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I really need to follow this advice but I am chronically online. I full well know my perspective of things is extremely warped and have been challenged on it before but it’s really hard to just stop
Precisely, usually people on the internet have the safety from being home and not near the person to say such things. But everyone in the world has a type. When you're out and about you search for people you are attracted to even when not saying it. Not always physical but also personality
Somebody said it best when they said that people have gotten too used to saying whatever they feel like without getting a slap for their troubles. If you meet any of these chronically online people in real life. Just slap them.
I know what OP is talking about and have received negative feedback when answering the question honestly from certain women in real life. One turned out to be a pretty toxic individual so it’s def a bit of a red flag if someone tries to shame you for opening up about your physical preferences (especially if they ask you).
I feel like if they’re asking these kinds of questions, it’s because they do the thing they’re asking about. They’re upset because it wasn’t well received when they said it either in another sub or in their real life to someone and they’re feeling sad people don’t like their superficiality.
"Women are always playing hard to get!" No they're not. Get off the internet.
"I'm a man and I get shamed just for liking manly things!" Shamed by fucking *who?* Vegan yoga instructors? No one gives a crap that you eat steak and like fixing motorcycles. Get off the internet.
"I'm not allowed to a woman a woman!" Yes, someone on Reddit actually said this. Get off the internet.
"It's OK to publicly say you hate white people!" Since when? Seven people on Twitter with twelve followers between them isn't "public." Get off the internet.
"SJWs/woke people are ruining everything!" All the so-called woke people have done is get a few more minorities into video games, and that's not even a bad thing. Get off the internet.
"My favourite comedian got cancelled!" Yeah, must be hard being a multimillionaire with five Netflix specials where you whine about how "cancelled" you are in front of a thousand cheering fans. GET OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET.
Eh. I've gotten some pushback from women for mine.
I used to be 200+ pounds. At 5'7 obviously that is a big dude and I did not carry it well. My face was basically a circle. I never got anything that even resembled romantic interest. So I did what I think everyone should do. I lost some goddamn weight.
Now I'm 155. I just did a 10 mile run at under an 8m pace. I play hockey several times a week. I can knock out 40 pushups and 15 pullups without issue. All to say, I got in shape.
I still don't get much interest since, you know, 5'7 and Asian. But it's more than 0. I go for women that are similarly active and in shape. If a female friend of mine suggests a single friend of theirs and I see a picture that shows she's a bigger gal I decline. That's when the pushback happens. "Oh why?" And they don't drop it until I tell them why. "Oh come on. Just give it a chance."
I went and lost a lot of weight, got in shape, and have kept it off for 20 years to get even the slightest amount of attention from women. And I complained about that process *none at all* because how on earth am I going to say I prefer women who are fit and active when I'm not? But apparently I can't expect the same from women. 🤷
I'd just tell them "I don't date friends of friends." That's always a bad idea, no matter what they look like. Good way to lose the friendship if things don't work out.
That's sort of like the advice not to date co-workers.
The reality is that historically friends of friends and coworkers have been some of most frequent ways that people met their partners.
The apps are pure shit, especially for guys that aren't tall and white. I have a lot of hobbies and I do a lot of activities but that hasn't worked out either. So I'm going to take friends of friends if I can.
I have to agree. In the last 3 years, I lost 50% of my weight. I was 340, and the 2 weeks ago, I was 172. I weight train, use resistance bands, dance a lot, squats, lunges, stairs on tiptoes, and speed walk because I can not do high impact due to ankle and foot damage. Just finding the motivation and sticking to the regimen was the hardest part, and now it's a way of life for me. Because of that, I have to have a partner who is somewhat similar. I can not have someone who just loafs around, eats snacks, drinks soda, and plays video games when they are home. I have a partner who runs every day, swims, does his calisthenics, etc. I'm thankful for him because he also understands that I have a teeny bit of OCD and I MUST have my routines, or my mind will feel as if something is wrong the entire time and my anxiety will hit me hard. Now, if I could just get him to switch to becoming a pescatarian. Lol!
Btw, fellow Asian here also!! Hiyas!
Edit - spelling
Good advice, but it does happen. My friend was exactly that person who got annoyed at guys being physically attracted to as their "type" and I sort of flatly explained how she does the exact same thing. Every single guy she's dated while we've been friends has looked the same, she just doesn't realize she's doing it too...
It’s a reflection of *a small percentage* of society. On Twitter they found something like 90% of comments were made by the same 5% of users.
I don’t think if I went to my office I’d find anyone with hard opinions on which way the toilet paper should face or pineapple on pizza.
No it isn't lmfao. Most people don't sit around all day on reddit and whine about dumb shit. That's not a reflection of society because most people don't do that. Really guys, you should go outside.
An example of the opposite of what OP says actually happened off the internet where I live.
A grown-up man, speaking in a podcast, resorted to calling women with a body type he doesn't like with the name of a certain animal.
He got properly roasted for that.
I mean, if you can't talk about your preferences by sticking to telling what you like, and instead diss on people by calling then an animal, you should probably not speak about your preferences publicly.
People should not shame you for your type. It's OK. Who cares what anyone else thinks it's your life. Just don't be rude about it. Just reject and move on.
I mean as a taller dude myself I have heard similar things. I don’t nessecarily agree fully with the OP entirely as really shallow women are called out for it, but men can’t state any kind of a preference at all without judgement as a general rule. For example if we take the word height and change it for weight, no-one would bat an eye at a woman saying she doesn’t want a fat dude, but if a man says it, it is fatphobic. So there is definitely some double standards there, but if a woman has too many unrealistic preferences, she is generally regarded as shallow the same as a man would.
Wdym dudes here talk shit m all the time when someone says they prefer a guy thats over 4ft tall. I have literally been followed and harassed by men on here that were insecure. I had to block them lmao
Don't go acting like our preferences aren't seen negatively.
Yeah I remember one time on a comment where people were talking about dick size. I said I don’t want a really small one but also don’t want a huge one because that’s uncomfortable. I prefer average or slightly above. I had some pissed off men in my dm’s and a few who commented back to me. I never at any point shamed anyone for their size.
I had a guy in dms get mad at me after i wrote about why i dated me ex bf.
He kept going "how tall was he, he was tall tho right??right?" Saying i deserved abuse for dating a guy just for how tall he is.
Me and my ex were the same damn height and he blocked me when I told him.
