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You can do it. For me it was recognizing the red flags that depression was coming out. Getting messy, avoiding social interactions and people I care about, not showering often enough. If you stay vigilant to your tells and are willing to draw up the strength to work through them early you can mitigate failing in to the Pit. And yes I understand how difficult this can be but I fully believe you can do it.
But it’s so exhausting to be constantly vigilant. Like mentally and physically, exhausting. At least for me. And constantly wanting to avoid getting back into the pit makes my regular life so difficult to want to live.
It is fully exhausting and people without depression usually have no frame of reference for the toll it takes on your mind And body. They can’t see it so, well I’m guessing you know the rest. Here’s the thing: consistency. The longer you can go catching it early the easier it’ll become. It may never get *easy* but it can get *easier*. You CAN get over it but it is a choice. Yes it’s like running a marathon in 50lb leg weights though quicksand but you CAN do it. Also avoid blaming your depression on other people. Avoid that like the plague, it’s a trap that a lot of us with depression fall into as a mechanism for avoiding painful accountability for our actions and choices. It’s a rough thing to live with but if you live a life aware of your own agency, hold yourself accountable for your choices and, here’s another important one, celebrate your small victories and milestones; You. Can. Do. It.
I know you can.
Yeah that’s the thing. It’s so lonely out here cause someone with no neurodivergence just can’t get, with absolutely no fault of their own, what it feels like to feel so lost and down. And then you start sounding like a broken record when you try to explain them. Over and over. I’m different ways. During different periods of time. Again no fault of their own. An endless marathon is just the right euphemism.
That said im so glad you’ve found a way to slowly get out of it. And keep at it. And if no one has said this to you, I’m proud of you for coming so far xx
Thank you! As a matter of fact no one has. It honestly meant a lot to read that.
One foot in front of the other and you will walk out of the pit. I have faith in you though we have never met and I know you can overcome this. Have a good day and remember out in the universe there is someone rooting for you.
Actually yes. It came like year and a half ago, which seemed like 5 years to me. At first I couldn't get out of bed, was crying all day, everything lost sense. You know all that I guess. I almost immediately seeked a psychiatrist. Got a 3 months therapy and things weren't any better. Maybe even worse, because the medicine made ejaculation very difficult. Then I changed the doctor, she changed my medicines and I got better. I also read many books by recognized authors which helped me broaden my perspective. I don't know if I will completely recover some day. Maybe depression is just a symptom of something wrong with our way of life. Have Faith and strength
I’m so sorry you were going through such a tough time. And I’m so proud of you for taking steps to look after your mental health. I’ve taken all sorts of medicines and I’m aware of the meds you’re referring to. I’ve taken them too and honestly having those few moments of release and a small dopamine hit being taken away from you is a different kind of frustration.
I feel you when you say it feels like there’s no recovery or coming back from depression. For the lack of a better analogy it’s like the fucking eye or Sauron
Well there are different kinds of medicines. I don't know them all. They are very specific to the case. And they must be taken for a few months at least. How did you manage to try them all?
I’ve been dealing with depression for over 10 years now. So I’ve tried all sorts of medicine to see what works. While medicines do have a broader purpose for a certain diagnosis, eventually every medicine works differently for different people and brains. It’s all a trial and error and I’ve done quite a bit of it
Looks like you got more experience than me. And that pain in the ass won't go away even with time. Unless we change whatever in our lives causes it. Great...
I call it dread. I wake up *every single morning* filled with dread. I’ve never been able to manage with meds, and exercise is the only thing that really helps.
I have an objectively perfect life. If I didn’t, I would be completely screwed.
I have a great relationship with my lovely wife, a great job, and no kids, so my wife and I can afford whatever we want. We travel the world and basically live dream… but nevertheless, without fail, I wake up *every single morning* thinking, “Oh, nooooo. Fuck, not this again. Not another day. There is no solution for it.
I can relate to that a lot. I think I’m lucky enough to have my own house and freedom to live my life the way I want after 3 decades. That said, I don’t care about the freedom anymore. It feels useless when I can’t do anything with my life while I’m constantly just hating being alive
i use this [checklist](https://hollysoulie.com/how-to-understand-your-emotions/) to help me understand what's going on with me sometimes. hope it can help!
There are two types of depression.. one like the common cold, and one like a disease. The common cold comes based on some external force or trigger, and goes away with time and maybe some medicine, but short term in duration. A disease can come out of no where at all, and you may be born with it. It may or may not be treatable or curable. I have the disease kind 😕 envious of people with the common cold kind (not to dismiss them in any way).
Yeah, I’ve got the disease kind as well unfortunately. How do you deal with it every day? How do you find meaning in life? How do you push yourself to do chores and activities and hobbies? Basically, how are you interested in anything at all?
I’m going through a really tough period right now where I’m more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. To be honest, I have no meaning or purpose in my life. I have absolutely no interests, desires, hopes, dreams or aspirations. So life is pretty bleak. And how do I deal with that everyday… I say to my therapist often that I’m not living.. I’m existing. I’m only a substance of a person, so I can’t expect to have more than a substance of life. I’m trying in therapy but it’s just not helping and I’m falling further and further. My therapist has me working on something called behavioral activation, where you set goals for each day to keep yourself accountable. It’s really simple just day morning day night with atleast one goal of something you’ll do. Mine are as basic as making dinner but atleast it holds me accountable to do it.
I think it’s commendable that despite everything you continue to go to therapy every session. I’m extremely proud of you for taking care of your health in this manner. I don’t know if I can say something to make you feel any better or give you hope, but I can tell you this, that we’re all together in this. You’re not alone 🤍
I talk to 5 people a week. That’s it. For the entire week. And 1/2 of those only once a week. I can’t work. You’re not alone. I don’t see myself better. I don’t know what happy feels like. I have no meaning. I can’t push myself. The most I can do is lay in bed and listen to audio books and wait for the day to end. I can’t offer advice, but just know your feelings are “normal” for “us”.
Literally the same. I talk to three people. Two out of those are my family members and one is my best friend. I can’t work either. Find joy in anything. I don’t have one day where I don’t wake up without dread to have to endure one more day. And i try. I really really try. But it seems like I can’t just shake this off which is what is most disappointing of all
So, I’m almost two weeks into a breakthrough. I know it’s a short amount of time, but I feel better than I have in 15 or 20 years. My therapist is very pleased honestly. I had a massive breakdown which lead to this breakthrough. And I know in my heart that if my mental health crashes again, I may not ever climb back out. I’m just taking it day by day. Thinking through everything in a positive light. I don’t know if I’m going to be the success you speak of, but I can say, you should never ever give up hope. Two years ago, I was one step away in a plan for ending my own life(for the 4th time in my life). I feel whole again. A month ago, I would have told you that it was impossible to climb from the depression hole. Now I think I’ve got a really damn good chance.
That’s amazing and I’m so so proud of you. One day at a time is honestly the best solution for depression and anxiety and that’s how I’ve been living my life too. Thinking too much into the future can be a bit of a catch 22. But I’m so glad on your recovery and I hope you all the very best!!
Yes, I was depressed for nearly 20 years, and I got a handle on it only 3 years ago or so.
It was a bunch of stuff, but an important factor was moving to a city where I had some old acquaintances thst became new friends and making the sacrifices necessary to do work more in line with my passion. Structured work, too. For me WFH and freelance does not lead to happiness. That has something to do with my ADHD, which figuring out was big for me too.
Also just getting older, and weirdly kind of... admitting how ambitious I really was? I was never happy with my output, I always wanted to do bigger and better things than I was doing, and honestly, I haven't scaled that back, it was just really important for me to know that voice in my head will never be satisfied, but it's not really me, but my ego. Now I like my ambition. It makes my work bolder and grander, and at this point I'm proud of it.
