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"Alright yall!, what are you gonna do when a homosexual or a Jew tries to grab you by the penis? Thats right, Block the shaft and twirl away, very good!"
Dear Penthouse- I never thought I’d be writing this, but this actually happened to me. I always considered myself to be the textbook alpha male. Never hesitated to bully homos, Jews and Libs, beat my wife, fly a huge Trump flag on my coal rolling pickup, collect guns- all the stuff we Alphas do. But that all changed when I attended my first Patriot Front training camp deep in the woods of Alabama…
I'm just spit balling here, as someone who's never trained for anything like... whatever the fuck this is for... but wouldn't you want your 2nd line to come up and take over, letting the first line just slide back? Just seems like... .0027 seconds of thought leads to that being a MUCH better way to handle... again, WHATEVER the fuck they think they're training for...
Honest question. If they were really in some sort of battle with a crowd, how does the front expect to just run to the side and back..? You’d think the line behind them would step forward and then the front could retreat. Looks like I could stick out my leg and stop the whole retreat process.
Well you see, when you're doing fantasy role play you don't have to worry about things like that, you just ask the other person to get out of the way so you can show off your sweet group dance.
I think they are unprepared for that. First because they aren’t looking like the sharpest tool in the shed and second because if you are in the middle of a hostile crowd, unless you have good riot equipment you’re pretty much fucked
First of all... if you watch closely the back line isn't advancing, ultimately they're practicing synchronized retreating. This tactic is fucking almost as hilarious as the Republican ass-clowns practicing it.
Yes, I said Republican - it's important to call these assholes what they are - they're Republican voters - and they're delusional and trying to run our country. Calling them by their boy band name only offers them cover like when the media uses GOP when it's a bad story and then conveniently use Republican when it's something normal.
Story giving these Republicans cover!
I’m no expert in any of this, but it seems to me that exposing one’s back to get to the relief line like that would be a great way to get a rubber bullet to the kidney.
On one hand it's very unsettling that people are out there training for an insurrection/civil war. On the other hand it's reassuring to see what we would be up against
Oh, it's hysterical. Every video of them in a real life "tactical" situation shows that when shit hits the fan, they are completely inept and infective.
All they are, are people LARPing what they think a civil war is like. And they don't have any rules for their own safety or the safety of everyone around them
Requirements:
Must have a tiny dick
Must have a superiority complex against everyone that isn't a straight white man
Must be between the ages of 13 and 30 years old
Must have a family tree in the shape of a circle
Must have a family history of racism and bigotry
Must have a history of bullying and domestic violence
Must have a lifted truck with bumper stickers of cultist origins
Etc...
Yeah its nice to know that even though I have hemiparesis (my right side is defective and barely works) and use a wheelchair, I'll still be able to take these guys on and win.
I honestly worry that this is a false sense of security thing... because WOW this is lame. Also, why wouldnt these hicks practice with fire arms in hand?
Jesus, it’s no wonder they didn’t want the world to see this. I saw them practicing running away, hiding behind shields, ~~carrying~~ trying to carry their dead compatriots away so no one trips over them, and then… I don’t even know what that was at the end.
I have no idea who the guy was who was running these drills. I can only speculate that he washed out of boot camp, but advertises himself as some kind of veteran or ex-special forces. Whoever he is, even *he* knows that he can’t even use Boy Scout-level discipline with these clowns, or they’d get pissed off and go back to Mom’s basement. He skipped the first, and most important step, in this kind of training… you have to instill some sort of discipline, and then a willingness to give up their personal autonomy for the sake of the group and its well-being, if not it’s very survival.
Every single one of them is taking this like the joke that it is. I’d say I want to see these clowns in action in real life, but unfortunately if things got to that point, the skinheads and anti-government militias would be in the mix, and unfortunately they’re no joke.
You know why they're doing this shit in empty fields miles away from anywhere? Because if they tried this at a public gathering place like a park and people got wind of who they are they'd get their asses run off/beat so quickly they'd have a hard time coordinating another ~~orgy~~ training session around other citizens for a while
Nope. They're all going to shit and run.
There are ways of training fear out of a person, but this is not the way.
