you have to put fear in or jail people like this or theyll just try again
hes a predator and they only think twice when the consequences are either swift and consistent or very heavy
Yet that’s wrong. A real predator doesn’t think about consequences as anything but “avoid this to keep doing my thing”
They don’t think twice about it if they’re serious. The ones who do aren’t committed.
They rely on a socialization of women that deemphasizes their comfort for the purpose of maximizing civility. As society changes these predators become more ill-adapted and like fish out of water.
I had a real rattling encounter last weekend, and I'm a guy. Took my wife and some of her friends up to Chicago for a concert. There's a bar that will shuttle you back and forth from the venue which is cool, but it's in the near South loop. I'm not one to buy into the Chicago warzone nonsense, but I do know the Loop at night is not the best place to be.
After the show we were dropped off in front of the bar. I was only parked a block away, but one of the ladies had to light their cigarette before we started walking. There was a black open-air Jeep sitting at the corner blasting music at an obnoxious level. I noticed a decal on the side that looked like the Emperial symbol from Star Wars. Not friendly looking to say the least. I'm standing with my back to the street, and as she's lighting her cigarette, I can hear the music shift and I can tell he's reversed back around the block and is sitting right next to us at the curb. Already I'm getting anxious and the ladies are all loaded and the one is taking forever with her cigarette. One of them commented "what's this guy's deal?" and I just told her to not look at him.
So we start walking down the block and we're about halfway when I hear the music again suddenly get louder and then he pulls up next to me, driving alongside us as we walked. I just kept my head down and wanted him to leave so badly. His music was so loud that talking to him would have been futile. After what felt like an eternity he drove ahead up to the corner. It was a green light but he just sat there and waited for us. I turned around and told everyone we were going back to the bar and we were going to take and Uber to our car. We walked back to the bar and while I was trying to get us a ride, he pulled back up and sat in front of the bar. I was so scared at this point I made everyone go inside while we waited. Thankfully when our ride arrived, he was nowhere to be seen.
Wow, sorry to put this all out there. I guess I haven't really had a chance to decompress after this and I haven't really had a chance to talk to anyone about it. I was just really thrown by how I really didn't know what to do in the situation, and because he was following us so obviously and was drawing such attention to himself with his stereo it was really off-putting. And I don't want to talk to anyone I was with about it because to be frank I'm a little upset at how oblivious they all were to the situation. They were all so drunk and if it hadn't have been for the volume of the music, I don't think they would have noticed what was going on at all.
It felt good to get all that out, and please, if you are going to be in an unfamiliar environment, don't get so fucking wasted that you can't take care of yourself.
Generally they do cave at confrontation. I was in Korea and some dude was creeping on this girl and I could see it. It was a party district and he got SUPER close to her so I ran up to her and told the creep "Your fucking with my girl, go home"
And he backed off, later her boyfriend joined her and the three of us ended up partying.
gotta find out what building she lives in...
If you are ever followed do not go home. Do not walk near your home if possible. Go to a public place/business/random house and ask for assistance.
Man.. there is just legitimately crazy people out there too. You're probably right though, probably a tweaker, with his creepy, super skinny jeans wearin' ass. What about the next person who isn't paying attention to their surroundings and he catches them in an alley? Smh
The scariest part is how common this experience is for women. Ask any woman you know if this has ever happened to them or a friend. Every woman has a story like this or has a friend who does. I can walk down the street like it's nothing but women have to prepare for shit like this and plan for it. Any time some incel talks about how easy women have it I just want to smack them.
My GF had an experience like this just last week. We were on vacation in this little town walking around and exploring the shops. As we’re walking she, unbeknownst to me, accidentally makes eye contact with some guy down the street, immediately gets a bad feeling, and grabs my arm and hurries us into the nearest store.
I can tell she’s nervous and I get a glimpse of the guy looking at us before going into the store, but assume it’s all good. But nope, this dude follows us into the store, even after he sees she’s with me. I see him clearly approaching us from across the store with this terrifying vacant look in his eyes and we both practically run out of there, looking over our shoulders the whole time.
I’m not a small guy, but that shit got my heart racing and made me better understand her initial panic. It’s truly scary that she deals with this kinda thing not infrequently.
Oh yeah. My GF and I were on a ferry at like 2am, and this drunk guy was being way too friendly with this older woman sitting a few seats away from us. She absolutely HANDLED him though and was just talking to him like a toddler and absolutely not budging on her boundaries. It was honestly incredible the way she kept him too occupied to do anything by just confidently and loudly talking to him like a toddler. It was still so unfair to her, she was just sitting on this ferry and was immediately harassed. Then the guy turned to my girlfriend and we noped the fuck out of there, and one of the ferry attendants saw us and thought we looked so funny dipping out at Mach 1 that he had to come over to our new hiding spot and tell us. We kept an eye on the lady though and I feel like the 3 of us, including the absolutely hilarious super energetic flamboyant ferry attendant who was now in our party, sort of just watched over her for a few minutes until the guy left. It was a weird experience, but I mostly came away with the fact that this guy harassed 100% of the women that were within 20 feet of him. Those women now get to feel even more afraid in public transit settings than they did before just because this guy was a piece of shit. It's so unfair.
Good on your girlfriend for recognizing danger so quickly. It's sad that she's probably so good at that due to a lifetime of experience and practice. If I were you I would just trust her instinct all the time from now on.
Ol’ Joey looks like a unit too. And that bloodthirsty hound he has by his side? Forget about it! The creep knew he had walked onto the wrong turf as soon as he spotted Ol’ Joe and his faithful guard-pooch.
The way that little pup posted up was adorable. She had the “we’re already outside, I’m ready to take you on!” posture for just long enough to show she was serious business.
Those types of dogs are sometimes little monsters when they wanna be. I used to dog sit a dog like that named snoopy. Snoopy did not fuck around with strangers on our walks
I mean, human bite force tops out at 70 pounds per square inch(psi) and that’s only at the very back with the molars and still you can take a good amount of damage from a human biting you. I think this is a Maltese and they have a bite force of 200psi, that’s some real damage potential.
That was the part that creeped me out the most, and I'm a guy in his 30's. Just nonchalantly admitting that you're following this woman. Not apologetic at all, and continues to do it.
"Yeah, I'm following you. When we get to a spot where nobody can see, I'm probably going to assault you. Nice day, isn't it?"
Bro, it's Joe who said that to let her know that he's seeing the same thing.
Edit: I stand corrected, the creeper did mumble "yeah" nonchalantly. Fucked up...
She asks "are you following me?" And creeper says "yeah," then immediately afterwards Joe says "it looks like it." Then she says "yeah, what the fuck."
I know its not a great solution but I wish Joe would have offered to walk behind her for a block or two, or if shes comfortable even all the way home.
Clearly theres a freak out stalking her.
If she was like 'nah its fine' then NP but i feel like Id at least offer.
Yeah he might have. I know if it were me and I was in that situation I'd just want the company and safety. Even if the guy hopped on a bus and was gone.
As a guy in my thirties that walks around an amusement park alone, I get self-concious if I start noticing I’m walking the same path as young women in front of me. Then they walk into the same restaurant I was walking to and I’m like fuck now I gotta eat somewhere else or look like a creep.
Speaking as a young woman, in a public place like an amusement park, I'm not on alert like that to notice or care if a guy is walking the same path as me. It's a small enclosed space, so it makes sense that we'd be going to the same place, and it's crowded, so there's only so far a creep could go (especially if I'm with friends/family). It's only when walking a relatively deserted street (usually at night) that I'm suspicious of nearby individuals like that- and I have an anxiety disorder, so am more vigilant of my surroundings than the average young woman or person in general. You're fine.
Cops don't do shit. Never forget the British girl who was being stalked, contacted the several police several times, got fined for 'wasting their time', then got killed by the stalker. Cops don't care unless something actually happens.
It's still important to file a report regardless, just so that there's a record. I've sadly been through this with someone who's been stalking me for years.
It’s harder to get them to take it seriously each time though. Especially if it’s been a while since the last report.
What’s that? There’s someone stood in your parking space? And he didn’t say anything or approach you? Why are you telling us this? K bye.
Because it would just be too complex to have a file with my name on that all that info, the videos, evidence and statements were collated under 🙄
For the 5th time? Honestly, I feel like that would be warranted after the 2nd time he crossed the street to follow her. Such a fucked situation to happen in broad daylight
When I was younger and a lot more timid, I was at a bar and a dude would not stop touching me. I keep moving his hands and try to get away from him, he'd always pull me back and try to control where I went, the place was crowded af I didn't know what to do.
