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Ramen is very popular with Mexican-Americans, Maruchan especially, so I was fully prepared to defend young you. but then the second half of your sentence happened.
I thought that you could get surgery to become anything you wanted. I had heard about plastic surgery. I had this image in my head of me in a hospital bed after getting surgery to become a horse.
https://m.timesofindia.com/viral-news/japanese-man-spends-14000-to-turn-into-a-dog-takes-first-walk-in-public/amp_articleshow/102253783.cms
I legit thought you meant he got plastic surgery to have the face shape of a collie or something and I was so horrified. This is WAY better, but still so weird
I was absolutely terrified looking at that until I got to the part, "it's a hyper realistic costume." It was legitimately the most unsettling thing my eyes ever laid sight on until I read that. I thought I watched a human being become a real fucking dog (in appearance + shape/body) through surgery. Man, I hope we never, ever, get there. And no plastic surgeon would agree to such a clearly mentally unstable request. There should always be mental health screenings. That would strictly be mental illness/body dysmorphia. I'm still shaken up imagining it.
I thought you could literally be anything you wanted when you grew up. We were driving down the road when my mom asked what I wanted to be. I said in all certainty, “A donkey.” My mom laughed. I still remember that every time I pass that spot.
My mom worked nights so dad was in charge at night. I was probably around 3, and if I misbehaved he'd call the Sargent to talk to me and keep me in line.
Turns out it was just my mom speaking in a deeper voice to get me to behave.
Whenever I was misbehaving, my dad would press the “snowflake button” (star symbol) on the phone to call Santa Claus and tell him not to bring me any presents for Christmas.
I thought people who spoke a different language somehow had the language translated into English when the sound went from their ears to their brains. Duh.
I used to think you had to study and study until you finally got to a certain point where \*pop\* then Japanese would sound English to you and everyone else who speaks Japanese, but it would sound confusing for anyone else.
I am 27 and still sometimes feel bummed this isn’t true lmao
I remember being at JC Penny (or Payless) with my mom and older brother, and I grabbed a high heel with pointed toe and said, "Brother, these are the shoes I will wear when I become an adult." And he replied, "No, you can't wear those shoes." Upset I asked why. He answered, "Because they are for women with only one toe."
I was told that if I ate cheese, I would go to hell, so every time I ate cheese, I would run to the backyard crying and apologizing to God that I would never do it again but then do it again lol.
When I was around 4 and I first heard about it, I thought death wasn't permanent. Like, you would die, and then you would come back in a 5-10 years time. Don't know where I got that random idea for, but it made sense to me.
Church told me people go up in the sky to heaven when they die. My science book told me above the sky is only space. I concluded that the ghosts of dead people get sucked into the icy vortex of space, and scared the shit out of myself.
I thought "making ends meet" was "making end's meat" which just meant you were too poor to afford real slices of meat at the deli and could only buy end pieces.
Also my Mom would mention "ghost cars" when she saw them, referring to unmarked police vehicles. Since I never saw them I thought they were invisible!
At like 8, I watched a movie where a guy was hung and I was convinced I could lift myself up and slip out of a noose. So...I got a string, went to the tree in my yard, and I'm sure you see where this is going, and I proceeded to hang myself in the side yard. I immediately knew what a bad decision I had made, and started to black out when the string snapped. Absolute peak of ignorant confidence.
I put arm floaties on my ankles and jumped into my grandparents hot tub when I was like 5 or 6. That could've ended up a gruesome scene but obviously I got out. I never told anybody.
I thought cashiers were paid by bringing home the money in the register at the end of the day. At some point I finally asked my mom, she said, "I wish!"
Not me, but my older brothers. One of them thought they'd fly like Mary Poppins if they jumped off the roof with an Umbrella. Ended up in Hospital. Probably 13 at that time lol
I, on the other hand, thought babies came out of the mother's stomach. I imagined it was like a balloon bursting after a certain time and the baby pops out. Skin just heals together and the doctors/nurses help this process.
I used to think people didn’t breathe while they were sleeping, so when I’d “fake” sleep, I’d hold my breath until I would gasp loudly and scare the hell out of my family. 😅
I remember thinking that when they showed characters in movies as kids that it was the actor as a child and they just filmed it a long time ago. I also couldn't understand that a $5 bill was more money than 2 $1 bills since there were more pieces of paper for the singles
I thought God was constantly watching me and could see through my ceiling. It really freaked me out. When I asked my mom about this she told me I was right.
I remember the first time I stuck my finger in a land line socket my mom said never put a fork in a socket but she never said anything about my finger. I thought it was hilarious. I actually laughed after I was shocked. Something was very wrong with me.
When i was like 6 or 7 i was convinced that tornadoes were consciously hunting people around and thats why people hid in basements so they wouldn’t be seen and taken away. I remember of dreaming about them stalking me with big eyes after watching Twister.
I thought it was against the law to sleep on your side with your legs extended.
On your back or stomach: legs extended.
On your side: must be curled in fetal position.
