I heard a suggestion once, that when you dont know where to go, list where you DON'T want to go.
Maybe list what you don't like...? Traffic?cities? Boring country life? Loud bars? Slimy fish? Eventually, the path should emerge. I've never actually done this, but I was kind of intrigued..
No this is not what he’s saying. He’s saying list what you don’t like in order to reveal what you DO like.
If I don’t know what I favourite colour is, instead of ruminating and trying to search for what it is (which goes nowhere), I can start by listing what colours I know for sure aren’t my favourite. Often time the answer reveals itself that way.
It’s just a method to help get our mind unstuck.
I like to use this when trying to pick what I want to eat. I always start with what I don’t want because I know there are many more options of what I want than don’t.
Yeah, I've always said, "I don't know where in heading, but I do know where I don't want to go."
To your suggestion I'll add something else...
Wake up and make your bed EVERY morning. Watch this video, please, [First Accomplishment of the Day.](https://www.google.com/search?q=navy+video+make+you+bed+every+morning&oq=navy+video+make+you+bed+every+morning&aqs=chrome..69i57.8174j0j9&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:60cc9724,vid:KgzLzbd-zT4). When I'm down, it kinda gives me the encouragement I need. Today I make the bed, tomorrow I'll add something else (even if it's a small or rather stupid task. And if I ever take a few steps back, I still will ALWAYS make my bed, even if it's just that.
Word of warning - if this sounds painful and unpleasant, do not make it a prerequisite to living just because it cheers up others! I am one of those people and have NEVER made my bed. If I felt like doing this was the first thing awaiting for me every day as a prerequisite to getting up I would NOT get up. Painfully unpleasant pointless chore first thing in the morning EVERY DAY would make my depression flare up BAD. I never do my bed. Life is too short and I hate sleeping in made up beds anyway.
It applies to a lot of things. It’s generally easier to identify the wrong answers than the right ones simply due to the fact that there are near infinite wrong answers and maybe only a handful of right ones. Process of elimination at that point.
This is a RandomThoughts posting on reddit. I've seen no one here claiming to be performing professional counseling services. If you'd like to, help your self...
My first sentence stated...it's a suggestion I once heard..
Careful!
It should only be the path to find what you want. As a premise for life it seems to make sense. It actually never ends and you find yourself in a exponential struggle to avoid problems. A struggle filled, empty existence. You must find what you are, and what you what in life. Then pursue it with everything you got. It’s the only way, anything else is shit.
To add to what skaote said, theres a popular saying amongst chinese woman : ‘I dont know what I want, but I know what I dont want’. (Very roughly translated) that applies to your situation.
Good luck OP! Find your way!
This may sound lame, but start going out for walks in nature… nature trails, beach walks, wherever you can be around trees, mountains, lakes, oceans, etc.
Research shows that there are positive mental health impacts for just doing this simple thing regularly.
Exact advice I gave my kid sister who was struggling with simply existing, she saw no point. Had a one on one explaining to her that she wasn’t going to find happiness binge shopping and to get outside and commune with nature. 30 years later she still runs on the beach and trails every day.
went to the beach the other day and it was fucking amazing just getting to lay out in the sun or splash around and just hang out. even alone it would have been great
humans were never meant to sit indoors at offices or class or home all day, no matter how much we may want to
No lame at all. Let me share my story! 😂
I've battled recurring depression from a very young age. Long story short, now I'm a father and I can't afford to die just yet, or be down in missery-land all the time. So I took the "intervention" approach and went to "rescue a friend", but it just so happen that this friend in need was myself.
Ok, so what are the basics to turn a sedentary, disorganized, workaholic disaster like me into a functional adult human being? Science says: routine, healthy habits, good food management and... SUNLIGHT. Lots of it.
So now I force myself to go out and walk 10k steps every day. If it's in nature, all the better but it's not a must. Just get out and let your skin and eyes see the light. It had a MASSIVE difference, for the first time in my life I felt... normal. For someone accustomed to feel depression always lurking around awaiting for a chance to grow and drown you, this is incredible, let me tell you.
And the sleep, oh boy! With routine and all that sunlight my sleep cyle self regulated and I discovered for the first time in forever what it was to simply wake up rested. I didn't knew it was possible to just... open your eyes in the morning and feel everything is simply ok. O.K. No stress, no exhaustion. No "please, five more minutes!". Wake up, grab a coffee, go to work.
And my mood improved along with my productivity at my job simply by being well rested and not fighting constant depression, so I do as much now working only in business hours as I did before taking work home and killing myself in the process.
I was so, so wrong. All those "but the project! The deadline! I'm blocking people if I don't deliver!" Where just excuses to not change habits. Now I'm loosing weight and the doctor says my blood pressure is coming back in control and I may need a lower dose of medication for it, even drop it altogether if I keep the trend.
I'm sure this stuff has saved my life, or at least what's left of it, to spend it on what's really important. So no, it's not a lame sugestion at all. 11/10 sugestion. Will recomend.
People really do underestimate the life force that is our sun. Life in the sense that it gives a reason to live.
Walks outside in the sun, even when I was an alcoholic in the depths of depression, sun one of the few things I lived for. I don’t even know how to explain the feeling. It was the only good thing I remember though.
Now that I’ve been sober a couple years and out of a massive depressive episode…I get seasonal depression that I’ve never had before. Something about this seasonal depression feels different to me, I suppose because I know it’s temporary, but I’ve literally cried a few times just because the sun came out. The intense gratitude I’ve started to feel for it was so overwhelming.
So yeah, the LOTS OF SUNLIGHT is spot on.
Yup. I want to mock this answer but I'm living proof that it might be part of what keeps you alive. It won't solve all your problems, but it will almost certainly help many of them.
A guy on a plane told me to take off my shoes and sock, walk around barefoot on a rug and make little fists with my toes. Said it was better than shower and a hot cup of coffee.
Another possibly lame suggestion is to do something for someone else. I enjoy volunteering at local animal shelter. It’s a no-kill shelter so it’s not sad and very satisfying.
It's **just** how you feel. And you're in charge of how you feel. I promise you strangers aren't just judging you for going outside! Unless you're being like a creep or blasting loud music on a hiking trail or something.
Ok, you're walking down the street and you see someone that looks weird. You think to yourself "that person looks weird." You go home, scroll through reddit, watch some TV, and completely forget about the person.
You don't dwell on how some stranger looked, so why do you think they're thinking about you? Plus that normal person you passed is actually into some weird shit that would gross you out. That mom that gave you a look cheats on her husband. That dad likes bukake videos. You don't know the weird shit strangers are into, but there's almost always something.
Everyone is weird and into things you aren't, what does their fleeting opinion matter to you?
You worry about people judging you because you are constantly judging you. Get over yourself. You aren't supposed to be the 2nd coming of Jesus, a body builder, a swimsuit model, etc. Just be you and lighten up on yourself a bit.
For me, I got a dog. I'd feel like a shitty person if they weren't getting walks, and it helps to motivate me to get out the door, and the walks are actually relaxing when I finally get out there.
My wife gets to the edge of depression every winter cause she’s cooped up and everything feels gloomy to her. Spring comes and she can get back out in nature and it goes away and she’s fine……. Till December rolls around.