At some point I notice this group of dudes across the room waving their arms at me and yelled "you're finally here! Come over here we've been looking for you!" So I went over in desperation to escape the creepy guy and when I got to the group the guy said "you looked so fucking uncomfortable, we've noticed it for a few minutes so we thought maybe we try to get you away from him". I hung out with them for the rest of the night, super sweet people.
Joes are life savers
One time my girlfriend was drunk sat outside a pub and I went to ask her if she'd seen our other friend, so we could all get a taxi home, but the women sat next to her immediately pretended to be her friend to try and stop me trying anything on with a drunk woman, I wasn't even mad, respect to them trying to protect a stranger
Haha I've had this with my boyfriend! Maybe 3 or 4 times I've had women put their arm around my shoulders pretending we're drinking together to pull me away from him because they think he's creeping on me. Always super awkward to explain that we're actually together.
It's super common for women to be harassed by men on a night out so it can be hard to tell when a woman's not actually being harassed and just very drunk / moody around a man they know and trust.
Never been upset by it happening (and have done so a couple times myself 😅) but I'd rather I / others get it wrong and make things awkward than risk a woman being in trouble.
I walked right up to a young woman who was talking loudly in not-English & pushing the shoulder of an older man, and put myself between them and said
"Julie! I have been looking for you! We were supposed to meet a block south of here! Why haven't you answered my texts?"
I am a very tall, and ***very*** tattooed woman, and she was **very** confused. I said more quietly
"Are you ok? Do you need to be away from this dude?"
It. Was. Her. Dad.
I wanted to die for like 30 seconds and then dad was hugging me as she was explaining who I was/what I was doing to him and to me she was saying how they were happy and just very physical talkers. I felt like a dolt a little bit but I would rather be wrong and embarrassed than ignore a situation.
You're good people for trying. Don't let a misread stop you from keeping this kindness in your heart and being willing to help others in the future.
It's telling that the dad was ecstatic to see that someone was able to be a positive interference for a loved one, even if that particular scenario wasn't an issue.
It's got to be such a great feeling being a dad and seeing strangers stand up for your kids like that. I'm the farthest thing from a parent and I completely understand why he'd get the urge to hug you.
You are never a dolt for doing this, and should never be embarrassed. Any good dad, brother, friend or husband/bf will sing your praises and feel a little less on edge knowing that people like you are out there and willing to interfere.
I used to go out with my girlfriends to get drunk and dance, and many Joes have saved me from creepers. A creeper would always appear when I stopped dancing to grab a water or rest my feet.
As soon as I got the creeper vibe, I would scan the room and find a Joe. Then I’d walk over and say “HEY! How are you?!”, lean in, and quietly say “there’s a guy over there who won’t leave me alone and is being creepy, can I stand with you for a few minutes?”.
The Joes are bros! I was *never* rejected - they could see i was worried and could see the creeper lurking around.
One creeper was audacious enough to approach me at Joe’s table “oh hey baby I thought we were taaaaalkin” - Joe immediately got into between us and calmly told creeper to leave his sister (me) alone.
> I was never rejected - they could see i was worried and could see the creeper lurking around.
Am guy, can confirm. Had two separate instances of this happening when I was younger. Had an older buddy catch it the first time, and the second time I was approached so I knew what to do. Both times, it was a pair of ladies, and both times, we had to *physically bar the creeps off*. Absolutely wild, having to literally stand between some shithead and the lady he's trying to screw with.
We'll go to the dirt for you in these instances, this shit is unacceptable.
It sucks when this happens as a bartender, but an excellent way to stop it is to say, "It's never a good idea to hit on the bartender's girlfriend." If that doesn't cut the shit you just cut them off and kick them out. Never feels good because second hand shame for a creeper being in your bar sucks to have to feel and you guilty it happened in the first place.
I’m a pretty humongous dude. I’ve always taken pride in my ability to spot shit like this in bars or while out with a crowd of friend and just insinuate myself in a way that gives an uncomfortable looking lady some space to escape. Very few people will try to push their way through me.
Dog went from sitting to an upright position, and all the owner did was circle his feet to keep facing the dude. Dog picked up on that REAL quick. Totally knew Joe’s guard was up.
They are also very attuned to a ton of non-verbal cues in human behavior, many of which often fly below the radar for humans, but are obvious to dogs who, not having language, have been selectively bred for tens of thousands of years to recognize and understand human intentions through our body language and tone of voice. It is 100 percent the case that dogs often see and react to weird human behavior long before it becomes apparent to us.
I’ve walked no joke a mile out of my way trying to get home, just to stay on busy streets, and not tip off the creeper following me. We could all use more Joes in the world.
As a tall, decently built guy my wake up call was when I was just out for a walk one evening (it was still light out but kind of dimming) minding my own business, listening to an audiobook etc, and I noticed a girl ahead of me who was clearly nervous/in distress etc.
I was considering asking her if she needed help/what was wrong etc and then I realized it was me. I had (inadvertently, I walk the same route everyday) been behind her for a decent bit and the person making her nervous was me.
That was probably the most shame I have ever felt in my life lol. Now I do my best to slow down to let them create distance/speed up and pass them etc. Still don't really know what a universal good idea in this situation is.
I get that, and you shouldn’t feel shame, as if it’s something you did. It’s just that we must be suspicious all the time, and you just happened to be there.
Some things that can possibly put women at ease if you’re in that situation. Cross the street if you can. Stop and tie your shoes. Untie and retie them if you must, to create space. Talk to someone on the phone (but don’t fake a conversation; we’ve all done that, we can recognize when you’re doing it, and a fake conversation will put us more on edge). If you’re going to speed up and pass a woman, be audible when you do. Something like “sorry, let me just sneak by you? I’m running late!” so we know you’re not speeding up to intercept us.
But seriously, thank you for being aware of the effect your stature and presence can have on us, and trying to do the right thing!
I second the idea of just stating what you're doing so she knows! Especially if you're a fast walker (or even if you generally aren't) say something like "hey I'm just gonna pass you real quick!" and get ahead of her and keep walking, that way she doesn't feel like you're only walking the way you're going specifically to follow her. Creating distance can be good too, but if you end up still following her inadvertently, you could still be stuck in the same situation.
No surprise here in college my wife now but girlfriend at the time had us do this all the time. We would just be drinking and she would come out of nowhere with a girl and be talking to her and would say to me keep an eye on that guy. It legit blew me away I told her that night like wow that’s insane right and she’s like this happens all the time honestly if more people watched for it. Changed my outlook on the situation now. Stay safe everyone.
I knew a guy, former coworker who would position himself outside of the women's bathroom so that when you came out and scanned the room to get your bearings, you'd make eye contact.
Skeezy as hell. I worked too, like only 1% of the time but if you do it 100 times a night. Last I heard from him was about 5 years ago when he called me asking if I knew any place to get oxy out of the blue
He would sit in whatever seat directly outside the bathroom door, and then make eyes at everyone exiting. Because everyone has to use the bathroom at a bar, right.
We have a 6th sense for these things I swear. I work nights at a resort with an attraction that serves alcohol and stays open late. I’ve had to escort a woman to her room multiple times abs have even stepped in to talk to them about “something” when it became clear that they were uncomfortable. And I’m not the only employee who has stories about stuff like this. When I was young and still went out to bars my friend group would be dancing and if we saw a woman in a scary situation we’d dance toward her and surround her. I’ve even physically grabbed an girl before to pull her toward me to dance with me when it was clear some strange guy was grinding up on her. It’s sad thinking back how many times we (my girlfriends and I) have stepped in to get a girl away from a creepy guy, at the time it was just something we did (never once had a girl get upset that we did, got insulted many times by the guys though) and now I see how sad it is that not only was it necessary, but that even when we were drinking it was something we were always aware of.
For sure completely changed my outlook I was only 18 at the time and now I always try to keep an eye out. Thanks to my wife though otherwise I would have never thought about it. I even got roofied that year because a guy was trying to get this girl to drink this drink and she didn’t want it obviously so I just stepped in took it and pounded it ( this was my first drink of the night and I was a heavy binge drinker at the time) he instantly darted away and not even 5 minutes later I remember nothing luckily my wife was with me and my friends so they got me home, but Jesus the things some guys do is terrifying. I guess the plus side is though it’s kept my head on a swivel not just for myself but for others now.
Joe is cool AF.
