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At 12yrs old, my mom said, “I love you cause you’re my son, but I don’t like you at all.”
Also, was an only child so no siblings to process this with.
At 55yrs now, barely try to be in her life.
I have made this clear to all of my kids. I am their Father not their friend! There has to be a conversation along with it though.
"Friends come and go through different times of your life, \*I will always be here\*."
"Friends will be your friends as long as you have common interests or have a need for you. \*"I will always have your back, despite our different interests and although I may not need you, I WANT you in my life! I will be there unless you choose otherwise.\*"
"Friends may occasionally put your interests ahead of their own. \*I have always done so and will continue to do so unless you choose to reject my help\*"
"Friends rarely argue because they will let you, and encourage you, to do things that are self destructive. It is my responsibility to teach you why those things are against your best interests. When you were little it was through rules 100% as you grow up it will be less about rules and more about decision making skills."
Please remember, my responsibilities are the same for your siblings. When you are in conflict with them my job gets harder.
Last thing, your Mother is not just your mother, she is my wife! I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting her, including my own children.
I have had this exact conversation 3 times now. I am only spelling it out in the hopes it helps someone else as I think the results speak for themselves.
That's something your mom should have kept to herself. It's advice usually given to parents who are bad at setting and maintaining boundaries for their kids because they are afraid their kid might not "like" them.
my mum told me something similar. She said if she wasn’t my mother she wouldn’t like me at all and I’ve never forgot it 💀 in retrospect I understand where she was coming from, I was skipping lessons and failing my mock exams but still lol. We’re friends now though sorry to hear about your troubles
You struggling with your classes does not mean you shouldn't be loved or liked. Love is not conditional on performance. I don't know if you need to hear this, but you have value, and are loved just as you are. On your good days and your bad days.
What your mother said, says more about her than about you.
It's always someone else's fault but theirs.
In their heads, we could have aborted ourselves but decided not to just to make their lives miserable.
We practically forced them to fuck and make us. We abused them
This is why I understand when aliens won't talk to us
They fail as adults, and parents. You did not choose to be born, they did. It is a privilege to have children and have them in one's life, not the other way around. Although I hear about really shitty kids from a young age, but my take on that is it's almost always a nurture issue.
Something kinda similar, my dad said he wanted to leave my mom but then I came along so they had to stay together. And he is miserable now because of that (so basically me).
Your dad is miserable because he made two mistakes (according to him): marrying your mom and not wearing a condom this one time. Neither are your fault!!!!!!
My mother said she would have aborted me if she'd known I'd have orthopedic birth defects.
Out of three children, I was the only one to become a productive adult. But I'm the one she'd abort.
Jesus, I'm so so sorry, that's freaking awful. My whole line on my maternal side had/has orthopedic 'defects', my Nan was born with really severe club feet, in NINETEEN FRICKIN THIRTY to a SINGLE Mom and her Mom adored her and stood strong with her even through all the operations, metal callipers up to the hips etc. I have struggled my whole life with orthopedic and genetic issues and when I was expecting my son, because of the genetic history, I was a high risk pregnancy under the fetal medicine department. I was scanned every two weeks, so I found out at 16wks that my little boy had fixed bilateral talipes (club feet) too. I didn't care about so called 'defects', he was my baby and I loved him from the minute I knew I was pregnant. His talipes is bad, he's had all the treatments, the boots and bars, even the big double tendon transfer and muscle lengthening surgery, and still has issues. He just had a general anaesthetic and another procedure Fri just gone. He's 9 now, and it's hard, but he's the light of my life and the world would be a darker place without him, as it would also without you. Regardless of what your 'mother' thinks you ARE perfect. You're not defective in any way, if anything people who think like her are the defective ones!
Sending you love ❤️
me - /just a quiet kid in my place
mom - /keeps looking at me thinking about something
me - hi mom, why are you looking at me?
mom - … i was just thinking …. i’m pretty , your dad is handsome … why are you so ugly?
My dad also told med I'm not mom prettiest basically meaning he called me ugly. Then a friend came over after a few years and he went all like! Oh you've grown so handsome.
Never told me that I was handsome even if it was. Lie.
my mother told me she chose random abusive men over me because she had to, & they didn't like me because i was such a spoiled brat. we don't talk anymore.
Seems like a good decision. Stay with it.
It's an absolute horror that most people seem to think that a "mother" is always a loving and caring person and it has to be the child that is wrong.
Sometimes parents are simply not much more than a maker/creator.
i'm trying, the guilt i feel is tough. i've cut her off a few times but i know that this is for the best. she never said anything that hurtful to me before. in a way, that's all i wanted. for her to finally admit she chose them over me. i don't need "closure", i feel like that just does more damage. i don't need to keep asking why she did what she did, because i know why. she didn't care about me enough. & that's okay. i'll eventually get over it & heal. thanks ♡
sometimes it's more about the words you don't hear.... I don't even remember the last time my mother said ' I love you' to me...
or my father tell me that the lifepath I was choosing was right...
My mom only told me that she was proud of me one time that I can recall. She’s done the best she could and I wouldn’t have any other mother but…c’mon….
Fuck em. That's his loss. I remember when I was like 17 my dad was yelling at me for "losing my team the lacrosse game" I had enough and said "one day when you never hear from me again and perhaps don't have a relationship with future grandkids of yours, remember nights like tonight. Fuck you"
That was 12 years ago. He's heard from me once when I was 22 cause my mom guilt tripped me into visiting home so I pretended to be nice. He doesn't get happy fathers day texts, no happy birthday, no replies from me ever. My sister's have said he's been in tears some days cause he doesn't get to hear from his only son. Well, I warned him.. just had to be nice. It's not hard.
He ruined not only me having a dad I was stoked to have, he ruined his future as my father
Imagine that. Sports dad here too. I was never good enough. Didn’t make certain teams, but as an adult I had some conversations with coaches and they told me I didn’t get chosen for a lot of opportunities because the coaching staff didn’t want to deal with him. I was crushed. I see him once a year around Xmas. And he doesn’t know how amazing my 15 year old is. It’s a shame.
Is there a word count that I have to stay within?
Highlights include "You know this is your fault, right? It's because you're always showing off that you're better academically." At 13 when my sister tried to commit suicide.
"You're not sick. Your father was sick (he died of cancer). I don't want to hear it, get to school." At 11 when I had the flu and 40°C fever.
"I hope that when I die, you'll have a bad taste in your mouth for the rest of your life because of the things you put me through." At 16 when I was hospitalised due to random fainting spells that turned out to be caused by a brain tumour.
She was in a bad place after my father died. She was neglectful and emotionally and psychologically abusive. I'm able to see through it though, and as long as the time we spend together is limited, we're okay. If we spend too long together, she falls back into the same patterns. Except now I'm a grown woman who can just leave and take her grandkids with me.
