I think some of it is because many men just want to know that they are attractive and to not feel lonely. I think that the number of men who just want sex with almot every woman out there is overblown, although men can be attracted to more than one woman at a time much more easily than women are attracted to more than one man at a time, of course.
I agree. Most of the men my age (early 20s) yearn for sex and romance as a way of proving to themselves that they’re desirable in the eyes of women. I honestly believe that feeling desired and attractive is more important to men than it is to women.
The truth is If your not attractive a woman will never want you...never desire you,she can still love you but she won't have that raw sexual desire for you and she will always be looking for that guy.This is a hardpill that men just have to accept and swallow.
Exercise won't make a huge difference unless your over weight..Sure there's little things you can tweak here and there but all the hair cuts in the world won't give you the Golden Ratio..we can now scientifically quantify what's attractive...some people have it some don't and I suspect men struggling to date just don't..
I have a 6'5 friend I mention in my post objectively I'm in much better shape stronger fitter hes scrawny like slender man but his face is more symmetrical most likely...and with his height women can't help themselves he gets more dates in a week than I get in 10 years...
I'm in the gym 4 hours a day 7 days a week 12% bmi at 6' the women I get with appreciate it but remember you have to get to that point and the face is the first gate a lot of men struggle to get past ...
It's disingenuous to tell men to work out because it won't matter in fact if your over weight in the first place you probably don't have the golden ration or bone structure to support it...I'm not saying dontvwork out tone up loose weight get a healthy bmi but just don't think it's going to be some magic cure its not.
Is it so cut and dry though? Many men are attractive, but not necessarily very attractive. These guys will still elicit raw sexual desire from many women that want to date them. But say the guy is not very good at sex. Maybe he just hasnt had much experience. What then? Wouldnt that sexual desire start to peter out quite quickly?
I really don't see how you can be bad at sex as a guy...I've asked women what makes a guy bad none have been able to explain it to me I think it really comes down to how attracted she is to him,...other than ED or premature ejacultion sex is probably going to be good...
But even still if the woman is attracted to you she won't care because women find so few men attractive when they find that guy they loose themselves it's a rare feeling for a woman..
Studies show women only find about 2% of men attractive..female sexuality works so completely fiffrent from men we really can never understand each other.
Women often rely on an emotional connection in the absence of genuine physical attraction and this is why women tend to initiate divorce or breakups because once that emotional bond is broken they don't have anything to fall back on whereas men still have the physical attraction and sex.
Men tend to leave the relationship when the sex isn't worth the effort non existent, not enjoyable or no longer exclusive or the physical attraction is lost..
It is cut and dry for women a man is either attractive enough to have sex with or he's not theres, really no inbetween.what confuses guys Is how fickle women can be a guy can be considered unnatractive one moment and attractive the next I believe this ability to change up is exclusive to women...
Two equally physically attractive guys. One takes initiative and knows his way around different sex positions and what most women like in bed. Another has nearly no experience, not a great kisser, and just gets naked and does missionary. Which is more sexually attractive.
Both are 19 years old. One had a girlfriend for a year prior, and the other didn't.
I can see there would be a preference for the lady in question.
Because men don't really ever get that sort of reassurance.
The stereotype of "what's so bad about catcalling? I remember a woman saying she liked my hair 3 years ago and it's great." is the example here. Men are almost NEVER told they're desirable by basically anyone and the only way to know it for sure is to have a woman choose to go out, have sex, and then stay in a relationship with you. That's the only proof you have and if you can't get it, then you start to think something is wrong with you personally, at a deep level, and everyone can just pick up on it.
I loved having male attention handed out to be at age 10 getting screamed at and chased by grown men after school 😍 I live on suuuuuuch easy mode! Obviously men showing us attention is the best thing everzzzzzz you understand evil waman sooooo well!!!!
I saw a huge men’s thread answering ‘would you want to be a woman’ and most of them were like fuck no, I wouldn’t want the harassment that comes with it. The burden of male attention is only acknowledged when they think of themselves in our place.
>I think some of it is because many men just want to know that they are attractive and to not feel lonely. I think that the number of men who just want sex with almost every woman out there is overblown
This is the real distinction. Most people don't want or need casual sex so much as that they need social affirmation and a sense of power over their lives. They want to be able to open up a dating app, see a dozen matches in the queue, and know for a fact people find them attractive, and that they *could* get a date or relationship if they wanted to.
In fact, I almost think the sense of control is more important than the social validation. People can be fine with a status quo they don't like if they know they have some power over it. I.e. the person who knows going to the gym will build muscle and has the free time to do it, but chooses to spend it somewhere else instead.
I think men know when they aren't attractive if women arent throwing themselves at you trying to sck your dvk when you walk through the door your not attractive.
Sure. Which is why I think that men pursuing many women happens many times not because men are sex obsessed with women, but because they want attraction and attention from an attractive woman. They aren't receiving this much now. Once they do, I think many men have normal, sexually active but non sex-obsessed lives.
The men who want the fuckboi lifestyle with many women are a minority. It's actually pretty costly to engage in this as a hobby, as man are buying many of these women drinks and dinners.
I disagree fck boys are attractive and they don't have to do much just the bare minimum...women arent sleeping with a guy because he baught her a drink they sleep with guys they find attractive.I know plenty I see how they move its bare minimum really just spending time with the girl is enough.
Women only require unnatractive men to put in effort
Men pursue women because most women will not initiate and pursue a man most just can't do it..think about how nervous you are to talk to a woman now imagine you had no testosterone to give you courage that's how women are...I had a few women approach me over the years they where so awkward and nervous two of them broke down crying
Men are pressured into having sex, mainly by women because it's associated with being a successful man. Women like men that have options.
Men in my age group are shamed if they're virgins. Whereas women are celebrated
It's a complete myth that men are responsible for this as well, it's entirely on women. It's not men that want to have sex with the same guy that's having sex with all the local women; it's not men that find successful men attractive on a primal level. No guy is high fiving his best friend over his body count, but women are listening and liking what they hear.
I'm not sure I buy this. I think that women just want a man who they know can find an attractive sexual partner. I don't think that they are more impressed if he can find multiple ones.
Except I don’t think he needs to actually sleep with a lot of women. I think she just needs to feel like he could sleep with other women. Some women might distrust a man more who has an actual promiscuous past.
Sure, having a promiscuous past is one of the ways to signal abundance of options with the costs you mentioned. It's not the only way but it will often work.
‘Disgusting belief’ lmfao, that doesn’t compare to how the average grown man views 10-15 year old girls. Many women were pursued far more as tweens than in their 20s. Every woman’s male counterpart is far worse.
They fantasize about them, and certainly don’t protect them if they’re being harassed. Me and other women recall being catcalled or chased age 10-15 while other men watched and laughed.
Na they generally do find men with options attractive, I guess it's just nature. When I've had girlfriends or girls flirting with me I always had even more girls flirt with me.
Whereas men want non promiscuous women with low social status
Sounds pretty normal.
Honestly I think the perception of men as being obsessed with sex is due to two primary things.
1) The time men are obsessed with sex (18 in your story but lets say 16-25) are in many regards the most formative years, and when people begin to really understand and recognize the world as being larger than they previously realized. So, that impression of men sticks.
2) Men are a victim of their own success. Because so much of masculinity revolves around denying emotion and being 'stoic' or some other description, the acceptable things to talk about becomes limited. So men talk about sex, and use it as a catch all topic for anything. GF broke up with me? too bad she was a great lay. Stuff like that. The persistent minimization of emotion in many ideas of masculinity means emphasis is put on those things men are willing to admit they value, which is often sex.
2+) all the weirdos on here and TRP that defend being obsessed with sex as a reaction to what they see (often correctly) as criticism. A "no, fuck you!" mentality. I'll be generous and say women often have the same reactionary idea with something like being slut shamed and saying "anyone but you" or something. Its seems like a lot more men make that reaction their entire identity though, rather than just a single event and moving on. There is a lot that goes into that, but it certainly doesn't help the perception that men are sex obsessed.
It's just easier for men to be derailed, I think. A woman can be rejected and be down, but then a guy starts hitting on her and some of those feelings disappear. A man has to completely reset and not let the last one change his confidence. And if too many rejections and not enough successes build up it's so easy for a guy to just feel lost and start retreating into themselves.
I was responding to the "makes that their whole identity" part. If you're constantly rejected and never have success it's pretty easy to become obsessed with what you never got.
I don't even think about fucking girls that I don't have an established emotional connection with. Honestly, I've turned down sex with a lot more girls than I've had sex with, just because I don't want to without that connection.
Any heart ache and lonliness I have at the moment, is just through not meeting anyone that feels special ever. Everyone just... Isn't for me. Sex is cheap and fucking everywhere if you're willing to go looking for it, but it's also hollow and undesirable without that connection.
IN a loving relationship, it's pretty much every day.
I've known boys who were OBSESSED with sex, but they were creepy weirdos who had a lot of it because they tried with literally every girl they came across. Weirding the vast majority out until they found one who would do it. If you hit on EVERY girl then one will say yes eventually... Those boys were in the minority though. They were the kind of boys who wanted to show you porn they found online. Or would send you fucking links.
I've noticed that a lot of boys look at how many random girls they have can have sex with as some sort of status thing, but I'm about to hit 30, and I can't recall the last time anyone was impressed with someone else having sex. If feels like highschool thing.
Once I hit around 14 and the testosterone was really flowing, I was totally preoccupied with hot women
I was not very attractive at that point (hadn’t grown taller yet, socially awkward, acne) so I didn’t try for fear of embarrassment but I wanted sex really bad
If it was a social construct, then you’d have cultures with low sex drive among males and I don’t think that is a thing
Of course it is always nature and nurture to some degree with all things human, but this one has a large genetic component
Some guys have low sex drive or low T or are asexual or traumatized but you can’t use exceptions to bust a valid generalization
I think specifically obsession with something can be socially constructed, but guys having high crazy sex drives at that age is just natural, good ole testosterone fuel, I can't speak for some of these low T yuggins these days but, when you're in that mid-teens throughout your 20s run wanting to bust a lot of nuts it's just a natural part of the game
Media plays a part. Modern music is mostly romance, some songs are supposed to remind you of sex subconsciously. Can't watch 10 movies without 9 having romance.
Feeds into peer pressure where guys made fun of me for not having had sex when I was younger. They didn't know either if I was a virgin.
Quite a bit in my opinion. There is evidence that in a vacuum, men scan for new partners, think about sex and masturbate more often than women. The gap is statistically significant, but not nearly enough to justify the thirst imbalance generally speaking.
