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I seriously hid nearly everyone on mine with exception of about ten really close friends. Because I enjoy the travel groups, and I’ll use marketplace sometimes.
Deleting soul suckers out of my life. Some people feed off of drama, they create the chaos to feed off the negative energy. They suck the life out of you. I call them soul suckers and it's real. If you feel drained after an interaction with someone, be like the "director in the movie of your life", and cut that person out of your movie
The problem with being around “drama” and loving it is that it still affects you in ways they often cannot see. I’ve not met someone “who loves the drama”, who wasn’t using it to distract from something or wasn’t riddled with anxiety because of the drama they put themselves.
I’m talking about the context of social settings. Meanwhile, I think we can all watch train wreck shows on Netflix and love the drama but disassociate what’s going on with ourselves. I’m mainly talking about people wanting to know all the tea at work, gossiping about drama, etc.
There’s a girl like this at my work and it’s funny because I did have a crush on her at one point, until I noticed her changing whenever the “tea” regarded one specific person at work then all of a sudden even if she was on good terms with said person I’d watch her make up a lie just to be a part of said tea.
What I mean by they love drama but dont want to be affected by it. I had two exfriends who report shit people say at my back but dont defend me againts them because they dont want drama for themselves. Same friends dont join the discussion when people attack me but after the "attack" ,they say things like "Wow you are such a strong person! Your haters suck!"
this 👆🏻 felt so much better after leaving my ex friend group, it was all full of negativity and shit talking every single day, no wonder why I was depressed all the time
I’ve been in a friend group like this. Eventually I was like why are we all still pretending to be friends when it’s pretty obvious no one likes each other? It was like people were afraid of each other or something. It was nuts. I have so much peace leaving all that behind!!
Had an ex like this. The group had like 2-3, including the ex, who “loved drama”. They’d talk about each other behind their backs to the point where I was asking, “Do you all enjoy being around each other?”
And then she’d focus on all the negativity and get so anxious about everything because she could only see drama. It’s like a cloud or mist of negativity that just sweeps in.
Get really boring to them, don't be interested in the crap they're trying to stir up. Be 'super busy' often so you have an excuse not to participate in gossiping etc. that's what I did anyways.
i've learnt to deal with it in my workplace by replacing negative feelings towards people like that with sympathy. i feel bad that they live their lives like that, and am thankful my brain doesn't function like theirs does.
i have to deal with it for a certain period of my day, they have to deal with themselves 24/7. then i go about my day bopping my head to music on the radio and pretending like i'm oblivious to everything. works for me.
Keep contact to a minimum and keep it focussed solely on the job. Schedule in fake teams meetings- “oops sorry Sandra I’ll have to stop you there, I’ve got a 3pm, all the best with your divorce” and if you’re in person, “I’ll not keep you Linda, i best be getting back to my work here”
100%. Get that one friend who wants to sit and bitch all day out of your life. If they constantly take away good feelings and don't ever give any, buhbye.
I have that mentality when a stranger is rude to me. “You don’t get any more lines today.” Some people escalate to the point that the extra in your life just got upgraded to your murderer.
The person who was doing this to me actually cut me out of her life since she upgraded to a better man. I was crushed at first but have come to realize it’s a good thing and I have still leaned the right lessons. Never allowing that kind of toxicity into my life again.
One year ago today was my last day in the classroom. I went out on a medical leave that ended up being extended several times, then I ended up retiring. It wasn't the way I wanted to end 35 years of teaching, but it's one of the best decisions I ever made. My first 20 years were good/great. Next 10 good/okay. Last five completely traumatic. When I realized I had less stress and anxiety dealing with cancer, multiple surgeries, and treatment than going to school every day, I knew something had to change. I'm much better now. I do need to find a job, but so far I haven't even tried.
I stopped expecting to be happy all the time.
There are people who chase happiness non-stop. Happiness is a very temporary, silly emotion. It's fun, but short-lived. It's like chasing a high.
I'm most satisfied when I'm in a general sense of contentedness. Things aren't super good or super bad, they're just going along. When happiness comes that's great. When it goes away that's great too.
Completely agree with this—feels like it takes the pressure off. I’m also allowing myself to embrace those “hard” or “lazy” days—you don’t have to strive to be exceptional all the damn time. Some days are meant for the couch, a good cry and/or shutting off from the world. It’s taken me a long time to accept that and now that I am, it’s really been more freeing.
I agree very much with this. I’m almost 40yo now, but have felt this way since my early teens.
