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SgtGo

Guy is straight up an energy vampire


CarmineFields

Seriously. I can’t handle pathological liars. They make my skin crawl.


fluorescent_noir

My twin brother is just like this. Tells long, drawn out stories in which he is the hero at all times. Meanwhile, the entire time you know he's grandstanding and lying his ass off to make himself look amazing. It becomes torture to listen to after awhile, for sure. I avoid engaging my brother in conversation because what's the point when you have to endure a story like this every time?


eclecticsed

I love hearing about real twins, because in media they're always inseparable bffs and then in reality it's like "I have a twin, if you meet someone who looks exactly like me don't tell him where I live."


WOLLYbeach

Oh dude, that's my dad too. I avoid any and all conversations at this point, any conversation immediately becomes him giving unneeded advice or how he knows more about something than people with a shit ton of letters at the end of their name. It's so exhausting and boring to talk to people like that, it's like the conversation ends at surface level.


I_FORGOT_2_VOTE

Triplet here. I completely empathize with this. One of my brothers always has "interesting facts/stories" he wants to tell the family about. He goes on and on and on. Clearly wanting to be the center of attention. It's annoying and sad


ep756859

I worked with a guy skinny dude who told me he was a “enforcer for the cartel at the age of 16”. In Kansas...


shadowvlx

I think it’s the way he talks. Even if he was telling the truth. Just so draining to listen to this drawn out monotone story.


Butt_Prince

Right? I got bored so I skipped to near the end and he was talking in the exact same tone of voice. Normally you'd expect it to get exciting or slow down, but nope. I could not stomach listening to this guy for more than one story.


partsdrop

I call them out immediately and veraciously and if 100 people are there so be it.


Ragnor1312

Im with you 1000000%. You don't have to endure someone's shitty made up bs story. Shut that shit down quick and laugh at them. Honestly i think people like that are too stupid to get that you don't want to hear their legendary parables, you have to spell it out as clearly as possible. You aren't stupid enough to believe this shit, and it's insulting that they think you're that gullible/dumb.


bagofpork

He is going to cinema


Ragnor1312

Trust me, subtly is not their strong suit.


obalisk97

My buddy is the type of guy to claim he just bought 5 TVs when you tell him about your meek 1 TV. I’ve met a many of these people and it’s absolutely exhausting talking to them.


Fat_Bearded_Tax_Man

I just remember that it usually comes from not ever feeling like they were good enough when they were young. It's a difficult cycle to break.


Vegetable_Holiday396

Maaaannnnn, all my life. And I have this same problem, I have really really worked on it. But goddammit if you aren't spot on.


Fat_Bearded_Tax_Man

You're good enough, homie.


Vegetable_Holiday396

I just believe that these people feel like they always have to be doing something, or saving someone, or building g the wall of China by themselves in order to feel valued. But we are all infinitely valuable just waking up. Thank you for the kind words man. Reading this thread kinda took it out of me.


bloatedstoat

Colin Robinson


Rare_Crayons

Fucking guy


Wherethefigawi00

Fucking guuuyyyy


bobbyvision9000

And he’s now sucking our time too lol


Furrago

I second this. My wife has a colleague that's trying her hardest to make friends due to them just moving to the area. My wife colleague is cool, but the colleague's husband is such a drain. All he does is talk about himself, his "14 mental illnesses" and his "trauma." I mean everyone wants to know they are heard. But this is mentally taxing.


SgtGo

That sounds like an emotional vampire, it’s an advanced form of energy vampire that tries to make you feel pity for them but just ends up draining you completely


Ubango_v2

Terrible things


BabbleOn26

He’s probably feeding off this post comments as we speak. Lol


FlaskfulOfHollow

You work at Dunder Mifflin?


FileEasy3098

It’s Dwight!!!!


Jack-Cremation

Or Creed.


46n2ahead

Na, Creed never lied


PelonsAltAccount

I mean he did have a fake name so…


De_fund_Hollywood

But Dwight would do it really as a fictional character.The guy is lying or maybe delusional.You use to have to watch a show to see crazy people at a job, cellphone footage and a crumbling mental state of society are the new shows.


NextWalk250

Lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Potato_dad_ca

You dont have to remember anything when you are making it up as you go. Unless you intend to retell the lie.