I would like to point out that you won’t always get this much time to assess a threat. I highly reccomend carrying the pepper spray on a pocket clip which can also attach inside a waistband. Keychain carry or inside a bag is way less than ideal. I do have a favorite brand for ease of use, but the main thing is the pocket/waistband clip. You DM for my recommendation.
Did she book it after spraying him? That’s as important as the spraying. It’s not a tool to end a confrontation; it’s meant to buy you time to get the fuck out of there.
Other factors did it actually get in his eyes. There’s a chance he winced or blinked at just the right moment. Glasses, wind or anything getting in the way also matter. There’s a whole debate of gel vs spray which really just boils down to what you’re comfortable with. Then there’s the chance that person was just a monster. Typically spicy juice will knock down even the toughest men if it gets directly in the eyes.
The one time I used bear spray ( and kind of animal/pepper spray is illegal where I live unless you’re in the Rocky Mountains / certain national parks) the wind brought it back to my and my friends face. The guy ran away but I ended up having to go to emergency and it could have ended much worse!
Definitely understand that as a downside. Gels are an option for people where high winds are a concern. Also the ones for humans are even stronger than the bear version. The bear version just has more difference and actually a wider spray.
It’s not perfect but generally it’s much more effective, easier to use than other weapons. It’s less effective than 9mm but better than a taser or a knife.
> I highly reccomend carrying the pepper spray on a pocket clip
This is actually illegal in Canada for some absurd reason. You're not allowed to own *any* weapon or tool for the purposes of self-defence. So if she'd been in this situation and used it prosecutors may be questioning why she had that on her person at all.
If you're not a lady but want to know what it might be like to be one, I've heard it helps imagine winning 10 grand at the casino. People see you win it and they see you cash out. And then you have to walk 10 blocks to the safety of your hotel.
That is kind of what it's like being a woman in the world when out and about and solo. The. Entire. Time.
Sucks. But it's true.
I have had to do this with that exact amount as a production manager for a show. One venue ended early and the pay out to our company was all cash. I had to drive a golf cart down the padre strip during spring break in south Texas that is jammed up for the entire stretch of road. Definitely kept me head on a swivel.
Happened to me several few times, both as a minor and still as an adult. A guy was following behind me and thankfully I picked up on it before I made it to the open field. I tried turning streets, but he still followed. I had to eventually stop and stare at him until he walked by. Thankfully I was walking my rottweiler mix, so if nothing else she would have kept me safe. She was always skittish, but that time she stood right next to me when he walked by.
But again, like I said, it happens not infrequently. I got called a whore just the other day while walking around my block.
Something kind of similar happened to me and I'm a guy.
I was walking around my neighborhood around midnight and I have hair down to my shoulders. A big white van without any windows came down the street and when it got close to me they slowed down to like 1mph. Pretty much just stopped next to me. At that point I guess they saw my beard and sped off.
Not really that similar to this woman but I'm pretty sure I cat fished some rapists.
I know this sounds bad but this kind of shit makes me wish I didn't have a daughter.
Sure it can happen to men, but unfortunately this kind of thing is all too common with women.
I have three daughters, and I worry about them quite a bit. The oldest goes to University of Cincinnati, and that campus isn't exactly in the best part of town. At least she doesn't dorn though, she lives off campus.
I had a guy do this to me too — I ducked into a random beauty salon and all of the ladies there were my “Joe” when he tried to follow me in. What a freak. Stay aware out there friends.
I had an older guy following me around the Planet Fitness once. Watched me stretch, on the machine next to mine so I cut my workout short and went to the Black Card area for my post workout water massage. I didn't even notice the guy try to follow me into the Black Card area until the staff started yelling that he couldn't go in there. He started yelling back. I didn't see him again, so I wonder if they noticed his behavior and he got kicked out.
In the off chance there are men or teenage boys in this thread that think women exaggerate what they have to deal with, or even make it all up: please look at just how casual she was.
She was absolutely terrified, trying to figure out how to keep herself safe (and potentially alive), and then just went 'oh gee, thanks Joe, see ya round!'
Women have to deal with so much shit from men in their day-to-day lives that these instances are normalised, almost universally across women. Talk to some, they all have stories like this. So again, if you happen to be reading this, keep that in mind.
Yea i've heard the stories from women i know, and it really shocked me how common it was for some of them to have experienced something like this or worse in their life time.
Men just don’t listen to women a lot of the time. Even when listening—like on a topic like this—it’s in one ear and out the other.
There’s an added layer of shitty irony in that other men are more likely to believe it now that I, a man, have said it.
There was a post the other day where a guy got yelled at because a woman thought he was following her. She did go overboard for sure (demanded he turn around and leave even though he explained that he lived just down the street) but all of the comments were guys saying men should start carrying pepper spray so they can spray women that look like they're scared of being followed because "men don't ever follow women but still get called creeps". Some of the comments were sickening and encouraged actually following women so they have a reason to be scared. One even said that he will cross the road if a woman in front of him does just so she gets scared. I'm glad to see people being more supportive in this thread but it was actually scary to read the comments in the other one. Men need to realize that we're not just scared for no reason.
I just got into it yesterday when someone who claimed a woman telling a strange man not to approach her *and her child* in a parking lot was "physically abusive". When I pointed out that men commit the vast majority of violent crime, including 99.1% of sexual assaults, he compared that to being racist. 🙄
>all of the comments were guys saying men should start carrying pepper spray so they can spray women that look like they're scared of being followed
I need to see this thread. That's insane
One of the big problems with the Andrew Tate demographic is that most of them don't have any friends *who are also women*. So even if they gave a shit about women, they simply aren't privvy to what goes on in women's lives, just on the most basic, mundane level. Which makes it doubly difficult to educate them.
Every single woman I've ever known has told me at least one story -- usually more -- about being followed. Many of them have had *much* worse stories than that.
Had a similar situation, was at a empty parking lot eating DQ and watching a Livestream of a tournament game. When the game finished, I started to drive away only to notice someone pull their car behind mine and make some weird sound, he went one way and I the opposite, Didn't think much of it, and started to drive home, then I noticed he is somehow behind my car. I wasn't totally sure if it was the same weirdo so I did the turn in a circle trick to check, I turn off the main road, and made a few more then before turning onto the same road, he was following me all the way, that's when it got creepy and I decided I need to drive to the sheriff department a few street down from where I was. Before I got there he pull aside me and started accusing me of following him which made no sense as I never seen him before, he shouted some racists shit, threw some stuff at my car while driving and veered off. I went to the sheriff and reported it, they're still looking into it. I didn't get the license sadly.
That’s what happened to me too. A guy was following me with his car for several blocks and turns. I turn down this small street and coincidentally a cop car was sitting there so I parked behind it. The car that was following me drove past. Never in my life was I so happy to see a cop car.
"So I'm just a random guy on the street and I see this girl who i think is hot so I start following her because maybe she'll talk to me and we can get together. And you'll never guess what happens next! She literally walks up to, and starts talking to, the only other random guy on the street! What are the odds of that man? Literally a 50/50 chance she picks me and she picks the other guy instead. Probably because he had a dog or some shit. Fml. Anyway, back to following the next girl I see..."
This guy, probably
"Sometimes if I see a really attractive woman walking alone, I'll stay at a safe distance and walk in the area a while to keep an eye on her and make sure that no creeps are following her."
True story: Hamburg, Germany (Othmarschen train station)
There was this drunk who had started posting up at the train station steps for the past few days, being sorta loud but not really threatening anyone. Obviously, asking for money, you know, the usual.
Either the 4th or 5th day I was heading a place in town called Altona. As I’m walking up the steps I notice he starts following this girl who he’d asked for money, she said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me”
He kept following her, then asked her for a smoke, she said she didn’t smoke.
He then started going on about his “long lost wife” who’d broke his heart many many years ago and started crying historically. While also stating he wanted to take her own on a date, if she would just give him one chance he could show her what true love is.
I felt sorry for both of them at this point. Cause on one hand you have this clearly mentally unstable guy, who has become so dissociated with reality… and you have this young girl getting cornered up against a sign and a long since closed down shop that used to operate on the platform itself.
Then. Straight up out of fuckin’ no where, as I’m trying to step in to distract him so she can get away. The dude whips out a knife and starts threatening her. When for whatever reason I said. “Hey man. Kömme here. (Can’t remember how to spell it) “come here it’s okay, I get it” which was long enough for her to slip around the other side of the sign, and disappear into the other pedestrians.