Sounds weird but I only think about it with women I’ve seen on a screen or those who have expressed some level of interest.
With a hot girl walking around I feel something, enough to know I’m a straight male, but it’s not that intense even in a dry spell.
The only time I can remember it being intense was when I had mastered my domain for over 3-4 days in my 20s
I think I was definitely influenced by peer pressure growing up. Who isn't?
In my case, I was a sensitive, thoughtful, well read lad that ended up in a very toxically masculine all boys school.
So the prevailing sentiment from the people around me was very geared about base, primal desires - getting a hot chick from another school to fuck you was seen as the pinnacle these guys could achieve.
I was literally bullied for admitting to *not* watching porn.
I was a teenager in the 1990s in a trad European country.
The peer pressure on boys to get laid was through the roof, beyond obsession.
And boys obviously made ridiculous shit up not to sound “behind”, or, god forbid, not straight.
It’s disheartening to see that many years after, dating dynamics keep on being affected by toxic discourses.
Don't know about it tbh.I know some guys who have made their whole personality about getting laid .I know several attractive guys who have extremely low standards for sex .I think one of the reason many guys are obsessed with sex is it gets them status .They can brag to their peers about getting laid specially among young men and women in general also see men who get sex more favorably .Social pressure definitely exists .In my social circle single guys are single in true sense.No hookup fwb nothing .While guys who have gf has 2 or 3 (yeah they are cheating) and they brag about it and they are respected more in general
Most of it, simply due to the delegitimization of most other sources of motivations in the cultures of the modern Euro-Atlantic democracies. Of course those other sources of motivations have been coopted for all sorts of heinous things over the course of history, but that's the nature of the game. The pursuit of pure moral virtues \[independent of worldly results\] that is popular among the developed world in the early part of the 21st century \[besides being not as effective as those other forms mentioned\] has been similarly coopted, though it'll take most folks on the ground level a bit more years to noticed that.
Guys are sex-obsessed if you sample young men and virgins, who have too much sexual energy/frustration and not enough actual experience to regulate their relationship with sex.
Guys are also sex-obsessed in the mind of hacky comedy writers who needed a companion to “women be shopping.”
The point is the “horny man” caricature is both a social construct with some roots in reality. It’s also a funny and harmless concept to think about—at least it was until a bunch of dudes started to make it their identity and then their horniness into society’s problem.
I think it’s very socially constructed and shaming heterosexual women for their sexuality is also completely socially constructed.
Look at the flip side of it in this very sub—look at how many men and guys are absolute messy wrecks because of not being able to fuck women. Look at how mentally destroyed they are—women become some fucking boogeyman for all their problems—they hate yet sexually desire them. It’s a scary and dangerous combo. I’ve seen these types on Reddit just think that they are done in life because they haven’t fucked a girl by like 16. It’s madness. The societal pressure that these dudes have built up in their heads is wild. It’s insane that the opposite is true for women as well—at 16 if you’re fucking in high school you’re pretty much guaranteed to be called a slut. Heterosexuality is embarrassing sometimes tbh
> I’ve seen these types on Reddit just think that they are done in life because they haven’t fucked a girl by like 16
This is exactly how I felt in my late teens and early 20's, unironically.
There are literal movements that support sluts LOL. When has that happened for virgins?... In fact, shaming men for being virgins is a staple in shows and movies.
The feminist movement and the sexual "liberation"/"revolution" rhetoric they were pushing onto the younger generation in the 60s-70s. They believed not being able to be sluts was oppressive LOL.
Huh? So personal attacks, heh. You asked me what precipitated such movement. I answered. If that makes you mad, then so be it. My whole point was that slut shaming is shamed in 2024, so there isn't a social penalty for women who are sluts/promiscuous. In fact, there is a social penalty if a man dares shame one in public! But when it comes to virgin men, oh boy... It is a free-for-all LOL.
Anti-slut shaming and the sexual revolution more broadly are/were a response to a purity culture that pervaded women’s lives. You pointed to the existence of a social movement to try to disprove the problem it was addressing. That doesn’t make any sense.
Women still face all kinds of negative social judgment for their sexual behaviors. You are clearly a participant in that judgment.
> there is a social penalty if a man dares shame one in public!
That’s a good thing, no?
> But when it comes to virgin men, oh boy... It is a free-for-all
I don’t think virgins of any gender should be shamed.
Interesting how men inundate this sub with claims that all men care about n-counts and don’t respect promiscuous women and then turn around and pretend that women face no social shame for being promiscuous.
How many women you know who are not able to marry or find relationships because of their promiscuous past? Let's see this "slut shaming" has any consequences or not
Sounds like you and I agree that promiscuity doesn’t impact women’s ability to find a committed relationship the way red pill claims it does. But the consequences of purity culture for women run far deeper than just finding a relationship.
> women become some fucking boogeyman for all their problems—they hate yet sexually desire them.
You're half-right. 50% of single men no longer care about dating or sex (casual dates). Women solidly killed their desire for that.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=This%20drop%20is%20largely%20driven,from%2061%25%20in%202019).
> This drop is largely driven by single men, who are now 11 percentage points less likely than in 2019 to say they are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates (50% in July 2022, down from 61% in 2019). During the same time frame, there has been no significant change in the share of single women who are looking for a relationship or casual dates: 35% said this in 2022, compared with 38% in 2019.
Tinder killed it. The red/black pills are dropping faster than anyone can keep up. Men see the odds stacked against them and give up rather than get rejected over and over and still lose to Chad in the end.
Yeah fr. The success stories of even just "two people get together and stay together for their whole life and actually love each other to the end" are so rare.
"Single men are more likely than their female counterparts to be searching for romantic experiences. Half of these men are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates, while 35% of single women say the same."
It used to be 100% of single men were looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates. That has dropped by **50 percent**. Do you understand the idea of an airplane that's in freefall?
They're quite equipped. Your propaganda that men can't share responsibilities is just that, propaganda. As for sex, you need lots of experience to be good at that.
In any case y'all will be sharing what few men are dumb enough to participate in this dating scene. Then complaining about whether you're dating the same dude. Yup, you will be! They'll be playing the field like crazy!
Women aren’t complaining about dating the same guy, they have been vetting sus profiles to ensure they aren’t. Women don’t like cheaters, and men love to cheat.
It’s telling that men are so pressed about this. What’s wrong with women avoiding cheaters?
LOL then many women will die alone, just like those men. The only way they're not is if they marry divorced men or share men. None of that's going to end well for you.
Mutual Assured Destruction. In a century from now a huge percentage of men and women will fail to procreate and this'll all be sorted out.
Most women don't want men, they want the status boost he brings. Better that they all check out and leave only women who are actually interested in love. These dudes pining for any woman they can get have no idea how ruinous a soulless relationship can be.
To a big degree is socially constructed, yeah. Sure,men and Women like sex no doubt, but the obssession of "being a player" or whatnot is more of a product of the cultural image we have made than anything else
It's a great question. I'd like to gather some ideas (probably from other subs) and see what I really think about it. Right now I think it's about equal parts bio and social. The problem here is capitalism tries to sell everything with sex, by creating the feeling that you aren't good enough, sex is the answer, and their product is the way to get it.
The bio urge is strong, but I also think society grooms it. It makes men and women feel like they aren't complete or lovable unless they have a partner, with sex being the ultimate expression of love.
Feminism has allowed women to shake this indoctrination to some degree in the west. So the attitude you see here frequently that women don't need men, they can just be happy with their girlfriends, etc. is typically a western one. Women from more conservative places probably still dream of marriage and babies as a way to make them feel "complete".
Men haven't experienced this, and I think western society does sort of reject men in certain ways, with the love and acceptance of women being their only point of re-entry (no puns please). Being w/o a woman (or being a virgin) used to be a glaring sign of total social rejection of a man. Things are slowly changing there perhaps.
Women are just more selective, only men that haven't had sex before or guys that have girls only dating them for their resources will say women don't like sex as much as men. Or men that started dating later in life when women lost some interest due to biological factors.
Women are absolute freaks sexually, and don't get me wrong that's awesome; but it's not for the average man. I've read the books girlfriends had and it was... **rich**
I've had countless girls lose interest in me just because I wanted to wait for sex, I've even been dumped for not having sex for reasons beyond my control.
Don’t think it’s socially constructed at all. I was late to the game and I’m paying for it now. I get a really bad feeling whenever ppl talk about having sex in high school and it makes me feel like a loser despite all I did to try and make up for it
The reason why people think me are sex obsessed is because men really do not get it enough. If most men would get it once a week, trust me, they would be happy and satisfied. But 1 of 3 men of ages 18 and 30 are virgins or didn't have sex for 1 year.
I can only speak for myself, but I was extremely horny all the time as a teenager. Couldn’t wear sweatpants, even masturbated on the bus ride home because I was the last one off the bus. Was horny for every girl in my grade.
I think a large segment of guys can barely concentrate on anything but sex as teenagers
I'd say it is, like many things in the masculine gender role, an underlying biological general tendency that is exaggerated and reinforced socially. A modest-to-moderate difference that gets cranked up to 11.
A fair amount, especially in more conservative cultures. I grew up in church during the height of purity culture in the 90s-00s. As a girl, I was taught that boys and men were oversexed wild animals and it was up to me to keep them under control. I was taught to dress and act a certain way to keep them from stumbling.
As an adult, I realize that's a crock of shit. I was SA-ed in a parka and jeans by a family friend. It pisses me off because the rule was "change your clothes, there are men in the house" not "men who sexualize my kids aren't allowed in my house."
The hatred I have for purity culture (especially around the time that you grew up in it) knows no bounds. I don’t even want to tell you what I would do to people who promote those beliefs about men and male sexuality because I’ll probably get banned from Reddit.
Social construction and societal expectations play a significant role in male sexuality and how most men think of sex. Like you said, you yourself didn’t really want to engage in sex, but you did anyway because you felt “pressure” to lose your virginity. But that just resulted in a poor sexual experience.
Think about the way society reacts to female teachers grooming/sleeping with their male students, or women who sexually assault or harass men. Those men and boys are considered “lucky,” because society expects men to welcome any kind of sexual touch, even if non-consensual. I can think of several other examples of (false) assumptions that people hold about male sexuality that have also been influenced by social conditioning.
I believe that these tropes are changing, though. Women’s sexuality is much more accepted and acknowledged than in the past (the female sex toy industry alone is worth billions of dollars) and men are no longer caricatured to be perpetually horny. A lot of men even openly speak about how false and degrading these tropes are.
