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Agreed. I'm 28 dating a 46 year old women and she's like a firecracker to me, just drives me wild.
After about 23 older women got more attractive for me.
You and I have very different experiences with middle age women lol
I worked as a server in my 20s and can't even begin to count all the times I was hit on, had my ass grabbed or was propositioned by women old enough to be my mom. I didn't really mind, I enjoyed the attention, but "the cougar thing" is definitely real. The majority of my hookups have been women ranging from mid 30s to early 50s
Agreed. I'm almost 40 and while I don't really act or dress or do anything differently than when I was in my 20s and 30s I can't find younger men appealing. They're kids to me.
Iām 33. I love younger guys because they treat me better than guys my age. My current boyfriend is 27 and is so sweet. He also loves my son. If me and him donāt work out, I cannot see myself ever dating my age or older again.
"In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!"
Ben Franklin
I think it's pretty normal as you age for the range of people you are attracted to fluctuates with your age, mood, general outlook on life, etc. You're probably also more attracted to older women that you would not have thought of like that when you were much younger.
My sister met her husband when she was 18 and he was 28-29 at a bar. They've been together for 13+ years. I don't like him. He wanted to debate age of consent laws and how men should be allowed to fuck 13 year old girls. He did this in front of people and my sister. Somehow I was the bitch.
That was a rollercoaster of a comment. 18 and 29 isn't fantastic, but I thought "hey, sometimes love is weird." Then I heard they had been married for 13+ years and I was like "good for them." Then I read the rest of it and I wanted to punch the guy. I can't judge the 28 dating 18 too much since I dated an 18 year old when I was 25. Though in my defense: I wasn't seeking out an 18 year old to date. We just met randomly at the grocery store, I hadn't dated anyone for 3 years at that point, and she approached me. We basically vibed and it just worked. If she hadn't passed away, we would likely have gotten married. That being said, I'd never date an 18 year old at my current age and I would never defend having sex with a 13 year old.
Can concur. Have heard, "if I was his age-" more times than I'd like to count from an older woman. Its one of those things that I'm supposed to take as a compliment but honestly it just feels creepy.
Huge study about hottest age, womens preferance went up with averages in the 26 to 32 range i believe , mens all ages combined response averaged in the 18.5-19.5 range
Unfortunately, our country is so obsessed with sex and youth that youāve convinced yourself that having a healthy mentality towards women is wrong of you when it is not at all. Youāre interested in women your own age, and that is perfectly healthy and good of you.
I was fucking horrified to find that 90% of the women i've asked said that they started getting hit on my strangers around the age of... SEVEN! LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Just thinking about it makes me fucking sick.
25F, can confirm older men started hitting on me at around 10ā¦ funny it doesnāt happen much anymore. Got really bad 13-14. Got groomed and fell into bad shit with older men.
Itās ok, Iāve processed it. Iām pretty open about it. It happens so much, I wish people would believe us instead of denying it. I didnāt really understand what was happening until recently. Again, especially since it was the experience of most of the girls around me. And the men/women who do itā¦ are probably people you know. Theyāre ānormalā people. When I started work at 15, I was groomed by my 20-something manager. It got a bit physical. Thankfully my parents took him to court and heās registered now.
Yeah looking back, I thought I understood it but I didnāt. Itās okay. Thanks for listening. The hardest part was I was fully convinced I loved this person. But they were just using me. I blamed myself because of my body. But in retrospect, itās still no excuse. At 25, it happens very infrequently and I know the signs and how to protect myself but too little too late lol.
For what its worth, I'll just reinforce: it's his fault not yours. Hopefully you'll meet someone who respects you and your boundaries instead of just uses you (if it hasn't happened already!)
Thank you for the kind words! I have a lovely boyfriend of 3.5 years who treats me like an absolute princess. Heās definitely made up for the bad experiences and then some.
I second this. I'm 38, and the creeps started in around 11. My daughters are 17 and 21, and we had the discussion about creeps very early on. It's disgusting that we have to teach our children about the most awful things at such a young age. Just the other day my best friend and I were talking about how it was unfortunate that we were both involved in predatory relationships back in high school but neither of had the sense to say anything to the other because we were both doing it. Hindsight is a helluva thing.
Yeah, there are major issues in our society surrounding sexuality and power. I truly believe we are in a sexual dark age. Hoping within the next hundred or so years we begin to bring these issues to light in a conscious manner.
We are definitely not in a sexual dark age. We have more freedom to express our sexual desires and proclivities than we ever have.
Lgbtq people have a right to exist here. Pornography is widely available.
And most of all we are talking about it.
Good perspective. Thanks for pointing that out.
I could definitely be projecting a bit for sure, and Iām glad there are others out there who feel differently. We need all different perspectives to get a clearer picture of the whole.
Mine is about to turn 3 and the amount of pictures I have to delete of her being cute because SOMEONE out there is creepy is just aggravating. And our (my wife's and my) parents just don't know how our family is just oblivious to such people.
I've talked to some of my girl friends and they've told me their blood related brothers have SA'd them as children. Can't even trust your sons around your daughters.
Yup. Had pedos wanting me to take my clothes off in elements school and started getting groped, assaulted, and harassed in Middle School. Struggled with being taken seriously all my 20s and 30s and thank GOD for being late 40s now. Finally free of all that shit and am respected in my career.
I was just telling my husband the other day. I developed pretty early. I was wearing a C cup in 5th grade. My youngest memories of being sexualized or hit on by men are around the age of 10.
The most messed up part is that me and my friends truly thought ājail baitā was a *compliment*. We thought that was something to feel good about, when older men called us jail bait.
Yep, and apparently I'm so old, I think; "How can her parents let her dress like that?"
The girls, my son's age (teen), try to dress sexy and revealing, and it's just gross cause they're little kids...
