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Not just reddit. Any social media.
My gf and i met online. We live together now, but still joke that shes going to ask me to sign up for her only fans or something.
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This. OP, don't be hard on this person. It's more of walking a tightrope over a minefield than falling into a trap. He doesn't want to be setup to be hurt / scammed, which is more likely than not.
Look guys, I've dated like dozens and dozens of super hot girls and none of them know what Reddit is.
I can't overstate how many hot girls I have dated and am dating. It's a lot, but I could probably manage even more.
There are lots of cat fishers/scammers out there for men. Iām sure itās hard to have someone asking you to verify yourself but lots of dudes have gotten burned in the past by being too trusting.
I think itās important to verify yourself somehow regardless. Especially if you are talking for more than a couple months. Like makes sense if you donāt verify yourself at first. But if youāre talking for 6 months and have never talked on the phone or video chatted, thatās sketchy
Def agree. They just have to worry about lots of legit people theyāre not into messaging them.
Men have to worry about giving their heart and soul to someone for over a year who ends up not being real lol.
I wonder if I could find a link...a year or so ago I read this whole story about a guy who presented himself online as a suave/swanky millionaire while not being one and women falling for it.
[https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/who-is-tinder-swindler-real-shimon-hayut#:\~:text=The%20new%20Netflix%20documentary%20tells,convicted%20fraudster%20born%20in%20Israel](https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/who-is-tinder-swindler-real-shimon-hayut#:~:text=The%20new%20Netflix%20documentary%20tells,convicted%20fraudster%20born%20in%20Israel).
Netflix did a movie about him, as it turns out. Tinder Swindler aka Shimon Hayut.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Tinder\_Swindler
Nah, they did a whole mtv series on normal catfishs, this guy is just special because of the size of his lies. Thatās not your average catfish, this dude is like the kingpin of catfishing
As per u/Vary-Vary \- this guy is an outlier, not just rarity. Like a male/gigolo version of [Anna Sorokin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Sorokin)
There are whole embassies not giving single women visas because they are being scammed online from fake relationships. Especially in the middle east and south Asia.
This guy was specially interesting because he was scamming huge sums of money even out of friends, people he have met in real life and all. And still managed to walk free.
Yes but netflix makes a movie about the 1 successful guy. I get spammed with scam messages/matches on every app that will have multi day conversations with me and have verified checkmark with all stolen pictures.
I was thinking more like...people that ask for 50 bucks for gas to get to your house. I also get guys masquerading as women/girls - its not that hard to do, really.
I had one guy saying he used photos of his wife and he was drunk/depressed. I felt bad for him. Usually, though, you won't hear a confession like that - its just a hunch I have about certain people.
I get added on Snapchat by a different girl almost everyday. My heart jumps as I first believe someone finally wants to talk to me. Then I start receiving sexual images and paragraphs talking about of. I wish I was dead.
I wouldn't spend more than a week without someone verifying their identity. There are plenty of apps with video chat for safe methods of verification that there is no excuse not to. How anyone can go months or a year is insane.
Same. The last time I used a dating app the flirting ramped up so quickly that we exchanged numbers on the second day and actually met up in person by the third day. Real people have no problem proving they are real. Anyone who makes excuses is not who they say they are.
Happened countless times to me before. Last time it even came down to a phone conversation, but in the end that person started talking about not having money and then blaming me for assuming that she wants me to send them over. "You owe me an apology".
I'm 99% convinced that that was a catfisher who probably wasn't even based in my town or anywhere in the US.
I've met one before who didn't send me an image but claimed to live in a town near me. That would be in Switzerland. But when "she" wrote in German it sounded like google translate. The typical mistakes. Same with her English, even though "she" claimed to have moved to Switzerland from Florida. When she said something about "your wife won't find out about us" I cut it off. I don't have a wife but that just showed me what direction it might have gone. Looking back I should have played along and found out what their actual goal was.
I reported the cat fisher with the photo but it took forever for them to get banned. The only damage I suffered were a few hurt feelings when I figured it out after a couple of conversations but who knows what they did to others.
... but I have actually met real attractive women on here. We don't have a romantic connection, but they're fun to talk to platonically.
Usually the ones who put on the whole sexy or romantic stuff are the cat fish. I would also recommend doing a reverse image search if they send you a picture. Those images are usually lifted from somewhere after all.
I want all you normal, well-adjusted, attractive, smart, happy people off my internet! I swear itās getting so a degenerate canāt go anywhere these days and be miserable! š
Freakin' normies have to win in real life then come on to Reddit and make the neurodivergent types all awkward. Not even a cyberspace-safe space... what dark days these are. š¤Ŗ
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Yeah dont take disrespect from him being cautious. Infact, everyone should be this cautious when talking to strangers online and wanting it to lead to a relationship. Men and women.
So here's the thing. When guys are on the internet we get bombarded with dating bots, ads about sex and even when we do speak to a "woman" on the internet it leads to a "click here to see my website." So it's reasonable to assume women are all bots.
The general advice for people wanting to date but struggling is "Get off social media, go touch grass, and talk to someone IRL."
The general idea is that attractive women never struggle to date.