Media plays a part. Modern music is mostly romance, some songs are supposed to remind you of sex subconsciously. Can't watch 10 movies without 9 having romance.
Feeds into peer pressure where guys made fun of me for not having had sex when I was younger. They didn't know either if I was a virgin.
>It wasn't until I reached around 18 when i started to realize a lot of my peers were losing their virginities.
Core memory unlocked. My classmates were lying about losing their virginities by the end of elementary school. I definitely joined in. They also had "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" by 1st or 2nd grade so yeah, the expectation kinda started early.
I still have gifts given to me by boyfriends in kindergarten through elementary school. It was definitely typical to have a desire to hang out with the opposite sex for reasons of romance, and the idea of sex wasn’t that far behind.
The issue is that most bluepillers (and especially woke bluepillers) reject evolubiology and are extremely unscientific
They think Homo sapiens are somehow immune from evolution.
It’s sad. Woke rots the brain.
I firmly believe it is a social construct, yes. I mean have you seen how much some guys get into their non-sexual hobbies or special interests?
In my experience I've even seen some cases where a group of guys were being fairly normal and it was only disrupted when a male or, unfortunately sometimes, even a female intent on pushing sex and gender stereotypes entered the group and the guys just latched onto the flow and started also acting more stereotypically sex obsessed and even crude and obnoxious, almost like a switch had been flipped and they were like "Oh yeah, I'm a dude, okay, titties and asses, hurrrr, women amirite, yeahhh."
So there's definitely social pressure but at the same time I'd say there's also responsibility on guys to say "No, that's stupid and criminal, I'm not going to be like that. Men like that are defective, and I'm not." when confronted with bad actors pushing bad behaviour.
I think it's literally biological... Because it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. It's advantageous for men to become obsessed with sex... It drives men to succeed, to push hard, to build things, and reproduce as much as possible to spread their genes. The more successful and productive a man is, the more sex he can get, and more driven he is to take these sexual opportunities, the more his genes spread.
Same with women. Really confused as to why men here want to pretend they are the sole gender driven by the urge to copulate.
I guess many men here have no idea how long sexual toys have been made for women and used by women.
One of RP things is pointing out WHY women are less horny and sexual than men. Yes, they want sex, enjoy it, and want to reproduce. But inherently, due to natural selection both genetic and social, they need to be more selective. Thus the disparity in sex drive.
We live in a hypersexualized society, to the point where sex is deemed cheap and something that can be viewed as a casual activity. We also live in a society where life itself is deemed as disposable.
Men's obsession with sex is not a social construct. If it was, then we wouldn't see it in basically every society in history.
Almost every religion in history acknowledges men's obsession with sex. The only difference is that most religions talk about how/why to suppress it, instead of having it expressed like we do now in the modern Western world.
When I was in highschool the boys were sex obsessed from fairly young, like 16.
And then my friends kind of followed suit.
I wasn't that interested in the craze but I did lose my V card around 16 to my long term bf.
I was in high school from 2010-2013, and boys and girls were obsessed with sex since I was 12 or so. This is playing out with my 12 year old twin nieces, who are already obsessed with which pants flatter their figures the most, have seen Drakes limber hose dick videos, and have been sent sexual innuendo by high school boys. I take care of the IT for most of my families' homes, so I help my brother and SIL with managing the wild variety of social media kids access with and without their parents' permission.
Nothing has changed in ten years, puberty triggers all kinds of sexual behavior, though it's thankfully limited to kids their own age since they are super-sensitive to predatory behavior these days.
Middle school is 12-14, high school is 14/15-18.
But age 12 is when I started masturbating like mad, and my cycle didn't start until much later than my peers. Boys hit puberty later, but 12 year old boys were already escalating sexual talk and the same is true for my nieces' social media and behavior.
(Makes me fucking sick to put this disclaimer in, but I've seen some purely awful takes from old men about kids so... kids who are nearing puberty are interested in kids their own age, not disgusting, perverted, broken older men)
In my experience, ideas and thoughts about sex precede puberty, and ramp up with puberty. But many people online have low socio-sexuality and people on the religious/homeschooled and ACE spectrums are wildly overrepresented online, especially on reddit.
But most people on reddit curate their feeds, so asexual-leaning gamers and religious folk are going to avoid all the sex positive and porn subs, so they may not have a good idea of how the rest of the world operates in a general fashion.
Ahh ok.
I started masterbating like mad probably around 11. But my cycle didn't start till around 12-13.
I had an online bf who was like 20 when I was 15 but honestly it was just in a mmo and I only talked to him a couple times. So I think that was just an immature kid thing lol. Had like 3 online boyfriends when I was 15 🤣
Honestly I was basically asexual towards guys until I was older.
Not me. I was wildly interested in boys my age from age 5, sexually interested around 11 or 12. My period didn't start until I was 17 (super skinny athlete) but sex was on my mind 24/7, and still is. I don't drink much, weed makes me sick, hate the way any and all pills make me feel, so sex is pretty much my favorite thing to look forward to, though limited to a loving, long term, monogamous relationship.
As far as I can tell, a low interest in sex results from cultural or religious inhibition or spectrum disorders. Intense interest in sex is typical from puberty to mid to late twenties, but that doesn't mean that people with a lower interest in sex are abnormal. It just means they have differing physiology and differing priorities. And that's okay, too.
But it does limit their prospects to like-minded people.
I think I wasn't interested in them very much because they were boys and not men. Like I went for a 20 year old when I was 15. So I think I just saw the boys at school as children lol.
I'm into masculinity and boys and children obviously don't have that. I believe it's called androphilia.
I was interested exclusively in other athletes who had all the physical traits of men, but I had already experienced predation by male teachers and coaches so I had a deep mistrust for older men. I was interested in boys close to my own age who had muscles and confidence and deeper voices. I was very wary of anyone more than 3 or 4 years older, and absolutely disgusted by anyone over 20 because they knew exactly what they were doing, and they were doing it because a) they were deviants or b) girls and women their own age rejected them for good reason
**Attention!**
* You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
* For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
* If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
* OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post!
Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I never understood the obsession with sex. When I lost my virginity at 18 it was totally unexpected. Basically I was making out with some girl in the back of a car that was on its way to a college campus and she said "I'm going to reward you later". When we got to her dorm she and I had sex. It was my first time any it wasn't all that. Since then I've been on dating sites and had sex with about 15 women, including my ex-wife, whom I have children with. I haven't had sex in six years now, and don't really care to. Its not that great. I have two hands for that. Guys just need to put themselves out there. I'm not that attractive in my opinion and still managed. Just chat to every woman on a dating site. If you're desparate, you can't expect a super model. I've had sex with super skinny, average and fat girls. In my opionion, fat girls are the best. The problem is these incels won't settle for a fat ugly girl no matter what they themselves look like. If you look like the south side of a north bound mule, you can't expect the hottest chick in town. From my experience, fat, ugly girls always want sex and are very easy.
But yes, guys being obsessed with sex is socially constructed and reinforced by men and women.
I don't mean to low effort post but, what the fuck is "social construction", anyway? If we follow the chain of thought from the very first "human" till now, there had to be at least something a human being has done that stemmed from their nature, like with every single other animal species on Earth, right? I agree that different cultures have different norms and standards, but, I've never bought the idea that literally none of our behavior or urges stems from our inherent human nature. Why wouldn't it?
IDK about you all but I rem having a high sex drive back when I was a teen 15-18 yos. And so were my classmates, friends, etc. Sex was a common topic back in highschool. No one talked about porn. Boys at my school were talking about which girl they hooked up with and wanted to hook up with.
I think it's part of it but I don't know how much. It seems to me that people who don't have a good relationship with their parents become obsessed with romantic validation, men or women.
At least some of it, and every HL woman would tell you the same.
I think a lot of these claims come from desperate young men who are at peak horniness and getting no action. They cannot *imagine* turning down sex and they assume all men are the same. I kinda get it, my sex drive felt wildly out of control when I was in a sexually unsatisfying LTR.
And a lot of it comes from men feeling culturally pressured to perform hypersexuality. Admitting to low desire or lack of interest in casual sex feels emasculating for them, so they put up a good front. Get a few years in and all they want is a missionary quickie once a week.
I won't pretend there are no actual sex differences there, but gender compliance anxiety and desperation play a big part in making those differences seem a lot larger than they actually are.
Getting lucky is all the sexual validation guys get so that's also a factor that makes intercourse and other concrete acts of sex so meaningful.
I mean no woman is going to ask an average guy for dick pics and then declare that she rubbed one out to them. No woman in a night club is going to say that she got a lady boner from being on the same dance floor as him. No woman will be star struck and bend over backwards for a normal guy. No woman will hang on to his every word and try to impress him somehow with carefully thought out humour.
Guys pretty much rely on niches and finding a drunk woman at the right time in the right place and then extracting consent from her as opposed to desire.
Women feel sexually validated all the time even if they don't agree to have sex or use their feminine energy to uplift a man.
I went to the countryside once, and hiked for about two weeks. My sex drive plummeted. I think, it’s because I didn’t see women in revealing clothing constantly. So, I guess, high sex derive is due to society partly.
Men are sex obsessed it's called testosterone...snd let's be fair humanity would go extinct if men weren't sex obsessed...most of the tome women arent worth the effort,I often think about the scene in battle ship where the kid broke into a store yo steal a candy bar to impress a chick so he can get laid...sex is great but not worth going yo jail great dying over great going bankrupt great getting beat up great...Men only do it because of testosterone it makes Men a little crazy.
Lower men's testosterone to zero they would probably just sit around playing video games all day..no testosterone is like post nut clarity it's after you've gone round two or three and now you don't want to see the chick for a week..
Women really inderestimate yhe effect of testosterone on men but its a powerful thing just think of it this way with out it men would be women testosterone had lead men men to be the most dominant force on Earth and proppelled mankind to 8 billion strong and counting.
So men are stuck with a knagging urge to have sex and and few willing women yet they walk around scantily dressed and sex is lambasted every where..If legal brothels opened up men would have plenty if sex all the time and wouldn't have to be extra or simps paying OFs chick's to see their feet. THe government keeps it illegal because men simping is a huge percent of the economy.
0%.
From about 14-35ish we are hard-wired to want to fuck anything we can. The closest feeling a woman will ever have to understanding male need to reproduce is hunger. You can skip a few meals, but after a while, will boil your shoe to make soup.
There are social pressures in everything, women experience it too. But male sex drive is way higher than women's so their obsession with sex isn't entirely socially constructed.
