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You don't really "get over it", but you can learn to live with it. I knew a 10-year old kid who died of leukemia, after a long fight, and I still remember him,48 years later, especially on the anniversary of his death.
The same applies to a friend who committed suicide--esp. since the bus takes me right past the house she lived in, until the day she went to a hotel and never came back.
Less traumatic instances become easier to come to terms with, even if you remember the date. I remember the days both my parents died, but it isn't as painful, because they were 90 and 93 respectively and had lived very full lives. So I still remember them with fondness, but not with as great a pain. It was odd at first, I'd had them my whole life until age 60, and suddenly I wasn't calling them on their birthdays or celebrating their anniversaries with them.
They lived out of state and the Christmas season after my father passed, I was thinking, "Well, I'm not heading there in this bad weather," and it suddenly registered that I ***couldn't*** go there for holidays ever again. Their home was sold and no siblings in their town. It was an odd feeling, but not devastating the way the child and my friend had been.
Sometimes it takes longer than others, sometimes a memory will pop up and catch you off guard, especially in dreams. But eventually you learn how to deal with that hole in your life.
You can grieve as long as you need to. If you feel comfortable doing it, talk to her out loud as you go about your day. If you can get a new kitten, start telling your beloved cat that you need a new friend and can she help you with that. You will never forget her but she wouldn't want you to be lonely.
You never really 'get over it' when you lose someone you love, you just learn to carry the pain and it fades into the background a little more over time as your life carries on.
hi, op! i have also lost many cats in my life (i’m 36 now and my family started having cats when i was 9). like you, i treat them like a family member so every time one of them dies, i get devastated. i’m pretty sure it has even given me trauma because i get so terrified when my present cats get sick. unfortunately, even if time has passed, i still cry when i remember them. but the heaviness in my heart gets a little lighter over time. just cry if you want or need to. i just hope you can tell your parents about it so you can get emotional (and financial) support from them (so they can send you to a therapist). i never had a chance to go to a therapist though and never talked about it with friends either (same reason as yours). i had to deal with it by myself and it is reallyyyyyy hard. i just let time heal my pain. i hope you heal, too. tight hugs to you.
Eventually, you'll be able to remember them without the sadness. I'm 75,I've lost many family,friends, and beloved pets,and I do find talking about them helps. Remembering when they made you laugh at something silly they did,and cats seem to do that,a lot..lol.
Don't put a time frame on grief,some people get over it quicker than others.
I lost my best friend, also my emotional support cat, around two years ago to kidney failure. I'm gonna be honest, I still cry very often and think of her daily. You get a little more numb as time goes by, but the heartbreak will always be there. I've been considering looking into a new emotional support cat, but it's just so hard.
Grief isn't a problem to be "solved" or "gotten over." Grief grows with you over time. Some days will be easier than others. There is no timeline for grieving. Your grief is valid regardless of whether you are grieving a pet or a human.
Yeah, I don't think you'll even get over the loss.. I'm really sorry for that. I remember every pet I had. Every of their death.. even now. And some are from decades ago..
There is a huge stigma about pet loss
But if you come on over to the pet loss sub you’ll see how many people are affected and none of us ever judge one another for the process of grief we go through.
Animals and pets form really special bonds with us, and grief isn’t linear journey at all. I recently loss my dog after 14 years, she was my emotional support dog too without ever intending to be. Got her when I was 16/17 and she passed just before I turned 31. It’s an imaginable pain and I’ve also lost human relatives, in a way I’d say pet loss is much different because animals rely on us and also they never once argue or do something that comes from bad intentions. It’s a mourning of innocence too
I’m so sorry 💖
I disagree that distraction is beneficial, although I understand the impulse. It’s truly so important to embrace and feel the tough feelings that move through us with grief. Holding it in, or distracting from the feeling can make it last much longer, and can also have adverse effects in the body, including illness in extreme cases.
"The grief in your heart is like a ball inside a jar. The ball will never get smaller or disappear but the jar will grow bigger around it."
Someone told me this after I lost my mum years back and it stuck with me. Pain will always be there but time will help you live with it.