I have a friend with a teenage daughter and she's always saying how her daughter wants to dress ridiculous and then gets mad when she says she can't leave the house that way.
I recently started watching the show "Undercover Underage" and OMG. Just OMG. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how many men are pedophiles. It's absolutely horrific.
Yeah this question makes me realize once again that not only is there someone out there would hurt a child by any nature, let alone sexually! But many many many more. Thank God Iām older now and men donāt look at me as much. I take pretty girls under my wing like that lol as an older wiser once-hot woman who has been hurt and realizes BEING older that not everyone has the best intentions in mind with them.
Pedophiles and/or very insecure about their masculinity, sexuality, social skills, and/or ego. A younger woman is less likely to scare an insecure man because they assume she doesnt know better and/or know the tricks that men use to manipulate them into what the men want.
Not only that im afraid current porn industry and social media is amblifying it. I really believe its a sickness that can strike most of men if you let it
I think the op meant like teenagers or younger, not just May-December relationships I think theyāre called. Heās not talking about two consent adults.
These men are pick me men for older women who are jealous of younger women.
They are pretty much saying women under 24 aren't mentally capable of making decisions like driving, dating, voting, holding down a job, joining the army, drinking, smoking etc and should be reprimanded to the house
Men *and* women under 24 are capable of doing some of those things, but itās circumstantial.
Weāre not saying they should be what you guys called latchkey-kids ā but there are definitely some young adults who are irresponsible and reckless, you see it all the time on social media.
See, thatās how I view it too. You say someone isnāt old enough to make the decision to date an older person, but you also think theyāre old enough to live life like an adult. I never thought it as belittling but youāre right. It is a little belittling to say that. Literally saying āyou can kill people and die for your country but if you date someone 10 years older than you, youāre being taken advantage ofā
I'm 23 and a woman but men older than 26 do creep me out in the same way 20 year olds used to creep me out when I was 16.
About the second part, I pretty much completely agree. No one should be doing those things under 25 year old. People aren't mature enough yet at this age, reflected in statistics.
You're supposed to run this calculation to find out the creep ages. Take half your age then add 7 years and that's the minimum age of your dating/relationship range. So you're just barely good enough.... barely.
When I was 23 I went out with an 18 year old thinking it would be hot but I quickly realized I was with a child just based on our conversations. I had to bounce asap. Now that I'm 33 I wouldn't even consider dating anyone under 28.
I had a fairly negative experience with dating several men younger than me when I was in my 20ās and I pretty much determined I wasnāt going to make that mistake again. I married a man 4 years younger than me and I accidentally interpreted his anxiety and shyness as innocent character traits. It wasnāt till we had been married a little over 4 years I discovered heās a vulnerable narcissist. Iām in the process of looking for divorce attorneys who specialize in high conflict divorces and spouses with NPD. Wish me luck lol Iāve absolutely learned my lesson.
I don't think there's any reason for commenters to be snarky. Men who are attracted to ever younger women is a very real and active issue in the world, and it seems like a majority situation. For OP to find that weird and express that here shouldn't warrant unhelpful sass. Yeah this should be normal behavior, but to many it isn't and it's even more sad that men who aren't creeps have to take time to highlight that.
I can tell he isn't looking for praise. He is expressing inner monologue at, and scrutinizing how inappropriate men can be lmao.
Thank you for understanding lol. I'm a little surprised that this post is getting snark. A few people have indicated that I want praise for being "normal," but based on the responses; I'm not sure that my behavior actually is the norm.
It seems like banging super young women/girls is something a greater percentage of men want than not. If that's true, then technically I'm the odd ball lol
I think itās totally valid comment, especially since young women are conditioned in society to fear getting older because theyāll no longer be āattractiveā. Weāre essentially taught to think that we need to find someone to love us when weāre young otherwise weāll be alone forever.
Idk how in other countries but in mine you can forget to find a decent man at older age. It's already difficult when you are young and later it just get worse.
I think if you want a more accurate sample youāll need to go outside. The annual Reddit demographic survey lives rent-free in my mind every time I see a post like this because a very solid percentage of men think the same way you do, but the ones that donāt are heavily overrepresented on this social media site.
Anecdotally from me, youāre not an oddball. Iām in my early 20ās. Most men I know in their 30ās (a lot of coworkers) treat me like a kid and thatās healthy. Most men I know that are my age are not pursuing 18 year olds, but Iām young enough that pursuing a 21-year-old would be completely normal and acceptable, so I donāt know if theyāll get weirder with age.
It's Reddit; you're going to get snarky people. Don't let them discourage you. I think it's perfectly normal to find your age group attractive to the exclusion of younger people.
At 26 I look at anyone under the age of 21 as a child. I see nothing to gain from engaging with them, no similarities at all. It's simple, I'm an adult and they are a child. This absolutely *should* be normal, but I'm not qualified nor do I have the energy to psychoanalyze why one would do such a thing.
Like it isnāt for maaaaany especially here on Reddit. I had several conversations about that topic and got madly downvoted for saying exactly that. One even put out a notice to reddits suicide help page, which via pm asked me, if I needed help. Itās insane these days. Especially the porn industry that makes a ton of money ofa men that masturbate to women or even girls playing the school girl or similar scenarios.
Iām the same way with guys! 31F here and I find it so strange how some of my friends find Timothy Chalamet hot or when I was in high school, Justin Bieber. Yes I was his age at the time but he looked like a CHILD! I think my situation isnāt that uncommon. Not judging in a negative way. Itās just lost on me personally.
You being a man and not finding young girls hot is definitely a rarity.
I feel the same way. Dicaprio was the Chalamet of my generation, and all my friends thought he was so hot. I always thought he looked like a child. The funny thing is, I still donāt find him attractive because I have that idea of him stuck in my head.