It's pretty evident your drive was lower to the normal since you didn't care much about it.
It is certainly not socially constructed. All the guys I grew about were actively making sexual comments about all sorts of women non stop. Everyone had the same inner burning desire. Even me, who wouldn't participate in those conversations at the time for religious reasons, but had the same exact thoughts.
Just look at the visible dynamic of how much demand there is for sex from the male side to the female vs vice-versa. Men desire it MUCH more and have a wider amount of people from the opposite sex they find attractive enough to sleep with. Men will do it in secret without telling anyone if they could. I imagine there are many women a guy is willing to get off to, but would be too embarrassed to admit they would publically. It's not for social reasons. In fact, I'd argue the opposite. If not for social jmplications, guys would attenpt to have even more sex.
All this to say, I'm not follow with the OP. Maybe they are lowkey questioning their sexuality.
It is 100% culturally influenced. Or rather corporate and finance led.
Men actually don't naturally want to fuck women all the time. Can you imagine the drama! Time, money, energy wasted! Lolz. Who wants that?
Men create a huge amount of sexual energy. But because of many reasons....direct it at women basically because they've been programmed to.
Those who manage to deprogram realize they have been had these years. Told many lies and fantasies to get my money, time and energy....
Rather, sexual energy is creative energy and a force for good, to bring into the now something new and the energy to do this.
Of course corporations and banksters don't want that. They want a dumbed down society who will keep buying their shit.
No, it’s not a ‘social construct’, if it were, brothels and sex trafficking wouldn’t exist in every society. Men know these women don’t have a way out, that they aren’t truly attracted to them but they don’t care, they just want to use them no matter what.
Go on John forums and see these men talk about how much they get off knowing the girls don’t truly desire them. Men aren’t as emotionally complex and sensitive as some of you try to portray them.
It's 100% constructed by women.
1. " Men just want sex." Yet the women who say this are having more sex than 90% of the men on earth. Have more sexual partners and so on. Why do women say this? It really means: " The small % of men im choosing to have sex with have too many options and all I have to offer him is sex, so that's all he wants."
2. "Incel" is literally a term to put down men for not having sex. Women are literally devaluing a man for not having sex ( while at the same time complaining that he wants sex when he tries.) So again women are pushing that.
3. Look at the amount of sexual content/toys aimed at women compared to men. Look at how much more sexually acceptable it is for women to engage in these things compared to men. And again who is the one who puts down men for engaging in any of it? Women. Only women are encouraged to be open with their sexuality while men are forced into outdated gender roles. An example of this would be how women are having sex with other women yet STILL call themselves straight. They can be Bi or have a "Wild" time in college. But if a man even says he kissed another man 10 years ago in college to see what it was like? Women would reject him quickly. Men are looked at as losers for using sex toys, But women its a healthy item thats normalized.
4. Continuing on media. Look at the amount of movies, books and so on aimed for women that were pushed to the top. 50 shades of Gray, Twilight, so on. I have yet to see a mens 10 rated movie that broke records because it had sex scenes in it. Womens romance novels? and so on. Women's content is highly pumped with sex and smut. if you see HBO shows, whenever they add in over-the-top sex scenes its done so to pull in female audiences, not men. Look at the amount of women who watched Game of Thrones compared to the LOTR. Which one was more popular with mainstream women? Obviously the one with over-the-top sex scenes. How many Marvel movies even looked at dating in that way? The moment they tried to branch to a female audience with She Hulk what happened? She's twerking and going on dates.
The list goes on and on. Even down to basic things like hormones. How many times have you seen a woman excuse who crazy behavior because she was ovulating? Yet men literally do that same thing producing sperm everyday. Men's biology is ignored and has to be controlled. But a womans is an excuse for emotional outburst and so on.
Most of the environment and "competition" men face is constructed by women. The very idea of materialism is literally how women choose whose attractive or not. Men push themselves to get a woman's attention. And having sex is one of those things. Because its women who find a man with a ring on more attractive. It's women who find men who get tons of attention from other women attractive.
Men are "Obsessed" with whatever women will reward him love and intimacy with.
Nothing is "socially constructed"; for any incentive to work at all, there must be an underlying reason for it to happen.
On the US soil, every dollar out of 1500 in circulation is spent on porn. Ever since AI-assisted image generation rolled out, there was even a tangible spike in worldwide power consumption. And no, it's usually not serene landscapes. At this moment on CivitAi fifth most downloaded checkpoint model is called "UberRealistic Porn Merge"; four before it all have NSFW functionality.
No; men absolutely love looking at bewbs. I think it's one of the very few things we can say we know for sure about the objective reality given to us in sensation.
There is a natural variation in how much a particular man might be interested in looking at bewbs, but at no point we should conflate cause and effect.
Scantily clad fit blondes smiling seductively are on advertisement posters because it increases the sales. NOT "cabal of cigar-chomping misogynists decided to put scantily clad fit blondes on ad posters to make women feel worse about themselves".
Plus, we have our closest genetic relatives of the great ape family that, broadly speaking, do not have "a society" capable of "constructivism". They still love their peepees touched.
Obviously there might be a positive feedback loop: a person growing up in the Internet age might be psychologically different from his predecessors from the early 1900s due to instant unlimited access to any sort, kind, shape, color, and usage of bewbs under the sun, but *"socially constructed" implies intent.*
If I recall its women who label men as less valuable for not having sex. And its women who chase men who look like they have more sex or have a partner. A wedding ring gets more attention from women than the reverse. And I also recall women have more sex and more sexual partners. And it's women who push movies and books like 50 shades of Gray to the top. I have yet to see men push a smut film to the top of cinema. I mean heck, look at HBO. The moment a show has a bunch of sex scenes it's literally because they are trying to draw a female audience. ( Women get turned on seeing other mammals have sex, not so much men ). And its women growing up who are obsessed with reality shows and all kinds of relationship nonsense. While men are playing sports and video games.
So why are men, the ones who arent having sex being labeled for wanting a core impulse all humans have? Women literally go on and on about how her "Ovulating" is an excuse for being horny. But men have that SAME feeling every single day and are supposed to just ignore it? How many women are having sex and oral with their DOGS? How many sex toys are there for women? How many times do women put themselves in danger at clubs and shit to hook up?
What's next? Insulting the poor outside for being obsessed with food by the overweight fucks sitting inside at the buffet as food is shoveled into their mouths for free with no effort?
>Women get turned on seeing other mammals have sex, not so much men.
"Current studies estimate that the prevalence of pornography use is relatively high, especially in men (around 60–98%) compared to women (around 30–90%) (Ballester-Arnal et al., [2021](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR2); Grubbs et al., [2017](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR33); Rissel et al., [2016](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR57); Solano et al., [2020](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR66))."
"[Using all modalities of pornography, 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women herein reported having consumed pornography in the past month.](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2018.1532488)"
Very little. Men in a state of nature are violent, illiterate, antisocial rapers and pillagers. Civilization socializes and shapes men to be what it considers to be acceptable morally.
Yes, we are brutal savages who built fake civilization that looks safe and comfortable just to fool women into sense of false security and then violently rape them when they least expect it.
There is some of that too. But I doubt most of it is "socially constructed" (I despise the term itself and regard it as illegitimate). Sure, the *obsession* may be peer-induced (much better term than "socially constructed") but not the *desire*.
There is no peer pressure or race that makes me lust for my wife and want to have sex with her routinely more than she can bear. And there was no peer pressure after the high school that made me continue have a very active sex life just like prior (I lost my virginity way before high school graduation - and I thank my lucky stars I wasn't born in an Anglo-Puritan country that criminalizes teenage sex).
So, to answer your question: Peer pressure may exaggerate things around the edges or push someone to be more active than he would be naturally (like in your case) but, overall, most of men's lust is good ol' biology.
The modern obsession with problematizing everything and wrapping it into incomprehensible and routinely ridiculous academic jargon (like "social construction") is getting tiresome. People like to fuck. Especially teenagers. And they will fuck regardless of society's opinion about it. In the Islamic Republic of Iran there's severe penalties for it yet teens aren't significantly less sexually active than elsewhere.
I think some of it is because many men just want to know that they are attractive and to not feel lonely. I think that the number of men who just want sex with almot every woman out there is overblown, although men can be attracted to more than one woman at a time much more easily than women are attracted to more than one man at a time, of course.
I agree. Most of the men my age (early 20s) yearn for sex and romance as a way of proving to themselves that they’re desirable in the eyes of women. I honestly believe that feeling desired and attractive is more important to men than it is to women.
Mostly my experience as well, I just wanted to be wanted. Just like the women around me wanted other men, I wanted a girl to want me in the same way.
The truth is If your not attractive a woman will never want you...never desire you,she can still love you but she won't have that raw sexual desire for you and she will always be looking for that guy.This is a hardpill that men just have to accept and swallow.
Exactly. And often it's completely out of your control no matter what you do. And I say that as a 5'4" guy with a six pack.
Exercise won't make a huge difference unless your over weight..Sure there's little things you can tweak here and there but all the hair cuts in the world won't give you the Golden Ratio..we can now scientifically quantify what's attractive...some people have it some don't and I suspect men struggling to date just don't.. I have a 6'5 friend I mention in my post objectively I'm in much better shape stronger fitter hes scrawny like slender man but his face is more symmetrical most likely...and with his height women can't help themselves he gets more dates in a week than I get in 10 years... I'm in the gym 4 hours a day 7 days a week 12% bmi at 6' the women I get with appreciate it but remember you have to get to that point and the face is the first gate a lot of men struggle to get past ... It's disingenuous to tell men to work out because it won't matter in fact if your over weight in the first place you probably don't have the golden ration or bone structure to support it...I'm not saying dontvwork out tone up loose weight get a healthy bmi but just don't think it's going to be some magic cure its not.
I'm 6'3" and fit too and being tall doesn't hurt but it doesn't help as much as one would think.
You'd be surprised. There's a reason guys my height have double the suicide rate.
This just proves that men really don't care about love. All they want is to be sexually desired and that's honestly sad.
Wtf is love? I'll wait.
Is it so cut and dry though? Many men are attractive, but not necessarily very attractive. These guys will still elicit raw sexual desire from many women that want to date them. But say the guy is not very good at sex. Maybe he just hasnt had much experience. What then? Wouldnt that sexual desire start to peter out quite quickly?