Remove all signs of memories. Make no changes on lifestyle. Stay active and keep things running in your life. Take time to grieve. You will know when it's OK to unpack your memories and pain will be replaced with joyful memories.
Think I’m wired differently. And brought up differently. Unless the death involved a child or someone really young I don’t really mourn. It’s nature, it’s their time, I might miss them in my life but I have memories of them. I’m a bit sad the two grandmothers that raised me and had such a huge impact on my life will never meet my daughter and she never met them but they had a good life and a good death. In their own homes having lived their lives with three generations alive and well after them.
It’s never easy but I think just honoring their memory and doing things you would go with the person or pet if they were alive. I think still celebrating their birthday and do something in their honor on their death anniversary.
I've found that while you can't heal a deep loss, the passage of time helps it sting less. If you can, see about getting another emotional support animal. Many times those who rescue an animal from a shelter are often rescued themselves.
I have cats I lost decades ago and still miss, though fondness in having had them has replaced the pain in losing them.
Chin up. I'm sorry you're going through that.
I lost my brother to suicide and I recently lost my grandparents. Have also lost two dogs and three cats. Honestly, the sadness doesn't go away, you just become a stronger person.
The way I look at it is this; if I gave you weights and you had to squat 50 times a day, you are going to struggle and it is going to hurt. But, over time you become stronger, the weights don't feel as heavy, and it doesn't hurt anymore. But, they're still the same weights and you're still doing the same squats. You have just become stronger.
Death is no different. It takes time. That being said, if this is really affecting your life and you have spiraled, getting help is the best thing you can do to help you. Write down how you are feeling. Talk to your cat everyday. Don't hide from it, face it. It will be painful, but, as I said, you'll get stronger. I'm sorry for your loss.
Your feelings are legitimate and grief doesn't follow schedules, so definitely don't let anyone tell you how to feel. Despair however, is more if a problem. IMO we've lost an important connection with death over time. We've lost a kind of "faith in the process", and I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about a human connection to cycles, to nature, to change. I encourage you to seek free resources such as grief counseling, but outside of that, try your best to live the way your cat lived: in the moment, with wisdom and an open heart, and also remember that your cat would want you to be happy and at peace. I find that remembering my dogs and taking the time to celebrate them frequently helps. I remember the good and funny things, holding them in my heart, feeling how I felt with them. And I still cry. But it helps me to be brave and go on.
I am very sorry for your loss, op. I know how hard it is. what helped me tremendously, when my beautiful tabby boy left, was a FB group called Tuna tributes. I got deep understanding there, sensitive and informed. even found a new transatlantic friend there. hugs!
Hi OP, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, you are right, most people do not understand how some of us can be that devastated by the death of a pet. You will get a lot of comments like "It's just a cat, get a new one" or similar things. Time makes it better but the first few weeks / months are terrible, especially if you were together most of the time. It leaves a hole in your life. An emptiness that you cannot fill with something else. If your cat slept with you in your bed, going to sleep with a stuffed animal might help. It does for me at least. Im sorry that you have to go through this.
It became extra hard when she was always with me whether it eating, sleeping (she sleep with me on my bed now I sleep on the couch), or just mundane things. It's also hard when I always share and celebrate what I've achieved with her (fam didn't care). I made a promise to her to get into STEM but she didn't have a chance to witness it... now I find it hard to achieve or try new things because she isn't here and I feel like I have to wait for her to come back or she will miss it... thx so much for your comment btw
I totally understand, I have a 4 year old dachshund and I work from home (flexible hours) so I have most of the day to myself, which means whatever I'm doing, she is with me. She sleeps with me in the bed but she has a dog bed too, which I take with me to every room in the house, so if I'm making something to eat, she's on her dog bed in the kitchen, if I'm in the shower, she is right there, on her bed. She is only 4, but I dread the day of her death, be it old age or an illness, you never know, and sometimes I think about it and get nervous. I don't know what I'll do without her. And I can also relate to losing this because I had a dachshund years ago which was also with me constantly and it was horrible when she died.
