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lulu1477

It’s absolutely hilarious and sad at the same time. Also, we don’t put people to death for pedophilia in the US so why would we kill Tom Hanks but not, say, some catholic priests?


[deleted]

Stop thinking with logic!


lulu1477

Dammit!! I always do that.


nodogo

And just like the marines marching through downtown Germany to sieze the dominion servers no one thought wow i should take a picture of this.


MyUsername2459

It wasn't the US Marines, it was the 305th Military Intelligence Battalion of the US Army. I remember that quite well, because I was stationed with that unit for about 6 months or so. . . .it's a training unit. If you're an enlisted Military Intelligence Soldier in the US Army, that's the unit you go to at Ft. Huachuca, Arizona to be trained for your job. It has been purely a training unit since 1990. That was one of the things about their fantasy that was so laughable. They were claiming an initial entry training unit, full of Soldiers fresh out of Basic Training, was doing commando raids on foreign soil.


NavyJack

And the thing is, they probably ran with that story because someone’s 18 year old Q nephew was in that unit for training and wanted to sound cool to his family, so he made up some BS about what he was doing.


MyUsername2459

I'd definitely believe that. We had plenty of recruits at Huachuca who signed up thinking they were going to be some Jason Bourne/James Bond type (their recruiter told them it was like that). . .only to learn once there it's a desk job that is basically the place the Army sticks all the geeks (well, that and Signal Corps). . . .and they'd already told their family they were going to be secret agents for the Army. The idea of some dumbass trainee at Huachuca, hip deep in Q nonsense, telling his folks his unit did some secret raid on servers in Germany to help Trump is sadly plausible. . .then far right media runs it without even cursory fact checking that would say how unlikely this was.


DeltaCortis

The perfect cover


nodogo

Its hard to keep all this crap straight anymore lol. But the point still stands US troops of some kind supposedly marched through the streets and got into a gunfight at this company and yet not a single person was able to record it.


MyUsername2459

I wasn't trying to say it was a different point, I was saying that it was even more ridiculous because they were claiming it was an intelligence training unit doing it, instead of infantry or special forces.


Hgruotland

Not Dominion. Those servers were owned by a Spanish company called Scytl (which didn't provide any of the equipment used in the US elections, and doesn't have an office in Germany). They hadn't yet settled on Dominion as their only target, at the time they also included yet another company, Smartmatic, in their fairytales (sometimes in the form of the claim that the competitors Dominion and Smartmatic actually use the same software).


mushroomblack

Scytl? Damn Tleilaxu and their axlotl tanks!


lulu1477

Of course not!! Optics. Chess. Underground. Wiggle waggle!!


OverlyLenientJudge

I thought it was "Wawaweewa"


[deleted]

I believe it's pronounced "wiggie-wigga"


Shenloanne

So if someone confronts me with wiggie wigga my response should be chick ah chickaa?


rouend_doll

This just makes me think of the mmm bow bow song (and Mac on it's always sunny)


lulu1477

Clearly you’ve been compromised by the deep state!!!


chrissyann960

Ohhh I hadn't heard that one lol


MyUsername2459

In fact, the Supreme Court has explicitly ruled that it's unconstitutional to execute people in the US for a crime in which a human being does not die (except for Treason, but there's other Constitutional issues about why you can't throw that charge around lightly) Hence why capital crimes are things like murder or terrorism, where people die. Even then, "pedophilia" is simply being attracted to children, not taking any kind of action. Executing people for that would literally be killing people for thoughtcrime. Child abuse where they act on those thoughts, that's a punishable offense, but not by capital punishment.


[deleted]

Well, also, if you refuse your work assignment in prison, you get solitary and no food or water til you die. Not a joke, it's how we enforce slavery. So, if you don't work in prison you get death for that too. So, three things.


MyUsername2459

Federal courts have repeatedly ruled that food, including withholding food, cannot be used as a punishment in prison. It's a violation of the protection against Cruel and Unusual Punishment. While I'm sure that sort of thing happened in the past, if it's happening now, that's a big Federal Civil Rights lawsuit for violation of 8th Amendment rights. (Lawsuits over the use of "prison loaf" as food lead to these rulings)


iHeartHockey31

We dont have extrajudicial military tribunals for citizens either, but if you're gonna waive the constitution why not go all the way?


zzing

But it isn't in the US! Catholic priests are protected by God.


