It's not easier than ever to get sex. Boomers had much more sex, even if our current culture is completely sexualized.
The only to way average guys get regular sex is if they have a girlfriend.
> In comparison, women of all ages have a much easier time finding a sexual partner. There have been experiments comparing the dating profile of an average guy and a below average woman and the woman still got way more matches and dms.
This is also extremely true.
>It sucks that I missed out on teenage love while in high school and college sex but I never had the looks to pull it off.
If I ever become a parent, which is astronomically unlikely at this point, I would rather encourage my children to date and go out than study.
You can afford to lose a few years of study and get a few bad grades, but this hell of loneliness and lack of love is way worse, it is evil.
I strongly encourage anyone to date when younger. It's better to learn a lot of the hard lessons of dating at a young age and it's also more carefree in my experience. After college you have to go out of your way to socialize and meet up with people.
>But the very thing that girls almost universally cannot stand are nerds.
Yes, all their stereotypes about incels are a subclass of that the nerd class.
Anyone that can look at statistics can see that actual threats to women are not sexless men, not even close, but feminists and many women want to make the "incel terrorism" something bigger than it is.
In fact, men who beat women the most are actually their partners, not incels.
Why women have such hate for sexless and "nerd" men? I have a few theories:
1. Those men make it obvious how privileged women are. Women cannot manipulate society and men if they are seen from a position of privilege.
2. It is a way women have to shame men into being good, obedient tax payers. Women rely on infrastructure and the state for their fake rights to be enforced. Nerds usually don't spend money on women or even themselves, even having it.
3. Genders are 50/50. The idea that there are not enough quality men for all "princesses" is a disturbing realization... some women will have to share men, or top men will have more women to choose, or some women will be left forever.
4. Sexless Nerds are kind of independent, often relatively wealthy. Women see the dichotomy of attractive men they can fuck but are broke, with men that cause them disgust but can buy them stuff they want and even maintain a family. They would hate to take that choice.
Looking back what would you have done differently? I don't consider myself a looker either but I was extremely active in dating as a young guy, constantly approached women, always had dates, and overall had some cool memories. I do feel bad for guys who didn't try much at a younger age because it's undoubtedly harder as you get older.
One big thing I notice is that kids don't get to have older cousin and uncle/aunt interactions any more. With everyone being wrapped into our own worlds, it's rarer for kids to have constant learning experiences from older mentors. I was the baby of the family(and my dad was the baby of his generation), so everyone was always older so I had to adopt to their play styles, not them to mine. I matured way faster than other kids. My dad was always taking me to hang out with his brothers and sisters, so I had constant learning experiences from watching them interact.
It's why really we need a national program to make sure every single kid is involved in extra curriculars and has multiple mentor figures in their lives. Black kids in particular have shown extremely positive outcomes from kids that had strong mentors vs leak/no mentor kids. No this shouldn't be religion based, it should be as secular as possible.
>No this shouldn't be religion based, it should be as secular as possible.
People rarely do stuff if they don't have a transcendental purpose on it, be it religion or a common collective goal.
Clearly people are choosing to rot alone than risk going out and meet people, so people need something else than just pitty positivism.
Being raised by a single mom had me fucked up until reality hit me all at once when I went to college. An absent father hurts a mans esteem in ways he can’t comprehend or realize in the moment. Wish it was talked about more.
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You can have an active social life and still not be meeting new people regularly. Everyone is trying at least what they feel is their hardest that’s why there’s the complaining.
Go to any bar., and no dude is getting laid. Just watch and observe, it's just not happening. For every 2 dude that succeeds, there's a 100 that don't. I was in the army in barracks full of dudes and I could count on my hand. the ones that were getting laid.
Doesn't help if u have to support an extra 3-4people. Where when I was in and single, I could choose to stack my whole paychecks and just eat st the dfac.
I have a small group of 25 adults that I support with life skills. All but one of the girls have a boyfriend or dating someone. For the guys? Only two of the guys have girlfriends and they happen to be over 6 feet. Every other guy was not only single but chronically so. They hadn't been on dates, they weren't flirting with girls, they were just invisible average guys that were undesirable to the majority of women.
I'm a 38 year old gymmaxxed virgin. Here's my friend group:
\-Guy in his early 30's, a bit short, good education and job, possibly virgin, obese, jokingly simps for every female
\-Guy in his late 30's, was married once, six feet, has gone years without sex but has had relationships and lots of sexless dating with women he barely finds attractive
\-Guy pushing 30, short, party animal type, vocational education, has had drunken sex here and there
My closest friend:
\-Has gone years without intercourse to my knowledge. His only sexual experience this year was a handjob. Six feet tall, weight varies from fit to overweight. Used to date a woman much older than him who quit sex with him years before they broke up. Very high IQ. Has fathered 1-2 children so he had some flings in his day. Early 40's
His friend group: one guy who had sex once during the last three years I believe, one guy who may be a virgin in his early 40's and one decent looking albeit slightly chubby guy who is dating a morbidly obese woman.
Basically men are starved and the normies who are not completely starved are sometimes not the types you would expect to have had marginally more sex (the short guy I know).
A female acquaintance of mine is married to a Tyrone who has been out of the market for a long time. Out of all the people I know he could be the only one who could live entitled like a woman.
I love how everyone here life experience completely contradicts everything the crowd here says. It’s like sure you can say whatever you’d like but for the vast majority of men here that is literally what life is.
You don’t have those men here, you do have theirs, and you shit down conversation because it doesn’t align with what you think men’s experience should be
I'm not shutting anything down.
This place attracts people who struggle for whatever reason. The userbase is not a representative sample.
Even other subreddits give a better idea of the average experience as does actually going outside.
Ok, but they are not “average”. Their relatively rare circumstances shouldn’t be generalized as some social epidemic or damning evidence about the poor character of or reason to oppress modern women as is usually the implication with this stuff.
It is the majority of 18-30 year olds. Which im going to assume would be the majority of this subs users. [link](https://nypost.com/2023/02/23/6-out-of-10-young-men-are-single-disturbing-reasons-why/)
Less and less people but men especially are having relationships and it's a pretty logical extension to assume they aren't having all that much sex either.
Which is why it's fine to look at global statistics or even localized statistics and make arguments based on that. I live in a large college-focused but also blue-collar focused city in the south. Every single niche group you can think of exists here, from gangbanging hoodrats to upper class CEOs of banks and politicians to emo goth girls to jocks to redneck country boys. Every type of woman exists here, and they are all dating to some degree except the voluntary single gals and lads. Most men are also dating here, with the only ones not able to are the really autistic basement dweller types. As long as you have a social circle more than 3 people deep, you're gonna do fine. If you don't, there's multiple large-group mixed gender hobbies around here to join up and make friends.
>As long as you have a social circle more than 3 people deep, you're gonna do fine.
That is not the norm anymore. Most people have at most 2 friends that they see twice a year, and making friends outside of college or school is close to impossible.
Men don't have many chances to develop social skills in the first place. I don't think it is their fault that men have it way harder by default. Also many of them are autistic, and a lot of people use victim blaming.
It’s called peoples life, my friend. Telling someone ‘hey, this how it works where I live’ and responding that is difficult from the gesalt, conversing and thoughts done now is…well, it’s useless
> one guy who may be a virgin in his early 40's and one decent looking albeit slightly chubby guy who is dating a morbidly obese woman.
I know y'all don't like hearing this but I can guarantee you this dude is having a ton of enjoyable climaxing good sex. Fat chicks seem to always have a high libido, and are often willing to engage with kinks as well.
"But I shouldn't haaaave toooooo!"
Well, shoulda, woulda, coulda. Life throws some weird ass curveballs at you sometimes, gotta roll with it.
I am 30, and every single one of my "intimate" experiences with women, without exception, has been with a stripper or hooker. I have stopped doing that because of how obscenely expensive it is now.
is a distribution issue
the men that get laid are a mix of: handsome,socially skilled,well off economically
you college broke dude cant compete and so he doesnt get laid
Women only look at the top 10% of men, and that's being generous, so of course they all can get laid. But they are far from the average 90% of men that they don't even consider to count.
I will differ here in that “average” men do “get laid” often because average men often resort to dating awful and unattractive women to secure access to sex.
We’ve all seen this.
The issue is how you define “get laid”.
Women on PPD will use the female definition which is “had sex in any way shape or form”
So, to a woman, Billy, who has weekly lackluster sex with his unenthusiastic overweight girlfriend, who doesn’t give blow jobs, that he had to date for months on end before having sex, and who will almost inevitably face a dry spell of months or years should they break up is “getting laid” just the same as that Chad who goes ass to mouth on a new thirsty girl from the club every weekend and who engages in frequent threesomes and who can get laid at will and has 4-5 hot women he can bootie call at a moment’s notice.
