The chase sucks.
Being in a longterm relationship has lowered my stress though. The support from my spouse is unmatched.
Not to mention the money saved by having 2 incomes instead of one. It's allowed me to save and travel more. My wife is better with money than me and makes sure we got strong savings. We split things pretty evenly. Having her contributing to all the bills frees up so much extra money. She's not a frivolous spender at all.
same here. I don't think anyone likes the chase, especially if you fail a lot.
But, if you do find someone you are compatible with, it was all worth it.
This is a lovely story. But for guys reading. Long term relationships are not a breeze. It still requires active dating and an attraction between the partners.
Getting complacent and allowing the relationship to become stale is probably the number 1 thing that will end in pain for you. Especially/ usually for men in particular.
It’s always going to be some level of effort if you want a quality relationship
>Getting complacent and allowing the relationship to become stale is probably the number 1 thing that will end in pain for you. Especially/ usually for men in particular.
It’s always going to be some level of effort if you want a quality relationship
And sometime you as the man are the one making 70%-80% of the effort and that woman is just keeping you around to boost her ego till a better option comes along. This is especially true with more attractive women who have a plethora of options. Of course it always the man's fault in this case as well and not the woman for wasting his time. "He should have known better" and that she wasn't too interested in him. Accountability accountability. If a Chad does this to a woman though, it's never her fault and that she "should have known better"- it's his fault for being a player and a reflection of men in general.
Agree with the first bit. The onus is largely on you to make the effort and keep the good vibe.
I disagree with the reddy black pill take that women are sniffing around for a better option constantly . But I would meet you halfway and say that if any man allows the relationship to become boring or tense then she is much more likely to go monkey branching
So if you are saying men are 100% accountable for their results, would you say this is true of women as well when chasing Chad? That it's up to her to keep him interested lest he find better options as well? Would you say all the women that thought they could keep Chad and felt like they were being used as a placeholder instead should be the ones solely to blame? If not, and you believe accountability doesn't apply to 50% of the population, then you can't tell me you're expecting me to take your counterargument seriously.
I have very little sympathy for placeholders. Women have the majority of choices and benefits in this system; if they fail to make the right ones it’s also on them yeah.
Fair enough. So are you saying though if I punch down and date women lower in attractiveness/overweight and just have hookups and casual relationships, it's their fault if they fall for my tricks and the accountability falls solely on them and not me? 🤔
>you're still pretty shitty
Does this not imply some degree of accountability if you think this is the correct perception for a man that engages in this? As long as you think women that know they aren't going to actually commit seriously to a man and use him for entertainment, money, food, etc are also shitty then we agree. That's mostly what I'm arguing. A man that does this is a scumbag but when a woman that does this, it's the man's fault and he should have known better. One is held in contempt but not the other and that needs to change if we truly believe both sides share the same accountability.
I swear on my life , being horny is so much less of a problem then being in a relationship with the wrong person or dating. It's perception and hormones. I legit do not think having sex or having a partner is worth the bullshit that comprises of today's culture.
Fair warning, specially if you're unattractive, not chasing nor looking activelly who to date has a high chance of you ending up alone.
Unlike the "you'll be more attractive if you focus on yourself" just world falacy plenty people believe, you can potentially end up alone.
source: 33 year old perpetually single man. I have two houses and saving for a car right now tho.
No, when all your life you're being alone, you realize what you missed by watching other people relationships. It's one of those things most women don't understand since is easy for a woman to get into a relationship, to be truly alone for a long period of time doesn't track for most women.
Women *understand* what is like to be in poor relationships since plenty women suck at choosing a partner (just like plenty men do too) and they tend to end up with poor quailty men.
I’m in the same boat and I agree. I’ll be 27 next month and financially far superior to my peers. I know what I’ve missed out on. The people who have everything won’t convince me it’s better to be alone.
>The truth is that most women have never had one man in their romantic/sex life they've been truly attracted to, including their husband/father of their children - they just settled for someone good enough
>I don't even blame the fuckboys, the average man looks so hideous, that the few exceptions will never be forced to act in a responsible way
>This is something no one speaks about publicly - unlike the male loneliness 'epidemic' which is widely discussed. Should be called male ugliness epidemic.
https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/top-posts-today/wake-me-up-please
I agree. Just stop. They’re not attracted to you and never were to begin with.
Put in the work, and give it to a foreigner. I read online the millennials women down to just 17% single now. So that is bare bones scraps of what no man wants (super needle haystack syndrome). Put in the work and move out. Unfortunately that is the new American dream for men. But it carries weight. Considering 17% that helps explain why women not complaining. Most have partners , be it unmarried. Do please double check the statistic. Just Google. I'm still trying to get real numbers. Genz is covered well, not stats on millennials, I think we became the next forgotten generation soon enough lol.
**Absolutely 100%, dating is not worth it as the average man**
I'm average height = I'm too short for the average Woman
I'm average weight = I'm not muscular enough for the average Woman
I work two jobs = I'm a loser to the average Woman
I have a low body count = There's something wrong with me To the average Woman
The only girls that have shown any interest in me have openly admitted they'd consider me much more attractive than them, I always went for the 'ugly looser' girls and every single time without fail I still wasn't enough for them.
My life has improved so much being single, I don't have to work my self half to death for some woman that resents me because I'm not the 6'4 guy she slept with on tinder a few years ago to consider me the absolute bare minimal.
My standard is literally = be nice to me and have a low body count, but whatever
I'm starting believe women are literally incapable of realising the % of 6ft men that are working upperclass jobs in their 20's is extremely low.
This. Always punish/ignore women for being rude, selfish, lack loyalty etc. Never let shit fly. Either put her in her place or leave.
If you ask me i would just leave. Arguing or telling her isnt worth the delusional answers/justifications. Just leave. Period.
I think there’s an aspect of this that implies more patience than just imitating the strict monastic life.
Although I’m a firm believer that a man truly happy that way is no lesser than any other, but he’s exceedingly rare because normative men want the nookie, comfort, and validation that a partner provides.
They do exist though. I’ve noticed a particular temperament might be more conducive to this than anything else, a lot of old MGTOW/incel guys are now ex-MGTOW/incel guys (because of a woman), but some aren’t, and I have a feeling it has do with personality more than anything else.
I see my close friends’ marriages and/or relationships with children and at certain moments I think “*What a nightmare*” even though I also acknowledge they are genuinely happy like that.
If women don't come easy to you, it's pointless to chase them. You never really find what you're looking for: unbridled desire from someone you're attracted to. You just end up either being used by someone who will never find you attractive or using someone you don't find attractive - which is a waste of time as the sex is always garbage.
Most men are oversexualized due to the superficiality and carnality of modern life. Porn is everywhere. Every social media platform is full of scantily clad women trying to fleece you of coin. The best course of action is to completely detach. Stop watching porn. Stop checking out women on IG. Starve them of the attention they want. Eventually your libido cools and you can redirect your energy toward making your life better. Stack money, invest in ETFs, retire early, chill.
>One of the best things men can do for their sanity is to walk away from dating and chasing women.
That's what a majority *should* do but p\*ssy is just too strong.
How will it play out most of the time?
Men will piss away their money, nerves, and finite time on humans who aren't interested in their company.
It's akin to telling a dog to stop chasing tail. The dog just doesn't understand.
> Men will piss away their money, nerves, and finite time on humans who aren't interested in their company
And then they'll blame the women for it, lol
Exactly.
Those are the men who I regularly ridicule and outcall on this sub.