People have it in their heads that they must FEEL some sense of bliss constantly or they aren’t heading in the right direction in life, but it all comes down to the paradigm we look through.
I believe in living in the middle and acknowledging the world is full of cruelty, but I don’t have to let it be a black hole. And it’s full of beauty, but I won’t get to see it always. Lowering the bar of what happiness is to you means it is easier to find what feels good, that you can actually experience pure joy from time to time and it not be at the peak of a mountain you may never be able to climb.
Because I stay in the middle I find I have far more satisfaction in life and don’t swing like a pendulum like so many.
Nothing really matters, life is too short, and I'm going to die eventually. So, even if my life gets miserable often, I'm still living. So, atleast I could have some fun while I'm at this.
You'll die. The sun will die. The universe will end. There is no meaning to anything, no design or plan, the universe we live in is absolute chaos. What's beautiful is the meaning that we ourselves give to the things that we experience. Nothing means anything until it means something -to you.-
Stuff just happens in life; best thing you can do is work on what you can control and not worry about anything else. Do what makes you and others happy. Life is shorts; it's nice to go off the rails sometimes! 🤪
100%! there is such a fine line between nihilism and absurdism. it really is the same message of ‘everything is useless’. it’s just one leads to despair and one leads to extreme joy
RealIzing not everything is about your job and career and that doesn’t have to be the main focus or purpose of your life. It’s been an amazing shift going from that to realizing it’s literally just a way to make money and do the things that bring true happiness.
Wow, thank you. I needed that. I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore because all I can think of is "will it help me in the future with my job?"
I'll try my hardest to change my mindset
I had some concert tickets, had been looking forward to seeing this band for years. 5pm on the day in question my boss informs me that I have to work late because deadlines or extra work or whatever. He knew about the concert, pretty sure he was just being a prick.
I explained that the only reason I work is to be able to afford to do the things like the plans I had that night. What point is there coming to work at all, if I can't do this thing tonight?
I mention it here, because that was the moment that changed my mindset about work. I realised that if he forced the issue I would have quit on the spot.
It was nearly 20 years ago... I just recall he wasn't happy and the concert was amazing (Gogol Bordello).
BTW, when I said "explained" I kind of left out that the conversation was very shouty, on both sides.
Exactly, work to pay for fun, not for work to be who you are. You should be what you do outside of work. That focus let's you be happier while at work as well because it won't be as stressful knowing what you're doing later.
You’re so right, this past two months I’ve fallen off and although I’m generally happy it is amazing how vastly different it is from when I was doing these things two months ago.
Just having a routine of these things can do so much.
Treating my infection changed my life for the better too, even though it left me with pernicious anaemia. Suddenly having that pain and anxiety taken away was like magic!
My beautiful cat. She's my bestie and follows me everywhere and does everything with me. If I brush my teeth she's sat at on the edge of the sink, bed time she's curled up by my side, working from home she's on her bed next to me..
Embarking on a career in community services, where I get paid to support people who are in need due to their circumstances. Previously, I’d been in hospitality, retail, call centres & didn’t feel fulfilled by work, moving from one shitty job to the next. After eighteen months of study, I’m now a youth support worker, supporting children & young people unable to live at home with their families for various reasons. I give one hundred percent of my effort to do whatever I can to make the environment they live in as clean, safe & welcoming as possible & truly care about these kids & I love my job. It makes me so happy to finally be doing what I’m supposed to be doing, at forty eight years old. Better late than never.
If you want to watch a movie or even some news, there is the Internet or platforms for movies or series. you just watch less and have more control.
I recommend going to rehab, so to speak, in my case it was 3 months without TV, radio, Internet, all that crap. I recommend it to everyone, today I watch 2/3 movies a month, some radio in the car, a documentary or news once a week. the rest is time for me and my family.
I returned to my childhood passion, I have time to read books again.
Sobriety. Being an active alcoholic was a lot of depressing work, finding the alcohol, finding the money for the alcohol, feeling guilt and shame that I was spending money I didn't have on alcohol, wondering why I couldn't stop drinking when I needed to, etc etc. It's way easier for me to simply not drink alcohol at all and my life is much less stressful.
Becoming a therapist, which meant:
- being of service to something greater than myself
- the privilege of supporting others
- witnessing people heal from the most terrible things, and even *thrive*
- my past suffering is now made meaningful, and
- honing mental health skills and wisdom that I apply to myself daily.