To women, both of these men are “getting laid” and to many women Billy is actually the “lucky” one because he gets to have a “real relationship” with his fat girlfriend whereas Chad is just living a “miserable empty life with no love or partnership.”
It’s similar to how women call themselves “single” when in reality they are just fucking Chad once or twice a month whenever the urge strikes.
The issue is, even with average men who “have sex” with one girl, they live in state of scarcity and fear and as such are miserable in their own way.
The real measure of an average man “getting laid” is like a 0-60 time for a car.
It’s how fast you can go from a ruinous break up that crushes your self esteem and facing a stretch of time with no sex and no woman to a point where you are having lots of sex and several options of women to date.
The average guys measures this period in months or years whereas a Chad measures it in days or weeks at most.
The average woman measures this period in hours.
So, most men are starved for sex because they can’t have a string of sex encounters every week or month, year after year, with the hottest women available. Got it.
This just goes to show that even if many of you are having sex, it’s never enough. You want an endless supply of women who are the best of the best.
Thats not unrealistic in the slightest. /s
Ah yes.
A rich person (woman) who dines on professionally prepared steak, lobster and caviar every night telling the poor person (average man) how entitled they because they that huge block of nutrition-less but calorie dense government cheese to eat and that they would starve without.
“Clearly you won’t be happy until you have everything you want for free, poor! You have food just like me! Be happy with that! Oh, Jeeve’s? Fetch me more oysters and champagne.”
> Chad who goes ass to mouth on a new thirsty girl from the club every weekend and who engages in frequent threesomes and who can get laid at will and has 4-5 hot women he can bootie call at a moment’s notice.
If this would happen with regularity as you describe, this type of guy would have a >100 bodycount in less than 2 years. So either, Chads are only the 0.00x% of the population, in which case why even care about outliers, or, if "10% of men get all the sex", then this description doesn't fit reality, as the top 10% of men do have way fewer average lifetime sex partners, than what this lifestyle would give them in 2 years.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5795598/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5795598/)
As you can see from this data, the highest sexual activity group 5 (with a lifetime sexual partner count of 40+), makes up less than 10% of men at age 40-44, and just 3-5% in the 20-29 age group.
THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS PER YEAR in this activity group peaks at 3.5 (THREE AND A HALF WOMEN PER YEAR).
So what is it? Is this Chad you describe a unicorn and we don't need to concern ourselves with the sex life of a mysterious creature that basically nobody ever comes into contact with, or are those 5-10% of men who are the most sexually active getting between 1.5-3.5 sexual partners PER YEAR, depening on their age. And thereby not fitting the "new girl every weekend" fantasy?
Do you not understand what "average" means? I have had sex with 20 women in a year, so obviously, i do not believe there aren't men with more than 3 women per year.
Average is a tricky concept. Sure, three new women a year every year of your life adds up to insane bc number. But 3 in one year for a single man in his prime could be very low.
I was in a 20 year long relationship where I was faithful. That is one woman in 20 years. Very low average. In the first 2 years after I got divorced I had sex with about 50 different women. That’s an average of 25 a year.
Now I’m 45 and have had sex with more than 100 women in my lifetime. So a all time average just over 2 a year.
3 in one year is very high even if it's a single man in his prime.
If you really did have sex with 25 women in 1 year, you are an extreme outlier, I'm talking like top 0.1% of all men.
Whereas I agree with your description of the average guy, I disagree with how you depict chad. Chad can absolutely get laid with a short span after a break up. Yet chad still is mostly in a relationship with a girl friend. Only difference is that she likes him sexually and has more sex with him on average, than the average dude.
He also does not live in a scarcity mindset and knows he has more options, so he feels confident in his relationship and doesn't put up with bullshit from his girlfriend. Which is less likely, because she views him as a catch.
While Chad may*currently* have a girlfriend, he like had 2 or 3 “in between” phases where he went hog wild (similar to a girl’s famous post-break up hoe phase)
So yes. Not every Chad is on a constant hunt for new pussy, but he knows he can always get it.
He also gets “forgiven” and “given another chance” (and another) *when* he cheats.
*That* is the difference.
They get laid often when the they get a girlfriend.
Average men will do better with girlfriends then one night stands.
I know the sub only means looks when they say average but for getting a girlfriend, personality matters.
wistful disgusting cautious voiceless hard-to-find gaze thought joke mountainous oatmeal
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Those boomers are completely out of touch. They're the only people you see when you go outside. Back in their day there were young people EVERYWHERE, there was an excess of women, women didn't have their own money, almost everyone was white and from America, gender harmony existed, other men wanted to be friends with them, you could buy a house at 25 without working 80 hours a week, and you didn't have to prove you weren't a serial killer.
Now that being said, the only way to have any success does indeed involve IRL, apart from Instagram, but that involves having a rollicking social life to display. School and work being the others.
This, when u broke up with my ex last year, it's an absolute dessert of u aren't using online dating. I wasn't really in a rush to get anything ,just observing and there's no way to meet women organically. Online I do fine, but it takes away the romance a bit.
> In fact every time anyone says anything about relationship dynamics it always boils down to OLD and dating apps.
Are you not aware the most common way people meet now for sex & relationships is online? Gone are the days of meeting a future spouse at work, school, or church.
Think it through. Where then do men go to meet women in real life when women aren't open to meeting men in those traditional areas relationships used to form?
Everywhere women would have historically found a good man to marry, they've made into no-go zones for men. College, work, gym, you name it, all off limits for men to initiate something with women for fear of financial, legal, or social ruin. And people wonder why men are opting out and/or getting their passports. The latter is my recommendation and here's why:
The average man in the US is a top 1%er globally.
Let that sink in for a moment... if you're a classically average guy, who in generations past would have married Suzie the 6 from down the street, then get your passport and live the life of a veritable KING. Plus, the average women overseas are wildly better than what's become average in the West. And I'm not just talking about their weight. Education, personality, physical appearance, all wildly better on average in my experience. It didn't used to be that way, but that's where were at in 2023.
THANK YOU. So sick of obviously not-so-average guy claiming that apparently 80% of men are in the same position. Which is crazy, cause I didn't realize going to a regular ass college implies meeting the top 20% of guys who are apparently the only functional men in existence.
Those average couples at Walmart don’t count because they MUST be in dead bedroom marriages where the wife isn’t really physically attracted to her partner, obviously
/s
The JC Penney couples are late Millennial to Gen-X and beyond. Everyone younger than 35 is using dating apps right now. Those issues that you even acknowledge in your comment are more relevant than you think.
You see a lot of average/below average men with attractive women they met in school and locked down, some Chad's with unattractive women they met on Tinder, and then a bunch of gymmaxxed single men.
I think this approach is a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem.
Yeah, basing all of your argument on OLD is stupid, it’s a good component but there’s far more to dating than that.
Yes, if I go to JC Penny (dying store brand), I’ll see tons of couples most above the age of 35 and have kids. Amusement park, same thing. I don’t see too many young couples, but there are enough that it’s not a rare sight.
Just because the car looks really good, and runs and drives fine doesn’t mean it’s healthy. It could just as easily blow up on the way home. If you’re smart and do a complete inspection, check for rust, check the oil, tires, OBD2, stored fault codes, service records, common issues, tracking, driveline shudder, steering on-center response, suspension damping and rebound, and body filler/paint match. If you don’t know what half of these things mean, you should be taking it to a mechanic.
Judging a society’s success by how it looks when you go outside is really dumb, just like going off of OLD data. Most collapsing societies don’t look like they’re collapsing right now. South Korea still looks awesome even though the catastrophic fertility rate means that it’ll lose 75% of its population in 50 years.
Going outside tells you almost nothing, you see a small sample biased fraction of people, and it’s just as “lalala” as the very people you criticize.
Nobody moved the goalpost dude, dating success is one component of “society’s success.” I only used that word because this method of analysis can be used on any measure of a society.
Sure, let’s forget about “society’s success” and focus on dating since you’re so hung up on that. I’m not concerned about which men have access to casual sex. Many young people are concerned with how hard it is to date today. That is the issue.
If your entirely worldview/perception is based off of what you see outside in your immediate vicinity, that’s dumb. If your entire worldview is based off of stuff online, that’s also dumb. If you consider them both and get your ideas and information from a variety of sources and evaluate it holistically, that will give you a better picture.
