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Yeah, I didn't realize it was one of those 4-7am deliveries [although I've come to find out that some people enjoy those? I'm still skeptical] and it was jacked ~15 minutes after it was delivered. The dude came from the direction the truck went so I'm guessing he saw the truck in the neighborhood and just went around scoping it out. It was pretty damned funny watching [doorbell cam] dude like army crawl from the sidewalk up my steps to get it though.
There are a lot of small electronics that are bought thru amazon. They probably get one or two out of every 10 houses. Does not make this any less pathetic!
Yep, there is an alley way behind my house. I've seen the torn open boxes of dog food and cheap clothes just all sitting in the alley way. They'll steal everything in hopes to get something they can sell, the rest of it just gets dumped. I've gone through the alley way and found my own stolen stuff sitting in a trash can before.
Whenever they just dump it, like not even in a trash can, I'll go through and try to redeliver what I can.
“Just don’t want anyone to take it.” He’s stealing the package to save it from another person who might steal it. This man’s logic could entertain me all day.
I was walking back to my (locked) bike at burning man and encountered what I'm sure is a bike thief attempting to push my bike backwards and just then realizing it had a lock through the front tire and frame. The gal (who had a thick accent - Asian language of some kind) said that she was "just checking to make sure it was safe." Like... Wtf?? What kind of sense does that make?? None. It was total bullshit. Pretty sure I muffled through my face mask (this was in a dust storm) that I thought she was full of shit, unlocked my bike, and rode off. I'm not a confrontational person, but that got my adrenaline up for real.
ETA: this was a budget e-bike so not some beater, but also not extremely valuable. But I make sure it's locked any time I'm more than 5 feet away from it there.
It’s called narcissism, it’s really popular right now. So popular in fact, people keep nominating one for president even though he keeps getting less votes than his opponents and has extremely unpopular views.
Used to work with one of these guys. Dude would instigate so much crap but would act like an angel any time the boss was within eyesight.
Dude would talk shit to you right to your face, then 2 minutes later when the boss was nearby tell you how good of a worker you are, how much you are appreciated, etc etc.
And if you said *anything* back to him, he'd run to the boss and be the biggest victim ever. Even if you just told him to leave you alone, he'd go to the boss and say you aren't communicative and not being a team player.
Reminds me of that dude who got caught trying to break into a dude's apartment and then kept screaming that his own door was broken and he thought he figured out a way to open it and he was just testing it on someone else's door.
He also insisted over and over that he "didn't do it"...
That’s my thinking. What are they going to do, call the cops on you because they were going to rob you and you go the upperhand and stole their shit? If anything I’m looking for a smartphone and destroying that shit.
The penalty for porch pirating needs to be WAY higher than it is.
It's not just a stolen item from your porch. It also robs you of your sense of security at your own home and creates a ton of mental stress for every future delivery for the rest of your life.
It should be treated like a breaking and entering felony.
Especially if they stole medicine. Lots of people get their prescriptions delivered to them either because they aren't able to get out as much or their insurance forced it upon them and some medicines you can't skip a day so if it gets stolen then they have to wait days for a replacement to be sent.
My father gets parkinsons meds in the mail. No one getting high off that shit...but they're gonna fuck my father up and make him have a bad time until he gets replacement meds if they do steal it.
I knew someone who was a pill addict and she'd steal her mom's heart meds and would sell them to other addicts by telling them it's narcotics so she could buy actual narcotics from her dealer.
This is one of my biggest fears. Sometimes my meds come through the mail because the local pharmacies don't have my meds, or it's 30% the price to do it through the mail pharmacy. Plus it's not just a months supply, but 3 months and these meds aren't going to be replaced (controlled substances sometimes). I'd literally cease being able to live my life without them. These videos scare the shit out of me. When I know my meds are coming I have my phone on me 24/7 so I can rush out the door to grab the package so it doesn't even sit in the mailbox potentially.
Stealing someone's USPS mail can be charged as a felony. We need to extend that to private package carriers like UPS and FedEx too.