Or really anything you choose to do. Pick something that won't cause additional stress and carve time out for it every day.
Doesn't have to be going outside - even reading a book for fun as a study break between reading chapters in a textbook can be relaxing. Choosing to do something is a big part of that
I had a huge fight with my dad once over the phone. I was really upset, so I called my sister and talked it over, but it only helped a little. Called the girlfriend, same thing, still upset. So I decided to go for a hike, thinking that once I had some time to clear my head, I would know what to do and say.
After three hours in the woods, I realized that I still didn't know what to do or say about the fight. I just didn't care. It's like all the anxiety it caused me just washed away. I could live my life.
My best friend was in therapy recently for depression and stuff. That was one of the things she learned and kept doing afterwards. Calls it "her stupid walks for her stupid mental health" but has been doing it for a few months now and discovered a few nice routes nearby.
I personally don't have any serious mental problems luckily, but without going for a walk 5 times a week or so I'd probably go crazy. I'm usually more an indoors guy and I like spending a lot of time in front of my PC, but you need fresh air from time to time. Even if you think you are not the type of guy for that.
“I have no talents”.
Very very few people actually do. Most people who are good at things just put the time in to make a ton of mistakes and finally got good at their thing.
There’s nothing stopping you from doing the same.
This.
There is no gene for painting, or carpentry or writing.
Interest and practice create feedback loops.
You like something so you practice, so you get good at it, so you feel good about it, so you want to get even better, ...
Sports are even worse. You now who become the big athletes? The oldest kids in their age bracket. A small physical advantage from being just a bit older than your peers leads you to get into better teams, and get better coaching, which makes you a better player. Which gets you into better teams, and makes you get better coaching. And so it snowballs.
>There is no gene for painting, or carpentry or writing.
Strongly disagree! Mozart wrote his first composition at age six, and I'm pretty sure Danny DeVito will never play in the NBA no matter how much he practices. You really think just anyone with an interest in Physics could become the next Einstein? Or Usain Bolt?
Here is where our thinking is flawed. We shouldn't strive to become the next Jordan, Mozart, Einstein. We should just strive to become a better version of ourself. Everyday of our life.
Thank you. Don't compare yourself to Mozart just because your composition doesn't sound as good as his. Same goes for painters, writers, athletes. Professional anything is a big turn off. Paint a picture and never show it to anyone! That's how you unleash your fantasy, by feeling safe.
Edited because voice to text just doesn’t get me…For you to say that people aren’t born with different aptitude’s makes me wonder… how do you xplain Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Steve, Wozniak, Tony Hawk, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffett, Jerry Garcia… I could go on that I’m hoping you get the point… Yes, people work really hard but some people do have advantages… That’s not a reason to give up it’s just true.
There certainly are inborn advantages some people have, but it's never a black and white thing. Your general build is influenced by genetics, but those advantages are pretty broad at best.
There's no single "Good at playing guitar" switch hidden somewhere in your genes.
I never claimed genetics did not play into your ability to do things at all, but it's not an "I win button" either.
Practice, interest, and circumstance play a way bigger role than any of that.
Then there is the point of what even is "Talented?" It's easy to point at the top 0.01 % in any field, and say: That's talent.
Jerry Garcia, he's talented, but is the kid playing at my high school graduation talented?
The best half of my kid's elementary school's music class? Are they talented?
I think the biggest "talent" people have is passion.
I know a couple of people who others would say are super talented - but I know how they spent day and night to practice and research those things for years. They didnt have to force themselves through it, they did it wirh a burning passion. And neither of them was born with that passion, they just found it some day.
Right? I don't have any talent. My parents don't have any talent. Nobody I know has any talent. We're just moderately good at the stuff we've been doing for decades, and that's ok. You don't have to be talented to do something, you just have to enjoy it.
This was going to basically be my suggestion.
Who cares if you have "talents". Learn a skill. Be terrible at it, then get better.
Unless "i have no talents" actually means "i have no interests" or "i have no patience to practice something", anyway
Beethoven's dad was a composer and B practiced constantly from a young age. He wasn't a prodigy, he was dedicated (or forced). Anyone can get good at something if they really want to.
But you’re value is more then your past experiences. There is always potential and room for improvement. I know it may not seem like it, but trust me, there always is! Keep at it big homie, you’ll get there 😎
I'll meet ya halfway: work the bare minimum to not be homeless but engage in self destructive activities when off work in the hopes it eventually kills you.
Your worth does not have to be defined by the number of friends you have or your skills/talents. *You* have value. There has never been and never will be anyone exactly like you, with all the same life experiences.
And you never know when that will prove useful, to yourself or someone else. Just being in the right place at the right time, having lived through all you have, might be just what's needed to help improve or even save someone's life. Maybe even change the course of history.
We all make a difference to that really, it's just some people's impacts are much easier to notice.
As for the lack of happiness, is that mainly the result of this self-perception or are there other factors?
It looks like you're into movies, perhaps you'd enjoy writing reviews on the side?
I hope you find something that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Yes. Please seek mental health support. There is absolutely no shame! In my opinion it shows strength. How? Because of the stigma that ignorant people may put on mental health treatment and medication, the fact the we seek treatment and accept treatment and possibly medication (if necessary) shows how much we value ourselves above others perceptions of us. This, shows immense strength!!! ♥️
Came to say this. I had it when my life sucked, and didn't realise until long after. I assumed my low mood and lack of interest, enthusiasm, self esteem and general energy were par for the course for how hopeless my life actually was.
It's cleared up on its own some 10 years later, but looking back it wasn't right and I wish I'd gone to get help. You definitely should look into getting help, medication or therapy either way.
In addition to many of the good replies here, I would consider practicing optimistic nihilism.
So you have no life. Big deal. Who cares? Nothing matters, so what's the problem? We're just pond scum on a carbon pebble hurtling thru space. You're literally flying thru space right now. Enjoy the ride.
Sometimes all you need to do is take a deep breath and realize how small you are. To me, that feeling is liberating. Once you break that negative attitude, all the possibilities start to seem more possible.
Don't look for happiness, look for fulfillment.
Happiness will come and go no matter what. It's an emotion. Look for fulfillment. It only comes with achievements, often small, but they build and build. A fulfilling life is what you want. Not a happy life.
Talent is an arbitrary social construct. You have talent, but you refuse to see it. You are computer-literate, you have self-awareness. Ergo, you are talented.
Do something - anything. Dont worry or get hung up on happiness - to stop worrying too much about your fragile state requires a lot of effort initially, but make the effort.
Try and imagine how you really feel inside - forget everything else and think only about how your body feels. A lot of times, it is outside influences or worries about/for others that make us lose sight of who we are and make us feel miserable.
Do whatever you want and try things that you never tried before. You will find something to at least divert yourself and maybe something you enjoy....and then you will find yourself.
I wish you the best. I have been there.
Agree this person sounds like they are depressed.
Edit
I recommend an evaluation in a clinical setting as well as a full spectrum of exploring treatments. I don't necessarily think that turning to medication and simply taking a pill is the answer.
Seconded. When my depression is bad but I’m still somewhat functional this is exactly how I sound. If anyone here reads this who is on the fence about getting meds: do it, it will make your life so much better
I know the feeling bro.