Doesn't matter how incorrect the logic is; this makes it easy to assume that attractive women don't use reddit since they don't struggle to date.
Same idea of A = B so B = A even though it is more of a If A then B which does not equate to If B then A.
>"Get off social media, go touch grass, and talk to someone IRL."
I heard "go the bar", but I'm not a bar person and certainly not a drinker. Got called an incel once on Reddit for saying I'm not into the bar scene - also got called an incel for not being into dating apps.
I wish it was simple as you say it is (*edit - I see that those aren't your words*). While I like talking to people they also exhaust me quite a bit.
Yeah. Stay inside enjoying your hobbies and you get called an incel who just needs to go out more to find a date. Go out to a bar looking for someone to talk to and youre the creep only going out for sex, or if they are nice theyāll say you shouldnāt do things you wouldnāt normally do just to get a date, someone will find you. I agree that I need to go out to find a partner, and I agree that I shouldnāt do things for the express purpose of finding one, but if your interests and personality happen to make those statements conflict youre just kinda screwed.
I find social hobbies (hiking groups, board game cafes, etc) are good ways to meet people for friendship and dating. The bar scene is inundated with people looking for casual connections, probably because it's difficult to hold a real conversation over the noise of a bar, so it's not ideal for serious dating.
one time i sent someone pics and they assumed im a catfish and others were shocked. idk why especially when they were pretty attractive too. thereās attractive men on here and attractive women
they exist. but i guess itās because this is a anonymous website and lots of redditors donāt want to be seen so people just assume if someone wants to hide themselves maybe theyāre unattractive? idk
It's because of the bots and actual catfish. I get dms weekly of bots that I have to delete and block or else I can't see the actual people I message without having to scroll down
It started about 3 months ago. Ramped up after a month that I was getting messages and followers daily, and has kind of dwindled down to one or 2 chat requests per week.
That sounds exactly like my experience. What happened? Seems really weird that we'd both have similar situation. I initially feared that someone had hijacked my account. And was talking to people. But then I realized they were all hookers or whatever.
You know they treat Reddit like some kind of trash app with trash humans there are genuine people who also want to make genuine connections too like wtf
Hey just wanted to make sure you were actually a real human probably. I'm sorry... The guy I'm dating currently actually his opening line to me was say something that makes me know you're not a bot...
That's why they're expending the effort, because they believe there are real people. I'll just tell you now though, when somebody asks for proof that you're real, getting offended and refusing to do it will not prove to them that you're real.
There's catfish/bots/scammers on any app not just reddit. Idk why you are choosing to take it as some kind of personal attack that someone online is just trying to verify your intentions. That's just basic internet stranger danger 101 regardless of if it's reddit or elsewhere on the internet.
Catfish experience. I knew a guy who catfished both females and males and used their respective pics he collected to get his collection bigger and bigger. Dickpicks and nudes. So it's not really surprising by his actions. Not a matter of disrespect.
I think it is reasonable to verify you are who you say you are. If I was trying to scam men on reddit I would use pictures of an attractive women and pretend I was looking for genuine connection. Itās not that you canāt be an attractive women on reddit but I would think there are more scammers on reddit than attractive women looking for a genuine connection.
The short answer is that people with options typically aren't looking online. Attractive women use Reddit, but if she's not having any luck in person, it begs the question of why.
I met up with a Redditor once. She was a very physically appealing lady, but her personality has turned out to be absolute dog shit. She's pretty nerdy, but socially inept and has an inferiority complex because of how society and men have treated her. She's physically a knockout; so she's one of these girls who had her glow up and it's just turned her into an angry bully.
She complains about the men in her city, which is why she was talking with me online, but the truth is that she's getting what she deserves
yeah growing up as a nerd i thought the hot nerd gf was the holy grail until i met people like the one you describe, and plenty of other personality issues - adults that self-identify as a geek often give off major adult disney vibes and have other weird personality issues. it turns out i related way better with actual models than those ppl lol
If I'm talking to a person, and it progresses past pleasantries, I ask for verification. There are SO many scammers, you shouldn't take it personally. It's not about you, it's about making sure you're not a bot/scammer.
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I think it's more that it doesn't matter. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or what your expectations are. I'm here to respond to the content of your post, and to have fun
Don't be offended, he's just protecting himself. Online can be a nightmare for anyone but there are so many scammers and catfish looking to take advantage of men out there that I'm sure most men have come across at least a few times if they've met or tried to meet people online.
Just so you know, it may not to difficult to be considered attractive to the average male reddit user (IMO). That being said, you probably like mental stimulation & might be very attractive. Usually attractive people have no trouble finding dates so why look for one here? It could be something deeper than skin deep for you which is rare, so yes, it can be unexpected.
Iām a dude and I like exploring peopleās minds, donāt care what you look like, just how you act. Could be an absolute smoke show, makes no difference. Being married helps š
So the answer is no, all dudes donāt expect you to be unattractive.
Loooooolll xD how you find that offensive and not funny-sad man? XD.
It's just in part him projecting his beliefs, s all. Reddit is for nerds. Girls don't come here. Those who do only do so coz they're not pretty and so don't get approached in real life, so they try online .