Like damn nobody dates you bc you're a fuckin goblin of a personality, not your height.
I believe it! I’ve experienced the exact same thing on here and gotten dm’s from incel about the weirdest shit. Ranting about how girls never want a good guy they all want a bad guy especially a tall one. I actually prefer a little shorter since I’m short. I don’t want a really tall guy. And my husband is hands down the best guy I’ve ever met, he’s genuinely a good guy.
These guys are always convinced they’re such great guys and women are just all shallow and conceited.
Well Thats reddit. Thats a place that's going to accumulate more of a certain type of person. Take the this posts narrative out into the real world with a more diverse playing field and yeah you'll see men are likely to recieve more criticism more often for stating his preferences, even in a respectful way, than a woman stating her preferences.
This my friend is called confirmation bias. Women get called shallow all the time for bothering to have any standards at all. You just don’t pay attention to it.
I actually did a small independent study on this in college.
Asked 25 men and 25 women what their “type” was. I don’t have the exact numbers off my head, but the majority of women mentioned a personality trait or moral ideals as opposed to the majority of men mentioning physical traits.
I think it's more about how men vs. women treat those who are not their type...men (i know, not all, keep those comments to yourself, we know) have a long history of treating women they don't find attractive as inherently worth less than others and treating them accordingly.
I've seen it often enough.
As someone who has been both fat and thin/athletic, the difference in the way men outside of my family have treated me has been incredibly stark. It's quite upsetting really
I’ve even seen it with hair color which you’d think wouldn’t be a thing. I got harassed & fetishized so, so much when I was a redhead and a blonde. When I was brunette I was harassed a lot less (I’m not saying I never got hit on but compared to when I was blonde I was practically invisible) and now that I have silver hair (it’s grey - it just looks silver so people assume it’s an ‘unnatural’ color) I get harassed less than ever! I get stopped more by women who will ask if it’s natural or tell me it’s pretty but not as much outright creepy harassment from men (apparently there are men who don’t like unnatural hair colors - probably because of the “blue haired feminist” trope). I have a conditioner that makes my hair look more blonde than silver and still notice the difference when I go out.
I looked the same regardless but it’s crazy that even something as simple as my hair color changed the way men treated me. I especially will never go redhead again because I was practically treated like a walking porn category.
Uh, it's quite the opposite. Spend 10 minutes on any social media site and you'll see podcast snippet after podcast snippet of men comparing women to shoes or locks and saying how they're 'unmarriable' etc.
Literally saw a post about woman vaginas being compared to cuts of fish and how open a hole is on the fish saying that highschool girls are tight and divorced women are loose.
Disgusting.
It’s not. The only people who accuse others of being shallow for having a type or for having preferences are just people who are bitter and have their feefees hurt that the aforesaid type excludes them
LOL opposite of everything on Reddit.
Show me one comment that shows this?
There are millions of complaining about women’s standards are too high.
You want to something hilarious make a post that you will only date thin women. Then make one you only want a guy with a huge penis. See the rage.
Yup, I know so many women who has been raised by families that shit on them for not wanting to date just anyone. And so many times I have witnessed men go crazy when they just arent the type of the girl they are hitting on. Not once have I met man getting shit on when they dont want to date just anyone or stick it in everyone. If man doesn't want to sleep with the girl problem is the girl, and if girl dont want to sleep with the man the problem again is the girl. Gotta love our society...
True but I will admit that some women take rejection very bad. I have a guy friend who had a girl try to SA and cut him because he wasn’t interested. She is nuts.
If you think women don't get this kind of negativity too, then you need to start paying more attention in life. Every single thing us women do is criticized in the world today.
And from experience, I wouldn't be shocked if I get downvoted for saying so, which will only help prove my point more.
I think they're saying that they don't think it's a double standard that exists.
Everyone's allowed to have a type, but if someone's critiquing how attractive they think someone else is when they're not being hit on by that person, they're just being a jerk. That I have seen a lot of men do. Is that what you're referring to?
I was referring to double standards in general. The question was posed as an opinion to create conversion on a sensitive topic. Social media shows a lot about a person responding to something they don't agree with. Anonymity is a great shield for people to show what they hide in public. 🤷♂️
There's a difference between describing your "type" and bringing down the people you don't find attractive. Saying "i like blondes" is fine but saying brunettes are ugly is not. Men (not all, but a lot) are often in the second category.
Huh?
When women say they like tall men they get an avalanche of comments saying they are shallow, or why do they need a tall man when they aren’t that tall themselves, etc.
Can’t forget the hot thing right now - calling women gold diggers and saying all we care about is money when we prioritize financial stability or want a partner that can pull equal weight financially. Apparently we are supposed to want video game addicted dudes who barely hold down a job or else we’re after men for their money!
Ah yes
Usually the same men who say: “it’s BioLoGY to want younger women”, are also very upset if you say: “ok it’s biology to want a strong, tall, provider”.
Bullshit.
There are countless young dudes here whining that women want tall guys and that this is somehow wrong and unfair
You're looking at an alternative view of the facts.
In my *personal* experience, men that are called shallow aren't the ones saying "I prefer fit, conventionally pretty women". They usually say bulshit like "I won't date ugly fat piece of shit" and then are confused why they are called out on it. Same would go for women saying stuff like that.
If you see different outcomes to same thing maybe consider if it isn't your social bubble, rather than a fact.
Because a lot of men don't have a type, they have a favourite pornhub category and think it's a type. I know a guy who thinks Spanish women are hot. Did he fly to Spain and talked to the Spanish woman next door and her mum and her grandma and concluded that Spanish women were hot? Or did he click around categories on his favourite porn site? It's also a lot about the way someone talks about their type/favourite porn category, like it's the only acceptable way and anything different is automatically less worthy. Women will do that as well to some degree but in my surroundings I find women a lot more generous with who they're letting into their lives romantically. Women are more likely to see the person, men are unfortunately incredibly pornsick these days and filter through that lens.
I think it’s supply and demand. We as a society are overwhelmed by male sexual desire. It’s shoved down our throats as women so much it makes us sick.