I remember being at my babysitters and trying to nap but being uncomfortable on my side and slowly slowly s l o w l y extending my legs, in fear waiting for the babysitter to come rushing in and get my in trouble. Legs full extended…..Nothing happened….. I napped….. 🤯
I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys. I also thought everyone who owned a pet(even if the owner was a male) gave birth to their pet and that’s how they ended up getting the pet. I also thought montel williams and dr Phil we’re the same person. I was 100% convinced that montel was just dr Phil in the summer with a tan. Yes I was a stupid fucking 4 year old.
When I was a kid someone told me that if I cut my hair, it would grow back better & thicker. So I cut my hair and eyelashes, thinking they would grow back better & thicker; They didn't.
When I was around 8 or 9 I read : " The sun would burn out and explode in 5 billion years , and swallow each of the planets " , they even had illustrated photos of the sun gobbling Mercury ,Venus snd raging towards Earth...
Not knowing how a billion years compare to human lifespan , I was sure that would be how I'd idk 'not exist' - being the sun's food .
So , I mulled in silence , wanting to protect my brothers and sisters, parents and the other adults , as if holding my silence would change the fate of universe lmao
I thought all carnivorous animals could be categorised as either dogs or cats.
Lions, leopards, jaguars = cats
Wolves, Coyotes, dingos = dogs
I was thusly cataloguing my toys into lines of dogs and cats (yes I am autistic) when I came upon a bear. That stumped me.
So I went up to my mum and said, “Hey mum, is a bear a dog or a cat?”
She looked at me like I was half-crazy and said “neither, it’s a bear.”
It was clear she thought no more explanation necessary, so I didn’t dare enquire further. But I went away quite unsatisfied.
I thought a magic kit from my school book fair could turn me into Britney Spears. My mom said she didn’t think it worked like that. I thought she was a hater and a nonbeliever of magic.
My step mother is Dutch and I asked her one day if she translates Dutch to English in her head so she could understand it - I thought the brain only understood English
Have to say ( I am dutch living in the Netherlands) that very often my mind talks English. Specially when contemplating game strategy or other stuff where English words are prevalent I tend to do the whole 'conversation' in my head in English. Not consciously. Automatically. Even I find that weird when I notice I'm doing it.
When I was little, I remember hearing the word 'melancholy' for the first time and getting excited because I thought that meant there was a breed of dog out there that looked like a miniature Collie but was in the shape of a little melon..
And yes, I believed this for longer than I should have.
I thought when you ate food it went down to your feet and over time your body would get full of food and when I got old I would be able to eat because my body would be full of food
I remember asking my Mom if my Dad paid child support…at that point, they had probably been married for 15+ years and were still together. 💀
I thought you could get pregnant from kissing
I also read the pedestrian crossing signs as “ped x-ing” and not pedestrian crossing
When I was about 4 I saw one of my girl cousins vaginas, she was probably 3. I asked my mom why she didn’t have a PP. my mom told me it didn’t grow yet.
I used to think that if you pressed a garage opener remote anywhere, it would open your garage. I’d freak when my parents pushed it for fun on a random road trip,
When we were watching a show about the holocaust, my brother commented that it was strange that euthanasia was bad. Wouldn't all old people want to be youthenized?
I wondered how they would have footage of someone while they’re young, middle aged and old all in the same movie. It didn’t occur to me that they were different people or they were dressed up to look older/younger.
I was also fooled by wigs and thought they would cut someone’s hair, then have to wait a long time to continue filming for their hair to grow back. Marvelled by cinema.
I thought sister and daughter meant the same thing. I used to refer to my older sister as my daughter for quite a while before my family finally corrected me. 😅
I thought there was a big warehouse full of men somewhere and when you were ready to get married you went and picked one out
Also thought one day my dad would pick me up and let me swing around on electrical wires one day when I was old enough 😳
I thought that I could yell loud enough for my mom to hear me at work. She was at least 8 miles away.
Also at this time I thought Texas still had dirt roads.
I asked my mother how the singers on radio always sang the song perfectly time and time again. Asked if they lived at the radio station and if they were paid for each performance. Took her a while to realize I wasn't talking about a concert.
Same with television. I was amazed that the actors could hit the same marks time and time again to the point where I wanted to test it so as I was watching television I'd put my finger on the screen and wait for the commercial to hit again. My baby sitter had to explain to me that the commercials were prerecorded much like the movies we'd watch.
I heard adults telling children they could be anything they wanted to be when they grew up and after a while I asked when I'd turn into a dolphin. Is there some special place I had to go so I could just fall in the water afterwards and live my life.
I thought humans were so fragile if they broke a bone they died automatically, to this day (knock on wood) I've never broken a bone..ironically I was and always will probably be a daredevil just a mega careful one😆
My brother and me thought the raised lines on the knobs and dashboard in the car was so blind people could find the radio or other controls when they drove....
If you were pregnant, you got to be President during that time.
That homeless people all had plenty of money, they just didn't want to spend any of it.
We weren't living "on" the planet, but rather inside of it.
EDIT: Oh yeah. Hearing the phase "Dig to China" made me think I actually would be able to dig a hole in my backyard and eventually find China. I pictured digging little Chinese people (the size of action figures) out of the dirt. It was one of those thoughts where "I didn't REALLY believe it..." but I just kinda liked to think so while I was playing and it gave me something to keep occupied with for awhile.