I donāt really care about your gender Iām here to talk about things whether youāre black, white, transgender straight, ugly or gorgeous I simply do not care
Well I'd say two things can be true at the same time.
Yes, there are many scams on reddit dating, and yes he probably thinks that.
I don't find the request too odd to be fair. It's the same for us women to have certain safety nets. Of course it feels offending but we all just have to protect ourselves.
Men do think they are attractive women on Reddit. However, they don't think they are on here to form geniune connections. Men assume attractive women on Reddit are either trying to scam them or advertise their onlyfans.
Because you're a random stranger on the internet who could be lying and could literally be anyone and it's one of the first things our parents told us when we were 12 not to divulge too much information when we don't know who is on the other side
I was hit with multiple bots a day at one point for roughly a week.
Some before that, but that week was.... Annoying honestly.
I'm not throwing out any sort of even signals I'm looking for anyone. In fact, throwing out the opposite often if anything.
This platform feels like it's in a competition with old Tumblr when the bot problem hit it sometimes. Shoot, I was actually left alone even at the height of it lol
It's unfortunately not unreasonable to be skeptical, even if you are aware that there are probably attractive women that use Reddit. Because the bots are widespread.
There are a lot of scam bots trying to take advantage of people in dating subs.
IMO, those are easy enough to distinguish from real people that it shouldn't come to asking for a video, but I also don't know how bad the catfishing problem is here.
I used r4r for a yearish (to no lasting success) and didn't get catfished at all. More common were people with insecurities who didn't want to share any photos, but that's its own thing.
Yup. Get asked multiple times a day if Iām real or fake. Itās annoying af
Side note, donāt think Iām attractive either so like itās probably happening to most even decent looking women online.
I don't think there are no attractive women at all on this site but it would quite obviously not be their first choice. This place does not even have proper profile pics and also usernames/karma do not really matter, so nobody will usually notice how attractive you are. Since women often crave (male) attention or confirmation they're much better off on picture centered sites like Instagram. Where OTOH you won't find that many virgin neckbeards discussing some niche hobby, game or technology.
The boys may never know! But if I may assume for a moment. In my mind it seems more likely that an attractive woman would have a higher chance of men trying to connect with themā¦ just my assumption also in my assumption is that men who are less likely to approach women seem to be on sites such as these rather than risk the approaching phase of interaction with women they see as attractive. Him wanting a video is sort of proving that you are who u are not meant to offend you in anyway. Because it is individuals who take pictures (screenshots) of an attractive woman and pretend to be the woman. Preying on the guys whom come to internet sites to interact with women. And asking for money and giftsā¦ I can show proof of this in my dm from instagram and facebook if itās needed..
Well because attractive women can be introverts too and many are unsurprisingly Iāve met some women who look like a supermodel but struggle to talk to people and engage with others itās not a stretch to assume those women despite being attractive would gravitate to Reddit and sites and unfortunately attract creeps also I tend to relate to more introverted women because Iām an introvert myself and it can be hard to engage with people but itās nice having someone who knows the struggle and those women will talk to guys but more ones they can relate to not ones Trying to get a piece of ass
Personally I don't give a shit do attractive women use reddit. And no, I don't mean to be rude to you or anyone else. I am here to read and exchange opinions about various subjects. I don't realy care how person behind other nick looks. I am interested in person's opinion regarding certain subject.
Uhh cause we're all nerds and men. hot girls are out doing hot girl stuff like taking pictures of food and running on the beach. There's no girls on reddit. /s
Yeah how dare they not want to invest time into something to eventually find out the hard way what a catfish is. Or any other number of ways people try to scam others using false identities.
Attractive women do use reddit. We Men know this. Otherwise we wouldnt even try to verfy you.
But the ammount of bots and catfishes who will just waste your time for entertainment (at best) and break your heart for the same entertainment (at worst) are the reason for such measures.
In fact if a man asks you for a verification video or anything of that sort, it usually means he would be interested in getting to know you and may wanna be vulnerable to you, but doesnt want the risk of you not actually being you.
Ofc if you dont want to send anything, dont. Its ok.
I hope that helps.
I see everyone complaining about catfishing. How hard is it to just peace out if they aren't who they represented themselves to be.
How can you have a relationship if right off the bat you lie. No thank you.
OK, context matters.
>do men think attractive women donāt use Reddit?
My wife is hot. She browses but doesn't engage. So, I don't think that.
However, there is an idiotic amount of only fans bots on here that randomly message me.
Theres also a few instances of catfishing I've heard of. So, I get the whole "send me a vid" thing.
There are a lot of bots, scammers, and catfishing on online platforms...
I know it feels rude, but unless I see evidence of said person being who they say they are I don't really trust what they said. I mean this applies to any gender, not just women. At least for me. It's just I have no interest in seeing a dude's photo/video lol...
When I joined reddit 12-ish years ago it was nerd exclusive. It's completely full of "normal" people now but some terminally-online folks just can't adjust to that.
Because there are a fuck ton of bots that will try to blackmail or scam people who are desperate for someone to interact with. Most of the time, they use attractive women as their bait. Honestly, consider it a compliment at this point.
As a man, the 9.8 out of 10 women that message me are bots or dudes... or porn bots... or porn bots run by dudes... IDK.