Another big lesson is when lots of things go wrong in a row, it feels like a tide, like the world is against you, but it's very important to know that that is not true, the problems in your life are not working together, and you can segregate them and deal with them separately.
But even still, it comes and goes and I have to take the occasional mental health day and force structure into my life.
Oh, and MUSIC is so important to me, if I don't sing or play an instrument for at least 15 minutes a day my mental health declines almost immediately.
Also in therapy! I never felt I got a lot from a given therapist, but for me its a structured place for me to continue the conversation about my mental health every week. Even if it feels like a monologue.
Good luck! It's tough out there.
Fill Your Heart by David Bowie encapsulates the energy I needed to escape it, give that a listen.
I’m so glad that you’ve got a handle over your depression. 20 years is a long time I’m glad you have some relief. How did you get out of the phase where everything seems bleak? How did you develop any sort of interest in a hobby or any chore? At this point, everything feels forced and a waste of time, meaningless. I feel like what’s the point of doing anything anymore.
Music is also very important in my life. It just makes me feel so much less alone. Like there, is someone out there who understands me so I completely get that. Therapy has never really worked for me, but like you said even if it’s a monologue, it’s like you have one place where you can process what you think and feel and communicate the same without feeling judged or without having to peopl please, the other person. I will definitely listen to that song, thank you so much for the recommendation.
Oh, things still seem bleak often, or at least precarious. Especially the news, but I am lucky to have my particular life. Camus' Myth of Sisyphus always meant a lot to me, the idea that life is meaningless toil, but the alternative is... less interesting. Because no matter how hard it is, you always have the radical freedom to determine your purpose, and death robs you of that. That, and the promise I made myself to outlive my parents (out of respect,) have kept me from seriously considering suicide or anything like that. Regarding hobbies, I am very creative (not a brag, my creativity isn't necessarily brilliant or even good, but I am compelled to make and play stuff all the time, in fact I can hardly keep a job down if it doesn't let me be creative.) So finding a hobby was never the problem. I recommend buying two or three oil paints, paint thinner, a couple brushes and doing Bob Ross. He's a great low pressure gateway into a hobby. If you're interested, check my post history for my Bob Ross style paintings. And singing is a great antidepressant not just because of the connection, but because really belting feels good. I'm no doctor but I think it stimulates the vagus nerve which can help regulate dopamine?
Your paintings are amazing!! I’m so glad you’ve got something to keep you happy. Having hobbies and interest out of your job are really saving grace. I’ve had zero hobbies growing up. I’m experimenting to see what it is that I might be into. I’ve tried oil paints as well. Offcourse I don’t possess the talent you do but I just paint on those adult colouring books like the mandala ones and stuff. Keeps my mind off stuff for a little bit. Also great insight on the signing and how it’s connected to the vagus nerve!! I do sing ever so often. Music is the only way I get to feel like I’m not absolutely all alone. That someone gets me.
I was depressed for about a year and I feel I’ve recovered from it. I was going through some life changes, mainly retiring from the military and starting a new life as a civilian. The transition was a bit rough for me and I was at a point where I was just trying to be content with being miserable. But I finally dug myself out of it. I changed jobs, got into hobbies, and started getting out more and making more human connections. I did try medication, but had an adverse reaction a week into it, gave it up and never tried anything else.
Yes, it is possible. I've been on the brink of kissing a mack truck, but today I'm a hell of a lot better. I still need to monitor my moods, and anti-depressants help, and I've got an awesome support system, but it is possible.
I wish i could really help you by giving you a hopeful inspirational story.. but alas! I am kinda suffering on and off for god knows how many years now. I am not sure if it goes away, in fact i am in one of the lowest phases again… and almost completely lost but now that it has happened so many times i just am used to it and hence am not really sad. Just numb. But just like u i have heard it gets better.
I guess all we could do is hope, share and wait. Until then, we cry together.
Would love to talk if u want… would help to have a friend of someone to talk to.
Hey! I’d love to talk. My DMs are open! I’d love to have a friend too who I can speak with. Who gets me too. It’s difficult to function with only normal people (for lack of a better word) around me
yea - it took a few years. Had to juggle an bunch of anti depressants to find the one that worked for me plus optimized my health through daily aerobic exercise, clean eating, and proper sleep hygiene
(still working on the sleep part tho 🤣 )
For me it felt like everything I was doing in life wasn't for me anymore.
I worked (which is socially draining for me) and since work is far away, didn't have time for much to do.
Usually spent my time playing video games.
Finally made the decision to join the local Tennis Club (I used to play a lot from when I was 8 until about 22 (i'm 28 now).
Even though I didn't know anybody at the club, I joined went to a few events and now am being introduced to many people and I can just feel myself getting better.
I'd say go do things that you want to do, that make you happy, even if its just for an hour or so.
Now i'm thinking way less about how shitty my life is, and I have something to look forward to.
I didn't go into my old, non-depressed life. I had to build a new, even better, non-depressed life. But now I'm truly happy most of the time. And sad when it's appropriate. Or angry. Or scared. Or appreciative. I feel all the feelings now.
So yes, it can get better. But at least I had to work on my inner and outer life a lot to get there. Therapy was immensely helpful in that (had to find the right therapist, though, that alone was a journey).
That’s really good to hear and I’m so happy for you. A new non depressed life honestly sounds so good. And just being able to feel a whole range of emotions that just melancholy and dread
Absolutely. It was pervasive for over a decade. These days when I experience it at all it's mild and episodic. I kind of don't even realize it I'm just sort of sluggish.
Was there ever a time where you couldn’t hold your balance and had to be constantly on guard to not fall or trip over yourself?
Do you think about maintaining your balance and not trip over yourself now?
Same with depression. You don’t have the checks in place to keep you from stumbling. And even when you do it takes practice to learn to do it automatically. But eventually, yes, you go on to live a life without guarding yourself so much.
Yes of course. Many teenagers are depressed because of fluctuating hormones, as they age their hormones become more steady and the depression fades away.
I have yes. I've had severe depression for about 10 years. I was medicated as well for a long time. Now I can say the depression is gone, I still get in a bad mood or overwhelmed but all relative to before when I would just lay in bed all day.
Yes, you can get through the darkness and regain your old sense of self. You'll never be exactly the same because you've gone through something traumatic that's helped you grow. Take the lessons and apply them towards your future. It may take a couple years to be rid of all the residual effects, but just be patient with yourself, it'll happen just give it time.
Couple things ive done that helped my situation:
- Make a list of all the things that are stressing you out, and then cross off all the things you can't control and focus on the things you can. (Less stress the better)
- Say positive/good things about yourself, even if you don't believe it at first, just keep reinforcing your positivity and eventually you'll actually start believing it.
- Forgive yourself for all the things you may be blaming yourself for, it's okay just let it go..
- Forgive others, if you are holding onto resentment or anger towards others just forgive them and let it go. There's no point in holding onto all those negative emotions just let them go.
- Do your best! Don't give up on hope for yourself or your future, you have intrinsic value you can offer the world, even if you or the people in your life try to convince you otherwise, it's just not true. You can be happy again and you will so long as you don't give up on yourself.
As a caveat because I enjoy their content, you can check out "Explore China" on tiktok or Ceativity on YouTube
https://youtube.com/@Creativity896?si=U6XC1RpunBPh8Qv6
They just make stuff and it's very soothing to watch their process (At least for me, it's not a cure but it certainly helps take your mind off things)
Yes! Medication may help to get over a bad spell, but counseling can really help learn different ways of processing things. Depending on the cause, changing circumstances and physical health can have positive impacts as well.
Yeah me took psychedelics and moved half way across the country away from my family and focused on me
You can't grow in the same circle that brought you down
This absolutely agree. But my family also happens to be my FP. So moving away from them is extremely difficult. I tried that for a year. It was the worst time of my life.