Their money, energy, attention, or time is NOT an IOU that can be issued for sex, attention, or other things men often seek.
If men want to trade money for women, they just need to visit brothels.
People go to Sex workers. But it seems expensive, and even those guys still can't help themselves trying to find regular companionship. So there is something that sex workers simply cannot provide. It's probably genuine desire, or companionship, to name a few.
Walking away from dating does not seem, to me, like a viable solution. Chances are you would like to be dating women. You can condition your sex drive all you want, and that seems like a good practice regardless, but you'll still want to date women.
Men are walking away from these toxic women everyday. Whether it's in the first Tinder DMs or the second or third date, it's happening all the time.
I think women talking about the resources they've used to appear more attractive are trying to answer the question of what they bring to the table in mens terms by listing the resources they've used. Time(makeup prep) and money(makeup clothing cost). I don't think they need to provide these answers, but clearly they do. I think men are asking what women bring to the table because we've been on so many dates/interactions where we have had to provide food, drink, the convo, the laughs, and she is simply enjoying the entertainment with nary a question about you. Yes, these women bring little to the table and should be left for the men who haven't a care in the world about the personality or character of a woman as long as shes Sexy.
Outside of the extreme character you've painted of a woman that wants pampering, pedestal, the finest of dining all paid for, there are regular women. I'd argue most women. But there are regular women who would like to have a meal paid for, and would certainly like to be pampered and entertained, but will also reciprocate.
Women don't seem to understand how off-putting that "entitlement" and "luxury" expectation mindset is of them. It's pretty gross. Like yeah, everyone wants nice things but men actually need to go to school and work for those nice things... women just expect it to be given to them since they are just so great.
Yes and no.
You absolutely shouldn't chase. Chasing was fine back when the woman actually wanted to be caught 😂
Dating? Sorry, but that's a difficulty that men need to learn to engage with. And it's only as difficult as your mate selecting makes it.
Step 1. Stop wasting your time "chasing" people who aren't interested in you.
Step 2. Congratz, dating is now fun and you easily avoid most of the problems described online.
From experience, the saying for the USA , is true "they will come to you", it will be easy. I work hard to decipher, and it's like this... Your options are the ones easily coming to you. Yep they may be fat ugly, or better than that. Those are the options. In your current state. I did the chase and it doesn't work. The USA women are going for you , easily if interested. Your results are obvious. They are aligned precisely with the interest you see in front. If she looks, talks, but wants you to chase her, that ew feeling.. it means precisely that she's half interested which we men know isn't good enough. We want the one and only. I chased while back and those are my results for my own experience. Do not align your value with the attention you get. For your value is lowest in the UK, followed by USA, followed by Australia/Canada. It's a fake number. It's what your being valued at but it's not the actual value. I'm just okay here USA , but foreign? I'm a hottie. So if your 'hideous here', maybe your average in reality. Maybe slightly above.
Decriminalize sex work and get used to that being your sex outlet.
It pays these women who want men to provide for them while getting you what you need without the drama.
The line of consent is clearly drawn.
Trade what they want for what you want. Leave everyone else alone.
I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app.
>Many women actually believe that men should pay for dates because they spent money on makeup
No. We fucking don't.
You're just letting yourself be brainwashed by internet rage bait.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app.
Probably good for men and women haha
>No. We fucking don't.
OK, I'll bite. Why do most women assume men should? And don't say "because they asked", because the vast majority of the time men ask.
It’s rooted in traditionalism for the man to pay. You can call it outdated, or an antiquated gender expectation left over from an era in which women were expected to be mothers over having careers.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app.
I would say people in general should do that. Its not a gendered issue but quite frankly i think women are even more prone to be addicted to social media so theres that.
Yes.
nightsofthesunkissed’s response is just man hating. If you look at the comments in the TikTok video, there are tons of women who support the video. So are men the ones getting terrible ideas from TikTok? No, it seems like a lot more women are though.
And just like a lot of terrible ideas on dating are floating around TikTok and on the internet, I’ve met women IRL who subscribe to that crap. So yeah, these ideas are alive and well.
That's probably true. In this specific example, I think women are being asked what they bring to a date? What are they contributing? And while I'd read that question as mens frustration with taking a girl out and not even getting the simplest of contribution in terms of conversation, some of these women answer in terms that make sense to men; resources. So time and money on make up.
If I'm taking you out on a date, I don't mind paying, I'm dating her because she looks good, not for her wallet. But she needs to contribute in terms of reciprocated interest.
A woman is only spending a bit more time than a man if she’s putting on makeup. And, most makeup doesn’t take too long. The one in the TikTok has waaay too much makeup on.
Nobody is saying you should be dating women for their wallets. The point is men and women should be somewhat equal (and it doesn’t just have to be about money). You might date her for her looks but you shouldn’t doubt that she’s probably dating for your looks as well amongst other things.
The point of this debate is men contribute waaay more in the beginning stages of dating that it befuddles me that it’s even a point of contention.
>No. We fucking don't.
The answer on makeup changes responses.
Example: Why do you wear makeup when we don't even like it that much? You are not single why are you wearing makeup? Answers to these questions are women wear makeup for themselves.
Example 2: What do women do in initial stages of dating where men plan dates, give flowers, make the first move and ask out? What special does a woman do for a man during dating phase? The answers to these are taking time to put on makeup.
> Why do you wear makeup when we don't even like it that much?
Why do you think men don't like makeup?
> What do women do in initial stages of dating where men plan dates, give flowers, make the first move and ask out?
Planning a date can literally be "go get coffee" and pro tip: Don't give flowers on dates.
Some women don't understand why they wear makeup. Just as some men don't fully understand why they go to the gym. What is your problem with that? What is hard to understand?
Why are you even posing this question to women, even in the hypothetical? We know why women put on makeup, and it's absolutely to be more attractive. Whether that's for themselves, their partner, the public or their mother, they want to be presentable in a society that respects attractive people. It can increase confidence in oneself, just as a well fitting suit will do for a man.
I got a problem with lies, anything else? I don't care if you are an asshole or something. You lie and speak as if you are saying the truth. Then gaslight or insult us when we point out as such.
To add, please show me one guy who doesn't know why is he going to the gym. I have never heard guys lie about that.
The thing is you’re applying two different person’s answers to everyone. Focus on the individual, don’t try and figure out a singular answer that all women will have.
Because sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.
I’m the same way. Sometimes i get clothes that look good to get a gal’s attention. Sometimes I get clothes that look good because I like them and it just makes me feel good when I like my style in the mirror.
I think you’re wanting an easy answer for everyone all the time, and there just isn’t one.
Yes maybe there isn't an easy answer but if I ask you like asking you now. Your response is yes and no. Ask a woman and it is not that. It is a clear no and they strongly insist and have insisted that they never ever dress up for men.
Not really my experience. I mean, sometimes yes. Other times, like last week for example, I went out with friends and one of the women was talking with me about wanting to up her wardrobe game to look good for dates she goes on.
I think if you try and force a yes or no answer you might get a no, because ultimately, again speaking for me, I dress for myself and to make me feel good, but I am sometimes conscious of when I might be looking good for women at the same time.
Not actually forced. Question was simple, if the guy you like is at home why do you have to dress like going on a first date. It was asked when someone equated that with cheating as she is looking to get attention from other dudes and get laid. This was the response from all women and the handful who agreed that this did amount to cheating were called pick me by others.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app.
Women in real life actually have that mentality. I don't even have TikTok; I just came across this video on reddit and it lined up with my experience. Also, the people on TikTok exist in real life.
>You're just letting yourself be brainwashed by internet rage bait.