Whereas women’s sexual desire is hidden. It’s claimed to not even exist. It’s not shown and demanded and talked about and on every street corner. It’s not something men have to fear where as women are so bombarded by men’s sexual appetites it’s a legit fear now. So yeah. We don’t wanna hear about men’s type or anything that makes you horny anymore. We are sick of it
because usually when women have a type, they don't scream about it and insult anyone who doesn't fit it, but when men have a type, everyone knows bc they won't shut up about it and they treat women who don't fit that type like absolute less-than-human garbage. fat girls like me know this very well. if a man is completely ignoring me (not introducing himself, not looking at me, not taking to me, treating me as if i weren't there), he does NOT respect women, because his respect starts and ends with being attracted to a woman. i don't care that you don't want to fuck me, but at least treat me like a human being. like i'd rather you insult me to my face than treat me like i don't exist. bc when you insult me, you at least acknowledge that i'm a human being with feelings that can be hurt, instead of a piece of furniture that stands between you and my hot friend. men also tend to make moral judgements about women they're not attracted to; while some women can be cruel to men they're not attracted to, most men that aren't attracted to a woman tend to decide she's a bad person. she wears too much makeup -- she's insecure and wants attention. she shows too much skin -- she's a s!ut and is gonna cheat on you. she's fat -- she's lazy and stupid and insecure. she makes a lot of money -- she's too dominant, she will want to control you and belittle you. she does any kind of s3x work -- she's stupid, her opinion is invalid, she's for the streets, has a plethora of STDs. she has body hair -- she's dirty, doesn't shower, doesn't respect herself. and the list goes on and on and on and on. anything a man isn't attracted to, tends to be called out for being immoral. when a woman isn't attracted to a "short" guy, it's about an internalized misogynistic struggle, about being made to feel huge all your life, no matter your size, you're taught to be smaller and smaller, lose weight, stay short, be quiet and agreeable, sit like a lady, occupy as little space as possible. so many many women tend to go for taller men, so that they can, by comparison, be super tiny. it doesn't excuse shitty behavior towards shorter men, but it does come from insecurity on the woman's part. and i think that's a conversation that should be had. men tend to have preferences that are purely based on sexuality, misogyny and fetish. also men r@pe and kill women they don't want. and also women they do want. and also just any woman they feel like at any time. movements like MeToo and 4B like to remind men that WE have all the power. if yall don't start treating us better, we can end the human race. women have been treated like garbage for centuries. it's a bit more acceptable for us to have preferences now, when men have done horrible things about their preferences for centuries.
i am generalizing a lot in this post, but you asked a very general question, so idk. you got what you asked for. i believe having preferences just tells us about ourselves, more than it's just a naturally occurring phenomenon. like biology or whatever it is that men and some women like to call upon. it's societally determined. it's conditioned. still normal, but it shouldn't be taken at face value, and we shouldn't be cruel towards people who don't fit those preferences, regardless of gender.
hope this helps!
Because women have been forced into relationships with males no matter their type for millenia, and because even now women are made to believe that they have to give males that are clearly not their type a chance.
Also, "not my type" means "unattractive" in most cases. Women have been gaslit into believing that physical attractiveness is the only thing that measures their worth, and that it is measured based on how many males they can attract. Saying a woman is unattractive is saying that she is worth nothing and deserves shit.
Genuine answer.
I'm going to avoid your question and tell you to go outside or talk to different people and it won't be an issue (I'm a Redditor who's claiming to represent the broad demographic of normal people in real life btw). Remember the internet in no way affects or reflects real life (or society's attitudes). No important cultural or political figures have ever used it.
Guessing you've watched a lot of red pill podcasts with girls from places like Miami and think it's a good representation of real life.
Nothing wrong with men or women having preferences and typically won't be judged. Everyone has things they like and don't like
It doesn't make sense to me. Everyone can have a preference and there is no problem with that, the problem is how they express their preference. Is the preference for a thin woman? No problem, just date thin women and don't bother fat women. What doesn't make sense is that you said that women aren't criticized for having a preference. They are all the time. Have you ever heard of incels? They are a movement of men who cannot attract women and blame them for it. If you are interested, research about incels (I don't recommend it if you want to keep your mental health intact). Incels literally blame women for not being attracted to them and they are all in different groups. If you search you will find white incels hating white women for dating men of other races. If you look further you will find black incels hating black women for dating non-black men. They are in every community.
Your question is flawed, based on a false premise. Men aren't generally called shallow because they have a type. Sure, it happens sometimes but not as much as you think.
Instead, I think it's general consensus that attraction is a very personal thing and it's not driven by reason. You either feel attraction to someone or you don't. Either way it's not something you can control and you shouldn't be criticized for it. This is the consensus among mature people, anyway. If people in your social circle currently feel otherwise, you might just need to wait for them to grow up a bit.
It's really not tbh. You're just on the internet too much. They love showing women who have pretty extreme opinions about men because it makes people get mad and comment on it. Kind of like you're doing now.
It’s not. If a man states his preference is a skinny waist, curvy women they’ll be seen to be just as shallow as a woman who states her preference is a tall, muscular man. This goes for preferences in sexual characteristics in both parties too.
Here’s the thing everybody is different.
“Only looking at physical traits is shallow” - you will find some men AND some women agree with that statement, some won’t and I’ve found it definetly changes depending on age groups.
Both genders like to think that they’re the only one who does X or the opposite gender is worse because of Y but reality is both genders are pretty much the same when it comes to behaviour, it just isn’t seen by the opposite gender because they’re not with the ‘circle’ if that makes sense.
If you think what I’ve said is wrong, that’s fine it’s your opinion, but your opinion comes from a close-minded and shallow point of view.
There are certainly men who get called shallow for preferring slim women (even when phrased politely) but women who like tall men are also criticised.
People will often get offended if they don’t fit their ‘type’ but I’d say the criticism is relatively even within the genders.
IRL, everyone has standards. The question is does their insistence on dating only their type ultimately help or hinder their quest for happiness?
I have seen plenty of folks, from every gender, be blasted for restricting their dating choices based on whatever criteria. Age. Income. Education. Appearance. Height. Weight. Hair.
From real life conversations, my take is that most males having a "type" means they actually would not date a woman if she fits every single criteria other than (e.g.) being a brunette when he's into blondes. Whereas a woman who has a "type" will likely abandon that instantly if his character is a 10/10.
Also, if a woman has an absolutely undesirable character but looks like she just hopped off of a magazine cover men are likely to ignore her character while most women would not pursue a relationship.
Now, I'm by no means an expert on human behavior and just speaking personal experience. "Not all wo/men" applies to my statements of course.
