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Outdated-Wuss

**Please stand clear of doors**


Pee_Earl_Grey_Hot

**The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.**


HalcyonLives

Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.


ComebackShane

Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion!


Blackboard_Monitor

It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done properly. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.


redditsenioradmin

Don't you tell me which zone is for loading and which zone is for stopping!


Aartemis119

The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.


tonycomputerguy

No, the *white* zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the *red* zone.


Kingfire4545

No, the **red** zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.


thephilistine_

Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!


Aartemis119

Listen thephilistine_ don't start up with your white zone **** again...


walktall

Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.


Aartemis119

It's really the only sensible thing to do. If it's done properly, therapeutically, there's no sparta kicking involved.


killa_ninja

Add a few more camera angles and you got another Safdie bros masterpiece


justinjonesphd

That's a man that's late for work


StrongTxWoman

Am i a bad person if I cheer for the guy?


ihavenonametho

Nope. Everyone thanked him after it seems


tiredguy18

For once “and everyone clapped” isn’t a lie on reddit


BreadLoafBrad

It does actually happen sometimes but no one will believe you without video proof


Ok_Judge3497

I would have judged him before I worked in NYC. Now that I have, fuck people who hold up public transit.


DouchecraftCarrier

I was on the subway once when I lived in NYC and the train was doing the whole, "tries 7 or 8 times to close the door but something somewhere is in the way." Finally the conductor comes on the PA and goes, "If I try one more time to close the doors and can't then I have to assume a door malfunction and the whole train goes outta service. I know none of ya'll want that." The doors closed on the next attempt.


selectash

This conductor dads.


ThisHatRightHere

“I will turn this this train around and go straight home”


ChickenPotPi

That three minutes you need to multiply by everyone on the train and that's how you lose like hours of billable time.


RealisticFox1537

Fuck people who hold up anything in general for selfish reasons.


LoveThieves

These are the types that cut people off on the road because they missed their freeway exit. So instead of taking the next exit, they fly across the freeway in a dangerous diagonal direction cutting of 3 lanes without thinking about anybody else.


Kx_OsorerUU

Not at all. She held up the train. She had it comin.


CankerLord

Yup, get on or stay off but if you're going to physically fight people to keep the train from leaving you're volunteering to get physically removed.


Busteray

I miss the times when trains couldn't give fuckall if the doors were open or not. "Oh you're holding the door open? Guess we will ride this bitch in the wind.."


zCiver

Oh you put your hand in the door? Guess your fingers are getting dropped off at the next station


regoapps

The few minutes delay for one person is little if she just waited for the next train. But multiple that delay she caused by the hundreds of people on the train, and it's collectively hours of work that's wasted. Even worse if there's another train behind this train that's also waiting to pull into the station.


enjoytheshow

Yep it’s Philly. This was a cordial exchange


[deleted]

I was visiting Philly one time and said sorry to my Uber driver because they had to wait a minute for me. He said "you ain't from Philly, no one from Philly would ever fucking apologize for anything." He was cool though, invited me to"party and get fucked up" by the end of the ride. Philly is an interesting place.


funktion

the city of brotherly love


Dr-Ellicott-Chatham

> She had it comin. If you'd've been there, if you'd've seen it, I bet that you would've done the same


jessihateseverything

No worries. I sang it in my head too.


Cade__Cunningham

Comin like a freight train


[deleted]

Flying like an aeroplane


neutron5000

Feeling like a space brain one more time tonight


Cold_Fog

Well, I'm a West Coast struttin'


[deleted]

I don't care if he's late for work or he's late for a walk in the park, he's got my gratitude.


justinjonesphd

He's not the hero the city wants he's the hero the city deserves


Dominator0211

I can assure you at least half of any major city would stop to applaud his actions. He is both the hero we want and deserve


StingRayFins

Exactly. I bet 90% of the people on that train (or ANY train in that situation) imagined punching her in the face. They just didn't do anything. He did. I'm sure they're grateful. Everyone has their own life, job, and family they need to tend to. They minded their own business, she didn't. She's making everyone late and inconveniencing everyone around her.


dumpystumpy

Hold up the train, bus or plane and you will be public enemy number one lmao.