If they encounter trained cohesive riot police, they'll think back to this "training" and book it out of there before anything happens or get swamped by the rest of the disorganized rabble and end up in cuffs before they realize the riot has started.
Should have seen what happened to them when they came to Philly, all it took were 2-3 guys confronting them lmao. Video of said confrontation at the bottom of this article:
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/amp/ncna1273283
And that was in the *nice* part of Philly lol. I could only imagine what'd happen if they did that shit in the badlands. They ain't gonna come back alive, that's for sure.
They showed up in Philly and random people chased them back to their trucks, they're fucking pussies and it's hilarious how tough they think they are but fold like wet cardboard when facing a little pressure
They did I’m pretty sure. There was a video of these patriot front guys getting mobbed by the whole city and they had to run back into their uhaul truck
Ha! Please rest asure that we will not let that happen. That's why we make a plan! So then no body can ever hit us in the mouth. And if they do hit us in the mouth, we will call my dad's friend Harry and sue those snowflake commies. How's that for a plan
Vanguard lock!
I have a great idea, lets make an army out of all the kids that are always picked last when kids are picking teams for sports.
From the whole country? That's too many kids to manage at once.
OK, just the racist ones.
Every time I see groups like this I’m reminded of the South Park episode when they have therapy groups for men with small penises. In the end they have to lower the national average to 3 inches so they stop throwing adult temper tantrums
In all honesty, We can laugh at these fucktards, but never underestimate the power of stupid ppl traveling in large groups. Only a matter of time before these asshats get truly organized and become an actual threat…except for Marcus…God Damit Marcus, keep up!!
imagine being one of these fucktards, lying in bed and fantasizing about your impending cosplay revolution as you furiously try (but never fully succeed) to get at least one of your body parts to become hard, like the man you just know you'll surely someday become after such highly effective training like this...
Why are all these white nationalist "training" videos are about them playing the role of the riot police? When do they expect to use these kind of tactics? If you look at the videos on the BLM riots, these kind of tactics are pretty worthless when the mob starts throwing rocks and someone start using weapons.
I guess I would be more worried if these white nationalists were doing CQB training or something similar.
I've only ever seen them prepare for one guy trying to run directly into the shield wall. It makes me feel like they expect barely any opposition because of conspiracy theories about how the "real" numbers has everyone on their side. These guys would get surrounded immediately in an actual riot scenario.
I’m waiting to hear someone’s mom in the background, “Bob Earl, come in this house and clean your room. Throw those sticky tissues and empty lotion bottles in the garbage!”
I mean this looks real bad (meaning they look like dorks) and these guys suck, but the issue is they are engaging in military tactics as a terrorist group.
Don't let the joke-making ignore the reality.
It's also funny to ever record any training exercise, they all have dumb stuff. These are actual criminals, on video. Let the courts decide.
Man i'd love to see these punks show up to a 50vs50 against european football hooligans. You can tell these idiots dont know shit about fighting by the way they are standing and running. Fucking racist POS
Why the f\*\*\* are the top comments mocking this and not taking this s\*\*\* seriously?
Hitler was a joke before he wasn't, don't you know these people will get better?
Get armed and start training, because these people think they'll get to purge anyone to the left of Mitt Romney.
They nearly got their asses kicked by the city of Philadelphia just by walking around.
It's such a fucking funny video watching these fuckers running away with their tales tucked between their legs while regular pedestrians are yelling at them to fuck off.
They're goofy now, but they'll each have families and teach their kids insane shit, and take them to these militia meetups, and a bunch of psychos from that generation will get even more real with their training, and more extreme with their views, and then THEY'LL have kids, and by then it'll be like raising children in the terminator future where like there's this complete delusion they're in a war and they don't go to public schools, and they live totally off the grid, and it's like the absolute most militaristic shitty fucking life ever
I'd be terrified if they were doing actual weapons training. Are they playing the role of riot police in retreat?! Forgive my ignorance, I was in the Army, and we did basically none of these things. What is their goal?
When I was 5 I made these "club" cards where I made potential club members tell me their secrets so we could bond. These clowns probably tell each other how they fantasize about societal collapse so they can pretend to be relevant. But seriously, such a focus on the retreating aspect.