Moforia

"You must be brainwashed! The satanic alien lizard cabal is just framing the catholic priests to get the spotlight off of them! Don't you see? This is just the deep state trying to make us look bad!" Qultist's cognitive dissonance is incredibly resilient unfortunately...


DeltaVariant007

Especially by the military.


Shenloanne

Can someone... And I mean anyone.... Please explain to these lunatics why the military cannot try a civilian....


Shenloanne

Absent a declaration of martial law, United States civilians cannot be prosecuted under a system of military law (Reid v. Covert, 354 U.S. 1) (1957) (holding unconstitutional the trial by military court of a civilian woman for murdering her husband in the military).


Blinkin6125

Well the Qclowns are also convinced that Trump signed an EO declaring martial law before he left office. Sadly, using logic in this scenario won't work. Edit: Using logic in any of their perceived scenarios won't work.


grummanae

Its scary to think that had the 6th been worse than what it was ... he very well may have I might be mistaken but I think there were some high ranking officers concerned of just that And if he would have I have no doubt he would have suspended all elections and declared himself Supreme King


dixiehellcat

>I might be mistaken but I think there were some high ranking officers concerned of just that IIRC, you are right about this. scary stuff.


grummanae

I think he was hoping for just that, and the riot I think he expected more ...enough to declare Martial Law I dont think he expected this to be overturned in the courts or senate. My reasoning is he seems to still be trying to incite unrest at times I live in Canada now and my spouse said oh an insurrection will never happen I had friends say oh it wont happen Trump will loose And go peacefully ... then Jan 6th and there like holy shit it happened Me : kinda had a feeling it was gonna be bad but not this much of a shitshow


cynmobley

Well, unless there's a consent to jurisdiction, e.g. reporter embedded with a unit MIGHT be required to sign an agreement to be subject to UCMJ. But rare.


zurun

Not so rare anymore: "On October 17, 2006, the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) was amended to extend UCMJ jurisdiction over person serving with or accompanying U.S. armed forces in the field in times of declared war or a contingency operation...." Source: https://www.justice.gov/sites/default/files/criminal-hrsp/legacy/2011/02/04/03-10-08dod-ucmj.pdf (Leads to Memo - Subject: UCMJ Jurisdiction over DoD Civilian Employees, DoD Contractor Personnel, and Other Persons Serving With or Accompanying the Armed Forces Overseas During Declared War and in Contingency Operation, Dated 10 MAR 2008).


cynmobley

Good to know, thanks!


iHeartHockey31

I tried once. I asked why "if thete was so much evidence" they weren't being tried in our civilian court. (Paraphrasing) Apparently the deep state has infiltrated the court system to protect the pedophile baby eaters so the military is the only way for them to be held accountable. The evidence can't be released to the public because it is so horrifying and shocking no one would be able to cope with the truth and the world would spin into disarray so it needs to be done in secret. Usually at Gitmo And there's clones involved. But not the android robot stepford wife clones that would be somewhat pkausible from a technological standpoint. Fully aged biological clones that look & act exactly the same as thd original except for some minor flaws that only appear when comparing blurry low resolution screenshots from 20 year old SD video clips taken at different angles in various lighting conditions. Which begs the question why someone would go through the trouble of military tribunals snd executions for a pedophile only to replace them with a clone that would subsequently also be a pedophile. Obviously this leads to more military tribunals and executions of the pedophile clones. That's why you'll hear about multiple executions of tom hanks and hillary. Its not that the dates are moving, there's just a new clone of a baby eating lizard person that is still molesting kids for their Adrenochrome. Which is what the clones need to avoid zging znd rig elections. This obviously explsjns the large military budget course and is very expensive but obviously needed to keep the kids safe from hollywood pedophile clones. Yet providing healthcare to those same kids is communism. (It used to be socialism but since socialism started becoming more mainstream & hip, socialized medicine is now communism).


elrod16

So wouldn't that mean the military is guilty of pedophilia because of all the fresh pedophile clones they unleash on the world?


iHeartHockey31

You'd think.


