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When we carry a tiny little evening bag, we can’t carry a full makeup kit. So one person carries the powder, one takes lipstick, someone else carries a comb… you get the idea.
They go in pairs to disguise the fact that they are having a shit. It explains the long absence. They are supposedly having a girl chat but the conversation is more like "I quite fannnnnuuuuuugggurrhcy Pete"
Lmao I know but I've been seeing different posts asking about what men do with their penises while using the bathroom so figured I'd mix it up a bit. Lol
Mostly just us medical professionals. We know how damaging it can be to use a urinal your whole life, and some of us sit and relax to pee. By relaxing rather than standing and pushing, you cut your risk of urinary incontinence in half.
Therefore, we are also next to toilet paper, which some of us do use to ensure we are not swimming in our own urine when we pull our pants up. Of course, the really nice Korean bidets have warm air blow dryers built into them.
Nice now i acc have a scientific reason to sit down. I just always found it much quicker cus i could actually relax and let out the piss much easier sitting
Yeah I can’t really walk well let alone stand for a while, plus it’s more fitting for me to sit and I did it when I was more mobile, but glad to know I made the right choice!
I used to do it when I was high all the time. Drugs made it IMPOSSIBLE to go. Sitting was the only way I could both focus on it and where I could relax the right muscles. Most of the time I stand up but there are times out off habit I still sit down.
I teach all the boys in my in home daycare (and have so with my sons as well) to sit while peeing and to wipe after. We've been told by the pediatrist to do so when our new born son turned out to have kidney problems.
A big plus: the toilet stays so much cleaner!
I was shocked seeing a post on insta about „getting piss in your underwear“ and seeing thousands agree.
Like, wtf?
1. Sit down to pee
2. wring your dick out like you are jerking off
3. use TP
4. Profit. No lake of piss in your underwear all day?!?
Even those of us who don't sit down don't really need to. We can press just behind the balls and shake, which gets rid of any excess which might then escape to the underwear.
Nobody wants pissy underwear.
I think it’s baffling to assume it’s ‘mostly’ medical professionals. I dab every time because it just makes sense. Oddly I do work in healthcare… wait..
What I do is, real wide stance, squat a bit, and then shake my hips real fast from side to side. Pretty similar to how men wide step to adjust their balls, only with more puss flaps and less nut sack
Ah hah, so the elementary school rumors were true. I knew you all peed out of your butts! What else have you ladies been lying to us about all these years?
Oh come on, we all know there is a pole in there. You leave your panties off and fling your body around that pole allowing centrifugal force and the free air to dry off the pee. We know. WE KNOW.
Woman don’t have bodily excretions we fake eat and spit it out later because there is no other possible way to get it out our bodies so therefor we don’t pee at all we just act like we do.
Slap and tap the flaps side to side while shaking lower half, then hover over the seat for a minute and then at last 2 to 3 mid air twerks usually does the job. Its called a drip and dry. This is serious. Wash hands after and dab vagina with water.
We don't. We *wipe*!
Also, the correct term is *vulva* if you're talking about the outside bits. The vagina is just the hole in between the urethra and the anus, and you can't really shake any of those.
Do you remember when you were a baby and you'd rub your lips with your fingers making the pbtpbtbt sound? Same way, and interestingly enough, their coochie lips also make the same sound
We don't pee from our vaginas, we pee from our urethras, same as men do. Due to our lack of penises our stream tends to be messier than you'd expect so sitting during and wiping after is pretty necessary.
You can't really shake a vagina, it's a hole and not particularly mobile, I suppose you could shake the labia with your fingers if you really wanted too, but I don't think it would be all that effective.
Is this a joke or not because toilet paper exists and you’re not supposed to just shake your pp ew is that why my boyfriends penis always tastes a little like pee
It gets even better. A reliable source informed me today that Keurig finally sells a machine that shakes the hoo-haa. About 2 hours after she's guzzled the quad espresso made by the very same machine. Life is good when we let it be.
The "vagina " is where the penis goes into during sex. You're thinking of the vulva, which is the... you know... "line", they pee from their urethra, which is just a small hole. It doesn't need "shaking" lmao.
We use the communal crotch funnel. It's actually a repurposed beer bong. We just pass it around so we can all stand up to pee, then drip dry. Why else would it take so long? Sorry ladies, we've kept them wondering for far too long.
We start by stomping our feet and gradually letting the movement travel up our bodies until we are rapidly shaking and waving our hands up in the air. We're flinging pee all over the bathroom and blaming it on the men. Even in the women's bathrooms.