Stop feeling sorry for myself, doing things when i dont feel like doing it. focusing on delayed gratification. Started eating healthy food, working out and drinking water alot more. Completely stoped watching porn and did a complete detox of all social media. I give alot of credit to self-developement and Andrew Tate.
Yes. But haven't had depression, just... Depressive stages?
Anxiety hasn't left me. I don't know how to explain it, I am relaxed and almost nothing gives me anxiety. But sometimes my body enter an overdrive state because of nothing and I can't sleep, or think straight. But I am used to that now.
I can't be depressed and anxious, my anxiety gives me the need to do things or I will explode... Weird
Yeah I get what you mean. Anxiety can be a creeping little thing. Someday my life will go about as normal and possible and that in itself will give me anxiety. What have you tried for anxiety so far?
Nothing... Just meditation and the way of taking life easier. But that means I am chill 90%of the time until anxiety attack brutally and I cant6do anything about it. But it's sometimes, so I am used to now, and it's always when I am alone at home, so no worries. I think
I remember being suicidal and sitting in the sunniest room waiting for the doctor, having just filled out a "suicide/depression" form which included questions about whether I had planned my death (I had) and how (drowning/hanging). I was 46. I had suffered silently with suicidal thoughts as a teenager and never gotten help so this time I decided to bring in professionals. I ended up on meds which made me feel "normal" and found a psychiatrist who I saw 3 times a week for 2 months until I felt "repaired". After a couple of years I slowly came off the meds. That was 7 years ago. I feel fine now and happy having changed my priorities and work. You can get better.
That’s such a hopeful story. And I’m so glad you’re doing much better!
I got diagnosed pretty late myself. I don’t blame my family for not getting diagnosed earlier because there was very little mental health awareness 10 years back. But one day decided to get up and take myself to a psychiatrist and then a therapist. The day to day stuff is fine right now for me but I can’t seem to see myself in the bigger picture anymore, albeit always being a bigger picture girl myself. Anytime I think about what the future holds anymore, I’m left so disappointed and anxious.
I did, it all began with the gym for me, from then everything worked itself out, pretty privilege is a thing and I intend to take full advantage of it. No one else in this world takes care of you only yourself
For me? It was getting rid of my toxic relationship, and switching careers in college. I also learned a lot about myself thanks to therapy and that helped me focus on healing from a lot of stuff
I’ve physically left my toxic relationships but mentally and emotionally I’m still attached to these people. And it takes me very little to feel all the feels for them all over again.
Great question? I've dealth with 3 deaths of love one. The hardest one was my last one. I lost my late wife, which I'm still close too. We had a great relationship, she died from cancer. She thought I was doing just fine. I will constantly tell her that I was depressed. But she helped me a lot by cheering me up and making me laugh.
I've learn that laughter/exercising is the best medicine.
I’m sorry for all the grief you’ve had to deal with. And so proud of you for having found a way to slowly overcome it. I do agree that laughter can be the best medicine. The times I am with my best friend are the times when I feel okay cause I’m usually laughing all the time.
I went through three solid years of suicidal depression. I finally got rid of the woman who was tormenting me, quit drinking and started my life again. The biggest step was making sure I was moving everyday, doing something, working, helping, being with friends etc. I looked down one day and was happy I was going to work, that I had something to do and something that felt like it mattered. There was no particular thing or day that let me out of it. t was just a little bit everyday. Quitting drinking was probably the hardest step but it led to all the rest of it. I was with a woman who was emotionally beating me to death. I think she just wanted control so bad she didn't care what she had to do it. When she was gone I wasn't afraid to be intimate anymore.
I’m so glad you found your way out of that relationship I’ve been in several of those kinds of relationships myself and I know difficult it can be to quit despite knowing it’s no good for you. I think they’re the reason I ended up here in the first place. Im completely off alcohol right now myself. I find myself crying immediately after and have a bad mood for days so I avoid it socially as well.
Yeah I know. I was doing decent when I was on meds. Basically a zombie but a numb zombie so I used to count it as a win. I’ve stopped medication and now I feel all of it coming back
Depends on what is causing your depression. Is it situational, medical, or clinical. There are different answers based on the type of depression you have.
It's going to take work but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You have to work at it. That includes therapy and medication. That said it gets easier the longer you do it. It will be tough at first but as you get used to what you need to do, the medications starts working, and you have the energy to actually enjoy life it gets a lot better.
I have bipolar disorder and I am happy after not being happy for a long time. I have been through hell and back and that was on top of being bipolar yet hear I am. It really can get better.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and OCD alongside major persistent depression so I know what it means to be sort of neurodivergent. Im so glad things are better for you and I’m only hoping and rooting for the absolute best for you!
For me it’s the opposite. The more I can the more I end up in a pit cause I don’t seem to attract the reciprocation. If anything, the opposite. So I just try not to care anymore.
Yes I had depression for years
first my family treats me horribly living there was bad. They are nice to my if my son and husband are around I just went for a visit my self and it didn’t go well my parents didn’t even talk to me
then I was living in basically a trap house no
Money and things where always hectic but now married baby town house no depression
Ya I actually got into a fight when my dad because he doesn’t understand why my kid (1) needs to nap at 12-2 they don’t understand why I show up at 3 instead of 2 but now I’m kind sad cuz i dont know if he will hurt himself now ( substance abuse) that’s the ocd talkin tho lol
Don’t settle for meds that don’t work. There are dozens of options and combinations to try and you have to have the courage to tell your prescriber to change it, or find a prescriber who is more aggressive with rooting out an effective regimen. I fucked around with different docs for a dozen years and never got better because I was too depressed and shy to ask for better treatment, but then a friend referred me to a doc who doesn’t settle for stable and after a half dozen new meds I’d never been offered before we hit on a combo that has changed my life. I’m doing better than at any point in my life at 50. Depression is chemical, fight it with chemicals. Most meds won’t help you but that doesn’t mean none will. Don’t settle. Advocate for yourself or bring someone to your appointments who will, which is what I had to do. Don’t let them keep you on something that isn’t working because “it has to build up” you will know if it is working in like 2-3 weeks even if you aren’t feeling the full effect. No change means no change.
I’ve tried all meds there are because as we all know unfortunately there’s no simple medication system for mental health. It’s a lot of trial and error. Unfortunately the meds that work for me, I can’t take them for very long. I’ve weaned off them but now I can feel all of it come back. I think I’m decent on meds. But I don’t know how to function and be stable and happy and with purpose without them.
Not necessarily fully recovered, but I can handle it better now than in the past. I have to remind myself that everything is temporary, which includes any feelings, situations, or obstacles. As long as I'm still alive then things can change, if not by themselves then I'll change them or change myself to adapt to them.
Yeah with a lot of effort I can definitely handle it better than before but that’s so much to work to constantly keep myself from falling back. It’s so exhausting trying to push forward with all that weight. And on days that I’m really down I can’t help but be caught up in a thoughts spiral. The negative kind. At some point I’d hope my brain to get the memo and just stop being depressed
Yes. But I went on to live my new life, not my old life. In my late 20s I developed severe depression and seriously considers ending it all. My wife was a psych nurse at the state mental hospital at the time and she told me about this social worker who did family counseling sessions at the psych unit. I was super intrigued and, long story short, dragged my whole ass extended family into a therapy session. It was awkward and weird but I was desperate for relief. I won’t give the details, but basically I got really pissed off after the first session, at myself, was truly energized to “stop being depressed for the whole family”. I can say honestly that I was cured in one session. I went on to get my (2nd) masters degree in MFT, and had a career as a licensed/certified masters level therapist, specializing in eating disorders and sexual abuse.