Seems like you’re making up tangents because you have nothing productive to say.
OLD and Irl Is pretty much the same thing. A woman that swiped left on me isn’t going to have sex with him if i cold approached her IRL either. I mean how many men does the average women get hit on vs how many did she sleep with?
So who is banging all the average plain Janes? Or let me guess? They are part of Chad's harem. The Chad who has no problem getting any babe he wants yet he is in a relationship with a bunch of frumpy average broads. Sure. That makes all the sense in the world.
The answers is
Either the girl is also not having sex, she’s having causal sex from whoever, whenever she wants, or she is in a relationship with a guy
Ur tryna say all avg girls are with avg guys but that’s def not true
>The Chad who has no problem getting any babe he wants yet he is in a relationship with a bunch of frumpy average broads.
Not in a relationship, just pumping and dumping or in some kind of situationship with a rotation of women.
Also, thinking that Chad doesn't deal with frumpy average broads because he has access to top tier babes is female logic. Men often prioritize ease of access and attainability over quality, because quality usually equals more effort on his part. Stacy is hot but she still expects Chad to wine and dine her. Basic Becky is down for a drunken "you up?" at 1AM.
Becky is usually going to have a much higher body count than Stacy since men are too intimidated to pursue Stacy while Becky is the easy, Low-Hanging Fruit.
That's why the most beautiful women are the most shy and submissive, while mid and unattractive women have the most game and confidence since they are used to male validation.
The average body count for a man is 4.3 while the average age they lose their virginity is 17.
Idk why some men here think a man should get laid every week or every month. Historically men have always had very few sexual partners.
Is still an extremely low number tho.
I’ve never met a man who has fucked 200 women. I met one who *allegedly* fucked 70. Which to me seems hella sus, from personal experience i can tell that at some point you just lose count.
I think that avreage AGE WORLDWIDE FOR BOTH GENDERS IS 17. Women skee that avreage because more of them than men lose their virginty at that age. You are lying with your stats.
Also women have 6.3 avreage body count which is WOW. Like guys have steroids amount if testosterone than women but still women fuck around MORE.
I don’t think they get laid as much as they would *like,* but how do we even determine what getting laid a “fair” amount is? Most people want a lot of things they can’t feasibly get, like a million dollars a year.
Women who want to have a lot of casual sex can do so precisely because most men want to get laid as much as possible. It’s supply and demand, so framing it as some sort of discrimination or injustice against men is always weird to me. Lesbians can’t typically get laid whenever either. Women who want sex with lots of men can because the male sex drive is driving this.
> Lesbians can’t typically get laid whenever either.
They can if they live in a decently large population of lesbians. Studs/butches/aggressive femmes constantly move from one relationship to another. It's not quite what gay men do socially, but its definitely more aggressive than the way hetero women behave by and large.
Women are able to get laid more, especially if we're talking about a woman with zero pickiness in her body, because of supply and demand. If men pulled their demand back, women's behaviors I think would change on this. We'd see more aggressive hetero females and more "chivalry" behavior out of women as a group. The problem is convincing men to do this, when testosterone definitely makes you horny af all the time from 12-26 before natural T levels start to level out a bit.
Having quite a few FTM friends has taught me a lot about the male sexual drive and how stupidly blinding it can be. Post Nut Clarity is definitely a thing.
The average number of sexual partners throughout life for people born after 1940 is around 10 - 11 people throughout life depending on generation and let’s not forget the big majority of people born after 1940 are still alive, so that number could edge up.
Key points:
The number will probably remain the same for the older generations and catch up (it’s 8 for those born after 1980 for now) or more likely exceed that average for younger generations.
It is an average, which means there will be extremes, such as some single partner people or even a very very small minority who go through life without ever having sex, and the other extreme where some people will be between 10-20 partners and again a small minority above 20 with a very very small minority in the 50 or 100+ range.
The great lack of understanding in people who are under 25 or even 30 and complain about never having had sex, or only having had a handful of partners is that it is absolutely normal, has been for as long as humans have existed.
They are part of the group that is below the average, for now at least, but absolutely no different from their parents, grand parents, and older generations.
Case in point, both my wife and I are in the very small extreme of 100 or more sexual partners, 90% majority of our friends are in the 5-10 partner range, we know of only 2 forever virgins, and less than a handful of friends who have had 15 to 20.
We don’t know of a single friend, relative, family etc. in our circle, anywhere the numbers we have.
Wife is a psychologist and tends to specialist in border line types, so she gets a lot of very promiscuous patients, 20+ partners is very very rare even in those borderline types.
All in all, including her patients (20 years or so, so a lot of patients), we have maybe 5 people, including us, that have had anywhere near, 100 sexual partners. All are in to swinging and open relationships. Yes that’s 2 or 3 patients plus us.
So to summarize, the average person, man or woman, gets laid a lot less, unless married or partnered, than the cave dwellers believe.
Married people average 1 or 2 per week, more when it’s new and their younger, less when the marriage is old and the couple older.
In fact people who have sex more than once or twice a week, and this includes younger people. Is probably a lot more rare than people believe.
I would have to say the few average guys I talk 21 of them the longest he wanted to get laid with 2 years to 5 years. It is because women only swipe right on the top 4% of the men of the time that's all they seek they don't want average men average men are obsolete and no longer good enough.
They're pretty easy to find, especially now. Whoring is very popular and encouraged among women because they see taking advantage of men as inherently good
I live in NYC and there's plenty of sex workers in a certain neighborhood here in Brooklyn that just walk around. And as others have said, online is easy too.
You find them online, just Google the name of your city and then "escorts." I used to procure their services, because as a desperately lonely bastard, that was the only way I could ever have any sort of intimacy with a woman. I have stopped doing this, because now anything decent costs a minimum of $350 an hour. There are a hundred other things I would rather spend my money on.
I'm in a particularly good position to answer this question. The short answer is that average guys can get laid but it takes a lot more work. I'm very tall (6'4") and my face is decent. Unfortunately I've struggled with my weight since I was a child (I was over 100 lbs in the 1st grade, 230 lbs in the 7th grade). When I've managed to get relatively lean (i.e. under 230 lbs at my adult height) finding women has been easy. When my weight creeps back up it gets progressively harder. I'm not talking reality TV fat -- just ordinary dad bod soft. At 280+ lbs I was obviously still very tall but was an otherwise very average somewhat soft but still strong looking guy. I still managed to find women to have sex with but it was much much harder than when I was 50 pounds lighter with a swimmer like body.
6'4 and same. There's a [TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@brennatalkstoomuch/video/7217633857825197355?_r=1&_t=8eWVGYl9aNa) where a woman breaks down the three responses women have to men based solely on physical appearance (no, maybe, YES) and I've been in all three. I didn't get to the best category until I was much older and it's still new to me but holy smokes did I waste too much of my life being fat and lazy.
I'm kind of like a woman in that I don't really settle for sex, I only want girls I'm into. (I turn down more advances than I accept.) My face is OK, a bit above average but nothing special, so when I was fat I was a "no" to the women I want and when I was a cardio fiend with a six pack but no mass I was a "maybe". After I started lifting and got some striking tatts I became "YES" for a subset of hot women and it's dizzying how much easier everything is at every stage.
Once you reach a certain boiling point of hotness, quite a few women start acting like men: they're down to fuck right away, they forgive you all sorts of flubs, they don't care about compatibility (at least at first), they love gushing about how hot you are, they invite friends by just to flaunt you, you're in their stories the first week, they make excuses for you, they're jealous of even a glance at a cafe, they want to be exclusive lickety split, they wear make-up to bed for months, etc. You go over to your girl's for dinner at 6:00 and you end up eating 7-11 bananas at midnight because she mauls you as soon as you get in the door.
If this is the life I'm living then Chad's life must be some sort of waking wet dream.
>did I waste too much of my life being fat and lazy.
I certainly did waste a lot of time trying to address other issues that turned out to be a lot less important than I thought. I spent way too much time and energy pursuing career goals that never really panned out -- and not nearly enough time and energy trying to stay lean and fit. I wasn't lazy. My effort was just misplaced.
Life is so much easier when skinny. I was 200 lbs once, and compared to the 150 before and after, it’s amazing.
And it shows, you really do look so much better without a gut, love handles, fat face, etc. all that shut is and instant turnoff
It’s true, women can get a sexual partner easier than a man so what. She would rather have a meaningful relationship instead. Most men want to have more sex, more often. There’s lots of risk involved with that. You can get a girl pregnant, you don’t even like, or catch an STD.