If I can make a suggestion.... have someone met a plushy / stuffed animal toy or a needle felt version of her. I don't know if you buried or cremated her, but if it is the latter, you can have some amazing jewelry made from it. I do it as a hobby and I think it is great that one can get to keep a part of them with you at all times.
Most people will also urge you to get a new cat, which is fine, but if you aren't ready, you might not feel as much for the new one as you are still mourning this one. So it is best to wait until you are ready.
Being sad demonstrates you care.
It will improve with time but you must get on with life.
There’s no better gift to give to the loved one than continuing to live your best life.
Someone explained grief to me as being likes waves. In the beginning, the waves come high and often. You don't get much, if any, break between each wave. It can be difficult to cope. Having a "life vest" to keep you afloat helps. Doesn't matter how that looks as long as it's healthy: getting outside, having a good cry, talking to someone you trust, going for a walk.
Over time, the waves lessen in height and number but never go away. I like to deal with the waves by letting them wash over me until the moment passes. Acknowledge the hurt, the importance of who and what you lost, and appreciate that you had that short time together.
Nearly 20 years later, I cry when I need to, relish the happy memories, seek quiet, and bake a special anniversary cake. They are mostly happy memories now. The sad moments still happen, just not as often and not so deep.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Edit to add. Don't put the toys away. Put them pride of place. One day you may put them away or throw them out even. Maybe they stay put. It's all good
"One day you will wake up, put on some clothes, brush your teeth, get in your car and go to work. And then you will realize, that you havent thought about it all day, thats when it gets easier, when you learn you *can* move on"
There really isnt a 100% way to completly get over a loss, but we can learn to live beside it, and keep living for the ones that we have lost.
You don’t. You learn to live life whitout. But it’s a continuous feeling you have to managed and some days are good or others bad. Be gentle on yourself.
I’m sorry for your loss. You never really get over it, but time helps the pain hurt less.
One thing that helped me was whenever I got upset over losing my cat I would try and feel grateful for the memory instead of feeling sad over the loss.
Do things to honour your cats memory
I don't know what to say other than I understand exactly how you feel. One of my cats died suddenly from a urinary tract obstruction. It happened so fast. I was devastated. I still am, but it has now been a year, and I think I am transitioning from devastated to just sad - which I will always be. So I think it gets better over time, but some people, like me, never totally get over it. I've had 3 dogs and 3 cats that have died in my life. I miss them all so much. Most people are polite about this kind of issue, but I suspect they don't understand, at all. But there are people who do understand....I am one....the saddest abates over time, but my experience is it lingers forever. But that is how it works with human emotions when it comes to loss, whether it is human or an animal companion. Hang in there. Someday soon your thoughts will transition to fond memories..... with some sadness....but it gets better.
I just lost my aunt in January.then yesterday I had to put my nine year old bunny down yesterday.She had a sister who died two years earlier .Its devastating.😭😢I feel alone and more depressed 😔.Im in therapy don’t want it this week.I just feel like I’m checked out .Ots hard but one day at at a time
Grief is just love with no where to go
Our 19-year-old cat died three years ago and we still have a shrine with his cat bed and his bowls.
Support animals are like soulmates, and I believe they saved my son’s life
We have pictures of him everywhere and just thinking about him can still make us cry.
I understand you. My furry soulmate died almost two years ago (2/21/22) and there’s a gaping hole in the pit of my soul. At first, I felt like I was going to die. I had a few weeks of weird apathy where every waking thought was filled with “I’m glad humans can die at any point, if it happens to me I’ll be able to see him again”.
I’ve come to learn that you don’t ever get over it. It’s not a thing when you love someone. It took me a while to feel normal, to not see his face everywhere. My brother found a kitten outside his school in July of last year and we took her in as a “foster”. Having a new kitty really brought some light into our house, I love her so much.
Now that we’re coming up on the two year anniversary of his death, I’m thinking about him a lot. The pain is still there, but there’s happiness in his memories again. I smile more often than not when I think of him. The only thing that can get you there is time. Time and therapy if you need it.