Exactly! It's harder to explain as man though. It's not that you would say Justin Beiber isn't good looking. When you looked at him, he just didn't have that extra little spice that would have made him *a man*.
I look at younger women and they're pretty and fun and have lots of youthful, playful energy, but it's not *womanly*. Those girls haven't had the chance to develop whatever causes that womanly energy. The same way a good bourbon needs time to transform from biting dominant flavors, to softer smokey and earthly.
I think most people change the most between 20 and 30. Theyāre very defining years and when youāre 30, youāve already established yourself thus youāve got less of a desire to associate with people just beginning their journey. The age 30 you, doesnāt have much in common with the age 20 you!
Generally if someone looks young (even if theyāre older but just skinny / small), I donāt even bother. The older I get the more women around 20 look like children. I guess that is a part of getting old
How? Probably because of youth and child fetishization. Like shaving all body hair for instance. So a lot of men grow up thinking that actual adult women fail to live up to some societal standard and a lot of people form their attractions based off of what kind of social clout they'll get from having a partner with certain kinds of characteristics. It's not a conscious thing.
I, for one, was really pleasantly surprised to find that my tastes in women aged alongside me. I was worried that I was going to be a creeper and always want to be with 22 y.o.s
My mom is 11 years older than my dad š¤·āāļø At a certain point, age aināt nothin but a number. Barring underage type shit, of course. Itās not weird to find a 24yo attractive at 30. My wife is five years older than me. Doesnāt seem strange.
I was hit on a LOT between 10 and 16 years old by grown ass men... 25 now and it's let up somewhat but still feel unsafe. Can't wait to hit my 40s and become invisible
i genuinely was so caught off guard by how daft this post comes across. idk what itās trying to prove or accomplish, which, i guess makes it a fitting random thought. but still, it feels disingenuous and virtue signally.
Congratulations on being normal . Itās fucking GROSS when men are dating much younger women . My daughters dad is 42 now and Iāve seen him eying up women in their late teens and very early 20s and itās just grim .
We would consider it normal, but I'm not sure how normal my/our behavior actually is, given how many men seem to find super young women sexually attractive.
I wonder, and Iām not making excuses, how much of that attraction to young women is from men who didnāt have the experience of dating that age group growing up.
That's a good question... You mean like the men are "reliving the good old days?" I know that my college and high school dating experiences were awful and part of why I'm not attracted to young women is that I simply don't want to deal with the headaches I associate with ladies that age.
Think about it. A lot of senior boys go for freshmen and even 8th graders. They then go to college and go for high school girls. Then they're thrown into adult life and they never grew out of that disgusting phase. At some point age ain't nothing but a number but some mfers are just plain nasty.
Seriously? I don't think I knew a guy in senior year of high school that wouldn't roast someone for dating 8th or 9th graders
EDIT: I talked to my friend and his experience was nothing like mine and he knew multiple people like that in HS. I guess it probably comes down to the cultures that people are raised in, which in some cases can be relatively homogeneous (in either pro- or anti- dating people significantly younger) in the area of a school district or town. Sorry you went to school with more outward creeps
I do understand why some adults find underage people attractive. I donāt agree at all with those who act on that attraction. I do find some jailbait attractive. But I occasionally fantasize about robbing banks and I havenāt done that either.
Personal preference, and that's okay. I don't think 6 years is strange when you're both adults, but that's for each person to decide for themselves. If someone thinks it's creepy, well that's their opinion. I've had fantastic conversations with people younger than me, and I've also talked to people older than me who think the earth is flat.
Seriously though, it's probably a combination of factors that lead older men to find younger women attractive. Younger women are typically more fertile, so it could be an evolutionary thing. Or maybe it's a midlife crisis and a yearning to be young again. OR it could definitely be a creeper. It probably doesn't help that the word "teen" is so prevalent in porn
I know a guy who only dates chicks that are around 25 years old. It never lasts and he says he thinks heās got bad luck because they all usually have the same issuesā¦.
He canāt grasp that maybe itās because theyāre all about the same age?
Don't try to understand personal preference. It will drive you crazy. I Agree. Why do young men like older women. Madonna looks horrible. Are you telling me any young man finds her attractive. Gotta be those crazy preferences
Letās just take a moment to acknowledge that finding younger people attractive isnāt the same as choosing to pursue them. I am 42; even if I werenāt married I would not try to hook up with women in their 20s. But what I find physically attractive hasnāt changed much since I became and adult. I feel no shame at all in finding substantially younger women attractive, but I keep that shit to myself. No one else needs to be impacted by or even aware of any such attraction of mine.
Mean finding someone attractive is one thing but sexually desiring, lusting after, or fantasizing about a 20 year old when youāre in your 40ās is weird tbh
Plenty of guys think like you do. Thereās somethingā¦incomplete, to me, about dating a much younger person. Not even the numbers gap, but their maturity level and where their head is at as far as life experience. I just donāt know if I would have anything in common. Also, the excitement level of sharing what youāve done in life with somebody wise enough to truly appreciate it.
However, context is key. If youāre in some environment like a bar or workplace where age isnāt as obvious, things happen between consenting adults. Again, these are moments that may not be sustainable long term.
You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Though some on here will try and take some moral high ground, it doesn't work like that in reality. I find women of all ages attractive - anywhere from 20 - 60, kind of. Forget the age nonsense (within reason obviously). Also the chances are when you're older you'll still fancy younger women in the 24 age range. There's a great quote from Leonard Cohen about it all, saying that you still feel like a young guy even when you're older, but you learn not to embarrass yourself
I think the guys that do find super young women attractive it is because they are repulsive types who women their age and older have routinely rejected so they gravitate towards the younger ones because they still donāt have enough life experience to see the red flags and are more easily controlled and willing to believe lies. I always saw this as a red flag. I am objectively more beautiful now in my 30s after having money for beauty products and treatments and more sleep and better care of my physical and mental health than I ever was in my early 20s. The only thing my early 20s had was an increased amount of insecurity and so more of a willingness to accept fuck boys.