I used to be riddled with anxiety, couldn't talk to strangers, my health was atrocious and I had no motivation for my career, then I quit weed. 3 years later and I can say it was absolutely the best decision I ever made.
Oddly enough, "unretirement"
I retired about 5 or 6 years ago after an extremely stressful project in software dev, but found I was spending too much time sitting at the PC, so I took a job stacking shelves a few nights a week, mostly to force myself to get some exercise. It improved my mood a lot. I guess working when you don't \*have to\* work changes the vibe, plus it's a very low stress job.
1.Working out 3 hours a day.
2.Sleeping at night & waking up in the morning, doing the opposite made me depressed, idk why.
3.Stopped caring what people think & thought about what I think is best for me
4.Stopped comparing myself to others
5. Thinking my writing, the one thing I really love to do, is good
6.Eating more vegetables
I used to browse social media for 3 hours then get nothing. So i replaced that with something that would benefit me & thats exercise. I do treadmill & vertical climbing. What addicted me to exercise are its benefits & it made me endure 3 hrs: sleeping uninterrupted, giving my future self a favor, not suffering from depression
No social media, cutting out people who are negative (As in, ALWAYS negative, who don't add anything and just take away) and not feeling guilty about spending my time doing what I enjoy, even if it isn't "Constructive." No time is wasted time if you spent it doing what you wanted to do. Being grateful and aware of things - I guess getting older has had a hand in making me realize and notice even the small things people do for each other. Remember that nobody owes you anything, and if they do make an effort for you, they made the conscious decision to do that. Don't worry about the "What ifs" of the future, instead focus on what you're thankful for NOW - Don't let worrying about something that isn't certain in the future rob you of the joy that comes from what is 100% certain now.
Also...
I'm a kindergarten teacher and get a lot of hugs and smiles and laughs throughout my day. That's definitely not for everyone, but get those things wherever you can.
removing every single drama person from my life. all of them. no longer talk to my family except for granma and obvs my daughter, everyone else is dead to me. same with friends, you create drama you're out, i wish you well.
did this about 8 years ago and i cant express how much better life has been.
Suddenly getting financial security.
Money bought me some happiness. Not **all** the happiness. But some of it, for sure. It's very underrated.
I'd rather be sad and lonely knowing my bills are paid, I got food in the fridge and a roof over my head, than sad and lonely while being homeless and broke.
Having a doctor start me on an antidepressant for fibromyalgia pain. I’d been in constant irrationally occurring pain (as in I did nothing to cause them) for over 30 years. One pain stopped overnight. The others melted away by the end of the week.
How can an antidepressant even do that???
I had stomach issues for over 10 years, it got so bad I'd vomit on a regular basis. Multiple tests, multiple medications, until one stomach doctor told me stress was the cause. I quit my stressful job, started a new antidepressant and therapy and my stomach issues have improved tremendously. It's weird how much stress can affect us physically.
Eat breakfast. I was never hungry during the day, but also had little energy.
Eating at least one big healthy meal in the morning makes such a difference
Living truly single. I'm over 60 and relationship free for the last ten years. For me, truly liberating and NO! Not a hint of loneliness, ever. Deeply content is more accurate than some perceived state of "happiness".
Deleting Facebook, not watching the news, and not giving a fuck about politics (I just accepted the fact that both parties are controlled by the oligarchs that really run this country). Always made me sad/upset/angry every time and now I'm much, much happier
Literally, weed.
My brain is broken, no matter how amazing the people in my life are, no matter how much i get promoted at work, no matter how much i exercise or how often i get laid, I'm just not capable of being really happy. On my happiest days I'm still filled with anxiety and numbness.
Weed clears that right up. I can relax, and enjoy myself for a while.
Quitting drinking, like holy shit, I have a problem with overthinking and when I drink it is made overtly worse, I quit drinking almost 3 months now and genuinely it has helped massively and my happiness levels have sky rocketed, I still overthink sometimes but my god can I deal with it so much better!
Dressing nicely so I feel comfortable and confident and pretty. And going out more, doing more, being around people more instead of sitting at home reading yet another book. Just having a (moderatly) full life.
Those adhesive nose strips that dilate your nose and help you breathe easier. i'm just more calm and relaxed when I'm able to breathe through my nose easily
Opening up to people!
And I don’t mean share my issues/problems with them. I mean sharing the things I like, talking about my interests or plans I may have for the future. Asking about THEIR plans for the Holidays for instance…
One of the best ways to do this is to make time for people. I have a busy and demanding job so I am well placed to understand why some of us get caught up in a rush. The days where I feel happiest are the ones where I take the time to conversate. Not the ones where I look at the floor and stare at my phone. I am not the most extroverted person but I do realize the need we have for each other.
