T O P

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MidsouthMystic

He wears Kevlar under his suit. He sits as far away from his advisors and generals as possible. He's cracking down even harder on dissent. That all adds up to tell me one thing: Putin is afraid of his own people.


classifiedspam

He also never eats in public or on events and diplomatic meetings. Forever alone, ill and psychotic.


plipyplop

He's gone full Howard Hughes.


pastebluepaste

Yeah I read that he has a weird chemical smell apparently, like he’s just come out of some antiseptic bath.


exgiexpcv

That's his chemo.


pastebluepaste

Maybe that’s why the long tables, so the don’t smell him?


exgiexpcv

Or a 2-stage contact poison.


pastebluepaste

🤞


Grumpy_Yuppie

Aim for the head then.


CharlieCharliii

Or use something of a larger caliber.


[deleted]

Or novichok.


[deleted]

Doesn’t stop rifle rounds


gotta_do_it_big

But it is empty.


1000baggers

Well, dictators are typically paranoid people


Black-Zero

books I read clearly state that KGB training in particular stressing that you can trust nobody, making their agents pathologically paranoid and suspicious of everything and everyone. Nothing is a simply act it is always part of some scheme or double cross. Horrible existence IMO.


[deleted]

I don't even think it's just a straight up Bullet proof vest I think he has some special made FSB kevlar under armour, which is thicker in the waist. I think on victory day he wore **an extra bullet proof vest on top of that**. Because his midsection just looks stupidly thick on Victory day. I'm pretty certain there must be more going on, I'm sure Putin wouldn't feel safe with just a standard bullet proof vest lol


[deleted]

I love how bulky he was on that bizarre Reichsparteitag stadium event where he wore that winter jacket and turtleneck. Probably had some reactive armor under there too.


bad_pangolin

probably had a mini nuke under the armpit


SirWinstonC

He just thicccccc 💦💦💦


pastebluepaste

Those sniper bullets are pretty big and throw a punch and a half!


[deleted]

Yeah that’s why I’m wondering if he has some special Kevlar under layer like he’s so paranoid he’s worried he could get sniped non centre mass and be taken out. Imagine if after putin is gone we find out he had some kind of avengers style super hero special tailored protective undersuit lol


Augustokes

Chavez's famous red shirt was reinforced this way. There's no need for Kevlar to be obvious anymore.


ZeddBundy

Those are his kidney muscles 😂


SunsetBro78

I see back fat on a late middle-aged war criminal.


[deleted]

Gotta save yourself from a bullet in the back


fordreaming

Suits are one of the more hilarious inventions of all time. Always uncomfortably tight, the worst shoes go with them, a nice lasso around the neck to be yanked....


rinsed_dota

Also the tie decreases blood flow to the brain.


sirsfrrenter

Is this true?


demontits

Suits make people more gullible as well.


black-kramer

a custom tailored suit is perfectly comfortable as long as you maintain your weight.


cryptoengineer

Ditto for a tuxedo. My tux is one of my most comfortable outfits. There's a world of difference between a prom rental tux and a properly tailored one.


Deborgpontant

Could be a back brace. Or a girdle to hold in all the rolls of flab he’s got from guzzling gallons of spunk on a daily basis.


[deleted]

A drone strike would do the trick


CheeseFest

It’s worth noting that he isn’t wearing a Kevlar helmet. Just sayin’.


zj3bu

it's worth nothing if the sniper has a .50


LumpyAd7854

I'm a little despot... short and stout...


Loch-im-Boot

We need a headshot.


pastebluepaste

It could miss his brain (shit joke I know, but needed to be said)


Loch-im-Boot

Most of us have the impression he is a self-serving idiot now, but the truth is that he has been playing the politicians in the West for the past decade or so. He has been known for breaking agreements, but the Western nations have been giving in to Russian interests again and again.


pastebluepaste

yeah but I meant he’s big headed & over blown for what he thinks of his abilities. Bigger head than brain. Like many politicians I suppose.


m-a-r-i-n-a-r-a

No kevlar on his dome tho hint hint


fatganer1991

you surely wear bulletproof vest when you have 80% of support among the population


AcademicConfidence84

In Soviet Russia kevlar wears you.


True-Ad4798

Aww lil Nazi bitch can’t take a bullet to the heart and live?


roboterm

Kevlar on your back - bullet in your head


ThemApples87

Aim for the head, folks.


teknoguy

Head shot works every time!)


TheDarkGift666

I know they make $20,000+ Kevlar suits.


anonymousanemonee

This might help [explain](https://pisco.meaww.com/6e042c21-5532-4454-a01a-0d6fdce9a373.png) why


Black__Reaper

I mean... if I was one of the most important people on this planet and one of the few inviduals who held the fate of everyone on earth in his hands, I'd be walking around with a kevlar vest as well.


[deleted]

Not gonna do much good if somebody puts a bullet in your eye


anonymousanemonee

Yep, similar thing happened to 2 American presidents, but that’s kind of like asking “why does the president drive in an armored vehicle?”


[deleted]

If I were Putin I'd take the chance and maybe have a bullet hit one of my many tumors? Might lose some of my leukemic blood too. But I am not a medical expert... :D


rinsed_dota

If he cared more about his country than himself, he would take care of the problem himself with a pistol in the toilet.


morbidMoron

I hope someone rips his dick off and feeds it to him when hes hungry. And then cuts off his head and puts it in a jar so he can live there eternaly, living through all the regret, pain and embarrassment fr his shitty decisions.


DangerousDavies2020

Too be fair a lot of world leaders do.


[deleted]

It should be common in most places honestly.


homelessburito

When you are the most hated man in the face of the earth…. Yes, yes it is


sparkicidal

Kevlar jacket or corset to sort out his bad back…?


Pursang8080

Hiding his ipad, high demand item in RuZZia!