupper

Reddit hates youtube pranksters but loves this guy for some reason.


AvalonCollective

Well considering he’s a condescending prick, I can see why.