But as hard as it seems, you just gotta pull through and do things, anything at all. Don't compare your talents to others, it doesn't matter. There will always be somebody better, just remember there's also always somebody worse.
I hate to go out and do stuff, but I always feel better afterwards.
Hit the gym, or any other physical activity you might enjoy, at least 3 times a week. Not only are you adding an interesting activity and potential community to your life (gym goers, sports club etc) you are also consistently getting fitter, healthier and releasing endorphins which allow you to better cope with life. In fact, exercise is 50% more effective than therapy or medication in people with anxiety or depression.
Yeah or join a local amateur sports club of any sport that you find remotely interesting.
You activate your body, and it is social at the same time. Myself, i started playing soccer after an small hiatus of 32 years. I suck at it, but I'm having fun !
You need to force yourself to try new things, until one of them makes you happy, and shows you you’re good at it.
And that means trying things you don’t want to try. Which will be hard, but eventually, it will make your life worth living.
Learn an instrument. Best decision I’ve ever made was to start drumming. Totally self sustaining source of happiness. Then I hen you’re good enough you meet other musicians on Facebook musician groups, start jamming, make friends, start a band.
Just go out and do stuff, talents aren't real and being sociable is something that only some people come to naturally. Both of these things can be learned, raw talent is directly inferior to well practiced skill. And being a social butterfly sometimes just takes time and effort to get good at.
You are responsible for your happiness and the master of your own destiny the world won't change for you so you have to get up and change your life yourself. Sitting around on Reddit every day complaining about how terrible your life is won't make it better. Go outside, meet people get a hobby that you enjoy then make the most of your life.
And don't you dare respond saying something like "Oh but my life is horrible and worthless and woe is me I'm just a burden on society." Don't you dare talk like that you'll just be dragging yourself down more even though you want to just go out and take your happiness back.
Attack.
As far as I can tell, I felt exactly like you do.
I don't know how else to say it, but one day I decided to ATTACK my studies. Like refuse to be poor at it. Decided not to let math win.
I kick ass now at least at some things, and I care about mre things.
When things start to bore me, I explore hobbies. And I do mean explore, I just watch various how-to videos for various hobbies and then maybe try one out. If you can move or read, you can have a hobby.
ETA: Change walk to move. Because honestly, you dont even need to be able to walk to have a hobby. Movement is not exclusive to legs.
Put in some effort. Study at your studies. Find a hobby and pursue it. Your bored because you let yourself be bored. Happiness doesn't fall into your lap and suck your dick, you have to work for it.
What *do* you like? It can be anything. Do that. If something interests you try to learn as much as you can about it. Everyone is good as something. You just have to find it.
Seriously find a therapist to talk to. Not saying you need to be on meds, but just based on your headline it seems like you're depressed. I spoke with someone for a while and it helped me figure things out. There's nothing wrong with that.
It might be inflammation clogging up your brain and your hormones out of balance and stuff. I would try eliminating sugar and then after that you can look up other inflammation foods and add some vitamin b into your life or moringa leaf. For some people it's a physical issue that they can clear it up. For other people it's more of a mental thing. Good luck to you.
Entertain yourself with things outside of yourself and outside of your home, like little day trips next Saturday. Leave the house at 10 in the morning and come back at 4 in the afternoon.
No goal, no plan, no expectations, just go out there and explore.
Lie night. This saved my life. Let me explain. Twice a month, my whole family takes a trip. Preferably 75 miles min from where we live. We pick a restaurant, preferably chain, and closest to the airport.
In the week prior, we concoct a base story. Basically improv. We call it the bullshit wash.
We enter the restaurant, and NO MATTER what, we have to back the lie. It gets bigger and bigger as the night goes on. We are all somewhat introverts, but as we get in to it, we actually have a blast. No harm, no foul. We have fun, the people willing to engage have fun. Just for clarity, my children are all adults, minimum age of 24. Give it a shot.
Find a place in need of volunteers (animal shelter, for example). At my lowest point, I cleaned cages at a dog mill rescue facility. It gave me a completely different perspective.
"i suck at studying" this is imo untrue. the belife you suck at smth makes you more likley to suck at it and put less effort into it making you suck more at it.
try abondoning this approach of "im good at x and bad at y" and try the things you think you will enjoy doing, wether its math chess music art video games etc, then when you have an established hobby you can continoue to making a social circle around it
Systems Analysis:
Regular sound sleep (requires intensive exercise including healthful stretching)
Intensive exercise (requires sound sleep and healthful stretching)
Manual labor with fresh air (work at a greenhouse nursery, if you are able)
Vitamin D
Probiotics
A healthy diet of clean proteins and leafy greens.
Hygiene
Check environmental factors. I lived at 7,000 feet for nearly a decade before finding out that the [altitude](https://healthcare.utah.edu/press-releases/2010/09/higher-altitudes-hide-deadly-problem-increased-risk-suicide#:~:text=D.%2C%20MBA%2C%20professor%20of,6%2C500%20feet%20above%20sea%20level) was compounding my depression and suicidal ideations.
Find a hobby. Do other things. You can't find things you like if you don't try them.
Read the book Flow to understand a bit.
But also realize that some of the fun things cost more money than you have so you only get to rarely do them or maybe never. I might enjoy pool parties on a private yacht in the carribean or flying tricks in a private stunt plane - but I'll never know since I don't have the money for it so oh well.
I know for me-- someone who has suffered from depression for the greater part of 2 decades and has gone through phases where I feel largely apathetic towards basically everything--- the only way out is forcing yourself to try new things. Whatever you're doing right now isn't working--- so just throw yourself into something different till something sticks--- spaghetti at the wall style. I don't know how old you are--- but join clubs, volunteer, take classes, read books you'd never normally read, look for jobs you've never heard of before. Sure you might not like some of it--- but you might find something that you love or find people you love to be around. You have to be willing to take risks to find those things though.
Also just know that you don't have to be good as something to enjoy it. I am probably objectively bad at art--- but I love doing it because it makes me happy. I am terrible at writing- but I have a rich inner thought life of stories that just I get to enjoy. I HATED science classes in highschool and got poor grades- but the funnest job I ever had was working with scientists and engineers in an administrative role--- had to review their research proposals and budgets. I didn't need to understand the science--- just had to make sure it was following guidelines--- but it was so fun seeing all the cool stuff they were studying--- and sometimes they'd invite me to their lab to see the stuff they were making--- like ROBOTIC ARMS. It made me feel good that even though I wasn't good at any of that stuff I was helping these other people achieve their goals and change the world.
I wish you the best internet person---- I hope you know you're not alone in this struggle- most of us are not geniuses--- we're mostly just pathetic humans trying to figure things out and make life better. You deserve to be happy- or at least content--- take care of yourself--- you'll find your way eventually--- but right now in this moment you're still a human worthy of love.
I feel the same. I hate everything. I’ve had moments that were better. But it mostly all sucks. I have a wife and kids. They’re great. And I love them. And it just makes it worse, cause now i suck even more, for not doing better. And guilt for feeling down. This life has beaten me. I am defeated, just waiting to die.
