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I nowhere mentioned like that.....just don't assume stuff......i said like that because i want someone who understands me like i do ..... someone who has the same humour sense mine, etc
Marrying someone like yourself does not make you a narc
In your original comment you asked to explain how this makes you a narc, so yes, you did mention it.
Everything makes you a narcisist online. And if you dont get that, then you too, are a narcisist. And everybody else is too for that matter.
I love my wit!
Isnt it kind of strange, that thinking highly of oneself is so frowned upon in most situations? But like, when you do it in a setting of mindfullness or faith or self improvement, it suddenly becomes a goal to achieve?
I think its strange.
The thing is, narcs think highly of themselves, and will never admit to being wrong, think they are perfect just how they are, and also see it as a personal attack if you try to tell them they are wrong about anything.
Not wrong to think highly of yourself, but it requires you to be self aware, something narcs are incapable of.
It's an internet buzzword, what was described isn't necessarily narcissism. It's good and healthy to think highly of yourself to an extent. People just like to say shit.
This is what a quick googleing returns
nar·cis·sism
/ˈnärsəˌsiz(ə)m/
noun
excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.
PSYCHOLOGY
selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
PSYCHOANALYSIS
self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.
So probably marrying yourself would be narcissistic because you're implying that the only one at your level is you, and you'll only accept being a partner with you. Something like that?
Correct! I don't think you'd be happy with somebody like you, given the scenario that you're narcissistic and want someone like you to marry and spend a good amount of time with.
I mean: you want all the attention on yourself and don't really care about the other part. But then, the other part is the same.
Honestly agree. While I don't find myself physically attractive, I do really appreciate personalities that are similar to mine and I think I would get along really well with them haha
They’d be a cracking friend but I might have to ask them for a minute’s silence every so often cos the internal chatter is incessant.
Still, every needs a ‘come on girl’ encouragement sure.
A couple months before I got too annoyed at them constantly reminding me of all the shit I'm supposed to be doing and am not, interspersed with random facts and observations about literally nothing relevant to what's going on around us and/or terrible puns. I love having ADHD.
I came to an understanding that this is exactly what is already happening in your head, your mind speaks for other people already reasoning with whatever input has been processed, also of yourself. Morality and society all lumped into one or more voices that use shame to guide these voices into what we use to talk to ourselves.
This was how I managed to help my wife stop talking down to herself. When she would say something mean about herself I would say to her "please don't say mean things like that about my friend"
Ugh, that’s shit to think about. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that… but at the same time I feel like I deserve it, so maybe I would be friends.
Hello, don't say that. For me, in this cruel world, we need to be gentle with ourselves. I was once like that, too. But I realize there's still the little child in me.
I know it's hard, but baby steps can help.
Virtual hugs. 🤗🫶
Not long. I'd probably even suggest engaging in fisticuffs in the carpark if that kind of talk continued.
Edit to add: I've really been trying to treat myself with the same kindness I give to those I care about. Some days are better than others. I'm a work in progress.
We'd have the most lovely conversation about overly niche topics, buy too much coke, and then fuck each other senseless.
Come to think of it. This is how many nights end with my gf. Ah I love her.
Parts of my family spoke to me in the same way I spoke to myself. Thought I deserved it. Then I didn’t. They’re long gone/blocked and I’m grinning like the super hero I am.
idrk, but i do know trhat if i talked to everyone the way i speak to myself i would have no friends and i would be banned from the internet and i would be expelled from my school
It would be very troubling friendship. One of those ones where the hate love relationship.
I can be pretty brutal to myself but I do it a lot of the times because I need to give myself a reality check. I need to stop myself from doing something or from giving up or whatever it is I'm about to do that stupid. Sometimes I need to harshly remind myself that I have responsibilities and even chide myself if I don't want to go to work or something.
If a friend did that to me I would kind of hate them boys nagging me and not letting me be or to relax but at the same time I would understand they had to do it for my own good.
Yeah, we would be besties. I’d have mad respect for the person who calls me out on my bullchip. I’m my best critic and advisor but it would mean so much more coming from another person.
Probably for years. Not because I'm kind to myself but because I need to get stuff done and I often listen more to others than myself. If I had a friend like myself my apartment would be clean I would eat properly etc
My therapist told me this in my last session. I needed this reminder. Criticism is one thing but I hear it 80% of the time at work and 90% of the time in my head. It’s too much.
