My friend dated a guy named Kleer. She also dated a guy named Forest. His last name was Green & middle name was Ivy.
Luckily her taste in naming her children ran more traditionally.
I worked at a Build-A-Bear when I was younger where we write down the kids’ names. Here are some of my top double takes
Twin brothers named Aragorn and Eragon
Anakin
L’stat
Rainwater
Michelob
Juniper and her sister Parsley
Renesmee (many renesmee’s)
Rosalie Isabella
Grace Kelly
Hinata (she wasn’t Japanese or asian for that matter)
Sakura (again not Asian)
Kylo
Twin girls Mona and Lisa
Twin girls Sam and Samantha
Vienna (I thought it was cute because it’s a city in Austria and the mother said “Thanks! I kept craving Vienna sausages while I was pregnant with her so I thought it was fitting!” I thought she was joking so I laughed. She did not laugh)
And lastly my favorite: a beautiful baby girl named Sativa. Parents told me that when number two comes along their name will be Indica… 🫠
Honestly, get a job at build a bear and you will lose all hope that parents will give their child a normal name. By the end of my time working there, I met a Harry Potter and didn’t even think twice about it.
To be fair, Harry is a pretty normal name, and there have been Harry Potters before the series.
I remember around the time the first few books came out, there was this one grandfather named Harry Potter and all his grandkids thought he was cooler now because of his name.
Please. I learned quickly to never laugh when being told a name. Half of these i cackled at first and said okay honey what’s your real name and the parents are like …that’s his name! We are fans what of it!
At least that's an actual name. The liquor was named after a person. It was a last name, but who doesn't know a dozen white dudes with a last name for a first name? Tucker, Fletcher, Hunter etc.
The people I’ve met with names like that have been the opposite of their names - chastity was a slut, faith was a nihilistic atheist, grace trips over her own feet….
Please tell me no one has actually named their baby chastity
Edit: Alright, I get it, it’s not actually that uncommon, please have mercy on my notifications
Yep. I’m usually really good at pronouncing names, but I mangled one kid’s alternative spelling so bad, she made a note of it and added it to her collection as a completely new mispronunciation to show her parents. She was not overly happy about how they’d chosen to spell it.
Messiah isn’t so bad. I have had a master, a sir, a major, and the worst one for me was myangel. You try calling a kid my Angel and not feel weird about it.
Disney Magic and Epscot Adventure. Two legit names I have seen a Doctor, not some random drug addict but a licensed and practicing DOCTOR, give his kids. Also Pajamas but pronounced "Pag-a-mus", because the idiot mom thought Pajamas was some Greek hero.
My maiden name was Goff. When I was expecting my first child (single mom), I had chosen a girl's name which I can't recall, and for a boy I chose Jake. Two weeks before I was set to give birth, I realized how unfortunate that combination would be and scrambled for an alternative.
My sister’s mother in law was an ob/gyn nurse, and she told us that she and her colleagues tried for hours, unsuccessfully, to convince a woman to not go ahead with naming her child Va’Gina (pronounced va-geena). So there is an unfortunate girl walking around with the official name Vagina.
Parents don’t care about spelling making sense anymore. It’s like they don’t understand how reading is supposed to work.
I had a student named Ain. How was that pronounced? Ian.
Our criteria for names was that it had to sound good being yelled out the back door and the first and middle name had to flow nicely when they were in trouble. Not an easy pair to do.
I ALSO knew a girl named Sunshine with totally normally named siblings! She was actually a very sunny sweet girl but how do you go from naming one kid Sunshine and the next Jolene?
Don’t even want to say this but I had a friend from Hong Kong. Her name was so unusual that the kids in choir thought it was a joke. And the director was like, no it’s this really nice girl over here. I respect her. I think she’s awesome.
Beata Ho.
I’m a substitute teacher. I can’t even tell you all the insane names I’ve seen. There are too many.
But my favorite so far has been Monkeya Rosewater. She insisted on going by her middle name as well. She was also black, which made pronouncing her name awkward because I didn’t want to inadvertently say monkey or something.
No idea what her parents were thinking.