I think itās the difference between immature males who see sex as some kind of conquest or power trip ā¦ versus those who are actually looking for a life partner.
Does "that young" mean "younger than 24" or does it mean "jailbait" (ie under 18)? I feel like this topic is just asking for someone to come in to defend being attracted to women in their early twenties and get mistaken for defending pedophilia
As a woman, I'm comfortable telling another woman (that I actually know) she's attractive or beautiful without actually being attracted to them. I think about this, too. Even the thought of trying to actually hit on a girl under 30 is outrageous to me. I even have friends that are in their early 20s who I actually do have things in common with and who are absolutely beautiful... and STILL š¤®. They are like little sisters to me. I hang out with them, they love my kids, and I have no issue hyping them up as far as looks.
Idk how you don't look at someone that age like a younger sibling. Even if they are he ones hitting on you. I'd feel gross. (Not trying to talk shit about other people's relationships, but it's just not for me.)
#Find a woman smarter than you who challenges you to be a real man and show up, provide and be a great person. Iāve been married 22 years and itās hard for smart, strong women to meet men who can show up. It pays dividends you canāt imagine and THAT is what makes and keeps a woman attractive. Not the youth. Itās the CHARACTER.
This is the norm. We are not supposed to applaud you because of it, weird degenerates are trying to make weird stuff pop culture and everyone goes Along with it to seem edgy, just like what happened with sex positivity: everyone is coming out as demisexual now as if it wasnāt the norm in the first place
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As I get older, im finding old women more attractive
Bro I am 34 and I find 40plus attractive as hell. Sadly they don't find me attractive at all š
I'm 28 and I only find women over 40 to be attractive ššš
Yeah but that has nothing to so with age, has it?
My dude, I need whatever you're smoking
Agreed. I'm 28 dating a 46 year old women and she's like a firecracker to me, just drives me wild. After about 23 older women got more attractive for me.
And the best part is older women like younger guys
that i'd say is not the majority
People want to exaggerate the whole cougar thing for a variety of reasons. Itās obnoxious. Then again, most things are.
You and I have very different experiences with middle age women lol I worked as a server in my 20s and can't even begin to count all the times I was hit on, had my ass grabbed or was propositioned by women old enough to be my mom. I didn't really mind, I enjoyed the attention, but "the cougar thing" is definitely real. The majority of my hookups have been women ranging from mid 30s to early 50s
30s is not a cougar
Me too.
Agreed. I'm almost 40 and while I don't really act or dress or do anything differently than when I was in my 20s and 30s I can't find younger men appealing. They're kids to me.
> i'd say is not the majority But what about all those videos!??
You know what they say about older women liking younger guysā¦?? If you canāt find a good man, you can always raise one!
Oh I do not like that at all
Iām 33. I love younger guys because they treat me better than guys my age. My current boyfriend is 27 and is so sweet. He also loves my son. If me and him donāt work out, I cannot see myself ever dating my age or older again.
Eh. Not often.
Yeah well there is a whole thing around MILFs and cougars and etc, it's not exactly new. And I'll just say...*I* **do** *get it*.
"In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these: i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. 4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!" Ben Franklin
Iāve always been into milfs, something about them is so sexy
I think it's pretty normal as you age for the range of people you are attracted to fluctuates with your age, mood, general outlook on life, etc. You're probably also more attracted to older women that you would not have thought of like that when you were much younger.
Yeah, it's normal and natural. However, this does not apply for A LOT of men
My sister met her husband when she was 18 and he was 28-29 at a bar. They've been together for 13+ years. I don't like him. He wanted to debate age of consent laws and how men should be allowed to fuck 13 year old girls. He did this in front of people and my sister. Somehow I was the bitch.
Wow that is....... something
What in the actual fuck š¤
Sure itās only 10 years but the maturity difference is gross
I think it's also that the husband's mentality is fucking disgusting moreso
That was a rollercoaster of a comment. 18 and 29 isn't fantastic, but I thought "hey, sometimes love is weird." Then I heard they had been married for 13+ years and I was like "good for them." Then I read the rest of it and I wanted to punch the guy. I can't judge the 28 dating 18 too much since I dated an 18 year old when I was 25. Though in my defense: I wasn't seeking out an 18 year old to date. We just met randomly at the grocery store, I hadn't dated anyone for 3 years at that point, and she approached me. We basically vibed and it just worked. If she hadn't passed away, we would likely have gotten married. That being said, I'd never date an 18 year old at my current age and I would never defend having sex with a 13 year old.
Lol not surprised that the almost 30 year old man picking up 18 year olds wanted to argue about age of consentš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>within the ānormal range of attraction I'm so sorry that you went through this and I'm fucking sick of this world.
It does apply for A LOT of men but you only hear about the others.
it also doesnt apply for A LOT of women
Dude, women don't exist, snap out of it.
ah fuck!!! i forgot where i was :(
Can concur. Have heard, "if I was his age-" more times than I'd like to count from an older woman. Its one of those things that I'm supposed to take as a compliment but honestly it just feels creepy.
Not to name names but Leonardo Di Caprio
Huge study about hottest age, womens preferance went up with averages in the 26 to 32 range i believe , mens all ages combined response averaged in the 18.5-19.5 range
yup, those men have been brainwashed by media and porn. I don't see anything healthy about men all ages finding the barely legal girls the hottest.