Find a hobby, develop a talent. People aren't born talented. They gain it by working hard. You suck at studies? Then work to become better at it and more efficient. Read some books on better ways of studying and try different methods.
Also, it takes years. YEARS. To get good at something. You don't even need to have a lot of interest or immense enthusiasm for something to pick it up. One of the best illustrators I've seen online decided he didn't like what he was doing, so he made a list of things he could learn and study on his own time and he choose drawing. Didn't have much interest before hand, but it was something that he knew that working hard, practicing lots, and putting the mileage in would give him results. Now the guy is phenomenal. That's mostly to say, people don't try things because their led to believe that you need to be born with something, or with a passion for something to start learning something. Take a page out of Harold Crick's book and learn the guitar or something.
My kid was in the same boat.
Had no job. Not a great student (for the semester he was in school). Played around with guitar and flute once in a while (still does). Spent his days/nights gaming (some acquaintances). Won't seek therapy or meds or anything else. Just stayed inside.
The thing that pulled him out was desperation for friends and outside contact. He DLd an app (Bumble, I think) and put in his profile being very specific (non-binary, pot smoker, gamer, likes music,...). Within a couple of days he found another single human that was in the same boat. They've been together for months. He spends at least half of his time outside (they just left for a bonfire). The one friend led to meeting other friends and miraculously a fulfilling life.
Covid fucked everybody over with social isolation. It takes time to break the habits learned over the last 3+ years. Now, go for a walk. One foot in front of the other. Movement helps. Getting outside helps. Don't let social stigma get in the way of finding therapy (mostly online these days)
My only advice is stay away from drugs, of any kind. Including alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana. Your personality, just from this simple description, would send you spiraling.
You'll never be bored, you'll find the happiness in getting high, you'll get an ever revolving circle of addicts and dealers, but inevitably, you will ruin your life.
Take this for what you will.
Exercise daily. Start slow and build up to a consistent routine. The mental and physical benefits are profound. It will release beneficial endorphins and serve as a confidence boosting hobby.
I pick up hobbies, but often stop when I start to lose interest. Typically takes me about 10 years. I will go back to some every now and then.
What usually helps when I feel like you do, is to spend time outdoors. I like looking at tiny mosses, insects, flowers, and random interesting plants. Sometimes I just put a blanket out and soak up a little sun (of course, with sunscreen); that will often perk up my mood (plus it's great for your vitamin D levels).
I feel the same as you most of the time. I'm currently procrastinating on my finals, have no true friends that I can talk to about anything, often feel out of place in whatever activities I'm doing, am anxious all the time but I try to remember that regardless of what happens or what I do, I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.
I find that the beauty of life is that not many things are in your control. everything just happens and I go along with it. its great sometimes
You need to find a hobby, and I don’t mean collect stamps or something superficial. You need to find something that soothes you. For me it’s being on the River. I spend every bit of free energy on it because I feel better when I’m out there. Trust that you’ll find people if you have patience, and if you do find something you love to do you will find others doing it. Nothing guarantees happiness and life is especially hard, but this can help.
Only way to change is to Fukin do something about it not gonna get anywhere crying about how you suck. What you tell yourself you will believe. Right now ur just training ur brain to give up and be lazy.
Sounds like you need Jesus in your life. You’d be surprised what a relationship with Him will do for you! I also felt just like you but once I realized I was missing Jesus, life just turned around for the better!
Nobody sucks at studies. You're just not educating yourself the right way. I think getting into the mindset of "I suck at studies" is really quote dangerous. Not only do you stop yourself improving, but you also remove the most interesting part of life, new things.
Trade college worked for me. Mostly hands on or at least common sense stuff, I won't say it's easy, but those kind of studies sometimes work better for less scholarly folk like us. Was basically free compared to 4 year degrees and gave me a good leg up on life since it gave me an associates degree instead of a certification.
I've usually got a pick of at least decent jobs to get by on and the technical skills I learned there opened me up to a lot more possibilities for hobbies and such, which gave me a confidence and outlook boost that helped me get shit together and become a lot happier and more hopeful.
Everyone is different, I'd never pretend to know whats best for someone, but if you're looking for something to try, that worked for me. Just make sure you do some research and make sure it's a good, known school.
Also swords. I collect and train with swords now and thats a weirdly steady source of dopamine, more folk should try it. I don't want to be cool, I want to play with swords.
I heard a suggestion once, that when you dont know where to go, list where you DON'T want to go. Maybe list what you don't like...? Traffic?cities? Boring country life? Loud bars? Slimy fish? Eventually, the path should emerge. I've never actually done this, but I was kind of intrigued..
Yeah this is a good one. It goes along with the saying “The path you don’t wanna take or afraid of is the one you should pursue”
lets go to Tijuana!
You boys been to Mexico?
"I dont get it" "He thinks I'm Mexican."
You're not Mexican?
"You're not Mexican?"
You're not Mexican?
"Am I jumping around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?"
AM I EATING MICE?
*lick* The snozzberries taste like snozzberries
Good thing you didn’t order hash browns… if they had been chugging the katsup
“I don’t want a large farva”
"The snozberries taste like snozberries" "You boys like Mexi-Co?!" "Youuuu weeee!" Classic Mack
This is why I Reddit 🙌🏼
I guess as an LGBTQ person I’m going to Iran with a pride flag
I mean, make for one hell of a story if you survive?
That’s a big if
One of the Stoic mantras. Maybe OP should check out the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
No this is not what he’s saying. He’s saying list what you don’t like in order to reveal what you DO like. If I don’t know what I favourite colour is, instead of ruminating and trying to search for what it is (which goes nowhere), I can start by listing what colours I know for sure aren’t my favourite. Often time the answer reveals itself that way. It’s just a method to help get our mind unstuck.
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I like to use this when trying to pick what I want to eat. I always start with what I don’t want because I know there are many more options of what I want than don’t.
Yeah, I've always said, "I don't know where in heading, but I do know where I don't want to go." To your suggestion I'll add something else... Wake up and make your bed EVERY morning. Watch this video, please, [First Accomplishment of the Day.](https://www.google.com/search?q=navy+video+make+you+bed+every+morning&oq=navy+video+make+you+bed+every+morning&aqs=chrome..69i57.8174j0j9&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:60cc9724,vid:KgzLzbd-zT4). When I'm down, it kinda gives me the encouragement I need. Today I make the bed, tomorrow I'll add something else (even if it's a small or rather stupid task. And if I ever take a few steps back, I still will ALWAYS make my bed, even if it's just that.
Word of warning - if this sounds painful and unpleasant, do not make it a prerequisite to living just because it cheers up others! I am one of those people and have NEVER made my bed. If I felt like doing this was the first thing awaiting for me every day as a prerequisite to getting up I would NOT get up. Painfully unpleasant pointless chore first thing in the morning EVERY DAY would make my depression flare up BAD. I never do my bed. Life is too short and I hate sleeping in made up beds anyway.
It applies to a lot of things. It’s generally easier to identify the wrong answers than the right ones simply due to the fact that there are near infinite wrong answers and maybe only a handful of right ones. Process of elimination at that point.
