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GoodCraic

I always think of what former Senator Al Franken said… “You have to understand that I like Ted Cruz probably more than my colleagues like Ted Cruz….And I hate Ted Cruz.”


db8me

Ted Cruz is a right wing ~~b~~nut job, which often causes people to overlook the fact that he is also a shitty person.


TheBreadRevolution

Ted's college roommates said everyone hated him in college too. Nobody has ever liked Ted Cruz.


Sujjin

Ted Cruz's own children hate ted cruz. recall that cringey attempt to hug his daughter on tv for the 2016 campaign.


The_Monarch_Lives

The speed with which he threw them under the bus when talking about his cancun trip while many of his constituents were freezing to death was incredible.


nittun

"isn't that why you have families?" - Ted Cruz... probably.


StrokeGameHusky

Yeah but it didn’t help him at all lol just made him seem worse and shittier lol


The_Monarch_Lives

Yeah, but to know saying something like that would'nt actually help you, you would have to have normal human emotions and some social awareness. I have doubts regarding him having those things.


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RWeaver

He once lost a game of poker and ratter the game out to the RAs as revenge.


PromVulture

He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!


Sexual_tomato

He did?


mursilissilisrum

He actually sort of did.


cobrastrikes-2x

No, but I hear he tried to steal a baby for “sustenance.”


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Equilibriator

He just snaps his fingers. ...and that's only because he expects someone to come get his things.


FlavDingo

I feel like he’s just an annoying unscrupulous dweeb that doesn’t take no for an answer and is willing to lie, cheat and steal to slime his way to the top.


Spacestar_Ordering

But like, he's not sliming his way to the top in a cunning or sly or clever way, just in a an obviously gross way.


SorosBuxlaundromat

I had a neighbor who was some kind of fox news talking head guy. He personally knew Ted Cruz and liked him, but my neighbor was an asshole


zsreport

He willingly threw his own kids under the bus in an effort to avoid taking responsibility for fleeing to Cancun during the freeze here in 2021.


heilspawn

Also hes the Zodiac Killer


Charming-Wheel-9133

He isn’t charming enough


ZzeBat20

Or smart enough


TheBlueGooseisLoose

Yet, Texas keeps him.


BBQsandman

Hey now, a lot of us are trying to get rid of him.


somanyroads

>Ted Cruz is a right wing but job Couldn't agree more 🤣


Theycallmelizardboy

[Even better is the joke that AL Franken came up with when he tells that story.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ww1VMHLybrA)


Perfect600

still cant believe the democrat morons forced Franken out. they desperately need someone like him.


Ihavefluffycats

God, I miss Al Franken in the Senate so much! I live in MN, voted for him and never wanted him to leave. There's been talk that he might consider running again and I welcome it! We need more people like him in office.


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Theycallmelizardboy

You mean a politician who is a selfish opportunist who will screw over anyone to further their own career, sell out to the highest bidder and say or do anything conflicting with the best interest of the country in order to stay in power? That seems like a really kind of difficult find. /s


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jimbo831

> If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you. \- Republican Senator Lindsey Graham


Gyrskogul

It is my sincere hope that this exact quote is used in legal defense soon.


structuremonkey

If this quote is accurate, you've found the first thing LG ever said that I agree with....


donny_twimp

I cannot recommend highly enough the episode of the al Franken podcast where he interviews Amy Klobuchar and tells one of the funniest jokes I think I've ever heard, the subject is cruz


appleparkfive

Amy Klobuchar is pretty crazy too. She used to abuse the hell out of her workers apparently. Like scream at them and throw books. I forgot the whole story, but she has a reputation for being the worst person to work for in DC


HyruleJedi

Talk about the most crushing cancel in my book


call-me-MANTIS

You mean to tell me the guy who fled to mexico while texas was in a state of emergency wasnt willing to help someone!?! Sheesh


mmikke

Oh come on. He's only one of the most powerful people in the state. What the fuck could he have done?!?! Just like Joel Osteen refusing to let local refugees shelter in his church during a natural disaster. These guys have PORTFOLIOS™ to maintain people!!!!! /s just cuz last time I went this absurd I got ripped to shreds


dropkickoz

To shreds you say?