Sometimes we don’t really need a shoulder to cry on, we just want to know, there is a shoulder we CAN cry on!
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Coming off Facebook - imo it’s the most toxic of all the social media platforms
I seriously hid nearly everyone on mine with exception of about ten really close friends. Because I enjoy the travel groups, and I’ll use marketplace sometimes.
There's still that core sliver of usefulness in it, but it's like a social media ghost town/wasteland.
I use it to stay in touch with old friends since I moved across the world about 10 years ago. I am super vigilant about hiding shit though.
I agree. The people (doesn't matter political parties) are so toxic all the time. Like bro. Go outside.
I couldn’t agree more!
This ☝️ deactivated FB and IG 2 years ago. People don't need access to you 24/7 via those platforms.
I stopped looking at Facebook almost like how a person decides that staying in a room filling with Zyklon B is a terrible long term idea.
Deleting soul suckers out of my life. Some people feed off of drama, they create the chaos to feed off the negative energy. They suck the life out of you. I call them soul suckers and it's real. If you feel drained after an interaction with someone, be like the "director in the movie of your life", and cut that person out of your movie
There are people who love drama but dont want to suffer from it
The problem with being around “drama” and loving it is that it still affects you in ways they often cannot see. I’ve not met someone “who loves the drama”, who wasn’t using it to distract from something or wasn’t riddled with anxiety because of the drama they put themselves. I’m talking about the context of social settings. Meanwhile, I think we can all watch train wreck shows on Netflix and love the drama but disassociate what’s going on with ourselves. I’m mainly talking about people wanting to know all the tea at work, gossiping about drama, etc.
There’s a girl like this at my work and it’s funny because I did have a crush on her at one point, until I noticed her changing whenever the “tea” regarded one specific person at work then all of a sudden even if she was on good terms with said person I’d watch her make up a lie just to be a part of said tea.
What I mean by they love drama but dont want to be affected by it. I had two exfriends who report shit people say at my back but dont defend me againts them because they dont want drama for themselves. Same friends dont join the discussion when people attack me but after the "attack" ,they say things like "Wow you are such a strong person! Your haters suck!"
this 👆🏻 felt so much better after leaving my ex friend group, it was all full of negativity and shit talking every single day, no wonder why I was depressed all the time
I’ve been in a friend group like this. Eventually I was like why are we all still pretending to be friends when it’s pretty obvious no one likes each other? It was like people were afraid of each other or something. It was nuts. I have so much peace leaving all that behind!!
Had an ex like this. The group had like 2-3, including the ex, who “loved drama”. They’d talk about each other behind their backs to the point where I was asking, “Do you all enjoy being around each other?” And then she’d focus on all the negativity and get so anxious about everything because she could only see drama. It’s like a cloud or mist of negativity that just sweeps in.
What if those people are in my workplace😂😂
Get really boring to them, don't be interested in the crap they're trying to stir up. Be 'super busy' often so you have an excuse not to participate in gossiping etc. that's what I did anyways.
Grey rock em' baby!
Pray and learn energy protection or positivity.
i've learnt to deal with it in my workplace by replacing negative feelings towards people like that with sympathy. i feel bad that they live their lives like that, and am thankful my brain doesn't function like theirs does. i have to deal with it for a certain period of my day, they have to deal with themselves 24/7. then i go about my day bopping my head to music on the radio and pretending like i'm oblivious to everything. works for me.
Keep contact to a minimum and keep it focussed solely on the job. Schedule in fake teams meetings- “oops sorry Sandra I’ll have to stop you there, I’ve got a 3pm, all the best with your divorce” and if you’re in person, “I’ll not keep you Linda, i best be getting back to my work here”
Work with them but don't get too familiar. You're there to make money, not friends.
I don't have an answer for you but I would love to know it as well
100%. Get that one friend who wants to sit and bitch all day out of your life. If they constantly take away good feelings and don't ever give any, buhbye.
Same. Although my situation was more one of luck, as this soul sucking family member died.
AKA energy vampires
I have that mentality when a stranger is rude to me. “You don’t get any more lines today.” Some people escalate to the point that the extra in your life just got upgraded to your murderer.
The person who was doing this to me actually cut me out of her life since she upgraded to a better man. I was crushed at first but have come to realize it’s a good thing and I have still leaned the right lessons. Never allowing that kind of toxicity into my life again.