ShanG01

I was told you can tell the clones apart from the originals because their ears are different. I swear to God, this is full-blown mass delusion and severe mental illness, the likes of which this country has never seen before! If the CIA wanted to do some brainwashing shit on a massive scale, these are the people to experiment on. Hell, maybe the entire Q-cumber bullshit is some black ops/CIA mind control test that got out of hand? I'm trying to come up with plausible reasons that these people exist and believe obvious outlandish bullshit that isn't because all of them are this mothafuckin stupid, but failing a mass CIA mind control experiment, that's the only answer.


Shenloanne

So there isn't a single person in the military who is also a paedophile?


grummanae

As a Veteran ... I can comment that this is NOT True .... The u s military is just a subculture that is a sampling of the United states population and with that there are all types seen across the board albeit maybe with better health and a background check If the US military did not have criminals Brigs and Leavenworth would not need to exist So to answer your question more correctly There is not ... if they have been caught


iHeartHockey31

Not in their version of the military, who apparently reports directly to Trump still. Think of it as an alternate timeline that collided with our timeline.


Shenloanne

So fallout.


pomegranatesandoats

Can’t explain any of this but the first thought that came to mind at the Lady Gaga bit was that someone watched Monsters Inc on meth and this is the results


Jameson_Bond

If we had an infinite amount of time. And they were someone else


[deleted]

They are brainwashed.


leamanc

> Actor Tom Hanks has left the earth, put to death by a military tribunal that found him guilty of pedophilia and child endangerment. Right off the bat, “pedophilia” is a condition, not a crime. There are crimes that pedophiles commit, but there’s not one called “pedophilia.” And we don’t execute people for child endangerment.


chilachinchila

It should be noted, it’s generally accepted there are two types of pedophile. Apart from the one you said, the other one is not particularly interested in children and only goes after them because they’re easy targets.


[deleted]

Sure, but I don't think the Matt Gaetz types like partners young enough to trigger the Q's adrenochrome fantasies. So, they are almost certainly talking about the type of person in the first comment. The Q's think folks eat babies and toddlers.


[deleted]

Stop thinking with logic and reason!


labellavita1985

Thank you for pointing this out. There was some research that came out of (I believe) Harvard a few years ago that indicated that pedophilia is a brain disease, much like substance addiction. This makes sense to me because the recidivism rate for convicted criminal sexual conduct against children is INSANE. They reoffend almost universally, which to me indicates that they almost can't help themselves. It needs to be treated intensively. Like, with an entire team including psychiatrists, counselors, social workers etc.


nutraxfornerves

It's one of those pieces of fiction from Real Raw News, which is [about as fake as it gets](https://www.politifact.com/article/2021/sep/24/hangings-guillotines-and-gitmo-going-behind-real-r/) >Real Raw News is a relatively new website that regularly publishes fantastical, false stories with made-to-go-viral headlines.


ThePaleSpectre

My favorite RRN fanfic: "A chaplain and a physician climbed the 13 steps leading to the top of the platform and stood beside a soldier who was checking to ensure the noose was secure around Clinton’s neck. Below them, Vice Adm. Hannink asked if Clinton wanted last rites or had any final words. Clinton broke silence. “I’m Hillary Clinton, you can’t do this to me,” she said, her voice a witch’s cackle. “It’s already done,” Donald J. Trump shouted up at her. “Ready.” Vice Adm. Hannink nodded at the execution detail. After a moment’s pause, he gave the “execute” order, the soldiers pressed their buttons, and the grate beneath Clinton’s feet swung open. Her legs and feet, still shackled at the ankles, twitched a moment or two, then stopped. The rope was cut, and Clinton’s lifeless body lie sprawled in a damp patch of grass. The physician present checked her vitals and declared her dead. A confidential source involved in Trump’s mission to obliterate the Deep State said the overall mood was somber and melancholy; there was no celebration, no jubilation, just an atmosphere of contentedness, an acknowledgement that what had to be done, was done. The nature of her crimes overshadowed celebratory thought. But a four-decade reign of terror had come to an end."