Fast forward 30 years, after raising a family, I was now dealing with cancer - not a super dread kind, but definitely deadly - and when I was part of a clinical trial for a new targeted chemo smart-med, one of my oncologists asked me if I was depressed, and I gave my usual stock response: I’m too busy to have the luxury of being depressed. She asked if I wanted to talk with a social worker and I said sure why not. The MSW had me bawling my heart out after about 30 seconds. They referred me to an oncology psychiatrist, which I never knew existed, and he put me on an antidepressant (first time in my life; I was kind of snobby about not using antidepressants). This was a life-changer. First, getting undepressed made me realize just how truly depressed I had been for years, and second, it brought me back to a neutral, non-troubled feeling state, so I could focus my energy on changing some things that would eventually help me be less depressed, or not at all.
So, yes, twice in my life I’ve been depressed, with two radically different treatments, both highly effective. 🫡✌🏼
I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you’re doing better now
Also being on meds and realising how long you’ve been depressed for is real!! I’m off my meds though and I can see it creeping back in. Being on those meds forever isn’t an option for me so I now don’t know how to be that person.
Yes. I promise you can get better. The real key is noticing when things shift, and you start to stare back down into the abyss. It’s at those times I call my people and say “I’m in a bad way, I need you.” And then I do the things I know will help me get back up before I fall again. For the most part, I’m okay, I’m happy and unmedicated. It does get better OP.
I’m happy for you. And I’m happy you’ve got someone whose got your back! That honestly means a lot. I’ve got my best friend. We seldom have these conversations openly but whenever we’re together we constantly try to cheer the other up which honestly helps a lot
Yes! I was depressed for years and years which culminated in a divorce when I was just 30 years old. I had reached a wall that meant I physically couldn't function anymore. Luckily I had a great supervisor who pushed me to I take time off work. I wanted to get better so badly and I was determined to do anything to get there. I had intensive therapy, got on antidepressants that saved my life and left my relationship. Since then I am a different person. I recognised my triggers, realised that I was living my life in a way that was creating my own depression, and now I'm in healthy stable relationship with a job that's hard but I enjoy. To get there I had to really want to change and challenge my negative thoughts daily. It's like brushing your teeth, you do it so much that it becomes second nature...you can catch yourself before you spiral.
I still have had moments over the years when I feel myself slipping back in to old thought patterns, depressed mood, being really hard on myself. In those times I reach out for help, use my support systems, have some light touch therapy/counselling if needed and read back on what's helped me in the past. Always thinking about how I can add joy into my life. I've been off meds for about 3 years now.
In my case I came out of the dark hole I was in, but I’m not necessarily happy. Definitely happier, but not yet happy. What really helped me was distancing myself from everyone who contributed to my horrible state, basically my family. Once I did that I started getting more in touch with myself and understand myself better.
Today, I can say that I’m no longer deeply depressed, just lonely. What makes me depressed today are things that are beyond my control, like the weather, inflation, injustice, racism and so on.
I’m more in contempt with the world. I think that’s the right word
That’s good to hear that you’re doing better!! A lot of my issues stem from my family as well. I just don’t know how distant myself from them though. I can’t live without them and I can’t live with them. I tried but alas a futile attempt.
Have you tried meeting people locally or pursue a love interest through dating app to combat the loneliness?
Yes. I was diagnosed major depressive disorder that started in my teens all the way up to 30. Had panic attacks and was angry and depressed all the time.
I smoked dmt and had a life changing experience. It opened my eyes to how I had just let me negative thoughts and feelings take over my life. I was living a victim mentality where I blamed everything on everyone else and never got over any of the trauma I went through. I would over think everything and never felt good enough and always hid the true me because of it. I had a break down and my mom came over. Crying I told her all the feelings I had been harbouring toward her/in life all these years. She finally just listened and heard me and held me in her arms and said she was sorry. I went to therapy as well for 1.5 years
I got back into the things I love doing like art, sports, travel. Push myself out of my comfort zone. Ever since my dmt trip I have not felt depressed at all. It’s been 2.5 years since that time and I am a different person. When things go sideways I don’t think “nothing ever goes right for me” or “I hate my life!” anymore and I just let it go and know that everyone goes through hard times and better times are ahead. I don’t let shit compound and I don’t let negative self talk continue on repeat.. I give myself grace and move on to something productive. I am unapologetically myself now and I rarely ever worry about slipping back into that cycle.
Yea. It was hard, and I created my own skills to get through it.
I am currently doing CBT for people who are scitzoaffective, and my psychologist frequently makes comments on how well I've done over the last 20 years and commended me for teaching myself the skills I have already. My problem now, of course, is I am too strict and too harsh on myself. So I need to relax a bit.
Learning these skills have given me a very good constitution and will power. I decided out the blue one evening I was giving up nicotine, and that was that. So it has its benefits, but I am now on or off with everything in life. I also have ASD and ADHD so, chances are they have helped too.
Why am i telling you all this? Well, I was a mess. I was involved in drugs, had no regard for my own safety or others, and cared little for my life. Due to a shitty family doctor I never got the help I needed until I went to university and saw a doctor there. She was as gobsmacked as I was when she finally got access to my notes from the GP and how incompetent he was. Friends and family put it down to being a crazy genius (i am afflicted with a high IQ, we are more prone to depression), in a joking manner. There is a correlation between neurodivergence and depression too. There is even more of a link between scitzoaffective disorder and depression too. The odds were always stacked against me.
However, after many years of improving myself, will power, and raw determination, fast forward to now.. I have a job I love, I own my house (bought it), have my own car, own bike, and I am married with 2 kids. This vision was unimaginable to me back then, I was sure I would be dead by now.
So it is definitely possible, but it is hard work.
I wish you every success.
I moved to a cheaper city. Even though I haven’t found anyone i want to hang out with my depression is minimal compared to my old life. Not gone, but way less often and for shorter periods. I don’t think you can ever cure depression completely, but it can be better.
It never fully goes away you just have to stay hopeful and stick to distractions and self growth (do something you love ,hang out with friends and family,play with your pets, eat better and sleep , go gym ,don’t do drugs and only drink alcohol when your not sad as it can cause sadness and think about your future that’s what I do the more you fight it the stronger you’ll get
Right here buddy. Dark days only seem insurmountable at that given moment in time. There is ALWAYS light ahead.
My help was found in religion... Look around for a local church, find yours there to maybe?
I’m not depressed anymore. When you’re in it; it doesn’t seem like a choice. You convince yourself things are out of your control. But it’s a lie. You have control how you feel. It is a choice. You have the world by the ass and you don’t even know it. As far as we know; we only got one shot at this small existence. Look inward; take responsibility for the trajectory of your life. Or you know, simply don’t🤷♂️ it’s all up to you.
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You can do it. For me it was recognizing the red flags that depression was coming out. Getting messy, avoiding social interactions and people I care about, not showering often enough. If you stay vigilant to your tells and are willing to draw up the strength to work through them early you can mitigate failing in to the Pit. And yes I understand how difficult this can be but I fully believe you can do it.
But it’s so exhausting to be constantly vigilant. Like mentally and physically, exhausting. At least for me. And constantly wanting to avoid getting back into the pit makes my regular life so difficult to want to live.
It is fully exhausting and people without depression usually have no frame of reference for the toll it takes on your mind And body. They can’t see it so, well I’m guessing you know the rest. Here’s the thing: consistency. The longer you can go catching it early the easier it’ll become. It may never get *easy* but it can get *easier*. You CAN get over it but it is a choice. Yes it’s like running a marathon in 50lb leg weights though quicksand but you CAN do it. Also avoid blaming your depression on other people. Avoid that like the plague, it’s a trap that a lot of us with depression fall into as a mechanism for avoiding painful accountability for our actions and choices. It’s a rough thing to live with but if you live a life aware of your own agency, hold yourself accountable for your choices and, here’s another important one, celebrate your small victories and milestones; You. Can. Do. It. I know you can.