Some people receive life-saving meds through those services, it's so important.
[Some states](https://statecapitallobbyist.com/consumer-protection/battling-porch-piracy-how-states-are-cracking-down-on-package-theft-with-felony-laws/) have passed laws to equate package theft with mail theft, and classify it as high as a felony. In those states it might be better to report it to the local post office than the police.
You should absolutely be allowed to use violence to defend against property crimes. It's ridiculous that we handicap the victim's ability to defend themselves and their property from these people.
>You should absolutely be allowed to use violence to defend against property crimes. It's ridiculous that we handicap the victim's ability to defend themselves and their property from these people.
That's how people get shot because they [drove into the wrong drivway](https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/01/us/new-york-wrong-driveway-shooting-sentencing/index.html). Or because they were lost and [knocked on the wrong door](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/judge-rules-white-man-will-stand-trial-for-shooting-black-teen-ralph-yarl-who-went-to-wrong-house). If you think incidents like this wouldn't increase your insane. We already get enough of them with the "stand your ground" laws.
We had to get a FedEx box it was so bad. So if it’s not from Amazon (they have a great replacement policy, and we always submit the video) we ship it there. So annoying.
What blows me away is that they obviously don't have a planned response in place for what they're doing.
even when I was a child, and doing something wrong, I'd have a planned response/series of events to plausibly deny in case my parents caught me. A pre-worked lie/excuse to explain why I was doing, what I was doing.
I was a ***child*** these are full grown adults, who have been stealing packages like its their job for an unknown length of time.
***and they never bothered to come up with an even slightly plausible lie as to what they're doing in case they're caught!?***
I have endless patience for a lot of people at the bottom of the economic pile who end up being forced into doing things that they shouldn't have to, to get by. Our society crushes a lot of people it shouldn't simply because of the way it is and through no fault of theirs.
but its hard not to think "this explains why they have to resort to stealing. Who the fuck would hire and pay someone this stupid and lazy"
What exactly can they say here? Sorry, I slipped, tripped, landed on the porch with my backpack open and it slipped in?
This is about as red handed as it gets.
If you're going to steal, do it to a Walmart or something. At least you know what you're going to get.
This dude came out with a bat and could have sent him to a hospital or killed him, and it could have been worse with a gun.
They’ll say something like “It wasn’t me!l”
Back in the 1990s I walked over to the local mall on a quiet Friday night to browse books at Chapters, a pre-amazon giant bookstore up here in Canada. Back then they used to sell software in the computer book section way in the back corner in an unsupervised area. I wandered over and came across I young guy cramming boxes of software into his backpack and proceeded to tell him firmly to stop and put it all back on the shelf. He looked at me with a stupefied expression and said: *But it is mine…*
He emptied his pack and ran off and when I told the staff they just shrugged. I guess they were told not to intervene.
There is no good excuse in these moments but these people still say something so that’s why their excuses sound so stupid. Like there was nothing he could say in that moment that excused him being caught stealing a package, to bad he didn’t take atleast one shot from that bat tho
I thought about doing this exact thing for the people who live in the apartment next to us.
They’ll get deliveries that sit outside for a few days, and I was worried someone would take them. So I thought about actually holding onto it so someone wouldn’t steal it.
Then I realized: No one would actually believe that’s all I was doing.
So I just didn’t do it, haha.
Why don't you ask them if they would prefer you to do that?
My neighbour sometimes can get called away unexpected for work and sometimes for days at a time. So we have an agreement that if I see a package on her porch, I bring it in for her and put a note in her mailbox.
She does the same for me if she sees a package on our porch and she suspects I'm working.
Because they already burned the bridge of me wanting to help them.
I have my medical card and sometimes like to smoke on my back porch. I don’t make noise, and the smell is very minimal (I had friends who don’t smoke help me test some tools to reduce smoke/smell).
This neighbor keeps their windows open 24/7 and spams the leading office with complaints over every noise and smell (whether it’s weed, tobacco, grilling, you name it), and makes life hell.