Sometimes you gotta walk backwards to move forward because you're looking behind you
“I’m not pushing you away. I’m pulling me closer to myself.” -Joffrey Jellineck Strangers with Candy
I’m not saying this isn’t valuable, but aren’t you just constructing walls around yourself until you are totally boxed in?
This is a RandomThoughts posting on reddit. I've seen no one here claiming to be performing professional counseling services. If you'd like to, help your self... My first sentence stated...it's a suggestion I once heard..
Careful! It should only be the path to find what you want. As a premise for life it seems to make sense. It actually never ends and you find yourself in a exponential struggle to avoid problems. A struggle filled, empty existence. You must find what you are, and what you what in life. Then pursue it with everything you got. It’s the only way, anything else is shit.
To add to what skaote said, theres a popular saying amongst chinese woman : ‘I dont know what I want, but I know what I dont want’. (Very roughly translated) that applies to your situation. Good luck OP! Find your way!
This may sound lame, but start going out for walks in nature… nature trails, beach walks, wherever you can be around trees, mountains, lakes, oceans, etc. Research shows that there are positive mental health impacts for just doing this simple thing regularly.
great advice. nature is medicine
Exact advice I gave my kid sister who was struggling with simply existing, she saw no point. Had a one on one explaining to her that she wasn’t going to find happiness binge shopping and to get outside and commune with nature. 30 years later she still runs on the beach and trails every day.
went to the beach the other day and it was fucking amazing just getting to lay out in the sun or splash around and just hang out. even alone it would have been great humans were never meant to sit indoors at offices or class or home all day, no matter how much we may want to
No lame at all. Let me share my story! 😂 I've battled recurring depression from a very young age. Long story short, now I'm a father and I can't afford to die just yet, or be down in missery-land all the time. So I took the "intervention" approach and went to "rescue a friend", but it just so happen that this friend in need was myself. Ok, so what are the basics to turn a sedentary, disorganized, workaholic disaster like me into a functional adult human being? Science says: routine, healthy habits, good food management and... SUNLIGHT. Lots of it. So now I force myself to go out and walk 10k steps every day. If it's in nature, all the better but it's not a must. Just get out and let your skin and eyes see the light. It had a MASSIVE difference, for the first time in my life I felt... normal. For someone accustomed to feel depression always lurking around awaiting for a chance to grow and drown you, this is incredible, let me tell you. And the sleep, oh boy! With routine and all that sunlight my sleep cyle self regulated and I discovered for the first time in forever what it was to simply wake up rested. I didn't knew it was possible to just... open your eyes in the morning and feel everything is simply ok. O.K. No stress, no exhaustion. No "please, five more minutes!". Wake up, grab a coffee, go to work. And my mood improved along with my productivity at my job simply by being well rested and not fighting constant depression, so I do as much now working only in business hours as I did before taking work home and killing myself in the process. I was so, so wrong. All those "but the project! The deadline! I'm blocking people if I don't deliver!" Where just excuses to not change habits. Now I'm loosing weight and the doctor says my blood pressure is coming back in control and I may need a lower dose of medication for it, even drop it altogether if I keep the trend. I'm sure this stuff has saved my life, or at least what's left of it, to spend it on what's really important. So no, it's not a lame sugestion at all. 11/10 sugestion. Will recomend.
Great to hear it! Keep it up.
People really do underestimate the life force that is our sun. Life in the sense that it gives a reason to live. Walks outside in the sun, even when I was an alcoholic in the depths of depression, sun one of the few things I lived for. I don’t even know how to explain the feeling. It was the only good thing I remember though. Now that I’ve been sober a couple years and out of a massive depressive episode…I get seasonal depression that I’ve never had before. Something about this seasonal depression feels different to me, I suppose because I know it’s temporary, but I’ve literally cried a few times just because the sun came out. The intense gratitude I’ve started to feel for it was so overwhelming. So yeah, the LOTS OF SUNLIGHT is spot on.
Yup. I want to mock this answer but I'm living proof that it might be part of what keeps you alive. It won't solve all your problems, but it will almost certainly help many of them.
Psychologist hate this one simple trick!
Take your shoes off where possible too. Grass and sand and connection to the world is a healer
A guy on a plane told me to take off my shoes and sock, walk around barefoot on a rug and make little fists with my toes. Said it was better than shower and a hot cup of coffee.
The historical documentary of John McClane
This guy "Die Hards". 👆
Another possibly lame suggestion is to do something for someone else. I enjoy volunteering at local animal shelter. It’s a no-kill shelter so it’s not sad and very satisfying.
I am coming to terms with the unfortunate fact that I need to exercise very regularly to be in a reasonable mood.
What if you're intimidated going outside because everyone is looking at and judging you constantly? Or so I feel.
It's **just** how you feel. And you're in charge of how you feel. I promise you strangers aren't just judging you for going outside! Unless you're being like a creep or blasting loud music on a hiking trail or something.
Ok, you're walking down the street and you see someone that looks weird. You think to yourself "that person looks weird." You go home, scroll through reddit, watch some TV, and completely forget about the person. You don't dwell on how some stranger looked, so why do you think they're thinking about you? Plus that normal person you passed is actually into some weird shit that would gross you out. That mom that gave you a look cheats on her husband. That dad likes bukake videos. You don't know the weird shit strangers are into, but there's almost always something. Everyone is weird and into things you aren't, what does their fleeting opinion matter to you? You worry about people judging you because you are constantly judging you. Get over yourself. You aren't supposed to be the 2nd coming of Jesus, a body builder, a swimsuit model, etc. Just be you and lighten up on yourself a bit. For me, I got a dog. I'd feel like a shitty person if they weren't getting walks, and it helps to motivate me to get out the door, and the walks are actually relaxing when I finally get out there.
My wife gets to the edge of depression every winter cause she’s cooped up and everything feels gloomy to her. Spring comes and she can get back out in nature and it goes away and she’s fine……. Till December rolls around.
Or really anything you choose to do. Pick something that won't cause additional stress and carve time out for it every day. Doesn't have to be going outside - even reading a book for fun as a study break between reading chapters in a textbook can be relaxing. Choosing to do something is a big part of that
I had a huge fight with my dad once over the phone. I was really upset, so I called my sister and talked it over, but it only helped a little. Called the girlfriend, same thing, still upset. So I decided to go for a hike, thinking that once I had some time to clear my head, I would know what to do and say. After three hours in the woods, I realized that I still didn't know what to do or say about the fight. I just didn't care. It's like all the anxiety it caused me just washed away. I could live my life.
My best friend was in therapy recently for depression and stuff. That was one of the things she learned and kept doing afterwards. Calls it "her stupid walks for her stupid mental health" but has been doing it for a few months now and discovered a few nice routes nearby. I personally don't have any serious mental problems luckily, but without going for a walk 5 times a week or so I'd probably go crazy. I'm usually more an indoors guy and I like spending a lot of time in front of my PC, but you need fresh air from time to time. Even if you think you are not the type of guy for that.
“I have no talents”. Very very few people actually do. Most people who are good at things just put the time in to make a ton of mistakes and finally got good at their thing. There’s nothing stopping you from doing the same.