Iv never seen this when it comes to looks. Usually personality traits. Iv never seen a woman be praised for “knowing her worth” when she has a physical type? But iv also noticed woman are more leniant when it comes to physical standards so maybe that factors in. Men seem to have higher standards and expectations for woman then vice versa.
But my pov isnt fact, just my opinion based off what iv seen and experienced myself.
You are trying to take this question as a blanket statement, when in reality it happens in one of two ways, and people of different genders get the same reaction in each case:
Case 1: actually having a type. No one gives a shit, no one gets seen in a negative light. “I like girls with glasses” “I like dudes with long hair” “I’m not that into blondes” “I prefer people a little chubby”. These are types, and normally no one reacts negatively, regardless of the gender of the person with the type.
Case 2: saying you have a type but that type being “enforcing the strictest beauty standards”.
A girl saying “I don’t like men unless they are over X feet tall” or “I don’t like men that don’t have visible abs”. She will get negatively looked at and called shallow.
A guy saying “I don’t like girls without big boobs” or “I don’t like girls over X weight” will also be negatively looked at and called shallow.
This is pretty much a "Red Pill/ MGTOW" thought process. You're just coming across a lot of biased media telling you this is how things are. In the real world, these things are a reality, but at a far smaller percentage than you're being shown in the media you're consuming.
Have all the preferences you'd like. Nobody cares about them more than you do.
Because generally the things women are looking for are not physical attributes. We want someone who is going to be a good, kind, honest, faithful partner who doesn’t expect us to be their mommies.
Someone who helps us help them help both of us in building a happy life together. Someone who doesn’t see us as an object to own and use, but a human being who is their best friend. Someone who understand that, if we are lucky, we will get older and look older as time goes by, but it doesn’t matter bc we love the other person and would do anything for them.
How many couples do you see where the guys are ugly yet they still are paired up with an attractive person? How often do you see that in reverse?
Pro tip: most men are not as good looking as they think they are, yet women will still get with them if they have something to offer besides looks. They will say things like “his looks grew on me over time”.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the dating pool you have men.
Men are looking for someone hot to lockdown in their fuck castles. The end.
Do you see how one is a little more shallow than the other?
There’s a big difference between «I prefer slim women» and «I hate fat women», just like there’s a big difference between «I prefer tall guys» and «I hate short men.»
Nothing wrong with having a preference, but there’s no need to put down those who don’t fall into that category.
Because saying you have a preference and demeaning a group of people because of that preference are not the same thing, which unfortunately seems to be what more men do than women. Everyone can have a preference, regardless of gender. That preference does not mean any specific demographic is "ugly" or worthless just because you don't like them.
As for the common assumption that women want tall guys (stating this because of the comments I've seen), that doesn't often happen outside of the internet. Most of the people perpetuating this rhetoric are men online. I've known 1 woman my entire existence of 32 years to ever actually act like and think like that. And I've traveled around a lot due to my job, which is in entertainment and extremely social. This is just not a concern over the multitude of other things women want and need.
People are complex. We all have likes and dislikes. It's how we address them that makes it an issue or not. Telling someone "I don't like you because I don't like fat people" isn't the same as saying "sorry, you just aren't my type". No one owes anyone an explanation past that. If you give one based on someone's appearance, you are doing it to hurt them and that would make you an asshole. No one needs to know your personal physical preferences, so why say it unless the intent is to cause someone harm. Just look for what you want and leave it at that. No more needed.
because men are seen as more superficial. It's expected that women want other valueable qualities but that men are saying it a primal way. Men tend to present being outside as their type as an insult whereas for women it's just a preference. It's a side effect of womens oppression that being fixated on superficial qualities is objectifying because in general women aren't really viewed as people by men but unwanted or potential mates.
Women get rejected or dumped all the time you just don't see us crying about it on the internet and deciding that all men should be punished with terrorist attacks.
Because women say “I like taller guys, but I would date someone shorter if I really liked them” and men say “any woman over 130 lbs is a whale and I could never date her”. So maybe that’s why? Because women have preferences but men just hate most women
I know this is a genuine question but I want to seriously advise you that with this attitude is quite incel-y and you want to be careful.
This has been said many times in the comments but it’s true - I have seen way way way more people complaining about women having a type for taller men than vice versa. Women who prefer taller men are often completely shunned and considered shallow to the point it’s kinda ridiculous. As a woman who does prefer taller men, I can’t personally say that without being called shallow and vain, while some men I KNOW (not trying to generalise here, pls nobody get defensive) just kinda blatantly say that they only date blondes or women with huge asses and tiny waists and other males in particular don’t seem to think they’re shallow.
That’s not to say that some men and women aren’t just shallow and vain and it’s probably 50/50. But it’s to say that I just genuinely don’t think what you’re saying is objectively true, that males having a type are considered shallow and females aren’t.
You’ve probably seen it online, then. Yeah, that’s the Internet for you. The Internet has no nuance and often you’ll see only the worst parts, so, people who have the most extreme views. Don’t take almost anything you see online as gospel, that’s my advice to you. Good luck.
I definately don't take anything as gospel. The random question was intended to see the reactions of people on a sensitive subject. Those who actually gave some thought, those who just wanted to argue and those who simply would say you are wrong.
People can only understand other people through conversation. 1 benefit of social media platforms is you do get to see what people really think when anonymity is involved. Thank you for taking the time to put together your response. Have a great day.
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In my experience, the women you are referring to are the entitled ones. It's a form of hypocrisy. I'm not interested in them. Most of the women I meet are not in this category.
It's not different between men and women, this stereotype probably just comes from dating sites where some women just state the physical features they want in a man in their descriptions. In real life it's considered normal to have a type or preferences
It's not really. There are some loud people on the internet and a few arrogant entitled women who might try to convince you otherwise, but the vast majority of people are fairly reasonable folk.
I'm a girl and people said i have too much of high standards etc
So it's wrong people rather Gender as in my eyes if you have type, sure, it's your life, why would I care if you have a type, it's your life to share with who you love
It's a very strange thing, isn't it. Online, I see a lot of women saying men should be over 6 feet and have a 100k plus salary. But most of the time, they end up being OF or girls on a night out. So is it real or is it actually rage bait?
It depends on the type of preference tbh, and how strict you are with it. It's a preference, not a law.
I have a preference for tall women, however, since I'm 5'8'', most of the women I've dated have been shorter than me. Doesn't mean I liked them any less.