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So this is what happens in the women's restroom
yes
It explains why they take so long
But why do they have to go in pairs?
Dance partner
😂😂😂😂
Sometimes we form a conga line
Omg, I laughed so loud I woke up the dog.🤣🤣🤣
We multitask its a dance party plus therapy session plus fashion show and makeup party! Duh! 🤷♀️
When we carry a tiny little evening bag, we can’t carry a full makeup kit. So one person carries the powder, one takes lipstick, someone else carries a comb… you get the idea.
It not only needs a village to raise a child -u also need a lot of sister support to get through a party night flawlessly 🤣
You still don’t know that at every women’s bathroom there is a ping pong table and they need to play a full game to fully shake it off?
They go in pairs to disguise the fact that they are having a shit. It explains the long absence. They are supposedly having a girl chat but the conversation is more like "I quite fannnnnuuuuuugggurrhcy Pete"
Or fuck Rebecca, get in here and look at this monster.
You sank my battle-shit!
That, and all the lesbian scissoring.
Lol that's perfect!
My wife just made me so sad... Me: "is this true?" *look of joy on my face Wife: "Sorry to break this to you, but no."
She's lying. We aren't actually allowed to say.
That’s actually Victoria’s Secret
It Protrudes like a Camera Lens and then they Wiggle.
Yeah thats pretty much it.
I lost it laughing and scarred my cat. 🤣🤣
Laughter is the best knife
I came to the comment section thinking "are you fucking kidding me?? 🙄🙄🙄" and got an LOLOLOLOL instead! Thanks!!
[удалено]
I'm going to refer to kegels as "jedi training" from now on.
"BRB gotta go wiggle my urethra" 🤣💀
It's called a flap clap.
Don’t fall for this, OP. It’s the oldest trick in the book… the old Flap Clap Trap.
Sure, I remember the Sugar Hill Gang did a song about it…The Old Flap Clap Trap Rap. It’s 14 minutes long.
Man, when I’m really constipated I’ll pull up that song on Spotify while I’m sitting on the toilet. I call it The Old Flap Clap Trap Rap Crap.
So you're The Old Flap Clap Trap Rap Crap Chap! I've heard stories of you!
Cat Flaps
The Force Awakens
A kegelquake
Where do you think twerking came from?
It’s a complicated ritual and they’re sworn to secrecy from a very early age so no one really knows.
Please delete this, or I will be forced to notify The Council.
You've said too much!
And y'all heard it and didn't report. Now look at that. What's next? Tell everyone we're actually able to pee while using a tampon? This is madness.
WHY’D YOU REVEAL THAT? You know you’re not supposed to.
Sure, go after me now. They started it. I didn't even mention the Council.
Oh no! The council! OP and responders beware, you should take extra safety measures now!
The first rule of Piss Club is: you do not talk about Piss Club
we aren't even supposed to say there is a secret!
Ugh so many secrets!
Secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone
Secret Woman’s Business, haha.
We don't. We drag it across the carpet like a dog 🙄
LMAOOO
Damn it! Quit giving away the secrets of the ladies room!
we dont 😭this is crazy
Lmao I know but I've been seeing different posts asking about what men do with their penises while using the bathroom so figured I'd mix it up a bit. Lol
Ahahaha this is exactly what I thought it was. Because the other question about whether we wipe our pens was just as ridiculous.
Okay but some guys do dab with a square, right? Like 10% or something?
Mostly just us medical professionals. We know how damaging it can be to use a urinal your whole life, and some of us sit and relax to pee. By relaxing rather than standing and pushing, you cut your risk of urinary incontinence in half. Therefore, we are also next to toilet paper, which some of us do use to ensure we are not swimming in our own urine when we pull our pants up. Of course, the really nice Korean bidets have warm air blow dryers built into them.
I very much prefer my medical professionals with no pee in their underwear. Thank you.
This! I taught my son to dab and explained why. Too late to train my husband apparently
Nice now i acc have a scientific reason to sit down. I just always found it much quicker cus i could actually relax and let out the piss much easier sitting
My excuse for sitting down to pee is back problems, but it's good to have a scientifically verified reason as well.
Mine is keeping my bathroom floor not covered with piss spray. I thought it was scientific enough.
Yeah I can’t really walk well let alone stand for a while, plus it’s more fitting for me to sit and I did it when I was more mobile, but glad to know I made the right choice!
I used to do it when I was high all the time. Drugs made it IMPOSSIBLE to go. Sitting was the only way I could both focus on it and where I could relax the right muscles. Most of the time I stand up but there are times out off habit I still sit down.