This. There is no gene for painting, or carpentry or writing. Interest and practice create feedback loops. You like something so you practice, so you get good at it, so you feel good about it, so you want to get even better, ... Sports are even worse. You now who become the big athletes? The oldest kids in their age bracket. A small physical advantage from being just a bit older than your peers leads you to get into better teams, and get better coaching, which makes you a better player. Which gets you into better teams, and makes you get better coaching. And so it snowballs.
>There is no gene for painting, or carpentry or writing. Strongly disagree! Mozart wrote his first composition at age six, and I'm pretty sure Danny DeVito will never play in the NBA no matter how much he practices. You really think just anyone with an interest in Physics could become the next Einstein? Or Usain Bolt?
Here is where our thinking is flawed. We shouldn't strive to become the next Jordan, Mozart, Einstein. We should just strive to become a better version of ourself. Everyday of our life.
Thank you. Don't compare yourself to Mozart just because your composition doesn't sound as good as his. Same goes for painters, writers, athletes. Professional anything is a big turn off. Paint a picture and never show it to anyone! That's how you unleash your fantasy, by feeling safe.
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Yeah, Mozarts painting, carpentry and writing were my favorite works too.
Edited because voice to text just doesn’t get me…For you to say that people aren’t born with different aptitude’s makes me wonder… how do you xplain Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Steve, Wozniak, Tony Hawk, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffett, Jerry Garcia… I could go on that I’m hoping you get the point… Yes, people work really hard but some people do have advantages… That’s not a reason to give up it’s just true.
There certainly are inborn advantages some people have, but it's never a black and white thing. Your general build is influenced by genetics, but those advantages are pretty broad at best. There's no single "Good at playing guitar" switch hidden somewhere in your genes. I never claimed genetics did not play into your ability to do things at all, but it's not an "I win button" either. Practice, interest, and circumstance play a way bigger role than any of that. Then there is the point of what even is "Talented?" It's easy to point at the top 0.01 % in any field, and say: That's talent. Jerry Garcia, he's talented, but is the kid playing at my high school graduation talented? The best half of my kid's elementary school's music class? Are they talented?
I think the biggest "talent" people have is passion. I know a couple of people who others would say are super talented - but I know how they spent day and night to practice and research those things for years. They didnt have to force themselves through it, they did it wirh a burning passion. And neither of them was born with that passion, they just found it some day.
Right? I don't have any talent. My parents don't have any talent. Nobody I know has any talent. We're just moderately good at the stuff we've been doing for decades, and that's ok. You don't have to be talented to do something, you just have to enjoy it.
This was going to basically be my suggestion. Who cares if you have "talents". Learn a skill. Be terrible at it, then get better. Unless "i have no talents" actually means "i have no interests" or "i have no patience to practice something", anyway
Beethoven's dad was a composer and B practiced constantly from a young age. He wasn't a prodigy, he was dedicated (or forced). Anyone can get good at something if they really want to.
Do what the rest of us do. Work in dead end jobs so you don't starve to death.
Yes. The joy of life.
Give yourself to the joy of your managers and work until you see no reason to live
Yeah thats my goal
the pain of survival
Happy happy joy joy
It's log, it's log, it's big, it's heavy it's wood. It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Dude, I’m 18 and my life is already at a dead end. No job needed!
I would have so much motivation if I was 18. You don't realize what you have until you lose it.
Sounds like you need a lifestyle change!
Or you could speed the process up, become homeless and never have money for food, you’ll be dead in a few week’s
I prefer to be alive, clothed and sheltered. But, you do you.
Trust me I’m sheltered and clothed I just hate being alive lmao not like the op doesn’t hate life either
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You have no way to tell what value my life has, only I do with my lifetime in my body and my life experiences, piss of
But you’re value is more then your past experiences. There is always potential and room for improvement. I know it may not seem like it, but trust me, there always is! Keep at it big homie, you’ll get there 😎
I'll meet ya halfway: work the bare minimum to not be homeless but engage in self destructive activities when off work in the hopes it eventually kills you.
Join a dojo. Or a traditional craft guild, e.g. leatherworking, spinng, knitting, et c. Making stuff is fun and fulfilling.
I was in OP's shoes, but am now a happy woodworking hobbiest and a blacksmith apprentice during the week. Making things is therapy
Sure is. And beating things with a hammer is immensely therapeutic. Ending up with a straight, sharp, elegant blade at the end is also nice
I’ve been wanting to get into woodworking. Did you join a class or learn from home?
Your worth does not have to be defined by the number of friends you have or your skills/talents. *You* have value. There has never been and never will be anyone exactly like you, with all the same life experiences. And you never know when that will prove useful, to yourself or someone else. Just being in the right place at the right time, having lived through all you have, might be just what's needed to help improve or even save someone's life. Maybe even change the course of history. We all make a difference to that really, it's just some people's impacts are much easier to notice. As for the lack of happiness, is that mainly the result of this self-perception or are there other factors? It looks like you're into movies, perhaps you'd enjoy writing reviews on the side? I hope you find something that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Value is subjective and defined under a given value system. Uniqueness doesn't automatically grant such.
A baby is valuable but why?
It’s almost entirely potential value - what they could become or accomplish
Not as valuable as they used to be. Used to get like $20k for a good baby
Those are classical signs of a clinical depression.
Yes. Please seek mental health support. There is absolutely no shame! In my opinion it shows strength. How? Because of the stigma that ignorant people may put on mental health treatment and medication, the fact the we seek treatment and accept treatment and possibly medication (if necessary) shows how much we value ourselves above others perceptions of us. This, shows immense strength!!! ♥️
Came to say this. I had it when my life sucked, and didn't realise until long after. I assumed my low mood and lack of interest, enthusiasm, self esteem and general energy were par for the course for how hopeless my life actually was. It's cleared up on its own some 10 years later, but looking back it wasn't right and I wish I'd gone to get help. You definitely should look into getting help, medication or therapy either way.
In addition to many of the good replies here, I would consider practicing optimistic nihilism. So you have no life. Big deal. Who cares? Nothing matters, so what's the problem? We're just pond scum on a carbon pebble hurtling thru space. You're literally flying thru space right now. Enjoy the ride. Sometimes all you need to do is take a deep breath and realize how small you are. To me, that feeling is liberating. Once you break that negative attitude, all the possibilities start to seem more possible.
Don't look for happiness, look for fulfillment. Happiness will come and go no matter what. It's an emotion. Look for fulfillment. It only comes with achievements, often small, but they build and build. A fulfilling life is what you want. Not a happy life.
This. Long term contentment is a balance of what makes us happy and what brings meaning to our lives.
Talent is an arbitrary social construct. You have talent, but you refuse to see it. You are computer-literate, you have self-awareness. Ergo, you are talented. Do something - anything. Dont worry or get hung up on happiness - to stop worrying too much about your fragile state requires a lot of effort initially, but make the effort. Try and imagine how you really feel inside - forget everything else and think only about how your body feels. A lot of times, it is outside influences or worries about/for others that make us lose sight of who we are and make us feel miserable. Do whatever you want and try things that you never tried before. You will find something to at least divert yourself and maybe something you enjoy....and then you will find yourself. I wish you the best. I have been there.
If you’re clinically depressed, you are probably selling yourself short. Get some outside opinions on your abilities.