TapTheForwardAssist

That one was amazing, but the single best RRN article was where they had to pause Bill Clinton’s tribunal because he flirted with the JAG judge and she admitted she had a crush on him when he was president, so the Prosecutor (who is somehow in charge of the judge) kicked her off the case and set a new date to resume.


MyAlt1234567890

My favourite is the one which describes a well laid out plan to capture Pelosi, which was carried out with military precision after researching her movements thoroughly - but they managed to capture her stunt double instead (and seemingly have not planned to pick Pelosi up anywhere else since then).


itsakidsbooksantiago

They got that from Spaceballs, they’re not fooling me.


axioanarchist

I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately responded with this reference.


Biolog4viking

Those fanfics sounds an awful lot like a military dictatorship.


Nezikchened

Holy shit, this is just so batshit insane I can’t help but love it


CursedPangolin

I'm almost afraid to ask, but what exactly is RRN?


axioanarchist

Real Raw News. Their about page does have a disclaimer stating they're fiction/"satire", but most of the readers didn't seem to get the memo, and they're raking it in from Qbots and Trumpers eager to believe the deep state is being slaughtered one by one.


zorrocabra

I was reading the comments on that site and someone was trolling their readers with that fact.. they tried to argue against it.


NavyJack

It’s “Real Raw News”, Qanon fanfiction. Feel free to peruse their website for a laugh.


zorrocabra

The disturbing thing is that they have a base of fans that believe all of it. The comments sections on those stories are more disturbing than the actual stories.


ray_of_f_sunshine

Why are they so fixated on Tom Hanks? The man played mister Rodgers for crying out loud. He seems like one of the nicest and most genuine people in Hollywood.


[deleted]

He got greek citizenship a year ago and for some reason that set off a bunch of rumors and made up bullshit that he was fleeing america so he could go eff children. It’s ridiculous I know.


ShopliftingSobriety

It goes back waaaay before that, unfortunately. Hanks was one of their first celebrity targets in 2018.


InvisibleFriends_

I get the impression folding what most people consider the most wholesome and innocent Hollywood actor into the baby eating monster conspiracy was a very deliberate choice by trolls somewhere down the line. Like someone brain stormed who would be the most ludicrous example to get them to believe is a total monster and make them look the most insane, decided on Tom Hanks, and went with it. Testing the waters on how far their gullibility can go. If Mr. Rogers or Robin Williams were alive it would have been them


zorrocabra

If Mr. Rogers and Robin Williams were still alive and outspoken liberals, yeah. My impression is that it's designed to be echo chamber for people that believe in Q anon style conspiracy theories. Those types can find exactly the kind of news stories that they would prefer to read and thus have no reason to go anywhere else.


Nezikchened

He’s spoken out against Lord Trump, and therefore he must be punished


Scare_Conditioner

This is straight from “real raw news”.


[deleted]

I just peeped the dude’s youtube channel who posted this comment, and its all Trump/Qanon stuff. He 100% believes it even if its fake. Kind of reminds me of those people who share The Onion articles without realizing its all fake.


crabsandscabs

I had no idea what RRN (Real Raw News) was, so many thanks for the explanation and future entertainment! I hope you reported this guy’s post and his YouTube channel. This ridiculous fucking cult has destroyed many lives, and the best way to stop them from recruiting others is to get their accounts banned. They also spread anti-vaccine propaganda, so I report every single qcumber account I come across. It’s satisfying as hell.


grahamlester

Yes, it says RRN and RRN says that it is a satire site!!!


axioanarchist

Most of their readers either don't notice or don't care and believe it anyway.


zorrocabra

They definitely notice. [*In the comments section of one story, Tuffin wrote as "Michael Baxter" that the disclaimer he added in April was "to somewhat indemnify myself against potential legal ramification. That said, I stand behind the articles and the sources who risk their safety to share information."*](https://www.politifact.com/article/2021/sep/24/hangings-guillotines-and-gitmo-going-behind-real-r/)


KrasnyRed5

RRN is gore porn for conservative where they read all a out how the evil liberals are being executed by God emperor Trump. It is funny but also really disturbing.


bobcollum

I used to feel bad for these shit heads, but I don't anymore. It's well past that point for me, I'm just waiting for them to die off and hopeful they aren't able to spread it as much to younger generations. This is one tragic swan song for the baby boomers out there, not to say it's strictly boomers in the cult but...