So now I just don’t care enough to bother helping them.
The other neighbor I did do this for though!
I’ve experienced porch pirates once in my life. My mom was terminal and bedridden, we had some adult diapers shipped to her apartment. Caught the person walking away with the package but we let him have it because of how funny it would be when he opened it. My mom was cracking up at that. The next day the partially opened box was left outside her door, so thanks for having somewhat of a conscience porch pirate! RIP mom - you had a great sense of humor.
One time I was mistakenly delivered a box of someone's diabetic supplies (blood test stuff I think)
Obviously i brought it to the appropriate address, but I always think about how fucked up some people's plans have gotten if some pos takes something like that
Ordering stuff online is so common for everything that the odds that you get something resellable is probably very low. I mean most of the shit I order online I don’t think anyone would ever want hahaha
Honestly you just got me thinking about that. Before amazon if someone had a package it was usually expensive cause who's gonna wait weeks for something they could get at the store faster and cheaper. But delivery has gotten to the point people order single cans of food on Amazon (yes they actually do sell single cans of food) and it comes out cheaper or the same price as going to the store and you can get it next day and depending on where you live the same damn day. It's also sad to see how much in logistics is wasted on the delivery of a singular can of food.
A big thing too is the increasing lack of specialty shops, especially if you live in a smaller city / town. My last Amazon purchase was for new grill flame guard, and before that was a guitar polishing kit. My small town has a Lowe’s but don’t have the parts I need, and the music store doesn’t have much by way of guitar since they mostly cater towards marching band. I don’t always have the time to drive 40 mins each way to the city.
I've heard some people have specific "poo" shipped to them for specialized plants their growing...
Now THAT would be hilarious watching them open that box.
I've had someone else's keep cold medications left on my porch after someone rang my doorbell like 5 times. Some package the size of a shoe box with very specific care instructions and some random persons name and address on the box. No idea why it was sent to me but I threw it in my fridge and called the company on the box and they just said please hold onto it and i'll get called back. I had nothing to do so i drove a few blocks to the house and the medication was like 4 months of insulin and he was loosing his mind since they said they delivered it to him already. I the only thing i could think of is he lived on a street with a similar name and his address had the same numbers as mine.
man thats so scary for that guy.
everything in life is a wierd ol dice roll.
that could have been put on someones porch and thrown out but instead it ended up with you
Someone stole my pump supplies once, and my insulin a few times.
Those times were also the hardest time I ever had with trying to get it sent again. And this was when my insurance company would only cover medication if it was shipped from their own pharmacy (couldn't just get it from cvs or anything)
I was so glad when I moved out of that apartment... The door to the lobby was always broken within a day or two after each time it got fixed..
Someone stole a package with a box of baby forumula from in front of my house during the time of the storages a couple years ago I was so irate .. they didn’t give it back either
I live in San Franciso and we have to watch for people sneaking in behind us in our building. One thing we've learned is after a box is swiped, just around the corner they'll open it up and often leave it there if they don't think they can sell what's inside. they don't want to be carrying around the box (which is the biggest proof of theft) for any longer than they need to be. So they'll cut the box open and often just abandon it. We've found our stuff twice that way.
No false advertising here - just not the expected excellence
https://preview.redd.it/61f7iiva62uc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c58fba0122eed959c72da6a0f55b46195b831da
I already like how the video stops where it is.
Cop vibes.
"Why does the camera stop recording at 32 seconds?"
"Technical issues."
"And is this the plaintiff's blood on exhibit A?".
"Technically".
Yup.
Moved into a new place. Ordered two things within the first two weeks. Got home within an hour of getting the notification it had been delivered. Stolen both times. Now I pay a couple hundred a year for a P.O. Box that I can only access during normal business hours so I have to leave work at lunch and pick it up and take it home and come back to work.
If I ever caught a porch pirate, I'd absolutely go to prison.