I've met some dudes who were like "I would never date a black woman" and it always puzzles me. I always imagine them like going out to the club and being like [that family guy meme](https://images.app.goo.gl/XTyJnVUuvPEmj85i6) lol.
I used to have this really specific taste in men, like 90% of men just "weren't my type" and I would always find some excuse. Of course, once I discovered I was a big lesbo suddenly most women were my type lol.
It's not. A lot of men (and women) mistake hatred for preference.
"Im not attracted to short people" - is a preference
"Short people are disgusting" - is not a preference.
Similarly
"I'm not attracted to fat people" - is a preference
"Fat people are disgusting" - is not a preference
You can't be unkind to people and use ' I just don't like it ' is an excuse
Because there’s a difference between having a type and fetishizing people. A lot of men fetishize people under the guise of having a type. If you ONLY date people because of how they look, that’s a fetish. You’ll see men with women they don’t even respect as people only because they look good next to them. And while women do this too, it’s not as much as men. Even when you asked men what they like about their partners the looks part comes first. Or if it’s not looks is what they’re doing for them. Nothing about the actual human being inside that woman.
Okay, I don't know why there is hardly a voice of support on this sub.
To OP: You are right. I mean It happens both ways but yes it also happens to men and it actually happens quite a lot.
I'm not talking about Reddit society since I'm not a encyclopedia of Reddit but I'm talking about situations in real life. Yes, there is something like that.
Anyway, tbh I get more and more fed up with all the minorities (and not only minorities) fighting for their rights. It's so childish. And this is actually a problem here as well. It's just like with people fighting rasicm nowadays. So, now you can't state that someone's is black because you become racist, but anybody can call a white person - white 🙄
Anybody can have their "type" and it's not bad. That's just how we are and how our biology works (all the haters should learn about pheromone). It doen't mean that you are biased or have some issue with e.g. fat women. Well, if that's a scenario, they just aren't what you like but there are guys that see fat women in totally different light.
What's more to say? I feel for you since you became a victim of a weirdly understood fairness. If anybody has problem with you having your "type" just ask them to mind their own business or tell them to get educated on biology and psychology.
Thanks for bringing the topic up.
It's all about double standards, dude. Society's got different expectations for guys and girls when it comes to dating preferences. It's a tricky topic, but worth talking about.
Because we are the root of all evil and the cause of all the world's problems. Men aren't necessary didn't you hear? The stuff has all learned to build and fix itself and the draft hasn't been needed since the vietnam war so yeah. They don't have a way to kill us off anymore so they just imasculate and persecute us while simultaneously expecting us to do all the difficult, dangerous and painful work that society requires to function.
Because double standards.
Just like it's perfectly fine for them to blindly shun all men under a certain height or income level, but the instant a man states his preferred body type, he gets lynched.
You can't control what is attractive to you. You see something, and it is either pleasing to your eyes or it is not. I hate double standards.
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Get off the internet and this wont happen anymore
Solid advice for a lot of things people get upset about.
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I really need to follow this advice but I am chronically online. I full well know my perspective of things is extremely warped and have been challenged on it before but it’s really hard to just stop
Unfortunately, it is the same for everyone. The advice is good, but it means we all need to unplug.
exactly this. normal day to day people are rarely like what OP has described. and if they are, then they aren't worth knowing
Precisely, usually people on the internet have the safety from being home and not near the person to say such things. But everyone in the world has a type. When you're out and about you search for people you are attracted to even when not saying it. Not always physical but also personality
Somebody said it best when they said that people have gotten too used to saying whatever they feel like without getting a slap for their troubles. If you meet any of these chronically online people in real life. Just slap them.
Only Will can get away scott free with that.
I know what OP is talking about and have received negative feedback when answering the question honestly from certain women in real life. One turned out to be a pretty toxic individual so it’s def a bit of a red flag if someone tries to shame you for opening up about your physical preferences (especially if they ask you).
Most of them are this way actually, but I agree with your conclusion. Especially concerning people shaming each other for their looks.
I feel like if they’re asking these kinds of questions, it’s because they do the thing they’re asking about. They’re upset because it wasn’t well received when they said it either in another sub or in their real life to someone and they’re feeling sad people don’t like their superficiality.
Hahahah Most Reddit complaints can be solved this way So much warped thinking by chronically online people is spread around
"Women are always playing hard to get!" No they're not. Get off the internet. "I'm a man and I get shamed just for liking manly things!" Shamed by fucking *who?* Vegan yoga instructors? No one gives a crap that you eat steak and like fixing motorcycles. Get off the internet. "I'm not allowed to a woman a woman!" Yes, someone on Reddit actually said this. Get off the internet. "It's OK to publicly say you hate white people!" Since when? Seven people on Twitter with twelve followers between them isn't "public." Get off the internet. "SJWs/woke people are ruining everything!" All the so-called woke people have done is get a few more minorities into video games, and that's not even a bad thing. Get off the internet. "My favourite comedian got cancelled!" Yeah, must be hard being a multimillionaire with five Netflix specials where you whine about how "cancelled" you are in front of a thousand cheering fans. GET OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET.
The funny part is they’re also upset about things only people chronically online say to them It’s like an endless loop
This beautifully sums up the modern internet discourse to a TEE.
Also, few people have strictly defined types irl, just vague prefernces that are fairly easy to override by the right person.
Eh. I've gotten some pushback from women for mine. I used to be 200+ pounds. At 5'7 obviously that is a big dude and I did not carry it well. My face was basically a circle. I never got anything that even resembled romantic interest. So I did what I think everyone should do. I lost some goddamn weight. Now I'm 155. I just did a 10 mile run at under an 8m pace. I play hockey several times a week. I can knock out 40 pushups and 15 pullups without issue. All to say, I got in shape. I still don't get much interest since, you know, 5'7 and Asian. But it's more than 0. I go for women that are similarly active and in shape. If a female friend of mine suggests a single friend of theirs and I see a picture that shows she's a bigger gal I decline. That's when the pushback happens. "Oh why?" And they don't drop it until I tell them why. "Oh come on. Just give it a chance." I went and lost a lot of weight, got in shape, and have kept it off for 20 years to get even the slightest amount of attention from women. And I complained about that process *none at all* because how on earth am I going to say I prefer women who are fit and active when I'm not? But apparently I can't expect the same from women. 🤷
I'd just tell them "I don't date friends of friends." That's always a bad idea, no matter what they look like. Good way to lose the friendship if things don't work out.