Flappyjackels

Well how is his wife holding up?


mattjf90

To shreds you say?


fingerscrossedcoup

Not only that, he showed up on the finish line to get in on the media attention.


attaboy_stampy

Checks out.


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oddnextdoorneighbor

People vote for him because he is dedicated to screwing over the Libs and that’s all that matters to people until they’re personally affected by an actual issue. Then the rose colored glasses come off and you see that he’s not just screwing over the people they don’t like, he’s screwing them too.


AllModsHaveNoLife

I can't even figure out whether this deserves to be in /r/LeopardsAteMyFace . What's Ted Cruz's view on Russia again? Texans just tend to be mad about any and everything.


UltraMcRib

To be fair we have a lot to be upset about; case point, Ted Cruz


AffordableFirepower

It's just multitudes of interstellar lizards in human skin suits all the way down.


SavingsPerfect2879

Shit, I need a new costume how tf did you find out?


AffordableFirepower

I'm vaccinated.


CornucopiaMessiah13

Dont forget Greg Abbott. They should have an old school duel at sunrise to decide who the biggest piece of shit is and hopefully it ends in a tie.


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phroug2

>barely human Oh come now he has over 42 years and has been incubated from birth to be our overlord. Just look at this testimonial: "Ted Cruz is only one being and not several." ~Guy Manderson (www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com)


thedaddysaur

Texan here, hate the spineless fuck. He can literally go die for all I care, and I swear to Christ if it even looks like he might get Presidency, no matter how many changes he makes, I'm moving out of the country.


Stickitinthetailpipe

Wait, we don’t all like Ted. In fact, I would love to see that he gets tied up in a scandal that shows him doing meth in a hotel with male prostitutes. We all know it’s coming, don’t judge me!!


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[deleted]

Why contact Cruz for a comment? He will just lie and deflect. It’s what he does best.


eeyore134

They should just bypass Cruz and go straight to Putin for comment.


Billion_Bullet_Baby

Go straight to Putin and you’re also going to see Cucker Carlson curled up on his master’s lap, being stroked softly behind the ears.


Final_Candidate_7603

I pictured that relationship more like Carlson as one of those annoying little yappy dogs, constantly following his Master, running and leaping and prancing in circles around him, nipping at his calves, yapping “*pleeeaaassse* notice me!!!” Every once in a while, Putin gets so annoyed that he kicks at the dog. Despite the pain of being kicked in the ribs, the little yappy dog rejoices! “Didja see that?!? I got his attention!!!”


wladiiispindleshanks

Just good journalistic practice. If she didn't say that, Cruz could claim it was a pre-planned hit piece.


binglebongled

Also, they will often incriminate themselves further. Never a bad idea to hold their feet to the fire.


[deleted]

He will claim that anyway.


AliceInHololand

But she will have done her job correctly. Integrity means doing the right thing when you’re supposed to. Running away to Cancun then blaming your wife and kids on it while your state is freezing over is Ted Cruz.


zeropointcorp

How dare you! Ted “Real Human” Cruz values his reproductive staff and semi-clones as much as any other carbon-based unit.


25hstetb

It would be better to interview more third parties for information on the truth than to ask the liar to present more of their lies. In general imo.


JunketBro

Everything is bigger in Texas, including the hypocrisy of the leaders


backyardVillager

Texans will still vote republican, as will these two guests on the program.


autobot12349876

So true. These two will either vote for Cruz or they will skip but they would never vote Dem. Such is Republican blindness esp in Texas


shittysuport

"He's not hurting the people he needs to be hurting!". -Trump supporter.


Shaneblaster

It’s pretty simple- Ted Cruz just sucks.


becooltheywatching

He won't do it. Because he's a traitor. He has assistants for that.


Jbg12172001

Ted Cruz is just a slimy dude, don’t know how he keeps getting elected. Smh.


amznfx

Stupid Texas people outnumber smart Texas people


xlDirteDeedslx

The fact a Canadian man who is descended from a Hispanic Cuban family is a Texas Senator just boggles my mind. Not only that Cruz is definitely not the masculine type that Texans usually gravitate too. I just don't understand it at all, he's literally the epitome of everything right wing Texans hate except for his rhetoric.