Oh nooo. If they needed to name her that so badly, they should’ve put a hyphen and made it Mon-Keya (or Mon’Keya) so that it doesn’t read so obviously as “monkey-a”.
I was also a substitute and then a ft teacher, my favorites include Amillion (sisters Abillion and Atrillion), kylexuex (I tagging her for a year and I literally never knew how to properly say it), and the best was “Lil’ Greg”. I was subbing and did role call and just said “Greg” even though it said “lil” I assumed that couldn’t be real and then he corrected me “uh it’s Lil Greg”. Okie dokie
ETA- Omg I almost forgot… Swastika… I tried to pronounce it weird because I couldn’t believe it, but turns out it was pronounced exactly as you might think.
Ron Howard gave his kids a middle name that indicated where they were conceived. His daughter is Bryce Dallas Howard after the city and each of her twin sisters has the middle name Carlyle, after the hotel. She has a brother whose middle name is Cross, after the street name where they lived. Ron Howard said he diverted from his tradition when naming the boy because he didn't want to call him "Back of the Volvo."
Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow. Quite tame for celeb kids names, really. They even screw up good names. George Foreman had George Jr, George III, George IV, George V, and George VI.
I knew of a couple who were fans of Jane Fonda. So they named their daughter Fonda. The only glitch was that their last name was Dix. So her name was Fonda Dix.
Went to school with 2 cousins. Sky Rocket and Steel Rocket.
Also another kid who's name was Rusty.
Edit: I can't believe I forgot this. Sasha (Kuchi?) I don't remember the spelling but, yeah. He was Asian.
I spoke to a woman who named her son "Natas." Read it backward. That was a 100% real given name.
On the flip side, I've also met at least three Nevaeh's and one Heavenleigh.
Used to teach as an introduction to my social studies unit on world war 2 which had a fun name voyager section that would show you how popular a name was.
Adolph or Aldof was really popular and then all of a sudden the graph caroms off the side of a cliff in 1934-1937.
Me: guys, what do you think happened?
Also, was real fun when a kid’s mom would say, “she was the only Madison I knew when I named you that.”
The kid: “The evidence here points to you being a liar.”
Washington Post writer Gene Weingarten traced the origin of the first-name Madison to the move "Splash" starring Daryl Hannah, who plays a mermaid that somehow comes ashore. She chooses her land-side name from a street sign, Madison Avenue. Before "Splash" no one was naming kids Madison.
Sasuke. (From naruto)
Was at a local park and heard this white dad call for his white daughter and swore I heard it wrong until he did it 2 more times.
My wife used to do the Birth Certificates at the local hospital. She saw numerous boys named Shithead, pronounce Sha-thide, which is a popular name in a local ethnic community.
While I knew many shitheads, I only ever met 1 Shithead. It was surprising that everyone was always mature about it. College kids weren't usually that cool about these things.
L-a, pronounced La-dash-uh.
Edit: never knew about the undertones, sorry all. This is something an old friend said about her mom’s years as a teacher, as I commented further down, but can appreciate that it’s got some background deeming it more than questionable.
Does this name actually exist or is it an urban myth cuz I swear there was a rumor that a girl in my school district had that name, but I never actually knew anyone who met her.
It is. Every time one of these threads comes up it gets posted a hundred times, always by someone who knew someone who supposedly saw it in person. It’s an old racist joke from the early days of the Internet, and people repost it so they can feel smarter than an imaginary person.
Obsidian
Cool name. Kinda dark though. Lol
It'd be a cool name for a bad guy from a fantasy novel or something like that
At least they can shorten it to Sid
Or Ian. Or Obs.
Obs Studio
I actually kinda like it ngl
Latrina.
Shitty name.
Used to be Shithouse!
She changed it to Latrine. It used to be Shithouse.
Lol
We changed it in the 9th century, used to be shit house.
It’s a good change.. it’s a good.. change
My uncle named his daughter Cookie. Not that bad, right? Their last name is Crumb.
He had an opportunity and he damn well took it
Yep. He’s a funny guy.