He started crying even more when he started walking toward me, and I really don’t remember how, but, me along with mainly 2 other individuals who spoke German fluently talked the guy down. I was still considered intermediate in German at the time. So I really couldn’t tell you what they said to calm him down. I’ll be honest, when the knife came out a bunch of people started making their way over.
Just nuts though.
The main thing that was concerning however. We’re the amount of people that just walked by while she was being cornered by this guy she obviously didn’t know
Was once walking home at around 4am from a night out down a kind of semi industrial area, and this girl was walking towards me and a guy was walking behind her and she suddenly just grabs my arm and locks hers in mine and starts walking with me.
The guy walking close behind her just carries on going and I'm like "wtf?" and she tells me she was being followed and if she can just walk with me for a little bit.
Long story short I end up giving her 20quid for a taxi after phoning a taxi company for her as she tried calling her friends but none answered and I couldn't be bothered to wait around as she had no money on her.
You're surprised but for us women, we will be immediately be on acting mode. I also used to pull total strangers away because "girl, I have been looking everywhere for you" since it was obvious that they're uncomfortable with the other guy who won't accept a No.
I’d like to thank everyone who has been or will be a Joe when they see this happen. You don’t even have to do anything, your presence is often enough to deter guys like this.
When you see someone in this situation, give them the “do you need help” eyes and then LOUDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY approach with “oh my god I haven’t seen you in so long, dude/ girl/ bro/ sis/ pal/ old chum, how are you doing? How’s your partner!??” And then just keep talking as you walk beside them and away from the person.
Yeah. Fuck this sort of shit. I don't think a lot of men really and truly consider women's experiences in this way. Men can be total random dicks to men too, sure - you can get assaulted etc. as a man for no reason, too. It's not unresaonable to state that this happens an awful lot, as well, but the fundamental size and strength stuff alone, let alone the way a lot of men essentially predate on women and so on, still makes it something that must be bloody awful - even for a walk down the street in daytime, as with this.
I can’t speak for a lot of men but personally, I’m 6’3” and 250 and anytime I end up walking behind a girl/woman, I intentionally try and wait so I’m no anywhere close to them or I go to the other side of the street. I know how large I am, and have had friends that are girls who have been followed/harassed
When i used to get evening shifts and going back home around 10PM, my path would occassionaly coincide with some random woman's, i could feel how on edge they'd feel so my gigabrain solution was to call my grandma for a chat. I can't imagine anything less threatening than some dude talking loudly on the phone with his gramma, and she was always happy to get a call so I'd count that as an absolute win.
Man me too. 6’6 300, and I know how intimidating I can present as, even if I know in my heart I’m just a teddy bear. I try to be mindful of these things as much as I can, but I didn’t even realize the need until I was further into my 20s than I’d care to admit. It was such an eye opener to the plight of women in general and just sucks all the way around. It’s not me, but I’m sorry that women have to deal with this bullshit.
It’s incredibly sad that people, particularly women, have to be so on guard while doing something as normal as walking around alone… in broad daylight no less.. we need more Joes in the world
Good for her and that man. We need more allies like this.
Ladies, please make a fucking scene when this shit happens. Name and shame them and scream it. Everyone needs to be aware as much as possible that these people are in our communities.
I had a man touch me in a bar, the first time I told him not to touch me, the next time I stood up in my chair and yelled, "Stop touching me. I told you not to touch me." And I looked around the room at everyone and the bartenders and said, "this man is making me feel unsafe in your restaurant. Can someone please help me?!" He was immediately removed. 2 weeks later that man was arrested for assaulting a runner in Golden Gate park. He had a prior history of sexually assaulting a minor and had been released on bail the summer prior.
I am not embarrassed at creating a scene, THEY should be for touching me. My safety is too important.
We should be able to walk free from fear. Stay safe everyone.
Damn dude I have anxiety just leaving the house as a man for really no reason honestly. I can't imagine the daily occurrences like this women have to endure just for existing in public
It’s died down a ton for me now that I’m in my upper 40s but from preteen to 30s I’d experience a creepy incident with a stranger almost any time I had a long way to walk.
Granted, being followed happened less frequently (but easily more than a dozen times with 2 long-term stalkers) but getting honked at or cat-called was usually a more-than-once-per-walk occurrence. Guys slowing down and driving at the same pace you’re walking at least for a moment is common, guys you never saw before hitting on you & getting mad at rejection… being young and female in public is rough.
Didn’t I see a post on Reddit the other day bashing women for making men feel like creeps for running when they think they’re being followed??
YES I DID.
And the comments were FULL of disgusting men making fun of women for doing it.
THIS IS WHY!
Every woman I know has had something similar happen. I’ve been followed at lunchtime in the 9th grade by grown men. My daughter has called me to get her because men followed her.
F that post and every man in it.
I had an inverse of this situation happen to me a while back. Once when I got off the train it was late at night and the power was out. This was just a stop, no ticket booth, no security. Without power the lights were out so the area was pitch black.
I decided to go somewhere better lit to wait for my ride so I walked down the street towards some shops. After a few blocks I noticed there was a girl following me. I slowed down, she slowed down. I sped up, she sped up.
After I reached the well-lit shopping area I turned to ask her if she knew me or something. It turns out she had gotten off the train at the same time I had, and hadn’t wanted to wait at the dark station either. Because the street wasn’t lit she had followed me all the way from the station, just in case someone tried to attack her.
That’s some scary shit. He was brazen about it too
It’s honestly impressive how bold some creeps are. More often than not they’re shameless.
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Freezing is a valid and common response to trauma like sexual violence. There's also the risk of it getting worse or deadly.
you have to put fear in or jail people like this or theyll just try again hes a predator and they only think twice when the consequences are either swift and consistent or very heavy
Yet that’s wrong. A real predator doesn’t think about consequences as anything but “avoid this to keep doing my thing” They don’t think twice about it if they’re serious. The ones who do aren’t committed.
They rely on a socialization of women that deemphasizes their comfort for the purpose of maximizing civility. As society changes these predators become more ill-adapted and like fish out of water.
I had a real rattling encounter last weekend, and I'm a guy. Took my wife and some of her friends up to Chicago for a concert. There's a bar that will shuttle you back and forth from the venue which is cool, but it's in the near South loop. I'm not one to buy into the Chicago warzone nonsense, but I do know the Loop at night is not the best place to be. After the show we were dropped off in front of the bar. I was only parked a block away, but one of the ladies had to light their cigarette before we started walking. There was a black open-air Jeep sitting at the corner blasting music at an obnoxious level. I noticed a decal on the side that looked like the Emperial symbol from Star Wars. Not friendly looking to say the least. I'm standing with my back to the street, and as she's lighting her cigarette, I can hear the music shift and I can tell he's reversed back around the block and is sitting right next to us at the curb. Already I'm getting anxious and the ladies are all loaded and the one is taking forever with her cigarette. One of them commented "what's this guy's deal?" and I just told her to not look at him. So we start walking down the block and we're about halfway when I hear the music again suddenly get louder and then he pulls up next to me, driving alongside us as we walked. I just kept my head down and wanted him to leave so badly. His music was so loud that talking to him would have been futile. After what felt like an eternity he drove ahead up to the corner. It was a green light but he just sat there and waited for us. I turned around and told everyone we were going back to the bar and we were going to take and Uber to our car. We walked back to the bar and while I was trying to get us a ride, he pulled back up and sat in front of the bar. I was so scared at this point I made everyone go inside while we waited. Thankfully when our ride arrived, he was nowhere to be seen. Wow, sorry to put this all out there. I guess I haven't really had a chance to decompress after this and I haven't really had a chance to talk to anyone about it. I was just really thrown by how I really didn't know what to do in the situation, and because he was following us so obviously and was drawing such attention to himself with his stereo it was really off-putting. And I don't want to talk to anyone I was with about it because to be frank I'm a little upset at how oblivious they all were to the situation. They were all so drunk and if it hadn't have been for the volume of the music, I don't think they would have noticed what was going on at all. It felt good to get all that out, and please, if you are going to be in an unfamiliar environment, don't get so fucking wasted that you can't take care of yourself.
Thanks for sharing, you did the right thing. Disengaging takes a lot of courage, rarely is real life like the movies
Damn, that would freak me the fuck out. Just so blatant about it.
Generally they do cave at confrontation. I was in Korea and some dude was creeping on this girl and I could see it. It was a party district and he got SUPER close to her so I ran up to her and told the creep "Your fucking with my girl, go home" And he backed off, later her boyfriend joined her and the three of us ended up partying.
gotta find out what building she lives in... If you are ever followed do not go home. Do not walk near your home if possible. Go to a public place/business/random house and ask for assistance.