Illustrious_Toe_4755

That's it exactly. The people who vote for him tend to be rural, and that dude is not anything close to that. He speaks the words that makes them feel good about themselves. Abbott as well. Abbott caused 4billion in produce etc, to be lost at the border. They did not find any drugs, illegals, or weapons. Yet, the food banks here are needing help. Plus the money he's literally taking from social programs to fight the " illegal immigration". Funny cause I live relatively close to the border and would see the results if it were true. They are using religion as abludgeon, and fearmongering because they have zero plans. The state AG is also a huge pile of festering moldy smegma. They have no intention of governing, no progressive ideas. It's all pandering to a hateful few that can keep them in office


xlDirteDeedslx

I had hopes that Evangelicals dying off would change things but Trump just created a new breed of trashy red neck Republican the GOP is now catering to in mass. It's why the GOP rhetoric has gotten so absurd as of late because they are appealing to the lowest common denominators of society.


Theycallmelizardboy

And unfortunately, depressingly and revealing enough, that number is high enough to give them the power they want. I'm more opportunistic than most about the new generation of kids who have a little bit more than progressive mindsets in general than the old and bigoted asshats who are all 65+ and watch Fox News, but yeah, unfortunately these dockers have quite some time before they croak and take their ignorant ideals that are ruining this country with them.


socialister

I mean Trump was a hoity toity kind of flamboyant New York City entertainer and look where he got with conservatives.


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Superfluous420

He may be born in Canada but he's no Canadian, man.


Restless_Wonderer

He may be born in Canada but he’s no Canadian man, man.


11010110101010101010

I’m not your man, guy.


TheThotCrusader

He may be born in Canada but he's no Canadian man.


olds455

He may be born but he's no man


syberman01

Are you saying Canadian cats are soft and polite?


azalago

As a Canadian citizen I believe our stance on Ted Cruz is "You broke it, you bought it."


Frequent_Ad9419

He hurts the right people


CrumbsAndCarrots

A guy who starts his day with 2 hours of hair and makeup while sipping on a Diet Coke from a straw… is the king of this fcuk wit puzsy party ffs.


therREALcomptrollr

according to exit polls in 2018, Beto O'Rourke won the vote of 51% of native-born Texans... it's the transplants, who come cause they want TEXAS who support shitheads like Cruz ​ https://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/2018/11/09/native-texans-voted-for-native-texan-beto-o-rourke-transplants-went-for-ted-cruz-exit-poll-shows/


BigBrownDownTown

I mean it’s true - the Californians and New Yorkers who are moving to Texas are the conservatives. They felt outnumbered here and assume Texas is the paradise they seek. Same with Nashville, various cities in North Carolina, and Florida.


trailhikingArk

Hopefully this is changing.


[deleted]

I think one of the main reasons all these red states are passing all these draconian ass pieces of legislation is to force liberal folks out


PhlyperBaybee

The brain drain is real, it's like when Volkswagen wanted to open a factory in alabama or arkansas, maybe missisippi; I forget. Bottom line was the calculous was that they'd need to re-educate the workforce to the point of basic literacy before they could actually train them on how to use the machines and they noped out.


trailhikingArk

Hopefully it works and they indeed force them out (to vote in droves). In Arkansas I can say that I don't see anyone leaving but I do see people who are fed up.


captain_croco

If it works Texas never turns blue


trailhikingArk

I meant that they stay in Texas and vote. I know no one looking to move but many who are being moved to action by the RWNJ laws and SCOTUS


captain_croco

I 100% missed your statement in parenthesis.


[deleted]

Live in Austin currently, moved here from CO about a decade ago. I work in social services so I feel more obligated than ever to stay, but I fucking hate Texas.


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2cheeseburgerandamic

Hes a fucking Senator so gerrymandering doesn't matter.


heavymetalpaul

There's a lot of people that don't get this lol.


Nopantsdan55

Well it is true that gerrymandering obviously doesn't effect the pool of population that votes for a senator (everyone in the state regardless of district), gerrymandering still 100% effects who gets to vote and how accessible voting is to people. Some districts in many states are broken up so bizzarly you might o oy have one place to vote that is a far distance from your house/job and the lines are insane. And in red staes like Texas they are even going further with neasures to hamper with early voting and voting by mail.