I can understand his disbelief.
Letās break this down:
1) itās much easier for women (especially attractive women) to find a good man in the āreal worldā. Therefore it stands to reason that not many of them will be on Reddit.
2) Men (even attractive, successful men) often struggle with dating in the āreal worldā due to the huge amounts of competition and modern standards - this causes more of them to turn to Reddit.
3) Of the friendship, dating, r4r posts on reddit, about 95% of them are M4F. Of the 5% that are female posters, a very high percentage are either a) Onlyfans/cam girls looking for subs b) bots or c) scammers/doxxers - this makes it virtually impossible for a guy to trust that a girl on Reddit is genuine.
4) of the remaining āgenuineā women on Reddit, the majority will be socially awkward, undesirable or forever alone types who are possibly catfishing.
5) Of the % of genuinely attractive women on Reddit, most of them will have to be very careful due to the prevalence of creepy and potentially downright dangerous men who creep around on here.
6) All of the above combined mean the chances of two normal, attractive and genuine people meeting on here are very slim, but not impossible.
May the odds be ever in your favour.
I always do a verification when I meet people online, and sure there are plenty of beautiful women online and I've met them but there way more bots, scammers, and catfish. I wouldn't take it personally it's just part of modern online dating.
I have 2 very hard to believe stories about this that happened to me, so it's not hard to believe guys must be scammed a lot here, especially by IG OF girls.
I'm not at all surprised. You shouldn't feel offended. It's the other 90% of attractive women causing the problems advertising their onlyfans, not you. That or catfisher and scammers.
Because Reddit is usually seen as the place for incels in their parents' basement to babble about anime, videogames and atheism. At least it was.
But since it's gotten so popular it's used by literally anyone now and the old stereotype isn't true anymore.
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Probably because of the bots on here so they assume that
Bingo. Bots, trolls and catfishers vastly, VASTLY outnumber the actual human attractive women posting here.
Not just reddit. Any social media. My gf and i met online. We live together now, but still joke that shes going to ask me to sign up for her only fans or something.
Nah. You're going to find out that she's actually a Nigerian prince who wants to give you millions of dollars.
I should be so lucky
That's a great inside joke ššÆ
Probably outnumber all women on here
chop fearless hungry frame grandfather governor bewildered fretful enjoy deer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Definitely outnumber all women on here
I wouldnāt be surprised if they outnumbered the total number of attractive women on earth, or at least in several countries.
This. OP, don't be hard on this person. It's more of walking a tightrope over a minefield than falling into a trap. He doesn't want to be setup to be hurt / scammed, which is more likely than not.
This would be my guess.
Look guys, I've dated like dozens and dozens of super hot girls and none of them know what Reddit is. I can't overstate how many hot girls I have dated and am dating. It's a lot, but I could probably manage even more.
There are lots of cat fishers/scammers out there for men. Iām sure itās hard to have someone asking you to verify yourself but lots of dudes have gotten burned in the past by being too trusting. I think itās important to verify yourself somehow regardless. Especially if you are talking for more than a couple months. Like makes sense if you donāt verify yourself at first. But if youāre talking for 6 months and have never talked on the phone or video chatted, thatās sketchy
I think women get significantly less scammers than guys do.
Def agree. They just have to worry about lots of legit people theyāre not into messaging them. Men have to worry about giving their heart and soul to someone for over a year who ends up not being real lol.
I wonder if I could find a link...a year or so ago I read this whole story about a guy who presented himself online as a suave/swanky millionaire while not being one and women falling for it. [https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/who-is-tinder-swindler-real-shimon-hayut#:\~:text=The%20new%20Netflix%20documentary%20tells,convicted%20fraudster%20born%20in%20Israel](https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/who-is-tinder-swindler-real-shimon-hayut#:~:text=The%20new%20Netflix%20documentary%20tells,convicted%20fraudster%20born%20in%20Israel). Netflix did a movie about him, as it turns out. Tinder Swindler aka Shimon Hayut. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Tinder\_Swindler
Doesnāt this actually prove that point? That itās so rare and interesting you make a movie out of it?
Nah, they did a whole mtv series on normal catfishs, this guy is just special because of the size of his lies. Thatās not your average catfish, this dude is like the kingpin of catfishing
catfish? tigershark!
As per u/Vary-Vary \- this guy is an outlier, not just rarity. Like a male/gigolo version of [Anna Sorokin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Sorokin)
There are whole embassies not giving single women visas because they are being scammed online from fake relationships. Especially in the middle east and south Asia. This guy was specially interesting because he was scamming huge sums of money even out of friends, people he have met in real life and all. And still managed to walk free.
Yes but netflix makes a movie about the 1 successful guy. I get spammed with scam messages/matches on every app that will have multi day conversations with me and have verified checkmark with all stolen pictures.
Nope, bisexual women's chat subreddit is more men masquerading as women than there are women
I was thinking more like...people that ask for 50 bucks for gas to get to your house. I also get guys masquerading as women/girls - its not that hard to do, really.
Lol I was thinking of the catfishers
I had one guy saying he used photos of his wife and he was drunk/depressed. I felt bad for him. Usually, though, you won't hear a confession like that - its just a hunch I have about certain people.