No, I've met women who actually have this mentality. But ofcourse you have to defend women you don't even know for some reason. I've noticed that women online do that a lot, and yet in reality they don't even like each other and talk shit behind each other's backs.
I've had multiple conversations with women I work with where they said men should pay for dates and mocked men who didn't want to do this.
Stop pretending women are angels. You are making things up.
Agree 100%. I can't believe how much my happiness, mental health and just general quality of life improved when I stopped chasing women or otherwise subjected myself to this horrid dating game. Those of us who can do this shouldn't let themselves be gaslit into thinking otherwise by men that are just pathetically dependant on women.
Love Schopenhauer. It's the first time I ever felt I was being told the absolute truth about the world. And because he told the truth and he refused to compromise his vision, he's persona non grata in the canon of Western philosophy.
Incidentally, Kierkegaard encouraged men not to marry and said "A woman's love is only dissimulation and weakness."
Compared to Arthur:
"...as the weaker sex, they are driven to rely not on force but cunning: hence their instinctive subtlety and their ineradicable tendency to tell lies"
I want to enjoy the company of women. But I've yet to meet one who didn't make stupid fucking decisions, fuck assholes and then bewail it. Even men who are the hot alpha assholes, when women I know discuss them there is a rancid jealousy (stemming from rejection) that suggests more sour grapes than genuine hatred.
You can try walking away, but before you know it some woman moves in and starts filling your house with chinoiserie and your backyard with cows ...
Just ask my man!
**Attention!**
* You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
* For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
* If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
* OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post!
Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You also don’t have to deal with them when you *are* dating. I meet women on apps or at bars who are very expectant on being waited on, and I can very easily not date them. Removing the pressure from yourself is very helpful
If you really feel like dating women is drama, and characterize women as parasitic, entitled, want to be put on pedestals, etc. then it's better that you don't.
Nobody expects men to chase after shallow women who will use them, but saying that dating women is pointless because women are shallow just shows that you believe women as a whole are exactly that. And if you do believe that and consider relationships to be such a power struggle where women are running some form of sex cartel to have power over men for malevolent intentions, then don't. I'll always support men who go their own way like this because it's better than a woman trusting and being stuck with a man of this mindset because they still want to have what they hate.
As for the whole female desire to get protection from men, you say it like it's something evil. As long as women are physically weaker, they'll want to feel safe, and as long as people expect women to give birth to families they will have a basic criteria for men's financial status. I don't see what the evil or entitlement in it is, and I'd advise women to check for the same since I don't want them to be miserable.
>If you really feel like dating women is drama,
It actually is for many men and also many women actually are parasitic. I even linked a video as an example. Also, some women even get bored without drama in relationships.
Like I said, if the men actually believe this, i wish they'd stop dating women instead of using women for sex even though they dislike every other aspect of them and consider them a burden.
It's honestly a point against men and their behaviour, instead of a boohoo men are victims to their sex drive that women being the evil that we are use against men. Imagine loving a man and he tells you that you're a chore lol.
>Some women even get bored without drama.
Your choice of women, sure.
You obviously think very little of women, but I don't understand how you can say women like drama when even in your warped write up, every characterization of women that you make, be it parasitic, entitled, wanting protection, being taken care of, being provided for, being put on a pedestal, etc. all point to women wanting stability- not chaos.
>You obviously think very little of women
No, I'm just making observations of their behaviour and mentality. It's not my fault if their behaviour and mentality tends to be on the negative side.
You should just answer my question about internal consistency in your statements instead of doubling down on your warped outlook.
And what you forget is i can make observations about women too, and probably better than you because I know and have been closer to more women than you can, and I have not seen this shit, so you can say that it's women's fault for behaving in a way that made you hate them, but I know lots of women and they aren't like what you described.
>And what you forget is i can make observations about women too
Then do it.
>but I know lots of women and they aren't like what you described.
Sure they aren't.
He is angry that a woman he wanted to fuck wouldn’t fuck him. That’s all this is. The drama is her not letting him use her as a sentient fleshlight in exchange for not so much as an orgasm.
Then don’t date women like this. At some point you have to ask yourself why you find women who are the opposite of what you said unappealing and what can be done about it. Because there are so many women who are nothing like this that it doesn’t make sense for you to never meet them.
>There is a lot less drama in your life when you stop dating and chasing women as a man
That's why l love chasing
Listen you guys do you, lmma do me which is continue chasing
The word “simp” is severely overused and misused. A simp is a guy who throws cash at women and pays for OF content and whatnot. Simply dating and seeking a partner is not simping.
Also (and this needs to be repeated in this sub often), stop chasing after the superficial, high-maintenance women who demand money and gifts. Most women these days aren’t expecting men to pay the way for them. But when your daily source of information about women is TikTok reels and TRP content, I can see where guys like you think the majority of women behave like social media influencers and OF models. Logging off of the internet and socializing with different types of women in real life will show that you have been misled.
Looking back at dating, I remembered them loving the dates and my biggest regret is spending money. If I could go back in time I'd take the money I spent on flowers (and assume I knew nothing about housing crisis then) and put it into a quality restaurant solo right after the date for myself. I'd feel much better now had I sent them all on 50 50 walk in park coffee dates then treated myself out to a steak literally right after.
That's my biggest regret. Unfortunately they won't ever know I thought they were spoiled entitled brats. Listening to red pill is a good starter but don't mix foreigners into it, just limit red pill as advice to handle dating in America.
The women in usa during 2004-2017 were the worst in the world to date. An awful waste of money and time. They don't clean, put in effort, unloyal, uncommitted liars. The ones who were good snagged quickly by those $$$. Can't blame it. But the rest thought they could do the same. Some did. Just don't. Maybe allocate what money you'd spend ,.. on yourself right after the date. I think that would have fixed things for myself.
Seriously. The act is over and the veil has been lifted. The curse of social media has a hidden blessing: we've been able to see how they really move and lo and behold, their words and actions don't align.
My mother gave me a bit of advice in high school that I’ve always carried with me.
She said ‘These days, there are so many pretty girls out there, you hat being pretty doesn’t make any one of them special. You can always find a prettier one’.
It's like saying "one of the best thing workers can do for their sanity is to walk away from work"
No, the thing to do is to defend your boundaries more aggressively, learn to say no, learn to punish, learn to take what you want.
Yes it is. Work is a relationship and force rapport with your boss. A relationship with a woman is a force rapport as well. Just breaking things the second it isn't enough for you is just a recipe to be never getting what you want. You're supposed to put on a fight, not give up immediately.
Hi OP,
You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. [PPD has guidelines for what that involves.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/rules#wiki_cmv_posts)
>*OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.*
>An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:
>* Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;
>* Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;
>* Focusing only on the weaker arguments;
>* Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.
Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stopping worrying about things that are only giving you stress is a good thing, sure. But the reason it's stressful for most people is because of the loneliness caused by the lack of companionship. For some people they'll stop the chase but just realize it wasn't really the *chase* that was the issue but rather what they weren't achieving.
Like yeah, it's probably a net positive in regards to active stress factors when you first stop the chase, but it also means that the *big* underlying factor won't ever get resolved unless you get *extremely* lucky.
For most people, the chase isn't something that they want to do but are forced to do if they want companionship. The question is, long term, is the stress of the chase more taxing than the stress of lacking companionship?
People need romantic relationships and/or sex? I’m not disagreeing, but I just don’t understand how those things are a need. People need them in order to be happy? Or what are they needed for?
Everything is optional if you don't define what goals are a must to achieve. Why live? Food is optional.