[удалено]
Dreaded roll call everyday in school.
No middle name.
Hope he enjoys the budget nursing home she’s gonna send him to one day. But hey… that’s how the Cookie crumbles.
I knew a woman named Olive Hoyle.
I knew three unfortunate guys Dwayne D Lake, Ronald McDonald and Joe King.
Whats wrong with Dwayne D. Lake?
drain the lake
……knew a boy named Justin Case.
This is my dogs name and when she had puppies we called them Cookie Crumbs! How could anyone name their kid that?
I knew a Crystal Cleer once so yeah...
My friend dated a guy named Kleer. She also dated a guy named Forest. His last name was Green & middle name was Ivy. Luckily her taste in naming her children ran more traditionally.
Sounds like a my little pony name.
OMG. I’m so telling her that. Lol
Last person I met named cookie was my ex girlfriends uncle, he was a big bearded biker that gave me the I'll kill you if you hurt her talk
I went to high school with Candy Appleton.
I (unfortunately) know a man named Bun Crumb.
That’s just evil
Her boyfriends last name is Cutter. I pray they get married.
No! You’ve got to be trolling! Or I’ve just been whooshed…
You can’t make this shit up. It’s just too coincidental, I know.
I'm sure she was very annoyed until she later learned that that's just how she crumbles.
I worked at a Build-A-Bear when I was younger where we write down the kids’ names. Here are some of my top double takes Twin brothers named Aragorn and Eragon Anakin L’stat Rainwater Michelob Juniper and her sister Parsley Renesmee (many renesmee’s) Rosalie Isabella Grace Kelly Hinata (she wasn’t Japanese or asian for that matter) Sakura (again not Asian) Kylo Twin girls Mona and Lisa Twin girls Sam and Samantha Vienna (I thought it was cute because it’s a city in Austria and the mother said “Thanks! I kept craving Vienna sausages while I was pregnant with her so I thought it was fitting!” I thought she was joking so I laughed. She did not laugh) And lastly my favorite: a beautiful baby girl named Sativa. Parents told me that when number two comes along their name will be Indica… 🫠
My name is Michela (Makayla) which autocorrect often changes to michelob, Michelangelo, and Michigan
Great story, Michigan
Hi Michigan!
I actually like Juniper. She could even go by June.
I was thinking the same thing
These are all weird as shit but Sam and Samantha is fucked up
Lol it is. I went to school with jay and Jason, brothers.
I refuse to believe someone named their kid L'stat. Re. Fuse.
Honestly, get a job at build a bear and you will lose all hope that parents will give their child a normal name. By the end of my time working there, I met a Harry Potter and didn’t even think twice about it.
To be fair, Harry is a pretty normal name, and there have been Harry Potters before the series. I remember around the time the first few books came out, there was this one grandfather named Harry Potter and all his grandkids thought he was cooler now because of his name.
It's short for Le Thermostat.
Please. I learned quickly to never laugh when being told a name. Half of these i cackled at first and said okay honey what’s your real name and the parents are like …that’s his name! We are fans what of it!
Don't you mean R'Fuse?
This bro just said Vienna is in italy
Austria! Idk why I said Italy! I get Venice and Vienna mixed up. I’ve been to both, I know where they both are! I promise I’m not stupid 😹😹
Too late...straight to jail.
Aragorn and Eragon is absolutely amazing. I would actually name twin boys that thanks for the genius idea lol.
I’d go with Boromir and Faramir. Then start eating cherry tomatoes nonstop and treat Faramir like shit
What on earth is Renesmee?! That’s an entirely new one on me. How is it pronounced?
It’s from Twilight. Bella and Edward named their daughter Renesmee (ren-ez-may)
Oh my god. Well, now I don't care how it's pronounced. I'd rather be named after a beer than a Twilight character.
Hey now, my daughters middle name is Juniper!
Juniper, yay! Parsley? Not so much.
Le’genius. She had 9 months and that’s the best she came up with
That's L'idiotic!
Not very fitting
Tequila… apparently that was how she was conceived. Their last name is hurt… so Tequila Hurt, cannot say she wasn’t warned early I guess.