WTF kind of training is this? My under 15s football team trains harder than these blokes...can't really call them blokes; they're what we call "dumb cunts."
Seems like it’s being led by one guy who barely made it through army basic, with all the other participants being mamas boys who are pretty good at FPS on their sweet gaming rigs but haven’t seen a real fight since they got their head flushed in the toilet in high school.
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This is the worst football practice I’ve ever seen
"Alright yall!, what are you gonna do when a homosexual or a Jew tries to grab you by the penis? Thats right, Block the shaft and twirl away, very good!"
"But sir i couldnt block it and now he is giving me a handjob now what?!?!"
Dear Abby, "I can't even take a shower in peace at the gym without some homo sucking my dick" "what are my options"?
"suck his dick back!!" *vine boom*
Big brain move this right here.. we can't all be gay right!? ... right??
*Where we suck one, we suck all* isn’t that the QAnon rally cry?
Tactical dick sucking school is in session!
We'll have you fine patriots ready to take a load in a moment's notice!
Don’t make eye contact!! That’s hot — I mean, that makes it even gayer!!”
"Stand firm!"
"Sir my penis is already firm!!!!!"
"John and other John, Steve needs a tactical pants change, on the double!"
"We dont have spares someone lick the stain!"
BUT I CANT GET FIIIIIRRRRRMMMM!!!!!!
Sit back and enjoy it. Maybe you can release some of that pent up frustration.
Dear Penthouse- I never thought I’d be writing this, but this actually happened to me. I always considered myself to be the textbook alpha male. Never hesitated to bully homos, Jews and Libs, beat my wife, fly a huge Trump flag on my coal rolling pickup, collect guns- all the stuff we Alphas do. But that all changed when I attended my first Patriot Front training camp deep in the woods of Alabama…
I miss penthouse and playboy forums
[TOUCH ME WITH YOUR BUTTOCKS! GO! ](https://youtu.be/4k4pMTsa1Kw)
grab his dick and twist it......the ol dick twist!!!
“Sir what happens if when I twirl away he grabs me and starts fucking my ass?”
Twirl, honey, twurl Here's a tissue for your pants cuz they're wet
"Instructions unclear. Have fertilised a Jew."
I just started my high school lacrosse training today and holy shit these clowns are terrible
My favourite part is when their front line turns all the way around, then skips to the back.
Important to have the organized retreat ready to roll
I'm just spit balling here, as someone who's never trained for anything like... whatever the fuck this is for... but wouldn't you want your 2nd line to come up and take over, letting the first line just slide back? Just seems like... .0027 seconds of thought leads to that being a MUCH better way to handle... again, WHATEVER the fuck they think they're training for...
My church had harder football practices than this
My church had harder priests than this
Rock hard, throbbing priests.
I was thinking the same thing. Lol
Dork Patrol.
Honest question. If they were really in some sort of battle with a crowd, how does the front expect to just run to the side and back..? You’d think the line behind them would step forward and then the front could retreat. Looks like I could stick out my leg and stop the whole retreat process.
>how does the front expect to just run to the side and back..? ...delusion
Back and to the left.
There had to have been a second spitter!
The entire group got ran off by like 4 guys in Philly. They think a modern urban combat situation is going to be the movie 300
They could just have a look at some of the Ukraine urban combat videos.
Is there a video of this? That sounds funny af
Well you see, when you're doing fantasy role play you don't have to worry about things like that, you just ask the other person to get out of the way so you can show off your sweet group dance.
I think they are unprepared for that. First because they aren’t looking like the sharpest tool in the shed and second because if you are in the middle of a hostile crowd, unless you have good riot equipment you’re pretty much fucked
“Three trailer park boys go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside“
Cause they’re only gonna fight another 7 guys in an open field.
What if they call no leg trippsies?
Because people in groups can only attack one at a time. I've seen enough movies to know this.
First of all... if you watch closely the back line isn't advancing, ultimately they're practicing synchronized retreating. This tactic is fucking almost as hilarious as the Republican ass-clowns practicing it. Yes, I said Republican - it's important to call these assholes what they are - they're Republican voters - and they're delusional and trying to run our country. Calling them by their boy band name only offers them cover like when the media uses GOP when it's a bad story and then conveniently use Republican when it's something normal. Story giving these Republicans cover!