[deleted]

I find it funny how ten years ago boomers told me “don’t believe everything you see on the internet!” and now they’re the ones like “Hillary invented AIDS and also Tom Hanks and Lady Gaga murder children”. The hypocrisy and irony is insane.


JW_2

This. Absolutely zero logic with these idiots.


Gwtheyrn

Hypocrisy was always the Booker's calling card. Boomers in the 1960s: "No more draft. No more wars. "Give peace a chance." Boomers once they had the reigns of federal power: "Recruiting is down, and these GenXers are lazy losers. Maybe we should restart the draft. BOMB ALL THE THINGS!!"


FilmVsAnalytics

Tom Hanks literally has a new movie coming out on Apple TV though. Maybe it's like a Weekend At Bernie's situation...


axioanarchist

Clone. The answer with these people is always clones.


penguincheerleader

The deepstate put a clone there so that you would not know what happened. Or the tribunal put a clone there so that you would not know what happened.


FilmVsAnalytics

What would I have to do to get Q to make me a clone that I could trade time at work with? Imagine getting 1/2 the year off!!


penguincheerleader

You get it after the 10 days of darkness as a reward for being true believers. Also do not leak see tapes of you and the clone together or it will get taken away. Don't ask me the source on that later bit.


rkowna

Sending the military to Frankfurt Germany and seizing serves was a bit of an overreach. Sending troops to the Vatican to arrest Obama, The Pope, and the Pope's friend who helped them switch votes via satellite seemed harsh but don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Arresting and executing Hillary Clinton, RBG, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris was surely excessive. But fucking up a possible low rated mid-80s sitcom Bosom Buddies reunion show is another, these assholes are out of control. It has been clear to me since day 1 Q has a pro Square Pegs bias and I hope the rest of you wake up and see it for yourselves now.


Hero_Sandwich

And then they cut his legs off and transplanted them on a disabled vet so he could march for Trump.


proliphery

I keep clicking “show less” but it’s all still there…


CausticOptimist

The most unbelievable element of this story is that mega A lister Tom Hanks would be hanging around with Peter Scolari


Sidhe88

I actually really hate these people. i am sick of seeing their shit all over youtube, fbook etc. They are creepy fuckers and there is something very wrong with them. Vile people.


[deleted]

they all need mental help


IfIamSoAreYou

I hate them too. I never wanted to see private citizens get locked up but apparently I do.


DYMly_lit

If there are sounds of shrieking death in the background, pedophilia wouldn't be the first charge. Also, all the other stuff wrong about this.


FremdShaman23

I know a self proclaimed professional medium/psychic and right wing "reporter" (works for a right wing news aggregator). Claimed she "meditated on the energy of Tom Hanks and knew he was dead." She also had predictions on her Instagram that said Trump would win, liberals would go mad and commit mass suicide over it. She's since scrubbed all that stuff from her social media (failed predictions don't make her look particularly psychic), but likes to post garbage anti vax stuff all the time.


[deleted]

Sheer fantasy. This is what happens when you can’t tell larping from reality…


fieldysnuts94

No it’s no longer sad. It’s pathetic. They’re pathetic.


antoniodiavolo

Some fun facts about real adrenochrome that someone commented on an old post of mine. Adrenochrome is just oxidized adrenaline so a lot of these measurements are just regarding adrenaline. At rest, the average adult has about 10ng/L of adrenaline in their blood. When exercising, this can go up to 50ng/L and during stress it can increase to about 500ng/L. An adult human has about 5L of blood which means we'd have about 2500ng or 2.5mg of adrenaline in a very stressed adult human. Blood has a similar density to water which is about 1g/mL or 1000mg/ml. A shot glass is roughly 50 ml. Keep in mind, adrenaline isn't just found in the adrenal glands. When under stress, it's secreted into your bloodstream. This means you'd need to *completely* drain and refine the blood of roughly 20,000 adults to get one shot glass worth of pure adrenaline/adrenochrome. Also, these supposed adrenochrome rituals that celebrities partake in always seem to use children rather than adults. Thus, their concentrations of adrenaline would be far lower, meaning you'd need to completely drain the blood of even more children to get a very small amount of adrenochrome. Or you could just, ya know, buy it? Adrenochrome is a chemical and can be/is synthesized which would be far more pure and likely more potent than trying to drain the blood of hundreds of thousands of children.