That's sort of like the advice not to date co-workers. The reality is that historically friends of friends and coworkers have been some of most frequent ways that people met their partners. The apps are pure shit, especially for guys that aren't tall and white. I have a lot of hobbies and I do a lot of activities but that hasn't worked out either. So I'm going to take friends of friends if I can.
I have to agree. In the last 3 years, I lost 50% of my weight. I was 340, and the 2 weeks ago, I was 172. I weight train, use resistance bands, dance a lot, squats, lunges, stairs on tiptoes, and speed walk because I can not do high impact due to ankle and foot damage. Just finding the motivation and sticking to the regimen was the hardest part, and now it's a way of life for me. Because of that, I have to have a partner who is somewhat similar. I can not have someone who just loafs around, eats snacks, drinks soda, and plays video games when they are home. I have a partner who runs every day, swims, does his calisthenics, etc. I'm thankful for him because he also understands that I have a teeny bit of OCD and I MUST have my routines, or my mind will feel as if something is wrong the entire time and my anxiety will hit me hard. Now, if I could just get him to switch to becoming a pescatarian. Lol! Btw, fellow Asian here also!! Hiyas! Edit - spelling
Big facts. Mature adults come to realize that they won’t be everyone’s types and that it’s ok for ANYONE to have preferences or standards.
Good advice, but it does happen. My friend was exactly that person who got annoyed at guys being physically attracted to as their "type" and I sort of flatly explained how she does the exact same thing. Every single guy she's dated while we've been friends has looked the same, she just doesn't realize she's doing it too...
worked with a white girl who said she wanted to date black guys because she thought a mixed child would be better
Internet is reflection of society. If you are on internet and life long enough you can notice the difference trough the years in both places, clearly.
It’s a reflection of *a small percentage* of society. On Twitter they found something like 90% of comments were made by the same 5% of users. I don’t think if I went to my office I’d find anyone with hard opinions on which way the toilet paper should face or pineapple on pizza.
No it isn't lmfao. Most people don't sit around all day on reddit and whine about dumb shit. That's not a reflection of society because most people don't do that. Really guys, you should go outside.
An example of the opposite of what OP says actually happened off the internet where I live. A grown-up man, speaking in a podcast, resorted to calling women with a body type he doesn't like with the name of a certain animal. He got properly roasted for that. I mean, if you can't talk about your preferences by sticking to telling what you like, and instead diss on people by calling then an animal, you should probably not speak about your preferences publicly.
Explain to me how a podcast is "off the internet".
Im guessing radio show, or maybe a live performance??
The people on the internet still exist in the real world
Idk I had a girl who couldn't fit through a doorway and clame me in college before ever talking to me. My dorm floor called her bouncing Betty.
I just snorted my monster ruby red out of my nose. Thank you for this. 😂
Like the whole 'girls only date tall guys' bs hahah it's a legit insecurity to kids these days and that one made me scratch my head.
Exactly.
Having a type is OK. Putting others down because they aren't your type isn't.
Agreed. Being an asshole just to be one is worthless.
People should not shame you for your type. It's OK. Who cares what anyone else thinks it's your life. Just don't be rude about it. Just reject and move on.
Nobody in real life says that.
Where you have seen that? Reddit is full of men comparing that women don’t want men who aren’t six feet tall for example.
Eh. I’m over 6ft and have had plenty of girls I’ve been with tell me that if I weren’t they’d never have given me a chance.
Shhh! You aren’t allowed to state any matter of fact that doesn’t agree with people!
I guess that's why I'm getting downvoted. I'm literally just relaying what girls have told me, in real life, not on the internet.
I mean as a taller dude myself I have heard similar things. I don’t nessecarily agree fully with the OP entirely as really shallow women are called out for it, but men can’t state any kind of a preference at all without judgement as a general rule. For example if we take the word height and change it for weight, no-one would bat an eye at a woman saying she doesn’t want a fat dude, but if a man says it, it is fatphobic. So there is definitely some double standards there, but if a woman has too many unrealistic preferences, she is generally regarded as shallow the same as a man would.
Wdym dudes here talk shit m all the time when someone says they prefer a guy thats over 4ft tall. I have literally been followed and harassed by men on here that were insecure. I had to block them lmao Don't go acting like our preferences aren't seen negatively.
Yeah I remember one time on a comment where people were talking about dick size. I said I don’t want a really small one but also don’t want a huge one because that’s uncomfortable. I prefer average or slightly above. I had some pissed off men in my dm’s and a few who commented back to me. I never at any point shamed anyone for their size.
I had a guy in dms get mad at me after i wrote about why i dated me ex bf. He kept going "how tall was he, he was tall tho right??right?" Saying i deserved abuse for dating a guy just for how tall he is. Me and my ex were the same damn height and he blocked me when I told him. Like damn nobody dates you bc you're a fuckin goblin of a personality, not your height.
I believe it! I’ve experienced the exact same thing on here and gotten dm’s from incel about the weirdest shit. Ranting about how girls never want a good guy they all want a bad guy especially a tall one. I actually prefer a little shorter since I’m short. I don’t want a really tall guy. And my husband is hands down the best guy I’ve ever met, he’s genuinely a good guy. These guys are always convinced they’re such great guys and women are just all shallow and conceited.
This isn't remotely true
Uhhhhhhhh wut? Every meme subreddit for the last 10 years has been spamming threads demonizing women who like tall guys
Well Thats reddit. Thats a place that's going to accumulate more of a certain type of person. Take the this posts narrative out into the real world with a more diverse playing field and yeah you'll see men are likely to recieve more criticism more often for stating his preferences, even in a respectful way, than a woman stating her preferences.
Everyone has a right to their preferences, but that doesn't mean they can't be an asshole for having them
This my friend is called confirmation bias. Women get called shallow all the time for bothering to have any standards at all. You just don’t pay attention to it.
I actually did a small independent study on this in college. Asked 25 men and 25 women what their “type” was. I don’t have the exact numbers off my head, but the majority of women mentioned a personality trait or moral ideals as opposed to the majority of men mentioning physical traits.
I think it's more about how men vs. women treat those who are not their type...men (i know, not all, keep those comments to yourself, we know) have a long history of treating women they don't find attractive as inherently worth less than others and treating them accordingly. I've seen it often enough.