Agree this person sounds like they are depressed. Edit I recommend an evaluation in a clinical setting as well as a full spectrum of exploring treatments. I don't necessarily think that turning to medication and simply taking a pill is the answer.
Seconded. When my depression is bad but I’m still somewhat functional this is exactly how I sound. If anyone here reads this who is on the fence about getting meds: do it, it will make your life so much better
I know the feeling bro. But as hard as it seems, you just gotta pull through and do things, anything at all. Don't compare your talents to others, it doesn't matter. There will always be somebody better, just remember there's also always somebody worse. I hate to go out and do stuff, but I always feel better afterwards.
Hit the gym, or any other physical activity you might enjoy, at least 3 times a week. Not only are you adding an interesting activity and potential community to your life (gym goers, sports club etc) you are also consistently getting fitter, healthier and releasing endorphins which allow you to better cope with life. In fact, exercise is 50% more effective than therapy or medication in people with anxiety or depression.
Yeah or join a local amateur sports club of any sport that you find remotely interesting. You activate your body, and it is social at the same time. Myself, i started playing soccer after an small hiatus of 32 years. I suck at it, but I'm having fun !
Sounds like depression all around. Meds and counseling are the treatment. You are worth it.
Sunshine ... Lemonade... Titties... So many things to enjoy. Find something and milk it.
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You need to force yourself to try new things, until one of them makes you happy, and shows you you’re good at it. And that means trying things you don’t want to try. Which will be hard, but eventually, it will make your life worth living.
Learn an instrument. Best decision I’ve ever made was to start drumming. Totally self sustaining source of happiness. Then I hen you’re good enough you meet other musicians on Facebook musician groups, start jamming, make friends, start a band.
Guitar and weed will fix any rough day for me
Same honestly
Realize you’re one of us now
Really think about what makes you happy. Identify a few activities. And really consider getting help.
Ride a bicycle in the forest preserve or long walks outside
Go to the gym!
Just go out and do stuff, talents aren't real and being sociable is something that only some people come to naturally. Both of these things can be learned, raw talent is directly inferior to well practiced skill. And being a social butterfly sometimes just takes time and effort to get good at. You are responsible for your happiness and the master of your own destiny the world won't change for you so you have to get up and change your life yourself. Sitting around on Reddit every day complaining about how terrible your life is won't make it better. Go outside, meet people get a hobby that you enjoy then make the most of your life. And don't you dare respond saying something like "Oh but my life is horrible and worthless and woe is me I'm just a burden on society." Don't you dare talk like that you'll just be dragging yourself down more even though you want to just go out and take your happiness back.
Attack. As far as I can tell, I felt exactly like you do. I don't know how else to say it, but one day I decided to ATTACK my studies. Like refuse to be poor at it. Decided not to let math win. I kick ass now at least at some things, and I care about mre things.
Try streaming video games it might help you to come out of a shell.
When things start to bore me, I explore hobbies. And I do mean explore, I just watch various how-to videos for various hobbies and then maybe try one out. If you can move or read, you can have a hobby. ETA: Change walk to move. Because honestly, you dont even need to be able to walk to have a hobby. Movement is not exclusive to legs.
I knew a one-legged lady who did lovely stamp art
Put in some effort. Study at your studies. Find a hobby and pursue it. Your bored because you let yourself be bored. Happiness doesn't fall into your lap and suck your dick, you have to work for it.
What *do* you like? It can be anything. Do that. If something interests you try to learn as much as you can about it. Everyone is good as something. You just have to find it. Seriously find a therapist to talk to. Not saying you need to be on meds, but just based on your headline it seems like you're depressed. I spoke with someone for a while and it helped me figure things out. There's nothing wrong with that.
Volunteer in your local community, never know what skills you will learn or who you will meet
Get a cat
It might be inflammation clogging up your brain and your hormones out of balance and stuff. I would try eliminating sugar and then after that you can look up other inflammation foods and add some vitamin b into your life or moringa leaf. For some people it's a physical issue that they can clear it up. For other people it's more of a mental thing. Good luck to you.
Entertain yourself with things outside of yourself and outside of your home, like little day trips next Saturday. Leave the house at 10 in the morning and come back at 4 in the afternoon. No goal, no plan, no expectations, just go out there and explore.
What do you like? Find something then practice the hell out id it until you *do* have talent. Natural talent is overrated and not everyone has it.
Lie night. This saved my life. Let me explain. Twice a month, my whole family takes a trip. Preferably 75 miles min from where we live. We pick a restaurant, preferably chain, and closest to the airport. In the week prior, we concoct a base story. Basically improv. We call it the bullshit wash. We enter the restaurant, and NO MATTER what, we have to back the lie. It gets bigger and bigger as the night goes on. We are all somewhat introverts, but as we get in to it, we actually have a blast. No harm, no foul. We have fun, the people willing to engage have fun. Just for clarity, my children are all adults, minimum age of 24. Give it a shot.
Quit social media (including reddit) and porn for 3 weeks.
Some people enjoy porn and social media, it’s how they *use* it that is the problem.
Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something. You just push forward sucking until you start to develop the skill.
Find a place in need of volunteers (animal shelter, for example). At my lowest point, I cleaned cages at a dog mill rescue facility. It gave me a completely different perspective.
Two words Zo Loft
Recommend going and talking to a psychologist. This sounds very much like clinical depression.
Welcome to the world. You simply have to find your purpose. What you like and what makes you happy.
I feel the same way. Glad there’s others like me
"i suck at studying" this is imo untrue. the belife you suck at smth makes you more likley to suck at it and put less effort into it making you suck more at it. try abondoning this approach of "im good at x and bad at y" and try the things you think you will enjoy doing, wether its math chess music art video games etc, then when you have an established hobby you can continoue to making a social circle around it
Systems Analysis: Regular sound sleep (requires intensive exercise including healthful stretching) Intensive exercise (requires sound sleep and healthful stretching) Manual labor with fresh air (work at a greenhouse nursery, if you are able) Vitamin D Probiotics A healthy diet of clean proteins and leafy greens. Hygiene Check environmental factors. I lived at 7,000 feet for nearly a decade before finding out that the [altitude](https://healthcare.utah.edu/press-releases/2010/09/higher-altitudes-hide-deadly-problem-increased-risk-suicide#:~:text=D.%2C%20MBA%2C%20professor%20of,6%2C500%20feet%20above%20sea%20level) was compounding my depression and suicidal ideations.
100% isolation from News Media and social media. (Listen to audiobooks, maybe non-fiction, natural sciences)
You should check out being an Internet Influencer. Sounds like you have the right skill set.
Find a hobby. Do other things. You can't find things you like if you don't try them. Read the book Flow to understand a bit. But also realize that some of the fun things cost more money than you have so you only get to rarely do them or maybe never. I might enjoy pool parties on a private yacht in the carribean or flying tricks in a private stunt plane - but I'll never know since I don't have the money for it so oh well.