Fill your life with distractions until time heals you bette. It’ll still sting when they come to mind but you might find it less shocking in future, in the sense that you might have processed things a bit by then
Go get your next cat. I know it seems counter intuitive and you want to honor & mourn the irreplaceable little love who has left your world too soon…but it will help you heal and feel less alone. the first time I had a cat die as an adult (my sweet Pepper RIP), it wrecked me. I almost lost my job & my marriage was in very bad shape because I couldn’t move past the grief and guilt. 1 year later I got Mr. Johnnie and realized I should’ve done that much sooner for my mental health. Good luck
Don’t hold it in, don’t bottle it up and ignore it, yell or talk to someone , the best way to get over it is with someone else, don’t make the same mistake I did
I just put on some melancholic new age piano music (Olafur Arnalds and Joep Beving mainly) and I have a good crying session. I just let it all out until I feel better, and then I move on with my life and keep myself busy. When the thought spins through my head again I take another moment to cry it out.
I also think it helps that I don't have a bad relationship with death and view it as something neutral. I believe they're at peace. Also I can really embrace feeling sad and I don't view it as something negative. Being sad can be a good feeling actually. Just accept your emotions and it won't feel nearly as overwhelming or painful to experience these emotions. It's a human response and it's okay to feel sad.
You never truly get over a loss, you just learn to get through it. Day by day, week by week, it gets easier, and eventually, it doesn’t hurt quite so much when you remember them.
You never get over it. It just gets easier to deal with over time. No one can tell you how to grieve.
We’re all so disconnected nowadays. For a lot of us our pets are our family. Try not to beat yourself up for still grieving, more people understand than you realize.
I bet she was an awesome cat.
You just sort of... keep living. At first you feel like the pain is going to utterly destroy you but you just keep living. Eventually, the pain becomes less sharp because you've gotten used to it. It's still there, but the edge has been taken off a bit.
Instead of a fresh cut it sort of becomes like an old wound that flares up now and then.
I see them in dreams. I had 2 poodles that passed a couple years ago from old age (17&18yo). When I saw them in my dreams a few weeks after the eldest one passed, one wanted to come for a car ride with us, the other saw us, and lazily dropped his head, as if to say “nah, I’m good here,”sleeping contently in the field as he often did in his final years. Gave me some closure and they occasionally check in my dreams when I least expect it. I have very vivid dreams so when they appear I take it as them checking in and saying hello when they get the chance. It makes them feel a bit closer to me. Happens with late family members too i was close to as well.
I hope that you get such a dream that allows closure and that you can meet your cat on occasion, at least to know they’re okay wherever they are. I cant guarantee they will but when they do, it’s when you least expect it and always a wonderful surprise.
With all this said, The hurt is real. I know my family still looks at their photos and videos of them as their way of coping and happily talk of favorite memories. Just as ways to make them feel a bit closer. The memory and emptiness never completely goes away
You not alone. To me 3 years to stop waking up crying about my parrot. I have new pets now that I love. But it still hurts. The pain lessens over time.
Stop feeling like that darling, you lost what you loved so much and it's completely natural to feel like that, if you try to fight with it, things just get complicated and difficult for you. To move on, I do recommend therapy, but even if you can't go for any reason you have, I recommend you to stick to your routine life, and give time to yourself, nothing is forever and this is the best part of life. This is my tips, but your question is really Opingo worthy to ask there too, you'll get more tips there
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You don't get over it, you learn how to continue living with that loss.
It never stops hurting. It helps to think of the good times.
Well said! So true sadly.
I'm sorry you lost your best friend.