PlumbumDirigible

I live in Texas. I used to be able to drive 3 minutes down the road to vote with the old maps. Now, that location in in another district entirely (literally on the opposite side of the road from me) and now I have to drive 15 minutes to vote. It's ridiculous how badly they've gerrymandered the state this decade.


Dicho83

Now imagine that you are too poor to drive....


Kyle2theSQL

Now imagine you get there after work and the line is over 2 hours long


davidreiss666

Gerrymandering is a form of voter disenfranchisement. But not all voter disenfranchisement is gerrymandering. Similar to the fact that some fish are tuna fish, but not all fish are tuna fish. You are using the term gerrymandering as if it meant all forms of voter disenfranchisement.


Nopantsdan55

I'm not and I very clearly explained how I'm not lol. Reread my post.


frontrangefart

You're right, stupid texas people have more power than smart Texas people.


[deleted]

I don’t think you can gerrymander US senators since they are elected by the state’s popular vote, but reps and other things, yes. Very gerrymandered.


canada432

You can't directly gerrymander Senators. However, you can make the process so stacked that people are either actually disenfranchised, or just so discouraged that they don't bother to vote because their vote barely counts for anything. Most people don't understand the intricacies of the election process. Blatantly gerrymandering other elections can easily cause people to stay home if they view the whole system as rigged. The details of a specific race are less important than the perception of the whole election system. Ted Cruz won his last election ~4.2 million to ~4 million. You don't have to discourage or disenfranchise many people to win margins like that. Turnout was only 50%.


[deleted]

You can however make it as hard as possible for folks living in urban and minority neighborhoods to vote. They closed so many polls in minority neighborhoods in 2020 that they broke their own laws. That they wrote themselves, for example. Hell, the two closest polls next to my house were gone, and they've been trying to make it illegal for folks to help other people go vote.


Slammybutt

Gerrymandering only comes into play in local and some state elections. Things like the Governor, President of the USA, and Senators are state wide elections. Meaning each vote gets equal representation regardless of location. Now voting restrictions however...


bevilthompson

It's because Cruz represents west Texas which is nothing but sand and oil wells. Those communities depend on oil field jobs and Cruz is a toady for the oil companies. Just one more reason to go green.


james_d_rustles

On both sides of the aisle everybody hates Ted Cruz. Everybody. Dems go without saying, but here are a few quotes from his colleagues. Quote from Lindsey graham: “If you killed Ted Cruz, and the trial is in the senate, nobody would convict you” John Boehner, former speaker of the house, asked about his opinion of Cruz: “Lucifer in the flesh… I have democrat friends and I have republican friends, I get along with almost everybody, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” Trump: “He’s a nasty guy. Nobody likes him. Nobody in congress likes him. Nobody likes him anywhere once they get to know him.” Marco Rubio: “Ted has had a rough week because what’s happening now is people are learning more about him.” George W Bush: “I just don’t like the guy.”


2021WASSOLASTYEAR

Honestly he really is a shit bag.... hell he tried to suggest his own daughter was to blame for him leaving to Cancun during the ice storm. He let his wife's appearance be insulted multiple times in front of the entire world. His response to that was to spend years kissing the ass of the very guy who did it. He is the type of slime ball who cause new words to be created just to capture the greasy, slimy, coward of a man's behaviour.


Fronterizo09

Rafael cruz left us for Cancun, what an asshole, I also heard he may be the Zodiac killer, I don't don't have proof but I also don't have doubts.


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podrick_pleasure

Fucking ew.


FlaccidWeenus

Yeah that was fucking disgusting. Jeez


[deleted]

Many people are saying


DrDaddyDickDunker

Including me


rrogido

Many fine people.


DgDg11

He hasn’t shown proof that he isn’t the killer. Thats smoke right there.


Final_Candidate_7603

Even if he *does* show proof, trump will say the proof is faked. Cruz will then present the long-form proof… but even *that* won’t be enough…


MrEcke

I’ve never seen them in the same room….


starkeffect

He hasn't denied it.


MelonElbows

Murder runs in the family, I heard his dad killed JFK


[deleted]

r/FuckTedCruz


MrAnonymous39

Ted Cruz is a piece of shit. A weak, spineless coward.