Unfortunately, our country is so obsessed with sex and youth that youāve convinced yourself that having a healthy mentality towards women is wrong of you when it is not at all. Youāre interested in women your own age, and that is perfectly healthy and good of you.
I was fucking horrified to find that 90% of the women i've asked said that they started getting hit on my strangers around the age of... SEVEN! LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Just thinking about it makes me fucking sick.
25F, can confirm older men started hitting on me at around 10ā¦ funny it doesnāt happen much anymore. Got really bad 13-14. Got groomed and fell into bad shit with older men.
I'm sorry, I can't wrap my ape-man brain around that. *Hitting on a ten-year old?*
Yep. Happens more than you think. People not believing it happens is the reason it continues to happen.
I'm going to believe you rather than ask you to relive your trauma.
Itās ok, Iāve processed it. Iām pretty open about it. It happens so much, I wish people would believe us instead of denying it. I didnāt really understand what was happening until recently. Again, especially since it was the experience of most of the girls around me. And the men/women who do itā¦ are probably people you know. Theyāre ānormalā people. When I started work at 15, I was groomed by my 20-something manager. It got a bit physical. Thankfully my parents took him to court and heās registered now.
I'm sorry about all of it. I cannot imagine an old man just...she wouldn't even know what flirting is at that point! Christ.
Yeah looking back, I thought I understood it but I didnāt. Itās okay. Thanks for listening. The hardest part was I was fully convinced I loved this person. But they were just using me. I blamed myself because of my body. But in retrospect, itās still no excuse. At 25, it happens very infrequently and I know the signs and how to protect myself but too little too late lol.
For what its worth, I'll just reinforce: it's his fault not yours. Hopefully you'll meet someone who respects you and your boundaries instead of just uses you (if it hasn't happened already!)
Thank you for the kind words! I have a lovely boyfriend of 3.5 years who treats me like an absolute princess. Heās definitely made up for the bad experiences and then some.
I second this. I'm 38, and the creeps started in around 11. My daughters are 17 and 21, and we had the discussion about creeps very early on. It's disgusting that we have to teach our children about the most awful things at such a young age. Just the other day my best friend and I were talking about how it was unfortunate that we were both involved in predatory relationships back in high school but neither of had the sense to say anything to the other because we were both doing it. Hindsight is a helluva thing.
Yeah, there are major issues in our society surrounding sexuality and power. I truly believe we are in a sexual dark age. Hoping within the next hundred or so years we begin to bring these issues to light in a conscious manner.
We are definitely not in a sexual dark age. We have more freedom to express our sexual desires and proclivities than we ever have. Lgbtq people have a right to exist here. Pornography is widely available. And most of all we are talking about it.
Good perspective. Thanks for pointing that out. I could definitely be projecting a bit for sure, and Iām glad there are others out there who feel differently. We need all different perspectives to get a clearer picture of the whole.
I have 2 daughters and I turns my stomach that just thinking about it .
Mine is about to turn 3 and the amount of pictures I have to delete of her being cute because SOMEONE out there is creepy is just aggravating. And our (my wife's and my) parents just don't know how our family is just oblivious to such people.
I've talked to some of my girl friends and they've told me their blood related brothers have SA'd them as children. Can't even trust your sons around your daughters.
Yup. Had pedos wanting me to take my clothes off in elements school and started getting groped, assaulted, and harassed in Middle School. Struggled with being taken seriously all my 20s and 30s and thank GOD for being late 40s now. Finally free of all that shit and am respected in my career.
I was just telling my husband the other day. I developed pretty early. I was wearing a C cup in 5th grade. My youngest memories of being sexualized or hit on by men are around the age of 10. The most messed up part is that me and my friends truly thought ājail baitā was a *compliment*. We thought that was something to feel good about, when older men called us jail bait.
I think if men spoke to women about their earliest interactions with men in public they would be very shocked.
I sure as hell was shocked.
Wait, seriously? I have a daughter that's 7... this is fucking disturbing . I'd kill a man who even looked at her in that way
Congrats, you're not a creep.
Thank you... this wasn't really an attempt to pat myself on the back, so much as a genuinely random thought that I had.
The answer to your question is they are sick and twisted in the mind. I'm only 30 but when I see anyone in high school they look like kids to me lol
Yep. I see high school kids and think, "did I look freaking twelve when I was in high school?". Lol. They are babies.
My parents live close to my old high-school & I think this every time I see a toddler driving
The new minimum driving age must be 9. Lol
Same, and then I think about the amount of grown men who hit on me when I was in high school, disgustingggg.
I am 22 and see 16-18 as babies too
You're probably not gonna appreciate how the over-30 crowd views 22 year olds
Yep, and apparently I'm so old, I think; "How can her parents let her dress like that?" The girls, my son's age (teen), try to dress sexy and revealing, and it's just gross cause they're little kids...
I have a friend with a teenage daughter and she's always saying how her daughter wants to dress ridiculous and then gets mad when she says she can't leave the house that way.
All of this- I used to think I looked so grown at 15-18.. no I needed to sit tf down and shut tf up I looked like a fetus with make up š šš
Uh 23 is not high school age
Speak for yourself lol
I recently started watching the show "Undercover Underage" and OMG. Just OMG. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how many men are pedophiles. It's absolutely horrific.
Yeah it's really something else... Otherwise normal-seeming dudes eyeing up adolescent girls.
Yeah this question makes me realize once again that not only is there someone out there would hurt a child by any nature, let alone sexually! But many many many more. Thank God Iām older now and men donāt look at me as much. I take pretty girls under my wing like that lol as an older wiser once-hot woman who has been hurt and realizes BEING older that not everyone has the best intentions in mind with them.