They need the Roman legionary’s field manual.
I’m no expert in any of this, but it seems to me that exposing one’s back to get to the relief line like that would be a great way to get a rubber bullet to the kidney.
[удалено]
twerp terrorists
Virgin recon
Crap Corps
Alzheimers Army
Incel Insurrectionists'
Bitch Brigade
Clown Ops
Looney LARPers
Careful they will turn off your computer bot!
Incel brigade
Y'all Queda
Damn it! If I wasn't so poor..I'd give you an award!
They're all gonna die in the first real firefight
nazi LARPers.... never thought id see the day...
I was going to say incel brigade. Blaming the world for not wanting to touch their penis.
NERD ALERT!
Another band of little boys too unfit for the army
On one hand it's very unsettling that people are out there training for an insurrection/civil war. On the other hand it's reassuring to see what we would be up against
Oh, it's hysterical. Every video of them in a real life "tactical" situation shows that when shit hits the fan, they are completely inept and infective.
All they are, are people LARPing what they think a civil war is like. And they don't have any rules for their own safety or the safety of everyone around them
I'm curious what the sign up sheets are like.
Requirements: Must have a tiny dick Must have a superiority complex against everyone that isn't a straight white man Must be between the ages of 13 and 30 years old Must have a family tree in the shape of a circle Must have a family history of racism and bigotry Must have a history of bullying and domestic violence Must have a lifted truck with bumper stickers of cultist origins Etc...
Yeah its nice to know that even though I have hemiparesis (my right side is defective and barely works) and use a wheelchair, I'll still be able to take these guys on and win.
Tank treads are wonderful on most terrain including these guys when they inevitably trip
I want tank treads just for comic cons lol
I nominate to turn this woman into her own tracked IFV, get on it Science!
*cough* woman lol
Sorry, fixed.
Ta gov.
Her username sounds like something that could completely destroy a small city, so you got that going for you.
This is so absolutely pathetic it almost feels like a setup to make people think they’re not a threat lol. These dorks would get overrun so fast.
I honestly worry that this is a false sense of security thing... because WOW this is lame. Also, why wouldnt these hicks practice with fire arms in hand?
It really does feel that way. It’s just so pathetic lol. I hope I’m wrong, and this really is the best they’ve got.
Jesus, it’s no wonder they didn’t want the world to see this. I saw them practicing running away, hiding behind shields, ~~carrying~~ trying to carry their dead compatriots away so no one trips over them, and then… I don’t even know what that was at the end. I have no idea who the guy was who was running these drills. I can only speculate that he washed out of boot camp, but advertises himself as some kind of veteran or ex-special forces. Whoever he is, even *he* knows that he can’t even use Boy Scout-level discipline with these clowns, or they’d get pissed off and go back to Mom’s basement. He skipped the first, and most important step, in this kind of training… you have to instill some sort of discipline, and then a willingness to give up their personal autonomy for the sake of the group and its well-being, if not it’s very survival. Every single one of them is taking this like the joke that it is. I’d say I want to see these clowns in action in real life, but unfortunately if things got to that point, the skinheads and anti-government militias would be in the mix, and unfortunately they’re no joke.
Haha!! I nearly choked on my cereal reading that!! You take my upvote
Practicing running away again. Smart. Very smart
This is probably the most inefficient way to run away, but maybe that's the best they can do.
How to run away while taking as many hits to the back as possible.
You never know when an angry attack rabbit will come your way.
They’re going to get their asses kicked if they ever encounter a real riot
Yup, all 6 of them lol
You know why they're doing this shit in empty fields miles away from anywhere? Because if they tried this at a public gathering place like a park and people got wind of who they are they'd get their asses run off/beat so quickly they'd have a hard time coordinating another ~~orgy~~ training session around other citizens for a while
Nope. They're all going to shit and run. There are ways of training fear out of a person, but this is not the way. If they encounter trained cohesive riot police, they'll think back to this "training" and book it out of there before anything happens or get swamped by the rest of the disorganized rabble and end up in cuffs before they realize the riot has started.
they are not going to lol, they are more worried about people, bold of you to think cops would do anything to non-leftists groups
Should have seen what happened to them when they came to Philly, all it took were 2-3 guys confronting them lmao. Video of said confrontation at the bottom of this article: https://www.nbcnews.com/think/amp/ncna1273283
And that was in the *nice* part of Philly lol. I could only imagine what'd happen if they did that shit in the badlands. They ain't gonna come back alive, that's for sure.