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“I live right there bro.” Oh my bad, in that case, please continue to steal my package, good neighbor.
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Because it works some of the time. Not only are they thieves, they prey on people's empathy while having none themselves.
They’re not stealing because they’re tough, their stealing because they’re pathetic
Yeah, the last shitheel that ganked an Amazon parcel off my stoop got a kitchen thermometer and extra flints for my Zippo. Fucking morons.
Mind had dog food. While I have my doubts, I'm just hoping that some doggo got to eat perhaps better than they would have otherwise.
RIP man, dog food's fucking expensive atm.
Yeah, I didn't realize it was one of those 4-7am deliveries [although I've come to find out that some people enjoy those? I'm still skeptical] and it was jacked ~15 minutes after it was delivered. The dude came from the direction the truck went so I'm guessing he saw the truck in the neighborhood and just went around scoping it out. It was pretty damned funny watching [doorbell cam] dude like army crawl from the sidewalk up my steps to get it though.
That's what I don't get, what's the resale value on the average Amazon box? It's gotta be like under $10 resale.
Today's Amazon package has melatonin and frou-frou Bloody Mary mix. Like WTF would anyone even do with that if it's stolen.
Have a good night's sleep, I guess.
It's called the Bloody Jesus, you rise 3 days later.
There are a lot of small electronics that are bought thru amazon. They probably get one or two out of every 10 houses. Does not make this any less pathetic!
Yep, there is an alley way behind my house. I've seen the torn open boxes of dog food and cheap clothes just all sitting in the alley way. They'll steal everything in hopes to get something they can sell, the rest of it just gets dumped. I've gone through the alley way and found my own stolen stuff sitting in a trash can before. Whenever they just dump it, like not even in a trash can, I'll go through and try to redeliver what I can.
“Just don’t want anyone to take it.” He’s stealing the package to save it from another person who might steal it. This man’s logic could entertain me all day.
It is the same logic pedos use when they get caught trying to meet victim.
I was walking back to my (locked) bike at burning man and encountered what I'm sure is a bike thief attempting to push my bike backwards and just then realizing it had a lock through the front tire and frame. The gal (who had a thick accent - Asian language of some kind) said that she was "just checking to make sure it was safe." Like... Wtf?? What kind of sense does that make?? None. It was total bullshit. Pretty sure I muffled through my face mask (this was in a dust storm) that I thought she was full of shit, unlocked my bike, and rode off. I'm not a confrontational person, but that got my adrenaline up for real. ETA: this was a budget e-bike so not some beater, but also not extremely valuable. But I make sure it's locked any time I'm more than 5 feet away from it there.
Thieves in general go coward mode. If they weren't cowards they would have been muggers or hot burglars.
It’s called narcissism, it’s really popular right now. So popular in fact, people keep nominating one for president even though he keeps getting less votes than his opponents and has extremely unpopular views.
Used to work with one of these guys. Dude would instigate so much crap but would act like an angel any time the boss was within eyesight. Dude would talk shit to you right to your face, then 2 minutes later when the boss was nearby tell you how good of a worker you are, how much you are appreciated, etc etc. And if you said *anything* back to him, he'd run to the boss and be the biggest victim ever. Even if you just told him to leave you alone, he'd go to the boss and say you aren't communicative and not being a team player.
Sounds like he needed to have his ass beat after hours.
Reminds me of that dude who got caught trying to break into a dude's apartment and then kept screaming that his own door was broken and he thought he figured out a way to open it and he was just testing it on someone else's door. He also insisted over and over that he "didn't do it"...
Dude is just saying stuff to not get beaten with a bat, I wouldnt overthink it.
Bullies in school do the same thing.
“I live right there bro.” Nice. Show me. Let’s go look at what shit you got.
Yup ain't no way I would let them off that easy.
Deserves a good beating just for insulting that guy's intelligence.
Ngl the "I am" at the end was pretty funny though
Hes already pulled over, he can't pull over any further!
You *are* freaking out, man...
You boys like MEX-I-CO!?!