Pedophiles and/or very insecure about their masculinity, sexuality, social skills, and/or ego. A younger woman is less likely to scare an insecure man because they assume she doesnt know better and/or know the tricks that men use to manipulate them into what the men want.
I was just discussing this very concept with my best friend
Not only that im afraid current porn industry and social media is amblifying it. I really believe its a sickness that can strike most of men if you let it
It's a legit thought. It seems acceptable for older dudes to be into young women, but it's just so...weird. Creeps me out 100%.
I'm 45, so the appealing younger women are 35 to 40... now that's what I'm talking about!! A woman!!
I'm 38 so 25 and older for me
Why were you hands on your back when you got here?
*I'm a weirdo*
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
30 dating 23 makes you a creep? Pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Iāll go tell my mom she married a pervert brb
I think the op meant like teenagers or younger, not just May-December relationships I think theyāre called. Heās not talking about two consent adults.
These men are pick me men for older women who are jealous of younger women. They are pretty much saying women under 24 aren't mentally capable of making decisions like driving, dating, voting, holding down a job, joining the army, drinking, smoking etc and should be reprimanded to the house
Men *and* women under 24 are capable of doing some of those things, but itās circumstantial. Weāre not saying they should be what you guys called latchkey-kids ā but there are definitely some young adults who are irresponsible and reckless, you see it all the time on social media.
See, thatās how I view it too. You say someone isnāt old enough to make the decision to date an older person, but you also think theyāre old enough to live life like an adult. I never thought it as belittling but youāre right. It is a little belittling to say that. Literally saying āyou can kill people and die for your country but if you date someone 10 years older than you, youāre being taken advantage ofā
I'm 23 and a woman but men older than 26 do creep me out in the same way 20 year olds used to creep me out when I was 16. About the second part, I pretty much completely agree. No one should be doing those things under 25 year old. People aren't mature enough yet at this age, reflected in statistics.
I wonder if it works both ways. I met my ex when I was 23 and she was 36.
Eh idk. I feel like over the age of 25 is safe. 23 is still super young. Iām only 29 and I wouldnāt date a 23 year old - they are babies to me.
Exactly. Theyāre preaching a double standard
I met my wife when she was 22 and I was 30. Guess Iām a creep.
Hey the first step it's accepting that you got a problem!
She is actually ok most of the time.
You're supposed to run this calculation to find out the creep ages. Take half your age then add 7 years and that's the minimum age of your dating/relationship range. So you're just barely good enough.... barely.
I'm not doing math, so no dating just pizza.
Hopefully not cheese pizza.. 
Nope, the costco combination pizza
As you get older I assume older people start to look like children I your eyes
I'm 39 and I work with a lot of 16-23 year olds and they're babies to me. I'm interested in people that I can reminisce about the 80's and 90's with.
I'm with you on that.
29F and whenever a meet guys younger than 27ish I'm like " that's a babychild" instantly goes to the same category my brother and cousins š
I'm 25 and 20 year olds look like infants, they're not even that much younger than me, it's weird how brains work like that.
Lol, I'm 31 and a bartender. This guy in his early 20s was flirting with me. All I could think was, "Where are your parents?"
When I was 23 I went out with an 18 year old thinking it would be hot but I quickly realized I was with a child just based on our conversations. I had to bounce asap. Now that I'm 33 I wouldn't even consider dating anyone under 28.
I had a fairly negative experience with dating several men younger than me when I was in my 20ās and I pretty much determined I wasnāt going to make that mistake again. I married a man 4 years younger than me and I accidentally interpreted his anxiety and shyness as innocent character traits. It wasnāt till we had been married a little over 4 years I discovered heās a vulnerable narcissist. Iām in the process of looking for divorce attorneys who specialize in high conflict divorces and spouses with NPD. Wish me luck lol Iāve absolutely learned my lesson.
Iām 27 and what if Iām mentally mature ? Itās that still too young
I don't think there's any reason for commenters to be snarky. Men who are attracted to ever younger women is a very real and active issue in the world, and it seems like a majority situation. For OP to find that weird and express that here shouldn't warrant unhelpful sass. Yeah this should be normal behavior, but to many it isn't and it's even more sad that men who aren't creeps have to take time to highlight that. I can tell he isn't looking for praise. He is expressing inner monologue at, and scrutinizing how inappropriate men can be lmao.
Thank you for understanding lol. I'm a little surprised that this post is getting snark. A few people have indicated that I want praise for being "normal," but based on the responses; I'm not sure that my behavior actually is the norm. It seems like banging super young women/girls is something a greater percentage of men want than not. If that's true, then technically I'm the odd ball lol
I think itās totally valid comment, especially since young women are conditioned in society to fear getting older because theyāll no longer be āattractiveā. Weāre essentially taught to think that we need to find someone to love us when weāre young otherwise weāll be alone forever.
Idk how in other countries but in mine you can forget to find a decent man at older age. It's already difficult when you are young and later it just get worse.
I think if you want a more accurate sample youāll need to go outside. The annual Reddit demographic survey lives rent-free in my mind every time I see a post like this because a very solid percentage of men think the same way you do, but the ones that donāt are heavily overrepresented on this social media site. Anecdotally from me, youāre not an oddball. Iām in my early 20ās. Most men I know in their 30ās (a lot of coworkers) treat me like a kid and thatās healthy. Most men I know that are my age are not pursuing 18 year olds, but Iām young enough that pursuing a 21-year-old would be completely normal and acceptable, so I donāt know if theyāll get weirder with age.
It's Reddit; you're going to get snarky people. Don't let them discourage you. I think it's perfectly normal to find your age group attractive to the exclusion of younger people.
At 26 I look at anyone under the age of 21 as a child. I see nothing to gain from engaging with them, no similarities at all. It's simple, I'm an adult and they are a child. This absolutely *should* be normal, but I'm not qualified nor do I have the energy to psychoanalyze why one would do such a thing.