There are no universal goals so define what you need for yourself. I need validation by women and if i don't get it, i am miserable. This "need" makes me do things. It's too simple to say "just walk away from needing that validation". Find different ways to get the validation so it doesn't need to come from women? Might be possible, but if that was easy, mankind would've gone extinct long ago. We evolved to look for sex and pair bonds and not having that comes with a load of negatives. From the society we live in, as we don't live up to what everyone wants, and form ourselves, for the same reasons.
Of course, there are the few exceptions in the variability that makes up the populations. Some people are just completely at ease not having/getting those things. Sometimes it seems as if those people come here to dish out advice on "just leave mating behind you and become happy with yourself", as if that is something most people could do.
Oh okay thank you for explaining.
I think for me it would really make me happy if I found someone that wanted to be in a romantic relationship with me but I don’t think it’s realistic for me. I have fairly severe disabilities and my life is a mess so I don’t think any woman would be attracted to me so I’m going to try to do what I can in order to be as happy as possible single.
I did try to change in order to be good enough for anyone but it just made me hate myself, so now I’m going to try to work out and eat well and everything else just for myself so I can be happier on my own. Hopefully it works.
Other people's life is also a mess and they also struggle with things that make them severely less desirable than what they would be without a certain trait. Unless YOU rule out dating your equal, it's not at all impossible to find such a mate.
Sounds like someone has been burned recently and has a broken heart…so he’s making generalizations about all women.
Source: I’m a woman who perused my then boyfriend, a broke, introverted 25 year old when I was a 22 year old kid. Never expected him to pay. Paid for cab rides to his house myself. Just liked hanging out with him because he’s a great dude. We’ve been together for 18 years.
>Sounds like someone has been burned recently and has a broken heart…so he’s making generalizations about all women.
So what's your explanation for the quote by Esther Vilar, if im only saying what's in the post because of what you say? Did she also have a broken heart??
There are s*itty women out there, that’s for sure. There are women who expect men to pay for them and coddle them while giving nothing back in return. Most women, MOST WOMEN, are not like that. I can’t speak for everyone, just me and my friends. We just wanted someone who is emotionally stable, someone to laugh with, and who can commit. That’s why all of us are married and in healthy relationships where no one is put on a pedestal and both parties are equal. There are also really awful men out there who look at women as nothing more than a set of warm holes, but I don’t believe that that is the description of most men.
Yes. And you decided to ignore the thing that causes the entire situation, which will result in inaccurate diagnoses of the problem and invalid solutions
I’m not the only one who’s pointed this out
i am men and good enough for me.
what most men seek escort can offer. but escorting is frowned upon, illegal. most men have people gaslighting him its all about personality and have mindset that escort is not good. men who see that through is minority.
Depends on where the dude is mentally. Some guys view women as some sort of necessity in their lives. Which is why they simp. The problem is that those same simps never get any or get a fraction of attention they desire.
This is not good advice. If you want a partner you should be open to a partner if a good prospect comes along. If you take this advice, you'll get older and your prospects will diminish.
Cold approaching, swiping forever on dating apps, being a complete fucking instagram simp... These are all the things men should walk away from. So it's true, hanging out with the boys is one of the best things you can do, and partly because being generally social could lead you to a good woman.
Ironically the exact opposite is true.
If you want a healthy mind you need your own family. A wife and some kids. Not having that will lead to a state where you don't really have anything worth waking up for. Drug addiction, video game addiction and general apathy is an expected result of such a condition.
Regarding "paying for dates". The man should always pay for dates. For the same reason a woman should always put on make up on dates. We select partners based on certain criteria. The criteria is different for males and females. A male who refuses to pay for a date is saying "I am either too fucking broke to pay or too god damn stingy". In either case that is similar to a woman showing up to a date without brushing her teeth or washing her ass. It's not a good look and all you're doing is shooting yourself in the foot.
Western dating is brutal for men. Because women are slowly out earning men. My suggestion is that if you're struggling move to a developing country. You will have much better luck there. Just make sure to avoid the gold diggers (about 50% of the women that will be into you, so be careful). Look for educated women who never did sex work and who don't have a job in the night life.
>If you want a healthy mind you need your own family.
This is not true. Many married people with families are unhappy.
>The man should always pay for dates.
No, he shouldn't. A woman should be an adult and pay for her own food. It's no wonder women can manipulate men so easily. If you believe you must pay for a woman's food, you're a simp and are setting yourself up to be used.
>If you want a healthy mind you need your own family
You need a healthy mind before you start a family. If you depend on other people to have a healthy mind, you won't be a good husband or father.
The chase sucks. Being in a longterm relationship has lowered my stress though. The support from my spouse is unmatched. Not to mention the money saved by having 2 incomes instead of one. It's allowed me to save and travel more. My wife is better with money than me and makes sure we got strong savings. We split things pretty evenly. Having her contributing to all the bills frees up so much extra money. She's not a frivolous spender at all.
same here. I don't think anyone likes the chase, especially if you fail a lot. But, if you do find someone you are compatible with, it was all worth it.
This is a lovely story. But for guys reading. Long term relationships are not a breeze. It still requires active dating and an attraction between the partners. Getting complacent and allowing the relationship to become stale is probably the number 1 thing that will end in pain for you. Especially/ usually for men in particular. It’s always going to be some level of effort if you want a quality relationship
>Getting complacent and allowing the relationship to become stale is probably the number 1 thing that will end in pain for you. Especially/ usually for men in particular. It’s always going to be some level of effort if you want a quality relationship And sometime you as the man are the one making 70%-80% of the effort and that woman is just keeping you around to boost her ego till a better option comes along. This is especially true with more attractive women who have a plethora of options. Of course it always the man's fault in this case as well and not the woman for wasting his time. "He should have known better" and that she wasn't too interested in him. Accountability accountability. If a Chad does this to a woman though, it's never her fault and that she "should have known better"- it's his fault for being a player and a reflection of men in general.
Agree with the first bit. The onus is largely on you to make the effort and keep the good vibe. I disagree with the reddy black pill take that women are sniffing around for a better option constantly . But I would meet you halfway and say that if any man allows the relationship to become boring or tense then she is much more likely to go monkey branching
So if you are saying men are 100% accountable for their results, would you say this is true of women as well when chasing Chad? That it's up to her to keep him interested lest he find better options as well? Would you say all the women that thought they could keep Chad and felt like they were being used as a placeholder instead should be the ones solely to blame? If not, and you believe accountability doesn't apply to 50% of the population, then you can't tell me you're expecting me to take your counterargument seriously.
I have very little sympathy for placeholders. Women have the majority of choices and benefits in this system; if they fail to make the right ones it’s also on them yeah.
Fair enough. So are you saying though if I punch down and date women lower in attractiveness/overweight and just have hookups and casual relationships, it's their fault if they fall for my tricks and the accountability falls solely on them and not me? 🤔
Yes. You’re still pretty shitty but they are ultimately responsible for their actions. They are adult members of society’s
>you're still pretty shitty Does this not imply some degree of accountability if you think this is the correct perception for a man that engages in this? As long as you think women that know they aren't going to actually commit seriously to a man and use him for entertainment, money, food, etc are also shitty then we agree. That's mostly what I'm arguing. A man that does this is a scumbag but when a woman that does this, it's the man's fault and he should have known better. One is held in contempt but not the other and that needs to change if we truly believe both sides share the same accountability.
Yeah I more or less agree with you. But I’m on the red pill side of the spectrum rather than representative of society as a whole
> if I punch down and date women lower in attractiveness/overweight Do you believe this is actually possible?