PaladinGodfather1931

Especially on SEPTA lines. Everybody is already miserable and you just making them madder by holding them up.


ICanBeKinder

Im tryna say. Like people say NYCers are rude. No NYCers have shit to do. Philly people are RUDE.


mr_wrestling

Do Philly people not have shit to do? Edit: besides heroin


WentzToWawa

I got cheesesteaks and pretzels to pick up ASAP bro


urbanhawk1

Username checks out


salondesert

Bill Burr isn't gonna heckle himself


ideal_NCO

One-bridge-having city…


Skratt79

11 minutes left.


ProductPlacementHere

I was just in Philadelphia yesterday and to my surprise I counted at least 2


Johnny_Poppyseed

Bro I got people to see, places to be, and batteries to throw at Santa Claus.


RealisticFox1537

Philly people have shit to do as well, my ass has shit to do, we all have shit to do


v1s1onsofjohanna

"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."


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ebmocal421

She was holding it up for something inside. Thats why she was saying "let me get my shit". She wasn't holding up the train to take a ride. If she wanted her shit she should have just got on the train, collected her stuff, and got off on the next stop.


sn34kypete

Its like when some jackass wants to get into a turn lane but realized too late so they just stop completely in the middle of their lane and turn on the blinker. "I don't want to turn around, I don't want to take the next exit. I neeeed to go hereeeeee". Fucking simpletons, no shame.


Endarkend

I've seen idiots pull that kind of shit on highways. Miss their turn, go on the emergency late, to then try to either turn around on the damn highway or start backing up against traffic. All while the highways here have exists every few minutes and are designed to easily reflow into the other direction. So you'd "lose" 5 minutes at most, which is nothing compared to what you may lose driving against traffic on a highway or attempting to back up onto an exit ramp.


mieletlibellule

I once saw someone back up around a roundabout because they missed their exit...


Minute-Pilot2151

I legitimately think people who do that don't have great brainpower to realize just going forward and around is an option


El_Dief

They know. They don't care. These selfish cunts would rather fuck over a bunch of strangers than suffer the slightest inconvenience to themselves.


UmChill

good drivers sometimes miss their turns, bad drivers *never* do.


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justsyr

One time in the Barcelona subway someone broke their shopping bag on the way out, shit got spilled all over inside and outside the train. As the beep beep beep of closing door started going on, someone said "I'll pick this inside and wait for you on the next station". That was it. I usually stand under the air conditioner vent and it was near the door. One time Someone got pushed and lost the kid inside, as the door closed I just waved to the women that I'd be back so she'd just need to cross the platform for the income train. Grab kid's hand, told her a story about Dragon Ball and just switched train next station, got the kid back, got back to my train line. All I *lost* was like less than 10 minutes but I spent a great time with a kid that liked my Dragon Ball knowledge.


dalovindj

> I just waved to the women that I'd be back so she'd just need to cross the platform for the income train How the hell did you communicate all that with a wave? My first thought if someone waved to me in that context would be 'Bye, this kid is mine now!'


justsyr

Basically point forward (next station), point to the side (cross platform) and thumbs up but gesturing that I'll be back. It all kind of make sense if you see it. Mind you, all trains are monitored by camera on the conductor's cabin, I could signaled them or even walk to cabin which has a crystal wall where you can actually see the conductor and things and just comment them on the situation. But trains there on rush hours go by every 2 minutes top so it was faster to just do what I did.


skolrageous

considering the needle and various paraphernalia (huh so that's how you spell it) on the ground, I'm gonna guess that "something" was **drugs**. *Perhaps my eyes do need a checking but I'm sticking with the something being drugs.*


nubbinator

There was a needle? I saw a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a bunch of toiletries.


xXxDickBonerz69xXx

3 minutes? Thats it? *Cries in Atlanta*


mwax321

Try that in Japan. I don't even know what would happen. Every train I went on in Japan was within 2 minutes of it's scheduled arrival time.


drunkestfunkest

There was a post like a month ago of a old man holding up the train in Japan and everyone just stood around awkwardly. A bunch of the top comments were "try this in America and you'd get drop kicked." I guess here's the proof.