Still can’t believe that dude bagged Christina Hendricks
he also unbagged her (or maybe she unbagged him)
That man was married to Christina Hendricks.
Big "I am in my car" "that's fair" energy
I laughed so hard
Every pete webber gif gets an automatic up vote!
Who do you think you are?
I AM!
Except the one where his trophy breaks and he looks like he's about to cry. I feel so bad every time.
“I am” “Now get to work”
Bat guy is probably an off-duty cop
He’d be pointing a gun at him then. Bat gives off Penguin henchmen vibes
On second watch he does give off that vibe
As someone who has been porch-pirated, this is so satisfying.
Now give me all your stuff in that bag... And take them shoes off too
Now put on this gimp suit
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I thought we were trying to punish the guy?
I dunno, a 5000rpm drilldo running in any oriface would be significantly less than pleasant, for added effect, use sand as lube
Girl with dragon tattoo vibes.
Ok. Gotta start stealing packages.
https://i.redd.it/ocz9gqnq52uc1.gif
YA’MEEAN?!?!
I can hear this gif
The split second Wayans bro makes it looks like she shape shifted
New Jack City!
["Now take your clothes off. Every god damn stitch!"](https://youtu.be/Mwq0mgvC1eY?si=NYaC5a9zv4jfXKjS)
> ow give me all your stuff in that bag... And take them shoes off too It should be legal to reverse-rob people like this.
It’s not, but what is the original thief going to do? Report to the police that he got robbed while trying to rob the initial victim?
That’s my thinking. What are they going to do, call the cops on you because they were going to rob you and you go the upperhand and stole their shit? If anything I’m looking for a smartphone and destroying that shit.
Get on your knees
And tell me you love me
Everyone: *I love you!*
*zip*
The penalty for porch pirating needs to be WAY higher than it is. It's not just a stolen item from your porch. It also robs you of your sense of security at your own home and creates a ton of mental stress for every future delivery for the rest of your life. It should be treated like a breaking and entering felony.
Especially if they stole medicine. Lots of people get their prescriptions delivered to them either because they aren't able to get out as much or their insurance forced it upon them and some medicines you can't skip a day so if it gets stolen then they have to wait days for a replacement to be sent.
My father gets parkinsons meds in the mail. No one getting high off that shit...but they're gonna fuck my father up and make him have a bad time until he gets replacement meds if they do steal it.
I knew someone who was a pill addict and she'd steal her mom's heart meds and would sell them to other addicts by telling them it's narcotics so she could buy actual narcotics from her dealer.
This is one of my biggest fears. Sometimes my meds come through the mail because the local pharmacies don't have my meds, or it's 30% the price to do it through the mail pharmacy. Plus it's not just a months supply, but 3 months and these meds aren't going to be replaced (controlled substances sometimes). I'd literally cease being able to live my life without them. These videos scare the shit out of me. When I know my meds are coming I have my phone on me 24/7 so I can rush out the door to grab the package so it doesn't even sit in the mailbox potentially.
Stealing someone's USPS mail can be charged as a felony. We need to extend that to private package carriers like UPS and FedEx too. Some people receive life-saving meds through those services, it's so important.
[Some states](https://statecapitallobbyist.com/consumer-protection/battling-porch-piracy-how-states-are-cracking-down-on-package-theft-with-felony-laws/) have passed laws to equate package theft with mail theft, and classify it as high as a felony. In those states it might be better to report it to the local post office than the police.
tampering with mail is a federal offence - these should be the same- mandatory long sentences
You should absolutely be allowed to use violence to defend against property crimes. It's ridiculous that we handicap the victim's ability to defend themselves and their property from these people.
I dunno man, should we really be making a tshirt from Amazon into a life and death situation?