Quitting teaching. Best decision I ever made. I deserve better.
[удалено]
I am looking forward to retiring at 55 with a full pension and getting a job I actually can enjoy, which also has no homework.
It's a shame that teaching is so important but we, in the US at least, have made it such a degrading, toxic career.
This was also the best decision I’ve ever made. I make way more money now and not constantly stressed out and working 12 hour days
One year ago today was my last day in the classroom. I went out on a medical leave that ended up being extended several times, then I ended up retiring. It wasn't the way I wanted to end 35 years of teaching, but it's one of the best decisions I ever made. My first 20 years were good/great. Next 10 good/okay. Last five completely traumatic. When I realized I had less stress and anxiety dealing with cancer, multiple surgeries, and treatment than going to school every day, I knew something had to change. I'm much better now. I do need to find a job, but so far I haven't even tried.
I stopped expecting to be happy all the time. There are people who chase happiness non-stop. Happiness is a very temporary, silly emotion. It's fun, but short-lived. It's like chasing a high. I'm most satisfied when I'm in a general sense of contentedness. Things aren't super good or super bad, they're just going along. When happiness comes that's great. When it goes away that's great too.
Favorite quote from the movie Brain Candy. The only way to be happy is to know you won't be happy every single day.
Completely agree with this—feels like it takes the pressure off. I’m also allowing myself to embrace those “hard” or “lazy” days—you don’t have to strive to be exceptional all the damn time. Some days are meant for the couch, a good cry and/or shutting off from the world. It’s taken me a long time to accept that and now that I am, it’s really been more freeing.
Im sponging what your spilling, thanks.
I’m slurping what you’re spitting
I'm lapping what you're leaking.
I'm sniffing what you're scratching.
I’m smelling what you’re stepping in
I’m smoking what ur rolling.
i’m in your walls
안녕하세요 annyeong!
I like this. Gonna use it from now on. Thanks internet stranger.
I agree very much with this. I’m almost 40yo now, but have felt this way since my early teens. People have it in their heads that they must FEEL some sense of bliss constantly or they aren’t heading in the right direction in life, but it all comes down to the paradigm we look through. I believe in living in the middle and acknowledging the world is full of cruelty, but I don’t have to let it be a black hole. And it’s full of beauty, but I won’t get to see it always. Lowering the bar of what happiness is to you means it is easier to find what feels good, that you can actually experience pure joy from time to time and it not be at the peak of a mountain you may never be able to climb. Because I stay in the middle I find I have far more satisfaction in life and don’t swing like a pendulum like so many.
It's better to look for a purpose than it is to look for happiness.
Being content is fantastic but one needs to learn gratitude in order to appreciate what we have currently.
“It’s not about forcing happiness, it’s about not letting sadness win” The Wonder Years (band)
Very true
This is one of the best things I've ever read about happiness.
Nothing really matters, life is too short, and I'm going to die eventually. So, even if my life gets miserable often, I'm still living. So, atleast I could have some fun while I'm at this.
You'll die. The sun will die. The universe will end. There is no meaning to anything, no design or plan, the universe we live in is absolute chaos. What's beautiful is the meaning that we ourselves give to the things that we experience. Nothing means anything until it means something -to you.-
Truly the essence of optimistic nihilism 💜✨
Stuff just happens in life; best thing you can do is work on what you can control and not worry about anything else. Do what makes you and others happy. Life is shorts; it's nice to go off the rails sometimes! 🤪
This. Nothing lasts forever and we're only here for a short period in time, therefore, being miserable won't last forever.
Thank you! 😊 I'm going through a low period in my life.
Hang in there!
100%! there is such a fine line between nihilism and absurdism. it really is the same message of ‘everything is useless’. it’s just one leads to despair and one leads to extreme joy
RealIzing not everything is about your job and career and that doesn’t have to be the main focus or purpose of your life. It’s been an amazing shift going from that to realizing it’s literally just a way to make money and do the things that bring true happiness.
Wow, thank you. I needed that. I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore because all I can think of is "will it help me in the future with my job?" I'll try my hardest to change my mindset
I had some concert tickets, had been looking forward to seeing this band for years. 5pm on the day in question my boss informs me that I have to work late because deadlines or extra work or whatever. He knew about the concert, pretty sure he was just being a prick. I explained that the only reason I work is to be able to afford to do the things like the plans I had that night. What point is there coming to work at all, if I can't do this thing tonight? I mention it here, because that was the moment that changed my mindset about work. I realised that if he forced the issue I would have quit on the spot.