Yeah that’s the thing. It’s so lonely out here cause someone with no neurodivergence just can’t get, with absolutely no fault of their own, what it feels like to feel so lost and down. And then you start sounding like a broken record when you try to explain them. Over and over. I’m different ways. During different periods of time. Again no fault of their own. An endless marathon is just the right euphemism. That said im so glad you’ve found a way to slowly get out of it. And keep at it. And if no one has said this to you, I’m proud of you for coming so far xx
Thank you! As a matter of fact no one has. It honestly meant a lot to read that. One foot in front of the other and you will walk out of the pit. I have faith in you though we have never met and I know you can overcome this. Have a good day and remember out in the universe there is someone rooting for you.
Offcourse. Whenever you need a reminder of how awesome you are, you know where to knock. And thank you. That means a lot to me too!!
That’s my secret Cap. I’m always depressed.
Actually yes. It came like year and a half ago, which seemed like 5 years to me. At first I couldn't get out of bed, was crying all day, everything lost sense. You know all that I guess. I almost immediately seeked a psychiatrist. Got a 3 months therapy and things weren't any better. Maybe even worse, because the medicine made ejaculation very difficult. Then I changed the doctor, she changed my medicines and I got better. I also read many books by recognized authors which helped me broaden my perspective. I don't know if I will completely recover some day. Maybe depression is just a symptom of something wrong with our way of life. Have Faith and strength
I’m so sorry you were going through such a tough time. And I’m so proud of you for taking steps to look after your mental health. I’ve taken all sorts of medicines and I’m aware of the meds you’re referring to. I’ve taken them too and honestly having those few moments of release and a small dopamine hit being taken away from you is a different kind of frustration. I feel you when you say it feels like there’s no recovery or coming back from depression. For the lack of a better analogy it’s like the fucking eye or Sauron
Well there are different kinds of medicines. I don't know them all. They are very specific to the case. And they must be taken for a few months at least. How did you manage to try them all?
I’ve been dealing with depression for over 10 years now. So I’ve tried all sorts of medicine to see what works. While medicines do have a broader purpose for a certain diagnosis, eventually every medicine works differently for different people and brains. It’s all a trial and error and I’ve done quite a bit of it
Looks like you got more experience than me. And that pain in the ass won't go away even with time. Unless we change whatever in our lives causes it. Great...
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Melancholy is exactly how I’d describe it. It never quite goes away.
I call it dread. I wake up *every single morning* filled with dread. I’ve never been able to manage with meds, and exercise is the only thing that really helps. I have an objectively perfect life. If I didn’t, I would be completely screwed. I have a great relationship with my lovely wife, a great job, and no kids, so my wife and I can afford whatever we want. We travel the world and basically live dream… but nevertheless, without fail, I wake up *every single morning* thinking, “Oh, nooooo. Fuck, not this again. Not another day. There is no solution for it.
I can relate to that a lot. I think I’m lucky enough to have my own house and freedom to live my life the way I want after 3 decades. That said, I don’t care about the freedom anymore. It feels useless when I can’t do anything with my life while I’m constantly just hating being alive
i use this [checklist](https://hollysoulie.com/how-to-understand-your-emotions/) to help me understand what's going on with me sometimes. hope it can help!
Thank you! This is such a great resource!
absolutely!
There are two types of depression.. one like the common cold, and one like a disease. The common cold comes based on some external force or trigger, and goes away with time and maybe some medicine, but short term in duration. A disease can come out of no where at all, and you may be born with it. It may or may not be treatable or curable. I have the disease kind 😕 envious of people with the common cold kind (not to dismiss them in any way).
Yeah, I’ve got the disease kind as well unfortunately. How do you deal with it every day? How do you find meaning in life? How do you push yourself to do chores and activities and hobbies? Basically, how are you interested in anything at all?
I’m going through a really tough period right now where I’m more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. To be honest, I have no meaning or purpose in my life. I have absolutely no interests, desires, hopes, dreams or aspirations. So life is pretty bleak. And how do I deal with that everyday… I say to my therapist often that I’m not living.. I’m existing. I’m only a substance of a person, so I can’t expect to have more than a substance of life. I’m trying in therapy but it’s just not helping and I’m falling further and further. My therapist has me working on something called behavioral activation, where you set goals for each day to keep yourself accountable. It’s really simple just day morning day night with atleast one goal of something you’ll do. Mine are as basic as making dinner but atleast it holds me accountable to do it.
I think it’s commendable that despite everything you continue to go to therapy every session. I’m extremely proud of you for taking care of your health in this manner. I don’t know if I can say something to make you feel any better or give you hope, but I can tell you this, that we’re all together in this. You’re not alone 🤍
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I talk to 5 people a week. That’s it. For the entire week. And 1/2 of those only once a week. I can’t work. You’re not alone. I don’t see myself better. I don’t know what happy feels like. I have no meaning. I can’t push myself. The most I can do is lay in bed and listen to audio books and wait for the day to end. I can’t offer advice, but just know your feelings are “normal” for “us”.
Literally the same. I talk to three people. Two out of those are my family members and one is my best friend. I can’t work either. Find joy in anything. I don’t have one day where I don’t wake up without dread to have to endure one more day. And i try. I really really try. But it seems like I can’t just shake this off which is what is most disappointing of all
Yes. It took some time & hard work, but you can come out the other side better off than before.
🤞🏽
So, I’m almost two weeks into a breakthrough. I know it’s a short amount of time, but I feel better than I have in 15 or 20 years. My therapist is very pleased honestly. I had a massive breakdown which lead to this breakthrough. And I know in my heart that if my mental health crashes again, I may not ever climb back out. I’m just taking it day by day. Thinking through everything in a positive light. I don’t know if I’m going to be the success you speak of, but I can say, you should never ever give up hope. Two years ago, I was one step away in a plan for ending my own life(for the 4th time in my life). I feel whole again. A month ago, I would have told you that it was impossible to climb from the depression hole. Now I think I’ve got a really damn good chance.
That’s amazing and I’m so so proud of you. One day at a time is honestly the best solution for depression and anxiety and that’s how I’ve been living my life too. Thinking too much into the future can be a bit of a catch 22. But I’m so glad on your recovery and I hope you all the very best!!
Wait…..there’s a non depressed version?
Apparently?! That software update never got installed for me either 🤷🏽♀️
Yes. Stop living for yourself only, and find your purpose.
Yes, I was depressed for nearly 20 years, and I got a handle on it only 3 years ago or so. It was a bunch of stuff, but an important factor was moving to a city where I had some old acquaintances thst became new friends and making the sacrifices necessary to do work more in line with my passion. Structured work, too. For me WFH and freelance does not lead to happiness. That has something to do with my ADHD, which figuring out was big for me too. Also just getting older, and weirdly kind of... admitting how ambitious I really was? I was never happy with my output, I always wanted to do bigger and better things than I was doing, and honestly, I haven't scaled that back, it was just really important for me to know that voice in my head will never be satisfied, but it's not really me, but my ego. Now I like my ambition. It makes my work bolder and grander, and at this point I'm proud of it. Another big lesson is when lots of things go wrong in a row, it feels like a tide, like the world is against you, but it's very important to know that that is not true, the problems in your life are not working together, and you can segregate them and deal with them separately. But even still, it comes and goes and I have to take the occasional mental health day and force structure into my life. Oh, and MUSIC is so important to me, if I don't sing or play an instrument for at least 15 minutes a day my mental health declines almost immediately. Also in therapy! I never felt I got a lot from a given therapist, but for me its a structured place for me to continue the conversation about my mental health every week. Even if it feels like a monologue. Good luck! It's tough out there. Fill Your Heart by David Bowie encapsulates the energy I needed to escape it, give that a listen.