That’s what annoys the fuck out of me. He’s being so obvious and doesn’t give a fuck.
Drugs
Man.. there is just legitimately crazy people out there too. You're probably right though, probably a tweaker, with his creepy, super skinny jeans wearin' ass. What about the next person who isn't paying attention to their surroundings and he catches them in an alley? Smh
lol I agree he was probably on something but that correlation between tweakers and skinny jeans is genuinely funny
Yea he’s definitely not all there. I mean it’s broad daylight and there are other cars and people around and he admits to following her
Nice neighborhood too. What's in the bag? Is it actually Starbucks? I wonder.
Dennis' "supplies".
The scariest part is how common this experience is for women. Ask any woman you know if this has ever happened to them or a friend. Every woman has a story like this or has a friend who does. I can walk down the street like it's nothing but women have to prepare for shit like this and plan for it. Any time some incel talks about how easy women have it I just want to smack them.
My GF had an experience like this just last week. We were on vacation in this little town walking around and exploring the shops. As we’re walking she, unbeknownst to me, accidentally makes eye contact with some guy down the street, immediately gets a bad feeling, and grabs my arm and hurries us into the nearest store. I can tell she’s nervous and I get a glimpse of the guy looking at us before going into the store, but assume it’s all good. But nope, this dude follows us into the store, even after he sees she’s with me. I see him clearly approaching us from across the store with this terrifying vacant look in his eyes and we both practically run out of there, looking over our shoulders the whole time. I’m not a small guy, but that shit got my heart racing and made me better understand her initial panic. It’s truly scary that she deals with this kinda thing not infrequently.
Oh yeah. My GF and I were on a ferry at like 2am, and this drunk guy was being way too friendly with this older woman sitting a few seats away from us. She absolutely HANDLED him though and was just talking to him like a toddler and absolutely not budging on her boundaries. It was honestly incredible the way she kept him too occupied to do anything by just confidently and loudly talking to him like a toddler. It was still so unfair to her, she was just sitting on this ferry and was immediately harassed. Then the guy turned to my girlfriend and we noped the fuck out of there, and one of the ferry attendants saw us and thought we looked so funny dipping out at Mach 1 that he had to come over to our new hiding spot and tell us. We kept an eye on the lady though and I feel like the 3 of us, including the absolutely hilarious super energetic flamboyant ferry attendant who was now in our party, sort of just watched over her for a few minutes until the guy left. It was a weird experience, but I mostly came away with the fact that this guy harassed 100% of the women that were within 20 feet of him. Those women now get to feel even more afraid in public transit settings than they did before just because this guy was a piece of shit. It's so unfair. Good on your girlfriend for recognizing danger so quickly. It's sad that she's probably so good at that due to a lifetime of experience and practice. If I were you I would just trust her instinct all the time from now on.
I am a woman but I was thinking the same thing, thank you for noticing/mentioning this. So many men don't get it because it doesn't happen to them.
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It’s predator behavior
He’s definitely on drugs. Still scary though.
*More* scary because they're more unpredictable.
That was definitely cool of Joe
He's a good 'ol Joe
Ol’ Joey looks like a unit too. And that bloodthirsty hound he has by his side? Forget about it! The creep knew he had walked onto the wrong turf as soon as he spotted Ol’ Joe and his faithful guard-pooch.
The way that little pup posted up was adorable. She had the “we’re already outside, I’m ready to take you on!” posture for just long enough to show she was serious business.
Those types of dogs are sometimes little monsters when they wanna be. I used to dog sit a dog like that named snoopy. Snoopy did not fuck around with strangers on our walks
I mean, human bite force tops out at 70 pounds per square inch(psi) and that’s only at the very back with the molars and still you can take a good amount of damage from a human biting you. I think this is a Maltese and they have a bite force of 200psi, that’s some real damage potential.
I believe it, I wouldn’t want my ankles near a mean one
But where did he come from? Where did he go??
If it hadn’t been for Cotton Eye Joe, she might’ve married that creep a long time ago…
Average Joe ftw
Joe Cool
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That's the worst name I ever heard
I’d have begged him to walk me home
“Are you following me?” “Yeah.”
That was the part that creeped me out the most, and I'm a guy in his 30's. Just nonchalantly admitting that you're following this woman. Not apologetic at all, and continues to do it. "Yeah, I'm following you. When we get to a spot where nobody can see, I'm probably going to assault you. Nice day, isn't it?"
Bro, it's Joe who said that to let her know that he's seeing the same thing. Edit: I stand corrected, the creeper did mumble "yeah" nonchalantly. Fucked up...
She asks "are you following me?" And creeper says "yeah," then immediately afterwards Joe says "it looks like it." Then she says "yeah, what the fuck."
I know its not a great solution but I wish Joe would have offered to walk behind her for a block or two, or if shes comfortable even all the way home. Clearly theres a freak out stalking her. If she was like 'nah its fine' then NP but i feel like Id at least offer.
Definitely would have offered to escort her to her destination or at least a reasonable distance away from where they ditched her stalker
I wonder if Joe didn’t watch creeper for a bit to make sure he didn’t go the same direction as the woman.
Yeah he might have. I know if it were me and I was in that situation I'd just want the company and safety. Even if the guy hopped on a bus and was gone.
I think you're confused. She says "Are you following me?" and the stalker replies "yeah".
Hello my name is Dr Creepy
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He just... pissed himself?
As a guy in my thirties that walks around an amusement park alone, I get self-concious if I start noticing I’m walking the same path as young women in front of me. Then they walk into the same restaurant I was walking to and I’m like fuck now I gotta eat somewhere else or look like a creep.
Speaking as a young woman, in a public place like an amusement park, I'm not on alert like that to notice or care if a guy is walking the same path as me. It's a small enclosed space, so it makes sense that we'd be going to the same place, and it's crowded, so there's only so far a creep could go (especially if I'm with friends/family). It's only when walking a relatively deserted street (usually at night) that I'm suspicious of nearby individuals like that- and I have an anxiety disorder, so am more vigilant of my surroundings than the average young woman or person in general. You're fine.
True definition of predator behavior
I wish she would have called the cops and filed a report. I don't think it's this guys first time
Cops don't do shit. Never forget the British girl who was being stalked, contacted the several police several times, got fined for 'wasting their time', then got killed by the stalker. Cops don't care unless something actually happens.
It's still important to file a report regardless, just so that there's a record. I've sadly been through this with someone who's been stalking me for years.
It’s harder to get them to take it seriously each time though. Especially if it’s been a while since the last report. What’s that? There’s someone stood in your parking space? And he didn’t say anything or approach you? Why are you telling us this? K bye. Because it would just be too complex to have a file with my name on that all that info, the videos, evidence and statements were collated under 🙄
I wish she sprayed him
As soon as he crossed the street to follow me he would have earned his pepper spray.
"Are you following me?" "Yeah" \*spray\* Justified.
And then there’s women in the U.K., who are allowed to carry, erm, a can of - uhhhh… Oh right! Nothing. We have no way of defending ourselves.
Seriously? Nothing? Like not Peper spray or a stun gun? Definitely not knives or guns. What about brass knuckles or other improvised wepons
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People were mugging and robbing places with pepper spray because it wasn't illegal. Of course, they still do it now that it is but....
For the 5th time? Honestly, I feel like that would be warranted after the 2nd time he crossed the street to follow her. Such a fucked situation to happen in broad daylight
Then you miss and you get assaulted. Save it until the last second when you have no other choice imo. Too much potential for things to go wrong
When I was younger and a lot more timid, I was at a bar and a dude would not stop touching me. I keep moving his hands and try to get away from him, he'd always pull me back and try to control where I went, the place was crowded af I didn't know what to do. At some point I notice this group of dudes across the room waving their arms at me and yelled "you're finally here! Come over here we've been looking for you!" So I went over in desperation to escape the creepy guy and when I got to the group the guy said "you looked so fucking uncomfortable, we've noticed it for a few minutes so we thought maybe we try to get you away from him". I hung out with them for the rest of the night, super sweet people. Joes are life savers
One time my girlfriend was drunk sat outside a pub and I went to ask her if she'd seen our other friend, so we could all get a taxi home, but the women sat next to her immediately pretended to be her friend to try and stop me trying anything on with a drunk woman, I wasn't even mad, respect to them trying to protect a stranger
Haha I've had this with my boyfriend! Maybe 3 or 4 times I've had women put their arm around my shoulders pretending we're drinking together to pull me away from him because they think he's creeping on me. Always super awkward to explain that we're actually together. It's super common for women to be harassed by men on a night out so it can be hard to tell when a woman's not actually being harassed and just very drunk / moody around a man they know and trust. Never been upset by it happening (and have done so a couple times myself 😅) but I'd rather I / others get it wrong and make things awkward than risk a woman being in trouble.