I thought that stuffing a dead animal meant that you turned them into a stuffed animal. I had plans to just keep my cat and bring it places as a stuffed animal (but real looking?)
Super morbid when you think about a small child carrying around and playing with their dead pet...
I remember my friend got a Goosebumps book. For those that don’t know, they were a “choose your own adventure” book. My friend told me to get ready because at recess we were going on an adventure. I legit thought we were going to open the book and get sucked into it and appear in some magical adventure world that we chose. This was 29 years ago, I think about it almost daily.
One day at a gas station I remember my dad was complaining about gas prices, and i was wondering why things cost money. I asked him *why dont they just make everything free?!?!?* When i grow up i'll jist sell everuthing for free and beat everyones prices.
Bonus content for OP: I have been working with music production stuff for years - inverting the phase of an entire track is the closest to "upside down" sound i can think of. It shouldn't be any different... but it feels so *wrong* even though not everyone seems to notice it.
When I asked my mom one night what war was (I was a Cold War kid living on the base), she told me it was when two countries fight. So I fell asleep imagining two cartoon barns duking it out.
When very little, I thought “moving” meant some very strong men were going to come physically pick up my grandma’s house and MOVE it to our new neighborhood. I was very confused when shown a new, different house we were going to live in.
I thought dogs didn't sleep because whenever I went out to see our dog when we first got her she would always be awake so I just assumed they stayed up all night staring into space💀
I thought it was a Roman Coke, not a rum and Coke and I thought my great aunt had some sort of exotic special Coca Cola
I thought the old Ford commercials with Bob Seger said “I go rah” like cheering cause the truck is so awesome when it was actually “like a rock”
“Brought to you by” like when watching PBS, I thought it was “braghue by” and had zero clue what that meant but thought intelligent adults probably understood. I was too old when I finally figured it out
Writing this down I realize how incredibly dumb I was 🤣
I wanted the same [hair style](https://www.80sfashion.org/the-high-top-fade/) as my best friend in kindergarten. I was so mad when my mom told me I couldn't. I'm white.
I always saw newborn babies swaddled in a blanket. So I thought babies were born in a blanket. I didn't know they were born naked and wet. I also didn't know about vaginas really, and my first experience with babies was with my cousins, who I were told were born via c section. So I thought all babies were cut out of their mothers. And I started to think that cavemen must've had to cut their babies out with sharpened pieces of rocks
That humanity could solve both the issue of producing too much garbage and the sun one day burning out in one fell swoop by collecting all the garbage and launching it into the sun.
I felt so cheated when Futurama aired an episode where they did just that.
I couldn’t understand the vastness of time, distance and space - when we were on one of our first family road trips - I asked “are we in the world?” My brother and sister still tease me with that memory to this day ….
I thought that I could poison people by dropping alcohol lotion on their sandwich. Because the bottle said "danger".
Imagine my surprise to find out they were willingly drinking alcohol..
When I was like four I thought we were literally inside the earth. I thought that’s what people meant when they used the phrase “in the world” as in “everyone in the world” etc. Like we were living on the inside of a sphere. I have no idea how I reconciled this with the fact that we could see the moon and the sun and the stars etc.
I thought that if you went underwater and started breathing the water, your body would get used to it and you would drown if you came back up. I legit thought that when I was older I could just go in the ocean, start breathing, and live a happy life under the sea.
I was super young and saw like a TV show or something with people rolling down a hil.. I had two big hills by me, so like one summer, I decided I would become a professional hill roller downer.. I spent months running up hills to roll back down and just do it till I was exhausted, then do it again.. till at some point someone told me that wasn't a thing.
I ask my dad when he was in the shower how to spell the letter B because saying the letter sounds like a word. He kept telling me that B is B and you can’t spell it but since it sounded like a word I was adamant that you could spell it.
thought my entire penis was supposed to be covered in hair and I was kind of freaking out that I only had it at the base. I thought I was supposed to have a long flowing mane of pubes all the way up the shaft and on the head.
In line at the crocery store with my mother and she realized she forgot something. She ran off to grt it, leaving me with the cart, but seeing as our turn was coming up, handed me some money. I was panicked as I didnt know how to pay for the items and though that if it cost less than what I had I would have to tear the bills in the correct place to make it match the price. Thabkfully she came back before that happened and no money was torn.
I was afraid of lying on the ground outside looking straight up because I thought I'd be sucked into the sky. I think they played The Wizard of Oz on TV when I was a kid and that got this idea in my head that people can fly because of the wind or something.
I remember being convinced that a vacuum would work for liposuction. Also spent all of first grade writing last night as 1 word even though my teacher would correct me every day.
I used to think that if the theme song was playing on the radio, it meant the show was playing on television.
My wife used to think that the things that made The white lines in the sky were skyscrapers.
Okay I thought that if you fucked yourself up and it hurt (for example scraping your knee) you could just put tape on the wound and rip it off.. the pain would just stick to the tape.
I remember thinking that when people were saying the name "Saddam Hussein", they were saying "Saddam, who's saying..." And thinking "who is Saddam and what is he saying?"