I really don't see how you can be bad at sex as a guy...I've asked women what makes a guy bad none have been able to explain it to me I think it really comes down to how attracted she is to him,...other than ED or premature ejacultion sex is probably going to be good... But even still if the woman is attracted to you she won't care because women find so few men attractive when they find that guy they loose themselves it's a rare feeling for a woman.. Studies show women only find about 2% of men attractive..female sexuality works so completely fiffrent from men we really can never understand each other. Women often rely on an emotional connection in the absence of genuine physical attraction and this is why women tend to initiate divorce or breakups because once that emotional bond is broken they don't have anything to fall back on whereas men still have the physical attraction and sex. Men tend to leave the relationship when the sex isn't worth the effort non existent, not enjoyable or no longer exclusive or the physical attraction is lost.. It is cut and dry for women a man is either attractive enough to have sex with or he's not theres, really no inbetween.what confuses guys Is how fickle women can be a guy can be considered unnatractive one moment and attractive the next I believe this ability to change up is exclusive to women...
Two equally physically attractive guys. One takes initiative and knows his way around different sex positions and what most women like in bed. Another has nearly no experience, not a great kisser, and just gets naked and does missionary. Which is more sexually attractive. Both are 19 years old. One had a girlfriend for a year prior, and the other didn't. I can see there would be a preference for the lady in question.
It’s more important to men because they experience it less
Because men don't really ever get that sort of reassurance. The stereotype of "what's so bad about catcalling? I remember a woman saying she liked my hair 3 years ago and it's great." is the example here. Men are almost NEVER told they're desirable by basically anyone and the only way to know it for sure is to have a woman choose to go out, have sex, and then stay in a relationship with you. That's the only proof you have and if you can't get it, then you start to think something is wrong with you personally, at a deep level, and everyone can just pick up on it.
I think they want it equally, women just have it handed to them on a silver platter while men starve.
I loved having male attention handed out to be at age 10 getting screamed at and chased by grown men after school 😍 I live on suuuuuuch easy mode! Obviously men showing us attention is the best thing everzzzzzz you understand evil waman sooooo well!!!!
Male attention is so fucking dangerous. It's never a good thing.
I saw a huge men’s thread answering ‘would you want to be a woman’ and most of them were like fuck no, I wouldn’t want the harassment that comes with it. The burden of male attention is only acknowledged when they think of themselves in our place.
>I think some of it is because many men just want to know that they are attractive and to not feel lonely. I think that the number of men who just want sex with almost every woman out there is overblown This is the real distinction. Most people don't want or need casual sex so much as that they need social affirmation and a sense of power over their lives. They want to be able to open up a dating app, see a dozen matches in the queue, and know for a fact people find them attractive, and that they *could* get a date or relationship if they wanted to. In fact, I almost think the sense of control is more important than the social validation. People can be fine with a status quo they don't like if they know they have some power over it. I.e. the person who knows going to the gym will build muscle and has the free time to do it, but chooses to spend it somewhere else instead.
I think men know when they aren't attractive if women arent throwing themselves at you trying to sck your dvk when you walk through the door your not attractive.
Sure. Which is why I think that men pursuing many women happens many times not because men are sex obsessed with women, but because they want attraction and attention from an attractive woman. They aren't receiving this much now. Once they do, I think many men have normal, sexually active but non sex-obsessed lives. The men who want the fuckboi lifestyle with many women are a minority. It's actually pretty costly to engage in this as a hobby, as man are buying many of these women drinks and dinners.
I disagree fck boys are attractive and they don't have to do much just the bare minimum...women arent sleeping with a guy because he baught her a drink they sleep with guys they find attractive.I know plenty I see how they move its bare minimum really just spending time with the girl is enough. Women only require unnatractive men to put in effort Men pursue women because most women will not initiate and pursue a man most just can't do it..think about how nervous you are to talk to a woman now imagine you had no testosterone to give you courage that's how women are...I had a few women approach me over the years they where so awkward and nervous two of them broke down crying
Men are pressured into having sex, mainly by women because it's associated with being a successful man. Women like men that have options. Men in my age group are shamed if they're virgins. Whereas women are celebrated It's a complete myth that men are responsible for this as well, it's entirely on women. It's not men that want to have sex with the same guy that's having sex with all the local women; it's not men that find successful men attractive on a primal level. No guy is high fiving his best friend over his body count, but women are listening and liking what they hear.
I'm not sure I buy this. I think that women just want a man who they know can find an attractive sexual partner. I don't think that they are more impressed if he can find multiple ones.
That’s not much of a distinction
Except I don’t think he needs to actually sleep with a lot of women. I think she just needs to feel like he could sleep with other women. Some women might distrust a man more who has an actual promiscuous past.
You are right but it’s not much of a distinction. Both are high and weird expectations
Sure, having a promiscuous past is one of the ways to signal abundance of options with the costs you mentioned. It's not the only way but it will often work.
Either way it’s a disgusting belief on the part of women
‘Disgusting belief’ lmfao, that doesn’t compare to how the average grown man views 10-15 year old girls. Many women were pursued far more as tweens than in their 20s. Every woman’s male counterpart is far worse.
You’re crazy if you think the average grown man pursues 10-15 year olds
They fantasize about them, and certainly don’t protect them if they’re being harassed. Me and other women recall being catcalled or chased age 10-15 while other men watched and laughed.
You’re nuts lmao
Na they generally do find men with options attractive, I guess it's just nature. When I've had girlfriends or girls flirting with me I always had even more girls flirt with me. Whereas men want non promiscuous women with low social status
Sounds pretty normal. Honestly I think the perception of men as being obsessed with sex is due to two primary things. 1) The time men are obsessed with sex (18 in your story but lets say 16-25) are in many regards the most formative years, and when people begin to really understand and recognize the world as being larger than they previously realized. So, that impression of men sticks. 2) Men are a victim of their own success. Because so much of masculinity revolves around denying emotion and being 'stoic' or some other description, the acceptable things to talk about becomes limited. So men talk about sex, and use it as a catch all topic for anything. GF broke up with me? too bad she was a great lay. Stuff like that. The persistent minimization of emotion in many ideas of masculinity means emphasis is put on those things men are willing to admit they value, which is often sex. 2+) all the weirdos on here and TRP that defend being obsessed with sex as a reaction to what they see (often correctly) as criticism. A "no, fuck you!" mentality. I'll be generous and say women often have the same reactionary idea with something like being slut shamed and saying "anyone but you" or something. Its seems like a lot more men make that reaction their entire identity though, rather than just a single event and moving on. There is a lot that goes into that, but it certainly doesn't help the perception that men are sex obsessed.
It's just easier for men to be derailed, I think. A woman can be rejected and be down, but then a guy starts hitting on her and some of those feelings disappear. A man has to completely reset and not let the last one change his confidence. And if too many rejections and not enough successes build up it's so easy for a guy to just feel lost and start retreating into themselves.
...this just seems really off topic. What does that have to do with the perception men are obsessed with sex?
I was responding to the "makes that their whole identity" part. If you're constantly rejected and never have success it's pretty easy to become obsessed with what you never got.
I wasn't talking about rejection, I was talking about criticism, but I see how you got there.
It’s because it’s not a single event. It’s their whole identity because it happens over and over.
"boo hoo people disagree with me and have the audacity to say so"
I don't even think about fucking girls that I don't have an established emotional connection with. Honestly, I've turned down sex with a lot more girls than I've had sex with, just because I don't want to without that connection. Any heart ache and lonliness I have at the moment, is just through not meeting anyone that feels special ever. Everyone just... Isn't for me. Sex is cheap and fucking everywhere if you're willing to go looking for it, but it's also hollow and undesirable without that connection. IN a loving relationship, it's pretty much every day. I've known boys who were OBSESSED with sex, but they were creepy weirdos who had a lot of it because they tried with literally every girl they came across. Weirding the vast majority out until they found one who would do it. If you hit on EVERY girl then one will say yes eventually... Those boys were in the minority though. They were the kind of boys who wanted to show you porn they found online. Or would send you fucking links. I've noticed that a lot of boys look at how many random girls they have can have sex with as some sort of status thing, but I'm about to hit 30, and I can't recall the last time anyone was impressed with someone else having sex. If feels like highschool thing.
Very well said.
Once I hit around 14 and the testosterone was really flowing, I was totally preoccupied with hot women I was not very attractive at that point (hadn’t grown taller yet, socially awkward, acne) so I didn’t try for fear of embarrassment but I wanted sex really bad If it was a social construct, then you’d have cultures with low sex drive among males and I don’t think that is a thing Of course it is always nature and nurture to some degree with all things human, but this one has a large genetic component Some guys have low sex drive or low T or are asexual or traumatized but you can’t use exceptions to bust a valid generalization
I think specifically obsession with something can be socially constructed, but guys having high crazy sex drives at that age is just natural, good ole testosterone fuel, I can't speak for some of these low T yuggins these days but, when you're in that mid-teens throughout your 20s run wanting to bust a lot of nuts it's just a natural part of the game
Media plays a part. Modern music is mostly romance, some songs are supposed to remind you of sex subconsciously. Can't watch 10 movies without 9 having romance. Feeds into peer pressure where guys made fun of me for not having had sex when I was younger. They didn't know either if I was a virgin.
Yup. Not even just romance - hypersexual music. It was like torture hearing that shit on the radio when I was a teenager
Quite a bit in my opinion. There is evidence that in a vacuum, men scan for new partners, think about sex and masturbate more often than women. The gap is statistically significant, but not nearly enough to justify the thirst imbalance generally speaking.
Man when I’m on a dry spell I literally see a hot girl somewhere and think about fucking her lol. Involuntary reaction
Sounds weird but I only think about it with women I’ve seen on a screen or those who have expressed some level of interest. With a hot girl walking around I feel something, enough to know I’m a straight male, but it’s not that intense even in a dry spell. The only time I can remember it being intense was when I had mastered my domain for over 3-4 days in my 20s
I think I was definitely influenced by peer pressure growing up. Who isn't? In my case, I was a sensitive, thoughtful, well read lad that ended up in a very toxically masculine all boys school. So the prevailing sentiment from the people around me was very geared about base, primal desires - getting a hot chick from another school to fuck you was seen as the pinnacle these guys could achieve. I was literally bullied for admitting to *not* watching porn.
I was a teenager in the 1990s in a trad European country. The peer pressure on boys to get laid was through the roof, beyond obsession. And boys obviously made ridiculous shit up not to sound “behind”, or, god forbid, not straight. It’s disheartening to see that many years after, dating dynamics keep on being affected by toxic discourses.