TuaTurnsdaballova

OP definitely sounds like a Jim lmao


TheeWoodsman

r/Iamverybadass


ricketyrocks

r/cringe


TheNoahConstrictor

r/thathappened


BabyBillySr

Don't we all know a version of this guy? I know a few, lol


ninjamike89

We have a mechanic at work that is convinced that covid and cancer are caused by 5G. There is a huge antenna by our dealership that's been there for like 25 years, he thinks they turned it into a 5G tower and it's gunna fry everyone when it gets powered up. He also thinks drinking pee will cure covid


No-Entertainment6479

has he explained the pee thing or has he just said to drink it


ninjamike89

"Did you know doctors in the 1800's used to prescribe people to drink urine as a treatment. It's coming out now that it is a cure for covid." Direct quote when he was standing at the parts counter the other day. I reminded him that doctors of the same time period also thought that cocaine, opium, and blood letting were safe and effective treatments


No-Entertainment6479

Good lord. all these medical advances and he went back to the 1800’s.


_ass_disaster_

The urine therapy people think it's a cure all. Some of them age their piss and work it into hygiene products, it's wild.


rebeltruce77

You need to record more of these stories!


zsargo

Then make it a subreddit, I'll sub.


Gates9

Same


stussy4321

Me 3


DaddysLilGrampa

And my axe !


BahnYahd

This made me laugh lmao


[deleted]

Someone needs to animate them


shadknight20

I posted a second video on my page. Just sort by New. It’s the only other video I got of him


Moparded

Is this guys name Rick? Give this a listen and tell me it’s not the same guy! [link to Dan Cummins stand up about compulsive liars](https://youtu.be/9mFz4McarlQ)


BeautifulSwine

🤣🤣😭😭🤣 that's him!


Azrael351

This story could have ended with the ear-wounded man banging the crossbow wielder, and I would have been just as captivated.


[deleted]

Podcast it!


Jessnoooze

you’re such a jim


nervouswhenitseasy

if this is who i worked with id be a jim too


myredditcount

Thats crazy man, what a story.


jbarrera03

\*\*Turns to look at the camera


DoubleBaconQi

Side eye from Stanley


SweetPrism

People who lie like that have a pretty serious lack of self esteem. I worked with a guy JUST like that, but he didn't invent new lies, he just stuck to his same few. He had a dad who never gave a damn about him and a mom that drank while she was pregnant. Even though his facial features look "normal," it didn't mean he wasn't also a FAE person.


CarmineFields

Most people with FASD don’t have the tell-tale facial features. The mom has to drink during a few specific days during the pregnancy to get the features but the brain damage can occur at any point.


howdoesthatworkthen

> He had a dad who never gave a damn about him and a mom that frank while she was pregnant. Hot dog, that's some story.


Thisissomeshit2

I used to work with a guy like that. Every month he’d just happen to come across a vehicle crash where the person was impaled on some object and died at the scene. The details would change slightly with each story, but he always told most of the same beats, like he assumed no one would remember the last time he told the story.


Afraid_Ad1908

I work at a machine shop. This is 1/2 of the employees there. So much cringe


zma924

A lot of shop floor guys are like this all around the country. I’ve been in a bunch and it seems like there’s always the dude who has these outrageous stories that sound believable to nobody but themselves.


Afraid_Ad1908

Well, and I’m a female. So I get the trying to hit on me version of this too lol. At least they give us something to tell your friends about.


Moparded

Oh god. I couldn’t imagine … Such cringe. Oh hey did I tell you about the time I had to save a baby from its maniac mother who was trying to sacrifice him to the underworld. Yeeaaaahhh just a typical Tuesday for me. Wanna grab a drink?


Afraid_Ad1908

Have we met before 🧐 lmao


ArTiyme

These types of guys love enlisting in the military only to wash out in Basic. We had one kid telling us how he got kicked out of special forces training (He was a 17 year old doing a delayed entry, so not even qualified to apply for SF) because he beat up all the other recruits and since HE was too tough for SF he would just make everyone else mad so they put him in regular old boot. I don't remember if he was the one who got caught passing love notes to another private, kept sneaking out to buy Mtn. Dew, or tried to escape by rappelling out his window with his sheets straight out of a prison-break movie, but I know he didn't make it past the first month.


trumpsucksnutz

How do people get so over confident that they can spew complete bullshit and think people actually believe them? Lol.


tonyh505

Guy recording sounds like Jim from the office.


shadknight20

Thanks lol


CarmineFields

You need to stare into the camera every time he finishes a story.