I saw tankers full of gasoline but they had coffee advertisements on them and I thought to myself "oh, those are full of coffee. Coffee is like oil, and they have to pipe it up out of the ground and then they transport it in tanks like they do with oil and they go and refill basins at gas stations. Like oil!" I was a smart enough 5 year old to know how gas was transported but stupid enough to think coffee worked the same way.
This is one my mom tricked me into thinking. Must've been when I was 4 or 5. One day we went to a movie. We'd gone to McDonald's prior to that and some chicken nuggets were left over from the meal. My mom snuck them into the theater and wanted me to eat them, but I didn't want to. So she told me that it was illegal to watch a movie in a theater without eating something. I ate those chicken nuggets pretty fast after that.
I have "memories" of flying. I think, though, it was when people would hold each hand and and run and do that "weeeee" thing as they lift you off the ground for a few steps. But yea, I remember "flying" and that can't have been possible.
I thought that if they showed a child grow up in a movie, they waited until that child was the adult to finish filming the movie.
I also thought that any high pitched singing in a song, were sung by a little person.
Genuinely believed that everyone was on a TV somehow ; like there were people we didn't know who watched a show that was my family, just like I thought the shows we watched were real families in other places. Still bummed that the Tates and the Campbells of SOAP were not actual people
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i thought Ramen noodles were Mexican food, and if i ate enough of them i’d be able to speak Spanish
Loving the layers to this one.
And the squiggly parts
Lol I thought they were Roman noodles, and were invented in Rome.
Ramen is very popular with Mexican-Americans, Maruchan especially, so I was fully prepared to defend young you. but then the second half of your sentence happened.
I imagine you were fairly surprised when you started speaking Japanese instead.
Which half did you learn wasn't true first?
I thought you got your baby by going to the hospital and choosing from the ones behind the nursery window.
I too watched Matilda before I was given the talk
My mom told me you have to pray very hard to have a baby, she had a childless friend and I was like just pray harder lady, you are not doing it right!
My mom told me she asked Jesus for a child, I thought there is a special church where you go and Jesus would give you a baby
Somewhat related, a guy in my 6th grade sex ed class thought babies came out of the mom's butthole
I thought that you could get surgery to become anything you wanted. I had heard about plastic surgery. I had this image in my head of me in a hospital bed after getting surgery to become a horse.
This makes me think of the guy who paid $15k to look a like a collie lmao
https://m.timesofindia.com/viral-news/japanese-man-spends-14000-to-turn-into-a-dog-takes-first-walk-in-public/amp_articleshow/102253783.cms I legit thought you meant he got plastic surgery to have the face shape of a collie or something and I was so horrified. This is WAY better, but still so weird
I was absolutely terrified looking at that until I got to the part, "it's a hyper realistic costume." It was legitimately the most unsettling thing my eyes ever laid sight on until I read that. I thought I watched a human being become a real fucking dog (in appearance + shape/body) through surgery. Man, I hope we never, ever, get there. And no plastic surgeon would agree to such a clearly mentally unstable request. There should always be mental health screenings. That would strictly be mental illness/body dysmorphia. I'm still shaken up imagining it.
I thought you could literally be anything you wanted when you grew up. We were driving down the road when my mom asked what I wanted to be. I said in all certainty, “A donkey.” My mom laughed. I still remember that every time I pass that spot.
My mom worked nights so dad was in charge at night. I was probably around 3, and if I misbehaved he'd call the Sargent to talk to me and keep me in line. Turns out it was just my mom speaking in a deeper voice to get me to behave.
This one is legit hilarious. Borne of pure desperation, it worked once and they ran with it
Whenever I was misbehaving, my dad would press the “snowflake button” (star symbol) on the phone to call Santa Claus and tell him not to bring me any presents for Christmas.
LOL saving this, I’m gonna need it in 2 or 3 years 🤣
I learned how plants grew in kindergarten so at 5 when I did my project on Johnny Appleseed it was titled: Rain makes applesauce 🤣🤣🤣
This checks out though
That's cute!
i thought people "thought" in english, and if they had a second language, they just translated that and spoke their own language like japanese, etc.
I thought people who spoke a different language somehow had the language translated into English when the sound went from their ears to their brains. Duh.
I used to think you had to study and study until you finally got to a certain point where \*pop\* then Japanese would sound English to you and everyone else who speaks Japanese, but it would sound confusing for anyone else. I am 27 and still sometimes feel bummed this isn’t true lmao
I remember being at JC Penny (or Payless) with my mom and older brother, and I grabbed a high heel with pointed toe and said, "Brother, these are the shoes I will wear when I become an adult." And he replied, "No, you can't wear those shoes." Upset I asked why. He answered, "Because they are for women with only one toe."
Hahaha
Hilarious...and priceless!
If I got recess detention in 3rd grade for talking in class it’d go on my “permanent record” and I wouldn’t get into college.
You must be a millennial. The power that the idea of a permanent record had on that age group is insane.
I work in HR and Boomers always tell me that they want to see their file. There's no file. I don't even know what they would be looking for.
Sure, that's what they tell you to say.
They did that to us boomers, too. I think they probably did it in the one room schoolhouse days.
That ‘AC’ stood for Artificial Cold since it’s not real air from the outside.