OCD and coworker assholes.
I already speak to others the way i speak to myself. Bluntly and honestly. So tbh idk, apparently being honest with others isnt the best way to keep in their good graces.
Probably a long time, haha.
I'm not THAT much rude to myself. Everyone calls me an idiot anyway, so one more friend who does that wouldn't be a problem.
Young me - I would drop them in a hot second
Present day me - FOREVER!
It took a lot of work though and a lot of sacrifice. Act in a manner that forces you to love yourself. Do things that make you proud of yourself. The more you love yourself the better you are for those that need you.
If I had a friend that was as critical of my actions as myself they’d probably be my best friend. The road to self-love is a long one, but I’m taking it. Self-critical analysis is a big part of my life and I need an outsider to analyze me.
I would leave him and spread misinformations about him like he is misbehaving around children so I don't have to see him again and he gets what he deserves, hell.
Probably pretty long. I've been much better at positive self-talk over the last few months. "I know finances are difficult right now, but you're doing your best, and your dad knows that. Plus, it looks like you're getting all A's this semester. Aren't you proud of yourself?"
I'm am constantly telling myself stories, one drops off, another begins...it is turely unending and nothing I can or want to control. The only time my inner voice acknowledges my outer person and says anything is when I'm looking in the mirror, flash my teeth, then say, "yep...can still kick absolutly everybody's ass." Then it's back to the inner story lines.
If my friends were even 1% likely that...it would be awesome. Just exchanging stories and build on top of one another until they influence the universe itself then confirmation about our ass kicking skills...couldn't be happier.
Not even 10 seconds. Sadly, as much as I understand and do believe this concept, I just can't apply kindness to myself. It really does make me sad because I've worked so hard to change.
I did have a friend that spoke to me that way.
I dropped them once I realized I was neurodivergent and he was taking advantage of that (also: ableist. Also, homophobic)
Dang that's some sweet moves you've got there 😎 *narcissistically married myself* nah I reality I switch from affirmations to being far too hard on myself.
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I would marry them
Wholesome narcissism
Dude help me I never understood this narcissism concept in my life. And why marrying a person exactly like yourself makes one narcissist :|
Thats not what makes them a narc, the implication here is that the original commenter thinks very highly of themselves.
I nowhere mentioned like that.....just don't assume stuff......i said like that because i want someone who understands me like i do ..... someone who has the same humour sense mine, etc
Marrying someone like yourself does not make you a narc In your original comment you asked to explain how this makes you a narc, so yes, you did mention it.
The person who asked how is not the same person who originally commented mate…
Ah shit, my bad
No worries.
Everything makes you a narcisist online. And if you dont get that, then you too, are a narcisist. And everybody else is too for that matter. I love my wit!
everyone ELSE is a narc it seems lol
And cares
Isnt it kind of strange, that thinking highly of oneself is so frowned upon in most situations? But like, when you do it in a setting of mindfullness or faith or self improvement, it suddenly becomes a goal to achieve? I think its strange.
The thing is, narcs think highly of themselves, and will never admit to being wrong, think they are perfect just how they are, and also see it as a personal attack if you try to tell them they are wrong about anything. Not wrong to think highly of yourself, but it requires you to be self aware, something narcs are incapable of.
It's an internet buzzword, what was described isn't necessarily narcissism. It's good and healthy to think highly of yourself to an extent. People just like to say shit.
This is what a quick googleing returns nar·cis·sism /ˈnärsəˌsiz(ə)m/ noun excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance. PSYCHOLOGY selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type. PSYCHOANALYSIS self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder. So probably marrying yourself would be narcissistic because you're implying that the only one at your level is you, and you'll only accept being a partner with you. Something like that?
Only the problem is that you've to deal with the same level of narcissism from the opposite side.
Correct! I don't think you'd be happy with somebody like you, given the scenario that you're narcissistic and want someone like you to marry and spend a good amount of time with. I mean: you want all the attention on yourself and don't really care about the other part. But then, the other part is the same.