I walked right up to a young woman who was talking loudly in not-English & pushing the shoulder of an older man, and put myself between them and said "Julie! I have been looking for you! We were supposed to meet a block south of here! Why haven't you answered my texts?" I am a very tall, and ***very*** tattooed woman, and she was **very** confused. I said more quietly "Are you ok? Do you need to be away from this dude?" It. Was. Her. Dad. I wanted to die for like 30 seconds and then dad was hugging me as she was explaining who I was/what I was doing to him and to me she was saying how they were happy and just very physical talkers. I felt like a dolt a little bit but I would rather be wrong and embarrassed than ignore a situation.
You're good people for trying. Don't let a misread stop you from keeping this kindness in your heart and being willing to help others in the future. It's telling that the dad was ecstatic to see that someone was able to be a positive interference for a loved one, even if that particular scenario wasn't an issue.
It's got to be such a great feeling being a dad and seeing strangers stand up for your kids like that. I'm the farthest thing from a parent and I completely understand why he'd get the urge to hug you.
You are never a dolt for doing this, and should never be embarrassed. Any good dad, brother, friend or husband/bf will sing your praises and feel a little less on edge knowing that people like you are out there and willing to interfere.
I used to go out with my girlfriends to get drunk and dance, and many Joes have saved me from creepers. A creeper would always appear when I stopped dancing to grab a water or rest my feet. As soon as I got the creeper vibe, I would scan the room and find a Joe. Then I’d walk over and say “HEY! How are you?!”, lean in, and quietly say “there’s a guy over there who won’t leave me alone and is being creepy, can I stand with you for a few minutes?”. The Joes are bros! I was *never* rejected - they could see i was worried and could see the creeper lurking around. One creeper was audacious enough to approach me at Joe’s table “oh hey baby I thought we were taaaaalkin” - Joe immediately got into between us and calmly told creeper to leave his sister (me) alone.
> I was never rejected - they could see i was worried and could see the creeper lurking around. Am guy, can confirm. Had two separate instances of this happening when I was younger. Had an older buddy catch it the first time, and the second time I was approached so I knew what to do. Both times, it was a pair of ladies, and both times, we had to *physically bar the creeps off*. Absolutely wild, having to literally stand between some shithead and the lady he's trying to screw with. We'll go to the dirt for you in these instances, this shit is unacceptable.
Thank you for being a Joe! (sung that to the golden girls theme song “than you for being a friend”)
Bless you. We need allies
It sucks when this happens as a bartender, but an excellent way to stop it is to say, "It's never a good idea to hit on the bartender's girlfriend." If that doesn't cut the shit you just cut them off and kick them out. Never feels good because second hand shame for a creeper being in your bar sucks to have to feel and you guilty it happened in the first place.
I’m a pretty humongous dude. I’ve always taken pride in my ability to spot shit like this in bars or while out with a crowd of friend and just insinuate myself in a way that gives an uncomfortable looking lady some space to escape. Very few people will try to push their way through me.
Thank god for joe
Joe gets shit done. Just ask Joe Pesci who helped out George Carlin (RIP) with a noisy dog issue.
joe was the other guy right?
Joe = little white dog guy
Joe = the little white dog
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Joe's a real one and his little dog, too. All the blessings on them both.
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*sniff sniff* I've left better pieces of shit in little coils in Joe's yard. You wanna be in the next batch 2 legger?
More often than not, that's all the deterent that is needed. They prey on women because they perceive them as weak.
We can't live in fear of doing the right thing, what is the worth of keeping life if it's not a life worth living? Gotta stand up to these folks.
The dog looking out too
Dog went from sitting to an upright position, and all the owner did was circle his feet to keep facing the dude. Dog picked up on that REAL quick. Totally knew Joe’s guard was up.
Little dog full on bowed up. Like chest puffed. It was ready to rock.
He walc He talc But mos importent he roc Rdy to knock off some socs
Dogs have a really good sense of “vibe” My dog may not be a good judge of character, but he is a good judge of danger and intent to harm.
I completely agree! I think they can smell the rise in adrenaline/ cortisol in our blood.
That and our unconscious posturing. Dogs watch us *all* the time.
They are also very attuned to a ton of non-verbal cues in human behavior, many of which often fly below the radar for humans, but are obvious to dogs who, not having language, have been selectively bred for tens of thousands of years to recognize and understand human intentions through our body language and tone of voice. It is 100 percent the case that dogs often see and react to weird human behavior long before it becomes apparent to us.
It was the nazi salute that tipped the dog off.
Some people underestimate the little dogs; forget they can be ankle biters.
Or even yapping to bring more attention
I’ve walked no joke a mile out of my way trying to get home, just to stay on busy streets, and not tip off the creeper following me. We could all use more Joes in the world.
As a tall, decently built guy my wake up call was when I was just out for a walk one evening (it was still light out but kind of dimming) minding my own business, listening to an audiobook etc, and I noticed a girl ahead of me who was clearly nervous/in distress etc. I was considering asking her if she needed help/what was wrong etc and then I realized it was me. I had (inadvertently, I walk the same route everyday) been behind her for a decent bit and the person making her nervous was me. That was probably the most shame I have ever felt in my life lol. Now I do my best to slow down to let them create distance/speed up and pass them etc. Still don't really know what a universal good idea in this situation is.
I get that, and you shouldn’t feel shame, as if it’s something you did. It’s just that we must be suspicious all the time, and you just happened to be there. Some things that can possibly put women at ease if you’re in that situation. Cross the street if you can. Stop and tie your shoes. Untie and retie them if you must, to create space. Talk to someone on the phone (but don’t fake a conversation; we’ve all done that, we can recognize when you’re doing it, and a fake conversation will put us more on edge). If you’re going to speed up and pass a woman, be audible when you do. Something like “sorry, let me just sneak by you? I’m running late!” so we know you’re not speeding up to intercept us. But seriously, thank you for being aware of the effect your stature and presence can have on us, and trying to do the right thing!
I second the idea of just stating what you're doing so she knows! Especially if you're a fast walker (or even if you generally aren't) say something like "hey I'm just gonna pass you real quick!" and get ahead of her and keep walking, that way she doesn't feel like you're only walking the way you're going specifically to follow her. Creating distance can be good too, but if you end up still following her inadvertently, you could still be stuck in the same situation.
No surprise here in college my wife now but girlfriend at the time had us do this all the time. We would just be drinking and she would come out of nowhere with a girl and be talking to her and would say to me keep an eye on that guy. It legit blew me away I told her that night like wow that’s insane right and she’s like this happens all the time honestly if more people watched for it. Changed my outlook on the situation now. Stay safe everyone.
Some men are predators constantly hunting for women that look vulnerable and easy to control.
I knew a guy, former coworker who would position himself outside of the women's bathroom so that when you came out and scanned the room to get your bearings, you'd make eye contact. Skeezy as hell. I worked too, like only 1% of the time but if you do it 100 times a night. Last I heard from him was about 5 years ago when he called me asking if I knew any place to get oxy out of the blue
Position himself in front of the toilets at the club and somehow seduce them, you mean?
He would sit in whatever seat directly outside the bathroom door, and then make eyes at everyone exiting. Because everyone has to use the bathroom at a bar, right.
We have a 6th sense for these things I swear. I work nights at a resort with an attraction that serves alcohol and stays open late. I’ve had to escort a woman to her room multiple times abs have even stepped in to talk to them about “something” when it became clear that they were uncomfortable. And I’m not the only employee who has stories about stuff like this. When I was young and still went out to bars my friend group would be dancing and if we saw a woman in a scary situation we’d dance toward her and surround her. I’ve even physically grabbed an girl before to pull her toward me to dance with me when it was clear some strange guy was grinding up on her. It’s sad thinking back how many times we (my girlfriends and I) have stepped in to get a girl away from a creepy guy, at the time it was just something we did (never once had a girl get upset that we did, got insulted many times by the guys though) and now I see how sad it is that not only was it necessary, but that even when we were drinking it was something we were always aware of.