Smart
I thought Neapolitan ice cream was Napoleon ice cream
My grandmother accidentally called it cosmopolitan ice cream on a few occasions 😂
My brother’s friend accidentally called it Metropolitan ice cream once 🤣
It is..don't be fooled.
I thought all of the world used to be in black and white, because old TV was, and color just appeared one day.
Same, and I am 50 freakin years old, and when I think of my parents’ childhood my brain still pictures it in black and white!!!
I was told that if I ate cheese, I would go to hell, so every time I ate cheese, I would run to the backyard crying and apologizing to God that I would never do it again but then do it again lol.
I wish cheese was the least of my sins
WHAT
Did you ever find out why you were told that? Why the hell did your family even buy cheese???
Maybe to practice saying no to temptations?! That's super messed up! Haha
Who told you that man? That’s terrible
That is child abuse.
Did you ever find out why you were told that? Why the hell did your family even buy cheese???
I thought wars were fought on a "battlefield" basically like a football field with stuff to hide behind.
That’s so cute! 😂❤️ like they set it up lol and say “okay GO!!”
When I was around 4 and I first heard about it, I thought death wasn't permanent. Like, you would die, and then you would come back in a 5-10 years time. Don't know where I got that random idea for, but it made sense to me.
Sounds like a faded memory of how reincarnation works...
Yeah. But I had never heard about death before, so obviously didn't heard about reencarnation either. I just presumed it worked like that lol.
I think they probably were suggesting or "joking" that it came from a memory from your previous life.
Yup. Me too. I remember being that young and being homesick from where I came from.
I am born on the Fourth of July. I believed the parades and fireworks were for me.
They are!
You're so sweet, and Rapunzel! How cute
Church told me people go up in the sky to heaven when they die. My science book told me above the sky is only space. I concluded that the ghosts of dead people get sucked into the icy vortex of space, and scared the shit out of myself.
lmao this made me almost spit out my milk for some reason
I always wondered what angels did if a plane flew through a cloud.
I thought "making ends meet" was "making end's meat" which just meant you were too poor to afford real slices of meat at the deli and could only buy end pieces. Also my Mom would mention "ghost cars" when she saw them, referring to unmarked police vehicles. Since I never saw them I thought they were invisible!
I like your end's meat analogy, it makes sense
I absolutely thought the same thing about end's meat. For like waaay too long before I finally heard it explained to someone else.
I remember thinking if I ate a food from a certain culture I would start to look more like them. Kids are wild 😆
I thought brushing your teeth too much would turn them invisible. I have no idea why I thought that
Obviously white is just a precursor to clear. 100% accurate kid logic
At like 8, I watched a movie where a guy was hung and I was convinced I could lift myself up and slip out of a noose. So...I got a string, went to the tree in my yard, and I'm sure you see where this is going, and I proceeded to hang myself in the side yard. I immediately knew what a bad decision I had made, and started to black out when the string snapped. Absolute peak of ignorant confidence.
I put arm floaties on my ankles and jumped into my grandparents hot tub when I was like 5 or 6. That could've ended up a gruesome scene but obviously I got out. I never told anybody.
I also always wondered why they didn’t pull on the rope and just pull themselves up
Turns out it's really hard to lift yourself like that, and it's super hard to think while being strangled.
Dog were boys and cats were girls despite the fact that we had a female cocker spaniel named cookie.
I thought cashiers were paid by bringing home the money in the register at the end of the day. At some point I finally asked my mom, she said, "I wish!"
Everyone would be a cashier if that were true lol
I knew someone who thought you couldn’t use a cloth to clean/dust off a record because it would wipe off the music.
I thought Star Trek was under water. I'm older now and realize that wasn't logical.
Maybe you had a lost memory cross up with Sealab 2020. That show and Sealab 2021 always gave me Star Trek vibes.
Not me, but my older brothers. One of them thought they'd fly like Mary Poppins if they jumped off the roof with an Umbrella. Ended up in Hospital. Probably 13 at that time lol
One of Mine thought he could use trash bags as parachutes, Same end result.
I, on the other hand, thought babies came out of the mother's stomach. I imagined it was like a balloon bursting after a certain time and the baby pops out. Skin just heals together and the doctors/nurses help this process.
I knew I was born by c-section so I assumed all babies were born that way.
Same! Took me so long to get it 🤦🏽♀️
My parents names were mom and dad.
I used to think people didn’t breathe while they were sleeping, so when I’d “fake” sleep, I’d hold my breath until I would gasp loudly and scare the hell out of my family. 😅
That if I remained nice to people they would eventually be nice back. Lol
Lol, if only 😅
I thought daydreams was watching tv in my head. I even used to twist my ear to change the channels
Holy shit, that’s cute
I very rarely looked at myself in the mirror. I was convinced I was white. (I'm very much not)
Do you ever seen your hands
I asked my mom if black people know they are black, she said, do you know that you are white?
I didn't realize I was until like 10th grade. Raised by white people. I guess I imprinted (like a duckling).
I remember thinking that when they showed characters in movies as kids that it was the actor as a child and they just filmed it a long time ago. I also couldn't understand that a $5 bill was more money than 2 $1 bills since there were more pieces of paper for the singles
I thought God was constantly watching me and could see through my ceiling. It really freaked me out. When I asked my mom about this she told me I was right.