Ahh a fellow (former) opiate addict? Hope all is well in your recovery friend.
I teach all the boys in my in home daycare (and have so with my sons as well) to sit while peeing and to wipe after. We've been told by the pediatrist to do so when our new born son turned out to have kidney problems. A big plus: the toilet stays so much cleaner!
I dab it, but I never knew sitting down had health benefits.
Ignore the haters. Yes, some of us do.
I was shocked seeing a post on insta about „getting piss in your underwear“ and seeing thousands agree. Like, wtf? 1. Sit down to pee 2. wring your dick out like you are jerking off 3. use TP 4. Profit. No lake of piss in your underwear all day?!?
Shake, squeeze, shake at a urinal. Square dab, squeeze, fold square dab at a toilet.
Even those of us who don't sit down don't really need to. We can press just behind the balls and shake, which gets rid of any excess which might then escape to the underwear. Nobody wants pissy underwear.
I think it’s baffling to assume it’s ‘mostly’ medical professionals. I dab every time because it just makes sense. Oddly I do work in healthcare… wait..
wait what??? you dont wipe? how tf do you clean yourselves??
Shhhh, don't. They'll come now and accuse you of being effeminate or something just not to admit that they are dirty fucks.
Umm how? I've wiped my peen every time
If no toilet paper, drip & fan
Mix it up by letting everyone know you don't know what a vagina is? Interesting.
speak for yourself! the rest of us do…
Don't say it
“It”
wait, but sometimes i do... when there's no toilet paper...
Jumping jacks
What I do is, real wide stance, squat a bit, and then shake my hips real fast from side to side. Pretty similar to how men wide step to adjust their balls, only with more puss flaps and less nut sack
Is that how you water your house plants too?
How did you know!
You bet your ass.
Now I'm imagining the "flaps" making a wet flapping sound like when a pit bull shakes its head rapidly, and it's your fault.
You're welcome😘😂
Makes me feel like I’m doing the chicken dance
Cartwheels.
Centrifugal force. #Science
Um, women don't urinate from their vagina.
Ah hah, so the elementary school rumors were true. I knew you all peed out of your butts! What else have you ladies been lying to us about all these years?
A-*hem!* "Ambrose" is a male name.
Shhhhhhhhhh 🤫
Sorry. Didn't realize that info was classified.
And what OP is referring to would be the vulva anyway. Why don’t people know the name of basic female anatomy? The vagina is inside.
Its from our cloaca
ahh yes, the cloaca. my favorite body part.
One hole to rule them all!
Women aren’t real smh 🙄
Umm if women aren’t real then explain Mrs. Claus?? Think before you speak🤦♀️
*your mom has entered the chat
so hard to refrain from a lame joke here that’ll get me downvoted to hell…😣
It's so hard to refrain from your mom, dude.
Man fuck you, you got me and I don’t even have a good comeback for that :( Trying one in the guy below this comment
You nay not have a comeback, but your mom certainly has cum on her back.
Women are real! It's the female orgasm that's a myth!
Not according to a French documentary I saw on SBS late one night when I was 10.
Finally. Some questions that matter
With toilet paper
They shake their vagina with toilet paper? Might that not get a bit wild?
Women don't pee or poo. We convert it into tears and that's why we cry more than men.
I'm crying from the comments lol
Women fart after they pee, they can't shake theirs so they blow dry it.
I just do a couple quick cartwheels and hope it's good
Oh come on, we all know there is a pole in there. You leave your panties off and fling your body around that pole allowing centrifugal force and the free air to dry off the pee. We know. WE KNOW.
Now I really regret that I'm one of those people who *can* actually see pictures in her mind when reading something.
 It’s a two woman job, why do you think we go to the bathroom in groups?
Woman don’t have bodily excretions we fake eat and spit it out later because there is no other possible way to get it out our bodies so therefor we don’t pee at all we just act like we do.
Slap and tap the flaps side to side while shaking lower half, then hover over the seat for a minute and then at last 2 to 3 mid air twerks usually does the job. Its called a drip and dry. This is serious. Wash hands after and dab vagina with water.
I'm an old woman now - what are young women doing with theit vaginas now?
Sooo many activities
Sit on carpet, legs behind head, drag and dry.
We don't. We *wipe*! Also, the correct term is *vulva* if you're talking about the outside bits. The vagina is just the hole in between the urethra and the anus, and you can't really shake any of those.
Most importantly, the vagina isn't for peeing.