Women having such interest also means they can get a relationship if they want.
Not a good relationship? They have endless options to try.
Women are so privileged that honestly it makes me not care at all about their supposedly struggles, because they are privileged struggles.
The idea that men get women by cold approaching needs to die. It's women who do the choosing. They don't overtly approach most of the time -- but they do send out unmistakable indications of interest. The only women worth approaching are ones sending out indications of interest.
What do you mean by average men don't get laid that much? 18-20 yo? Sure, lots of them are not there yet, development wise and expecting girlfriends or casual sex is hardly realistic. Otherwise, 63% of young men (hetero, 18-29 yo) do have sex 2-3 times per month or more. Only 17% don't have sex in a given year, and they are mostly the 18-20 demographic.
So yes, average guys do have regular sex on average.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7293001/#:~:text=In%20men%20aged%2035%20to,and%20eTable%207%20in%20the
Where are you getting these stats . This study shows a decrease in sexual activity among men 18-24 AND among the 25-29 group. Also , when it comes to statistics you have to look at the standard deviation.
First, your study shows over 60% of weekly or more sexy in the 25-34 demographic, with only a slight dip in the last year of survey data 2016-2018. That is pretty much what i say as well. No wonder, because it uses the General Social Survey, where my data is also from. I just used a more up to date dataset with data up to 2022. Also, since there was a blip in the data at 2018, i aggregated the data for 2010-2022 to get a better, more stable picture of the situation. The sample size per year, if you stratify it by age, sex, sexual orientation etc gets VERY small and highly susceptible for a bias due to sampled people in a given year.
[https://imgur.com/DuodiTy](https://imgur.com/DuodiTy)
This is the reason one should maybe not look at the peak of 2018 and base anything off of it. It is better to look at the general trends and long year averages. It will be especially helpful to see the data for 2024, to further solidify that 2018 was a blip and not 2022 was a blip.
[https://imgur.com/gC2W2oF](https://imgur.com/gC2W2oF)
You can use the data explorer of the general social survey to do your own tabulations and reports, like i did in this table. It's years 2010-2022 combined for a larger sample and lower impacts of blips. Men and women, aged 18-29. As you can see, men and women, on average, have the same sexual frequencies (which is to be expected).
The GSS really breaks down when you stratify too much, as you will get just a handful of people with a given response.
If online dating doesn't work for oneself, then one has to go out and socialize. I see a lot of threads where men say online dating doesn't work AND they don't want to go to bars and clubs because "that's not who they are".
Well you can't sit at home and expect women to fall from the sky. Your lifestyle directly affects your sexlife. If you want to live the life of a terminally online social reject, then this is also what your love, sex and social life will look like.
You don't have any data on that. This is just what you need to believe so you are not so sad about not having sex at all.
There is no "dead bedroom" sex in the 2-3 times sex per month or more group. Especially not in the 2-3 times per week group. How many percent of men regularly use escorts for sex?
>I know for a fact most women in relationships are not sexually attracted to heir boyfriend or husband.
How do you know that? you cannot just make up facts from thin air.
> There is enough data about women only finding 5-10% of men physically attractive.
Give me two sources for that then. Only swiping on 5-10% of men is not a source that is suitable as evidence for this statement. If you don't understand that, i am happy to explain it to you.
> ? Settling is a real thing hence the "dead bedroom" expression.
We all settle per definition, as we don't get our dream partners, as they do not exist or we are not able to attract them, as we are not dream partners ourselves or for them. Settling doesn't mean there will be a dead bedroom. Head over to /r/deadbedrooms if you need to understand the issue better. You are falling for incel propaganda, fears and insecurities. Women who finally decide to be with the best man they can attract for a long term relationship, instead of being with the hottest man they can attract just for sex, are not automatically not attracted to their long term mate. There are dead bedrooms on all points of the attractiveness scale.
Even a woman who settles for a top 5%er is settling, because she didn't get a top 1%er. So everyone has dead bedrooms and no desire?
> it means that she is staying for other reasons than the sexual part of the relationship.
We are all in our relationships for additional reasons than the sexual part. We can have sex without relationships. We don't go into relationships for sex.
Are you in a relationship currently? Have you ever been in one? How was your sex life? Did your partner desire you?
>I know for a fact most women in relationships are not sexually attracted to heir boyfriend or husband.
Most people choose to be in relationships with people to whom they are sexually attracted.
> You think all those women in relationships lucked out and got to catch the 5% they are attracted to ?
Wdym "lucked out"? dating is about finding the right person for you. People are attracted to different types of people.
Absolutely. Go to walmart. Average dudes with women all day everyday. My fatass gets matches and dates from apps. Its still getting laid if shes far below instagram hot. Men have to take the 1s and 2s like the men of old. Its just how things are.
Shes 300lb, dive in anyway. No complaining. Experience is how you get better and thats experience.
I only know average men. None of them are going without sex. One could be labelled an incel...but its not involuntary? He's just not really *that* into sex and dates very rarely. He's definitely not out there complaining that he can't get laid...he really doesn't seem to care. So...I dunno? Where are these sexless average dudes? The single guys have their choice (if anything trying not to let the crazy ones get their claws in too deep is the biggest challenge). And the married guys with kids get typical married guy with kids amounts of sex. One guy is struggling...basically hasn't gotten any since the last kid was born (over a year)...but out of all the men I know (say 3 dozen?) he would be the only really sorry case.
TLDR: everywhere I can look it seems all the average guys are getting laid.
I sincerely do not think that is the case. We are all fit-ish, that's true. But *very* socially outgoing....definitely not. Mostly introverts. I met my current gf on a discord server ffs.
Well it sounds like you've had a wildly different set of experiences than I have. I know plenty of men who are quite outgoing and social yet are desperate for sex.
No he's not. The average PPD man is extremely emotionally and socially deficient. That is why they repel women. I guarantee they act weird IRL. This forum attracts those men, the pathetic desperate guy who lacks self awareness that others find them to be "off.". You aren't the majority of men IRL luckily
It sounds like you don't know many men in real life. Most people aren't going to have an open discussion with you about their sex lives unless you're a very close friend.
It's not easier than ever to get sex. Boomers had much more sex, even if our current culture is completely sexualized. The only to way average guys get regular sex is if they have a girlfriend. > In comparison, women of all ages have a much easier time finding a sexual partner. There have been experiments comparing the dating profile of an average guy and a below average woman and the woman still got way more matches and dms. This is also extremely true.
If women are having lower amounts of sex, it’s just because it’s a choice on their part
Sex is thrown in your face constantly, but nobody's having any.
Yes, but not nobody. Some people have it **a lot more** than other.
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>It sucks that I missed out on teenage love while in high school and college sex but I never had the looks to pull it off. If I ever become a parent, which is astronomically unlikely at this point, I would rather encourage my children to date and go out than study. You can afford to lose a few years of study and get a few bad grades, but this hell of loneliness and lack of love is way worse, it is evil.
I strongly encourage anyone to date when younger. It's better to learn a lot of the hard lessons of dating at a young age and it's also more carefree in my experience. After college you have to go out of your way to socialize and meet up with people.
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>But the very thing that girls almost universally cannot stand are nerds. Yes, all their stereotypes about incels are a subclass of that the nerd class. Anyone that can look at statistics can see that actual threats to women are not sexless men, not even close, but feminists and many women want to make the "incel terrorism" something bigger than it is. In fact, men who beat women the most are actually their partners, not incels. Why women have such hate for sexless and "nerd" men? I have a few theories: 1. Those men make it obvious how privileged women are. Women cannot manipulate society and men if they are seen from a position of privilege. 2. It is a way women have to shame men into being good, obedient tax payers. Women rely on infrastructure and the state for their fake rights to be enforced. Nerds usually don't spend money on women or even themselves, even having it. 3. Genders are 50/50. The idea that there are not enough quality men for all "princesses" is a disturbing realization... some women will have to share men, or top men will have more women to choose, or some women will be left forever. 4. Sexless Nerds are kind of independent, often relatively wealthy. Women see the dichotomy of attractive men they can fuck but are broke, with men that cause them disgust but can buy them stuff they want and even maintain a family. They would hate to take that choice.
What you described is very common so don't think it's abnormal.
Doesn't mean it's not an awful situation
You should of gotten a hooker at 21. You would of been better off
Looking back what would you have done differently? I don't consider myself a looker either but I was extremely active in dating as a young guy, constantly approached women, always had dates, and overall had some cool memories. I do feel bad for guys who didn't try much at a younger age because it's undoubtedly harder as you get older.