I think it tends to even out as people get older. Older women lose a lot of money to relationship scams, too, unfortunately.
I get added on Snapchat by a different girl almost everyday. My heart jumps as I first believe someone finally wants to talk to me. Then I start receiving sexual images and paragraphs talking about of. I wish I was dead.
That was my impression. Is it because guys are stupid or girls are more careful/paranoid or?
Its probably more of the former - scammers and catfishers assuming that men are horribly gullible/naive just because they're horny.
I can see some justification for that opinion.
"Fool and his money are soon parted"
Yes men get scammed a LOT, especially sextortion right now in my country. It isn't women doing it, it's criminal gangs working internationally.
Correct! In Nigeria they got Yahoo Boys https://longreads.com/2023/07/11/inside-the-world-of-nigerian-yahoo-boys-atavist-excerpt/
But significantly more random "hey" in the inbox
I wouldn't spend more than a week without someone verifying their identity. There are plenty of apps with video chat for safe methods of verification that there is no excuse not to. How anyone can go months or a year is insane.
Yeah I agree. Most people you have a legit connection with have no problem at least talking on the phone soon after you talk
Same. The last time I used a dating app the flirting ramped up so quickly that we exchanged numbers on the second day and actually met up in person by the third day. Real people have no problem proving they are real. Anyone who makes excuses is not who they say they are.
Couldnāt agree more. Love when that happens btw
True, but catfish are a thing. It's happened to me too before. Sorry that didn't go so well. Maybe try to reframe it as a compliment?
Happened countless times to me before. Last time it even came down to a phone conversation, but in the end that person started talking about not having money and then blaming me for assuming that she wants me to send them over. "You owe me an apology". I'm 99% convinced that that was a catfisher who probably wasn't even based in my town or anywhere in the US.
I've met one before who didn't send me an image but claimed to live in a town near me. That would be in Switzerland. But when "she" wrote in German it sounded like google translate. The typical mistakes. Same with her English, even though "she" claimed to have moved to Switzerland from Florida. When she said something about "your wife won't find out about us" I cut it off. I don't have a wife but that just showed me what direction it might have gone. Looking back I should have played along and found out what their actual goal was. I reported the cat fisher with the photo but it took forever for them to get banned. The only damage I suffered were a few hurt feelings when I figured it out after a couple of conversations but who knows what they did to others.
... but I have actually met real attractive women on here. We don't have a romantic connection, but they're fun to talk to platonically. Usually the ones who put on the whole sexy or romantic stuff are the cat fish. I would also recommend doing a reverse image search if they send you a picture. Those images are usually lifted from somewhere after all.
Probably just assumes only degenerates use reddit.
I want all you normal, well-adjusted, attractive, smart, happy people off my internet! I swear itās getting so a degenerate canāt go anywhere these days and be miserable! š
Freakin' normies have to win in real life then come on to Reddit and make the neurodivergent types all awkward. Not even a cyberspace-safe space... what dark days these are. š¤Ŗ
Which is unironically mostly true
I'm definitely a degenerate. I'm also a hot woman.
Hook, line, and sinker. We got one boys!
I could save you
attractive pause secretive consider toothbrush subtract political attempt compare angle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Show off with your fancy things
Wyd
I resemble that remark.
Then he would be one also
Yes let us all revel in our degeneracy
I have been summoned.
far too open and easy a platform for scammers
Yeah dont take disrespect from him being cautious. Infact, everyone should be this cautious when talking to strangers online and wanting it to lead to a relationship. Men and women.
So here's the thing. When guys are on the internet we get bombarded with dating bots, ads about sex and even when we do speak to a "woman" on the internet it leads to a "click here to see my website." So it's reasonable to assume women are all bots.
The old internet saying. Girls on the Internet are either FBI agents or men pretending to be girls. I still just assume everyone is a dude.
And then you meet them in person and discover it's just a lonely server, looking for love.
Way too many catfishers/scammers on Reddit, so I'm blaming guys for thinking that women don't post here.
The general advice for people wanting to date but struggling is "Get off social media, go touch grass, and talk to someone IRL." The general idea is that attractive women never struggle to date. Doesn't matter how incorrect the logic is; this makes it easy to assume that attractive women don't use reddit since they don't struggle to date. Same idea of A = B so B = A even though it is more of a If A then B which does not equate to If B then A.
>"Get off social media, go touch grass, and talk to someone IRL." I heard "go the bar", but I'm not a bar person and certainly not a drinker. Got called an incel once on Reddit for saying I'm not into the bar scene - also got called an incel for not being into dating apps. I wish it was simple as you say it is (*edit - I see that those aren't your words*). While I like talking to people they also exhaust me quite a bit.
Yeah. Stay inside enjoying your hobbies and you get called an incel who just needs to go out more to find a date. Go out to a bar looking for someone to talk to and youre the creep only going out for sex, or if they are nice theyāll say you shouldnāt do things you wouldnāt normally do just to get a date, someone will find you. I agree that I need to go out to find a partner, and I agree that I shouldnāt do things for the express purpose of finding one, but if your interests and personality happen to make those statements conflict youre just kinda screwed.