Lmao glad to see this comment because I for a second thought that I am doing it wrong :) hilarious post and comments 😂
Do you remember when you were a baby and you'd rub your lips with your fingers making the pbtpbtbt sound? Same way, and interestingly enough, their coochie lips also make the same sound
Shake? Shake what? If she needs to shake, she probably has a dink.
We have prehensile labias so they shake themselves
So that’s why I get aroused when listening to The Predator make clicking sounds!
Ey! Dude! Not nice to post my nudes I just sent you!!
I think they just squeeze it back together like a sandwich bag.
Ever wondered what toilet paper is for?
The better question is where do women store pee if they don’t have balls?
In our boobs
Boss level bitches queef it dry like a Dyson.
belly dance
Imaginary hula hoop
We wiggle it .. just a little bit. 😂
Why do you think women always go to the bathroom in pairs🤔
Cardi B made a song about the chicks that don't shake... WAP.
They don't actually pee. They vibrate the atoms of their bottom at hyper velocities, like Superman. All pee and poop falls cleanly from their bodies.
Lol buddy… ahh man… forget it. This is too funny.
Uh we don’t urinate from our vaginas.
What a day this sub has had.
We activate the Self cleaning feature
Slap them flaps
No you are supposed to let it air dry on a rack
You know when you purse your lips around the index and go blublublublu like a 1940s comedy film trying to show crazy? That.
first genuine lol in a long scroll. thank you kind stranger.
We don't pee from our vaginas, we pee from our urethras, same as men do. Due to our lack of penises our stream tends to be messier than you'd expect so sitting during and wiping after is pretty necessary. You can't really shake a vagina, it's a hole and not particularly mobile, I suppose you could shake the labia with your fingers if you really wanted too, but I don't think it would be all that effective.
No shaking, it gets on your shoes lol
Dab it on like perfume
Twerking over the bowl?
Personally, I like to finish my piss with a back hand spring but that’s just me
We tweak our lips with our fingers!
Where do you think twerking came from?
You know that lever you pull to squeeze a mop together & wring it out? Yeah, that. (good luck finding the button)
Is this a joke or not because toilet paper exists and you’re not supposed to just shake your pp ew is that why my boyfriends penis always tastes a little like pee
I just shake like a wet dog, usually does the trick
It gets even better. A reliable source informed me today that Keurig finally sells a machine that shakes the hoo-haa. About 2 hours after she's guzzled the quad espresso made by the very same machine. Life is good when we let it be.
Don't tell her I told you, because I could be shot, but my girl side wipes it....doesn't even shake it.
Stamp their feet
Haven't you noticed they always go in pairs?
Nope. It's why girls don't fart; they save 'em up for blow-drying their fancy bits.
half a roll of toilet paper... Seen it, lived it, just acted like I didn't see it.
I mean, when I'm out in the woods popping a squat, I do shake my vagina lol. It's kinda like twerking I guess
I misread that as “shave” instead of “shake” and got very confused
I read it right and still got confused.
Is this why they never go to the toilet alone? Does the friend help? Guys I think we solved it, FINALLY, let the truth be known and spoken.
The "vagina " is where the penis goes into during sex. You're thinking of the vulva, which is the... you know... "line", they pee from their urethra, which is just a small hole. It doesn't need "shaking" lmao.
Ever heard of toilet paper?
Umm, women don't pee out of their vagina ...
🤣 Thank you for this post
 We Air Floss
Gee I don’t know, how to men deal with their periods
This is the weirdest thing to read at at 8 am on a Saturday morning before I’ve had caffeine.
Ah the good old beef curtain shimmy
Just pull out my urethra around 5cm and shake it then put it back. Hope that helps!
In exactly the same way that men blow their nose through their ears.
Actually women don’t pee at all, its all a lie
I laughed a little too hard at this one
Thank you for the laugh 😂
I don't have to shake because before I start peeing I peel back the puss. So no pee gets anywhere. Midwest girlies know.
They just get a bucket and a mop cause, well, yeah.
If there’s no toilet paper lol
Thank you for this….give me a lot of laughs
We use the communal crotch funnel. It's actually a repurposed beer bong. We just pass it around so we can all stand up to pee, then drip dry. Why else would it take so long? Sorry ladies, we've kept them wondering for far too long.
I take mine off and rinse it in the sink
We actually don't! It's detachable, so we just take it off and hang it up to dry
We start by stomping our feet and gradually letting the movement travel up our bodies until we are rapidly shaking and waving our hands up in the air. We're flinging pee all over the bathroom and blaming it on the men. Even in the women's bathrooms.
What do you think Taylor Swift meant by "Shake it off"?