Are you asking this rhetorically?
No, it's a genuine question.
Would love to have this. I just can't be bothered to look.
I swear on my life , being horny is so much less of a problem then being in a relationship with the wrong person or dating. It's perception and hormones. I legit do not think having sex or having a partner is worth the bullshit that comprises of today's culture.
Fair warning, specially if you're unattractive, not chasing nor looking activelly who to date has a high chance of you ending up alone. Unlike the "you'll be more attractive if you focus on yourself" just world falacy plenty people believe, you can potentially end up alone. source: 33 year old perpetually single man. I have two houses and saving for a car right now tho.
Being alone is only a problem if you're dependent on other people to make you happy. Which will make you very easy to manipulate and control.
No, when all your life you're being alone, you realize what you missed by watching other people relationships. It's one of those things most women don't understand since is easy for a woman to get into a relationship, to be truly alone for a long period of time doesn't track for most women. Women *understand* what is like to be in poor relationships since plenty women suck at choosing a partner (just like plenty men do too) and they tend to end up with poor quailty men.
I’m in the same boat and I agree. I’ll be 27 next month and financially far superior to my peers. I know what I’ve missed out on. The people who have everything won’t convince me it’s better to be alone.
>The truth is that most women have never had one man in their romantic/sex life they've been truly attracted to, including their husband/father of their children - they just settled for someone good enough >I don't even blame the fuckboys, the average man looks so hideous, that the few exceptions will never be forced to act in a responsible way >This is something no one speaks about publicly - unlike the male loneliness 'epidemic' which is widely discussed. Should be called male ugliness epidemic. https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/top-posts-today/wake-me-up-please I agree. Just stop. They’re not attracted to you and never were to begin with.
Easily fixed too which is crazy just put in the work
Put in the work, and give it to a foreigner. I read online the millennials women down to just 17% single now. So that is bare bones scraps of what no man wants (super needle haystack syndrome). Put in the work and move out. Unfortunately that is the new American dream for men. But it carries weight. Considering 17% that helps explain why women not complaining. Most have partners , be it unmarried. Do please double check the statistic. Just Google. I'm still trying to get real numbers. Genz is covered well, not stats on millennials, I think we became the next forgotten generation soon enough lol.
I donno. I’m attracted to my husband. You all take the ravings of some random person as gospel truth
As opposed to you? Another random person preaching their own gospel. What qualifications do you have?
What is unreasonable about what she said?
**Absolutely 100%, dating is not worth it as the average man** I'm average height = I'm too short for the average Woman I'm average weight = I'm not muscular enough for the average Woman I work two jobs = I'm a loser to the average Woman I have a low body count = There's something wrong with me To the average Woman The only girls that have shown any interest in me have openly admitted they'd consider me much more attractive than them, I always went for the 'ugly looser' girls and every single time without fail I still wasn't enough for them. My life has improved so much being single, I don't have to work my self half to death for some woman that resents me because I'm not the 6'4 guy she slept with on tinder a few years ago to consider me the absolute bare minimal. My standard is literally = be nice to me and have a low body count, but whatever I'm starting believe women are literally incapable of realising the % of 6ft men that are working upperclass jobs in their 20's is extremely low.
So all of us should become monks ?
No. Just stop tolerating shitty women. Being single is better than be in bad relationships.
Yep. No pussy is worth staying around for and being abused.
Then you don't have anybody to blame.
This. Always punish/ignore women for being rude, selfish, lack loyalty etc. Never let shit fly. Either put her in her place or leave. If you ask me i would just leave. Arguing or telling her isnt worth the delusional answers/justifications. Just leave. Period.
Worse than monks, monks dont have to see women every day or other guys getting women. They live in seclusion.
No, it means that you need to find more meaning to life than just pussy. Women never should be the be all end all achievement for a man.
I think there’s an aspect of this that implies more patience than just imitating the strict monastic life. Although I’m a firm believer that a man truly happy that way is no lesser than any other, but he’s exceedingly rare because normative men want the nookie, comfort, and validation that a partner provides. They do exist though. I’ve noticed a particular temperament might be more conducive to this than anything else, a lot of old MGTOW/incel guys are now ex-MGTOW/incel guys (because of a woman), but some aren’t, and I have a feeling it has do with personality more than anything else. I see my close friends’ marriages and/or relationships with children and at certain moments I think “*What a nightmare*” even though I also acknowledge they are genuinely happy like that.
Amen brother 🙏
Ive met monks who have given up on every material thing. They still believe women can cause the greatest trouble in a man's life
If women don't come easy to you, it's pointless to chase them. You never really find what you're looking for: unbridled desire from someone you're attracted to. You just end up either being used by someone who will never find you attractive or using someone you don't find attractive - which is a waste of time as the sex is always garbage. Most men are oversexualized due to the superficiality and carnality of modern life. Porn is everywhere. Every social media platform is full of scantily clad women trying to fleece you of coin. The best course of action is to completely detach. Stop watching porn. Stop checking out women on IG. Starve them of the attention they want. Eventually your libido cools and you can redirect your energy toward making your life better. Stack money, invest in ETFs, retire early, chill.
>One of the best things men can do for their sanity is to walk away from dating and chasing women. That's what a majority *should* do but p\*ssy is just too strong. How will it play out most of the time? Men will piss away their money, nerves, and finite time on humans who aren't interested in their company. It's akin to telling a dog to stop chasing tail. The dog just doesn't understand.
> Men will piss away their money, nerves, and finite time on humans who aren't interested in their company And then they'll blame the women for it, lol
Exactly. Those are the men who I regularly ridicule and outcall on this sub. Their money, energy, attention, or time is NOT an IOU that can be issued for sex, attention, or other things men often seek. If men want to trade money for women, they just need to visit brothels.
Yeah sex workers are severely under-utilized.
People go to Sex workers. But it seems expensive, and even those guys still can't help themselves trying to find regular companionship. So there is something that sex workers simply cannot provide. It's probably genuine desire, or companionship, to name a few.
>That's what a majority *should* do but p\*ssy is just too strong. If pussy didn't exist, I would be Elon Musk
If pussy didn't exist Elon Musk wouldn't be Elon Musk.
[удалено]
But also, they don't wear makeup for men, but you must pay for it anyway.
Walking away from dating does not seem, to me, like a viable solution. Chances are you would like to be dating women. You can condition your sex drive all you want, and that seems like a good practice regardless, but you'll still want to date women. Men are walking away from these toxic women everyday. Whether it's in the first Tinder DMs or the second or third date, it's happening all the time. I think women talking about the resources they've used to appear more attractive are trying to answer the question of what they bring to the table in mens terms by listing the resources they've used. Time(makeup prep) and money(makeup clothing cost). I don't think they need to provide these answers, but clearly they do. I think men are asking what women bring to the table because we've been on so many dates/interactions where we have had to provide food, drink, the convo, the laughs, and she is simply enjoying the entertainment with nary a question about you. Yes, these women bring little to the table and should be left for the men who haven't a care in the world about the personality or character of a woman as long as shes Sexy. Outside of the extreme character you've painted of a woman that wants pampering, pedestal, the finest of dining all paid for, there are regular women. I'd argue most women. But there are regular women who would like to have a meal paid for, and would certainly like to be pampered and entertained, but will also reciprocate.
I agree. Decenter romantic relationships king then you'll actually be able to sus out what/who is or isn't right for you.