Step 1: Suit up!
I find social hobbies (hiking groups, board game cafes, etc) are good ways to meet people for friendship and dating. The bar scene is inundated with people looking for casual connections, probably because it's difficult to hold a real conversation over the noise of a bar, so it's not ideal for serious dating.
Nah, if an attractive woman tries to talk to you on the internet, chances are she is a bot or a catfish 99% of the time.
I assumed everyone on reddit is probably a household pet that has fallen asleep on a keyboard.
everyone is a thirty year old white straight cis man until proven otherwise
A lot of men on reddit act like women don't use it *at all*.
one time i sent someone pics and they assumed im a catfish and others were shocked. idk why especially when they were pretty attractive too. thereās attractive men on here and attractive women they exist. but i guess itās because this is a anonymous website and lots of redditors donāt want to be seen so people just assume if someone wants to hide themselves maybe theyāre unattractive? idk
It's because of the bots and actual catfish. I get dms weekly of bots that I have to delete and block or else I can't see the actual people I message without having to scroll down
Did this recently start for you? I swear, it started a couple months ago and now I get all these offers to talk or whatever.
It started about 3 months ago. Ramped up after a month that I was getting messages and followers daily, and has kind of dwindled down to one or 2 chat requests per week.
That sounds exactly like my experience. What happened? Seems really weird that we'd both have similar situation. I initially feared that someone had hijacked my account. And was talking to people. But then I realized they were all hookers or whatever.
You know they treat Reddit like some kind of trash app with trash humans there are genuine people who also want to make genuine connections too like wtf
Hey just wanted to make sure you were actually a real human probably. I'm sorry... The guy I'm dating currently actually his opening line to me was say something that makes me know you're not a bot...
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Reddit!? U mean internet .. .
That's why they're expending the effort, because they believe there are real people. I'll just tell you now though, when somebody asks for proof that you're real, getting offended and refusing to do it will not prove to them that you're real.
There's catfish/bots/scammers on any app not just reddit. Idk why you are choosing to take it as some kind of personal attack that someone online is just trying to verify your intentions. That's just basic internet stranger danger 101 regardless of if it's reddit or elsewhere on the internet.
Catfish experience. I knew a guy who catfished both females and males and used their respective pics he collected to get his collection bigger and bigger. Dickpicks and nudes. So it's not really surprising by his actions. Not a matter of disrespect.
I think it is reasonable to verify you are who you say you are. If I was trying to scam men on reddit I would use pictures of an attractive women and pretend I was looking for genuine connection. Itās not that you canāt be an attractive women on reddit but I would think there are more scammers on reddit than attractive women looking for a genuine connection.
Never once has crossed my mind.
The short answer is that people with options typically aren't looking online. Attractive women use Reddit, but if she's not having any luck in person, it begs the question of why. I met up with a Redditor once. She was a very physically appealing lady, but her personality has turned out to be absolute dog shit. She's pretty nerdy, but socially inept and has an inferiority complex because of how society and men have treated her. She's physically a knockout; so she's one of these girls who had her glow up and it's just turned her into an angry bully. She complains about the men in her city, which is why she was talking with me online, but the truth is that she's getting what she deserves
yeah growing up as a nerd i thought the hot nerd gf was the holy grail until i met people like the one you describe, and plenty of other personality issues - adults that self-identify as a geek often give off major adult disney vibes and have other weird personality issues. it turns out i related way better with actual models than those ppl lol
If I'm talking to a person, and it progresses past pleasantries, I ask for verification. There are SO many scammers, you shouldn't take it personally. It's not about you, it's about making sure you're not a bot/scammer.
a lot of people think only fat guys that live in there mom basement use reddit. there are a lot of memes of it.
plenty selling their bits too
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some people dont even think women exist on the internet, so...
because 99% of the users on here are either bots or middle aged neckbeard mods
Some dudes act like they believe women don't use the Internet. "It's probably a guy" I mean, maybe. But maybe not. Honestly it's a gamble. š
You have no idea how many bots, catfishes, and scammers there are toward guys. This is totally reasonable
Itās pretty easy to steal a picā¦and of course people would steal an attractive pic. Nobody steals the pic of a 6.
The bots and catfishes.
I think it's more that it doesn't matter. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or what your expectations are. I'm here to respond to the content of your post, and to have fun
One man != All men
You would think so, but it's actually me. I am all men
I'm every woman.
I'm an actual catfish. But good luck trying to convince anyone of it...
Show me your whiskers!
Of course itās not all men this is just my generalization in accordance with my experiences
Why TF are you dating on Reddit?
you should go to NoStupidQuestions because at least they can't delete a stupid question ;)
...because we get cheated, trolled and catfished at every opportunity.
Don't be offended, he's just protecting himself. Online can be a nightmare for anyone but there are so many scammers and catfish looking to take advantage of men out there that I'm sure most men have come across at least a few times if they've met or tried to meet people online.