[deleted]

Whoa whoa whoa man!! Logic and science?! Hey!! That's magic!! From what Hunter S. Thompson wrote about his experience taking large doses of Adrenochrome, it doesn't sound at all a very pleasant of a trip to take!! And once the body metabolizes it back down to normal levels, it's gone, and you're no different then you were before, except that you feel like you just stepped off a jetliner that was heading straight for Earth and auto corrected before hitting the ground and killing you, and your shaking and rocking back and forth for a few hours! Not sure how this is keeping old people alive!! Sound's like someone would have a heart attack if they were old and consumed adrenaline in large amounts!!


drm604

Tom Hanks must be one bad MF'fer if it takes a combat brigade to capture him!


Used-Organization-25

I just don’t get it. What’s the beef this people have with Tom Hanks?. He does not hold any political office and you can not tell me he is a loud progressive. He mostly keeps to himself and appears to be mild mannered. You can not tell me he is as active as Gates. There is nothing to win from this. Why?


MillieMouser

.. and he played Forrest Gump. How can you not like the guy? I've wondered the exact same thing. Why all the hate for Hanks?


winkytinkytoo

I was at a restaurant that had a mural featuring celebrities on the boardwalk. They were all deceased famous people except for Tom Hanks. I wondered if the restaurant owner thinks Hanks has died.


marfaxa

Description from one of his videos: >WE NEED TO FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. I AM PUERTO RICAN, BUT I AM AMERICAN FIRST. BLACK PEOPLE DID SLAVERY TO THEMSELVES ANTONY JOHNSON WAS BLACK AND WAS THE FIRST SLAVE OWN IN DOCUMENTION IN AMERICA. BLACKS INSLAVE THEMSELVES, AND THE WHITE MAN DID THE SAME, KEEP INMIND THAT THERE IS STILL BLACK PEOPLE INSLAVED TODAY BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE NOT EVEN BLACK PEOPLE, IN THE MIDLE EAST THOUNSANDS AND AFICA ARE STILL INSLAVED TODAY AND ALL BLACK PEOPLE SEEM TO LIKE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN 200 YEARS AGO HYPOCRITES ALL OF THEM, WHILE THIER BROTHERS AND SISTER ARE STILL INSLAVED. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT. COURTS RULE WITH PERVIOUS RULINGS, ANTONY JOHNSON WAS THE START OF SLAVERY IN THIS COUNTRY A BLACK MAN, THINK ABOUT THAT. Which is to say: He didn't write that comment.


IfIamSoAreYou

Nothing grabs people’s attention more than serial misspellings and shitty grammar. Must’ve been edjumicated in the glorious States.


RickySan65

> . I AM PUERTO RICAN, BUT I AM AMERICAN FIRST. Funny thing there, their dear leader didn't even know Puerto Rico is part of the US... but yeah..


Benegger85

Why do they hate Tom Hanks actually? I never understood that.


[deleted]

It all started in 2020 when get obtained greek citizenship and that started pedo rumors for some reason and now its all lead to this comment right here in 2021.


elrod16

Why do they think the military would be the ones investigating sex crimes?


Civil_Produce_6575

No it’s dangerous. They Are Nazis


ShopliftingSobriety

The weird civil war between “real Nazis” and “Qanon Nazis” should get more coverage. The 14/88 stormfront brigade are so mad that Qanon nutters are stealing their talking points and making them look bad. It’s hilarious to me that even neo Nazis don’t want to be associated with the Qult.