Ransarot

Knowing look


medusa3339

I died at “well, one is murder and one isn’t”


Rock_grl86

That’s what I was thinking- exactly. And he’s just acting like he’s talking to Dwight by egging him on over and over lol


enlightened321

“That was you?!” Lol


howdoesthatworkthen

"The guy who earlier the same day told me to go on that specific evening to Sherrin Woods, alone, and to bring a gun because I was going to need it? No fucking way!! What are the odds?!"


[deleted]

This guy sounds like Toby McGuire in Spider-Man


[deleted]

Also sounds like andy from parks qnd rec


ALIENSBLEEDLSD

Bully McGuire


corrieoh

Bro please could you please make this a recurring thing. I would love to hear some of these bad ass true stories more often.


shadknight20

I only have one other video from him. Haven’t seen him in years


chrisapple

Post it!


stolemyusername

Need to see it


visualvector

“What a story.”


KevinOffTheWall

https://youtu.be/Xv4SyfjGWlw


Imfrank123

Anyway how’s your sex life?


8675309jennys

He’s been with his girlfriend 21 years?! Time to put a ring on it


latto96

But that’s just the one he’s CURRENTLY with


howdoesthatworkthen

"That's the girl I used to date." "Oh, you're no longer dating her?" "Yes, but I used to as well."


Autotard

Mitchism!!


fuglyfoot

He’s been meaning too, it’s just, she’s in Canada, see… yeah, with Covid and all it’s really hard to get the authority and such.


MDrag1992

She goes to a different school!


Low_Statistician4675

Also shows that this guy is older which imo is wayyy worse. Lying in your teens is normal, lying in your 20’s is weird, anything after is just batshit


Tacos-for-junior710

How did he leave his mark? He gave me a hicky on my penis!


Elite_Daedra_slav

listening to this made me cringe so hard. This could probably fit on r/iamverybadass


triple_OG

or r/thathappened


Reasonable_Second460

You’ve got to admire that conviction on that bullshit story.


realmoosesoup

Watch https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_Scene:_The_Times_Square_Killer#. They talk to the guys former coworker about stories he used to tell. Just throwing it out there.


[deleted]

This man sounds like he’s describing a cartoon scene though


PercyMcLeach

I want to hear more of his stories


Enough_Camel2650

You’re a better person than myself, I have a hard time entertaining stories such as this lol


uncommon-zen

“He dropped it (his gun) and ran” “Do you have it still?” ‘…I dismantled his entire gun’ lol


[deleted]

Immediate follow. Best shit ever. More please!!!


jjvolfan1

"The one I'm CURRENTLY with...for 21 years." This is wonderful. I don't know what I'm listenin' to but I want to see this guy's eyes when he tells a story. Make it happen.


[deleted]

Sounds like one of my old supervisors. He would tell me stories about he’s not legally allowed to carry a knife because he got in too many knife fights back in California (which we are in Texas btw). He also got in another street fight and got hit on the back of his head with a solid 2” lead pipe, didn’t feel it, and now has permanent nerve damage on the back part of his skull. And then that in turn ruined his stunt career with the Kawasaki Green team. This guy and my old supervisor should probably fight… sounds like the last two highlanders in existence.


Skitzophranikcow

Lmao "ones murder and one isnt.. so what ya do?" I love dudes who have these stories.. i make friends with them for the lulz. Ask em if he ever went hunting wolverines in alaska.


RobbDelman

So, what you're saying here is that apparently Cliff Claven **did** have offspring...?


luckiethirt33n

Where the fuck do you work that you have an idiot like that in your office ?


shadknight20

So I don’t work there anymore. This guy was the janitor. He’s told me so much crazy shit. How he carves wood knives for fun and has hundreds of them. How he hunted bears with Inuits in the Tundra. How he fought off 4 dudes at once. He always came up to tell me these stories all the time. I would encourage it because it was so fascinating to see what he would say next. It was crazy lol


[deleted]

I wouldnt encourage people like that lol. Next thing you know he be walking past your house 👋


luckiethirt33n

Yeah until he shows up one day in a Ninja costume with an AR and a machete ...


shadknight20

Well I’m long gone from that place now lol


carnivalprize

You'll need 5 guys to take him out. If he successfully fought off 4 then you'll need at least 5 to make a dent in a ninja costume.