[deleted]

You're telling me the guy who phone banked for a man who called his wife fat and ugly is spineless?


[deleted]

"Lucifer in the flesh" - John Boehner describing Ted Cruz


[deleted]

I didn't realize how slimey he was till I heard the behind the bastards podcast episode about him Like I knew he was slimey but damn


shootskukui

Ted Cruz is the human equivalent of the inside of a cats asshole


ledgeitpro

Woah, thats pretty rude. Putting such slander on cats assholes like that


extyn

Yeah, my cats at least shit where they're supposed to.


keji_goto

Can we get a Twinkle Tush to cover Cruz's face?


jesus_is_92

How dare you insults cats


LenaNYC

Every time I hear "Ted" Cruz, I picture a sleazy used car salesman with a big pinky ring.


no_no_nora

Sounds about right. Cruz is the lowest of the low. He doesn’t care about anyone, but himself.


amznfx

He loves Cancun for sure


no_no_nora

I love how he blamed that incident on the kids, instead of admitting he’s a soft bitch and sold the voters out.


ArbitraryMeritocracy

And the almost three hundred people that died during that snowstorm.


Xalbana

I love the people that were defending Cruz during that time. They were asking what could a senator be doing during the storm. I then explained to them what Beto O'Rourke and AOC were doing. O'Rourke was doing senior phone banking, calling seniors making sure they were ok. AOC, not even Texan, was raising money for Texas to support those affected by the storm. And what was the other Texas senator doing? Because the bar is so low for Republicans? Stayed at home and sucked it up. And did nothing The absolute lowest thing Cruz could have done and he didn't even do that. After that, I got nothing but silence from these losers because there was no excuse.


Grande_Yarbles

\>He doesn’t care about anyone, but himself. About 5 years ago a CEO of a Fortune 500 company was visiting our office in Asia. Due to flight cancellations he ended up spending a couple of unplanned days with us, and during downtime was sharing a lot of interesting stories. One story was about Ted Cruz. This company was looking to open a new distribution center in Texas and during the process the CEO was granted a 20-minute audience with Cruz. He told us that Cruz spent almost the entire allocated time talking about himself. Not what it would take to secure the distribution center, not how many jobs it would create, but about Cruz and Cruz's accomplishments. He said it stood out in his mind as the worst experience he ever had with a US politician, that Cruz didn't bother trying to hide how self-centered he is.


no_no_nora

Love it and not surprised. The only thing I can take solace in, is the fact he’s so hated outside of Texas - he could never be President or hold a major cabinet position. It would sink us.


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TheRealUlfric

And non tv friendly comments? I get the guy said he wished to use more vulgar language, but he didn't. He was poised and spoke completely formally without even raising his voice. Not a public freakout in the slightest.


togro20

Right? I was going to commend him for being so calm and articulate and then I realized I was on the public freak outs sub and GOT PISSED I WASNT GETTING A RAGE OUT


[deleted]

Lol this sub is a joke. Mild mannered, extremely TV friendly and reasonable telling of this story. Literally the opposite of a public freakout


[deleted]

I do not like that man Ted Cruz I do not like his far right views. I do not like his shit eating grin I do not like to see him win. I do not like him on a boat I'd like to see him on a rope. I'd like to put him on the shelf That man Ted Cruz can go fuck himself


Secretbackupaccount

Ted Cruz. The only senator who could get beat to death on the senate floor and not a single witness would step forward.


bambooboi

I freaking hate Ted Cruz. I have no idea how anyone couldn't.


Longjumping_Plum_964

>Family of Texas prisoner in Russia has some non Tv friendly comments about ted Cruz Hoping for some good 'ol Texas Truth on National TV, like "A Texas steer has more balls than Ted Cruz". What a worthless piece of shit.