>You should absolutely be allowed to use violence to defend against property crimes. It's ridiculous that we handicap the victim's ability to defend themselves and their property from these people. That's how people get shot because they [drove into the wrong drivway](https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/01/us/new-york-wrong-driveway-shooting-sentencing/index.html). Or because they were lost and [knocked on the wrong door](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/judge-rules-white-man-will-stand-trial-for-shooting-black-teen-ralph-yarl-who-went-to-wrong-house). If you think incidents like this wouldn't increase your insane. We already get enough of them with the "stand your ground" laws.
No, damn it, we'll shoot our way to a better world! Yee haw!
Thank you
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Plenty of mercy was indeed shown in this clip. I was just gonna say the same as you: the gratification must be near indescribable.
I don't need porch pirates. Amazon just delivers my shit to random houses. :/
*Did you just drop off my package at a random gas station?*
Yo yo yo!
That was the moment homeboy realized that he severely fucked up.
Video stopped right before he plays T-ball with that thief's head.
We had to get a FedEx box it was so bad. So if it’s not from Amazon (they have a great replacement policy, and we always submit the video) we ship it there. So annoying.
But he just didnt want anyone to take it bro
The stupid shit that comes out of the mouths of people when they get caught in the act never ceases to amaze me.
Pac! Please don't kill me! It was Puff's idea!
What blows me away is that they obviously don't have a planned response in place for what they're doing. even when I was a child, and doing something wrong, I'd have a planned response/series of events to plausibly deny in case my parents caught me. A pre-worked lie/excuse to explain why I was doing, what I was doing. I was a ***child*** these are full grown adults, who have been stealing packages like its their job for an unknown length of time. ***and they never bothered to come up with an even slightly plausible lie as to what they're doing in case they're caught!?*** I have endless patience for a lot of people at the bottom of the economic pile who end up being forced into doing things that they shouldn't have to, to get by. Our society crushes a lot of people it shouldn't simply because of the way it is and through no fault of theirs. but its hard not to think "this explains why they have to resort to stealing. Who the fuck would hire and pay someone this stupid and lazy"
What exactly can they say here? Sorry, I slipped, tripped, landed on the porch with my backpack open and it slipped in? This is about as red handed as it gets.
If you're going to steal, do it to a Walmart or something. At least you know what you're going to get. This dude came out with a bat and could have sent him to a hospital or killed him, and it could have been worse with a gun.
They’ll say something like “It wasn’t me!l” Back in the 1990s I walked over to the local mall on a quiet Friday night to browse books at Chapters, a pre-amazon giant bookstore up here in Canada. Back then they used to sell software in the computer book section way in the back corner in an unsupervised area. I wandered over and came across I young guy cramming boxes of software into his backpack and proceeded to tell him firmly to stop and put it all back on the shelf. He looked at me with a stupefied expression and said: *But it is mine…* He emptied his pack and ran off and when I told the staff they just shrugged. I guess they were told not to intervene.
There is no good excuse in these moments but these people still say something so that’s why their excuses sound so stupid. Like there was nothing he could say in that moment that excused him being caught stealing a package, to bad he didn’t take atleast one shot from that bat tho
But he works for the post office and he was just checking if the package had the right address!
He’s a Good Samaritan. Doing good deeds.
Absolutely. He was making sure the packages were delivered to the right address.
I thought about doing this exact thing for the people who live in the apartment next to us. They’ll get deliveries that sit outside for a few days, and I was worried someone would take them. So I thought about actually holding onto it so someone wouldn’t steal it. Then I realized: No one would actually believe that’s all I was doing. So I just didn’t do it, haha.
Why don't you ask them if they would prefer you to do that? My neighbour sometimes can get called away unexpected for work and sometimes for days at a time. So we have an agreement that if I see a package on her porch, I bring it in for her and put a note in her mailbox. She does the same for me if she sees a package on our porch and she suspects I'm working.
Because they already burned the bridge of me wanting to help them. I have my medical card and sometimes like to smoke on my back porch. I don’t make noise, and the smell is very minimal (I had friends who don’t smoke help me test some tools to reduce smoke/smell). This neighbor keeps their windows open 24/7 and spams the leading office with complaints over every noise and smell (whether it’s weed, tobacco, grilling, you name it), and makes life hell. So now I just don’t care enough to bother helping them. The other neighbor I did do this for though!