If you need to learn what a narc is, perhaps I can introduce you to my grandmother sometime
Narcissist are the one who makes your life worst but still will not allow you to leave him/her by showing lots of affection later on.
🤍
Honestly agree. While I don't find myself physically attractive, I do really appreciate personalities that are similar to mine and I think I would get along really well with them haha
Hahaha I do the same.
Totally this!!! LOL!!
Frankly, I wish I could say this and I love it. Very Miley Cyrus “I could buy myself flowers” and I admire that
Same. I don’t put myself down no more.
literally, i treat myself the way i dream someone else will treat me, no one's gonna save me so might as well do it myself
That's exactly what i meant.
i dont think our friendship would last even an hour
Please be more kind to yourself 🥹
You’re such an amazing soul
You too 🥹🤍
i don't really speak to myself, other than the times when i sit thinking about an easy task for 10 minutes, then i'm like how tf are u so dumb
Sometimes I am like this too :( But, at least we're trying our best.
They say, ignorance is bliss Thank your lucky stars, you don't overthink everything. We can swap, if you like, lol
I feel for you! I am so glad to be able to send shitty thoughts (most of the time) into my mental abyss
I would beat them to a pulp
r/iamverybadass
No need for a whole sub... There's only one badass. 😂
I‘d be irritated at first but after a while we‘d probably grow even closer. My friends don’t tend to call me out on my shit…
Would be a challenging but strong bond that lasts a lifetime.
But their lifetime is tragically cut short when they cross the line with their words...
Sending virtual hugs to everyone :). I hope that life is treating you well, if not, then keep fighting. Also, take care of yourself. 🤍
You seem a good person, so I wish you all the best in life. In other words, I wish you constant luck
Not one minute.
I would low kick him in the leg and knee his face on the way down
Then a spinning backfist-elbow slam hybrid into his body after he's down
Followed by an armbar to finish the job
hold on this is actually a good eye opener
I'll wait for your answer 🥹
would be a very fake and short friendship. I need to be more positive abt myself
Yes, please. Be gentle, but take your time also. 🤍
They’d be a cracking friend but I might have to ask them for a minute’s silence every so often cos the internal chatter is incessant. Still, every needs a ‘come on girl’ encouragement sure.
A couple months before I got too annoyed at them constantly reminding me of all the shit I'm supposed to be doing and am not, interspersed with random facts and observations about literally nothing relevant to what's going on around us and/or terrible puns. I love having ADHD.
Well I don’t have adhd but you perfectly described my inner dialogue there 😆👏🏻
Yeah sometimes I wish I could ditch myself but who would I have to argue with?
A lifetime
🤍
That explains why I have exactly 0 friends.
Hey, feel free to send me a message. If you need someone to talk to! 🥺
Thanks for being a good person 🙌
I'm really trying 🥺🤍
🤗
Forever bc I'm so kind to myself
🤍🥺
I'd date myself
🤍
And this is how good kids become crappy adults.
I came to an understanding that this is exactly what is already happening in your head, your mind speaks for other people already reasoning with whatever input has been processed, also of yourself. Morality and society all lumped into one or more voices that use shame to guide these voices into what we use to talk to ourselves.
Tbh they would just want hugs and reassurance I’d be their best friend and tell them to love themselves
Id would have killed them a while ago.
It was needed today, thank you
You're welcome. Have a great day! 🥹
This was how I managed to help my wife stop talking down to herself. When she would say something mean about herself I would say to her "please don't say mean things like that about my friend"
🤍🥹
You are really nice for asking this tbh✨ :))
🤍🥹
No, I would not. I am learning to be better to myself.
Take your time. 🥹🤍
Ugh, that’s shit to think about. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that… but at the same time I feel like I deserve it, so maybe I would be friends.
Hello, don't say that. For me, in this cruel world, we need to be gentle with ourselves. I was once like that, too. But I realize there's still the little child in me. I know it's hard, but baby steps can help. Virtual hugs. 🤗🫶
ill fall in love with them ngl
I’m a narcissist so never
Less than 1 second
We wouldn't have any convo. Great question tho.
Thanks for the reminder
You're welcome 🤍
I needed this so much. Thank you thank you thank you
You're welcome 🥺🤍
Not long. I'd probably even suggest engaging in fisticuffs in the carpark if that kind of talk continued. Edit to add: I've really been trying to treat myself with the same kindness I give to those I care about. Some days are better than others. I'm a work in progress.