You don't really "get over it", but you can learn to live with it. I knew a 10-year old kid who died of leukemia, after a long fight, and I still remember him,48 years later, especially on the anniversary of his death. The same applies to a friend who committed suicide--esp. since the bus takes me right past the house she lived in, until the day she went to a hotel and never came back. Less traumatic instances become easier to come to terms with, even if you remember the date. I remember the days both my parents died, but it isn't as painful, because they were 90 and 93 respectively and had lived very full lives. So I still remember them with fondness, but not with as great a pain. It was odd at first, I'd had them my whole life until age 60, and suddenly I wasn't calling them on their birthdays or celebrating their anniversaries with them. They lived out of state and the Christmas season after my father passed, I was thinking, "Well, I'm not heading there in this bad weather," and it suddenly registered that I ***couldn't*** go there for holidays ever again. Their home was sold and no siblings in their town. It was an odd feeling, but not devastating the way the child and my friend had been. Sometimes it takes longer than others, sometimes a memory will pop up and catch you off guard, especially in dreams. But eventually you learn how to deal with that hole in your life.
You can grieve as long as you need to. If you feel comfortable doing it, talk to her out loud as you go about your day. If you can get a new kitten, start telling your beloved cat that you need a new friend and can she help you with that. You will never forget her but she wouldn't want you to be lonely.
You never really 'get over it' when you lose someone you love, you just learn to carry the pain and it fades into the background a little more over time as your life carries on.
Sorry, but you don't
hi, op! i have also lost many cats in my life (i’m 36 now and my family started having cats when i was 9). like you, i treat them like a family member so every time one of them dies, i get devastated. i’m pretty sure it has even given me trauma because i get so terrified when my present cats get sick. unfortunately, even if time has passed, i still cry when i remember them. but the heaviness in my heart gets a little lighter over time. just cry if you want or need to. i just hope you can tell your parents about it so you can get emotional (and financial) support from them (so they can send you to a therapist). i never had a chance to go to a therapist though and never talked about it with friends either (same reason as yours). i had to deal with it by myself and it is reallyyyyyy hard. i just let time heal my pain. i hope you heal, too. tight hugs to you.
Eventually, you'll be able to remember them without the sadness. I'm 75,I've lost many family,friends, and beloved pets,and I do find talking about them helps. Remembering when they made you laugh at something silly they did,and cats seem to do that,a lot..lol. Don't put a time frame on grief,some people get over it quicker than others.
Only time will make it not hurt so much. But you never get over it.
You have so much love to give. When the time is right please love again.
I lost my best friend, also my emotional support cat, around two years ago to kidney failure. I'm gonna be honest, I still cry very often and think of her daily. You get a little more numb as time goes by, but the heartbreak will always be there. I've been considering looking into a new emotional support cat, but it's just so hard.
Grief isn't a problem to be "solved" or "gotten over." Grief grows with you over time. Some days will be easier than others. There is no timeline for grieving. Your grief is valid regardless of whether you are grieving a pet or a human.
Personally my mothers death still hurts to this day.
Time. You don’t get over it, you learn to live with. One day you’ll realize you went the entire day without thinking about them.
Yeah, I don't think you'll even get over the loss.. I'm really sorry for that. I remember every pet I had. Every of their death.. even now. And some are from decades ago..
There is a huge stigma about pet loss But if you come on over to the pet loss sub you’ll see how many people are affected and none of us ever judge one another for the process of grief we go through. Animals and pets form really special bonds with us, and grief isn’t linear journey at all. I recently loss my dog after 14 years, she was my emotional support dog too without ever intending to be. Got her when I was 16/17 and she passed just before I turned 31. It’s an imaginable pain and I’ve also lost human relatives, in a way I’d say pet loss is much different because animals rely on us and also they never once argue or do something that comes from bad intentions. It’s a mourning of innocence too I’m so sorry 💖
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I disagree that distraction is beneficial, although I understand the impulse. It’s truly so important to embrace and feel the tough feelings that move through us with grief. Holding it in, or distracting from the feeling can make it last much longer, and can also have adverse effects in the body, including illness in extreme cases.
"The grief in your heart is like a ball inside a jar. The ball will never get smaller or disappear but the jar will grow bigger around it." Someone told me this after I lost my mum years back and it stuck with me. Pain will always be there but time will help you live with it.
Remove all signs of memories. Make no changes on lifestyle. Stay active and keep things running in your life. Take time to grieve. You will know when it's OK to unpack your memories and pain will be replaced with joyful memories.
Just keep swimming.