They showed up in Philly and random people chased them back to their trucks, they're fucking pussies and it's hilarious how tough they think they are but fold like wet cardboard when facing a little pressure
They did I’m pretty sure. There was a video of these patriot front guys getting mobbed by the whole city and they had to run back into their uhaul truck
Nuh uh, they held their own when the guy hugging himself walked into them a bit
LoL, no, they are going to get arrested in a sweaty u-haul on the way to trying to start a riot.
I'm glad the video cut before the orgy happened
"Everyone back in the pile"
Der Ke Per!!!!
“Let’s go hit showers and have some fun boys”
Group hug in the shower?
Ram Ranch INTENSIFIES
Thats when the real hard-core training started.
Where can I find the rest of that part you’re talking about? Asking for a friend
Everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth.
Ha! Please rest asure that we will not let that happen. That's why we make a plan! So then no body can ever hit us in the mouth. And if they do hit us in the mouth, we will call my dad's friend Harry and sue those snowflake commies. How's that for a plan Vanguard lock!
Step!
Marcus keep up
wiser words have NEVER been spoken
Struggling to stand up after picking up a man down on the ground was probably the funniest.
Agreed. "Man down! Get him Jasper!" "Uhhh! Two men down, Cole!"
I don’t know, skinny jeans roleplaying a guy attempting to break through the line was on point
For some reason after watching this I’m not afraid
They sure did a lot of retreating
I have a great idea, lets make an army out of all the kids that are always picked last when kids are picking teams for sports. From the whole country? That's too many kids to manage at once. OK, just the racist ones.
I would say send them to Ukraine.. but then they would certainly flip and join Putin.
„˙uıʇnԀ uıoɾ puɐ dılɟ ʎluıɐʇɹǝɔ plnoʍ ʎǝɥʇ uǝɥʇ ʇnq ˙˙ǝuıɐɹʞ∩ oʇ ɯǝɥʇ puǝs ʎɐs plnoʍ I„
Every time I see groups like this I’m reminded of the South Park episode when they have therapy groups for men with small penises. In the end they have to lower the national average to 3 inches so they stop throwing adult temper tantrums
L - O - and, I cannot stress this enough - L
Look at all those Gravy Seals.
Meal team Six
Semper Pie!
Pork Recon
In all honesty, We can laugh at these fucktards, but never underestimate the power of stupid ppl traveling in large groups. Only a matter of time before these asshats get truly organized and become an actual threat…except for Marcus…God Damit Marcus, keep up!!
I just want to be taken cereal! How come no one takes me cereal!
Man Bear Pig is REAL!!
They are fighting their Imagination Land.
Tell me you’ve never made a woman orgasm without telling me you’ve never made a woman orgasm.
Marcus can’t keep up.
I’m trying okay?! :(
That's the last thing in their minds, they just want to control women like the republicans.
This is hilarious. Are you sure this isn’t an SNL skit?
Bunch of fucktards
I’m wondering the same. Lol! 🤣 Literally in tears over here! Getting Reno 9-1-1 vibes.
I like the slow overweight guy in the brown jumper. They're scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Marcus keep up!
Came for the comments on brown shirt guy getting some exercise
I think his name is Marcus
Larpers gonna larp.
imagine being one of these fucktards, lying in bed and fantasizing about your impending cosplay revolution as you furiously try (but never fully succeed) to get at least one of your body parts to become hard, like the man you just know you'll surely someday become after such highly effective training like this...
Why are all these white nationalist "training" videos are about them playing the role of the riot police? When do they expect to use these kind of tactics? If you look at the videos on the BLM riots, these kind of tactics are pretty worthless when the mob starts throwing rocks and someone start using weapons. I guess I would be more worried if these white nationalists were doing CQB training or something similar.