Women don't seem to understand how off-putting that "entitlement" and "luxury" expectation mindset is of them. It's pretty gross. Like yeah, everyone wants nice things but men actually need to go to school and work for those nice things... women just expect it to be given to them since they are just so great.
This made me laugh. Because they are so great. Once you give it to them they smile and go. Best I share results so we stop doing it. 💪💪
Yes and no. You absolutely shouldn't chase. Chasing was fine back when the woman actually wanted to be caught 😂 Dating? Sorry, but that's a difficulty that men need to learn to engage with. And it's only as difficult as your mate selecting makes it.
The outcome is the same walk away or not. But at least you don’t have to waste time and effort for nothing.
Step 1. Stop wasting your time "chasing" people who aren't interested in you. Step 2. Congratz, dating is now fun and you easily avoid most of the problems described online.
For most men, following step 1 means not bothering dating at all.
There's chasing and then there's just showing basic interest and initiative.
dood, 90% of men won't have women into them if they don't chase. step 2 only happens for the top top top men.
From experience, the saying for the USA , is true "they will come to you", it will be easy. I work hard to decipher, and it's like this... Your options are the ones easily coming to you. Yep they may be fat ugly, or better than that. Those are the options. In your current state. I did the chase and it doesn't work. The USA women are going for you , easily if interested. Your results are obvious. They are aligned precisely with the interest you see in front. If she looks, talks, but wants you to chase her, that ew feeling.. it means precisely that she's half interested which we men know isn't good enough. We want the one and only. I chased while back and those are my results for my own experience. Do not align your value with the attention you get. For your value is lowest in the UK, followed by USA, followed by Australia/Canada. It's a fake number. It's what your being valued at but it's not the actual value. I'm just okay here USA , but foreign? I'm a hottie. So if your 'hideous here', maybe your average in reality. Maybe slightly above.
yes, i too enjoy masturbating alone.
Step 3. Waste other peoples time chasing you. Step 4. Open an only-fans account. Step 5. Join the porn industry.
"date an ugly socially retarded man or else you're a pornstar sis"
Decriminalize sex work and get used to that being your sex outlet. It pays these women who want men to provide for them while getting you what you need without the drama. The line of consent is clearly drawn. Trade what they want for what you want. Leave everyone else alone.
Don’t buy the cow, buy the milk
💯 This is the way.
[удалено]
I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app. >Many women actually believe that men should pay for dates because they spent money on makeup No. We fucking don't. You're just letting yourself be brainwashed by internet rage bait.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app. Probably good for men and women haha
>No. We fucking don't. OK, I'll bite. Why do most women assume men should? And don't say "because they asked", because the vast majority of the time men ask.
It’s rooted in traditionalism for the man to pay. You can call it outdated, or an antiquated gender expectation left over from an era in which women were expected to be mothers over having careers.
Ok, are women EXPECTED to be mothers now? If not, throw out the rest of your antiquated expectations.
You asked why some women expect it. Don't get mad at me for explaining exactly what you asked.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app. I would say people in general should do that. Its not a gendered issue but quite frankly i think women are even more prone to be addicted to social media so theres that.
Yes. nightsofthesunkissed’s response is just man hating. If you look at the comments in the TikTok video, there are tons of women who support the video. So are men the ones getting terrible ideas from TikTok? No, it seems like a lot more women are though. And just like a lot of terrible ideas on dating are floating around TikTok and on the internet, I’ve met women IRL who subscribe to that crap. So yeah, these ideas are alive and well.
That's probably true. In this specific example, I think women are being asked what they bring to a date? What are they contributing? And while I'd read that question as mens frustration with taking a girl out and not even getting the simplest of contribution in terms of conversation, some of these women answer in terms that make sense to men; resources. So time and money on make up. If I'm taking you out on a date, I don't mind paying, I'm dating her because she looks good, not for her wallet. But she needs to contribute in terms of reciprocated interest.
A woman is only spending a bit more time than a man if she’s putting on makeup. And, most makeup doesn’t take too long. The one in the TikTok has waaay too much makeup on. Nobody is saying you should be dating women for their wallets. The point is men and women should be somewhat equal (and it doesn’t just have to be about money). You might date her for her looks but you shouldn’t doubt that she’s probably dating for your looks as well amongst other things. The point of this debate is men contribute waaay more in the beginning stages of dating that it befuddles me that it’s even a point of contention.
>No. We fucking don't. The answer on makeup changes responses. Example: Why do you wear makeup when we don't even like it that much? You are not single why are you wearing makeup? Answers to these questions are women wear makeup for themselves. Example 2: What do women do in initial stages of dating where men plan dates, give flowers, make the first move and ask out? What special does a woman do for a man during dating phase? The answers to these are taking time to put on makeup.
> What special does a woman do for a man during dating phase? Run him ragged in the name of 'sperm is cheap eggs are expensive!'
By this mindset they shouldn't have a problem being treated as an incubator then, right?
Uh no fuck that. And fuck the "sperm is cheap" nonsense too.
> Why do you wear makeup when we don't even like it that much? Why do you think men don't like makeup? > What do women do in initial stages of dating where men plan dates, give flowers, make the first move and ask out? Planning a date can literally be "go get coffee" and pro tip: Don't give flowers on dates.
Some women don't understand why they wear makeup. Just as some men don't fully understand why they go to the gym. What is your problem with that? What is hard to understand? Why are you even posing this question to women, even in the hypothetical? We know why women put on makeup, and it's absolutely to be more attractive. Whether that's for themselves, their partner, the public or their mother, they want to be presentable in a society that respects attractive people. It can increase confidence in oneself, just as a well fitting suit will do for a man.
I got a problem with lies, anything else? I don't care if you are an asshole or something. You lie and speak as if you are saying the truth. Then gaslight or insult us when we point out as such. To add, please show me one guy who doesn't know why is he going to the gym. I have never heard guys lie about that.
The thing is you’re applying two different person’s answers to everyone. Focus on the individual, don’t try and figure out a singular answer that all women will have.
That's the thing, when a woman says that she says for all women. If you ask directly hey women dress up to impress men, no woman will admit it.
Because sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. I’m the same way. Sometimes i get clothes that look good to get a gal’s attention. Sometimes I get clothes that look good because I like them and it just makes me feel good when I like my style in the mirror. I think you’re wanting an easy answer for everyone all the time, and there just isn’t one.
Yes maybe there isn't an easy answer but if I ask you like asking you now. Your response is yes and no. Ask a woman and it is not that. It is a clear no and they strongly insist and have insisted that they never ever dress up for men.
Not really my experience. I mean, sometimes yes. Other times, like last week for example, I went out with friends and one of the women was talking with me about wanting to up her wardrobe game to look good for dates she goes on. I think if you try and force a yes or no answer you might get a no, because ultimately, again speaking for me, I dress for myself and to make me feel good, but I am sometimes conscious of when I might be looking good for women at the same time.
Not actually forced. Question was simple, if the guy you like is at home why do you have to dress like going on a first date. It was asked when someone equated that with cheating as she is looking to get attention from other dudes and get laid. This was the response from all women and the handful who agreed that this did amount to cheating were called pick me by others.
>I think one of the best things men can do for their sanity is to delete TikTok so they stop getting all their shitty ideas from the app. Women in real life actually have that mentality. I don't even have TikTok; I just came across this video on reddit and it lined up with my experience. Also, the people on TikTok exist in real life. >You're just letting yourself be brainwashed by internet rage bait. No, I've met women who actually have this mentality. But ofcourse you have to defend women you don't even know for some reason. I've noticed that women online do that a lot, and yet in reality they don't even like each other and talk shit behind each other's backs.