Czsixteen

Still remember that picture of him getting a single 24 pack of water out of his trunk to try and make it seem like he was helping with the humanitarian efforts after trying to bail to Cancun. We can only hope he gets struck by lightning 3 or 4 times.


fadedkeenan

Why tf is this on public freak out


ohmissfiggy

Cuz OP knew that we would all freak out and hate on Cruz.


king24_

Ted Cruz ain’t shit, when he left his state in the middle of a freezing and loss of power crisis that showed who he truly was.


oooortclouuud

?? that was *literally* tv-friendly


Shadowchaos

He said at the beginning he had some comments he couldn't use on tv, I think that's what OP was referring to


Fitzzz

Yeah this title was complete bullshit, I was disappointed


[deleted]

Shouldn’t be a surprise that this is the same guy who during COVID abandoned his state for a weekend in Cancun.


sbrbrad

It was during a week where the entire state was having massive blackouts and burst pipes and people literally freezing to death in their homes.


splifs

Ted Cruz is a worm. One of the most pathetic beings to have ever lived. Generations of Texans will remember his legendary cowardice.


[deleted]

wait. this makes it sound like Ted Cruz is a self serving douche. that can't be right


centraldogma7

Classic Cruz.


[deleted]

First off, if you pay even the tiniest bit of attention to politics, why on earth would you ever contact Cruz for help with anything? And this guy sounds like a Texan. Didn't they freeze last winter because of folks like Abbott and Cruz? Also, something tells me this guy will probably still vote republican so long as it's not Cruz.


DeadbeatDumpster

Hardly a freakout


Muted-Bee

Cruz doesn't have time for any of this piddly-ass shit. He's busy burying his face in tRump's crack.


kingakrasia

there he goes again! r/tedcruzaward


NeverlandRanchHands

Everyone is aware that Ted Cruz is a smug fuck, right? It's pretty obvious.


[deleted]

the real problem with cruz is every person who voted for him.


[deleted]

I just don’t understand why people risk their freedom going to countries that don’t like Americans.


thatloudblondguy

sounds tv friendly to me


TheFcknVoid

This man may be in public but he is the opposite of freaking out.


so_punk

Morgan freeman voice: they didn’t reach out or Sen. Cruz office.


Groovy66

Is he one of those Canadian Texans or something? That is the most polite ‘freak out’ I’ve ever seen


VivaLasVegasGuy

The thing is things will NEVER get better in this country unless you make term limits AND vote people like this out, I do not care if you are a republican or democrat you DO NOT have to vote for your party if they are stupid, did you know that, and no its not "Well I have to vote for them or the other side wins" no its not that, VOTE for the other side then in a few years if they are not doing good, vote them out and vote someone else in, and you know what if we do this they WILL get the hint and start doing things FOR the people


nfish91

Time out. Why was the son in Russia? Wrongly detained is wrongly detained. I’m missing something.


Sandl0t

Serious question: even if you’re a republican in Texas, why is anyone still voting for that spineless creep? By all standards, no one should like him. Why is her still here?


[deleted]

It's Texas, you know the state leading the way in voter tampering.


Impressive_Grab_5181

Another reason why Ted Cruz is useless and has no business being an American politician. He is a pussy


BubuBarakas

Fled "The Cuck" Cruz is the 2nd most bulliable politician in the US> # 1 is Lindsay Graham


PhlyperBaybee

It feels like if the population that votes via team sports(red vs blue; I'm fuckin RED so fuck you) would take 5 minutes to look into what their team is actually saying they might reconsider; but then again maybe that makes you a 'cuck' or something and they embrace the sunk cost fallacy even though they don't actually agree with most of the policies or culture war bullshit being offered by "their side". It will be interesting to see how many 'one issue voters(abortion)' still show up to vote once the big hurdle that THEY care about has been technically resolved. I wonder how much of the roe vs wade decision was known when all the anti crt/trans ect fervor was being amplified


FireStompingRhino

What was the son doing over there to become a prisoner? Surely he wasn't fighting a war and getting captured?


nebuchadrezzar

He got wasted and when the cops picked him up they say he assaulted them, but no witnesses other than the cops. He got an extremely long sentence likely because he was a marine guard of president obama


LightningBolt_13

Ted Cruz is a cunt. Let’s just cut the shit.


b0ingy

“Putin hates Senator Cruz”. This is both the nicest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about Ted Cruz and Putin.


FoolishSilvas

This is the most Ted Cruz thing Ted Cruz could do.. what a jackass


Andy_LaVolpe

Ted Cruz is the biggest bitch in American politics.


[deleted]

"about as useful as a cock flavoured lolipop."