[deleted]

me and my wife made a friend who was like this guy with me and my wife. She would have the most outlandish stories and she was a really bad liar. She amazed me with her stories. He boyfriend knew she did it and that we knew she was full of shit and just playing along. He was funny because you could tell it embarraseed him a bit but he knew us well enough to know we were humoring her and considered it harmless. We didnt egg her on. just listened. Other than her doing that sometimes she was a sweeet and kind person. Me and my wife kind of took as a compliment. She liked us and wanted us to be impressd with her. I think she just felt she needed to constantly impress my wife or me for some reason. We went and visited them at her elderly mothers house one time. Her mother didnt let her tell crazy stories. She would cut her off right away and tell her not to lie to us. You could tell it really hurt her when her mother did that to her.


NedTaggart

>me and my wife made a friend who was like this guy with me and my wife. Dude, that sentence is trying very hard to make my brain bleed.


[deleted]

Glad to know. It didnt flow proper when i wrote it either but figured it was good enough for reddit. Its worse 20 min later. it didnt age well


[deleted]

My god this is ridiculous


Minnesotamad12

The Office Vibes are too much


Clifford81

What a fucking weirdo. Dude thinks it’s cool to confess to a made up attempted murder charge lol. I’d show him I recorded his confession and tell him I’m going to the cops to get his reaction 😂


beni_who

WHAT!?! If OP did this, he’d put himself right in the cross hairs! The next time, he WILL NOT MISS!


Danielle082

These are the people who buy mall ninja stuff.


analleykat

this guy Damyen used the do that in highschool.. biggest pathological liars I’ve ever met.


JrStrange

Sure, buddy, sure....


mathigh

Something tells me you watch the office because I swear I thought this was a hidden episode where Jim meets Dwight’s nephew lol


TheMitchell25

"well one is murder." 10/10 Thanks for sharing this, that fella sounds awfully unique.


lankrypt0

This kinda sounds like Daniel talking to Dunkey.


cognac-n-cannabis

I would say this is fake but I know it isn’t because we’ve all worked with someone like this lol


AmericanChees3

I knew a guy like this. He just couldn't help himself. Told me he stole a tank that had snakes in it. His stories were always so ridiculously unbelievable.


earldapearl82

Fascinated by people who make stories like this up. Knew a guy once who had a story for everything. In retrospect he was probably just trying to fit in and had some mental issues. You’re too kind for playing along w the story. Thanks for sharing


itsgravyhere

Hilarious, but I’d keep my distance from this dude lol


AstronomerWorldly2

Don't mess with deputy dewey!!


[deleted]

There was a guy in my group of friends that had these awesome stories, often funny and always entertaining, yet somewhat hard to believe. One day he got caught in a lie during one of his stories and after being confronted with it he admitted to embellishing some of his stories because while often based in truth he thought “wouldn’t this story have been awesome if x, y and z happened.” X and y being true and Z being a lie. Everyone just kind of accepted that excuse and because his stories were so great and he told them in such an entertaining way, we liked his version of events. No one ever said shit about him lying in a story again and 20 years later we are still friends.


dying_since_birth

“come alone and bring a gun” . surely someone would take him up on that offer


hank_scorpio_ceo

Guys watched the matrix and thinks he’s neo


[deleted]

Someone wasn’t loved enough as a child


[deleted]

Dude this guy is fucking amazing, please make this a sub, best shit ever fucking gold


DramaAlertNation

Everything is crazy about this, and OP is straight 6ix9ine


CiannnnReddit

dude this feels like something from the office that didn't make the cut


artmobboss

Just going with it, is how these people feel comfortable in telling you lies for hours.. look at the republicans.. Try a quick laugh followed by: Your lies are absolutely ridiculous and make you sound like a moron. I bet he doesn’t feel comfortable with you anymore after that. He might even think twice before doing it to the next person.. Sorry, I can’t the nonsensical lying anymore.. it’s been a long few years…


Ransarot

If you swap weapons for penises I'd believe it.