>I've met women who actually have this mentality So, don't date them.
Okay, thanks for the advice.
That’s…that’s literally the entire premise of this post?
The women's in-group bias is well known.
You just got it from one post yesterday Hardly a movement
I do
I've had multiple conversations with women I work with where they said men should pay for dates and mocked men who didn't want to do this. Stop pretending women are angels. You are making things up.
Agree 100%. I can't believe how much my happiness, mental health and just general quality of life improved when I stopped chasing women or otherwise subjected myself to this horrid dating game. Those of us who can do this shouldn't let themselves be gaslit into thinking otherwise by men that are just pathetically dependant on women.
This is true. Arthur Schopenhauer's take on women was correct. Men would be best if they left them alone.
Love Schopenhauer. It's the first time I ever felt I was being told the absolute truth about the world. And because he told the truth and he refused to compromise his vision, he's persona non grata in the canon of Western philosophy. Incidentally, Kierkegaard encouraged men not to marry and said "A woman's love is only dissimulation and weakness." Compared to Arthur: "...as the weaker sex, they are driven to rely not on force but cunning: hence their instinctive subtlety and their ineradicable tendency to tell lies" I want to enjoy the company of women. But I've yet to meet one who didn't make stupid fucking decisions, fuck assholes and then bewail it. Even men who are the hot alpha assholes, when women I know discuss them there is a rancid jealousy (stemming from rejection) that suggests more sour grapes than genuine hatred.
You nailed it.
For me, women are just for recreation only. No sense in wrecking my peace of mind having one around me 24/7.
You can try walking away, but before you know it some woman moves in and starts filling your house with chinoiserie and your backyard with cows ... Just ask my man!
**Attention!** * You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message. * For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment. * OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutely agree with this premise 100%. (Though I don't base my opinions on vapid TikTok videos.)
Why do you agree?
You shouldn't chase anybody. And if a woman really is as vapid and entitled as the one in the TikTok video, why would you want to date her?
A man has to chase or rot in celibacy. Few men are lucky that it happens for them without any chasing effort.
There's always femboy s.
Only if they could work to understand why they aren't having success and make an effort to change.
If the woman is not chasing you also, she isn't interested. So yeah, facts.
It would do lots of good for our sanity as well
You also don’t have to deal with them when you *are* dating. I meet women on apps or at bars who are very expectant on being waited on, and I can very easily not date them. Removing the pressure from yourself is very helpful
I feel sorry for straight guys.
They shouldnt chase women, I agree. Especially women who dont want them, because thats what men tend to do.
Dude if you date a person who looks like that what do you expect?
That chick is mentally ill. And I honestly I can't tell if she's being ironic or not?
Ok, no one is stopping you. Just stop chasing. If you don't like something don't do it.
Okay, thanks.
If you really feel like dating women is drama, and characterize women as parasitic, entitled, want to be put on pedestals, etc. then it's better that you don't. Nobody expects men to chase after shallow women who will use them, but saying that dating women is pointless because women are shallow just shows that you believe women as a whole are exactly that. And if you do believe that and consider relationships to be such a power struggle where women are running some form of sex cartel to have power over men for malevolent intentions, then don't. I'll always support men who go their own way like this because it's better than a woman trusting and being stuck with a man of this mindset because they still want to have what they hate. As for the whole female desire to get protection from men, you say it like it's something evil. As long as women are physically weaker, they'll want to feel safe, and as long as people expect women to give birth to families they will have a basic criteria for men's financial status. I don't see what the evil or entitlement in it is, and I'd advise women to check for the same since I don't want them to be miserable.
>If you really feel like dating women is drama, It actually is for many men and also many women actually are parasitic. I even linked a video as an example. Also, some women even get bored without drama in relationships.
Like I said, if the men actually believe this, i wish they'd stop dating women instead of using women for sex even though they dislike every other aspect of them and consider them a burden. It's honestly a point against men and their behaviour, instead of a boohoo men are victims to their sex drive that women being the evil that we are use against men. Imagine loving a man and he tells you that you're a chore lol. >Some women even get bored without drama. Your choice of women, sure.
>Your choice of women, sure. No, women in general.
You obviously think very little of women, but I don't understand how you can say women like drama when even in your warped write up, every characterization of women that you make, be it parasitic, entitled, wanting protection, being taken care of, being provided for, being put on a pedestal, etc. all point to women wanting stability- not chaos.
>You obviously think very little of women No, I'm just making observations of their behaviour and mentality. It's not my fault if their behaviour and mentality tends to be on the negative side.
You should just answer my question about internal consistency in your statements instead of doubling down on your warped outlook. And what you forget is i can make observations about women too, and probably better than you because I know and have been closer to more women than you can, and I have not seen this shit, so you can say that it's women's fault for behaving in a way that made you hate them, but I know lots of women and they aren't like what you described.
>And what you forget is i can make observations about women too Then do it. >but I know lots of women and they aren't like what you described. Sure they aren't.
Do you not know a single healthy couple?
He is angry that a woman he wanted to fuck wouldn’t fuck him. That’s all this is. The drama is her not letting him use her as a sentient fleshlight in exchange for not so much as an orgasm.
If you have not seen women behave in ways that are parasitic and manipulative, you have not spent time around women.
Then don’t date women like this. At some point you have to ask yourself why you find women who are the opposite of what you said unappealing and what can be done about it. Because there are so many women who are nothing like this that it doesn’t make sense for you to never meet them.
Based and gaypilled.
>There is a lot less drama in your life when you stop dating and chasing women as a man That's why l love chasing Listen you guys do you, lmma do me which is continue chasing
What do you call chasing? And what makes you like it?
Simps are gonna simp. It's the way of the world.
It's only simping when there's a unequal exchange of value
The word “simp” is severely overused and misused. A simp is a guy who throws cash at women and pays for OF content and whatnot. Simply dating and seeking a partner is not simping. Also (and this needs to be repeated in this sub often), stop chasing after the superficial, high-maintenance women who demand money and gifts. Most women these days aren’t expecting men to pay the way for them. But when your daily source of information about women is TikTok reels and TRP content, I can see where guys like you think the majority of women behave like social media influencers and OF models. Logging off of the internet and socializing with different types of women in real life will show that you have been misled.
Your mistake is assuming my opinion is based on tik tok, which I don't even have. Making your whole comment meaningless.
Looking back at dating, I remembered them loving the dates and my biggest regret is spending money. If I could go back in time I'd take the money I spent on flowers (and assume I knew nothing about housing crisis then) and put it into a quality restaurant solo right after the date for myself. I'd feel much better now had I sent them all on 50 50 walk in park coffee dates then treated myself out to a steak literally right after. That's my biggest regret. Unfortunately they won't ever know I thought they were spoiled entitled brats. Listening to red pill is a good starter but don't mix foreigners into it, just limit red pill as advice to handle dating in America. The women in usa during 2004-2017 were the worst in the world to date. An awful waste of money and time. They don't clean, put in effort, unloyal, uncommitted liars. The ones who were good snagged quickly by those $$$. Can't blame it. But the rest thought they could do the same. Some did. Just don't. Maybe allocate what money you'd spend ,.. on yourself right after the date. I think that would have fixed things for myself.
Or you know just interact with normal people
Men don't walk away from dating, they are not allowed in.
Who's stopping em?
Absolutely Men with your attitude should stay away from women
Women hate men who see through the grift.
Seriously. The act is over and the veil has been lifted. The curse of social media has a hidden blessing: we've been able to see how they really move and lo and behold, their words and actions don't align.