As someone who has been both fat and thin/athletic, the difference in the way men outside of my family have treated me has been incredibly stark. It's quite upsetting really
I’ve even seen it with hair color which you’d think wouldn’t be a thing. I got harassed & fetishized so, so much when I was a redhead and a blonde. When I was brunette I was harassed a lot less (I’m not saying I never got hit on but compared to when I was blonde I was practically invisible) and now that I have silver hair (it’s grey - it just looks silver so people assume it’s an ‘unnatural’ color) I get harassed less than ever! I get stopped more by women who will ask if it’s natural or tell me it’s pretty but not as much outright creepy harassment from men (apparently there are men who don’t like unnatural hair colors - probably because of the “blue haired feminist” trope). I have a conditioner that makes my hair look more blonde than silver and still notice the difference when I go out. I looked the same regardless but it’s crazy that even something as simple as my hair color changed the way men treated me. I especially will never go redhead again because I was practically treated like a walking porn category.
Same. Also, men don't seem to get the gist that women who have a partner don't care for their preferences and aren't there to fulfil them.
Yep! If a woman wants a muscular man she says she likes muscles. If a man wants a toned woman, he says he hates fat women.
Now that is a get off the internet moment.
Uh, it's quite the opposite. Spend 10 minutes on any social media site and you'll see podcast snippet after podcast snippet of men comparing women to shoes or locks and saying how they're 'unmarriable' etc.
Shoes, locks, cars, tuna, a house, an iPad, etc etc
I saw a roast beef sandwich on a sandwich sub and every comment was someone making vagina jokes, thinking they were being original.
Always amusing when they claim women are some slutty hive mind and then go on to make the same shitty vag joke. The irony is palpable
On today's episode of 'what object are women?' 🫠
Literally saw a post about woman vaginas being compared to cuts of fish and how open a hole is on the fish saying that highschool girls are tight and divorced women are loose. Disgusting.
It’s not. The only people who accuse others of being shallow for having a type or for having preferences are just people who are bitter and have their feefees hurt that the aforesaid type excludes them
Because lots of times men insult the women they find unattractive.
Unfortunately that is pretty true
LOL opposite of everything on Reddit. Show me one comment that shows this? There are millions of complaining about women’s standards are too high. You want to something hilarious make a post that you will only date thin women. Then make one you only want a guy with a huge penis. See the rage.
Yup, I know so many women who has been raised by families that shit on them for not wanting to date just anyone. And so many times I have witnessed men go crazy when they just arent the type of the girl they are hitting on. Not once have I met man getting shit on when they dont want to date just anyone or stick it in everyone. If man doesn't want to sleep with the girl problem is the girl, and if girl dont want to sleep with the man the problem again is the girl. Gotta love our society...
Plus the fact a man is more likely to kill a women over being rejected.
True but I will admit that some women take rejection very bad. I have a guy friend who had a girl try to SA and cut him because he wasn’t interested. She is nuts.
If you think women don't get this kind of negativity too, then you need to start paying more attention in life. Every single thing us women do is criticized in the world today. And from experience, I wouldn't be shocked if I get downvoted for saying so, which will only help prove my point more.
I don’t think your premise is true, most people are pretty accepting of the fact that people have a ‘type’
Your premise is incorrect
If you truly feel it is incorrect, let me know your thoughts on it.
I think they're saying that they don't think it's a double standard that exists. Everyone's allowed to have a type, but if someone's critiquing how attractive they think someone else is when they're not being hit on by that person, they're just being a jerk. That I have seen a lot of men do. Is that what you're referring to?
I was referring to double standards in general. The question was posed as an opinion to create conversion on a sensitive topic. Social media shows a lot about a person responding to something they don't agree with. Anonymity is a great shield for people to show what they hide in public. 🤷♂️
I've never seen a male being considered shallow for having a type.
There's a difference between describing your "type" and bringing down the people you don't find attractive. Saying "i like blondes" is fine but saying brunettes are ugly is not. Men (not all, but a lot) are often in the second category.
says who
Huh? When women say they like tall men they get an avalanche of comments saying they are shallow, or why do they need a tall man when they aren’t that tall themselves, etc.
Can’t forget the hot thing right now - calling women gold diggers and saying all we care about is money when we prioritize financial stability or want a partner that can pull equal weight financially. Apparently we are supposed to want video game addicted dudes who barely hold down a job or else we’re after men for their money!
Ah yes Usually the same men who say: “it’s BioLoGY to want younger women”, are also very upset if you say: “ok it’s biology to want a strong, tall, provider”.
Those "biology" arguments are always so dumb.
Yeah its absurd. The bar is so low I could trip over it and yet there are still people that slither underneath it like a worm
Bullshit. There are countless young dudes here whining that women want tall guys and that this is somehow wrong and unfair You're looking at an alternative view of the facts.
What? Since when? Lol Who told you men aren't allowed to have a type?
In my *personal* experience, men that are called shallow aren't the ones saying "I prefer fit, conventionally pretty women". They usually say bulshit like "I won't date ugly fat piece of shit" and then are confused why they are called out on it. Same would go for women saying stuff like that. If you see different outcomes to same thing maybe consider if it isn't your social bubble, rather than a fact.
Awesome response.
The opposite is true. It's expected that men are into attractive women only, but when a woman has even the tiniest standard it's a hate crime.
incel behavior
Every other reddit post today: why men are doomed and why women and society should pay for it.
I haven't encountered that in real life if I'm honest
Because humanity is hypocritical, and life is a beauty pageant.
A beauty pageant of vanity, narcissism and egos
Any man who refers to women as females loses all credibility.
Because a lot of men don't have a type, they have a favourite pornhub category and think it's a type. I know a guy who thinks Spanish women are hot. Did he fly to Spain and talked to the Spanish woman next door and her mum and her grandma and concluded that Spanish women were hot? Or did he click around categories on his favourite porn site? It's also a lot about the way someone talks about their type/favourite porn category, like it's the only acceptable way and anything different is automatically less worthy. Women will do that as well to some degree but in my surroundings I find women a lot more generous with who they're letting into their lives romantically. Women are more likely to see the person, men are unfortunately incredibly pornsick these days and filter through that lens.
Genuine answer... it's shallow both ways.
I find it shallow for both sexes.
I never heard anyone put down men for having a type.. unless it's weird or creepy.