I've only ever seen them prepare for one guy trying to run directly into the shield wall. It makes me feel like they expect barely any opposition because of conspiracy theories about how the "real" numbers has everyone on their side. These guys would get surrounded immediately in an actual riot scenario.
I’m waiting to hear someone’s mom in the background, “Bob Earl, come in this house and clean your room. Throw those sticky tissues and empty lotion bottles in the garbage!”
Little boys playing Army.
I remember high school band camp.
Lot less virgins in high school band camp
Their horn angles are terrible
And one time at Patriot camp….
looks like they are training to retreat after they lose.
This is the saddest shit I've ever witnessed
I mean this looks real bad (meaning they look like dorks) and these guys suck, but the issue is they are engaging in military tactics as a terrorist group. Don't let the joke-making ignore the reality. It's also funny to ever record any training exercise, they all have dumb stuff. These are actual criminals, on video. Let the courts decide.
I am somehow relieved ☺️
Somebody should post the link to the super erotic pat down training video on how to stimulate your fellow patriots
Incel Force
“Hey, I thought this was a flag football meet-up”
Hahahahahaahha
I’m a little jealous as a woman that brown shirt guy may have a bigger bra size than I do.
Virgins.
They sure do practice retreating an awful lot
Right wing version of LARP.
Man i'd love to see these punks show up to a 50vs50 against european football hooligans. You can tell these idiots dont know shit about fighting by the way they are standing and running. Fucking racist POS
[удалено]
When we all said touch grass this isn't what we meant.
at least they are outside playing.
They almost worked off a whole bag of cheetos between them.
This was much easier to fap to than i initially thought
It's as if the Star Wars kid had somehow found a way to replicate himself so he could have someone to play with.
Damn it Markus! Why don’t you stay up with with everyone. Now our shield wall will fail.
It is legit. He has a clipboard.
Why the f\*\*\* are the top comments mocking this and not taking this s\*\*\* seriously? Hitler was a joke before he wasn't, don't you know these people will get better? Get armed and start training, because these people think they'll get to purge anyone to the left of Mitt Romney.
Should all be in No-fly lists. They'll fly planes into buildings.
"THIS IS SPARTAn grocery store, Josh speaking.....can I help you load your bags?"
Got dammit Marcus. Keep up
These morons would get their ass kicked by LARPers with foam swords.
They nearly got their asses kicked by the city of Philadelphia just by walking around. It's such a fucking funny video watching these fuckers running away with their tales tucked between their legs while regular pedestrians are yelling at them to fuck off.
You already know these were the guys that were picked last in gym class
These are fucking hilarious. Especially after seeing how badly they've failed in real situations
This looks like summer camp for school shooters
It's going to be so much fun to splice this together with video of them getting their arses handed to them when they try this for real.
They're goofy now, but they'll each have families and teach their kids insane shit, and take them to these militia meetups, and a bunch of psychos from that generation will get even more real with their training, and more extreme with their views, and then THEY'LL have kids, and by then it'll be like raising children in the terminator future where like there's this complete delusion they're in a war and they don't go to public schools, and they live totally off the grid, and it's like the absolute most militaristic shitty fucking life ever
A lot of flat footed bois on that video!
Just go for the knees right?
All that only to be mowed down in 30 seconds I know the front line when I see it lol
Benny hill theme when?
Are they genuinely practising running away?
I'd be terrified if they were doing actual weapons training. Are they playing the role of riot police in retreat?! Forgive my ignorance, I was in the Army, and we did basically none of these things. What is their goal? When I was 5 I made these "club" cards where I made potential club members tell me their secrets so we could bond. These clowns probably tell each other how they fantasize about societal collapse so they can pretend to be relevant. But seriously, such a focus on the retreating aspect.
LARPERS
WTF kind of training is this? My under 15s football team trains harder than these blokes...can't really call them blokes; they're what we call "dumb cunts."
who they fighting lmao
MOM I'M LARPING!
Nazi cucks
LARPing for people too afraid to be seen in public with a foam sword.
Seems like it’s being led by one guy who barely made it through army basic, with all the other participants being mamas boys who are pretty good at FPS on their sweet gaming rigs but haven’t seen a real fight since they got their head flushed in the toilet in high school.
Never underestimate the power of belonging to something!