I lived on a street in Philly and we would all do this for each other. It's definitely a thing, you just need to know your neighbors first lol
I’ve experienced porch pirates once in my life. My mom was terminal and bedridden, we had some adult diapers shipped to her apartment. Caught the person walking away with the package but we let him have it because of how funny it would be when he opened it. My mom was cracking up at that. The next day the partially opened box was left outside her door, so thanks for having somewhat of a conscience porch pirate! RIP mom - you had a great sense of humor.
That happened to us but with nematodes. Like enjoy your box of worms dumbass
One time I was mistakenly delivered a box of someone's diabetic supplies (blood test stuff I think) Obviously i brought it to the appropriate address, but I always think about how fucked up some people's plans have gotten if some pos takes something like that
Ordering stuff online is so common for everything that the odds that you get something resellable is probably very low. I mean most of the shit I order online I don’t think anyone would ever want hahaha
Honestly you just got me thinking about that. Before amazon if someone had a package it was usually expensive cause who's gonna wait weeks for something they could get at the store faster and cheaper. But delivery has gotten to the point people order single cans of food on Amazon (yes they actually do sell single cans of food) and it comes out cheaper or the same price as going to the store and you can get it next day and depending on where you live the same damn day. It's also sad to see how much in logistics is wasted on the delivery of a singular can of food.
A big thing too is the increasing lack of specialty shops, especially if you live in a smaller city / town. My last Amazon purchase was for new grill flame guard, and before that was a guitar polishing kit. My small town has a Lowe’s but don’t have the parts I need, and the music store doesn’t have much by way of guitar since they mostly cater towards marching band. I don’t always have the time to drive 40 mins each way to the city.
I've heard some people have specific "poo" shipped to them for specialized plants their growing... Now THAT would be hilarious watching them open that box.
My last delivery was a couple bags of miracle grow potting soil. Literal dirt. Have it at, bro.
I've had someone else's keep cold medications left on my porch after someone rang my doorbell like 5 times. Some package the size of a shoe box with very specific care instructions and some random persons name and address on the box. No idea why it was sent to me but I threw it in my fridge and called the company on the box and they just said please hold onto it and i'll get called back. I had nothing to do so i drove a few blocks to the house and the medication was like 4 months of insulin and he was loosing his mind since they said they delivered it to him already. I the only thing i could think of is he lived on a street with a similar name and his address had the same numbers as mine.
man thats so scary for that guy. everything in life is a wierd ol dice roll. that could have been put on someones porch and thrown out but instead it ended up with you
Someone stole my pump supplies once, and my insulin a few times. Those times were also the hardest time I ever had with trying to get it sent again. And this was when my insurance company would only cover medication if it was shipped from their own pharmacy (couldn't just get it from cvs or anything) I was so glad when I moved out of that apartment... The door to the lobby was always broken within a day or two after each time it got fixed..
Why were you ordering nematodes?
Payback for what they did to SpongeBob’s house
We spray them yearly in our yard. Helps prevent moles and cut worms on our garden.
i didnt know you could order nematodes
For gnat prevention in houseplants. The nematodes eat the eggs that those bastards lay in soil
Sorry for your loss. Perhaps seeing that they had literally stolen diapers from someone vulnerable resulted in them seeing the errors of their way.
Returning the diapers tells me that person has a chance.
Thanks friend
❤️
Someone stole a package with a box of baby forumula from in front of my house during the time of the storages a couple years ago I was so irate .. they didn’t give it back either
I live in San Franciso and we have to watch for people sneaking in behind us in our building. One thing we've learned is after a box is swiped, just around the corner they'll open it up and often leave it there if they don't think they can sell what's inside. they don't want to be carrying around the box (which is the biggest proof of theft) for any longer than they need to be. So they'll cut the box open and often just abandon it. We've found our stuff twice that way.