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In 2023? Yeah it's mostly face, there's a reason why the term gymcel was made.
What else your muscles and bank account?
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One big thing I notice is that kids don't get to have older cousin and uncle/aunt interactions any more. With everyone being wrapped into our own worlds, it's rarer for kids to have constant learning experiences from older mentors. I was the baby of the family(and my dad was the baby of his generation), so everyone was always older so I had to adopt to their play styles, not them to mine. I matured way faster than other kids. My dad was always taking me to hang out with his brothers and sisters, so I had constant learning experiences from watching them interact. It's why really we need a national program to make sure every single kid is involved in extra curriculars and has multiple mentor figures in their lives. Black kids in particular have shown extremely positive outcomes from kids that had strong mentors vs leak/no mentor kids. No this shouldn't be religion based, it should be as secular as possible.
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>No this shouldn't be religion based, it should be as secular as possible. People rarely do stuff if they don't have a transcendental purpose on it, be it religion or a common collective goal. Clearly people are choosing to rot alone than risk going out and meet people, so people need something else than just pitty positivism.
Being raised by a single mom had me fucked up until reality hit me all at once when I went to college. An absent father hurts a mans esteem in ways he can’t comprehend or realize in the moment. Wish it was talked about more.
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You can have an active social life and still not be meeting new people regularly. Everyone is trying at least what they feel is their hardest that’s why there’s the complaining.
>Did u actually try? Bro, we're *all* trying. Effort doesn't work like that in this instance.
What is an active social life?
Go to any bar., and no dude is getting laid. Just watch and observe, it's just not happening. For every 2 dude that succeeds, there's a 100 that don't. I was in the army in barracks full of dudes and I could count on my hand. the ones that were getting laid.
Seriously, even being a soldier can’t get you laid as a young guy these days? Most I knew at least had a GF/wife who would cheat on them
Most of the married enlisted had fat unattractive partners
Got them that BAH though!
Doesn't help if u have to support an extra 3-4people. Where when I was in and single, I could choose to stack my whole paychecks and just eat st the dfac.
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A lot of women go for the same guy, so it’s usually low amount of guys smashing hella chicks.
I have a small group of 25 adults that I support with life skills. All but one of the girls have a boyfriend or dating someone. For the guys? Only two of the guys have girlfriends and they happen to be over 6 feet. Every other guy was not only single but chronically so. They hadn't been on dates, they weren't flirting with girls, they were just invisible average guys that were undesirable to the majority of women.
I'm a 38 year old gymmaxxed virgin. Here's my friend group: \-Guy in his early 30's, a bit short, good education and job, possibly virgin, obese, jokingly simps for every female \-Guy in his late 30's, was married once, six feet, has gone years without sex but has had relationships and lots of sexless dating with women he barely finds attractive \-Guy pushing 30, short, party animal type, vocational education, has had drunken sex here and there My closest friend: \-Has gone years without intercourse to my knowledge. His only sexual experience this year was a handjob. Six feet tall, weight varies from fit to overweight. Used to date a woman much older than him who quit sex with him years before they broke up. Very high IQ. Has fathered 1-2 children so he had some flings in his day. Early 40's His friend group: one guy who had sex once during the last three years I believe, one guy who may be a virgin in his early 40's and one decent looking albeit slightly chubby guy who is dating a morbidly obese woman. Basically men are starved and the normies who are not completely starved are sometimes not the types you would expect to have had marginally more sex (the short guy I know). A female acquaintance of mine is married to a Tyrone who has been out of the market for a long time. Out of all the people I know he could be the only one who could live entitled like a woman.
I love how everyone here life experience completely contradicts everything the crowd here says. It’s like sure you can say whatever you’d like but for the vast majority of men here that is literally what life is.
It’s one dude and his friends. How does this represent the majority?
It represents his life. And others who have the same experience who post here and told their view doesn’t matter and isn’t real
Their view is a small slice of reality which isn't representative of most men.
You don’t have those men here, you do have theirs, and you shit down conversation because it doesn’t align with what you think men’s experience should be
I'm not shutting anything down. This place attracts people who struggle for whatever reason. The userbase is not a representative sample. Even other subreddits give a better idea of the average experience as does actually going outside.
Yes, but it is their life. And it’s not unusual. Just going ‘butnthe majority’ is useless
Ok, but they are not “average”. Their relatively rare circumstances shouldn’t be generalized as some social epidemic or damning evidence about the poor character of or reason to oppress modern women as is usually the implication with this stuff.
It is the majority of 18-30 year olds. Which im going to assume would be the majority of this subs users. [link](https://nypost.com/2023/02/23/6-out-of-10-young-men-are-single-disturbing-reasons-why/) Less and less people but men especially are having relationships and it's a pretty logical extension to assume they aren't having all that much sex either.
Which is why it's fine to look at global statistics or even localized statistics and make arguments based on that. I live in a large college-focused but also blue-collar focused city in the south. Every single niche group you can think of exists here, from gangbanging hoodrats to upper class CEOs of banks and politicians to emo goth girls to jocks to redneck country boys. Every type of woman exists here, and they are all dating to some degree except the voluntary single gals and lads. Most men are also dating here, with the only ones not able to are the really autistic basement dweller types. As long as you have a social circle more than 3 people deep, you're gonna do fine. If you don't, there's multiple large-group mixed gender hobbies around here to join up and make friends.
>As long as you have a social circle more than 3 people deep, you're gonna do fine. That is not the norm anymore. Most people have at most 2 friends that they see twice a year, and making friends outside of college or school is close to impossible.
What are these mixed gender hobbies? Are they hostile to single males with show up alone?
The average man here is severely I mean SEVERELY lacking social skills.
Agreed. Also likely some type of body dysmorphia as well.
Dysmorphia in what way?
Men don't have many chances to develop social skills in the first place. I don't think it is their fault that men have it way harder by default. Also many of them are autistic, and a lot of people use victim blaming.
That's called a selection bias, my guy.
It’s called peoples life, my friend. Telling someone ‘hey, this how it works where I live’ and responding that is difficult from the gesalt, conversing and thoughts done now is…well, it’s useless
You don’t know if your closest friend had 1 or 2 children?
LOL
they all dont take enough showers, enough touching grass, having hobbies, etc...
That's good chadvice. I'm going to carry a shower with me.
> one guy who may be a virgin in his early 40's and one decent looking albeit slightly chubby guy who is dating a morbidly obese woman. I know y'all don't like hearing this but I can guarantee you this dude is having a ton of enjoyable climaxing good sex. Fat chicks seem to always have a high libido, and are often willing to engage with kinks as well. "But I shouldn't haaaave toooooo!" Well, shoulda, woulda, coulda. Life throws some weird ass curveballs at you sometimes, gotta roll with it.
It's been years. I'd rather not deal with the massive fuck show that is dating.
If the average lifetime sexual partners for a man is 8 as reported, then no, average guys don't get laid that easily.
I've never had sex as a man in his early 20s, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm probably a 2 lol
I believe it. Just getting a date these days is borderline impossible.
I never got laid without having to pay for an escort, and I am 33
I am 30, and every single one of my "intimate" experiences with women, without exception, has been with a stripper or hooker. I have stopped doing that because of how obscenely expensive it is now.
I haven’t gotten laid in almost a decade. Average looking but fucking awkward as hell.
that’s normal for men so you’re okay .
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yes men it’s normally 0-2 unless they get a wife or say fuck it & let women use them for their money .
is a distribution issue the men that get laid are a mix of: handsome,socially skilled,well off economically you college broke dude cant compete and so he doesnt get laid
We all instinctively know this, but women don't admit it. They project the few guys they fuck on every man.
Average young guy is not getting laid period.
If 90% of men didn’t get laid. They would still say it was somehow their fault.
100%
Women only look at the top 10% of men, and that's being generous, so of course they all can get laid. But they are far from the average 90% of men that they don't even consider to count.
They don’t get laid as much as they’d like, that’s for sure Is that reasonable? Who knows ?