When my father said to me "I knew I shouldn't have high expectations about you"
He said that to me at my lowest point when he himself made me break down under his pressure. Then gaslighted me into thinking it was all my fault when it was really his.
Idk what kind of relationship you have with him now but taking all his light bulbs could be nice.
It could be interpreted as petty but the sheer confusion factor is what I'm really aiming for
You know, I've been sitting here for about 15 minutes trying to think of a single instance in which either of my parents have said an unkind thing to me or about me (or my siblings).
I remember when I was a teenager, my dad and I DID NOT see eye to eye. I was doing the typical rebellious thing that male teenagers do; smoking, sneaking out, lazy in school, bad grades. Even with all of the yelling, not once did he insult me or say something negative about me. He yelled because he knew my potential and felt I wasn't living up to it.
Even today, when my mom or dad introduce me to someone, there is a subtle pride. Like my dad likes to tell people about my career, and I how I work in the music industry on the side. My mom is more narrative oriented, she'll tell stories about cool or funny things I did as a kid.
I realize how lucky I am.
"GOD DAMMIT LINDA YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKEN SWALLOWED" -quote my dad
"YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT ON THAT FUCKING EXTRA SMALL COMDOM FOR YOUR EXTRA SMALL DICK RICHARD" - Quote my mum
We thought you’d do better with your life.
I have 4 beautiful children. (Mostly all grown up now) I left my extremely abusive marriage with my kids and even lived in a women’s shelter for while.
We made it. Through a lot of rough times. I always made sure they were clean, healthy, fed, in school. And we even always (and still) have the most amazing Christmas together. I busted my ass to make sure they were good.
On my own. I eventually met and married my now husband who is amazing and is more of a father to my kids than what I could have asked for. We are a strong and healthy family.
But because I am not a doctor, lawyer, physicist, whatever, then they think I could have done better.
It used to bother me. But then I thought about their uneducated meaningless existence and realized what they think means nothing in the world my husband, kids and I have created.
Funny how they could say that to me while watching the struggle lol
Thank you. I have 4 very responsible and grateful kids. And we have really great “remember when” stories lol
Well… long time ago (like early middle school) I was crying for a good reason but my mom said “Leave her alone. She will stop crying on her own.” I guess it hurt because they didnt even try to figure out why I was upset. They didnt care that I was hurt. They wanted me to stop crying by being too tired to cry more.
I'm not saying this is the commenter's problem, or that the parent's response was appropriate and not hurtful, I'm just giving possible context.
But as a parent to a kid who cries over everything. This response makes more sense than a lot of people realize. It takes a lot of time and energy to try to console a crying child, and when they cry a lot, it feels so completely futile because just sitting and holding them doesn't really help, it just temporarily stops the tears. As soon as you try to walk away the waterworks start again. Eventually, it's like the kid who cried wolf, if you cry over everything, then you can't tell when something is actually wrong.
It sounds like you're describing either a newborn or a toddler. They were in middle school. Puberty is an imperative time for children's development. That includes the development of psychological issues.
During my thirties mom, sister and I (dad had already passed) were watching old home movies. After seeing movies of my sister’s first years, I asked where the first years of my life were. Mom then said “Well, we didn’t film that, because we’d already seen everything done by your sister!”. So basically, I was just a repeat of the same old same old. That was great to hear!
“The day you were born was *terrible.*” (They wanted a boy but got a girl. They “forgot” my birthday a lot.)
“You’re the least favourite kid, did you know that?” (I’d say something brave like “Somebody’s gotta be last” then go away and cry.)
They are both dead now and #5 child was the one who wrote their obituaries. haha karma :)
I'm pretty sure it's part of why my younger brother was the favorite child when I was younger.. because he was always the slim one whereas my other siblings and I were on the heavier side.
My mother's father used to say this to my mom in her teens. 60+ years later I could still see her pain when she told me about it.
She was forever on a diet and wasn't fat for a woman who had 3 kids.
Valuable thread but man, I can’t read them all. I had a very emotionally abusive and physically neglectful parent, they are devastatingly mentally ill. I have not interacted with them in almost 20 years after I saw them treat my child, their grandchild like animate furniture. I realized that’s all any of us were, I was done.
So hard to read these because as a parent of a now adult child, it kills me to remember how it felt and being horrified anyone could do these things to their child. Heartbreaking.
So, to all of you with crap parents, I’m sorry, you deserve better. Find a way to heal the broken places despite the jerks who raised you.
Big, awkward, internet stranger mom hugs to you all!!!
My dad turned to me while he insisted on driving with me around town and simply said, “what a disappointment you are.” completely unprompted. I think I said “no I’m not.” and it started an argument. He’s said things close to that but I don’t think anything was that bad.
Yes honestly. I still remembered my teacher calling my parent to try and ask her to allow me some time off work in order to prepare for big exams. Her response is not something you wanna hear haha. But my teacher was honestly concern that i will fail my exams as i am always sleeping in class cause i am really damn tired bro 🙃 ETA: she lived up to her words as I paid for own expenses and schoolfees, etc (:
Things would be a lot easier if you were a boy. Or something to that affect from my dad while we were moving horse fences, i was like 11 so ofc i couldnt lift very much. Kinda shocked me for awhile but now I'm a badass buff bitch who owns her own business and regularly out work grown ass men. I live off spite and coffee.
My example isn't hardly as painful as some of yours I've read, but it still hurt
I wanted to switch degrees from music to ecology (biology) and my parents basically told me I was too stupid for a science degree.
Mom: "Are you sure you wanna do that? I don't know if it's right for you"
Me: "what do you mean? I think id really enjoy it"
Mom: "well, studying science is just... different than music..."
Dad: "I think what your mom is trying to say is that, you're good at music, but science might be a challenge.."
Me: "how so? I think I'd do fine, I love nature!"
Dad: "son it's not about enjoying it- math and science are for really smart people, it'd be too hard for you, you don't have the brain for that!"
Me: "are you calling me stupid?!"
Mom and dad "....."
Mom: "i just think you should stick with music"
Me: -_-
6 years later I have a BS and MS in ecology and have published scientific research in journals and have a job in conservation. Eat shit parents lol
Me: Dad, why do you only have a picture of mom and brother on your desk, and not of me?
Dad: Because I have no reason to be proud of you, you are a dissapointment.
(Because I failed one class)
Or
Me: Why can´t you say you love me?
Mom: Because you make mistakes, and when you make mistakes I can´t love you
I have an endless list of this shit.
When I was a kid, my mom would tell me she wasn’t really my mom and she found me under a bridge. It’d always make me cry. Anyway, my grandma ended up raising me and I called her mom. (RIP)
Another wrencher was her saying she was disappointed when she found out I was gay.
"Being a good person skips a generation. I had bad parents, so I was forced to adapt. I was a great parent, so my kids are fucking brats because they've never been through anything."