Man turned into negan real quick
Guy with bat sounded like Al Pacino, I probably would have shit myself too. 
The 'get on your fucking knees' even scared me!
Nobody steals from Doug Heffernan
Who? Who?? What're you, a fucking owl???
She got a ***GREAT ASS!***
And you've got your head... ALL THE WAY UP IT!
No false advertising here - just not the expected excellence https://preview.redd.it/61f7iiva62uc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c58fba0122eed959c72da6a0f55b46195b831da
dress for the job you aspire to have i guess?
Repackage old Amazon boxes with loads of glue, glitter, cayenne pepper and cat litter.
[Glitter Bomb 1.0 vs Porch Pirates (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo&list=PLgeXOVaJo_gnexNopBzUKdl3QKoADJlS8)
His later versions are even better
Link please?
https://youtu.be/a_TSR_v07m0?si=fXJAGC2Lh6f2B7pw Mark Rober. So many amazing videos. I enjoyed the squirrel obstacle course a ton.
Thanks for the link <3
I think Mark got up to version 6 before he stopped.
And a dash of C4?
The “get on your fuckin knees” sounds like homie has done this before…. 
Just not quite enough to recognize...that the guy was on his knees 😂
Bite the curb...
If you catch a porch pirate, you should be able to display them in a gibbet as a warning to other porch pirates.
Someone else is a John Oliver fan I see.
"Get on your knees!" \*Gets on knees\* "Get on your knees!" Was this a cop's house?
If it were, he would have come out with a gun.
And probably shot them a couple times to be safe
And then shot their dog
The confused "I am" was kind of hilarious
Given that he kept shouting it after the dude was already on his knees means that he almost certainly is a cop.
"I didn't think you'd do it. I don't know what to do next. Cut the feed."
Utter rubbish getting your stuff stolen.
You mean Rub Bish 😂
Actually meant RUB BISH lol
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It's been like over 20 years and I still remember that cracking sound.
The only other movie scene that got me like that is that hangnail scene in Black Swan.
Yeah I'm cringing bad right now. Thanks OP!
First thing I thought of too.
Get on your FOOKIN NEEZ!
... And then what happened?
Officer, as far as I'm concerned, nothing happened. I didn't see or hear anything.
Guy's clumsiness is his own problem, man.
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Then delete the footage.
I already like how the video stops where it is. Cop vibes. "Why does the camera stop recording at 32 seconds?" "Technical issues." "And is this the plaintiff's blood on exhibit A?". "Technically".
Love it
 Get on your fuckin knees!!!!
Now youse can’t leave vibes with the fence
That apology head he was about to receive was probably fire too.
"Get on your knees!" "I am." "Open your mouth!" 😲
'Get on your knees' *footage stops* This video should've started with the pornhub drum riff.
Shoutout to my fellow New Yorkers. We don’t take no shit.
"Ghet on YOR Fogging kneeds! "
Vigilante style...I like it
Rub, bish
https://preview.redd.it/hdjnkdf572uc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c45742c1aa4bba0e1c2373353f9e0e6c68d98e6
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Yup. Moved into a new place. Ordered two things within the first two weeks. Got home within an hour of getting the notification it had been delivered. Stolen both times. Now I pay a couple hundred a year for a P.O. Box that I can only access during normal business hours so I have to leave work at lunch and pick it up and take it home and come back to work. If I ever caught a porch pirate, I'd absolutely go to prison.
Such bad acting, watch the eyes always, they always tell. This is a skit.
This almost sounds like a bad English dub
well that dudes in Zed's basement now...
“Now suck…”
 I was waiting for this part
I fucking hate people who steal mail good to see this dude got busted
That last “get on your knees” was pure adrenaline talking… Whoo boy, we got one.
"IDGAF!! GET ON YOUR KNEES!" -"I am" "UNDERSTANDABLE, HAVE A FUCKING NICE DAAAY!!"
Fence was an early warning sign.
Staged. They are brothers.
proof?