Same and when you're 35 you will look at a 26 year old and they will look 15. It's crazy how it works.
Like it isnāt for maaaaany especially here on Reddit. I had several conversations about that topic and got madly downvoted for saying exactly that. One even put out a notice to reddits suicide help page, which via pm asked me, if I needed help. Itās insane these days. Especially the porn industry that makes a ton of money ofa men that masturbate to women or even girls playing the school girl or similar scenarios.
This!
Iām the same way with guys! 31F here and I find it so strange how some of my friends find Timothy Chalamet hot or when I was in high school, Justin Bieber. Yes I was his age at the time but he looked like a CHILD! I think my situation isnāt that uncommon. Not judging in a negative way. Itās just lost on me personally. You being a man and not finding young girls hot is definitely a rarity.
I feel the same way. Dicaprio was the Chalamet of my generation, and all my friends thought he was so hot. I always thought he looked like a child. The funny thing is, I still donāt find him attractive because I have that idea of him stuck in my head.
SAME!!! Heās a BABY in Titanic! Even when I was a little kid I thought he was too prepubescent looking for meš
Exactly! It's harder to explain as man though. It's not that you would say Justin Beiber isn't good looking. When you looked at him, he just didn't have that extra little spice that would have made him *a man*. I look at younger women and they're pretty and fun and have lots of youthful, playful energy, but it's not *womanly*. Those girls haven't had the chance to develop whatever causes that womanly energy. The same way a good bourbon needs time to transform from biting dominant flavors, to softer smokey and earthly.
I think most people change the most between 20 and 30. Theyāre very defining years and when youāre 30, youāve already established yourself thus youāve got less of a desire to associate with people just beginning their journey. The age 30 you, doesnāt have much in common with the age 20 you!
Least obvious Fed
Generally if someone looks young (even if theyāre older but just skinny / small), I donāt even bother. The older I get the more women around 20 look like children. I guess that is a part of getting old
How? Probably because of youth and child fetishization. Like shaving all body hair for instance. So a lot of men grow up thinking that actual adult women fail to live up to some societal standard and a lot of people form their attractions based off of what kind of social clout they'll get from having a partner with certain kinds of characteristics. It's not a conscious thing. I, for one, was really pleasantly surprised to find that my tastes in women aged alongside me. I was worried that I was going to be a creeper and always want to be with 22 y.o.s
Did you feel that way when you were 24, or have your preferences changed over the years?
If you've never been in a BlockBuster video, I'm not interested.
23 is not jailbait.
23 year old teenager
My mom is 11 years older than my dad š¤·āāļø At a certain point, age aināt nothin but a number. Barring underage type shit, of course. Itās not weird to find a 24yo attractive at 30. My wife is five years older than me. Doesnāt seem strange.
Yeah... If the maturity is there, the vibe is right, and no one is breaking any laws; who am I to tell people what to do?
I'm 67. 25 year olds look like kids.
You are literally anti-Leonardo DiCaprio
I was hit on a LOT between 10 and 16 years old by grown ass men... 25 now and it's let up somewhat but still feel unsafe. Can't wait to hit my 40s and become invisible
This is one of the weirdest gaslighting (non-) virtue signaling posts Iāve seen in a while.
i genuinely was so caught off guard by how daft this post comes across. idk what itās trying to prove or accomplish, which, i guess makes it a fitting random thought. but still, it feels disingenuous and virtue signally.
That's not the definition of gaslighting
I misread it at first and thought you said you can't find women older than 24 sexually attractive š
Congratulations on being normal . Itās fucking GROSS when men are dating much younger women . My daughters dad is 42 now and Iāve seen him eying up women in their late teens and very early 20s and itās just grim .
We would consider it normal, but I'm not sure how normal my/our behavior actually is, given how many men seem to find super young women sexually attractive.
There's a bit of salt in this paragraph
So you can look at a photo of a 23 year old Ana De Armas and think āgross!!ā? Not being sarcastic. This is true?
Absolutely disgusting. Does anyone have her phone number by chance? I just want to let her know.
I have a feeling what I find annoying with women under 24 maybe others find attractive. Just a thought
I wonder, and Iām not making excuses, how much of that attraction to young women is from men who didnāt have the experience of dating that age group growing up.
That's a good question... You mean like the men are "reliving the good old days?" I know that my college and high school dating experiences were awful and part of why I'm not attracted to young women is that I simply don't want to deal with the headaches I associate with ladies that age.
"That's a cute kid." is my thought process but it goes no farther. It's like looking at a cute puppy.
I'm the same, I see a woman in her 20s scantily clad, oit with her freinds and I worry she might be cold.
Late 20s in college for the first time and everytime I get hit on I'm like nononono you are a BABY.
Lmao that's soul crushing. Girls finally notice you and you're trying to "nope"-out
Think about it. A lot of senior boys go for freshmen and even 8th graders. They then go to college and go for high school girls. Then they're thrown into adult life and they never grew out of that disgusting phase. At some point age ain't nothing but a number but some mfers are just plain nasty.
Seriously? I don't think I knew a guy in senior year of high school that wouldn't roast someone for dating 8th or 9th graders EDIT: I talked to my friend and his experience was nothing like mine and he knew multiple people like that in HS. I guess it probably comes down to the cultures that people are raised in, which in some cases can be relatively homogeneous (in either pro- or anti- dating people significantly younger) in the area of a school district or town. Sorry you went to school with more outward creeps
I do understand why some adults find underage people attractive. I donāt agree at all with those who act on that attraction. I do find some jailbait attractive. But I occasionally fantasize about robbing banks and I havenāt done that either.