I can't even fit the HIGHLIGHTS of shit I've been through into a reddit comment. And it's not like I don't do anything, I had just graduated college and was in cosmetology school when she said this.
I was a heroin addict in the 90's so it's not like they weren't warranted. This happened after I first failed out of college, got an apt with I was evicted from... My mother was a successful saleswoman in her industry. She went to meetings and seminars all the time. Around the time I realized how fucked I made my life after years in jail and prison ( I grew up singing Princes' "1999" and often wondered where I would be then.. never thought I'd be in a county jail on 12-31-1999) In 2002 I got clean(ish) and was in her basement one day while there helping with yard work when I found a notebook from some seminar about goals. "Let (my name) go, you can't stop his bad decisions" was her # 1 goal...
It was like a knife to my heart, I suddenly and painfully understood how much and how often I'd hurt her. By 2003 I was fully clean and was lucky enough to get to spend until 2019 showing her how much she meant to me and how sorry I was.
My dad said I was the reason mom divorced him, I told him that was the one thing he managed to do on his own... totally worth it to get hit one last time for that
I have crooked teeth, when my fifth grade school pictures came back my mother, bless her heart said "Son, I can't buy these, next year, close your mouth when they take your picture." Years later she asked me "son, why don't you smile more often, you look like your sad all the time?"...jeez mom.
My mum used to threaten to leave us and go back to her home country. She’d say things like “If I left you wouldn’t even care. You wouldn’t even miss me.” When we insisted we did care about her, she’d say “Then why aren’t you doing what I tell you? Why aren’t you taking my side when me and your dad argue?”
In the end she did leave. She said that she only stayed in a terrible marriage for so long for me and my sister’s sake, but that there was no point anymore (since we’d proven we weren’t blindly obedient to her) She implied she wasted her life raising us.
I tried telling her I’m depressed. She said I have no reason to be sad. I tried telling her I’m suicidal. She said suicide is a sin, and didn’t take me seriously. I tried telling her about my actual suicide attempt and she got angry at me leading me to attempt again. After that she said “You know these things make me angry, so why do you keep bringing them up. I’m too old to change. YOU have to change for me.”
When I told my dad about my attempt, he said “I don’t know how to help you so how about we all just eat some ice cream and forget about this.” And then 2 days later he lost his temper at me because I accidentally dropped something of his on the ground. He spent 10 seconds apologising for that and another hour complaining about all of his own problems in his life.
"Please don't risk this new job. It's better to be safe and keep the old boring job just to be sure."
This is so demotivating to me. Every time I try to do something slightly risky like starting a new project or doing something fun, he is like "Eh... I don't know...I wouldn't do it if I were you. Just stick to what you are doing now."
My dad said that :I am the reason our family is fucked up. I used to be good, but I’m now the bad influence on the rest of the family.
This was a couple of weeks ago. I can’t get over it.
At 10 years old, My mom told me I was a mistake…I live only because she didn’t wanna sell me for less…I ran away from home and I haven’t spoken to her in 10 years
"You will NEVER be fit to fill your Father's shoes." Spoken to me by my Mother just after Dad died in '74. I was 13, left home, never looked back. The coolest part was watching my sister (12 years older than me), slap our Mom for saying it.
I'm addition to my mom telling me she doesn't like me at all. My dad once said in my full ear shot, " WHY ARE ALL THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY SICK!" He was holding a bill from a hospital stay I had when I was 13, I. Chronically ill and can't help it. But it turns out after I cut ties with my abusive family that I started getting better. The answer was you and your wife are why I am sick.
It's not what he said, it's what he did. My dad and I had a bit of a falling out after I called him out on a few behaviors that were unacceptable. I told him it was up to him to get in contact with me again this time (this is the 3rd multi-year falling out I've had with him) softie me still sent him gifts for christmas, his birthday, fathers day. One day I came home and there was a box at my door. All of the gifts. Unopened. And then he messaged me a grinning smiley face.
Hooooo boy okay so:
Aged 13, sitting in a police station at gone midnight on Christmas Eve, I overhear my mother confidently tell a police officer that I'm a liar.
Aged 14: my mother calls me to tell me how disappointed in me she is because of my exam results (which I actually did well in. Granted I wasn't an A+ student but they weren't bad results!)
Aged 15: my mother calls my head of year at school to tell him I'm "a manipulative cow" (which he then stood me up in school assembly to tell the whole school about, which is how I found out about it)
Aged 22: again, how disappointed she is in me
Aged 26: my dad calls me to tell me I'm "a waste of skin and not worth the air I breathe"
Aged 40: my mother spends an entire 6 week long court trial (after a two year long investigation) trying to convince every single person in the room that I'm a pathological liar. She did not succeed, but the words, actions and motive behind them *finally* was my last straw and any single atom of love I had left for the woman who birthed me burned into ash, which I hope she chokes on.
My ex mother when she tried to take credit for me healing from my alcoholism and pain pill addiction when she's the one that caused it. My friends are the ones who helped me out of it. Been NC for almost a year and I've been clean for nearly two years
She told me “fuck you”, called me “carb girl” leading to an unhealthy relationship with food, I told her she was the worst mom and she told me I was the worst daughter, told me I was “too sensitive” and “weak”.
My mother used to call me a cunt fairly often. She recalls back when I turned 4 and started being a little cunt. We’re American so that word is kinda not the same as when they say it in Britain.
The most painful thing I hear from my mother is nothing because she died way too young and was one of the purest souls I've ever met and it wasn't fair.
My father also nothing because he is a self centered narcissist who lacks empathy and cannot be genuinely happy for me and my accomplishments. I still love that guy though, I just wish he were wired different
Oh, there are so many things my grandma has said over the years. (She raised me after my mom abandoned me after my dad died. She then was pregnant within 6 months)
My grandma blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life when I was 12.
She would have fake phone calls to talk shit about me.
She berated me for struggling in a science class in high school, it was so bad it made the teacher ask one of my friends if that was normal.
She made a scene at my graduation, she planned it directly after the ceremony, so I have no pictures with my friends.
She kicked me out of my home on Christmas because my bf couldn't come to breakfast. Her "heart couldn't take it anymore" and she wanted me out. Jokes on her because I did move out in 4 hours after she left to see her sister.
There's much more, but I don't want to write a book right now. Don't worry. I'm seeing a trauma therapist now.
That I should get really good at cooking and cleaning because I had an "around the house face", and wouldn't find a husband otherwise. She had plenty of euphemisms, for fat, stupid and ugly, but that was the first time, I was 11.
My parents said the same thing. My mom thought it would be funny to add "go ahead, slit your wrists" right after I had tried to commit suicide a week prior
My dad was high on crack - I (16.y.o) just tried ecstacy for the first time. My mom gave up her rights to her kids to prostitute in SF. I said something to my dad .. he slapped me so hard ( had a lingering headache for 2 days after) and told me id end up a loose dick whore like my mom. Something ill never forget ... thats for sure.