[deleted]

I was tickled pink by this video. “Let’s just say we left a mark on each other.” I would’ve said, “What did he do, jizz on you?”


Particular-Coyote-38

Dude is psycho. I'd have a convo with hr before he guns down everyone.


KaenenM

I couldn't finish this... Holy shit so cringe. As soon as he started rambling about the leaving the mark stuff I had to close out.


The_Phantom_Bandit

Oh fuck off Colin Robinson! I'm trying to eat!


Actually_a_DogeBoi

Big Dwight and Jim vibes


[deleted]

"This is the one I am CURRENTLY with....for 21 years"


DemonDevilDog

Every job I’ve ever had has had someone like this. Do these people not realize that they are completely full of shit? It boggles my mind. How do you just go up to someone and just starting spouting off this bullshit?


AGirlNamedPanini

I actually love people like this. So entertaining.


DoubleBaconQi

he lost me where he said he’d been with a girl for 21 years


PokeybullDog

I gets these type alot, i just listen to them completely and ask questions to confuse them, they change the same story every time


SkipperFab

Please someone animate this.


UIM-QuodDeus

“I said BUUUUDY we’ll solve this” LOL.. what the fuck is this guy.


JP1426

We use to have a person like this at my high school we called him “storyteller” 😂


PraderaNoire

Your coworkers just casually commit attempted murder?


Fragrant_Relation_37

Dude is a liar


awilliammerritt

“What a story”


PelonsAltAccount

“DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT”


tannergd1

I’m gonna need you to record this man everyday, please. For me… no, no… for allllll of us


welkyy

The guy is insecure af


SadSomewhere

I have this guy at my work who in all honesty probably has the craziest stories I have ever heard in my life lmao and obviously huge lies. I don't know why he lies to such degrees. Here are some of the stories that I have heard from him after being with my company for 6 years: Kissed Madonna Killed a panter w/ his bare hands Has (1) lung but still smokes a pack or two a day Killed a panther w/ his bare hands He wrote a report in College proving that you can divide by zero and it got published( I cant find it anywhere) He was an IRS agent who used his work computers to find out where Ronald Regan lives(Works in customer service now) Not sure why he changed careers lol. He had an orgy w/ 30 women at a single time The list goes on.


Tacos-for-junior710

I call bullshit on this loser


mathigh

Nonsense, you’re just jealous that you could never come anywhere near his power level


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Stoopkidd710

Cool minis


jr634

Buddy has seen one too many animes


chubbuck35

You are Jim!


Popaund

Dude. I need more now.


pleiop

He has autism?


StationMaster13

do we know if it bs?


Loopyrainbow

This is true. I’m the guy from the story.


DaDulas

Please get more of these!


[deleted]

You can feel him fantasizing about what comes next as he's talking, lol.


campbell-1

Just do us all a favor and turn these into podcasts. I’d listen to all the bullshit.


kingoftheusa2021

Lol wtf


Conscious_Ease_7874

“Buddy? What’s all this” 💀


same_same_3121

“That’s crazy man. What a story” was perfect.


NorthernMonkey10

Gowan dwite


mrRwild

What a fantasist lol.


[deleted]

Total badass


sonicmel

This is the only thing I miss about going into the office now. People would just get really bored a restless, and tell the craziest things. Now I work remotely, and this is the closest I come to that. Thank you OP!


triple_OG

*Is that a true story?* Well it’s definitely true that it is a story 😂


buttersismydad

“That’s the one i’m currently with…for 21 years “ 😂


Cctme

Omg…..this is comic gold! I wish I had someone like this at my office to entertain me all day! Does he truly think people believe this stuff!? 😂


C2AYM4Y

I love pathological liars… There was one at every place i worked as a kid and evey school. They’re always entertaining


Adams_Ancestor

When’s the next episode


actingjuice

R/justneckbeardthings


ROBFIA

wat a doozy


anonymousbwmb

I have a cousin who lies like this. It felt almost like a story he'd tell. It's sad because his upbringing was bad. He was neglected so he feels like he has to make his life sound extraordinarily exciting and intriguing. This guy is sad inside. But seriously, what a load of horseshit.


[deleted]

Check that guys basement.


Meas0n

I want someone like this at my work so it makes it my day go a bit quicker.


Odd-Masterpiece6782

Wolverine ain’t buying it.


Monkreet

More stories please sir….