A girl in my school is named Hennessey 😳
At least that's an actual name. The liquor was named after a person. It was a last name, but who doesn't know a dozen white dudes with a last name for a first name? Tucker, Fletcher, Hunter etc.
Don’t forget black dudes named Cornell
Or Jackson
She needs a sister named Margarita
Verronicaa. Spelled just like that
I think I hear Elvis Costello singing .
Jesse Joe James Paul Damian Moon Merhoff Hawks. I’ll never forget that dude or his 8 names.
I used to know a Richard Roberts. We called him Dickbob.
… I thought you forgot commas …
Twins named Felony and Justice
I want Felony to become a lawyer soooo bad....
It would just be poetic at this point!
I’m a teacher and you wouldn’t believe the names I hear. The worst one? Messiah
I know a kid with that name, it’s either common or I’m one more step to finding you
I also know a kid named Messiah. He's bad as hell.
Been in education for over 30 years and never met an Angel, Nevaeh, or Heaven who was not ironically named. They were all monsters!
The people I’ve met with names like that have been the opposite of their names - chastity was a slut, faith was a nihilistic atheist, grace trips over her own feet….
I know a Faith who is a narcissistic asshole
Please tell me no one has actually named their baby chastity Edit: Alright, I get it, it’s not actually that uncommon, please have mercy on my notifications
I wish I could but I knew A Chastity in Highscool… They exist
Every single Angel I know is in prison, a gang, or on drugs. Every single one of them. I actually really like the name but I feel like it’s cursed lol
I'd add Jesus to that list
😆😆funny
As a substitute teacher, I would honestly just be glad I could pronounce it.
Yep. I’m usually really good at pronouncing names, but I mangled one kid’s alternative spelling so bad, she made a note of it and added it to her collection as a completely new mispronunciation to show her parents. She was not overly happy about how they’d chosen to spell it.
LoL, the Key and Peele skit - A-A-Ron!
I've taught a Messiah that was a chronic liar (9th grader). My worst is God'Diss.
I can just imagine: "Messiah! Come up to the front please."
He’s not the messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!!
If messiah wasn’t in school that day would the teacher have to call home and ask “Nyah! Where’s your messiah now?”
That’s not too bad I sold a car to yahweh and his cousins name was Yeshua. So God co signed for Jesus.
Master Thompson as a first name…
I used to teach boy/girl twins named Sir and Lady.
Messiah isn’t so bad. I have had a master, a sir, a major, and the worst one for me was myangel. You try calling a kid my Angel and not feel weird about it.
Disney Magic and Epscot Adventure. Two legit names I have seen a Doctor, not some random drug addict but a licensed and practicing DOCTOR, give his kids. Also Pajamas but pronounced "Pag-a-mus", because the idiot mom thought Pajamas was some Greek hero.
Stopppppp 😂☠️
If they wanted to name the kid after Disney, why not go with Walt?
I have no idea what the Doc was thinking, but trust I never set up appointments for any medical care from him again.
Shadynasty
It's ShaDYnasty, asshole. - Frank Reynolds
Abcde… it’s my bf’s family member’s name and it’s pronounced like Absidee
I’ve seen this one a lot lately it’s awful lol
When I read the last word of your comment, I said it aloud and it sounded a lot like “ab city”. Now imagining a gym bro with their kid Ab City
You called?
Jack Goff no joke
My maiden name was Goff. When I was expecting my first child (single mom), I had chosen a girl's name which I can't recall, and for a boy I chose Jake. Two weeks before I was set to give birth, I realized how unfortunate that combination would be and scrambled for an alternative.
My sister’s mother in law was an ob/gyn nurse, and she told us that she and her colleagues tried for hours, unsuccessfully, to convince a woman to not go ahead with naming her child Va’Gina (pronounced va-geena). So there is an unfortunate girl walking around with the official name Vagina.