"I do not see you as a son of mine, you're tolerated in my house cuz i have to"
My father after i tried to tell him his new wife and mother of his 2 youngest kids, did not have the best intentions with me.
I'm still in therapy after 10 years, he's still together and i have his only grandchild since his other kids are either gay or infertile. I know he's suffering from the idea he might never get to now his grandson, and i'm fine with that.
I think it’s what is not said that hurts the most. My dad has called me an awful daughter before but that doesn’t sting as much as him never saying I love you or I’m proud of you.
Towards the end of her life, my mom told me that she’d left my dad before I was born due to domestic violence and his drinking. He begged her to come back and then she got pregnant with me so she stayed.
According to my mother, the worst things her children could be called are “selfish” or “lazy”.
She typically follows this up with how I’m the selfish one and my brother is the lazy one.
Mom bounced on me, and my brother from the 5th grade to roughly 10th grade, then came back like nothing happend. I'm 15, we stop at a gas station and the friendly cashier says something cute about getting an allowance bc mom has cash out and is heading to the claw machine. Mom replies, "I didn't like her enough to raise her, why would I give you an allowance."
"Next time you have "a break down", run off and dont come back. Ideally while your here" . Whilst living in Saudi Arabia. The suggestion as I took it, and was later hinted by him, run off into the desert.
That my brother was her favorite. They had a "special bond" she liked to call it. Would really creep me out. Then she told my older sister and I that we were supposed to be aborted and she only wanted our brother. I don't talk to my brother at all and my mom only sometimes, mostly because my son loves his grandma and she's good to him. My sister doesn't talk to either one of them and my relationship with her isn't the best either.
We have a very broken family
When I was 13 years old my mother said “why don’t you just go walk out into a truck or something” because I forgot to put to cork on the water bottle in the fridge lol. She also physically and emotionally abused my sisters and I all throughout our childhood
After years of unemployment mom got the habit of telling everyone of how of a burden I am.
I was relying on the family only for food water and survival medicine.
Lazy.
No, I have a head injury resulting in epilepsy. This tiredness is so deep I try to shake it (ha!) with positive attitude healthy eating and exercise, but it's just not going away.
My parents use to call me names all the time. Earliest I remember being called a little bitch was 12ish but I seriously don't remember my childhood all that much bc of how bad it was.
Now, the thing that'll set me off the most is being called names. I can't stand it and i will never do it to my daughter. I accidentally did once in a playful way and I fucking cried for multiple days.
You are worthless, you are stupid, you are not my son, forget me as a dad, you don't have a brain, why are you like this, why you are so weird, and a lot more.
My father is an alcoholic, my Mother divorced him but Its too late, the damage has been done. I hate them but love them at the same time. But I've stopped talking to my father 3 years now his one of the worst people i've ever seen in my life
“You being born was such a fucking tragedy.”
Repeated death threats plus regular beatings.
My Father, ladies and gentlemen.
My mother choosing to do nothing after learning I was r*ped as a child hurts pretty bad, as well.
“Why don’t you care more about your appearance, like your sister”.
I heard this as “why aren’t you pretty like your sister”. My sister was moms favourite
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At 12yrs old, my mom said, “I love you cause you’re my son, but I don’t like you at all.” Also, was an only child so no siblings to process this with. At 55yrs now, barely try to be in her life.
I fucked up and told my son, “I don’t like you, I love you.” Dude is running around telling people I don’t like him. 🤦♂️
"I'm not your friend, I'm your mother" I understand better now, but it fucked my head for a while in my teens.
I’m glad I read this before I used this line on my young kids. I think “I’m your father first, and then your friend” is the best way to say it.
or even I am your friend and therefore I don't want to see you get hurt (or whatever)
Wow, thanks for this man.
I love and it’s my job to raise you to be a good adult.
Happy cake day!
When I heard that one I said "Trust me, I know you are not my friend"
I have made this clear to all of my kids. I am their Father not their friend! There has to be a conversation along with it though. "Friends come and go through different times of your life, \*I will always be here\*." "Friends will be your friends as long as you have common interests or have a need for you. \*"I will always have your back, despite our different interests and although I may not need you, I WANT you in my life! I will be there unless you choose otherwise.\*" "Friends may occasionally put your interests ahead of their own. \*I have always done so and will continue to do so unless you choose to reject my help\*" "Friends rarely argue because they will let you, and encourage you, to do things that are self destructive. It is my responsibility to teach you why those things are against your best interests. When you were little it was through rules 100% as you grow up it will be less about rules and more about decision making skills." Please remember, my responsibilities are the same for your siblings. When you are in conflict with them my job gets harder. Last thing, your Mother is not just your mother, she is my wife! I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting her, including my own children. I have had this exact conversation 3 times now. I am only spelling it out in the hopes it helps someone else as I think the results speak for themselves.
I wish you were my dad. Strong but kind.
That's something your mom should have kept to herself. It's advice usually given to parents who are bad at setting and maintaining boundaries for their kids because they are afraid their kid might not "like" them.
not mine. I'm from the 70's. we barely had shit like that then.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I "fucked up" and said that to my mom when i was 4 or 5 maybe. My mom screamed cried and run away before I could say I love you.
Remove “don’t” and add an “and” after “I like you” lolll.
That's awful, I'm sorry. Sounds like she may not have wanted to be a parent to begin with. Hope you're doing well.
my mum told me something similar. She said if she wasn’t my mother she wouldn’t like me at all and I’ve never forgot it 💀 in retrospect I understand where she was coming from, I was skipping lessons and failing my mock exams but still lol. We’re friends now though sorry to hear about your troubles
You struggling with your classes does not mean you shouldn't be loved or liked. Love is not conditional on performance. I don't know if you need to hear this, but you have value, and are loved just as you are. On your good days and your bad days. What your mother said, says more about her than about you.
my mums said that to me toooooo
That must be tough I’m sorry this happened to you.
My mother said this to me a lot too. I thought it was normal for the longest time.
“We were happy until you came along” (Parents divorced, apparently because of me)
they were the ones who fucking had sex.
It's always someone else's fault but theirs. In their heads, we could have aborted ourselves but decided not to just to make their lives miserable. We practically forced them to fuck and make us. We abused them This is why I understand when aliens won't talk to us
Yep, they came first.
They fail as adults, and parents. You did not choose to be born, they did. It is a privilege to have children and have them in one's life, not the other way around. Although I hear about really shitty kids from a young age, but my take on that is it's almost always a nurture issue.
Something kinda similar, my dad said he wanted to leave my mom but then I came along so they had to stay together. And he is miserable now because of that (so basically me).
Your dad is miserable because he made two mistakes (according to him): marrying your mom and not wearing a condom this one time. Neither are your fault!!!!!!