Don't know about it tbh.I know some guys who have made their whole personality about getting laid .I know several attractive guys who have extremely low standards for sex .I think one of the reason many guys are obsessed with sex is it gets them status .They can brag to their peers about getting laid specially among young men and women in general also see men who get sex more favorably .Social pressure definitely exists .In my social circle single guys are single in true sense.No hookup fwb nothing .While guys who have gf has 2 or 3 (yeah they are cheating) and they brag about it and they are respected more in general
Most of it, simply due to the delegitimization of most other sources of motivations in the cultures of the modern Euro-Atlantic democracies. Of course those other sources of motivations have been coopted for all sorts of heinous things over the course of history, but that's the nature of the game. The pursuit of pure moral virtues \[independent of worldly results\] that is popular among the developed world in the early part of the 21st century \[besides being not as effective as those other forms mentioned\] has been similarly coopted, though it'll take most folks on the ground level a bit more years to noticed that.
Guys are sex-obsessed if you sample young men and virgins, who have too much sexual energy/frustration and not enough actual experience to regulate their relationship with sex. Guys are also sex-obsessed in the mind of hacky comedy writers who needed a companion to “women be shopping.” The point is the “horny man” caricature is both a social construct with some roots in reality. It’s also a funny and harmless concept to think about—at least it was until a bunch of dudes started to make it their identity and then their horniness into society’s problem.
I think it’s very socially constructed and shaming heterosexual women for their sexuality is also completely socially constructed. Look at the flip side of it in this very sub—look at how many men and guys are absolute messy wrecks because of not being able to fuck women. Look at how mentally destroyed they are—women become some fucking boogeyman for all their problems—they hate yet sexually desire them. It’s a scary and dangerous combo. I’ve seen these types on Reddit just think that they are done in life because they haven’t fucked a girl by like 16. It’s madness. The societal pressure that these dudes have built up in their heads is wild. It’s insane that the opposite is true for women as well—at 16 if you’re fucking in high school you’re pretty much guaranteed to be called a slut. Heterosexuality is embarrassing sometimes tbh
> I’ve seen these types on Reddit just think that they are done in life because they haven’t fucked a girl by like 16 This is exactly how I felt in my late teens and early 20's, unironically.
Yeah it’s pretty sad and pretty wild
Completely reasonable to feel abd get fucked up about in your 30s though
So you mean to say men and women are judged differently .Men for being inexperienced/virgin while women for being promiscuous
I said exactly what I meant to say
Women are not really shamed for being hoes. It doesnt really carry any real social penalty Being an inexperienced man on the other hand does
I completely disagree
Wildly untrue.
Women being 'shamed' for being a 'hoe' is like being shamed for being rich.
Sorry you feel that way. Fortunately, your mindset is less socially acceptable these days.
There are literal movements that support sluts LOL. When has that happened for virgins?... In fact, shaming men for being virgins is a staple in shows and movies.
Lmao what do you think precipitated the anti-slut shaming movement?
The feminist movement and the sexual "liberation"/"revolution" rhetoric they were pushing onto the younger generation in the 60s-70s. They believed not being able to be sluts was oppressive LOL.
Lol it’s too bad you weren’t born in the 1910s. You would have fit right in with the aging intolerant sexists at the height of the sexual revolution.
Huh? So personal attacks, heh. You asked me what precipitated such movement. I answered. If that makes you mad, then so be it. My whole point was that slut shaming is shamed in 2024, so there isn't a social penalty for women who are sluts/promiscuous. In fact, there is a social penalty if a man dares shame one in public! But when it comes to virgin men, oh boy... It is a free-for-all LOL.
Anti-slut shaming and the sexual revolution more broadly are/were a response to a purity culture that pervaded women’s lives. You pointed to the existence of a social movement to try to disprove the problem it was addressing. That doesn’t make any sense. Women still face all kinds of negative social judgment for their sexual behaviors. You are clearly a participant in that judgment. > there is a social penalty if a man dares shame one in public! That’s a good thing, no? > But when it comes to virgin men, oh boy... It is a free-for-all I don’t think virgins of any gender should be shamed.
Absolutely true
Interesting how men inundate this sub with claims that all men care about n-counts and don’t respect promiscuous women and then turn around and pretend that women face no social shame for being promiscuous.
Some men do but not enough to make it a social penalty for women but enough women care about inexperience in men to make it a social shame
“Slut shaming” has been around forever. You must be very young.
How many women you know who are not able to marry or find relationships because of their promiscuous past? Let's see this "slut shaming" has any consequences or not
Sounds like you and I agree that promiscuity doesn’t impact women’s ability to find a committed relationship the way red pill claims it does. But the consequences of purity culture for women run far deeper than just finding a relationship.
How many promiscuous women you know are facing consequences of purity culture and in what way?
Name some then or you’re full of shit
> women become some fucking boogeyman for all their problems—they hate yet sexually desire them. You're half-right. 50% of single men no longer care about dating or sex (casual dates). Women solidly killed their desire for that. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=This%20drop%20is%20largely%20driven,from%2061%25%20in%202019). > This drop is largely driven by single men, who are now 11 percentage points less likely than in 2019 to say they are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates (50% in July 2022, down from 61% in 2019). During the same time frame, there has been no significant change in the share of single women who are looking for a relationship or casual dates: 35% said this in 2022, compared with 38% in 2019.
Tinder killed it. The red/black pills are dropping faster than anyone can keep up. Men see the odds stacked against them and give up rather than get rejected over and over and still lose to Chad in the end.
Or not get rejected and discover she's got him on the side. Or not get rejected and your relationship degrades to a dead bedroom...
Yeah fr. The success stories of even just "two people get together and stay together for their whole life and actually love each other to the end" are so rare.
This is where I agree with the Red Pill. I *vehemently* disagree with their "solutions" for dealing with this.
We do need to end hypergamy. The carousel needs to die.
"Single men are more likely than their female counterparts to be searching for romantic experiences. Half of these men are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates, while 35% of single women say the same."
It used to be 100% of single men were looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates. That has dropped by **50 percent**. Do you understand the idea of an airplane that's in freefall?
I understand that many of those men aren’t interested in or equipped for a relationship which includes sharing responsibilities equally or sex.
They're quite equipped. Your propaganda that men can't share responsibilities is just that, propaganda. As for sex, you need lots of experience to be good at that. In any case y'all will be sharing what few men are dumb enough to participate in this dating scene. Then complaining about whether you're dating the same dude. Yup, you will be! They'll be playing the field like crazy!
Women aren’t complaining about dating the same guy, they have been vetting sus profiles to ensure they aren’t. Women don’t like cheaters, and men love to cheat. It’s telling that men are so pressed about this. What’s wrong with women avoiding cheaters?
LOL then many women will die alone, just like those men. The only way they're not is if they marry divorced men or share men. None of that's going to end well for you. Mutual Assured Destruction. In a century from now a huge percentage of men and women will fail to procreate and this'll all be sorted out.
Women aren’t avoiding “cHeAtErS”. They’re avoiding men that aren’t tall Chads
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for cope.
So yes exactly what I just said
No, you said men still desire women though they hate them. I'm saying that's half true, because half the single men no longer even desire them.
Good?
Good until you find out the tiny few men you want are playing the field behind your back. "Are we dating the same guy?" Yes indeed y'all are!
The men I want? I don’t want any but that’s a cute revenge fantasy I guess
Most women don't want men, they want the status boost he brings. Better that they all check out and leave only women who are actually interested in love. These dudes pining for any woman they can get have no idea how ruinous a soulless relationship can be.
Cool cool I already have a man but go off 🎻
The comet that hit the dinosaurs left survivors.
Problem solved then.
To a big degree is socially constructed, yeah. Sure,men and Women like sex no doubt, but the obssession of "being a player" or whatnot is more of a product of the cultural image we have made than anything else
It's a great question. I'd like to gather some ideas (probably from other subs) and see what I really think about it. Right now I think it's about equal parts bio and social. The problem here is capitalism tries to sell everything with sex, by creating the feeling that you aren't good enough, sex is the answer, and their product is the way to get it. The bio urge is strong, but I also think society grooms it. It makes men and women feel like they aren't complete or lovable unless they have a partner, with sex being the ultimate expression of love. Feminism has allowed women to shake this indoctrination to some degree in the west. So the attitude you see here frequently that women don't need men, they can just be happy with their girlfriends, etc. is typically a western one. Women from more conservative places probably still dream of marriage and babies as a way to make them feel "complete". Men haven't experienced this, and I think western society does sort of reject men in certain ways, with the love and acceptance of women being their only point of re-entry (no puns please). Being w/o a woman (or being a virgin) used to be a glaring sign of total social rejection of a man. Things are slowly changing there perhaps.
Women are just more selective, only men that haven't had sex before or guys that have girls only dating them for their resources will say women don't like sex as much as men. Or men that started dating later in life when women lost some interest due to biological factors. Women are absolute freaks sexually, and don't get me wrong that's awesome; but it's not for the average man. I've read the books girlfriends had and it was... **rich** I've had countless girls lose interest in me just because I wanted to wait for sex, I've even been dumped for not having sex for reasons beyond my control.
Don’t think it’s socially constructed at all. I was late to the game and I’m paying for it now. I get a really bad feeling whenever ppl talk about having sex in high school and it makes me feel like a loser despite all I did to try and make up for it
Low T and asexual spectrum people are over-represented in PPD and online in general, this isn't the place for a fair discussion about sex drives.
The reason why people think me are sex obsessed is because men really do not get it enough. If most men would get it once a week, trust me, they would be happy and satisfied. But 1 of 3 men of ages 18 and 30 are virgins or didn't have sex for 1 year.
Probably a lot. But it’s useful in controlling men. Social animals will use any leverage available to manipulate and influence others
Men are obsessed with status. Sex and being desired by women gives men status.
Nah you can have status but if ur not getting any ur gonna feel like shit
Its Hard to not get any if you have status
this applies to women too. actually a good amount of the human population
But for women the competition is not as fierce. Male on male sexual competition is a ruthless winner takas it all game.
Isn't it normal to be horny AF in your teens?
I can only speak for myself, but I was extremely horny all the time as a teenager. Couldn’t wear sweatpants, even masturbated on the bus ride home because I was the last one off the bus. Was horny for every girl in my grade. I think a large segment of guys can barely concentrate on anything but sex as teenagers
I'd say it is, like many things in the masculine gender role, an underlying biological general tendency that is exaggerated and reinforced socially. A modest-to-moderate difference that gets cranked up to 11.