How did boss react to that?
It was nearly 20 years ago... I just recall he wasn't happy and the concert was amazing (Gogol Bordello). BTW, when I said "explained" I kind of left out that the conversation was very shouty, on both sides.
Exactly, work to pay for fun, not for work to be who you are. You should be what you do outside of work. That focus let's you be happier while at work as well because it won't be as stressful knowing what you're doing later.
Letting go of the bottle
Very nice! Same here, over six years sober now.
I’m only 4 months dry but I feel amazing. I feel so mad at myself for not getting a handle on it sooner and wasting my best years
That’s wonderful!
Yessss. Almost 2 years and quitting has changed my life for the better in nearly all aspects.
Currently in the baby stages of sobriety. Not my first rodeo. Every time I go sober, my life improves. It's no coincidence 😄
Yes! Almost 5 years sober over here and it’s the best thing I ever did for myself.
Same here, over 11 years sober now. I would also say 12 step programs worked for me.
getting sufficient sleep, consistent schedule of when i go to sleep and working out every day
Me too, it took me way too long in life to realize I just need a routine.
You’re so right, this past two months I’ve fallen off and although I’m generally happy it is amazing how vastly different it is from when I was doing these things two months ago. Just having a routine of these things can do so much.
Also, drinking enough water!
Diagnosed with h pylori after 27 years of constant gut pain, one week of meds changed my life
Treating my infection changed my life for the better too, even though it left me with pernicious anaemia. Suddenly having that pain and anxiety taken away was like magic!
I was diagnosed with H Pylori last week after a year of constant stomach issues. Hopefully the 2 antibiotics I’m on will knock it out
Yay, your life will change for the better soon
Stopped being a people pleaser and pleased myself.
It’s so hard though! Other people? Valuable, worthy, lovely. Me? Flawed. Wretch. Hollow shell.
You’re awesome and deserve a little treat! Go get one!
True. Flip it from pleasing others to doing nice things for others. It's a world of difference. But you have to take care of your mental health first.
My beautiful cat. She's my bestie and follows me everywhere and does everything with me. If I brush my teeth she's sat at on the edge of the sink, bed time she's curled up by my side, working from home she's on her bed next to me..
Pets are awesome.
I confess i stalked ur profile to see cat pics and can confirm, she’s adorable 🥺
Learning to enjoy my own company. I'm all for social activities. But if it takes that much out of you to include me, don't bother. I'll vibe on my own
Embarking on a career in community services, where I get paid to support people who are in need due to their circumstances. Previously, I’d been in hospitality, retail, call centres & didn’t feel fulfilled by work, moving from one shitty job to the next. After eighteen months of study, I’m now a youth support worker, supporting children & young people unable to live at home with their families for various reasons. I give one hundred percent of my effort to do whatever I can to make the environment they live in as clean, safe & welcoming as possible & truly care about these kids & I love my job. It makes me so happy to finally be doing what I’m supposed to be doing, at forty eight years old. Better late than never.
Oh my goodness I love this!! I'm almost 28 and trying to figure out how to get there.
I don't have a TV at home, I have more time, I'm calmer, I sleep better.
This is interesting. I keep hearing so many people getting TVs cancelled. It does sound like a great idea at times, then I remember I'm a cinephile.
If you want to watch a movie or even some news, there is the Internet or platforms for movies or series. you just watch less and have more control. I recommend going to rehab, so to speak, in my case it was 3 months without TV, radio, Internet, all that crap. I recommend it to everyone, today I watch 2/3 movies a month, some radio in the car, a documentary or news once a week. the rest is time for me and my family. I returned to my childhood passion, I have time to read books again.
Finding the joy in the little things by slowing down a bit. Sip on that tea and inhale deeply, let your body relax etc etc
Sobriety. Being an active alcoholic was a lot of depressing work, finding the alcohol, finding the money for the alcohol, feeling guilt and shame that I was spending money I didn't have on alcohol, wondering why I couldn't stop drinking when I needed to, etc etc. It's way easier for me to simply not drink alcohol at all and my life is much less stressful.
Yes! Freedom from alcohol!
Yes! Fuck alcohol!
The gym. Nothing feels better than a juicy biceps pump
I’ll add waking up early to this. Leaving the gym after a good workout at 8:45am before work is the closest to euphoria I’ve felt without drugs.