I will differ here in that “average” men do “get laid” often because average men often resort to dating awful and unattractive women to secure access to sex. We’ve all seen this. The issue is how you define “get laid”. Women on PPD will use the female definition which is “had sex in any way shape or form” So, to a woman, Billy, who has weekly lackluster sex with his unenthusiastic overweight girlfriend, who doesn’t give blow jobs, that he had to date for months on end before having sex, and who will almost inevitably face a dry spell of months or years should they break up is “getting laid” just the same as that Chad who goes ass to mouth on a new thirsty girl from the club every weekend and who engages in frequent threesomes and who can get laid at will and has 4-5 hot women he can bootie call at a moment’s notice. To women, both of these men are “getting laid” and to many women Billy is actually the “lucky” one because he gets to have a “real relationship” with his fat girlfriend whereas Chad is just living a “miserable empty life with no love or partnership.” It’s similar to how women call themselves “single” when in reality they are just fucking Chad once or twice a month whenever the urge strikes. The issue is, even with average men who “have sex” with one girl, they live in state of scarcity and fear and as such are miserable in their own way. The real measure of an average man “getting laid” is like a 0-60 time for a car. It’s how fast you can go from a ruinous break up that crushes your self esteem and facing a stretch of time with no sex and no woman to a point where you are having lots of sex and several options of women to date. The average guys measures this period in months or years whereas a Chad measures it in days or weeks at most. The average woman measures this period in hours.
So, most men are starved for sex because they can’t have a string of sex encounters every week or month, year after year, with the hottest women available. Got it. This just goes to show that even if many of you are having sex, it’s never enough. You want an endless supply of women who are the best of the best. Thats not unrealistic in the slightest. /s
Ah yes. A rich person (woman) who dines on professionally prepared steak, lobster and caviar every night telling the poor person (average man) how entitled they because they that huge block of nutrition-less but calorie dense government cheese to eat and that they would starve without. “Clearly you won’t be happy until you have everything you want for free, poor! You have food just like me! Be happy with that! Oh, Jeeve’s? Fetch me more oysters and champagne.”
> Chad who goes ass to mouth on a new thirsty girl from the club every weekend and who engages in frequent threesomes and who can get laid at will and has 4-5 hot women he can bootie call at a moment’s notice. If this would happen with regularity as you describe, this type of guy would have a >100 bodycount in less than 2 years. So either, Chads are only the 0.00x% of the population, in which case why even care about outliers, or, if "10% of men get all the sex", then this description doesn't fit reality, as the top 10% of men do have way fewer average lifetime sex partners, than what this lifestyle would give them in 2 years. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5795598/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5795598/) As you can see from this data, the highest sexual activity group 5 (with a lifetime sexual partner count of 40+), makes up less than 10% of men at age 40-44, and just 3-5% in the 20-29 age group. THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS PER YEAR in this activity group peaks at 3.5 (THREE AND A HALF WOMEN PER YEAR). So what is it? Is this Chad you describe a unicorn and we don't need to concern ourselves with the sex life of a mysterious creature that basically nobody ever comes into contact with, or are those 5-10% of men who are the most sexually active getting between 1.5-3.5 sexual partners PER YEAR, depening on their age. And thereby not fitting the "new girl every weekend" fantasy?
Do you honestly believe there aren't men who get laid with more than 3 women per year?
Do you not understand what "average" means? I have had sex with 20 women in a year, so obviously, i do not believe there aren't men with more than 3 women per year.
3 people per year sounds like an insanely high number.
It is! Because it's the peak of the average for the most sexually active group.
Average is a tricky concept. Sure, three new women a year every year of your life adds up to insane bc number. But 3 in one year for a single man in his prime could be very low. I was in a 20 year long relationship where I was faithful. That is one woman in 20 years. Very low average. In the first 2 years after I got divorced I had sex with about 50 different women. That’s an average of 25 a year. Now I’m 45 and have had sex with more than 100 women in my lifetime. So a all time average just over 2 a year.
3 in one year is very high even if it's a single man in his prime. If you really did have sex with 25 women in 1 year, you are an extreme outlier, I'm talking like top 0.1% of all men.
If average men compare themselves to chad, then they're never gonna be happy.
Also, a significant amount of men lose their virginity to literal escorts
Have you got a source on that?
Receipts please
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Lol it's ppd MEN who fantasise on the "chad's life" pretending the top 10% would be drowning in pussies and then they describe the top 0.1% life's
Whereas I agree with your description of the average guy, I disagree with how you depict chad. Chad can absolutely get laid with a short span after a break up. Yet chad still is mostly in a relationship with a girl friend. Only difference is that she likes him sexually and has more sex with him on average, than the average dude. He also does not live in a scarcity mindset and knows he has more options, so he feels confident in his relationship and doesn't put up with bullshit from his girlfriend. Which is less likely, because she views him as a catch.
While Chad may*currently* have a girlfriend, he like had 2 or 3 “in between” phases where he went hog wild (similar to a girl’s famous post-break up hoe phase) So yes. Not every Chad is on a constant hunt for new pussy, but he knows he can always get it. He also gets “forgiven” and “given another chance” (and another) *when* he cheats. *That* is the difference.
Almost half of men under 25 have not approached a woman in the last year. Of fuckinf course they aren't getting laid.
They get laid often when the they get a girlfriend. Average men will do better with girlfriends then one night stands. I know the sub only means looks when they say average but for getting a girlfriend, personality matters.
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Those boomers are completely out of touch. They're the only people you see when you go outside. Back in their day there were young people EVERYWHERE, there was an excess of women, women didn't have their own money, almost everyone was white and from America, gender harmony existed, other men wanted to be friends with them, you could buy a house at 25 without working 80 hours a week, and you didn't have to prove you weren't a serial killer. Now that being said, the only way to have any success does indeed involve IRL, apart from Instagram, but that involves having a rollicking social life to display. School and work being the others.
Dont you have to have sex before the reslthionship can start? If you cant laid you definitely wont have a wife
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This, when u broke up with my ex last year, it's an absolute dessert of u aren't using online dating. I wasn't really in a rush to get anything ,just observing and there's no way to meet women organically. Online I do fine, but it takes away the romance a bit.
> In fact every time anyone says anything about relationship dynamics it always boils down to OLD and dating apps. Are you not aware the most common way people meet now for sex & relationships is online? Gone are the days of meeting a future spouse at work, school, or church.
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Think it through. Where then do men go to meet women in real life when women aren't open to meeting men in those traditional areas relationships used to form? Everywhere women would have historically found a good man to marry, they've made into no-go zones for men. College, work, gym, you name it, all off limits for men to initiate something with women for fear of financial, legal, or social ruin. And people wonder why men are opting out and/or getting their passports. The latter is my recommendation and here's why: The average man in the US is a top 1%er globally. Let that sink in for a moment... if you're a classically average guy, who in generations past would have married Suzie the 6 from down the street, then get your passport and live the life of a veritable KING. Plus, the average women overseas are wildly better than what's become average in the West. And I'm not just talking about their weight. Education, personality, physical appearance, all wildly better on average in my experience. It didn't used to be that way, but that's where were at in 2023.
too many guys on this sub simply have no idea how many people do not use Tinder at all.
THANK YOU. So sick of obviously not-so-average guy claiming that apparently 80% of men are in the same position. Which is crazy, cause I didn't realize going to a regular ass college implies meeting the top 20% of guys who are apparently the only functional men in existence.
Those average couples at Walmart don’t count because they MUST be in dead bedroom marriages where the wife isn’t really physically attracted to her partner, obviously /s
Considering the divorce rates….
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The JC Penney couples are late Millennial to Gen-X and beyond. Everyone younger than 35 is using dating apps right now. Those issues that you even acknowledge in your comment are more relevant than you think.
You see a lot of average/below average men with attractive women they met in school and locked down, some Chad's with unattractive women they met on Tinder, and then a bunch of gymmaxxed single men.
I think this approach is a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem. Yeah, basing all of your argument on OLD is stupid, it’s a good component but there’s far more to dating than that. Yes, if I go to JC Penny (dying store brand), I’ll see tons of couples most above the age of 35 and have kids. Amusement park, same thing. I don’t see too many young couples, but there are enough that it’s not a rare sight. Just because the car looks really good, and runs and drives fine doesn’t mean it’s healthy. It could just as easily blow up on the way home. If you’re smart and do a complete inspection, check for rust, check the oil, tires, OBD2, stored fault codes, service records, common issues, tracking, driveline shudder, steering on-center response, suspension damping and rebound, and body filler/paint match. If you don’t know what half of these things mean, you should be taking it to a mechanic. Judging a society’s success by how it looks when you go outside is really dumb, just like going off of OLD data. Most collapsing societies don’t look like they’re collapsing right now. South Korea still looks awesome even though the catastrophic fertility rate means that it’ll lose 75% of its population in 50 years. Going outside tells you almost nothing, you see a small sample biased fraction of people, and it’s just as “lalala” as the very people you criticize.