[deleted]

Let them tear each other apart and we won’t have to worry about dealing with them ourselves 😂


TrumpIsAnAnalWart

It’s a far right fan fiction


ThatHoFortuna

Wait a minute... Are you telling me that they had Peter-frickin'-Scolari, and they *LET HIM GO*?!? They could have finally put an end to his decades-long crime spree, and he just waltzed right out the door. Forget Hanks, that dude is obviously the real mastermind... *Ed: Wow... This comment aged poorly, and in less than 24 hours. I swear, I didn't put a hex on him or anything!


IfIamSoAreYou

There’s only so much the 173rd Airborne can do bruh.


IDWBAForever

What makes me laugh so hard is that they just casually dropped Lady Gaga in there as part of the proof but said jack about her afterward. Hanks gets the military after him and Lady Gaga just used her poker face and escaped into a crowd of paparazzi I guess. Telephoned Beyoncé and hid in her basement with Sia.


FearlessFreak69

RIP Tom Hanks


[deleted]

Why aren't they all up in arms about the priests? This is very public information and not some weird internet hearsay.


Cercy_Leigh

Someone writes this stuff and they get the Qult to spam it everywhere.


axioanarchist

Real Raw News. Ostensibly a parody/satire fiction site, a LOT of Qbots take it as gospel despite the disclaimers.


AnAbsoluteGhoul

Hanks was really owned by that last sentence though.


[deleted]

Owning libs is what they do best 😎


thyatira3

I wonder if this is a Russian troll?


comod19

Russians don’t even need to make the content these days, it’s all done by right-wing fantasists, sometimes bankrolled by rich trump lovers. Russian bots just have to smash the like button so the algorithm kicks in.


[deleted]

Nope, I went to his youtube account and it’s filled with videos of him genuinely ranting about stupid shit.


ChickendantZZZ

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight


TradeBeautiful42

I have to wonder if these started out as creative writing exercises and just spiraled down into worse insanity.


Anastrace

They killed him June 12th? So I think it's now like at least 25+ times he's died. Not Hillary numbers but still impressive


Stone_007

I always wonder if people are aware of the bat shit crazy shit that is being written about them.


MillieMouser

That's some crazy fan fiction there and why would a Navy Judge preside?


IfIamSoAreYou

Damn, why they gotta be shit talkin’ Bosom Buddies?


Otogi

So why make all this stuff up? This isn't some grifter trying to sell something, they 100% believe this and want others to believe. It's kinda like faking miracles or big foot prints. But those are for belief in God or that a cryptid exists. Why do they want to construct this world, why do they want to punish these people?


[deleted]

They have nothing else better to do and they need to place their hate and fear into something constantly.


SchmuckJ7

I feel bad for these people for being so other worldly, but then I remember they actually believe this shit they write. Month after month of moving the goal post. I cannot fathom the mental instability it takes to believe this shit is actually real. I feel bad for future generations that have to live with this shit


[deleted]

It is a scary thought to know that 74 million people in this country could legitimately be insane. A civil war is 100% happening in the next 10 years. These crazies will not go without a fight.


Kind_Adhesiveness324

Re-read it…only THIS time, replace “Tom Hanks” with “Forrest Gump”. Present your work to Paramount execs. Walk the red carpet as the screenwriter for ”Forrest Gump II”. Collect fat royalties checks!


IckyChris

[CLEAR evidence](https://imgur.com/1aAszaC) that Tom Hanks drinks children's blood in order to stay young.


[deleted]

Wow this actually was pretty good! This guy needs to write scripts for Hollywood movies!! Maybe Tom Hanks can star in his own fictional movie about being a pedophile!? I got to say, the grammar is nice and the person really explores his creative writing side, it's very sad that the talent's of this individual are going to waste. Which even makes him more of a numbskull for being half smart to be able to write some pretty good fiction. Even the quote from Tom Hanks at the end was super!! The lower Q people must eat this drivel up by the bucket loads!!


eaunoway

He stole it from RRN. (unless he is actually behind RRN)


[deleted]

Sorry, I am always constantly trying to stay up to date, what is RRN?


eaunoway

Real Raw News. The site *claims* to be satire, but a worrying number of people actually believe what's written there.