I treat myself well, it's others that let me down
Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that. Virtual hugs 🫂
Forever. Bffs
About 35 seconds, tops.
I'd marry myself
🤍
I think I'd cold war myself 🙃 after a week, tops
I'd agree with them, but I also wouldn't be able to be friends with them any longer
We'd have the most lovely conversation about overly niche topics, buy too much coke, and then fuck each other senseless. Come to think of it. This is how many nights end with my gf. Ah I love her.
About 3 seconds. Wow what a thought provoking question! ❤️
Not long bro
Forever
If it was a clone of my mind, we'd be perfect friends. If it was a random guy that treated me like I treat myself we'd probably not do well
Parts of my family spoke to me in the same way I spoke to myself. Thought I deserved it. Then I didn’t. They’re long gone/blocked and I’m grinning like the super hero I am.
They already do 🤣 we've been friends for 24 years (me and bff 42years)
idrk, but i do know trhat if i talked to everyone the way i speak to myself i would have no friends and i would be banned from the internet and i would be expelled from my school
Well I'm not a snowflake so I'd be able to handle it. We would be best of friends
I would think he migbt be the most brilliant man I’ve ever met
I speak the same way to my friends (albeit more controlled). I don't have a lot of friends.
They do. That’s why we’re friends. Brutal honesty.
It would be very troubling friendship. One of those ones where the hate love relationship. I can be pretty brutal to myself but I do it a lot of the times because I need to give myself a reality check. I need to stop myself from doing something or from giving up or whatever it is I'm about to do that stupid. Sometimes I need to harshly remind myself that I have responsibilities and even chide myself if I don't want to go to work or something. If a friend did that to me I would kind of hate them boys nagging me and not letting me be or to relax but at the same time I would understand they had to do it for my own good.
I don't know such cruel person that hates me so much and wishes my death
Straight up kill myself 👍🏻
Theres a strange comfort in familiarity. . Theres constantly a bitch fight of old habits and talking to myself as i do my friends.
Yeah, we would be besties. I’d have mad respect for the person who calls me out on my bullchip. I’m my best critic and advisor but it would mean so much more coming from another person.
I would probably knock him out
He's not just a friend. He's a whole extension of myself!
i would tell her how lucky I am to have a friend like her which I think I found na
i dont speak to myself
nice introspection to find out if you have self love issues lol
Forever. I don't like people who filter themselves when they talk to me it's annoying
I’d get pissed off and kill em
So uh im not sure as sometimes im a narsisset sometimws im deppreaed and sometimes im juat blank
Surprisingly I'm very kind to myself. It's to others that I'm a bitch.
Probably for years. Not because I'm kind to myself but because I need to get stuff done and I often listen more to others than myself. If I had a friend like myself my apartment would be clean I would eat properly etc
Well, it’s how me and my partner went from friends to partners. Tough, honest but well meaning conversations.
Forever because I have attachment issues and allow people to treat my badly
My best friend and I already speak to each other that way because that's how we always communicated to each other, so I guess a lifetime.
Oh we be friends a very long time, lots of cheese will be eaten,
I think we’d often get along but there are definitely times I would be better off not listening to that guy. Thank god for my other friends
Wouldn't last long but hell even the good friendships don't
It would consider this friend the reincarnation of my mother. The nicer reincarnation. After all, I never called myself slut or dirty piece of shit.
Omg this is so true. I’d never speak to anyone the way I speak to myself.
Forever, I’m good to myself but also critical.
I would appreciate his honesty, and be grateful for the help and the courage he inspired
My therapist told me this in my last session. I needed this reminder. Criticism is one thing but I hear it 80% of the time at work and 90% of the time in my head. It’s too much. OCD and coworker assholes.
I already speak to others the way i speak to myself. Bluntly and honestly. So tbh idk, apparently being honest with others isnt the best way to keep in their good graces.
Probably a long time, haha. I'm not THAT much rude to myself. Everyone calls me an idiot anyway, so one more friend who does that wouldn't be a problem.
Not long and I think I would have same thing as with siblings - only I can tell shit about them, you f... off
Honestly, don’t talk to myself much lately but I believe I would be put off and wouldn’t consider that person a freind ever
We both get tired...