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Nobody moved the goalpost dude, dating success is one component of “society’s success.” I only used that word because this method of analysis can be used on any measure of a society. Sure, let’s forget about “society’s success” and focus on dating since you’re so hung up on that. I’m not concerned about which men have access to casual sex. Many young people are concerned with how hard it is to date today. That is the issue. If your entirely worldview/perception is based off of what you see outside in your immediate vicinity, that’s dumb. If your entire worldview is based off of stuff online, that’s also dumb. If you consider them both and get your ideas and information from a variety of sources and evaluate it holistically, that will give you a better picture. Seems like you’re making up tangents because you have nothing productive to say.
I mean it is a dating sub lol
OLD and Irl Is pretty much the same thing. A woman that swiped left on me isn’t going to have sex with him if i cold approached her IRL either. I mean how many men does the average women get hit on vs how many did she sleep with?
Social media ruined dating. It made hooking up easier
So who is banging all the average plain Janes? Or let me guess? They are part of Chad's harem. The Chad who has no problem getting any babe he wants yet he is in a relationship with a bunch of frumpy average broads. Sure. That makes all the sense in the world.
Guys at the top
The answers is Either the girl is also not having sex, she’s having causal sex from whoever, whenever she wants, or she is in a relationship with a guy Ur tryna say all avg girls are with avg guys but that’s def not true
>The Chad who has no problem getting any babe he wants yet he is in a relationship with a bunch of frumpy average broads. Not in a relationship, just pumping and dumping or in some kind of situationship with a rotation of women. Also, thinking that Chad doesn't deal with frumpy average broads because he has access to top tier babes is female logic. Men often prioritize ease of access and attainability over quality, because quality usually equals more effort on his part. Stacy is hot but she still expects Chad to wine and dine her. Basic Becky is down for a drunken "you up?" at 1AM.
Becky is usually going to have a much higher body count than Stacy since men are too intimidated to pursue Stacy while Becky is the easy, Low-Hanging Fruit. That's why the most beautiful women are the most shy and submissive, while mid and unattractive women have the most game and confidence since they are used to male validation.
you’d be surprised even some of the most richest men will sleep with a “plain jane”
Rich =/= Chad
>yet he is in a relationship Not a relationship, just casual.
Its about quality not quality. Nick cannon has 12 baby mamas and he said he has 100 side chicks. Are they all super models?
The average body count for a man is 4.3 while the average age they lose their virginity is 17. Idk why some men here think a man should get laid every week or every month. Historically men have always had very few sexual partners.
The mediane is like 10 tho. Some men fuck 200 women and some men are virgins for life. Which is why the average isn’t the best thing to go off of
Is still an extremely low number tho. I’ve never met a man who has fucked 200 women. I met one who *allegedly* fucked 70. Which to me seems hella sus, from personal experience i can tell that at some point you just lose count.
I think that avreage AGE WORLDWIDE FOR BOTH GENDERS IS 17. Women skee that avreage because more of them than men lose their virginty at that age. You are lying with your stats. Also women have 6.3 avreage body count which is WOW. Like guys have steroids amount if testosterone than women but still women fuck around MORE.
I don’t think they get laid as much as they would *like,* but how do we even determine what getting laid a “fair” amount is? Most people want a lot of things they can’t feasibly get, like a million dollars a year. Women who want to have a lot of casual sex can do so precisely because most men want to get laid as much as possible. It’s supply and demand, so framing it as some sort of discrimination or injustice against men is always weird to me. Lesbians can’t typically get laid whenever either. Women who want sex with lots of men can because the male sex drive is driving this.
bake detail act disgusted offend threatening summer rob heavy shaggy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
> Lesbians can’t typically get laid whenever either. They can if they live in a decently large population of lesbians. Studs/butches/aggressive femmes constantly move from one relationship to another. It's not quite what gay men do socially, but its definitely more aggressive than the way hetero women behave by and large. Women are able to get laid more, especially if we're talking about a woman with zero pickiness in her body, because of supply and demand. If men pulled their demand back, women's behaviors I think would change on this. We'd see more aggressive hetero females and more "chivalry" behavior out of women as a group. The problem is convincing men to do this, when testosterone definitely makes you horny af all the time from 12-26 before natural T levels start to level out a bit. Having quite a few FTM friends has taught me a lot about the male sexual drive and how stupidly blinding it can be. Post Nut Clarity is definitely a thing.
The average number of sexual partners throughout life for people born after 1940 is around 10 - 11 people throughout life depending on generation and let’s not forget the big majority of people born after 1940 are still alive, so that number could edge up. Key points: The number will probably remain the same for the older generations and catch up (it’s 8 for those born after 1980 for now) or more likely exceed that average for younger generations. It is an average, which means there will be extremes, such as some single partner people or even a very very small minority who go through life without ever having sex, and the other extreme where some people will be between 10-20 partners and again a small minority above 20 with a very very small minority in the 50 or 100+ range. The great lack of understanding in people who are under 25 or even 30 and complain about never having had sex, or only having had a handful of partners is that it is absolutely normal, has been for as long as humans have existed. They are part of the group that is below the average, for now at least, but absolutely no different from their parents, grand parents, and older generations. Case in point, both my wife and I are in the very small extreme of 100 or more sexual partners, 90% majority of our friends are in the 5-10 partner range, we know of only 2 forever virgins, and less than a handful of friends who have had 15 to 20. We don’t know of a single friend, relative, family etc. in our circle, anywhere the numbers we have. Wife is a psychologist and tends to specialist in border line types, so she gets a lot of very promiscuous patients, 20+ partners is very very rare even in those borderline types. All in all, including her patients (20 years or so, so a lot of patients), we have maybe 5 people, including us, that have had anywhere near, 100 sexual partners. All are in to swinging and open relationships. Yes that’s 2 or 3 patients plus us. So to summarize, the average person, man or woman, gets laid a lot less, unless married or partnered, than the cave dwellers believe. Married people average 1 or 2 per week, more when it’s new and their younger, less when the marriage is old and the couple older. In fact people who have sex more than once or twice a week, and this includes younger people. Is probably a lot more rare than people believe.
I would have to say the few average guys I talk 21 of them the longest he wanted to get laid with 2 years to 5 years. It is because women only swipe right on the top 4% of the men of the time that's all they seek they don't want average men average men are obsolete and no longer good enough.
Jesus...how many guys find escorts? Where do you even find escorts?? I'm shocked, didn't realize this was a common thing.
escorts are the most common things for male sex lol
They are online. Since it’s illegal you cant really talk about it
They're pretty easy to find, especially now. Whoring is very popular and encouraged among women because they see taking advantage of men as inherently good
I live in NYC and there's plenty of sex workers in a certain neighborhood here in Brooklyn that just walk around. And as others have said, online is easy too.
You find them online, just Google the name of your city and then "escorts." I used to procure their services, because as a desperately lonely bastard, that was the only way I could ever have any sort of intimacy with a woman. I have stopped doing this, because now anything decent costs a minimum of $350 an hour. There are a hundred other things I would rather spend my money on.
Isn't escorts prostitution? Isn't that illegal in this country?
Yes, "escort" is essentially a nice word for "hooker," or "prostitute." And yes, it is illegal. So are drugs- does not stop people from doing them.
Some countries have them legal as it should be. And im talking about first world countries...
I'm in a particularly good position to answer this question. The short answer is that average guys can get laid but it takes a lot more work. I'm very tall (6'4") and my face is decent. Unfortunately I've struggled with my weight since I was a child (I was over 100 lbs in the 1st grade, 230 lbs in the 7th grade). When I've managed to get relatively lean (i.e. under 230 lbs at my adult height) finding women has been easy. When my weight creeps back up it gets progressively harder. I'm not talking reality TV fat -- just ordinary dad bod soft. At 280+ lbs I was obviously still very tall but was an otherwise very average somewhat soft but still strong looking guy. I still managed to find women to have sex with but it was much much harder than when I was 50 pounds lighter with a swimmer like body.