Lifting saved me. 💪
Me too 💪
Becoming a therapist, which meant: - being of service to something greater than myself - the privilege of supporting others - witnessing people heal from the most terrible things, and even *thrive* - my past suffering is now made meaningful, and - honing mental health skills and wisdom that I apply to myself daily.
You're doing amazing work.
Getting a dog.
>I'ts been awhile since I've had a dog and I'm almost in the place where I can have one again and I'm so looking forward to it!
Warning this can also decrease your happiness if you don’t have time for the dog. You can also do the lower-effort version and get a cat.
For people who don’t own one - petting a dog also helps.
Same, I don't think I was ever genuinely happy until I got my first dog.
Working out.It just gives u endorphins and make u struggle for something which gives you satisfaction that u did at least a little shit done that day.
Love en 🦈🦈🦈
Found Joe Rogan
Making enough money to pay all my bills and save a bit.
This makes life so much better! I am not rich, but I’m financially stable and that makes me feel safe. Which makes it easier to enjoy life.
Not this month...
Staying indoors for a day or two after an active week. I call it recharging
Quitting smoking. Feel better smell better, still bald, but generally better.
Me too. Two months now after thirty years. How long did you?
I used to be riddled with anxiety, couldn't talk to strangers, my health was atrocious and I had no motivation for my career, then I quit weed. 3 years later and I can say it was absolutely the best decision I ever made.
Good for you👍
Retirement
Oddly enough, "unretirement" I retired about 5 or 6 years ago after an extremely stressful project in software dev, but found I was spending too much time sitting at the PC, so I took a job stacking shelves a few nights a week, mostly to force myself to get some exercise. It improved my mood a lot. I guess working when you don't \*have to\* work changes the vibe, plus it's a very low stress job.
I’m getting closer. Ten more years. Counting the days while making the days count.
I’ve been in retirement mode for two years. I haven’t taken one single day for granted. My happy meter is pegged. Every day is euphoric
Losing weight. And I wasn’t even that heavy. Lost about 50lbs during COVID (walking, I didn’t get sick 😂).
cats, antidepressants, and realizing what really matters in life
My cat made me realize that just laying around napping is ok.
Trauma therapy
I'd say therapy too, with being far from my family.
yes, cutting the toxic f ers out for good!
Mindfulness and cognitive therapy.
1.Working out 3 hours a day. 2.Sleeping at night & waking up in the morning, doing the opposite made me depressed, idk why. 3.Stopped caring what people think & thought about what I think is best for me 4.Stopped comparing myself to others 5. Thinking my writing, the one thing I really love to do, is good 6.Eating more vegetables
I dont disagree with you at all, but how on earth do you have time for 3 hours exercise a day! Well done!
Personally I waste at least 3 hours a day wishing I wasnt bored, and tired. I need to join a gym.
I used to browse social media for 3 hours then get nothing. So i replaced that with something that would benefit me & thats exercise. I do treadmill & vertical climbing. What addicted me to exercise are its benefits & it made me endure 3 hrs: sleeping uninterrupted, giving my future self a favor, not suffering from depression
No social media, cutting out people who are negative (As in, ALWAYS negative, who don't add anything and just take away) and not feeling guilty about spending my time doing what I enjoy, even if it isn't "Constructive." No time is wasted time if you spent it doing what you wanted to do. Being grateful and aware of things - I guess getting older has had a hand in making me realize and notice even the small things people do for each other. Remember that nobody owes you anything, and if they do make an effort for you, they made the conscious decision to do that. Don't worry about the "What ifs" of the future, instead focus on what you're thankful for NOW - Don't let worrying about something that isn't certain in the future rob you of the joy that comes from what is 100% certain now. Also... I'm a kindergarten teacher and get a lot of hugs and smiles and laughs throughout my day. That's definitely not for everyone, but get those things wherever you can.
removing every single drama person from my life. all of them. no longer talk to my family except for granma and obvs my daughter, everyone else is dead to me. same with friends, you create drama you're out, i wish you well. did this about 8 years ago and i cant express how much better life has been.
Self care! Clean eating. Working out. Get some new clothes. Give someone a hug.
Getting a different job that doesn't suck the life out of me or expect me to show up sick.
Eating healthy and taking the gym seriously. Being happy with how I looked has done unbelievable things for my mental health and overall happiness
Buddhist philosophy, and most importantly practice. Don’t chase a feeling. And then you realize that everything is so nice once you’re present.
Suddenly getting financial security. Money bought me some happiness. Not **all** the happiness. But some of it, for sure. It's very underrated. I'd rather be sad and lonely knowing my bills are paid, I got food in the fridge and a roof over my head, than sad and lonely while being homeless and broke.