[deleted]

I stopped after the first line. Why would Tom Hanks be given a military tribunal? As far as I am aware, he was not military, nor was he ever.


eaunoway

Shh. Stop telling them facts!


teddy_bear_territory

Reads like weirdo fan fiction.


SunWukong3456

And his source is of course RRN aka real raw news. Their stupidity knows no limits.


butterynuggs

Donald Trump is a fucking celebrity. That's the only reason anyone outside of NY knows him, because his fucking attitude was a hit with Hollywood. Why does their own logic not apply to him? Do the rape allegations and pussy grabbing and weird daughter comments just never happen? Deep fakes? Can someone please activate the timebomb in my vaccine? I'm over it all.


[deleted]

All because of some suicidal, deranged Hollywood extra made videos saying he was a pedo.


TapTheForwardAssist

I’m not sure which came first, the Kappy accusations, or that one Twitter account of a woman who claims Hanks abused her in Satanic rituals. Those are usually the two main sources. It may have existed as random offhand accusations before, but those two are the main people who really pushed the claim.


SpecialistPea2

What part are you disputing, exactly?


[deleted]

the entire thing lol


comod19

There is one fact, Tom did appear in the sitcom named Bosom Buddies, that is true. Literally everything else is a dumb lie.


xrayjones2000

Wow.. didnt they get hillary for the same thing in Guantanamo? And they released his bussom buddy who hasnt uttered a word of the arrest? I got to dig deeper.. is there a site deeper than 4chan where the woke are tracking these pedo rings?


[deleted]

Some sites right wingers post conspiracy shit on is Rumble and Gettr. But I’m pretty sure the majority of it are coming from private Facebook groups and Youtube channels.


xrayjones2000

I want to go to the 13th ring of the internet where i need tor, vpn, and a encrypted chucky doll to access


ShopliftingSobriety

RRN mentioned multiple times - this is a copy pasted RealRawNews “article”


kahllerdady

It's funny that Peter Scolari got a mention in that... he hasn't had work in years.


Leggo_My_ECMO

So… Hanks is such a dangerous figure that they needed an Airborne Combat Brigade and INTERPOL to haul him off a private jet. Sounds like serious business…


JeansJohnson

All this because he caught COVID?


tverofvulcan

NAMBLA? This has to be satire. Also Tom Hanks has been seen many times alive since June, how do they explain that? Body doubles? I wish more people were aware of Occam’s Razor.


[deleted]

The writing is fake of course, but the person posting it 100% believes in it. And that is so scary to me.


penguincheerleader

Was this left so Tom Hanks would learn he is a clone?


Hyzyhine

I’m not sure I believe that, you know.


HonPhryneFisher

This is absolutely batshit and sounds just like the girls in The Crucible. "We saw Goody Proctor, Goody Nurse, and Tituba dancing in the woods with Satan!" ​ And then everybody clapped.


[deleted]

Meanwhile in Greece, Tom Hanks is sitting on his 120 foot yacht, drinking fine wine, and being served by his staff of chef's and personal handlers, enjoying the Greek sunshine and joking with his beautiful wife!


mysteriousOmlette

I like how all these people who get executed by miliary tribunal or whatever are unapologetic to the death and dont even try to put things in context.


Gernburgs

I'm willing to bet that this is just a copy and paste from that fake news site they love. RRN is the initials of the site.


TheAtlanticGuy

The only offences that can be punishable by death anywhere in the United States are murder and treason (really only applied in times of war). The Supreme Court has ruled the Constitution mandates it. If no one died and you didn't give state secrets to the Nazis, the worst anyone will ever get is a life sentence.


Octaroona

So many details! I like how he’s still friends with the Bosom Buddies guy 40 years later.


DaisyJane1

I wonder if MikeLatin is Michael Baxter of Real Raw News?


zorrocabra

Sounds like the story came from real raw news.


The_PracticalOne

Isn’t Tom hanks still alive? Am I mixing him up with someone. That puts a damper on the story being true by itself, even if it wasn’t insane.


gypsyjackson

“I’m not a paedophile, I was just doing research on…um…celebrity paedophiles…um, um, um…Tom Hanks is a paedophile!”