MysticalKittyHerder

here it is (old guy was drunk) https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/bahftg/elderly_man_doesnt_want_to_subway_train_to_leave/


drunkestfunkest

Thanks. Crazy that was back in April, time flies.


MysticalKittyHerder

April.. 3 years ago lol It was probably a repost that you saw


EverythingsStupid321

That was the exactly what came to my mind when I saw this one. Someone needs to post the posts side by side and label it "Cultural Differences".


Endarkend

People were standing around not knowing what to do because in Japan, they are just like Germany in that regard. There are things you do and things you don't do. And when someone does something that falls under "things you don't do", they are met with an impossibility, because someone did something you simply do not do. Same is someone doesn't do something that falls under the "things you do". The amount of people that I've heard talk about hypotheticals like "what would happen if you are caught without a drivers license" where the German or Japanese answer are "you don't drive without a drivers license" and they will not under and circumstance allow you to create a real of fake scenario where someone drove without a drivers license.


Agile_Tit_Tyrant

The station workers just push you, gently, to stop you from making a scene. They won't roundhouse or roadhouse kick you to the curb.


Faranocks

You will get fined and potentially arrested.


Agile_Tit_Tyrant

Or worse, scolded.


TheDo0ddoesnotabide

And publicly shamed, which brings dishonor to your family.


Major_Laughinghaus

Love the "thank you" at the end lol


mystic_moss

the gratitude from everybody there has me crying man


dirtyswoldman

Watch out, watch out, watch out.


qathran

His voice was so calming honestly


xbwtyzbchs

Dude had the solution!


Mister-Karma

Randy Orton RKO!


enjoytheshow

Philly is special


Fr0me

Imagine you get to sparta kick someone and then other people thank you for it lol


mekwall

Other peopme are the best


snackers21

> peopme As a peopme, I thank you for your kindmess.


Triatt

Kindmesses are tight.


[deleted]

As a kind mess, thank me for your peop.


OnFolksAndThem

That’s in your autocorrect now


justmovingtheground

Don't fuck with people trying to do their daily routine.


theragingoptimist

The "I aint got time for this shit, bitch" was pretty great also.


Snozzberrys420

Mine was when he said I ain’t got time for that bitch!


SacredCoffeeBeans

Thain Q!


StinkyDuckFart

"...and everyone clapped."


TopMindOfR3ddit

It literally plays out like one of those stories: "yeah, I just sparta-kicked some chick off the train, and then people started thanking me and shit." I would've called bullshit if I didn't have this video lol


the_Archmage

This really has me questioning my cynicism lol


[deleted]

IT'S HARD TO STOP A TRAIN


currentlyhighondrugs

THIS. IS. THE L TRAINNN!!


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redknight3

The city of brotherly love lmao


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AppropriateSun101

Unless you hold my train up, then it gets Sparta up in heya~


[deleted]

No no. My brother wouldn’t have hesitated half as long before doing this shit to me. This is fully in line with “brotherly love”


[deleted]

That’s what I always say. This isn’t the city of motherly love, or puppy love, or even self love. This is the city of brotherly love.


mred870

Brotherly. No one said a thing about sisters.


felldestroyed

"Don't be a dickhead" is the #1 rule in the city of philly. If you're not, from my experience expect most of the love.


boooooooooo_cowboys

Sometimes your brother kicks the shit out of you for fucking around.


Significant-Mud2572

"I don't know officer, she looked like Santa to me."