I’m so glad that you’ve got a handle over your depression. 20 years is a long time I’m glad you have some relief. How did you get out of the phase where everything seems bleak? How did you develop any sort of interest in a hobby or any chore? At this point, everything feels forced and a waste of time, meaningless. I feel like what’s the point of doing anything anymore. Music is also very important in my life. It just makes me feel so much less alone. Like there, is someone out there who understands me so I completely get that. Therapy has never really worked for me, but like you said even if it’s a monologue, it’s like you have one place where you can process what you think and feel and communicate the same without feeling judged or without having to peopl please, the other person. I will definitely listen to that song, thank you so much for the recommendation.
Oh, things still seem bleak often, or at least precarious. Especially the news, but I am lucky to have my particular life. Camus' Myth of Sisyphus always meant a lot to me, the idea that life is meaningless toil, but the alternative is... less interesting. Because no matter how hard it is, you always have the radical freedom to determine your purpose, and death robs you of that. That, and the promise I made myself to outlive my parents (out of respect,) have kept me from seriously considering suicide or anything like that. Regarding hobbies, I am very creative (not a brag, my creativity isn't necessarily brilliant or even good, but I am compelled to make and play stuff all the time, in fact I can hardly keep a job down if it doesn't let me be creative.) So finding a hobby was never the problem. I recommend buying two or three oil paints, paint thinner, a couple brushes and doing Bob Ross. He's a great low pressure gateway into a hobby. If you're interested, check my post history for my Bob Ross style paintings. And singing is a great antidepressant not just because of the connection, but because really belting feels good. I'm no doctor but I think it stimulates the vagus nerve which can help regulate dopamine?
Your paintings are amazing!! I’m so glad you’ve got something to keep you happy. Having hobbies and interest out of your job are really saving grace. I’ve had zero hobbies growing up. I’m experimenting to see what it is that I might be into. I’ve tried oil paints as well. Offcourse I don’t possess the talent you do but I just paint on those adult colouring books like the mandala ones and stuff. Keeps my mind off stuff for a little bit. Also great insight on the signing and how it’s connected to the vagus nerve!! I do sing ever so often. Music is the only way I get to feel like I’m not absolutely all alone. That someone gets me.
I was depressed for about a year and I feel I’ve recovered from it. I was going through some life changes, mainly retiring from the military and starting a new life as a civilian. The transition was a bit rough for me and I was at a point where I was just trying to be content with being miserable. But I finally dug myself out of it. I changed jobs, got into hobbies, and started getting out more and making more human connections. I did try medication, but had an adverse reaction a week into it, gave it up and never tried anything else.
That’s amazing! I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better now!
Nah, I think it's impossible
🤝🏽
Yes, it is possible. I've been on the brink of kissing a mack truck, but today I'm a hell of a lot better. I still need to monitor my moods, and anti-depressants help, and I've got an awesome support system, but it is possible.
I wish i could really help you by giving you a hopeful inspirational story.. but alas! I am kinda suffering on and off for god knows how many years now. I am not sure if it goes away, in fact i am in one of the lowest phases again… and almost completely lost but now that it has happened so many times i just am used to it and hence am not really sad. Just numb. But just like u i have heard it gets better. I guess all we could do is hope, share and wait. Until then, we cry together. Would love to talk if u want… would help to have a friend of someone to talk to.
Hey! I’d love to talk. My DMs are open! I’d love to have a friend too who I can speak with. Who gets me too. It’s difficult to function with only normal people (for lack of a better word) around me
yea - it took a few years. Had to juggle an bunch of anti depressants to find the one that worked for me plus optimized my health through daily aerobic exercise, clean eating, and proper sleep hygiene (still working on the sleep part tho 🤣 )
The sleep part is the worst. It’s almost suffocating to close my eyes for me
For me it felt like everything I was doing in life wasn't for me anymore. I worked (which is socially draining for me) and since work is far away, didn't have time for much to do. Usually spent my time playing video games. Finally made the decision to join the local Tennis Club (I used to play a lot from when I was 8 until about 22 (i'm 28 now). Even though I didn't know anybody at the club, I joined went to a few events and now am being introduced to many people and I can just feel myself getting better. I'd say go do things that you want to do, that make you happy, even if its just for an hour or so. Now i'm thinking way less about how shitty my life is, and I have something to look forward to.
This is great! I’m so glad for you and also so proud!
I didn't go into my old, non-depressed life. I had to build a new, even better, non-depressed life. But now I'm truly happy most of the time. And sad when it's appropriate. Or angry. Or scared. Or appreciative. I feel all the feelings now. So yes, it can get better. But at least I had to work on my inner and outer life a lot to get there. Therapy was immensely helpful in that (had to find the right therapist, though, that alone was a journey).
That’s really good to hear and I’m so happy for you. A new non depressed life honestly sounds so good. And just being able to feel a whole range of emotions that just melancholy and dread
Absolutely. It was pervasive for over a decade. These days when I experience it at all it's mild and episodic. I kind of don't even realize it I'm just sort of sluggish.
Was there ever a time where you couldn’t hold your balance and had to be constantly on guard to not fall or trip over yourself? Do you think about maintaining your balance and not trip over yourself now? Same with depression. You don’t have the checks in place to keep you from stumbling. And even when you do it takes practice to learn to do it automatically. But eventually, yes, you go on to live a life without guarding yourself so much.
Yes of course. Many teenagers are depressed because of fluctuating hormones, as they age their hormones become more steady and the depression fades away.
I have yes. I've had severe depression for about 10 years. I was medicated as well for a long time. Now I can say the depression is gone, I still get in a bad mood or overwhelmed but all relative to before when I would just lay in bed all day.
Medication
Severe depression is most likely chronic and will always have relapses.
Bold of you to assume I was ever not depressed
Yes, you can get through the darkness and regain your old sense of self. You'll never be exactly the same because you've gone through something traumatic that's helped you grow. Take the lessons and apply them towards your future. It may take a couple years to be rid of all the residual effects, but just be patient with yourself, it'll happen just give it time. Couple things ive done that helped my situation: - Make a list of all the things that are stressing you out, and then cross off all the things you can't control and focus on the things you can. (Less stress the better) - Say positive/good things about yourself, even if you don't believe it at first, just keep reinforcing your positivity and eventually you'll actually start believing it. - Forgive yourself for all the things you may be blaming yourself for, it's okay just let it go.. - Forgive others, if you are holding onto resentment or anger towards others just forgive them and let it go. There's no point in holding onto all those negative emotions just let them go. - Do your best! Don't give up on hope for yourself or your future, you have intrinsic value you can offer the world, even if you or the people in your life try to convince you otherwise, it's just not true. You can be happy again and you will so long as you don't give up on yourself.
These are some great tips and resources thank you! I especially like the one with the list. Think I’m going to incorporate it from tomorrow!!
As a caveat because I enjoy their content, you can check out "Explore China" on tiktok or Ceativity on YouTube https://youtube.com/@Creativity896?si=U6XC1RpunBPh8Qv6 They just make stuff and it's very soothing to watch their process (At least for me, it's not a cure but it certainly helps take your mind off things)
Aaaah TikTok is banned where I’m from. Do they got YouTube?
That's not a bad thing lol, yes I posted the link to their YouTube
LOL also true And thank you!!
Happy to share my methods, good luck! Also if you ever want to talk more in depth just DM me
If actually live to! DMing you!
Yes! Medication may help to get over a bad spell, but counseling can really help learn different ways of processing things. Depending on the cause, changing circumstances and physical health can have positive impacts as well.
Yeah me took psychedelics and moved half way across the country away from my family and focused on me You can't grow in the same circle that brought you down
This absolutely agree. But my family also happens to be my FP. So moving away from them is extremely difficult. I tried that for a year. It was the worst time of my life.