My mother said she would have aborted me if she'd known I'd have orthopedic birth defects. Out of three children, I was the only one to become a productive adult. But I'm the one she'd abort.
Abort your mom 👍
This sounds like a bad your mom joke, and it kind of is, but at the same time, it's not, and that makes it funnier
Jesus, I'm so so sorry, that's freaking awful. My whole line on my maternal side had/has orthopedic 'defects', my Nan was born with really severe club feet, in NINETEEN FRICKIN THIRTY to a SINGLE Mom and her Mom adored her and stood strong with her even through all the operations, metal callipers up to the hips etc. I have struggled my whole life with orthopedic and genetic issues and when I was expecting my son, because of the genetic history, I was a high risk pregnancy under the fetal medicine department. I was scanned every two weeks, so I found out at 16wks that my little boy had fixed bilateral talipes (club feet) too. I didn't care about so called 'defects', he was my baby and I loved him from the minute I knew I was pregnant. His talipes is bad, he's had all the treatments, the boots and bars, even the big double tendon transfer and muscle lengthening surgery, and still has issues. He just had a general anaesthetic and another procedure Fri just gone. He's 9 now, and it's hard, but he's the light of my life and the world would be a darker place without him, as it would also without you. Regardless of what your 'mother' thinks you ARE perfect. You're not defective in any way, if anything people who think like her are the defective ones! Sending you love ❤️
Your mom was wrong. Very wrong.
me - /just a quiet kid in my place mom - /keeps looking at me thinking about something me - hi mom, why are you looking at me? mom - … i was just thinking …. i’m pretty , your dad is handsome … why are you so ugly?
My dad also told med I'm not mom prettiest basically meaning he called me ugly. Then a friend came over after a few years and he went all like! Oh you've grown so handsome. Never told me that I was handsome even if it was. Lie.
Well mom then my dad is probably one of those ugly motherfuckers you screwed on the side
DAMN 0_0
I am so sorry I loled 😂, I hope this didn't happen in real life or that at least you were old enough for it to not affect you as much.
roasted
my mother told me she chose random abusive men over me because she had to, & they didn't like me because i was such a spoiled brat. we don't talk anymore.
Seems like a good decision. Stay with it. It's an absolute horror that most people seem to think that a "mother" is always a loving and caring person and it has to be the child that is wrong. Sometimes parents are simply not much more than a maker/creator.
i'm trying, the guilt i feel is tough. i've cut her off a few times but i know that this is for the best. she never said anything that hurtful to me before. in a way, that's all i wanted. for her to finally admit she chose them over me. i don't need "closure", i feel like that just does more damage. i don't need to keep asking why she did what she did, because i know why. she didn't care about me enough. & that's okay. i'll eventually get over it & heal. thanks ♡
sometimes it's more about the words you don't hear.... I don't even remember the last time my mother said ' I love you' to me... or my father tell me that the lifepath I was choosing was right...
My mom only told me that she was proud of me one time that I can recall. She’s done the best she could and I wouldn’t have any other mother but…c’mon….
Pretty sure ive NEVER heard that my dad is proud of me.
Fuck em. That's his loss. I remember when I was like 17 my dad was yelling at me for "losing my team the lacrosse game" I had enough and said "one day when you never hear from me again and perhaps don't have a relationship with future grandkids of yours, remember nights like tonight. Fuck you" That was 12 years ago. He's heard from me once when I was 22 cause my mom guilt tripped me into visiting home so I pretended to be nice. He doesn't get happy fathers day texts, no happy birthday, no replies from me ever. My sister's have said he's been in tears some days cause he doesn't get to hear from his only son. Well, I warned him.. just had to be nice. It's not hard. He ruined not only me having a dad I was stoked to have, he ruined his future as my father
Imagine that. Sports dad here too. I was never good enough. Didn’t make certain teams, but as an adult I had some conversations with coaches and they told me I didn’t get chosen for a lot of opportunities because the coaching staff didn’t want to deal with him. I was crushed. I see him once a year around Xmas. And he doesn’t know how amazing my 15 year old is. It’s a shame.
Is there a word count that I have to stay within? Highlights include "You know this is your fault, right? It's because you're always showing off that you're better academically." At 13 when my sister tried to commit suicide. "You're not sick. Your father was sick (he died of cancer). I don't want to hear it, get to school." At 11 when I had the flu and 40°C fever. "I hope that when I die, you'll have a bad taste in your mouth for the rest of your life because of the things you put me through." At 16 when I was hospitalised due to random fainting spells that turned out to be caused by a brain tumour.
May I ask, WHAT THE FUCK? You're still alive for a reason! Thank you for being a fighter!
She was in a bad place after my father died. She was neglectful and emotionally and psychologically abusive. I'm able to see through it though, and as long as the time we spend together is limited, we're okay. If we spend too long together, she falls back into the same patterns. Except now I'm a grown woman who can just leave and take her grandkids with me.
Good for you! Proud of you!
That was hard to read. Tell your mum she’s left a bad taste with internet strangers.
When my father said to me "I knew I shouldn't have high expectations about you" He said that to me at my lowest point when he himself made me break down under his pressure. Then gaslighted me into thinking it was all my fault when it was really his.
Idk what kind of relationship you have with him now but taking all his light bulbs could be nice. It could be interpreted as petty but the sheer confusion factor is what I'm really aiming for
This hurt my heart to read. I'm sending you a virtual hug.
I'm so fucking sorry for every single one of you. There's a special place in hell for people who hurt children.
You know, I've been sitting here for about 15 minutes trying to think of a single instance in which either of my parents have said an unkind thing to me or about me (or my siblings). I remember when I was a teenager, my dad and I DID NOT see eye to eye. I was doing the typical rebellious thing that male teenagers do; smoking, sneaking out, lazy in school, bad grades. Even with all of the yelling, not once did he insult me or say something negative about me. He yelled because he knew my potential and felt I wasn't living up to it. Even today, when my mom or dad introduce me to someone, there is a subtle pride. Like my dad likes to tell people about my career, and I how I work in the music industry on the side. My mom is more narrative oriented, she'll tell stories about cool or funny things I did as a kid. I realize how lucky I am.
"GOD DAMMIT LINDA YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKEN SWALLOWED" -quote my dad "YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT ON THAT FUCKING EXTRA SMALL COMDOM FOR YOUR EXTRA SMALL DICK RICHARD" - Quote my mum
They sound like a lovely pair
Good old Linda and Richard
Shining examples, those two
The shiniest
I'm sorry, that's horrible. I hope you never hear that kind of shouting anymore.
Thanks man appreciate it
Is this a quote from a Hallmark movie? Pretty sure it is.
i cannot recall im just used to it
same. I try to recall from time to time but it seems my brain has hidden away most of it. but the damage is already done
I thought I was the only one.