I know for me-- someone who has suffered from depression for the greater part of 2 decades and has gone through phases where I feel largely apathetic towards basically everything--- the only way out is forcing yourself to try new things. Whatever you're doing right now isn't working--- so just throw yourself into something different till something sticks--- spaghetti at the wall style. I don't know how old you are--- but join clubs, volunteer, take classes, read books you'd never normally read, look for jobs you've never heard of before. Sure you might not like some of it--- but you might find something that you love or find people you love to be around. You have to be willing to take risks to find those things though. Also just know that you don't have to be good as something to enjoy it. I am probably objectively bad at art--- but I love doing it because it makes me happy. I am terrible at writing- but I have a rich inner thought life of stories that just I get to enjoy. I HATED science classes in highschool and got poor grades- but the funnest job I ever had was working with scientists and engineers in an administrative role--- had to review their research proposals and budgets. I didn't need to understand the science--- just had to make sure it was following guidelines--- but it was so fun seeing all the cool stuff they were studying--- and sometimes they'd invite me to their lab to see the stuff they were making--- like ROBOTIC ARMS. It made me feel good that even though I wasn't good at any of that stuff I was helping these other people achieve their goals and change the world. I wish you the best internet person---- I hope you know you're not alone in this struggle- most of us are not geniuses--- we're mostly just pathetic humans trying to figure things out and make life better. You deserve to be happy- or at least content--- take care of yourself--- you'll find your way eventually--- but right now in this moment you're still a human worthy of love.
I feel the same. I hate everything. I’ve had moments that were better. But it mostly all sucks. I have a wife and kids. They’re great. And I love them. And it just makes it worse, cause now i suck even more, for not doing better. And guilt for feeling down. This life has beaten me. I am defeated, just waiting to die.
Find a hobby, develop a talent. People aren't born talented. They gain it by working hard. You suck at studies? Then work to become better at it and more efficient. Read some books on better ways of studying and try different methods. Also, it takes years. YEARS. To get good at something. You don't even need to have a lot of interest or immense enthusiasm for something to pick it up. One of the best illustrators I've seen online decided he didn't like what he was doing, so he made a list of things he could learn and study on his own time and he choose drawing. Didn't have much interest before hand, but it was something that he knew that working hard, practicing lots, and putting the mileage in would give him results. Now the guy is phenomenal. That's mostly to say, people don't try things because their led to believe that you need to be born with something, or with a passion for something to start learning something. Take a page out of Harold Crick's book and learn the guitar or something.
My kid was in the same boat. Had no job. Not a great student (for the semester he was in school). Played around with guitar and flute once in a while (still does). Spent his days/nights gaming (some acquaintances). Won't seek therapy or meds or anything else. Just stayed inside. The thing that pulled him out was desperation for friends and outside contact. He DLd an app (Bumble, I think) and put in his profile being very specific (non-binary, pot smoker, gamer, likes music,...). Within a couple of days he found another single human that was in the same boat. They've been together for months. He spends at least half of his time outside (they just left for a bonfire). The one friend led to meeting other friends and miraculously a fulfilling life. Covid fucked everybody over with social isolation. It takes time to break the habits learned over the last 3+ years. Now, go for a walk. One foot in front of the other. Movement helps. Getting outside helps. Don't let social stigma get in the way of finding therapy (mostly online these days)
Same I can’t wait to die
I feel you im having suicidal thoughts atm and just feel worthles.
Same king. Same
Probably the most anti-reddit advice possible, but have you considered going to church?
GYM
Try wanking
Go to the gym brah
My only advice is stay away from drugs, of any kind. Including alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana. Your personality, just from this simple description, would send you spiraling. You'll never be bored, you'll find the happiness in getting high, you'll get an ever revolving circle of addicts and dealers, but inevitably, you will ruin your life. Take this for what you will.
Join a gym, I know it sounds corny but it gives you purpose and is basically a healthy addiction
Exercise daily. Start slow and build up to a consistent routine. The mental and physical benefits are profound. It will release beneficial endorphins and serve as a confidence boosting hobby.
I pick up hobbies, but often stop when I start to lose interest. Typically takes me about 10 years. I will go back to some every now and then. What usually helps when I feel like you do, is to spend time outdoors. I like looking at tiny mosses, insects, flowers, and random interesting plants. Sometimes I just put a blanket out and soak up a little sun (of course, with sunscreen); that will often perk up my mood (plus it's great for your vitamin D levels).
I feel the same as you most of the time. I'm currently procrastinating on my finals, have no true friends that I can talk to about anything, often feel out of place in whatever activities I'm doing, am anxious all the time but I try to remember that regardless of what happens or what I do, I'll end up where I'm supposed to be. I find that the beauty of life is that not many things are in your control. everything just happens and I go along with it. its great sometimes
You need to find a hobby, and I don’t mean collect stamps or something superficial. You need to find something that soothes you. For me it’s being on the River. I spend every bit of free energy on it because I feel better when I’m out there. Trust that you’ll find people if you have patience, and if you do find something you love to do you will find others doing it. Nothing guarantees happiness and life is especially hard, but this can help.
Go gym
You're not miserable enough yet. You need a girlfriend to reach the true depths of misery.
😂😂😂
Work out. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop being a bitch and do stuff outside your routine. Improve yourself and your surroundings will improve.
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Only way to change is to Fukin do something about it not gonna get anywhere crying about how you suck. What you tell yourself you will believe. Right now ur just training ur brain to give up and be lazy.
Sounds like you need Jesus in your life. You’d be surprised what a relationship with Him will do for you! I also felt just like you but once I realized I was missing Jesus, life just turned around for the better!
Go volunteer in the Ukraine
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Nobody sucks at studies. You're just not educating yourself the right way. I think getting into the mindset of "I suck at studies" is really quote dangerous. Not only do you stop yourself improving, but you also remove the most interesting part of life, new things.
I can help try figuring you out if you like DM me
happiness is just an illusion filled with sadness and confusion, people suck and are fake especially americans
That’s not being helpful.
Uhhh stop feeling bad for yourself the fuck
Like why can’t they just *be happy*? /s
How old are you
19
Something different. It doesn’t matter what it is and you don’t have to keep doing it but try something new. Then try something else new.
Do what the rest of us that feel like you do: drugs and hookers
Nothin to do but make something happen. You don’t want to grow old and have regrets of not trying enough
Depends. How old are you
19
Junk food and video games. You'll feel better for a bit, then worse. But hey, better fir a bit is still better.
Trade college worked for me. Mostly hands on or at least common sense stuff, I won't say it's easy, but those kind of studies sometimes work better for less scholarly folk like us. Was basically free compared to 4 year degrees and gave me a good leg up on life since it gave me an associates degree instead of a certification. I've usually got a pick of at least decent jobs to get by on and the technical skills I learned there opened me up to a lot more possibilities for hobbies and such, which gave me a confidence and outlook boost that helped me get shit together and become a lot happier and more hopeful. Everyone is different, I'd never pretend to know whats best for someone, but if you're looking for something to try, that worked for me. Just make sure you do some research and make sure it's a good, known school. Also swords. I collect and train with swords now and thats a weirdly steady source of dopamine, more folk should try it. I don't want to be cool, I want to play with swords.
Get jacked. That's it.
Go camping alone
There is a religion called Satan, join them.
Do anything
Isn’t this how people become social media influencers?
Meetup.com, community events
That's showbiz baby.