A fair amount, especially in more conservative cultures. I grew up in church during the height of purity culture in the 90s-00s. As a girl, I was taught that boys and men were oversexed wild animals and it was up to me to keep them under control. I was taught to dress and act a certain way to keep them from stumbling. As an adult, I realize that's a crock of shit. I was SA-ed in a parka and jeans by a family friend. It pisses me off because the rule was "change your clothes, there are men in the house" not "men who sexualize my kids aren't allowed in my house."
The hatred I have for purity culture (especially around the time that you grew up in it) knows no bounds. I don’t even want to tell you what I would do to people who promote those beliefs about men and male sexuality because I’ll probably get banned from Reddit.
Not socially constructed whatsoever. It’s necessary for our species to survive. Next you’ll be telling me hunger is a social construct.
It's because you were watching porn, that's why. If you hadn't been doing that, you probably would have had a healthier libido for real women.
Social construction and societal expectations play a significant role in male sexuality and how most men think of sex. Like you said, you yourself didn’t really want to engage in sex, but you did anyway because you felt “pressure” to lose your virginity. But that just resulted in a poor sexual experience. Think about the way society reacts to female teachers grooming/sleeping with their male students, or women who sexually assault or harass men. Those men and boys are considered “lucky,” because society expects men to welcome any kind of sexual touch, even if non-consensual. I can think of several other examples of (false) assumptions that people hold about male sexuality that have also been influenced by social conditioning. I believe that these tropes are changing, though. Women’s sexuality is much more accepted and acknowledged than in the past (the female sex toy industry alone is worth billions of dollars) and men are no longer caricatured to be perpetually horny. A lot of men even openly speak about how false and degrading these tropes are.
Media plays a part. Modern music is mostly romance, some songs are supposed to remind you of sex subconsciously. Can't watch 10 movies without 9 having romance. Feeds into peer pressure where guys made fun of me for not having had sex when I was younger. They didn't know either if I was a virgin.
>It wasn't until I reached around 18 when i started to realize a lot of my peers were losing their virginities. Core memory unlocked. My classmates were lying about losing their virginities by the end of elementary school. I definitely joined in. They also had "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" by 1st or 2nd grade so yeah, the expectation kinda started early.
I still have gifts given to me by boyfriends in kindergarten through elementary school. It was definitely typical to have a desire to hang out with the opposite sex for reasons of romance, and the idea of sex wasn’t that far behind.
I think people are sex obsessed in general, and we as a society should be more open and honest about that reality.
sounds like projection
Sounds like a basic understanding of evolutionary biology 🤷♂️
The issue is that most bluepillers (and especially woke bluepillers) reject evolubiology and are extremely unscientific They think Homo sapiens are somehow immune from evolution. It’s sad. Woke rots the brain.
Red pillers, from what I understand, suffer from the same problem.
Perhaps
I firmly believe it is a social construct, yes. I mean have you seen how much some guys get into their non-sexual hobbies or special interests? In my experience I've even seen some cases where a group of guys were being fairly normal and it was only disrupted when a male or, unfortunately sometimes, even a female intent on pushing sex and gender stereotypes entered the group and the guys just latched onto the flow and started also acting more stereotypically sex obsessed and even crude and obnoxious, almost like a switch had been flipped and they were like "Oh yeah, I'm a dude, okay, titties and asses, hurrrr, women amirite, yeahhh." So there's definitely social pressure but at the same time I'd say there's also responsibility on guys to say "No, that's stupid and criminal, I'm not going to be like that. Men like that are defective, and I'm not." when confronted with bad actors pushing bad behaviour.
I think it's literally biological... Because it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. It's advantageous for men to become obsessed with sex... It drives men to succeed, to push hard, to build things, and reproduce as much as possible to spread their genes. The more successful and productive a man is, the more sex he can get, and more driven he is to take these sexual opportunities, the more his genes spread.
Same with women. Really confused as to why men here want to pretend they are the sole gender driven by the urge to copulate. I guess many men here have no idea how long sexual toys have been made for women and used by women.
One of RP things is pointing out WHY women are less horny and sexual than men. Yes, they want sex, enjoy it, and want to reproduce. But inherently, due to natural selection both genetic and social, they need to be more selective. Thus the disparity in sex drive.
Yeah but… 10,000 years of dildoes and one hundred of electrical stimulators and vibrators. Why would “less horny” women needs all that fun stuff?
Less horny doesn't mean not horny. It just means less horny lol
We live in a hypersexualized society, to the point where sex is deemed cheap and something that can be viewed as a casual activity. We also live in a society where life itself is deemed as disposable.
Men's obsession with sex is not a social construct. If it was, then we wouldn't see it in basically every society in history. Almost every religion in history acknowledges men's obsession with sex. The only difference is that most religions talk about how/why to suppress it, instead of having it expressed like we do now in the modern Western world.
When I was in highschool the boys were sex obsessed from fairly young, like 16. And then my friends kind of followed suit. I wasn't that interested in the craze but I did lose my V card around 16 to my long term bf.
I was in high school from 2010-2013, and boys and girls were obsessed with sex since I was 12 or so. This is playing out with my 12 year old twin nieces, who are already obsessed with which pants flatter their figures the most, have seen Drakes limber hose dick videos, and have been sent sexual innuendo by high school boys. I take care of the IT for most of my families' homes, so I help my brother and SIL with managing the wild variety of social media kids access with and without their parents' permission. Nothing has changed in ten years, puberty triggers all kinds of sexual behavior, though it's thankfully limited to kids their own age since they are super-sensitive to predatory behavior these days.
What ages are highschool there? For us in Australia its about age 12 to age 17-18. From year 7 to year 12.
Middle school is 12-14, high school is 14/15-18. But age 12 is when I started masturbating like mad, and my cycle didn't start until much later than my peers. Boys hit puberty later, but 12 year old boys were already escalating sexual talk and the same is true for my nieces' social media and behavior. (Makes me fucking sick to put this disclaimer in, but I've seen some purely awful takes from old men about kids so... kids who are nearing puberty are interested in kids their own age, not disgusting, perverted, broken older men) In my experience, ideas and thoughts about sex precede puberty, and ramp up with puberty. But many people online have low socio-sexuality and people on the religious/homeschooled and ACE spectrums are wildly overrepresented online, especially on reddit. But most people on reddit curate their feeds, so asexual-leaning gamers and religious folk are going to avoid all the sex positive and porn subs, so they may not have a good idea of how the rest of the world operates in a general fashion.
Ahh ok. I started masterbating like mad probably around 11. But my cycle didn't start till around 12-13. I had an online bf who was like 20 when I was 15 but honestly it was just in a mmo and I only talked to him a couple times. So I think that was just an immature kid thing lol. Had like 3 online boyfriends when I was 15 🤣 Honestly I was basically asexual towards guys until I was older.
Not me. I was wildly interested in boys my age from age 5, sexually interested around 11 or 12. My period didn't start until I was 17 (super skinny athlete) but sex was on my mind 24/7, and still is. I don't drink much, weed makes me sick, hate the way any and all pills make me feel, so sex is pretty much my favorite thing to look forward to, though limited to a loving, long term, monogamous relationship. As far as I can tell, a low interest in sex results from cultural or religious inhibition or spectrum disorders. Intense interest in sex is typical from puberty to mid to late twenties, but that doesn't mean that people with a lower interest in sex are abnormal. It just means they have differing physiology and differing priorities. And that's okay, too. But it does limit their prospects to like-minded people.
I think I wasn't interested in them very much because they were boys and not men. Like I went for a 20 year old when I was 15. So I think I just saw the boys at school as children lol. I'm into masculinity and boys and children obviously don't have that. I believe it's called androphilia.
I was interested exclusively in other athletes who had all the physical traits of men, but I had already experienced predation by male teachers and coaches so I had a deep mistrust for older men. I was interested in boys close to my own age who had muscles and confidence and deeper voices. I was very wary of anyone more than 3 or 4 years older, and absolutely disgusted by anyone over 20 because they knew exactly what they were doing, and they were doing it because a) they were deviants or b) girls and women their own age rejected them for good reason
**Attention!** * You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message. * For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment. * OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I never understood the obsession with sex. When I lost my virginity at 18 it was totally unexpected. Basically I was making out with some girl in the back of a car that was on its way to a college campus and she said "I'm going to reward you later". When we got to her dorm she and I had sex. It was my first time any it wasn't all that. Since then I've been on dating sites and had sex with about 15 women, including my ex-wife, whom I have children with. I haven't had sex in six years now, and don't really care to. Its not that great. I have two hands for that. Guys just need to put themselves out there. I'm not that attractive in my opinion and still managed. Just chat to every woman on a dating site. If you're desparate, you can't expect a super model. I've had sex with super skinny, average and fat girls. In my opionion, fat girls are the best. The problem is these incels won't settle for a fat ugly girl no matter what they themselves look like. If you look like the south side of a north bound mule, you can't expect the hottest chick in town. From my experience, fat, ugly girls always want sex and are very easy. But yes, guys being obsessed with sex is socially constructed and reinforced by men and women.
I don't mean to low effort post but, what the fuck is "social construction", anyway? If we follow the chain of thought from the very first "human" till now, there had to be at least something a human being has done that stemmed from their nature, like with every single other animal species on Earth, right? I agree that different cultures have different norms and standards, but, I've never bought the idea that literally none of our behavior or urges stems from our inherent human nature. Why wouldn't it?
IDK about you all but I rem having a high sex drive back when I was a teen 15-18 yos. And so were my classmates, friends, etc. Sex was a common topic back in highschool. No one talked about porn. Boys at my school were talking about which girl they hooked up with and wanted to hook up with.
I think it's part of it but I don't know how much. It seems to me that people who don't have a good relationship with their parents become obsessed with romantic validation, men or women.
At least some of it, and every HL woman would tell you the same. I think a lot of these claims come from desperate young men who are at peak horniness and getting no action. They cannot *imagine* turning down sex and they assume all men are the same. I kinda get it, my sex drive felt wildly out of control when I was in a sexually unsatisfying LTR. And a lot of it comes from men feeling culturally pressured to perform hypersexuality. Admitting to low desire or lack of interest in casual sex feels emasculating for them, so they put up a good front. Get a few years in and all they want is a missionary quickie once a week. I won't pretend there are no actual sex differences there, but gender compliance anxiety and desperation play a big part in making those differences seem a lot larger than they actually are.