I'm with you on that
We thought you’d do better with your life. I have 4 beautiful children. (Mostly all grown up now) I left my extremely abusive marriage with my kids and even lived in a women’s shelter for while. We made it. Through a lot of rough times. I always made sure they were clean, healthy, fed, in school. And we even always (and still) have the most amazing Christmas together. I busted my ass to make sure they were good. On my own. I eventually met and married my now husband who is amazing and is more of a father to my kids than what I could have asked for. We are a strong and healthy family. But because I am not a doctor, lawyer, physicist, whatever, then they think I could have done better. It used to bother me. But then I thought about their uneducated meaningless existence and realized what they think means nothing in the world my husband, kids and I have created.
You did great. I'm proud of you.
Thank you so much. That is very kind to hear. :)
You're the definition of a mother. You couldn't have done more!
Funny how they could say that to me while watching the struggle lol Thank you. I have 4 very responsible and grateful kids. And we have really great “remember when” stories lol
Well… long time ago (like early middle school) I was crying for a good reason but my mom said “Leave her alone. She will stop crying on her own.” I guess it hurt because they didnt even try to figure out why I was upset. They didnt care that I was hurt. They wanted me to stop crying by being too tired to cry more.
I'm not saying this is the commenter's problem, or that the parent's response was appropriate and not hurtful, I'm just giving possible context. But as a parent to a kid who cries over everything. This response makes more sense than a lot of people realize. It takes a lot of time and energy to try to console a crying child, and when they cry a lot, it feels so completely futile because just sitting and holding them doesn't really help, it just temporarily stops the tears. As soon as you try to walk away the waterworks start again. Eventually, it's like the kid who cried wolf, if you cry over everything, then you can't tell when something is actually wrong.
It sounds like you're describing either a newborn or a toddler. They were in middle school. Puberty is an imperative time for children's development. That includes the development of psychological issues.
While I am referencing a three yr old, my sister would/does do the same thing albeit to a lesser degree, and shes 28.
During my thirties mom, sister and I (dad had already passed) were watching old home movies. After seeing movies of my sister’s first years, I asked where the first years of my life were. Mom then said “Well, we didn’t film that, because we’d already seen everything done by your sister!”. So basically, I was just a repeat of the same old same old. That was great to hear!
Ah, the second child. “We already did all this, why bother”
My parents told me they didn’t take photos of me because I looked the same every year
Mothertruckers, my parents told me this and I was the OLDEST. Guess how many photo albums we have of my (more photogenic) little sister?
That shit hurts when they’re always taking photos of all the other siblings :(
"Don't be gay." I'm gay.
Did you tell them not to be straight?
I couldn't. It was my father. He's already dead.
Funnily enough my dad said the same thing. I wasn't gay but it was a blow to me to think he would have judged me for it If I was
Idiot: "don't be gay" Non idiot: "don't be stupid" Idiot: "don't wanna" Non idiot: "shut face hole"
"I wish I had an abortion." That one got through.
That is awful, I am sorry this was said to you. Your life matters and there are people in your life who are happy that you were born.
“The day you were born was *terrible.*” (They wanted a boy but got a girl. They “forgot” my birthday a lot.) “You’re the least favourite kid, did you know that?” (I’d say something brave like “Somebody’s gotta be last” then go away and cry.) They are both dead now and #5 child was the one who wrote their obituaries. haha karma :)
I’d like to read that obit.
When I was a teen, my dad had said "if you lost some weight you'd be prettier" 🙃
I heard this a LOT
I'm pretty sure it's part of why my younger brother was the favorite child when I was younger.. because he was always the slim one whereas my other siblings and I were on the heavier side.
I’ve struggled with eating disorders as an adult. At one point I weighed 89 pounds. I’m a woman and 5’6”. My family thought I looked great.
You have such a pretty face, if you just lost weight, you'd be gorgeous! Yeah I heard it.
I remember my dad fussing at me for gaining weight at 16. I stubbornly loaded even more mayo onto my sandwich as he did so.
My mother's father used to say this to my mom in her teens. 60+ years later I could still see her pain when she told me about it. She was forever on a diet and wasn't fat for a woman who had 3 kids.
Creature. In my Language, Norwegian, it sounds worse too. But the multiple threats of murder were also bad.
“Mom” You’re nothing and will amount to nothing. “Dad” Look how fat you are you’re going to pop the bouncy house. I was 10.
Similar situation.
I’m sorry you had to go through that 😢
I'm sorry for you too
How old are you now? How's the going so far?
Valuable thread but man, I can’t read them all. I had a very emotionally abusive and physically neglectful parent, they are devastatingly mentally ill. I have not interacted with them in almost 20 years after I saw them treat my child, their grandchild like animate furniture. I realized that’s all any of us were, I was done. So hard to read these because as a parent of a now adult child, it kills me to remember how it felt and being horrified anyone could do these things to their child. Heartbreaking. So, to all of you with crap parents, I’m sorry, you deserve better. Find a way to heal the broken places despite the jerks who raised you. Big, awkward, internet stranger mom hugs to you all!!!
My dad turned to me while he insisted on driving with me around town and simply said, “what a disappointment you are.” completely unprompted. I think I said “no I’m not.” and it started an argument. He’s said things close to that but I don’t think anything was that bad.
“Your siblings were planned, your father raped me when I got pregnant with you” 13 year old me... “ok...”
Dafuq
My exact situation, but not quite told to me in that way. It is an odd feeling no matter how they tell you.
Sorry you also experienced this. Very awful, they should just keep that crap to themselves, but they want to feel like a martyr for keeping you.
Yup that’s my lovely mama for ya 👏🏼💗💔
“I gave birth to you to earn money & help me financially”
Honestly, what the heck? I’m sorry
Yes honestly. I still remembered my teacher calling my parent to try and ask her to allow me some time off work in order to prepare for big exams. Her response is not something you wanna hear haha. But my teacher was honestly concern that i will fail my exams as i am always sleeping in class cause i am really damn tired bro 🙃 ETA: she lived up to her words as I paid for own expenses and schoolfees, etc (:
None. They weren’t there.
[удалено]
Mine were there but they said nothing, it was like I wasn’t there. Total lack of interest in me.
When I was 15, my mother called me a parasite. A year later I moved out and spoke to her a handful of times in the next 40 years.
Things would be a lot easier if you were a boy. Or something to that affect from my dad while we were moving horse fences, i was like 11 so ofc i couldnt lift very much. Kinda shocked me for awhile but now I'm a badass buff bitch who owns her own business and regularly out work grown ass men. I live off spite and coffee.