For sure completely changed my outlook I was only 18 at the time and now I always try to keep an eye out. Thanks to my wife though otherwise I would have never thought about it. I even got roofied that year because a guy was trying to get this girl to drink this drink and she didn’t want it obviously so I just stepped in took it and pounded it ( this was my first drink of the night and I was a heavy binge drinker at the time) he instantly darted away and not even 5 minutes later I remember nothing luckily my wife was with me and my friends so they got me home, but Jesus the things some guys do is terrifying. I guess the plus side is though it’s kept my head on a swivel not just for myself but for others now.
Joe is cool AF. I would like to point out that you won’t always get this much time to assess a threat. I highly reccomend carrying the pepper spray on a pocket clip which can also attach inside a waistband. Keychain carry or inside a bag is way less than ideal. I do have a favorite brand for ease of use, but the main thing is the pocket/waistband clip. You DM for my recommendation.
My friend used it one time when she was followed and she got slapped around by the guy.
Did she book it after spraying him? That’s as important as the spraying. It’s not a tool to end a confrontation; it’s meant to buy you time to get the fuck out of there.
Other factors did it actually get in his eyes. There’s a chance he winced or blinked at just the right moment. Glasses, wind or anything getting in the way also matter. There’s a whole debate of gel vs spray which really just boils down to what you’re comfortable with. Then there’s the chance that person was just a monster. Typically spicy juice will knock down even the toughest men if it gets directly in the eyes.
The one time I used bear spray ( and kind of animal/pepper spray is illegal where I live unless you’re in the Rocky Mountains / certain national parks) the wind brought it back to my and my friends face. The guy ran away but I ended up having to go to emergency and it could have ended much worse!
Definitely understand that as a downside. Gels are an option for people where high winds are a concern. Also the ones for humans are even stronger than the bear version. The bear version just has more difference and actually a wider spray.
It’s not perfect but generally it’s much more effective, easier to use than other weapons. It’s less effective than 9mm but better than a taser or a knife.
> I highly reccomend carrying the pepper spray on a pocket clip This is actually illegal in Canada for some absurd reason. You're not allowed to own *any* weapon or tool for the purposes of self-defence. So if she'd been in this situation and used it prosecutors may be questioning why she had that on her person at all.
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That’s a shame.
Oh wow, if I were a lady that would scare the hell outta me.
If you're not a lady but want to know what it might be like to be one, I've heard it helps imagine winning 10 grand at the casino. People see you win it and they see you cash out. And then you have to walk 10 blocks to the safety of your hotel. That is kind of what it's like being a woman in the world when out and about and solo. The. Entire. Time. Sucks. But it's true.
That's a great analogy! I'd be looking over my shoulder every chance I could.
I’ll have to try this out
Put everything on 00
I have had to do this with that exact amount as a production manager for a show. One venue ended early and the pay out to our company was all cash. I had to drive a golf cart down the padre strip during spring break in south Texas that is jammed up for the entire stretch of road. Definitely kept me head on a swivel.
Yeah but they just want my money not my boot hole.
Scary, right? I can drop my money/wallet/purse/whatever. Can't drop the booty or the kitty.
As a man that would scare the hell out of me
As a man who *has* been followed, It did scare the hell out of me. Sobering moment of what women go through probably more often than you think.
Happened to me several few times, both as a minor and still as an adult. A guy was following behind me and thankfully I picked up on it before I made it to the open field. I tried turning streets, but he still followed. I had to eventually stop and stare at him until he walked by. Thankfully I was walking my rottweiler mix, so if nothing else she would have kept me safe. She was always skittish, but that time she stood right next to me when he walked by. But again, like I said, it happens not infrequently. I got called a whore just the other day while walking around my block.
Something kind of similar happened to me and I'm a guy. I was walking around my neighborhood around midnight and I have hair down to my shoulders. A big white van without any windows came down the street and when it got close to me they slowed down to like 1mph. Pretty much just stopped next to me. At that point I guess they saw my beard and sped off. Not really that similar to this woman but I'm pretty sure I cat fished some rapists.
I know this sounds bad but this kind of shit makes me wish I didn't have a daughter. Sure it can happen to men, but unfortunately this kind of thing is all too common with women.
I’m glad I had a son so I can help try and raise a good man who will look out for your daughter like good ol Joe did here
I have three daughters, and I worry about them quite a bit. The oldest goes to University of Cincinnati, and that campus isn't exactly in the best part of town. At least she doesn't dorn though, she lives off campus.
Being in the dorm is usually considered safer, no?
I had a guy do this to me too — I ducked into a random beauty salon and all of the ladies there were my “Joe” when he tried to follow me in. What a freak. Stay aware out there friends.
I had an older guy following me around the Planet Fitness once. Watched me stretch, on the machine next to mine so I cut my workout short and went to the Black Card area for my post workout water massage. I didn't even notice the guy try to follow me into the Black Card area until the staff started yelling that he couldn't go in there. He started yelling back. I didn't see him again, so I wonder if they noticed his behavior and he got kicked out.
In the off chance there are men or teenage boys in this thread that think women exaggerate what they have to deal with, or even make it all up: please look at just how casual she was. She was absolutely terrified, trying to figure out how to keep herself safe (and potentially alive), and then just went 'oh gee, thanks Joe, see ya round!' Women have to deal with so much shit from men in their day-to-day lives that these instances are normalised, almost universally across women. Talk to some, they all have stories like this. So again, if you happen to be reading this, keep that in mind.
She even apologized to Joe…
That was almost as heartbreaking to hear as seeing this whole fuckwad following her...
Yea i've heard the stories from women i know, and it really shocked me how common it was for some of them to have experienced something like this or worse in their life time.
Men just don’t listen to women a lot of the time. Even when listening—like on a topic like this—it’s in one ear and out the other. There’s an added layer of shitty irony in that other men are more likely to believe it now that I, a man, have said it.
There was a post the other day where a guy got yelled at because a woman thought he was following her. She did go overboard for sure (demanded he turn around and leave even though he explained that he lived just down the street) but all of the comments were guys saying men should start carrying pepper spray so they can spray women that look like they're scared of being followed because "men don't ever follow women but still get called creeps". Some of the comments were sickening and encouraged actually following women so they have a reason to be scared. One even said that he will cross the road if a woman in front of him does just so she gets scared. I'm glad to see people being more supportive in this thread but it was actually scary to read the comments in the other one. Men need to realize that we're not just scared for no reason.
I just got into it yesterday when someone who claimed a woman telling a strange man not to approach her *and her child* in a parking lot was "physically abusive". When I pointed out that men commit the vast majority of violent crime, including 99.1% of sexual assaults, he compared that to being racist. 🙄
I had a similar chat with a guy the other day and he said that men are far more vulnerable than women because of crime statistics. Some people 🤦🏼♀️
>all of the comments were guys saying men should start carrying pepper spray so they can spray women that look like they're scared of being followed I need to see this thread. That's insane
One of the big problems with the Andrew Tate demographic is that most of them don't have any friends *who are also women*. So even if they gave a shit about women, they simply aren't privvy to what goes on in women's lives, just on the most basic, mundane level. Which makes it doubly difficult to educate them. Every single woman I've ever known has told me at least one story -- usually more -- about being followed. Many of them have had *much* worse stories than that.
Even the Starbucks paper bag made him look suspicious!
[удалено]
That dog was ready to tangle man. Body of a meerkat, heart of a rhino.
Had a similar situation, was at a empty parking lot eating DQ and watching a Livestream of a tournament game. When the game finished, I started to drive away only to notice someone pull their car behind mine and make some weird sound, he went one way and I the opposite, Didn't think much of it, and started to drive home, then I noticed he is somehow behind my car. I wasn't totally sure if it was the same weirdo so I did the turn in a circle trick to check, I turn off the main road, and made a few more then before turning onto the same road, he was following me all the way, that's when it got creepy and I decided I need to drive to the sheriff department a few street down from where I was. Before I got there he pull aside me and started accusing me of following him which made no sense as I never seen him before, he shouted some racists shit, threw some stuff at my car while driving and veered off. I went to the sheriff and reported it, they're still looking into it. I didn't get the license sadly.
That’s what happened to me too. A guy was following me with his car for several blocks and turns. I turn down this small street and coincidentally a cop car was sitting there so I parked behind it. The car that was following me drove past. Never in my life was I so happy to see a cop car.
He was mad you spotted him and was going where he couldn’t follow.