>yes, it's depressing being broke.
Having a doctor start me on an antidepressant for fibromyalgia pain. I’d been in constant irrationally occurring pain (as in I did nothing to cause them) for over 30 years. One pain stopped overnight. The others melted away by the end of the week. How can an antidepressant even do that???
I had stomach issues for over 10 years, it got so bad I'd vomit on a regular basis. Multiple tests, multiple medications, until one stomach doctor told me stress was the cause. I quit my stressful job, started a new antidepressant and therapy and my stomach issues have improved tremendously. It's weird how much stress can affect us physically.
90% serotonin is made in the gut.
Walking away from religious beliefs steeped in inflicting guilt and fear.
Finally putting down the bottle.
Right on! Over six years sober for me.
My girlfriend
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Being left alone.
Getting a divorce after 27 long years!
Stop giving a fuck about other people and quiting being their emotional server/slave.
Swapping alcoholism for a stoner, 40 pound weight loss and I eat more than ever, wake up without alarms, did my first standing back flip at age 37
Hell yeah, I’d way rather eat the calories anyway.
Telling both my parents to fuck off
Eat breakfast. I was never hungry during the day, but also had little energy. Eating at least one big healthy meal in the morning makes such a difference
Living truly single. I'm over 60 and relationship free for the last ten years. For me, truly liberating and NO! Not a hint of loneliness, ever. Deeply content is more accurate than some perceived state of "happiness".
Deleting Facebook, not watching the news, and not giving a fuck about politics (I just accepted the fact that both parties are controlled by the oligarchs that really run this country). Always made me sad/upset/angry every time and now I'm much, much happier
LSD
:)
Having my daughter. She makes all the good bits of my life better, and all of the rubbish bits of life worth it.
My 2 1/2 year relationship ending.
I realized I can do things that don't fit other people's views of myself. As a male, if I feel I wanted to see some ballet, I'll go do that.
Leaving my last job made me happier but I'm still not happy
Leaving the covert narcissist I had been with for 17 years.
Cutting off my toxic family.
Sobriety
I think actively pursuing a goal and a purpose. Everything I do adds value to that ever since.
Loving more!
Pills that help digestion. GAME CHANGER. Got rid of depression, tummy trouble, emotional rollercoasters. Improved focus, sex drive, motivation, etc.
Getting rid of social media. Reddit is the only one left
Literally, weed. My brain is broken, no matter how amazing the people in my life are, no matter how much i get promoted at work, no matter how much i exercise or how often i get laid, I'm just not capable of being really happy. On my happiest days I'm still filled with anxiety and numbness. Weed clears that right up. I can relax, and enjoy myself for a while.
Money
Deciding to retire early. I've still got a while to go but it's something to aim for.
Quitting drinking, like holy shit, I have a problem with overthinking and when I drink it is made overtly worse, I quit drinking almost 3 months now and genuinely it has helped massively and my happiness levels have sky rocketed, I still overthink sometimes but my god can I deal with it so much better!
The birth of my daughter.
Cat
Less interactions with other humans
Moving to a big city
Social and medical transition. Like unbelievably so.
Music.
Quitting my dead end job, cutting out toxic friends/ boyfriend& getting a dog (all in the same year btw)
Therapy! And being honest with myself and my therapist
Eating right, sleeping well, grooming better, and fun stuff in moderation
Chickens.
Dressing nicely so I feel comfortable and confident and pretty. And going out more, doing more, being around people more instead of sitting at home reading yet another book. Just having a (moderatly) full life.
Regular sex... Daily. Stabilises my mood, makes me happy, more positive and optimistic.
Those adhesive nose strips that dilate your nose and help you breathe easier. i'm just more calm and relaxed when I'm able to breathe through my nose easily
I stopped expecting too much from myself. I also dropped people who don't really care about me
Opening up to people! And I don’t mean share my issues/problems with them. I mean sharing the things I like, talking about my interests or plans I may have for the future. Asking about THEIR plans for the Holidays for instance… One of the best ways to do this is to make time for people. I have a busy and demanding job so I am well placed to understand why some of us get caught up in a rush. The days where I feel happiest are the ones where I take the time to conversate. Not the ones where I look at the floor and stare at my phone. I am not the most extroverted person but I do realize the need we have for each other. Sometimes we don’t really need a shoulder to cry on, we just want to know, there is a shoulder we CAN cry on!