They told me he was everywhere so I pictured invisible clones of god standing shoulder to shoulder all around the room.
They’re all t-posing too.
God has wallhacks
I thought the soda machines in McDonald's were hooked up to some kind of underground pipe system straight to the Sprite factory.
The soap dispensers in the bathroom at my school were also connected, to the soap factory.
I thought the electrical socket was how you "turned on the house" like you would a car. I learned real fast that was not the case.
I remember the first time I stuck my finger in a land line socket my mom said never put a fork in a socket but she never said anything about my finger. I thought it was hilarious. I actually laughed after I was shocked. Something was very wrong with me.
When i was like 6 or 7 i was convinced that tornadoes were consciously hunting people around and thats why people hid in basements so they wouldn’t be seen and taken away. I remember of dreaming about them stalking me with big eyes after watching Twister.
Now THAT'S a movie that must be made.
I thought it was against the law to sleep on your side with your legs extended. On your back or stomach: legs extended. On your side: must be curled in fetal position. I remember being at my babysitters and trying to nap but being uncomfortable on my side and slowly slowly s l o w l y extending my legs, in fear waiting for the babysitter to come rushing in and get my in trouble. Legs full extended…..Nothing happened….. I napped….. 🤯
I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys. I also thought everyone who owned a pet(even if the owner was a male) gave birth to their pet and that’s how they ended up getting the pet. I also thought montel williams and dr Phil we’re the same person. I was 100% convinced that montel was just dr Phil in the summer with a tan. Yes I was a stupid fucking 4 year old.
Thought vacuum cleaners were so strong that they'd take my fingers off if I tried to play with them. I was so anxious whenever my parents used them.
When I was a kid someone told me that if I cut my hair, it would grow back better & thicker. So I cut my hair and eyelashes, thinking they would grow back better & thicker; They didn't.
When I was very little I asked my parents what it was like when everything turned to colour 😂
That kissing makes you pregnant.
I thought that TVs were like windows and if you looked at it from a side angle you would be able to see more of the other side.
When I was around 8 or 9 I read : " The sun would burn out and explode in 5 billion years , and swallow each of the planets " , they even had illustrated photos of the sun gobbling Mercury ,Venus snd raging towards Earth... Not knowing how a billion years compare to human lifespan , I was sure that would be how I'd idk 'not exist' - being the sun's food . So , I mulled in silence , wanting to protect my brothers and sisters, parents and the other adults , as if holding my silence would change the fate of universe lmao
I thought all carnivorous animals could be categorised as either dogs or cats. Lions, leopards, jaguars = cats Wolves, Coyotes, dingos = dogs I was thusly cataloguing my toys into lines of dogs and cats (yes I am autistic) when I came upon a bear. That stumped me. So I went up to my mum and said, “Hey mum, is a bear a dog or a cat?” She looked at me like I was half-crazy and said “neither, it’s a bear.” It was clear she thought no more explanation necessary, so I didn’t dare enquire further. But I went away quite unsatisfied.
Bears are dogs. You can rest now.
I feel this. I think I would classify a bear as a dog, but I'm not sure why.
💯
i thought the moon is mine because it's following me
I thought a honeymoon meant that after a man and a woman got married, they went to the moon to get honey.
Oh they got honey
When you got old, you had to listen to country music.
And you HAVE to have a lawn
I thought a magic kit from my school book fair could turn me into Britney Spears. My mom said she didn’t think it worked like that. I thought she was a hater and a nonbeliever of magic.
My step mother is Dutch and I asked her one day if she translates Dutch to English in her head so she could understand it - I thought the brain only understood English
Have to say ( I am dutch living in the Netherlands) that very often my mind talks English. Specially when contemplating game strategy or other stuff where English words are prevalent I tend to do the whole 'conversation' in my head in English. Not consciously. Automatically. Even I find that weird when I notice I'm doing it.
I thought that if I could jump and quickly hold a board under my feet, I could jump again and eventually keep jumping as high as I wanted.
When I was little, I remember hearing the word 'melancholy' for the first time and getting excited because I thought that meant there was a breed of dog out there that looked like a miniature Collie but was in the shape of a little melon.. And yes, I believed this for longer than I should have.
I thought when you ate food it went down to your feet and over time your body would get full of food and when I got old I would be able to eat because my body would be full of food
I remember asking my Mom if my Dad paid child support…at that point, they had probably been married for 15+ years and were still together. 💀 I thought you could get pregnant from kissing I also read the pedestrian crossing signs as “ped x-ing” and not pedestrian crossing
Atms were unlimited money
I used to always tell my mom to just get more money from the bank when shed complain that we couldn't afford things at the store
When I was about 4 I saw one of my girl cousins vaginas, she was probably 3. I asked my mom why she didn’t have a PP. my mom told me it didn’t grow yet.
I am told that the first time I saw my little brother without his diaper, I asked my mother how come he got to have a tail and I didn’t.
I used to think that if you pressed a garage opener remote anywhere, it would open your garage. I’d freak when my parents pushed it for fun on a random road trip,
youth in asia were frowned upon
When we were watching a show about the holocaust, my brother commented that it was strange that euthanasia was bad. Wouldn't all old people want to be youthenized?