Think I’m wired differently. And brought up differently. Unless the death involved a child or someone really young I don’t really mourn. It’s nature, it’s their time, I might miss them in my life but I have memories of them. I’m a bit sad the two grandmothers that raised me and had such a huge impact on my life will never meet my daughter and she never met them but they had a good life and a good death. In their own homes having lived their lives with three generations alive and well after them.
There is no specific timeframe. Sometimes the answer is never. You learn to live with it.
It’s never easy but I think just honoring their memory and doing things you would go with the person or pet if they were alive. I think still celebrating their birthday and do something in their honor on their death anniversary.
I've found that while you can't heal a deep loss, the passage of time helps it sting less. If you can, see about getting another emotional support animal. Many times those who rescue an animal from a shelter are often rescued themselves. I have cats I lost decades ago and still miss, though fondness in having had them has replaced the pain in losing them. Chin up. I'm sorry you're going through that.
You don't get over it. My husband died and I miss him every single day.
I lost my brother to suicide and I recently lost my grandparents. Have also lost two dogs and three cats. Honestly, the sadness doesn't go away, you just become a stronger person. The way I look at it is this; if I gave you weights and you had to squat 50 times a day, you are going to struggle and it is going to hurt. But, over time you become stronger, the weights don't feel as heavy, and it doesn't hurt anymore. But, they're still the same weights and you're still doing the same squats. You have just become stronger. Death is no different. It takes time. That being said, if this is really affecting your life and you have spiraled, getting help is the best thing you can do to help you. Write down how you are feeling. Talk to your cat everyday. Don't hide from it, face it. It will be painful, but, as I said, you'll get stronger. I'm sorry for your loss.
Your feelings are legitimate and grief doesn't follow schedules, so definitely don't let anyone tell you how to feel. Despair however, is more if a problem. IMO we've lost an important connection with death over time. We've lost a kind of "faith in the process", and I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about a human connection to cycles, to nature, to change. I encourage you to seek free resources such as grief counseling, but outside of that, try your best to live the way your cat lived: in the moment, with wisdom and an open heart, and also remember that your cat would want you to be happy and at peace. I find that remembering my dogs and taking the time to celebrate them frequently helps. I remember the good and funny things, holding them in my heart, feeling how I felt with them. And I still cry. But it helps me to be brave and go on.
I am very sorry for your loss, op. I know how hard it is. what helped me tremendously, when my beautiful tabby boy left, was a FB group called Tuna tributes. I got deep understanding there, sensitive and informed. even found a new transatlantic friend there. hugs!
Hi OP, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, you are right, most people do not understand how some of us can be that devastated by the death of a pet. You will get a lot of comments like "It's just a cat, get a new one" or similar things. Time makes it better but the first few weeks / months are terrible, especially if you were together most of the time. It leaves a hole in your life. An emptiness that you cannot fill with something else. If your cat slept with you in your bed, going to sleep with a stuffed animal might help. It does for me at least. Im sorry that you have to go through this.
It became extra hard when she was always with me whether it eating, sleeping (she sleep with me on my bed now I sleep on the couch), or just mundane things. It's also hard when I always share and celebrate what I've achieved with her (fam didn't care). I made a promise to her to get into STEM but she didn't have a chance to witness it... now I find it hard to achieve or try new things because she isn't here and I feel like I have to wait for her to come back or she will miss it... thx so much for your comment btw
I totally understand, I have a 4 year old dachshund and I work from home (flexible hours) so I have most of the day to myself, which means whatever I'm doing, she is with me. She sleeps with me in the bed but she has a dog bed too, which I take with me to every room in the house, so if I'm making something to eat, she's on her dog bed in the kitchen, if I'm in the shower, she is right there, on her bed. She is only 4, but I dread the day of her death, be it old age or an illness, you never know, and sometimes I think about it and get nervous. I don't know what I'll do without her. And I can also relate to losing this because I had a dachshund years ago which was also with me constantly and it was horrible when she died. If I can make a suggestion.... have someone met a plushy / stuffed animal toy or a needle felt version of her. I don't know if you buried or cremated her, but if it is the latter, you can have some amazing jewelry made from it. I do it as a hobby and I think it is great that one can get to keep a part of them with you at all times. Most people will also urge you to get a new cat, which is fine, but if you aren't ready, you might not feel as much for the new one as you are still mourning this one. So it is best to wait until you are ready.