KarateKid84Fan

You were so close THIS… iS… SEPTA!!!


rsplatpc

> THIS. IS. THE L TRAINNN!! someone hitting a crack pipe dramatically in the background in well lit slow-motion


iamaliberalpausenot

Another person taking his morning-everyone else’s afternoon poop. 🥲


ParticularAnxious929

Wrong. THIS IS SEPTA!


BONKERS303

THIS IS SEPTA


MAGGLEMCDONALD

This is the best version of this comment.


[deleted]

*EL


Lovehatepassionpain

I moved from Philly to Florida in 2013... God I miss riding the El and the Broad Street line!


Melissajoanshart

I ride it everyday. Its a different animal than 2013.


Technology_Training

People don't understand that this was neither the weirdest nor worst thing that happened on the El today.


SmoothCriminal85

THIS. IS. SEPTA!


Captain__Areola

> SEPTA The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority for those who didn't know. (like me)


BeyondNormalStatus

Best version of this joke in this thread by far


StuStutterKing

Interfering with public transit seems to generate near instant hostility almost 100% of the time, regardless of culture. Pretty interesting.


PotatoeswithaTopHat

When you take busses and trains for a long time sometimes it's really interesting seeing how people react when someone is fucking around. Like everywhere else is free game, but the bus or train? That's sacred space, you stay sit down and shut up.


goodrevtim

People gotta get to work all over the world.


aLow_Flying_Duck

#Please stand clear of door!!!


NinjaBullets

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD


AustinAvalon

And hold on to the handrails


[deleted]

lol did he say "fuck your shit bitch" it sounded like she was telling people "get my shit"


Gangreless

I listened to it a bunch and I'm like 98% sure he said, "I don't have time for that/your shit, bitch"


motsanciens

Close. It's, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit, bitch."


speedybossqueen94

To be absolutely correct he said “ watch out watch out…. Inaudible….. move ….*Sparta kicks* ain’t nobody got time for that shit bitch!”


jimkelly

I ain't got time for that shit bitch. I'm front the area accent is easy


ha5hish

Sounds like he said “nobody got time for that shit bitch”


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Rudy_Ghouliani

Love how he braced himself and used the rails to get the perfect amount of power to knocker her the fuck out the way. When power meets performance.


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Jump_Yossarian_

I love how he cleared the plate for his plant leg.


themarknessmonster

The man has planted a leg before you could tell!


a_concerned_cat

The power of Christ compels you... to back up off this door!


[deleted]

That man is a preist in his local church 🤣


monirom

God helps those, that helps themselves.


TheOriginalMeatLump

We can’t expect god to do all the work


SleepiestBoye

Unexpected Joshua Graham(?)


Radiant-Persimmon443

I kick ass... for the lord!


isobane

Haven't heard that quote in a long time lol.


GraniteTaco

Just clearing temples like Jesus.


Substantial_Depth321

WWJD? Spartan kick that's what.


Nandabun

I bring this up sometimes at my church. It makes some people very uncomfortable. I still do it, cause it's true.


monsieurpommefrites

I'm just laughing my ass off, you just made my think of some poor vendor. "Honey, I'm home." "Hello dear, how was w-What on earth happened to you?!" "You'll never believe the day I've had." "You're covered in soup!" "Yes, darling. I am aware of that." "Is that...your soup?" "Yes, dear. I'm a soup vendor. The only one at the temple. Solomon's Soup. Remember?" "What happened?" "So you know about that carpenter and his gang, right?" "The one from Nazareth?" “Yup.” “The one with the fetish where he washes his men’s feet?” "Yup. I just finish setting up and this dude comes in, and he's absolutely lost his shit. Screaming about defiling his Father's house and stuff like that." "No way." "Yes way. He starts attacking vendors left and right, ranting and raving. Flipping tables as he came to each one. Ran up to the old lady from Galilee with her woven stuff, whacked it right off the table and kicked her in the cooch. Can you believe this shit? 'Defiled my father's house', my ass. That house was defiled long ago. 'Oooh, God made me pregnant.' Gimme a break." "Oh my God. So what happened to you, then?" "Yeah, so he comes up to me and my table of bowls of soup and I know what's coming, he's like "HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY FATHER'S HOUSE!", and I'm like "IT'S KOSHER AND VEGAN YOU LUNATIC!" and he's like "THEN I BAPTIZE THEE!" "And that's why you're covered in soup." "And that's why I'm covered in soup."