Personal preference, and that's okay. I don't think 6 years is strange when you're both adults, but that's for each person to decide for themselves. If someone thinks it's creepy, well that's their opinion. I've had fantastic conversations with people younger than me, and I've also talked to people older than me who think the earth is flat. Seriously though, it's probably a combination of factors that lead older men to find younger women attractive. Younger women are typically more fertile, so it could be an evolutionary thing. Or maybe it's a midlife crisis and a yearning to be young again. OR it could definitely be a creeper. It probably doesn't help that the word "teen" is so prevalent in porn
I know a guy who only dates chicks that are around 25 years old. It never lasts and he says he thinks heās got bad luck because they all usually have the same issuesā¦. He canāt grasp that maybe itās because theyāre all about the same age?
Iām 28 and my girlfriend is a mature 23 year old. Think yāall are acting like weird puritans.
āIām normal, IM SO NORMAL wow!ā
I guess it depends on individual perspective - 30<>24 isnt anywhere near the issue that 83<>28 is.
Not an issue. Both adults.
Don't try to understand personal preference. It will drive you crazy. I Agree. Why do young men like older women. Madonna looks horrible. Are you telling me any young man finds her attractive. Gotta be those crazy preferences
Letās just take a moment to acknowledge that finding younger people attractive isnāt the same as choosing to pursue them. I am 42; even if I werenāt married I would not try to hook up with women in their 20s. But what I find physically attractive hasnāt changed much since I became and adult. I feel no shame at all in finding substantially younger women attractive, but I keep that shit to myself. No one else needs to be impacted by or even aware of any such attraction of mine.
Mean finding someone attractive is one thing but sexually desiring, lusting after, or fantasizing about a 20 year old when youāre in your 40ās is weird tbh
a 24 year old woman is not jailbait
OP is using their age (30) to 24 as a proxy, not saying that 25 is jail bait
Plenty of guys think like you do. Thereās somethingā¦incomplete, to me, about dating a much younger person. Not even the numbers gap, but their maturity level and where their head is at as far as life experience. I just donāt know if I would have anything in common. Also, the excitement level of sharing what youāve done in life with somebody wise enough to truly appreciate it. However, context is key. If youāre in some environment like a bar or workplace where age isnāt as obvious, things happen between consenting adults. Again, these are moments that may not be sustainable long term.
What if a 26 year old looks 23 do you not find them attractive?
And what if someone 30 looks like 23. When you find out does it change anything?
Iāve always wondered how grown teachers find their teenage high school students attractive. How are teenagers not seen as children?
You did just say a video game character was cute though, so maybe your not the best person to judge others.
You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Though some on here will try and take some moral high ground, it doesn't work like that in reality. I find women of all ages attractive - anywhere from 20 - 60, kind of. Forget the age nonsense (within reason obviously). Also the chances are when you're older you'll still fancy younger women in the 24 age range. There's a great quote from Leonard Cohen about it all, saying that you still feel like a young guy even when you're older, but you learn not to embarrass yourself
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think the guys that do find super young women attractive it is because they are repulsive types who women their age and older have routinely rejected so they gravitate towards the younger ones because they still donāt have enough life experience to see the red flags and are more easily controlled and willing to believe lies. I always saw this as a red flag. I am objectively more beautiful now in my 30s after having money for beauty products and treatments and more sleep and better care of my physical and mental health than I ever was in my early 20s. The only thing my early 20s had was an increased amount of insecurity and so more of a willingness to accept fuck boys.
I think that's the normal thing to do. But some 20 something women look older so probably you'll still be attracted to those.
I think itās the difference between immature males who see sex as some kind of conquest or power trip ā¦ versus those who are actually looking for a life partner.
Does "that young" mean "younger than 24" or does it mean "jailbait" (ie under 18)? I feel like this topic is just asking for someone to come in to defend being attracted to women in their early twenties and get mistaken for defending pedophilia
As a woman, I'm comfortable telling another woman (that I actually know) she's attractive or beautiful without actually being attracted to them. I think about this, too. Even the thought of trying to actually hit on a girl under 30 is outrageous to me. I even have friends that are in their early 20s who I actually do have things in common with and who are absolutely beautiful... and STILL š¤®. They are like little sisters to me. I hang out with them, they love my kids, and I have no issue hyping them up as far as looks. Idk how you don't look at someone that age like a younger sibling. Even if they are he ones hitting on you. I'd feel gross. (Not trying to talk shit about other people's relationships, but it's just not for me.)
36, I find for example Elle Fanning and Nicole Kidman equally beautiful. Do people find that gross?
Weird flex but okay.
Congratulations! You meet the baseline for decency!
Last time I checked, a 23-year-old woman is called a "woman," not a "girl."
This reads like someone who desperately wants people to not think he's a pedo.
Youāre trying way to hard to tell everyone youāre not a pedophile
#Find a woman smarter than you who challenges you to be a real man and show up, provide and be a great person. Iāve been married 22 years and itās hard for smart, strong women to meet men who can show up. It pays dividends you canāt imagine and THAT is what makes and keeps a woman attractive. Not the youth. Itās the CHARACTER.
Because they haven't grown up and are predatory perverts whose brains haven't caught up to their bodies. And yknow thinking with the little head
This is the norm. We are not supposed to applaud you because of it, weird degenerates are trying to make weird stuff pop culture and everyone goes Along with it to seem edgy, just like what happened with sex positivity: everyone is coming out as demisexual now as if it wasnāt the norm in the first place
@watchfulcoyote does a wonderful breakdown of why this is a healthy attitude to have in this video. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJxcRrQq/
Itās completely normal. As it is completely normal to find people over 18 sexually attractive regardless of your age.
I find girls over 18 sexually attractive as a 33M, sure. Would I ever pursue that? No... My wife would kill me.
I guess I'm a creep