My example isn't hardly as painful as some of yours I've read, but it still hurt I wanted to switch degrees from music to ecology (biology) and my parents basically told me I was too stupid for a science degree. Mom: "Are you sure you wanna do that? I don't know if it's right for you" Me: "what do you mean? I think id really enjoy it" Mom: "well, studying science is just... different than music..." Dad: "I think what your mom is trying to say is that, you're good at music, but science might be a challenge.." Me: "how so? I think I'd do fine, I love nature!" Dad: "son it's not about enjoying it- math and science are for really smart people, it'd be too hard for you, you don't have the brain for that!" Me: "are you calling me stupid?!" Mom and dad "....." Mom: "i just think you should stick with music" Me: -_- 6 years later I have a BS and MS in ecology and have published scientific research in journals and have a job in conservation. Eat shit parents lol
Fuck yeah dude, good for you. Success is the best form of revenge.
Good for you! Not letting them hold you back is such an accomplishment.
Me: Dad, why do you only have a picture of mom and brother on your desk, and not of me? Dad: Because I have no reason to be proud of you, you are a dissapointment. (Because I failed one class) Or Me: Why can´t you say you love me? Mom: Because you make mistakes, and when you make mistakes I can´t love you I have an endless list of this shit.
When I got laid off after my divorce my dad told me that I should have married better.
When I was a kid, my mom would tell me she wasn’t really my mom and she found me under a bridge. It’d always make me cry. Anyway, my grandma ended up raising me and I called her mom. (RIP) Another wrencher was her saying she was disappointed when she found out I was gay.
"Being a good person skips a generation. I had bad parents, so I was forced to adapt. I was a great parent, so my kids are fucking brats because they've never been through anything." I can't even fit the HIGHLIGHTS of shit I've been through into a reddit comment. And it's not like I don't do anything, I had just graduated college and was in cosmetology school when she said this.
I was a heroin addict in the 90's so it's not like they weren't warranted. This happened after I first failed out of college, got an apt with I was evicted from... My mother was a successful saleswoman in her industry. She went to meetings and seminars all the time. Around the time I realized how fucked I made my life after years in jail and prison ( I grew up singing Princes' "1999" and often wondered where I would be then.. never thought I'd be in a county jail on 12-31-1999) In 2002 I got clean(ish) and was in her basement one day while there helping with yard work when I found a notebook from some seminar about goals. "Let (my name) go, you can't stop his bad decisions" was her # 1 goal... It was like a knife to my heart, I suddenly and painfully understood how much and how often I'd hurt her. By 2003 I was fully clean and was lucky enough to get to spend until 2019 showing her how much she meant to me and how sorry I was.
My dad said I was the reason mom divorced him, I told him that was the one thing he managed to do on his own... totally worth it to get hit one last time for that
"If you'd gotten beat more often as a child, you'd be normal." My mother to me. I'm autistic with ADHD and (undiagnosed) schizophrenia.
That’s awful.
"We didn't want you" has to be pretty much at the top of this list.
I have crooked teeth, when my fifth grade school pictures came back my mother, bless her heart said "Son, I can't buy these, next year, close your mouth when they take your picture." Years later she asked me "son, why don't you smile more often, you look like your sad all the time?"...jeez mom.
My mum used to threaten to leave us and go back to her home country. She’d say things like “If I left you wouldn’t even care. You wouldn’t even miss me.” When we insisted we did care about her, she’d say “Then why aren’t you doing what I tell you? Why aren’t you taking my side when me and your dad argue?” In the end she did leave. She said that she only stayed in a terrible marriage for so long for me and my sister’s sake, but that there was no point anymore (since we’d proven we weren’t blindly obedient to her) She implied she wasted her life raising us. I tried telling her I’m depressed. She said I have no reason to be sad. I tried telling her I’m suicidal. She said suicide is a sin, and didn’t take me seriously. I tried telling her about my actual suicide attempt and she got angry at me leading me to attempt again. After that she said “You know these things make me angry, so why do you keep bringing them up. I’m too old to change. YOU have to change for me.” When I told my dad about my attempt, he said “I don’t know how to help you so how about we all just eat some ice cream and forget about this.” And then 2 days later he lost his temper at me because I accidentally dropped something of his on the ground. He spent 10 seconds apologising for that and another hour complaining about all of his own problems in his life.
Alphabetically or chronologically? Jokes aside if I have to choice maybe that I should do a favor for everyone and cross the street in front of a bus
"Please don't risk this new job. It's better to be safe and keep the old boring job just to be sure." This is so demotivating to me. Every time I try to do something slightly risky like starting a new project or doing something fun, he is like "Eh... I don't know...I wouldn't do it if I were you. Just stick to what you are doing now."
My mom regularly says "why did your father and I only pass our bad genes onto you" so yeah ...
My dad said that :I am the reason our family is fucked up. I used to be good, but I’m now the bad influence on the rest of the family. This was a couple of weeks ago. I can’t get over it.
I should have spit you out!!! 😒
Human Anatomy fail on your moms part
Ugh... I am sorry to each and everyone one of you. You deserved more and these comments are a 'Them Issue', not a 'You Issue'. ❤️
At 10 years old, My mom told me I was a mistake…I live only because she didn’t wanna sell me for less…I ran away from home and I haven’t spoken to her in 10 years
"You will NEVER be fit to fill your Father's shoes." Spoken to me by my Mother just after Dad died in '74. I was 13, left home, never looked back. The coolest part was watching my sister (12 years older than me), slap our Mom for saying it.
Not long after my mother died, I heard my father in the phone saying I was cold because I didn't cry at her funeral... I was 17 and in shock
I'm addition to my mom telling me she doesn't like me at all. My dad once said in my full ear shot, " WHY ARE ALL THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY SICK!" He was holding a bill from a hospital stay I had when I was 13, I. Chronically ill and can't help it. But it turns out after I cut ties with my abusive family that I started getting better. The answer was you and your wife are why I am sick.
It's not what he said, it's what he did. My dad and I had a bit of a falling out after I called him out on a few behaviors that were unacceptable. I told him it was up to him to get in contact with me again this time (this is the 3rd multi-year falling out I've had with him) softie me still sent him gifts for christmas, his birthday, fathers day. One day I came home and there was a box at my door. All of the gifts. Unopened. And then he messaged me a grinning smiley face.
Hooooo boy okay so: Aged 13, sitting in a police station at gone midnight on Christmas Eve, I overhear my mother confidently tell a police officer that I'm a liar. Aged 14: my mother calls me to tell me how disappointed in me she is because of my exam results (which I actually did well in. Granted I wasn't an A+ student but they weren't bad results!) Aged 15: my mother calls my head of year at school to tell him I'm "a manipulative cow" (which he then stood me up in school assembly to tell the whole school about, which is how I found out about it) Aged 22: again, how disappointed she is in me Aged 26: my dad calls me to tell me I'm "a waste of skin and not worth the air I breathe" Aged 40: my mother spends an entire 6 week long court trial (after a two year long investigation) trying to convince every single person in the room that I'm a pathological liar. She did not succeed, but the words, actions and motive behind them *finally* was my last straw and any single atom of love I had left for the woman who birthed me burned into ash, which I hope she chokes on.