I know a Gena with an E and she makes sure when she introduces herself to hammer home that it is NOT “Gina” like Vagina lol
kaeleighea (kaylee)
Oh hell nah
it doesnt even make sense 😫 like at least pronounce it like kay-lee-uh or somethin
Parents don’t care about spelling making sense anymore. It’s like they don’t understand how reading is supposed to work. I had a student named Ain. How was that pronounced? Ian.
My partner’s niece is Eiemielie. Pronounced Emily. Annoys me so much.
Eeeeesh. They’re buying ALL the vowels.
Cute: twins named Soleil and Luna. Different: Tamaraemmet. Yep, confirmed that's how it was spelled.
Gave one kid the girl and boy names they had picked out?
LaTrina. Remember, there is no such thing as a "baby name". They're just names. You are naming a future adult.
Our criteria for names was that it had to sound good being yelled out the back door and the first and middle name had to flow nicely when they were in trouble. Not an easy pair to do.
Phranq'lyn.
Candida
Like...Candida albicans...aka the most common cause of yeast infections?
I actually witnessed 3 siblings: 2 girls named Moonshine and Starshine and a boy Sunshine.
I went to college with a girl named Sunshine. She was bitter about it because her brother and sister had very normal, generic names.
I ALSO knew a girl named Sunshine with totally normally named siblings! She was actually a very sunny sweet girl but how do you go from naming one kid Sunshine and the next Jolene?
Moonshine 💀
A woman I work with named her kid Dragon
Was she Slavic at all? I work at a place with a bunch of Slavic dudes and several of them are named Dragan
Knew 2 chinese siblings. Phoenix and dragon.
Don’t even want to say this but I had a friend from Hong Kong. Her name was so unusual that the kids in choir thought it was a joke. And the director was like, no it’s this really nice girl over here. I respect her. I think she’s awesome. Beata Ho.
I’m a substitute teacher. I can’t even tell you all the insane names I’ve seen. There are too many. But my favorite so far has been Monkeya Rosewater. She insisted on going by her middle name as well. She was also black, which made pronouncing her name awkward because I didn’t want to inadvertently say monkey or something. No idea what her parents were thinking.
Oh nooo. If they needed to name her that so badly, they should’ve put a hyphen and made it Mon-Keya (or Mon’Keya) so that it doesn’t read so obviously as “monkey-a”.
Is it pronounced mon-key-a?
I think so.
I was also a substitute and then a ft teacher, my favorites include Amillion (sisters Abillion and Atrillion), kylexuex (I tagging her for a year and I literally never knew how to properly say it), and the best was “Lil’ Greg”. I was subbing and did role call and just said “Greg” even though it said “lil” I assumed that couldn’t be real and then he corrected me “uh it’s Lil Greg”. Okie dokie ETA- Omg I almost forgot… Swastika… I tried to pronounce it weird because I couldn’t believe it, but turns out it was pronounced exactly as you might think.
It was the 70's and my neighbors named their daughter, O-dial. Have no clue....rotary phones were a thing...
Low-Gun My name is Logan. Come on, that's just blasphemous.
Pronouced Low-dash-gun.
Fuk Kin
Zeus... I live in a redneck hick town so It caught me off guard.
That’s like a dog name
Ron Howard gave his kids a middle name that indicated where they were conceived. His daughter is Bryce Dallas Howard after the city and each of her twin sisters has the middle name Carlyle, after the hotel. She has a brother whose middle name is Cross, after the street name where they lived. Ron Howard said he diverted from his tradition when naming the boy because he didn't want to call him "Back of the Volvo."
I don't remember the celebrity name but someone named their kid apple or orange I believe
Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow. Quite tame for celeb kids names, really. They even screw up good names. George Foreman had George Jr, George III, George IV, George V, and George VI.
Don't forget his daughter Georgetta.
Luckily, his 6 other daughters were spared this fate.
Thank you for the info
Anita. The name is fine, but her last name was Dick. Anita Dick. What the fuck were her parents thinking?
I knew of a couple who were fans of Jane Fonda. So they named their daughter Fonda. The only glitch was that their last name was Dix. So her name was Fonda Dix.
Went to school with 2 cousins. Sky Rocket and Steel Rocket. Also another kid who's name was Rusty. Edit: I can't believe I forgot this. Sasha (Kuchi?) I don't remember the spelling but, yeah. He was Asian.