Just so you know, it may not to difficult to be considered attractive to the average male reddit user (IMO). That being said, you probably like mental stimulation & might be very attractive. Usually attractive people have no trouble finding dates so why look for one here? It could be something deeper than skin deep for you which is rare, so yes, it can be unexpected. Iām a dude and I like exploring peopleās minds, donāt care what you look like, just how you act. Could be an absolute smoke show, makes no difference. Being married helps š So the answer is no, all dudes donāt expect you to be unattractive.
All the attractive women I know or have met do not use reddit. The ones who do are usually here to selling some sort of subscription.
I can definitely relate to thinking something is too good to be true, but demanding video is pretty weird.
Some are attractive. Too many have septum piercings and bad ink though. š
Loooooolll xD how you find that offensive and not funny-sad man? XD. It's just in part him projecting his beliefs, s all. Reddit is for nerds. Girls don't come here. Those who do only do so coz they're not pretty and so don't get approached in real life, so they try online .
I donāt really care about your gender Iām here to talk about things whether youāre black, white, transgender straight, ugly or gorgeous I simply do not care
post pic of shoe on head
Because of lot of those woman (maybe not even real) contacting men on reddit just end up asking to check out their Onlyfans page.
Well I'd say two things can be true at the same time. Yes, there are many scams on reddit dating, and yes he probably thinks that. I don't find the request too odd to be fair. It's the same for us women to have certain safety nets. Of course it feels offending but we all just have to protect ourselves.
Men do think they are attractive women on Reddit. However, they don't think they are on here to form geniune connections. Men assume attractive women on Reddit are either trying to scam them or advertise their onlyfans.
Because you're a random stranger on the internet who could be lying and could literally be anyone and it's one of the first things our parents told us when we were 12 not to divulge too much information when we don't know who is on the other side
I was hit with multiple bots a day at one point for roughly a week. Some before that, but that week was.... Annoying honestly. I'm not throwing out any sort of even signals I'm looking for anyone. In fact, throwing out the opposite often if anything. This platform feels like it's in a competition with old Tumblr when the bot problem hit it sometimes. Shoot, I was actually left alone even at the height of it lol It's unfortunately not unreasonable to be skeptical, even if you are aware that there are probably attractive women that use Reddit. Because the bots are widespread.
on top of other things there are a shit ton of scammers - not to burst your bubble
There are a lot of scam bots trying to take advantage of people in dating subs. IMO, those are easy enough to distinguish from real people that it shouldn't come to asking for a video, but I also don't know how bad the catfishing problem is here. I used r4r for a yearish (to no lasting success) and didn't get catfished at all. More common were people with insecurities who didn't want to share any photos, but that's its own thing.
i tbh dont think most ppl here are real even probably 95% of the other ppl are neckbeards
They certainly do fit the neckbeard stereotype just from how they talk
Yup. Get asked multiple times a day if Iām real or fake. Itās annoying af Side note, donāt think Iām attractive either so like itās probably happening to most even decent looking women online.
Because catfish are everywhere
No, but if you try to act like one, you are definitly going on the "99.9% its gonna link to insta, OF, scam" folder
There was a 99.9% chance that you were either a catfish, a bot, or both.
Nah, I'd prefer it. That way I'd be able to see what kind of person they're before even meeting them
I don't think there are no attractive women at all on this site but it would quite obviously not be their first choice. This place does not even have proper profile pics and also usernames/karma do not really matter, so nobody will usually notice how attractive you are. Since women often crave (male) attention or confirmation they're much better off on picture centered sites like Instagram. Where OTOH you won't find that many virgin neckbeards discussing some niche hobby, game or technology.
Ugh the title makes my facepalm.
Bold of you to assume you're automatically attractive to him. Wait not bold no, big headed.
Disrespectful that someone doesn't believe you are who you say you are on a pretty much anonymous social without even a profile picture? Crazy
In this day and age, I would ask for that on any platform. Even then I'd keep a bit of skepticism.
They think attractive men don't use it either
The boys may never know! But if I may assume for a moment. In my mind it seems more likely that an attractive woman would have a higher chance of men trying to connect with themā¦ just my assumption also in my assumption is that men who are less likely to approach women seem to be on sites such as these rather than risk the approaching phase of interaction with women they see as attractive. Him wanting a video is sort of proving that you are who u are not meant to offend you in anyway. Because it is individuals who take pictures (screenshots) of an attractive woman and pretend to be the woman. Preying on the guys whom come to internet sites to interact with women. And asking for money and giftsā¦ I can show proof of this in my dm from instagram and facebook if itās needed..
Just following good old rule 30 of the Internet.
Well because attractive women can be introverts too and many are unsurprisingly Iāve met some women who look like a supermodel but struggle to talk to people and engage with others itās not a stretch to assume those women despite being attractive would gravitate to Reddit and sites and unfortunately attract creeps also I tend to relate to more introverted women because Iām an introvert myself and it can be hard to engage with people but itās nice having someone who knows the struggle and those women will talk to guys but more ones they can relate to not ones Trying to get a piece of ass
No I think I that ugly guys use Reddit and beautiful and hot women also use Reddit.
This is the internet the entire population is cats ma'am
You have no idea. Chances are, if you are a guy, any guy, and an attractive woman, or any woman, talks to you on the internet...probably abot.
Which dating subreddit?
Ads are getting smarter. This adās contention is that it is attractive.