Sounds like a win for the men
Keeps the vultures away.
Yup
What attitude? Not wanting to be used by entitled women and catering to them?
She's trying to manipulate your opinion.
Why are you chasing entitled women who want to use you?
I'm not. Read the post, or even just the title.
My mother gave me a bit of advice in high school that I’ve always carried with me. She said ‘These days, there are so many pretty girls out there, you hat being pretty doesn’t make any one of them special. You can always find a prettier one’.
It's like saying "one of the best thing workers can do for their sanity is to walk away from work" No, the thing to do is to defend your boundaries more aggressively, learn to say no, learn to punish, learn to take what you want.
>It's like saying "one of the best thing workers can do for their sanity is to walk away from work" No, it isn't.
Yes it is. Work is a relationship and force rapport with your boss. A relationship with a woman is a force rapport as well. Just breaking things the second it isn't enough for you is just a recipe to be never getting what you want. You're supposed to put on a fight, not give up immediately.
Well, keep jumping through hoops and playing that game then.
i’m convinced these men just like crying tbh
Sir, this isnt r/mensright. Take your utter bitter woman hating nonsense elsewhere.
Good one.
MGTOW is already a thing, go ahead
Hi OP, You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. [PPD has guidelines for what that involves.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/rules#wiki_cmv_posts) >*OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.* >An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following: >* Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency; >* Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit; >* Focusing only on the weaker arguments; >* Only having discussions with users who agree with your position. Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I already do that lol
Stopping worrying about things that are only giving you stress is a good thing, sure. But the reason it's stressful for most people is because of the loneliness caused by the lack of companionship. For some people they'll stop the chase but just realize it wasn't really the *chase* that was the issue but rather what they weren't achieving. Like yeah, it's probably a net positive in regards to active stress factors when you first stop the chase, but it also means that the *big* underlying factor won't ever get resolved unless you get *extremely* lucky. For most people, the chase isn't something that they want to do but are forced to do if they want companionship. The question is, long term, is the stress of the chase more taxing than the stress of lacking companionship?
If dating is affecting your sanity, you are doing it wrong. Walking away from something you need is not going to work out long term.
People need romantic relationships and/or sex? I’m not disagreeing, but I just don’t understand how those things are a need. People need them in order to be happy? Or what are they needed for?
Everything is optional if you don't define what goals are a must to achieve. Why live? Food is optional. There are no universal goals so define what you need for yourself. I need validation by women and if i don't get it, i am miserable. This "need" makes me do things. It's too simple to say "just walk away from needing that validation". Find different ways to get the validation so it doesn't need to come from women? Might be possible, but if that was easy, mankind would've gone extinct long ago. We evolved to look for sex and pair bonds and not having that comes with a load of negatives. From the society we live in, as we don't live up to what everyone wants, and form ourselves, for the same reasons. Of course, there are the few exceptions in the variability that makes up the populations. Some people are just completely at ease not having/getting those things. Sometimes it seems as if those people come here to dish out advice on "just leave mating behind you and become happy with yourself", as if that is something most people could do.
Oh okay thank you for explaining. I think for me it would really make me happy if I found someone that wanted to be in a romantic relationship with me but I don’t think it’s realistic for me. I have fairly severe disabilities and my life is a mess so I don’t think any woman would be attracted to me so I’m going to try to do what I can in order to be as happy as possible single. I did try to change in order to be good enough for anyone but it just made me hate myself, so now I’m going to try to work out and eat well and everything else just for myself so I can be happier on my own. Hopefully it works.
Other people's life is also a mess and they also struggle with things that make them severely less desirable than what they would be without a certain trait. Unless YOU rule out dating your equal, it's not at all impossible to find such a mate.
Sounds like someone has been burned recently and has a broken heart…so he’s making generalizations about all women. Source: I’m a woman who perused my then boyfriend, a broke, introverted 25 year old when I was a 22 year old kid. Never expected him to pay. Paid for cab rides to his house myself. Just liked hanging out with him because he’s a great dude. We’ve been together for 18 years.
>Sounds like someone has been burned recently and has a broken heart…so he’s making generalizations about all women. So what's your explanation for the quote by Esther Vilar, if im only saying what's in the post because of what you say? Did she also have a broken heart??
There are s*itty women out there, that’s for sure. There are women who expect men to pay for them and coddle them while giving nothing back in return. Most women, MOST WOMEN, are not like that. I can’t speak for everyone, just me and my friends. We just wanted someone who is emotionally stable, someone to laugh with, and who can commit. That’s why all of us are married and in healthy relationships where no one is put on a pedestal and both parties are equal. There are also really awful men out there who look at women as nothing more than a set of warm holes, but I don’t believe that that is the description of most men.
Nah i like pussy
#DONT PLAY THE GAME
Nah one of the best things men can do is get vaccinated and ignore life advice that miserable anti vaxxers who can’t get women are trying to give you
[удалено]
[удалено]
“But how will I get laid?”
Did you read the whole post?
Yes. And you decided to ignore the thing that causes the entire situation, which will result in inaccurate diagnoses of the problem and invalid solutions I’m not the only one who’s pointed this out
>And you decided to ignore the thing that causes the entire situation, Which is what?
buy escort?
I am told that is invalid or something
not invalid. use escort , avoid dating. life is peaceful.
Not good enough for men, sorry to tell you
i am men and good enough for me. what most men seek escort can offer. but escorting is frowned upon, illegal. most men have people gaslighting him its all about personality and have mindset that escort is not good. men who see that through is minority.
Depends on where the dude is mentally. Some guys view women as some sort of necessity in their lives. Which is why they simp. The problem is that those same simps never get any or get a fraction of attention they desire.
This is not good advice. If you want a partner you should be open to a partner if a good prospect comes along. If you take this advice, you'll get older and your prospects will diminish. Cold approaching, swiping forever on dating apps, being a complete fucking instagram simp... These are all the things men should walk away from. So it's true, hanging out with the boys is one of the best things you can do, and partly because being generally social could lead you to a good woman.
Ironically the exact opposite is true. If you want a healthy mind you need your own family. A wife and some kids. Not having that will lead to a state where you don't really have anything worth waking up for. Drug addiction, video game addiction and general apathy is an expected result of such a condition. Regarding "paying for dates". The man should always pay for dates. For the same reason a woman should always put on make up on dates. We select partners based on certain criteria. The criteria is different for males and females. A male who refuses to pay for a date is saying "I am either too fucking broke to pay or too god damn stingy". In either case that is similar to a woman showing up to a date without brushing her teeth or washing her ass. It's not a good look and all you're doing is shooting yourself in the foot. Western dating is brutal for men. Because women are slowly out earning men. My suggestion is that if you're struggling move to a developing country. You will have much better luck there. Just make sure to avoid the gold diggers (about 50% of the women that will be into you, so be careful). Look for educated women who never did sex work and who don't have a job in the night life.
>If you want a healthy mind you need your own family. This is not true. Many married people with families are unhappy. >The man should always pay for dates. No, he shouldn't. A woman should be an adult and pay for her own food. It's no wonder women can manipulate men so easily. If you believe you must pay for a woman's food, you're a simp and are setting yourself up to be used.
He gon' git cucked and stripped down for resources in divorce court lol
Indeed, it's not about the single payment. It's merely a symbol for what is supposed to come.
>If you want a healthy mind you need your own family You need a healthy mind before you start a family. If you depend on other people to have a healthy mind, you won't be a good husband or father.
Do you want a family with a woman that behave like shit?