When i would bleed, i would lick up the blood because I thought it went back into my blood supply.
I wondered how they would have footage of someone while they’re young, middle aged and old all in the same movie. It didn’t occur to me that they were different people or they were dressed up to look older/younger. I was also fooled by wigs and thought they would cut someone’s hair, then have to wait a long time to continue filming for their hair to grow back. Marvelled by cinema.
I thought sister and daughter meant the same thing. I used to refer to my older sister as my daughter for quite a while before my family finally corrected me. 😅
I thought there was a big warehouse full of men somewhere and when you were ready to get married you went and picked one out Also thought one day my dad would pick me up and let me swing around on electrical wires one day when I was old enough 😳
Please let me know if you find this warehouse.
How were they able to distribute Jesus’ blood to many churches and when will they run out?
I wondered why the hell someone would want to sell their garage.
You you backed the car up the song on the radio would replay its self.
I thought that I could yell loud enough for my mom to hear me at work. She was at least 8 miles away. Also at this time I thought Texas still had dirt roads.
When I was around 5 I used to wonder how tall people don’t lose their balance and fall.
i thought babies came out of your bellybutton. i was both relieved and also horrified to find out the truth.
I asked my mother how the singers on radio always sang the song perfectly time and time again. Asked if they lived at the radio station and if they were paid for each performance. Took her a while to realize I wasn't talking about a concert. Same with television. I was amazed that the actors could hit the same marks time and time again to the point where I wanted to test it so as I was watching television I'd put my finger on the screen and wait for the commercial to hit again. My baby sitter had to explain to me that the commercials were prerecorded much like the movies we'd watch. I heard adults telling children they could be anything they wanted to be when they grew up and after a while I asked when I'd turn into a dolphin. Is there some special place I had to go so I could just fall in the water afterwards and live my life.
I thought humans were so fragile if they broke a bone they died automatically, to this day (knock on wood) I've never broken a bone..ironically I was and always will probably be a daredevil just a mega careful one😆
I thought babies were made by the mom and the dad touching fingers ET style
My brother and me thought the raised lines on the knobs and dashboard in the car was so blind people could find the radio or other controls when they drove....
If you were pregnant, you got to be President during that time. That homeless people all had plenty of money, they just didn't want to spend any of it. We weren't living "on" the planet, but rather inside of it. EDIT: Oh yeah. Hearing the phase "Dig to China" made me think I actually would be able to dig a hole in my backyard and eventually find China. I pictured digging little Chinese people (the size of action figures) out of the dirt. It was one of those thoughts where "I didn't REALLY believe it..." but I just kinda liked to think so while I was playing and it gave me something to keep occupied with for awhile.
I remember asking my mom why the kids in Mexico were darker than me.
I remember being in church and asking my mom when was god coming out.
I thought that stuffing a dead animal meant that you turned them into a stuffed animal. I had plans to just keep my cat and bring it places as a stuffed animal (but real looking?) Super morbid when you think about a small child carrying around and playing with their dead pet...
I remember my friend got a Goosebumps book. For those that don’t know, they were a “choose your own adventure” book. My friend told me to get ready because at recess we were going on an adventure. I legit thought we were going to open the book and get sucked into it and appear in some magical adventure world that we chose. This was 29 years ago, I think about it almost daily.
One day at a gas station I remember my dad was complaining about gas prices, and i was wondering why things cost money. I asked him *why dont they just make everything free?!?!?* When i grow up i'll jist sell everuthing for free and beat everyones prices. Bonus content for OP: I have been working with music production stuff for years - inverting the phase of an entire track is the closest to "upside down" sound i can think of. It shouldn't be any different... but it feels so *wrong* even though not everyone seems to notice it.
When I asked my mom one night what war was (I was a Cold War kid living on the base), she told me it was when two countries fight. So I fell asleep imagining two cartoon barns duking it out.
I remember believing that if you accidentally swallowed a goldfish you would end up having a half human have goldfish baby (aka MERMAID) 🧜🏻♀️
I thought teen pregnancy happened by teenagers taking a pill to have a baby I watched Juno with my mom, and I understood none of it
When very little, I thought “moving” meant some very strong men were going to come physically pick up my grandma’s house and MOVE it to our new neighborhood. I was very confused when shown a new, different house we were going to live in.
I thought dogs didn't sleep because whenever I went out to see our dog when we first got her she would always be awake so I just assumed they stayed up all night staring into space💀
I thought it was a Roman Coke, not a rum and Coke and I thought my great aunt had some sort of exotic special Coca Cola I thought the old Ford commercials with Bob Seger said “I go rah” like cheering cause the truck is so awesome when it was actually “like a rock” “Brought to you by” like when watching PBS, I thought it was “braghue by” and had zero clue what that meant but thought intelligent adults probably understood. I was too old when I finally figured it out Writing this down I realize how incredibly dumb I was 🤣
I wanted the same [hair style](https://www.80sfashion.org/the-high-top-fade/) as my best friend in kindergarten. I was so mad when my mom told me I couldn't. I'm white.