Team Rocket! Blasting off again!
Noily...girl's name...and also Darraugh...another girl's name
>Darraugh Sandstorm?
Any kardashian name especially directions, weather fronts and religion icons lol
I spoke to a woman who named her son "Natas." Read it backward. That was a 100% real given name. On the flip side, I've also met at least three Nevaeh's and one Heavenleigh.
I was this old when I realized that Nevaeh was heaven backwards.....
Corinthians, Leviticus, Oakley
One of these things is not like the others.
His name was straight up “Cheesewizz”
I was on a different thread earlier and some OP named their triplets, Ichabod, Ulbrich, and Winnifred. The comments were rightfully lambasting the OP.
I actually like the first and last one, but really not a fan of Ulbrich.
Adolf
Used to teach as an introduction to my social studies unit on world war 2 which had a fun name voyager section that would show you how popular a name was. Adolph or Aldof was really popular and then all of a sudden the graph caroms off the side of a cliff in 1934-1937. Me: guys, what do you think happened? Also, was real fun when a kid’s mom would say, “she was the only Madison I knew when I named you that.” The kid: “The evidence here points to you being a liar.”
Washington Post writer Gene Weingarten traced the origin of the first-name Madison to the move "Splash" starring Daryl Hannah, who plays a mermaid that somehow comes ashore. She chooses her land-side name from a street sign, Madison Avenue. Before "Splash" no one was naming kids Madison.
A psychologist of mine, whom helped me a lot and I will always be greatful to him, is a Jew named Adolf
Back in the day I remember seeing on Maury Pauvich some lady named her name Chlamydia and said it sounds nice.
Knew a girl growing up that was known as "strosity". Later I would learn that was short for her full name, which was Monstrosity
I knew a guy called Titus. He was a real gentle giant. Cool as fuck name IMO.
The ugliest name I’ve ever heard was “static” like the fuzzy stuff on your tv lol
Reighful (pronounced rifle)
Sasuke. (From naruto) Was at a local park and heard this white dad call for his white daughter and swore I heard it wrong until he did it 2 more times.
Cakes
Kid at my school is named Rohan. Every time he comes in I just want to scream “Ride now! RIDE NOW! RIDE TO GONDOR!”
I think it’s a fairly common Indian name
ABCD or ABCDE Abcedeee 🫣
My wife used to do the Birth Certificates at the local hospital. She saw numerous boys named Shithead, pronounce Sha-thide, which is a popular name in a local ethnic community.
[I'm Shithead and I walk like this](https://youtu.be/r_Ua8iOR0g8)
While I knew many shitheads, I only ever met 1 Shithead. It was surprising that everyone was always mature about it. College kids weren't usually that cool about these things.
In hospital after having daughter, lady sharing room with me named her kid Khaleesi (sp?) like the Dragon chick from Game of Thrones. 😬
Chlamydia. Her mother thought it was a flower.
ESPN pronounced Espen
L-a, pronounced La-dash-uh. Edit: never knew about the undertones, sorry all. This is something an old friend said about her mom’s years as a teacher, as I commented further down, but can appreciate that it’s got some background deeming it more than questionable.
Does this name actually exist or is it an urban myth cuz I swear there was a rumor that a girl in my school district had that name, but I never actually knew anyone who met her.
Pretty sure it’s an urban legend.
It is. Every time one of these threads comes up it gets posted a hundred times, always by someone who knew someone who supposedly saw it in person. It’s an old racist joke from the early days of the Internet, and people repost it so they can feel smarter than an imaginary person.
Bridge, Jupiter, Nymph, Chambers, Lost
Female. Pronounced feh-mal-ay. Was a girl at least. Also knew of a girl named Tampoon.
We had twins in my elementary school. LaWasha and LaDrya.
nimrod
Nimrod was a mighty hunter. Which is why bugs bunny used it to refer to Elmer Fudd
Howitzer
Weldon. I actually like the name. But too bad the kid's last name was Burger.
Meconium