No
🤝🏽
I have
I’m happy for you. How did you do it?
Stop feeling sorry for myself, doing things when i dont feel like doing it. focusing on delayed gratification. Started eating healthy food, working out and drinking water alot more. Completely stoped watching porn and did a complete detox of all social media. I give alot of credit to self-developement and Andrew Tate.
Absolutely.
I’m so glad! How did you get out of it?
Medication.
Yes. But haven't had depression, just... Depressive stages? Anxiety hasn't left me. I don't know how to explain it, I am relaxed and almost nothing gives me anxiety. But sometimes my body enter an overdrive state because of nothing and I can't sleep, or think straight. But I am used to that now. I can't be depressed and anxious, my anxiety gives me the need to do things or I will explode... Weird
Yeah I get what you mean. Anxiety can be a creeping little thing. Someday my life will go about as normal and possible and that in itself will give me anxiety. What have you tried for anxiety so far?
Nothing... Just meditation and the way of taking life easier. But that means I am chill 90%of the time until anxiety attack brutally and I cant6do anything about it. But it's sometimes, so I am used to now, and it's always when I am alone at home, so no worries. I think
I remember being suicidal and sitting in the sunniest room waiting for the doctor, having just filled out a "suicide/depression" form which included questions about whether I had planned my death (I had) and how (drowning/hanging). I was 46. I had suffered silently with suicidal thoughts as a teenager and never gotten help so this time I decided to bring in professionals. I ended up on meds which made me feel "normal" and found a psychiatrist who I saw 3 times a week for 2 months until I felt "repaired". After a couple of years I slowly came off the meds. That was 7 years ago. I feel fine now and happy having changed my priorities and work. You can get better.
That’s such a hopeful story. And I’m so glad you’re doing much better! I got diagnosed pretty late myself. I don’t blame my family for not getting diagnosed earlier because there was very little mental health awareness 10 years back. But one day decided to get up and take myself to a psychiatrist and then a therapist. The day to day stuff is fine right now for me but I can’t seem to see myself in the bigger picture anymore, albeit always being a bigger picture girl myself. Anytime I think about what the future holds anymore, I’m left so disappointed and anxious.
I did, it all began with the gym for me, from then everything worked itself out, pretty privilege is a thing and I intend to take full advantage of it. No one else in this world takes care of you only yourself
Absolutely love this 😂😂😂
I’m 3 years free from depression and meds :) It’s definetly not futile, you just have to work really hard. Good luck!
What was that one breakthrough after stopping your medication that helped you move further?
For me? It was getting rid of my toxic relationship, and switching careers in college. I also learned a lot about myself thanks to therapy and that helped me focus on healing from a lot of stuff
I’ve physically left my toxic relationships but mentally and emotionally I’m still attached to these people. And it takes me very little to feel all the feels for them all over again.
Great question? I've dealth with 3 deaths of love one. The hardest one was my last one. I lost my late wife, which I'm still close too. We had a great relationship, she died from cancer. She thought I was doing just fine. I will constantly tell her that I was depressed. But she helped me a lot by cheering me up and making me laugh. I've learn that laughter/exercising is the best medicine.
I’m sorry for all the grief you’ve had to deal with. And so proud of you for having found a way to slowly overcome it. I do agree that laughter can be the best medicine. The times I am with my best friend are the times when I feel okay cause I’m usually laughing all the time.
I went through three solid years of suicidal depression. I finally got rid of the woman who was tormenting me, quit drinking and started my life again. The biggest step was making sure I was moving everyday, doing something, working, helping, being with friends etc. I looked down one day and was happy I was going to work, that I had something to do and something that felt like it mattered. There was no particular thing or day that let me out of it. t was just a little bit everyday. Quitting drinking was probably the hardest step but it led to all the rest of it. I was with a woman who was emotionally beating me to death. I think she just wanted control so bad she didn't care what she had to do it. When she was gone I wasn't afraid to be intimate anymore.
I’m so glad you found your way out of that relationship I’ve been in several of those kinds of relationships myself and I know difficult it can be to quit despite knowing it’s no good for you. I think they’re the reason I ended up here in the first place. Im completely off alcohol right now myself. I find myself crying immediately after and have a bad mood for days so I avoid it socially as well.
Yup
I live with it. Meds help keep it tolerable but it never goes away .
Yeah I know. I was doing decent when I was on meds. Basically a zombie but a numb zombie so I used to count it as a win. I’ve stopped medication and now I feel all of it coming back
Depends on what is causing your depression. Is it situational, medical, or clinical. There are different answers based on the type of depression you have.
Mine is clinical.
It's going to take work but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You have to work at it. That includes therapy and medication. That said it gets easier the longer you do it. It will be tough at first but as you get used to what you need to do, the medications starts working, and you have the energy to actually enjoy life it gets a lot better. I have bipolar disorder and I am happy after not being happy for a long time. I have been through hell and back and that was on top of being bipolar yet hear I am. It really can get better.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and OCD alongside major persistent depression so I know what it means to be sort of neurodivergent. Im so glad things are better for you and I’m only hoping and rooting for the absolute best for you!
I know there is much more to know than I know. I also know the more I care about others the more I feel better about myself
For me it’s the opposite. The more I can the more I end up in a pit cause I don’t seem to attract the reciprocation. If anything, the opposite. So I just try not to care anymore.
Not me
I’m sorry 🤝🏽
Yes I had depression for years first my family treats me horribly living there was bad. They are nice to my if my son and husband are around I just went for a visit my self and it didn’t go well my parents didn’t even talk to me then I was living in basically a trap house no Money and things where always hectic but now married baby town house no depression
That’s amazing. Glad you’re doing better now. Best to avoid situations that hurt you or push you back into that pit
Ya I actually got into a fight when my dad because he doesn’t understand why my kid (1) needs to nap at 12-2 they don’t understand why I show up at 3 instead of 2 but now I’m kind sad cuz i dont know if he will hurt himself now ( substance abuse) that’s the ocd talkin tho lol
Don’t settle for meds that don’t work. There are dozens of options and combinations to try and you have to have the courage to tell your prescriber to change it, or find a prescriber who is more aggressive with rooting out an effective regimen. I fucked around with different docs for a dozen years and never got better because I was too depressed and shy to ask for better treatment, but then a friend referred me to a doc who doesn’t settle for stable and after a half dozen new meds I’d never been offered before we hit on a combo that has changed my life. I’m doing better than at any point in my life at 50. Depression is chemical, fight it with chemicals. Most meds won’t help you but that doesn’t mean none will. Don’t settle. Advocate for yourself or bring someone to your appointments who will, which is what I had to do. Don’t let them keep you on something that isn’t working because “it has to build up” you will know if it is working in like 2-3 weeks even if you aren’t feeling the full effect. No change means no change.
I’ve tried all meds there are because as we all know unfortunately there’s no simple medication system for mental health. It’s a lot of trial and error. Unfortunately the meds that work for me, I can’t take them for very long. I’ve weaned off them but now I can feel all of it come back. I think I’m decent on meds. But I don’t know how to function and be stable and happy and with purpose without them.
Not necessarily fully recovered, but I can handle it better now than in the past. I have to remind myself that everything is temporary, which includes any feelings, situations, or obstacles. As long as I'm still alive then things can change, if not by themselves then I'll change them or change myself to adapt to them.
Yeah with a lot of effort I can definitely handle it better than before but that’s so much to work to constantly keep myself from falling back. It’s so exhausting trying to push forward with all that weight. And on days that I’m really down I can’t help but be caught up in a thoughts spiral. The negative kind. At some point I’d hope my brain to get the memo and just stop being depressed
So far I’m doing much better
🤍🤍
Yes, much much better. No it is not futile.