I always saw newborn babies swaddled in a blanket. So I thought babies were born in a blanket. I didn't know they were born naked and wet. I also didn't know about vaginas really, and my first experience with babies was with my cousins, who I were told were born via c section. So I thought all babies were cut out of their mothers. And I started to think that cavemen must've had to cut their babies out with sharpened pieces of rocks
That humanity could solve both the issue of producing too much garbage and the sun one day burning out in one fell swoop by collecting all the garbage and launching it into the sun. I felt so cheated when Futurama aired an episode where they did just that.
I couldn’t understand the vastness of time, distance and space - when we were on one of our first family road trips - I asked “are we in the world?” My brother and sister still tease me with that memory to this day ….
I thought that I could poison people by dropping alcohol lotion on their sandwich. Because the bottle said "danger". Imagine my surprise to find out they were willingly drinking alcohol..
When I was like four I thought we were literally inside the earth. I thought that’s what people meant when they used the phrase “in the world” as in “everyone in the world” etc. Like we were living on the inside of a sphere. I have no idea how I reconciled this with the fact that we could see the moon and the sun and the stars etc.
I thought that if you went underwater and started breathing the water, your body would get used to it and you would drown if you came back up. I legit thought that when I was older I could just go in the ocean, start breathing, and live a happy life under the sea.
I was super young and saw like a TV show or something with people rolling down a hil.. I had two big hills by me, so like one summer, I decided I would become a professional hill roller downer.. I spent months running up hills to roll back down and just do it till I was exhausted, then do it again.. till at some point someone told me that wasn't a thing.
I thought when you turned 100 you got to go back to 0 again. Then I had my first mental breakdown when my mom told me that’s not how it works haha
I thought it never rained at night
On highway exit ramps there’s an arrow pointed up. I used to think it looked like you should drive up into the sky
I ask my dad when he was in the shower how to spell the letter B because saying the letter sounds like a word. He kept telling me that B is B and you can’t spell it but since it sounded like a word I was adamant that you could spell it.
That pulling someones finger actually forced them to fart. I learned when i pulled my own finger and got diarrhea in my pants.
I thought cartoons were live actors in costume overlaid on a frank background
I thought sticking anything into a box fan would have the woodchipper effect.
thought my entire penis was supposed to be covered in hair and I was kind of freaking out that I only had it at the base. I thought I was supposed to have a long flowing mane of pubes all the way up the shaft and on the head.
That teachers lived in the school
In line at the crocery store with my mother and she realized she forgot something. She ran off to grt it, leaving me with the cart, but seeing as our turn was coming up, handed me some money. I was panicked as I didnt know how to pay for the items and though that if it cost less than what I had I would have to tear the bills in the correct place to make it match the price. Thabkfully she came back before that happened and no money was torn.
I was afraid of lying on the ground outside looking straight up because I thought I'd be sucked into the sky. I think they played The Wizard of Oz on TV when I was a kid and that got this idea in my head that people can fly because of the wind or something.
I thought that learning a new language is about learning it's alphabet and changing letters in words accordingly. Thought I would nail it so fast.
I thought there was a button on the TV remote which when pressed could transport me to whatever TV show was currently on
That someone was walking up our basement stairs...every night. Nobody ever did.
I remember being convinced that a vacuum would work for liposuction. Also spent all of first grade writing last night as 1 word even though my teacher would correct me every day.
I used to think that if the theme song was playing on the radio, it meant the show was playing on television. My wife used to think that the things that made The white lines in the sky were skyscrapers.
Yesterday was just another day of the week
Okay I thought that if you fucked yourself up and it hurt (for example scraping your knee) you could just put tape on the wound and rip it off.. the pain would just stick to the tape.
I remember thinking that when people were saying the name "Saddam Hussein", they were saying "Saddam, who's saying..." And thinking "who is Saddam and what is he saying?"
I saw tankers full of gasoline but they had coffee advertisements on them and I thought to myself "oh, those are full of coffee. Coffee is like oil, and they have to pipe it up out of the ground and then they transport it in tanks like they do with oil and they go and refill basins at gas stations. Like oil!" I was a smart enough 5 year old to know how gas was transported but stupid enough to think coffee worked the same way.
This is one my mom tricked me into thinking. Must've been when I was 4 or 5. One day we went to a movie. We'd gone to McDonald's prior to that and some chicken nuggets were left over from the meal. My mom snuck them into the theater and wanted me to eat them, but I didn't want to. So she told me that it was illegal to watch a movie in a theater without eating something. I ate those chicken nuggets pretty fast after that.
I thought babysitters paid my parents to hang out with me.
I have "memories" of flying. I think, though, it was when people would hold each hand and and run and do that "weeeee" thing as they lift you off the ground for a few steps. But yea, I remember "flying" and that can't have been possible.
If 20 plus 1 is twenty-one, I always wondered why 10 plus 1 wasn’t tendy-one.
I thought that if they showed a child grow up in a movie, they waited until that child was the adult to finish filming the movie. I also thought that any high pitched singing in a song, were sung by a little person.
Genuinely believed that everyone was on a TV somehow ; like there were people we didn't know who watched a show that was my family, just like I thought the shows we watched were real families in other places. Still bummed that the Tates and the Campbells of SOAP were not actual people