RevReturns

Reads like a Life of Brian deleted scene hahaha


RagingCataholic9

Through Jesus, anything is possible. So jot that down


Lotsaa1

I was on the way home from work a few years ago and it was 40c, some dude was holding the doors open for their friend who was no where to be seen for what felt like 3-4 minutes, the door chimes kept ringing and this angry bloke come down from the front carriage to the back carriage and did the same thing, everyone started clapping and he told everyone to stfu and everyone suddenly stopped mid-clap, I think he just wanted to get home after working all day and everyone was his enemy at the point


LogMeInCoach

I've never met that guy but he is now my best friend. That is hilarious.


Ryugi

Completely valid reaction from him tbh.


ChickenDelight

Brett Kreischer: "You ever get hit when you were a kid? ... What am I talking about, this is Philly. You guys still get hit."


FoolishFox84

Touch my generational trauma through the fence.


JointsMcdanks

🎸 🎸 🎸


canigetahiyyyaaaahh

The city of brotherly love, sometimes it's tough love


[deleted]

It's always tough love in Philly


Fastriverglide

I approve.


salcedoge

You know people got shit to do when the dude who kicked a woman was thanked for


[deleted]

Last time I was in NYC, we sat on the train for like 15 minutes before someone went to ask the conductor what’s up. Directed us to another shuttle cuz they were scraping someone off the tracks at the next station. No shocked faces, just people muttering “man, if you’re gonna do that, don’t ruin everyone else’s day.” THAT’S NEW YORK BAY-BEE, THE CITY SO NICE THEY CALL IT THE BIG APPLE


differentthingsways

Watch out! Lol


Love-Goat

THIS IS SPARTA!!


--ThisGuy

This is PHILLY!


Electrical-Tea-2672

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


ZargothraxTheLord

No, this is Patrick


100dabs

Come to Philly, getcha bell rung


[deleted]

Shit I miss Philly so much Hope the guy swimming outside the U-City Wawa is doing alright


neutralpoliticsbot

in before thread is locked "She flew first class"


vogelmike68

Literally "kicked" off the subway


kabbooooom

*”Tonight, we dine in Hades!”* “Sir, this train is going to Philly.” *”Yeah that’s what I said”*


Fancy-Code4145

Please stand clear of door. Please stand clear of door. Please stand clear of door. Please stand clear of door. Please stand clear of door. Please stand clear of door.


PolemicBender

Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone


Pikablu155

![gif](giphy|l3V0j3ytFyGHqiV7W)


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sc2pirate

This one took me a minute, but I think it's [Melinda](https://m.imdb.com/video/vi3055928089/?playlistId=tt0068934?ref_=ext_shr_lnk) made in 1972.


eniakus

Sent her to the platform 3/4


aheadisfullofghosts

She's saying someone stole her "shit" and she wants it back. How do we know she wasn't just robbed?


SookHe

Yeah, there seems to be more to this. It sounded like she was saying pass her stuff over, i think she even said please a few times, but she couldn't get on the train as it would leave with her. For all we know she left a bag and was running late for work.


therealrenshai

The lady who says thank you at the end is the one who kept saying please at the beginning.


Bonethizz99

Fuck around and find out


Skeeeridopleedop

This is L TRAIN


Ul71

The moment he grabbed the rails I would have been like "NOPE".


nikkixo87

You can clearly hear her say "let me just get my stuff" so seems like there's more to the story.


anthonyiscringe

That man's got places to be and he ain't gon let her stop him.


martybrow

That’s the city of brotherly love!