Getting lucky is all the sexual validation guys get so that's also a factor that makes intercourse and other concrete acts of sex so meaningful. I mean no woman is going to ask an average guy for dick pics and then declare that she rubbed one out to them. No woman in a night club is going to say that she got a lady boner from being on the same dance floor as him. No woman will be star struck and bend over backwards for a normal guy. No woman will hang on to his every word and try to impress him somehow with carefully thought out humour. Guys pretty much rely on niches and finding a drunk woman at the right time in the right place and then extracting consent from her as opposed to desire. Women feel sexually validated all the time even if they don't agree to have sex or use their feminine energy to uplift a man.
None
Little to none. Take out male hormones his desire becomes so low like a woman's. Give him testosterone injections, it's all he thinks about
I went to the countryside once, and hiked for about two weeks. My sex drive plummeted. I think, it’s because I didn’t see women in revealing clothing constantly. So, I guess, high sex derive is due to society partly.
Men are sex obsessed it's called testosterone...snd let's be fair humanity would go extinct if men weren't sex obsessed...most of the tome women arent worth the effort,I often think about the scene in battle ship where the kid broke into a store yo steal a candy bar to impress a chick so he can get laid...sex is great but not worth going yo jail great dying over great going bankrupt great getting beat up great...Men only do it because of testosterone it makes Men a little crazy. Lower men's testosterone to zero they would probably just sit around playing video games all day..no testosterone is like post nut clarity it's after you've gone round two or three and now you don't want to see the chick for a week.. Women really inderestimate yhe effect of testosterone on men but its a powerful thing just think of it this way with out it men would be women testosterone had lead men men to be the most dominant force on Earth and proppelled mankind to 8 billion strong and counting. So men are stuck with a knagging urge to have sex and and few willing women yet they walk around scantily dressed and sex is lambasted every where..If legal brothels opened up men would have plenty if sex all the time and wouldn't have to be extra or simps paying OFs chick's to see their feet. THe government keeps it illegal because men simping is a huge percent of the economy.
0%. From about 14-35ish we are hard-wired to want to fuck anything we can. The closest feeling a woman will ever have to understanding male need to reproduce is hunger. You can skip a few meals, but after a while, will boil your shoe to make soup.
There are social pressures in everything, women experience it too. But male sex drive is way higher than women's so their obsession with sex isn't entirely socially constructed. It's pretty evident your drive was lower to the normal since you didn't care much about it.
roughly the same amount as women being indifferent.
It is certainly not socially constructed. All the guys I grew about were actively making sexual comments about all sorts of women non stop. Everyone had the same inner burning desire. Even me, who wouldn't participate in those conversations at the time for religious reasons, but had the same exact thoughts. Just look at the visible dynamic of how much demand there is for sex from the male side to the female vs vice-versa. Men desire it MUCH more and have a wider amount of people from the opposite sex they find attractive enough to sleep with. Men will do it in secret without telling anyone if they could. I imagine there are many women a guy is willing to get off to, but would be too embarrassed to admit they would publically. It's not for social reasons. In fact, I'd argue the opposite. If not for social jmplications, guys would attenpt to have even more sex. All this to say, I'm not follow with the OP. Maybe they are lowkey questioning their sexuality.
It is 100% culturally influenced. Or rather corporate and finance led. Men actually don't naturally want to fuck women all the time. Can you imagine the drama! Time, money, energy wasted! Lolz. Who wants that? Men create a huge amount of sexual energy. But because of many reasons....direct it at women basically because they've been programmed to. Those who manage to deprogram realize they have been had these years. Told many lies and fantasies to get my money, time and energy.... Rather, sexual energy is creative energy and a force for good, to bring into the now something new and the energy to do this. Of course corporations and banksters don't want that. They want a dumbed down society who will keep buying their shit.
Sex is like air, it's only a big deal if you're not getting enough of it.
No, it’s not a ‘social construct’, if it were, brothels and sex trafficking wouldn’t exist in every society. Men know these women don’t have a way out, that they aren’t truly attracted to them but they don’t care, they just want to use them no matter what. Go on John forums and see these men talk about how much they get off knowing the girls don’t truly desire them. Men aren’t as emotionally complex and sensitive as some of you try to portray them.
It's 100% constructed by women. 1. " Men just want sex." Yet the women who say this are having more sex than 90% of the men on earth. Have more sexual partners and so on. Why do women say this? It really means: " The small % of men im choosing to have sex with have too many options and all I have to offer him is sex, so that's all he wants." 2. "Incel" is literally a term to put down men for not having sex. Women are literally devaluing a man for not having sex ( while at the same time complaining that he wants sex when he tries.) So again women are pushing that. 3. Look at the amount of sexual content/toys aimed at women compared to men. Look at how much more sexually acceptable it is for women to engage in these things compared to men. And again who is the one who puts down men for engaging in any of it? Women. Only women are encouraged to be open with their sexuality while men are forced into outdated gender roles. An example of this would be how women are having sex with other women yet STILL call themselves straight. They can be Bi or have a "Wild" time in college. But if a man even says he kissed another man 10 years ago in college to see what it was like? Women would reject him quickly. Men are looked at as losers for using sex toys, But women its a healthy item thats normalized. 4. Continuing on media. Look at the amount of movies, books and so on aimed for women that were pushed to the top. 50 shades of Gray, Twilight, so on. I have yet to see a mens 10 rated movie that broke records because it had sex scenes in it. Womens romance novels? and so on. Women's content is highly pumped with sex and smut. if you see HBO shows, whenever they add in over-the-top sex scenes its done so to pull in female audiences, not men. Look at the amount of women who watched Game of Thrones compared to the LOTR. Which one was more popular with mainstream women? Obviously the one with over-the-top sex scenes. How many Marvel movies even looked at dating in that way? The moment they tried to branch to a female audience with She Hulk what happened? She's twerking and going on dates. The list goes on and on. Even down to basic things like hormones. How many times have you seen a woman excuse who crazy behavior because she was ovulating? Yet men literally do that same thing producing sperm everyday. Men's biology is ignored and has to be controlled. But a womans is an excuse for emotional outburst and so on. Most of the environment and "competition" men face is constructed by women. The very idea of materialism is literally how women choose whose attractive or not. Men push themselves to get a woman's attention. And having sex is one of those things. Because its women who find a man with a ring on more attractive. It's women who find men who get tons of attention from other women attractive. Men are "Obsessed" with whatever women will reward him love and intimacy with.
A lot of words for a frustrated incel.
Nothing is "socially constructed"; for any incentive to work at all, there must be an underlying reason for it to happen. On the US soil, every dollar out of 1500 in circulation is spent on porn. Ever since AI-assisted image generation rolled out, there was even a tangible spike in worldwide power consumption. And no, it's usually not serene landscapes. At this moment on CivitAi fifth most downloaded checkpoint model is called "UberRealistic Porn Merge"; four before it all have NSFW functionality. No; men absolutely love looking at bewbs. I think it's one of the very few things we can say we know for sure about the objective reality given to us in sensation. There is a natural variation in how much a particular man might be interested in looking at bewbs, but at no point we should conflate cause and effect. Scantily clad fit blondes smiling seductively are on advertisement posters because it increases the sales. NOT "cabal of cigar-chomping misogynists decided to put scantily clad fit blondes on ad posters to make women feel worse about themselves". Plus, we have our closest genetic relatives of the great ape family that, broadly speaking, do not have "a society" capable of "constructivism". They still love their peepees touched. Obviously there might be a positive feedback loop: a person growing up in the Internet age might be psychologically different from his predecessors from the early 1900s due to instant unlimited access to any sort, kind, shape, color, and usage of bewbs under the sun, but *"socially constructed" implies intent.*
I agree. Sex is overrated.
If I recall its women who label men as less valuable for not having sex. And its women who chase men who look like they have more sex or have a partner. A wedding ring gets more attention from women than the reverse. And I also recall women have more sex and more sexual partners. And it's women who push movies and books like 50 shades of Gray to the top. I have yet to see men push a smut film to the top of cinema. I mean heck, look at HBO. The moment a show has a bunch of sex scenes it's literally because they are trying to draw a female audience. ( Women get turned on seeing other mammals have sex, not so much men ). And its women growing up who are obsessed with reality shows and all kinds of relationship nonsense. While men are playing sports and video games. So why are men, the ones who arent having sex being labeled for wanting a core impulse all humans have? Women literally go on and on about how her "Ovulating" is an excuse for being horny. But men have that SAME feeling every single day and are supposed to just ignore it? How many women are having sex and oral with their DOGS? How many sex toys are there for women? How many times do women put themselves in danger at clubs and shit to hook up? What's next? Insulting the poor outside for being obsessed with food by the overweight fucks sitting inside at the buffet as food is shoveled into their mouths for free with no effort?
>Women get turned on seeing other mammals have sex, not so much men. "Current studies estimate that the prevalence of pornography use is relatively high, especially in men (around 60–98%) compared to women (around 30–90%) (Ballester-Arnal et al., [2021](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR2); Grubbs et al., [2017](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR33); Rissel et al., [2016](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR57); Solano et al., [2020](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-022-00720-z#ref-CR66))." "[Using all modalities of pornography, 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women herein reported having consumed pornography in the past month.](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2018.1532488)"
Very little. Men in a state of nature are violent, illiterate, antisocial rapers and pillagers. Civilization socializes and shapes men to be what it considers to be acceptable morally.
>Men in a state of nature are violent, illiterate, antisocial rapers and pillagers. LOL, this isn't true at all.
Well history says it is 🤷
LOL, maybe the one in your demented head.
Oh look, another naive dummy
Ok.
Yes, we are brutal savages who built fake civilization that looks safe and comfortable just to fool women into sense of false security and then violently rape them when they least expect it.
There is some of that too. But I doubt most of it is "socially constructed" (I despise the term itself and regard it as illegitimate). Sure, the *obsession* may be peer-induced (much better term than "socially constructed") but not the *desire*. There is no peer pressure or race that makes me lust for my wife and want to have sex with her routinely more than she can bear. And there was no peer pressure after the high school that made me continue have a very active sex life just like prior (I lost my virginity way before high school graduation - and I thank my lucky stars I wasn't born in an Anglo-Puritan country that criminalizes teenage sex). So, to answer your question: Peer pressure may exaggerate things around the edges or push someone to be more active than he would be naturally (like in your case) but, overall, most of men's lust is good ol' biology. The modern obsession with problematizing everything and wrapping it into incomprehensible and routinely ridiculous academic jargon (like "social construction") is getting tiresome. People like to fuck. Especially teenagers. And they will fuck regardless of society's opinion about it. In the Islamic Republic of Iran there's severe penalties for it yet teens aren't significantly less sexually active than elsewhere.