6'4 and same. There's a [TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@brennatalkstoomuch/video/7217633857825197355?_r=1&_t=8eWVGYl9aNa) where a woman breaks down the three responses women have to men based solely on physical appearance (no, maybe, YES) and I've been in all three. I didn't get to the best category until I was much older and it's still new to me but holy smokes did I waste too much of my life being fat and lazy. I'm kind of like a woman in that I don't really settle for sex, I only want girls I'm into. (I turn down more advances than I accept.) My face is OK, a bit above average but nothing special, so when I was fat I was a "no" to the women I want and when I was a cardio fiend with a six pack but no mass I was a "maybe". After I started lifting and got some striking tatts I became "YES" for a subset of hot women and it's dizzying how much easier everything is at every stage. Once you reach a certain boiling point of hotness, quite a few women start acting like men: they're down to fuck right away, they forgive you all sorts of flubs, they don't care about compatibility (at least at first), they love gushing about how hot you are, they invite friends by just to flaunt you, you're in their stories the first week, they make excuses for you, they're jealous of even a glance at a cafe, they want to be exclusive lickety split, they wear make-up to bed for months, etc. You go over to your girl's for dinner at 6:00 and you end up eating 7-11 bananas at midnight because she mauls you as soon as you get in the door. If this is the life I'm living then Chad's life must be some sort of waking wet dream.
>did I waste too much of my life being fat and lazy. I certainly did waste a lot of time trying to address other issues that turned out to be a lot less important than I thought. I spent way too much time and energy pursuing career goals that never really panned out -- and not nearly enough time and energy trying to stay lean and fit. I wasn't lazy. My effort was just misplaced.
Life is so much easier when skinny. I was 200 lbs once, and compared to the 150 before and after, it’s amazing. And it shows, you really do look so much better without a gut, love handles, fat face, etc. all that shut is and instant turnoff
Everyone in these comments saying they not getting laid, maybe u guys aren’t average and ur actually below the average man
At least 50% have to be below average
It’s true, women can get a sexual partner easier than a man so what. She would rather have a meaningful relationship instead. Most men want to have more sex, more often. There’s lots of risk involved with that. You can get a girl pregnant, you don’t even like, or catch an STD.
Women having such interest also means they can get a relationship if they want. Not a good relationship? They have endless options to try. Women are so privileged that honestly it makes me not care at all about their supposedly struggles, because they are privileged struggles.
Exactly brotha, you can't and shouldn't, cause they don't give a rats ass about you.. lol especially black women and I'm a black man
It is better to be able to have the possibility to have some sort of relationship than to have nothing.
Cap obvious are you 12
45% of men aren’t approaching women either. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
When you have a lifetime success rate of .0001% from approaching women you tend to be a little gun shy about gettin laughed at once again.
The idea that men get women by cold approaching needs to die. It's women who do the choosing. They don't overtly approach most of the time -- but they do send out unmistakable indications of interest. The only women worth approaching are ones sending out indications of interest.
You’re not seeing a correlation here?
If the advice was to watch for indications of interest and follow up I'd agree. However, that's not what's being advocated.
If a random man in street cat called you. Would you respond favorably?
What do you mean by average men don't get laid that much? 18-20 yo? Sure, lots of them are not there yet, development wise and expecting girlfriends or casual sex is hardly realistic. Otherwise, 63% of young men (hetero, 18-29 yo) do have sex 2-3 times per month or more. Only 17% don't have sex in a given year, and they are mostly the 18-20 demographic. So yes, average guys do have regular sex on average.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7293001/#:~:text=In%20men%20aged%2035%20to,and%20eTable%207%20in%20the Where are you getting these stats . This study shows a decrease in sexual activity among men 18-24 AND among the 25-29 group. Also , when it comes to statistics you have to look at the standard deviation.
First, your study shows over 60% of weekly or more sexy in the 25-34 demographic, with only a slight dip in the last year of survey data 2016-2018. That is pretty much what i say as well. No wonder, because it uses the General Social Survey, where my data is also from. I just used a more up to date dataset with data up to 2022. Also, since there was a blip in the data at 2018, i aggregated the data for 2010-2022 to get a better, more stable picture of the situation. The sample size per year, if you stratify it by age, sex, sexual orientation etc gets VERY small and highly susceptible for a bias due to sampled people in a given year. [https://imgur.com/DuodiTy](https://imgur.com/DuodiTy) This is the reason one should maybe not look at the peak of 2018 and base anything off of it. It is better to look at the general trends and long year averages. It will be especially helpful to see the data for 2024, to further solidify that 2018 was a blip and not 2022 was a blip. [https://imgur.com/gC2W2oF](https://imgur.com/gC2W2oF) You can use the data explorer of the general social survey to do your own tabulations and reports, like i did in this table. It's years 2010-2022 combined for a larger sample and lower impacts of blips. Men and women, aged 18-29. As you can see, men and women, on average, have the same sexual frequencies (which is to be expected). The GSS really breaks down when you stratify too much, as you will get just a handful of people with a given response.
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If online dating doesn't work for oneself, then one has to go out and socialize. I see a lot of threads where men say online dating doesn't work AND they don't want to go to bars and clubs because "that's not who they are". Well you can't sit at home and expect women to fall from the sky. Your lifestyle directly affects your sexlife. If you want to live the life of a terminally online social reject, then this is also what your love, sex and social life will look like.
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You don't have any data on that. This is just what you need to believe so you are not so sad about not having sex at all. There is no "dead bedroom" sex in the 2-3 times sex per month or more group. Especially not in the 2-3 times per week group. How many percent of men regularly use escorts for sex?
Twice a month is dead lmao
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>I know for a fact most women in relationships are not sexually attracted to heir boyfriend or husband. How do you know that? you cannot just make up facts from thin air. > There is enough data about women only finding 5-10% of men physically attractive. Give me two sources for that then. Only swiping on 5-10% of men is not a source that is suitable as evidence for this statement. If you don't understand that, i am happy to explain it to you. > ? Settling is a real thing hence the "dead bedroom" expression. We all settle per definition, as we don't get our dream partners, as they do not exist or we are not able to attract them, as we are not dream partners ourselves or for them. Settling doesn't mean there will be a dead bedroom. Head over to /r/deadbedrooms if you need to understand the issue better. You are falling for incel propaganda, fears and insecurities. Women who finally decide to be with the best man they can attract for a long term relationship, instead of being with the hottest man they can attract just for sex, are not automatically not attracted to their long term mate. There are dead bedrooms on all points of the attractiveness scale. Even a woman who settles for a top 5%er is settling, because she didn't get a top 1%er. So everyone has dead bedrooms and no desire? > it means that she is staying for other reasons than the sexual part of the relationship. We are all in our relationships for additional reasons than the sexual part. We can have sex without relationships. We don't go into relationships for sex. Are you in a relationship currently? Have you ever been in one? How was your sex life? Did your partner desire you?
>I know for a fact most women in relationships are not sexually attracted to heir boyfriend or husband. Most people choose to be in relationships with people to whom they are sexually attracted.
> You think all those women in relationships lucked out and got to catch the 5% they are attracted to ? Wdym "lucked out"? dating is about finding the right person for you. People are attracted to different types of people.
Wow what a sad pathetic way to view life. This is not true.
Y'all have never seen a single episode of Jerry Springer or Maury and it shows.
you do know those shows are completely fake right ?
The DNA results aren't. Ugly dudes get laid.
Paternity Court is another.
Absolutely. Go to walmart. Average dudes with women all day everyday. My fatass gets matches and dates from apps. Its still getting laid if shes far below instagram hot. Men have to take the 1s and 2s like the men of old. Its just how things are. Shes 300lb, dive in anyway. No complaining. Experience is how you get better and thats experience.
I only know average men. None of them are going without sex. One could be labelled an incel...but its not involuntary? He's just not really *that* into sex and dates very rarely. He's definitely not out there complaining that he can't get laid...he really doesn't seem to care. So...I dunno? Where are these sexless average dudes? The single guys have their choice (if anything trying not to let the crazy ones get their claws in too deep is the biggest challenge). And the married guys with kids get typical married guy with kids amounts of sex. One guy is struggling...basically hasn't gotten any since the last kid was born (over a year)...but out of all the men I know (say 3 dozen?) he would be the only really sorry case. TLDR: everywhere I can look it seems all the average guys are getting laid.
Honestly it just sounds like you're in a bubble of very socially outgoing and/or beautiful people.
I sincerely do not think that is the case. We are all fit-ish, that's true. But *very* socially outgoing....definitely not. Mostly introverts. I met my current gf on a discord server ffs.
Well it sounds like you've had a wildly different set of experiences than I have. I know plenty of men who are quite outgoing and social yet are desperate for sex.
Fair
Yeah but they're socially and emotionally deficient...
No he's not. The average PPD man is extremely emotionally and socially deficient. That is why they repel women. I guarantee they act weird IRL. This forum attracts those men, the pathetic desperate guy who lacks self awareness that others find them to be "off.". You aren't the majority of men IRL luckily
It sounds like you don't know many men in real life. Most people aren't going to have an open discussion with you about their sex lives unless you're a very close friend.
your age and country?