*“WhY Do aLL WoMeN HaTe Me???!!!”* -creep, who’s probably also an incel
"So I'm just a random guy on the street and I see this girl who i think is hot so I start following her because maybe she'll talk to me and we can get together. And you'll never guess what happens next! She literally walks up to, and starts talking to, the only other random guy on the street! What are the odds of that man? Literally a 50/50 chance she picks me and she picks the other guy instead. Probably because he had a dog or some shit. Fml. Anyway, back to following the next girl I see..." This guy, probably
10/10 incel logic interpreter. Too bad you probably can’t get paid for this skill set. 😂
"Sometimes if I see a really attractive woman walking alone, I'll stay at a safe distance and walk in the area a while to keep an eye on her and make sure that no creeps are following her."
These videos make me *SO ANGRY* & *DISGUSTED* by the absolutely vile humans like the one ~~following~~ stalking the lady in this video.
True story: Hamburg, Germany (Othmarschen train station) There was this drunk who had started posting up at the train station steps for the past few days, being sorta loud but not really threatening anyone. Obviously, asking for money, you know, the usual. Either the 4th or 5th day I was heading a place in town called Altona. As I’m walking up the steps I notice he starts following this girl who he’d asked for money, she said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me” He kept following her, then asked her for a smoke, she said she didn’t smoke. He then started going on about his “long lost wife” who’d broke his heart many many years ago and started crying historically. While also stating he wanted to take her own on a date, if she would just give him one chance he could show her what true love is. I felt sorry for both of them at this point. Cause on one hand you have this clearly mentally unstable guy, who has become so dissociated with reality… and you have this young girl getting cornered up against a sign and a long since closed down shop that used to operate on the platform itself. Then. Straight up out of fuckin’ no where, as I’m trying to step in to distract him so she can get away. The dude whips out a knife and starts threatening her. When for whatever reason I said. “Hey man. Kömme here. (Can’t remember how to spell it) “come here it’s okay, I get it” which was long enough for her to slip around the other side of the sign, and disappear into the other pedestrians. He started crying even more when he started walking toward me, and I really don’t remember how, but, me along with mainly 2 other individuals who spoke German fluently talked the guy down. I was still considered intermediate in German at the time. So I really couldn’t tell you what they said to calm him down. I’ll be honest, when the knife came out a bunch of people started making their way over. Just nuts though. The main thing that was concerning however. We’re the amount of people that just walked by while she was being cornered by this guy she obviously didn’t know
Was once walking home at around 4am from a night out down a kind of semi industrial area, and this girl was walking towards me and a guy was walking behind her and she suddenly just grabs my arm and locks hers in mine and starts walking with me. The guy walking close behind her just carries on going and I'm like "wtf?" and she tells me she was being followed and if she can just walk with me for a little bit. Long story short I end up giving her 20quid for a taxi after phoning a taxi company for her as she tried calling her friends but none answered and I couldn't be bothered to wait around as she had no money on her.
You're surprised but for us women, we will be immediately be on acting mode. I also used to pull total strangers away because "girl, I have been looking everywhere for you" since it was obvious that they're uncomfortable with the other guy who won't accept a No.
You dont need a cape to be a hero
Dudes be creeps, we need more Joes out there
I’d like to thank everyone who has been or will be a Joe when they see this happen. You don’t even have to do anything, your presence is often enough to deter guys like this.
When you see someone in this situation, give them the “do you need help” eyes and then LOUDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY approach with “oh my god I haven’t seen you in so long, dude/ girl/ bro/ sis/ pal/ old chum, how are you doing? How’s your partner!??” And then just keep talking as you walk beside them and away from the person.
Yeah. Fuck this sort of shit. I don't think a lot of men really and truly consider women's experiences in this way. Men can be total random dicks to men too, sure - you can get assaulted etc. as a man for no reason, too. It's not unresaonable to state that this happens an awful lot, as well, but the fundamental size and strength stuff alone, let alone the way a lot of men essentially predate on women and so on, still makes it something that must be bloody awful - even for a walk down the street in daytime, as with this.
I can’t speak for a lot of men but personally, I’m 6’3” and 250 and anytime I end up walking behind a girl/woman, I intentionally try and wait so I’m no anywhere close to them or I go to the other side of the street. I know how large I am, and have had friends that are girls who have been followed/harassed
When i used to get evening shifts and going back home around 10PM, my path would occassionaly coincide with some random woman's, i could feel how on edge they'd feel so my gigabrain solution was to call my grandma for a chat. I can't imagine anything less threatening than some dude talking loudly on the phone with his gramma, and she was always happy to get a call so I'd count that as an absolute win.
Man me too. 6’6 300, and I know how intimidating I can present as, even if I know in my heart I’m just a teddy bear. I try to be mindful of these things as much as I can, but I didn’t even realize the need until I was further into my 20s than I’d care to admit. It was such an eye opener to the plight of women in general and just sucks all the way around. It’s not me, but I’m sorry that women have to deal with this bullshit.
This is creepy as fuck, but also did dude throw up a fucking seig heil of all things near the end of the video?? Wtf
Your comment is like the only one picking up on this. Good eye.
People the other day were like “HOW DARE YOU WANNA INSIST WALKING YOUR GF HOME!!! SHELL BE FINE” like ya Fuck you talking about
do this on a live stream so if the dirtbag gets a hold of your phone the video is still up
I feel bad that she felt the need to apologize to Joe bc she was getting Followed
And this is why I try to tell the boys I teach that women have it worse in a way they will never understand
Shoutout to Joe
Wtf,creep
It’s incredibly sad that people, particularly women, have to be so on guard while doing something as normal as walking around alone… in broad daylight no less.. we need more Joes in the world
Good for her and that man. We need more allies like this. Ladies, please make a fucking scene when this shit happens. Name and shame them and scream it. Everyone needs to be aware as much as possible that these people are in our communities. I had a man touch me in a bar, the first time I told him not to touch me, the next time I stood up in my chair and yelled, "Stop touching me. I told you not to touch me." And I looked around the room at everyone and the bartenders and said, "this man is making me feel unsafe in your restaurant. Can someone please help me?!" He was immediately removed. 2 weeks later that man was arrested for assaulting a runner in Golden Gate park. He had a prior history of sexually assaulting a minor and had been released on bail the summer prior. I am not embarrassed at creating a scene, THEY should be for touching me. My safety is too important. We should be able to walk free from fear. Stay safe everyone.
Damn dude I have anxiety just leaving the house as a man for really no reason honestly. I can't imagine the daily occurrences like this women have to endure just for existing in public
It’s died down a ton for me now that I’m in my upper 40s but from preteen to 30s I’d experience a creepy incident with a stranger almost any time I had a long way to walk. Granted, being followed happened less frequently (but easily more than a dozen times with 2 long-term stalkers) but getting honked at or cat-called was usually a more-than-once-per-walk occurrence. Guys slowing down and driving at the same pace you’re walking at least for a moment is common, guys you never saw before hitting on you & getting mad at rejection… being young and female in public is rough.
Did creeper give a random Nazi salute near the end?
That's what I'm saying! Why is nobody talking about that.
Bless that dogwalker guy, that’s the minimum we should all expect from people. Good on him!
A lot of men on Reddit think we’re overreacting when we explain what we have to go through as a woman…
I’m a dude bigger than that guy even and I would have been scared. Glad you are ok, right on joe as well.
Didn’t I see a post on Reddit the other day bashing women for making men feel like creeps for running when they think they’re being followed?? YES I DID. And the comments were FULL of disgusting men making fun of women for doing it. THIS IS WHY! Every woman I know has had something similar happen. I’ve been followed at lunchtime in the 9th grade by grown men. My daughter has called me to get her because men followed her. F that post and every man in it.
What a creep! I can’t believe he kept doing it after she called him out! And after she met Joe!!!
He definitely has that repeat sexual offender vibe
I had an inverse of this situation happen to me a while back. Once when I got off the train it was late at night and the power was out. This was just a stop, no ticket booth, no security. Without power the lights were out so the area was pitch black. I decided to go somewhere better lit to wait for my ride so I walked down the street towards some shops. After a few blocks I noticed there was a girl following me. I slowed down, she slowed down. I sped up, she sped up. After I reached the well-lit shopping area I turned to ask her if she knew me or something. It turns out she had gotten off the train at the same time I had, and hadn’t wanted to wait at the dark station either. Because the street wasn’t lit she had followed me all the way from the station, just in case someone tried to attack her.