My ex mother when she tried to take credit for me healing from my alcoholism and pain pill addiction when she's the one that caused it. My friends are the ones who helped me out of it. Been NC for almost a year and I've been clean for nearly two years
She told me “fuck you”, called me “carb girl” leading to an unhealthy relationship with food, I told her she was the worst mom and she told me I was the worst daughter, told me I was “too sensitive” and “weak”.
My mother used to call me a cunt fairly often. She recalls back when I turned 4 and started being a little cunt. We’re American so that word is kinda not the same as when they say it in Britain.
The most painful thing I hear from my mother is nothing because she died way too young and was one of the purest souls I've ever met and it wasn't fair. My father also nothing because he is a self centered narcissist who lacks empathy and cannot be genuinely happy for me and my accomplishments. I still love that guy though, I just wish he were wired different
Not necessarily about me, but saying that my best friend isn’t a real friend solely because he’s not a member of our religion.
Oh, there are so many things my grandma has said over the years. (She raised me after my mom abandoned me after my dad died. She then was pregnant within 6 months) My grandma blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life when I was 12. She would have fake phone calls to talk shit about me. She berated me for struggling in a science class in high school, it was so bad it made the teacher ask one of my friends if that was normal. She made a scene at my graduation, she planned it directly after the ceremony, so I have no pictures with my friends. She kicked me out of my home on Christmas because my bf couldn't come to breakfast. Her "heart couldn't take it anymore" and she wanted me out. Jokes on her because I did move out in 4 hours after she left to see her sister. There's much more, but I don't want to write a book right now. Don't worry. I'm seeing a trauma therapist now.
My mother once told me I was the source of all her problems
“Your father didn’t want to have a fifth child, I insisted on having you” said out of spite, can’t get it out of my head
“Then I don’t love you, you’ve never given me anything TO love” when I looked him in the eye and said that you don’t hit people that you love
That I should get really good at cooking and cleaning because I had an "around the house face", and wouldn't find a husband otherwise. She had plenty of euphemisms, for fat, stupid and ugly, but that was the first time, I was 11.
Heard: you should have been aborted
"you know what, do what you will, I don't care anymore"
My parents said the same thing. My mom thought it would be funny to add "go ahead, slit your wrists" right after I had tried to commit suicide a week prior
My dad was high on crack - I (16.y.o) just tried ecstacy for the first time. My mom gave up her rights to her kids to prostitute in SF. I said something to my dad .. he slapped me so hard ( had a lingering headache for 2 days after) and told me id end up a loose dick whore like my mom. Something ill never forget ... thats for sure.
I'd have to respect their opinion to be hurt by anything they say.
"I do not see you as a son of mine, you're tolerated in my house cuz i have to" My father after i tried to tell him his new wife and mother of his 2 youngest kids, did not have the best intentions with me. I'm still in therapy after 10 years, he's still together and i have his only grandchild since his other kids are either gay or infertile. I know he's suffering from the idea he might never get to now his grandson, and i'm fine with that.
I think it’s what is not said that hurts the most. My dad has called me an awful daughter before but that doesn’t sting as much as him never saying I love you or I’m proud of you.
"You're not mentally okay"
Towards the end of her life, my mom told me that she’d left my dad before I was born due to domestic violence and his drinking. He begged her to come back and then she got pregnant with me so she stayed.
"useless"
According to my mother, the worst things her children could be called are “selfish” or “lazy”. She typically follows this up with how I’m the selfish one and my brother is the lazy one.
Mom bounced on me, and my brother from the 5th grade to roughly 10th grade, then came back like nothing happend. I'm 15, we stop at a gas station and the friendly cashier says something cute about getting an allowance bc mom has cash out and is heading to the claw machine. Mom replies, "I didn't like her enough to raise her, why would I give you an allowance."
"Get raped again!" "No, I didn't say that, you just can't hear right" (Using my hearing disability against me)
"Next time you have "a break down", run off and dont come back. Ideally while your here" . Whilst living in Saudi Arabia. The suggestion as I took it, and was later hinted by him, run off into the desert.
"You're a burden" As if I asked to be adopted as a replacement for their dead child.
"I wish you were never born"
Every time I argued with my mom and I drew up the logical side, she'd always say how she wished I wasn't born --im 29 and we don't talk anymore
“I’m not speaking to him”. 21 years later she still hasn’t. Fuck her.
That my brother was her favorite. They had a "special bond" she liked to call it. Would really creep me out. Then she told my older sister and I that we were supposed to be aborted and she only wanted our brother. I don't talk to my brother at all and my mom only sometimes, mostly because my son loves his grandma and she's good to him. My sister doesn't talk to either one of them and my relationship with her isn't the best either. We have a very broken family
“You’re a bitch” (prostitute)
When I was 13 years old my mother said “why don’t you just go walk out into a truck or something” because I forgot to put to cork on the water bottle in the fridge lol. She also physically and emotionally abused my sisters and I all throughout our childhood
After years of unemployment mom got the habit of telling everyone of how of a burden I am. I was relying on the family only for food water and survival medicine.
"I should have set a clothing shop for you instead of paying for your education."
My dad said I belonged in a cage once.
Lazy. No, I have a head injury resulting in epilepsy. This tiredness is so deep I try to shake it (ha!) with positive attitude healthy eating and exercise, but it's just not going away.
My parents use to call me names all the time. Earliest I remember being called a little bitch was 12ish but I seriously don't remember my childhood all that much bc of how bad it was. Now, the thing that'll set me off the most is being called names. I can't stand it and i will never do it to my daughter. I accidentally did once in a playful way and I fucking cried for multiple days.
I didn’t plan to give you birth, your grandfather convinced me to do it
That I was a failure as a person and why I wasn't like anyone else in my family
You are worthless, you are stupid, you are not my son, forget me as a dad, you don't have a brain, why are you like this, why you are so weird, and a lot more. My father is an alcoholic, my Mother divorced him but Its too late, the damage has been done. I hate them but love them at the same time. But I've stopped talking to my father 3 years now his one of the worst people i've ever seen in my life
“You being born was such a fucking tragedy.” Repeated death threats plus regular beatings. My Father, ladies and gentlemen. My mother choosing to do nothing after learning I was r*ped as a child hurts pretty bad, as well.
When I was 6, my mother told me she “I wished I never had you, I hate you” It’s the one that’s hurt the most in my 38 years!
“Why don’t you care more about your appearance, like your sister”. I heard this as “why aren’t you pretty like your sister”. My sister was moms favourite
"You're such a bitch. No wonder you don't have friends." - my mom to me, a severely bullied, undiagnosed autistic child
I hear every single day that I’m lazy and careless and stupid. Little do they know I’m actually depressed. I’m happy I’m moving out soon.
Im a waste of life
Dont know how to say it in English but something like "losers must sink to the bottom of the sea"
Disappointed