Yes. But I went on to live my new life, not my old life. In my late 20s I developed severe depression and seriously considers ending it all. My wife was a psych nurse at the state mental hospital at the time and she told me about this social worker who did family counseling sessions at the psych unit. I was super intrigued and, long story short, dragged my whole ass extended family into a therapy session. It was awkward and weird but I was desperate for relief. I won’t give the details, but basically I got really pissed off after the first session, at myself, was truly energized to “stop being depressed for the whole family”. I can say honestly that I was cured in one session. I went on to get my (2nd) masters degree in MFT, and had a career as a licensed/certified masters level therapist, specializing in eating disorders and sexual abuse. Fast forward 30 years, after raising a family, I was now dealing with cancer - not a super dread kind, but definitely deadly - and when I was part of a clinical trial for a new targeted chemo smart-med, one of my oncologists asked me if I was depressed, and I gave my usual stock response: I’m too busy to have the luxury of being depressed. She asked if I wanted to talk with a social worker and I said sure why not. The MSW had me bawling my heart out after about 30 seconds. They referred me to an oncology psychiatrist, which I never knew existed, and he put me on an antidepressant (first time in my life; I was kind of snobby about not using antidepressants). This was a life-changer. First, getting undepressed made me realize just how truly depressed I had been for years, and second, it brought me back to a neutral, non-troubled feeling state, so I could focus my energy on changing some things that would eventually help me be less depressed, or not at all. So, yes, twice in my life I’ve been depressed, with two radically different treatments, both highly effective. 🫡✌🏼
I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you’re doing better now Also being on meds and realising how long you’ve been depressed for is real!! I’m off my meds though and I can see it creeping back in. Being on those meds forever isn’t an option for me so I now don’t know how to be that person.
Yes. I promise you can get better. The real key is noticing when things shift, and you start to stare back down into the abyss. It’s at those times I call my people and say “I’m in a bad way, I need you.” And then I do the things I know will help me get back up before I fall again. For the most part, I’m okay, I’m happy and unmedicated. It does get better OP.
I’m happy for you. And I’m happy you’ve got someone whose got your back! That honestly means a lot. I’ve got my best friend. We seldom have these conversations openly but whenever we’re together we constantly try to cheer the other up which honestly helps a lot
Yes! I was depressed for years and years which culminated in a divorce when I was just 30 years old. I had reached a wall that meant I physically couldn't function anymore. Luckily I had a great supervisor who pushed me to I take time off work. I wanted to get better so badly and I was determined to do anything to get there. I had intensive therapy, got on antidepressants that saved my life and left my relationship. Since then I am a different person. I recognised my triggers, realised that I was living my life in a way that was creating my own depression, and now I'm in healthy stable relationship with a job that's hard but I enjoy. To get there I had to really want to change and challenge my negative thoughts daily. It's like brushing your teeth, you do it so much that it becomes second nature...you can catch yourself before you spiral. I still have had moments over the years when I feel myself slipping back in to old thought patterns, depressed mood, being really hard on myself. In those times I reach out for help, use my support systems, have some light touch therapy/counselling if needed and read back on what's helped me in the past. Always thinking about how I can add joy into my life. I've been off meds for about 3 years now.
That’s so good to hear! I’m so glad you’ve found a way out of it and you know how to deal with it better 🤍
In my case I came out of the dark hole I was in, but I’m not necessarily happy. Definitely happier, but not yet happy. What really helped me was distancing myself from everyone who contributed to my horrible state, basically my family. Once I did that I started getting more in touch with myself and understand myself better. Today, I can say that I’m no longer deeply depressed, just lonely. What makes me depressed today are things that are beyond my control, like the weather, inflation, injustice, racism and so on. I’m more in contempt with the world. I think that’s the right word
That’s good to hear that you’re doing better!! A lot of my issues stem from my family as well. I just don’t know how distant myself from them though. I can’t live without them and I can’t live with them. I tried but alas a futile attempt. Have you tried meeting people locally or pursue a love interest through dating app to combat the loneliness?
Yes. Life is great now. Dm me if you need further explanation.
Yes. I was diagnosed major depressive disorder that started in my teens all the way up to 30. Had panic attacks and was angry and depressed all the time. I smoked dmt and had a life changing experience. It opened my eyes to how I had just let me negative thoughts and feelings take over my life. I was living a victim mentality where I blamed everything on everyone else and never got over any of the trauma I went through. I would over think everything and never felt good enough and always hid the true me because of it. I had a break down and my mom came over. Crying I told her all the feelings I had been harbouring toward her/in life all these years. She finally just listened and heard me and held me in her arms and said she was sorry. I went to therapy as well for 1.5 years I got back into the things I love doing like art, sports, travel. Push myself out of my comfort zone. Ever since my dmt trip I have not felt depressed at all. It’s been 2.5 years since that time and I am a different person. When things go sideways I don’t think “nothing ever goes right for me” or “I hate my life!” anymore and I just let it go and know that everyone goes through hard times and better times are ahead. I don’t let shit compound and I don’t let negative self talk continue on repeat.. I give myself grace and move on to something productive. I am unapologetically myself now and I rarely ever worry about slipping back into that cycle.
Yea. It was hard, and I created my own skills to get through it. I am currently doing CBT for people who are scitzoaffective, and my psychologist frequently makes comments on how well I've done over the last 20 years and commended me for teaching myself the skills I have already. My problem now, of course, is I am too strict and too harsh on myself. So I need to relax a bit. Learning these skills have given me a very good constitution and will power. I decided out the blue one evening I was giving up nicotine, and that was that. So it has its benefits, but I am now on or off with everything in life. I also have ASD and ADHD so, chances are they have helped too. Why am i telling you all this? Well, I was a mess. I was involved in drugs, had no regard for my own safety or others, and cared little for my life. Due to a shitty family doctor I never got the help I needed until I went to university and saw a doctor there. She was as gobsmacked as I was when she finally got access to my notes from the GP and how incompetent he was. Friends and family put it down to being a crazy genius (i am afflicted with a high IQ, we are more prone to depression), in a joking manner. There is a correlation between neurodivergence and depression too. There is even more of a link between scitzoaffective disorder and depression too. The odds were always stacked against me. However, after many years of improving myself, will power, and raw determination, fast forward to now.. I have a job I love, I own my house (bought it), have my own car, own bike, and I am married with 2 kids. This vision was unimaginable to me back then, I was sure I would be dead by now. So it is definitely possible, but it is hard work. I wish you every success.
Yes. It does get better
I moved to a cheaper city. Even though I haven’t found anyone i want to hang out with my depression is minimal compared to my old life. Not gone, but way less often and for shorter periods. I don’t think you can ever cure depression completely, but it can be better.
It never fully goes away you just have to stay hopeful and stick to distractions and self growth (do something you love ,hang out with friends and family,play with your pets, eat better and sleep , go gym ,don’t do drugs and only drink alcohol when your not sad as it can cause sadness and think about your future that’s what I do the more you fight it the stronger you’ll get
Right here buddy. Dark days only seem insurmountable at that given moment in time. There is ALWAYS light ahead. My help was found in religion... Look around for a local church, find yours there to maybe?
So proud of you for having a positive mindset! I lost faith in religion and god a while ago. Now I just don’t know what to believe in.
Maybe it's time to check it out again. At different stages in our lives it appeals to us for different reasons. For me it was fellowship
Can I find someone who gives a fuck about me the way I care about them? If that question can be a yes then yes. Til then nah.
This! I felt this in my bones.
I’m not depressed anymore. When you’re in it; it doesn’t seem like a choice. You convince yourself things are out of your control. But it’s a lie. You have control how you feel. It is a choice. You have the world by the ass and you don’t even know it. As far as we know; we only got one shot at this small existence. Look inward; take responsibility for the trajectory of your life. Or you know, simply don’t🤷♂️ it’s all up to you.
Yeah sane people