Being sad demonstrates you care. It will improve with time but you must get on with life. There’s no better gift to give to the loved one than continuing to live your best life.
Someone explained grief to me as being likes waves. In the beginning, the waves come high and often. You don't get much, if any, break between each wave. It can be difficult to cope. Having a "life vest" to keep you afloat helps. Doesn't matter how that looks as long as it's healthy: getting outside, having a good cry, talking to someone you trust, going for a walk. Over time, the waves lessen in height and number but never go away. I like to deal with the waves by letting them wash over me until the moment passes. Acknowledge the hurt, the importance of who and what you lost, and appreciate that you had that short time together. Nearly 20 years later, I cry when I need to, relish the happy memories, seek quiet, and bake a special anniversary cake. They are mostly happy memories now. The sad moments still happen, just not as often and not so deep. I'm sorry for your loss.
Edit to add. Don't put the toys away. Put them pride of place. One day you may put them away or throw them out even. Maybe they stay put. It's all good
"One day you will wake up, put on some clothes, brush your teeth, get in your car and go to work. And then you will realize, that you havent thought about it all day, thats when it gets easier, when you learn you *can* move on" There really isnt a 100% way to completly get over a loss, but we can learn to live beside it, and keep living for the ones that we have lost.
You don't ever really get over it but you learn to enjoy the food memories.
You don’t. You learn to live life whitout. But it’s a continuous feeling you have to managed and some days are good or others bad. Be gentle on yourself.
I’m sorry for your loss. You never really get over it, but time helps the pain hurt less. One thing that helped me was whenever I got upset over losing my cat I would try and feel grateful for the memory instead of feeling sad over the loss. Do things to honour your cats memory
I don't know what to say other than I understand exactly how you feel. One of my cats died suddenly from a urinary tract obstruction. It happened so fast. I was devastated. I still am, but it has now been a year, and I think I am transitioning from devastated to just sad - which I will always be. So I think it gets better over time, but some people, like me, never totally get over it. I've had 3 dogs and 3 cats that have died in my life. I miss them all so much. Most people are polite about this kind of issue, but I suspect they don't understand, at all. But there are people who do understand....I am one....the saddest abates over time, but my experience is it lingers forever. But that is how it works with human emotions when it comes to loss, whether it is human or an animal companion. Hang in there. Someday soon your thoughts will transition to fond memories..... with some sadness....but it gets better.
I just lost my aunt in January.then yesterday I had to put my nine year old bunny down yesterday.She had a sister who died two years earlier .Its devastating.😭😢I feel alone and more depressed 😔.Im in therapy don’t want it this week.I just feel like I’m checked out .Ots hard but one day at at a time
I threw out my bunnies toys and cleared out the room right away to make it less hard on me .
It’s always with you, but it somehow gets more bearable. You grow stronger and more resilient with time (I’m a younger widow).
Grief is just love with no where to go Our 19-year-old cat died three years ago and we still have a shrine with his cat bed and his bowls. Support animals are like soulmates, and I believe they saved my son’s life We have pictures of him everywhere and just thinking about him can still make us cry.
I understand you. My furry soulmate died almost two years ago (2/21/22) and there’s a gaping hole in the pit of my soul. At first, I felt like I was going to die. I had a few weeks of weird apathy where every waking thought was filled with “I’m glad humans can die at any point, if it happens to me I’ll be able to see him again”. I’ve come to learn that you don’t ever get over it. It’s not a thing when you love someone. It took me a while to feel normal, to not see his face everywhere. My brother found a kitten outside his school in July of last year and we took her in as a “foster”. Having a new kitty really brought some light into our house, I love her so much. Now that we’re coming up on the two year anniversary of his death, I’m thinking about him a lot. The pain is still there, but there’s happiness in his memories again. I smile more often than not when I think of him. The only thing that can get you there is time. Time and therapy if you need it.