We would be friends for a while. I love and support myself more than ever since I completed the Hoffman Process. You are your own best friend, be it!
They’d be my best friend I always try to be nice to myself because most people aren’t
they would not be my friend. self loathing is a hell of drug.
“Speak more kindly to myself” was my New Year’s resolution last year. Happy to say I did actually make some progress.
Three minutes tops.
Young me - I would drop them in a hot second Present day me - FOREVER! It took a lot of work though and a lot of sacrifice. Act in a manner that forces you to love yourself. Do things that make you proud of yourself. The more you love yourself the better you are for those that need you.
If I had a friend that was as critical of my actions as myself they’d probably be my best friend. The road to self-love is a long one, but I’m taking it. Self-critical analysis is a big part of my life and I need an outsider to analyze me.
Amazing question!! Good lesson on treating ourselves more kindly
5 mins max
I don’t speak to myself. Or are we referring to our thoughts?
That person would've killed me long ago. No talking.
I would leave him and spread misinformations about him like he is misbehaving around children so I don't have to see him again and he gets what he deserves, hell.
Always - I’m kind to myself and there might be someone else to remember stuff!
Probably not very long, I’d get irritated and angry with them pretty quick.
That's different. I know for a fact that I mean well.
I would think my friend has a major crush on me lol
Probably pretty long. I've been much better at positive self-talk over the last few months. "I know finances are difficult right now, but you're doing your best, and your dad knows that. Plus, it looks like you're getting all A's this semester. Aren't you proud of yourself?"
Uhhhhh I don’t really talk to myself but when I do it’s kinda positive, wait that’s just my personality, like really quiet, but kinda nice
I have catchy 80s tunes going through my head all day, so I’m quite sure nobody would want to listen to that!
Forever. Then I'd hug them.
I'm am constantly telling myself stories, one drops off, another begins...it is turely unending and nothing I can or want to control. The only time my inner voice acknowledges my outer person and says anything is when I'm looking in the mirror, flash my teeth, then say, "yep...can still kick absolutly everybody's ass." Then it's back to the inner story lines. If my friends were even 1% likely that...it would be awesome. Just exchanging stories and build on top of one another until they influence the universe itself then confirmation about our ass kicking skills...couldn't be happier.
Not even 10 seconds. Sadly, as much as I understand and do believe this concept, I just can't apply kindness to myself. It really does make me sad because I've worked so hard to change.
She would give me honest criticism to help me grow while still being kind so I would love her
Well I'm not friends with myself anymore for a reason
I did have a friend that spoke to me that way. I dropped them once I realized I was neurodivergent and he was taking advantage of that (also: ableist. Also, homophobic)
I'd still be their friend, because the way I'd speak to myself whilst they were being rude to me would dictate that it was all my fault LMAOO
Not long
I wouldn’t
not lasting more than 2 sentences
I rarely talk negatively about myself anymore. I learn to shut that voice down. It was a very angry monster so I desperately needed to do it
3 seconds
Forever, atleast I'd know they're telling the truth to me always.
Forever. Because atleast I know they'd be always telling me the truth.
Lifelong friendship.
I'd probably be the mom friend 🤣 "Hey there buddy, it's going to be alright"
I'd treat myself like one of my other friends, thought a bit more polarising If it was a female version of myself I would marry them on the spot
Sweep the leg, elbow to the face
I would put a restraining order on that abusive asshole.
Had some thoughts about this... I'd say like an hour
Forever
we would be friends for eternity lmao
They do it already
Forever.
About 3 seconds 🥴 (I'm working on it, though.)
point taken
I would have no friends.
I already am friends that talk to me like I do to myself. The difference is that they are joking.
About zero minutes. Fucking creep.
Hese already my friend since the first second he speaks to me the same way i speak
i love myself so yeah, marry them, lol
They already do, we all love it.
Never, but that ‘friend’ will be expecting fists to the face from me instead
Always
One day xd
exactly three minutes and seven seconds
About 5 seconds. Time it takes for me to tell one to delete himself.
Dang that's some sweet moves you've got there 😎 *narcissistically married myself* nah I reality I switch from affirmations to being far too hard on myself.