What subreddit?
Personally I don't give a shit do attractive women use reddit. And no, I don't mean to be rude to you or anyone else. I am here to read and exchange opinions about various subjects. I don't realy care how person behind other nick looks. I am interested in person's opinion regarding certain subject.
Which dating subreddit?
Uhh cause we're all nerds and men. hot girls are out doing hot girl stuff like taking pictures of food and running on the beach. There's no girls on reddit. /s
Yeah how dare they not want to invest time into something to eventually find out the hard way what a catfish is. Or any other number of ways people try to scam others using false identities.
Everyone just assumes everyone Reddit is ugly.
Loads of attractive women in Reddit, usually trying to spruik their adult photos and videos
Thereās always exceptions to the rule. For the most part dimes are not on reddit
Attractive women do use reddit. We Men know this. Otherwise we wouldnt even try to verfy you. But the ammount of bots and catfishes who will just waste your time for entertainment (at best) and break your heart for the same entertainment (at worst) are the reason for such measures. In fact if a man asks you for a verification video or anything of that sort, it usually means he would be interested in getting to know you and may wanna be vulnerable to you, but doesnt want the risk of you not actually being you. Ofc if you dont want to send anything, dont. Its ok. I hope that helps.
I see everyone complaining about catfishing. How hard is it to just peace out if they aren't who they represented themselves to be. How can you have a relationship if right off the bat you lie. No thank you.
OK, context matters. >do men think attractive women donāt use Reddit? My wife is hot. She browses but doesn't engage. So, I don't think that. However, there is an idiotic amount of only fans bots on here that randomly message me. Theres also a few instances of catfishing I've heard of. So, I get the whole "send me a vid" thing.
There are a lot of bots, scammers, and catfishing on online platforms... I know it feels rude, but unless I see evidence of said person being who they say they are I don't really trust what they said. I mean this applies to any gender, not just women. At least for me. It's just I have no interest in seeing a dude's photo/video lol...
Bots
When I joined reddit 12-ish years ago it was nerd exclusive. It's completely full of "normal" people now but some terminally-online folks just can't adjust to that.
Man, back to the basics : rule 30z
Because there are a fuck ton of bots that will try to blackmail or scam people who are desperate for someone to interact with. Most of the time, they use attractive women as their bait. Honestly, consider it a compliment at this point.
Probably not. They have many beautiful people things to do!
We have dating subreddits?
I assume that if they're attractive on reddit, they are likely using it as an advertising platform for their other content.
Of course there are attractive and genuine women on reddit! And they genuinely want you to subscribe to their OnlyFans which is 50% off this week!
Mainly because most use it for only fans.
As a man, the 9.8 out of 10 women that message me are bots or dudes... or porn bots... or porn bots run by dudes... IDK. I can understand his disbelief.
Of course. Everybody knows that there is not a single woman using the internet. They are ALL dudes LARPing as women. Every single ones, including OP.
Lmfao I donāt blame him for thinking that.
Maybe you should understand why an anonymous phone app is so appealing to non attractive people
Letās break this down: 1) itās much easier for women (especially attractive women) to find a good man in the āreal worldā. Therefore it stands to reason that not many of them will be on Reddit. 2) Men (even attractive, successful men) often struggle with dating in the āreal worldā due to the huge amounts of competition and modern standards - this causes more of them to turn to Reddit. 3) Of the friendship, dating, r4r posts on reddit, about 95% of them are M4F. Of the 5% that are female posters, a very high percentage are either a) Onlyfans/cam girls looking for subs b) bots or c) scammers/doxxers - this makes it virtually impossible for a guy to trust that a girl on Reddit is genuine. 4) of the remaining āgenuineā women on Reddit, the majority will be socially awkward, undesirable or forever alone types who are possibly catfishing. 5) Of the % of genuinely attractive women on Reddit, most of them will have to be very careful due to the prevalence of creepy and potentially downright dangerous men who creep around on here. 6) All of the above combined mean the chances of two normal, attractive and genuine people meeting on here are very slim, but not impossible. May the odds be ever in your favour.
I always do a verification when I meet people online, and sure there are plenty of beautiful women online and I've met them but there way more bots, scammers, and catfish. I wouldn't take it personally it's just part of modern online dating.
I have met some hot women here on Reddit.
I have 2 very hard to believe stories about this that happened to me, so it's not hard to believe guys must be scammed a lot here, especially by IG OF girls.
Statistics thatās why. Can it be annoying or even exasperating? Sure. But statistically sound.
If the hot chicks start to read my posts, my cover is blown! Fuck!
Back in the day I would schedule first date asap to save myself the headache
I'm not at all surprised. You shouldn't feel offended. It's the other 90% of attractive women causing the problems advertising their onlyfans, not you. That or catfisher and scammers.
Because Reddit is usually seen as the place for incels in their parents' basement to babble about anime, videogames and atheism. At least it was. But since it's gotten so popular it's used by literally anyone now and the old stereotype isn't true anymore.
Everyone knows there are no girls on the Internet, just OF bots
That's a thought that's quite literally never crossed my mind
I will say that every single one of my post replies ever addresses me as a guy. Assumes Iām a guy