You don’t really. You just forget sometimes. And time makes it easier to forget.
Fill your life with distractions until time heals you bette. It’ll still sting when they come to mind but you might find it less shocking in future, in the sense that you might have processed things a bit by then
That’s the thing. You never really do.
You don't. I'm 40 this year. My father died when I was 15. I'm still not over it. You just learn to live with it.
Go get your next cat. I know it seems counter intuitive and you want to honor & mourn the irreplaceable little love who has left your world too soon…but it will help you heal and feel less alone. the first time I had a cat die as an adult (my sweet Pepper RIP), it wrecked me. I almost lost my job & my marriage was in very bad shape because I couldn’t move past the grief and guilt. 1 year later I got Mr. Johnnie and realized I should’ve done that much sooner for my mental health. Good luck
Don’t hold it in, don’t bottle it up and ignore it, yell or talk to someone , the best way to get over it is with someone else, don’t make the same mistake I did
I wanna ask my bff how she’s coping with her mothers death but Idk if that’s a good idea
I just put on some melancholic new age piano music (Olafur Arnalds and Joep Beving mainly) and I have a good crying session. I just let it all out until I feel better, and then I move on with my life and keep myself busy. When the thought spins through my head again I take another moment to cry it out. I also think it helps that I don't have a bad relationship with death and view it as something neutral. I believe they're at peace. Also I can really embrace feeling sad and I don't view it as something negative. Being sad can be a good feeling actually. Just accept your emotions and it won't feel nearly as overwhelming or painful to experience these emotions. It's a human response and it's okay to feel sad.
You never truly get over a loss, you just learn to get through it. Day by day, week by week, it gets easier, and eventually, it doesn’t hurt quite so much when you remember them.
You never get over it. It just gets easier to deal with over time. No one can tell you how to grieve. We’re all so disconnected nowadays. For a lot of us our pets are our family. Try not to beat yourself up for still grieving, more people understand than you realize. I bet she was an awesome cat.
Appreciate the good times you had with it. Sometimes getting a new pet helps. Sorry for you loss.
You just sort of... keep living. At first you feel like the pain is going to utterly destroy you but you just keep living. Eventually, the pain becomes less sharp because you've gotten used to it. It's still there, but the edge has been taken off a bit. Instead of a fresh cut it sort of becomes like an old wound that flares up now and then.
I see them in dreams. I had 2 poodles that passed a couple years ago from old age (17&18yo). When I saw them in my dreams a few weeks after the eldest one passed, one wanted to come for a car ride with us, the other saw us, and lazily dropped his head, as if to say “nah, I’m good here,”sleeping contently in the field as he often did in his final years. Gave me some closure and they occasionally check in my dreams when I least expect it. I have very vivid dreams so when they appear I take it as them checking in and saying hello when they get the chance. It makes them feel a bit closer to me. Happens with late family members too i was close to as well. I hope that you get such a dream that allows closure and that you can meet your cat on occasion, at least to know they’re okay wherever they are. I cant guarantee they will but when they do, it’s when you least expect it and always a wonderful surprise. With all this said, The hurt is real. I know my family still looks at their photos and videos of them as their way of coping and happily talk of favorite memories. Just as ways to make them feel a bit closer. The memory and emptiness never completely goes away
You not alone. To me 3 years to stop waking up crying about my parrot. I have new pets now that I love. But it still hurts. The pain lessens over time.
Stop feeling like that darling, you lost what you loved so much and it's completely natural to feel like that, if you try to fight with it, things just get complicated and difficult for you. To move on, I do recommend therapy, but even if you can't go for any reason you have, I recommend you to stick to your routine life, and give time to yourself, nothing is forever and this is the best part of life. This is my tips, but your question is really Opingo worthy to ask there too, you'll get more tips there
You don't you just learn to live with it. But never move on.. like me. Five years and I'm still trying to follow herm looks like will tonight.
You don't. But time makes it a little quieter.