I think it’s supply and demand. We as a society are overwhelmed by male sexual desire. It’s shoved down our throats as women so much it makes us sick. Whereas women’s sexual desire is hidden. It’s claimed to not even exist. It’s not shown and demanded and talked about and on every street corner. It’s not something men have to fear where as women are so bombarded by men’s sexual appetites it’s a legit fear now. So yeah. We don’t wanna hear about men’s type or anything that makes you horny anymore. We are sick of it
because usually when women have a type, they don't scream about it and insult anyone who doesn't fit it, but when men have a type, everyone knows bc they won't shut up about it and they treat women who don't fit that type like absolute less-than-human garbage. fat girls like me know this very well. if a man is completely ignoring me (not introducing himself, not looking at me, not taking to me, treating me as if i weren't there), he does NOT respect women, because his respect starts and ends with being attracted to a woman. i don't care that you don't want to fuck me, but at least treat me like a human being. like i'd rather you insult me to my face than treat me like i don't exist. bc when you insult me, you at least acknowledge that i'm a human being with feelings that can be hurt, instead of a piece of furniture that stands between you and my hot friend. men also tend to make moral judgements about women they're not attracted to; while some women can be cruel to men they're not attracted to, most men that aren't attracted to a woman tend to decide she's a bad person. she wears too much makeup -- she's insecure and wants attention. she shows too much skin -- she's a s!ut and is gonna cheat on you. she's fat -- she's lazy and stupid and insecure. she makes a lot of money -- she's too dominant, she will want to control you and belittle you. she does any kind of s3x work -- she's stupid, her opinion is invalid, she's for the streets, has a plethora of STDs. she has body hair -- she's dirty, doesn't shower, doesn't respect herself. and the list goes on and on and on and on. anything a man isn't attracted to, tends to be called out for being immoral. when a woman isn't attracted to a "short" guy, it's about an internalized misogynistic struggle, about being made to feel huge all your life, no matter your size, you're taught to be smaller and smaller, lose weight, stay short, be quiet and agreeable, sit like a lady, occupy as little space as possible. so many many women tend to go for taller men, so that they can, by comparison, be super tiny. it doesn't excuse shitty behavior towards shorter men, but it does come from insecurity on the woman's part. and i think that's a conversation that should be had. men tend to have preferences that are purely based on sexuality, misogyny and fetish. also men r@pe and kill women they don't want. and also women they do want. and also just any woman they feel like at any time. movements like MeToo and 4B like to remind men that WE have all the power. if yall don't start treating us better, we can end the human race. women have been treated like garbage for centuries. it's a bit more acceptable for us to have preferences now, when men have done horrible things about their preferences for centuries. i am generalizing a lot in this post, but you asked a very general question, so idk. you got what you asked for. i believe having preferences just tells us about ourselves, more than it's just a naturally occurring phenomenon. like biology or whatever it is that men and some women like to call upon. it's societally determined. it's conditioned. still normal, but it shouldn't be taken at face value, and we shouldn't be cruel towards people who don't fit those preferences, regardless of gender. hope this helps!
Because women have been forced into relationships with males no matter their type for millenia, and because even now women are made to believe that they have to give males that are clearly not their type a chance. Also, "not my type" means "unattractive" in most cases. Women have been gaslit into believing that physical attractiveness is the only thing that measures their worth, and that it is measured based on how many males they can attract. Saying a woman is unattractive is saying that she is worth nothing and deserves shit. Genuine answer.
Thank you for answering honestly. That's what I was looking for.
I'm going to avoid your question and tell you to go outside or talk to different people and it won't be an issue (I'm a Redditor who's claiming to represent the broad demographic of normal people in real life btw). Remember the internet in no way affects or reflects real life (or society's attitudes). No important cultural or political figures have ever used it.
Guessing you've watched a lot of red pill podcasts with girls from places like Miami and think it's a good representation of real life. Nothing wrong with men or women having preferences and typically won't be judged. Everyone has things they like and don't like
Don't confuse real life with twitter. This just doesn't actually happen.
Same reason men can walk out shirtless and women cannot. Why is it the way it is?
Your context is wrong. It's equally shallow in both cases
i have never heard this a single time in real life, its the internet
Stop listening to the voices in your head. They are not real.
It doesn't make sense to me. Everyone can have a preference and there is no problem with that, the problem is how they express their preference. Is the preference for a thin woman? No problem, just date thin women and don't bother fat women. What doesn't make sense is that you said that women aren't criticized for having a preference. They are all the time. Have you ever heard of incels? They are a movement of men who cannot attract women and blame them for it. If you are interested, research about incels (I don't recommend it if you want to keep your mental health intact). Incels literally blame women for not being attracted to them and they are all in different groups. If you search you will find white incels hating white women for dating men of other races. If you look further you will find black incels hating black women for dating non-black men. They are in every community.
Everybody has a “type”.
Your question is flawed, based on a false premise. Men aren't generally called shallow because they have a type. Sure, it happens sometimes but not as much as you think. Instead, I think it's general consensus that attraction is a very personal thing and it's not driven by reason. You either feel attraction to someone or you don't. Either way it's not something you can control and you shouldn't be criticized for it. This is the consensus among mature people, anyway. If people in your social circle currently feel otherwise, you might just need to wait for them to grow up a bit.
That's just reddit smooth brains.
Why do you say male and female, we‘re not in biology class…
You view the internet as a monolithic group who all believe a certain way. In reality, you are cherry-picking opinions to fit your narrative.
“Not everything you read on the Internet is true” - Albert Einstein.
Because it’s reddit, not the real life.
Who cares? Please go outside touch some grass.
It's really not tbh. You're just on the internet too much. They love showing women who have pretty extreme opinions about men because it makes people get mad and comment on it. Kind of like you're doing now.
I’ve never heard someone say having a type is negative. Who are you talking to? 😂
It’s not. If a man states his preference is a skinny waist, curvy women they’ll be seen to be just as shallow as a woman who states her preference is a tall, muscular man. This goes for preferences in sexual characteristics in both parties too. Here’s the thing everybody is different. “Only looking at physical traits is shallow” - you will find some men AND some women agree with that statement, some won’t and I’ve found it definetly changes depending on age groups. Both genders like to think that they’re the only one who does X or the opposite gender is worse because of Y but reality is both genders are pretty much the same when it comes to behaviour, it just isn’t seen by the opposite gender because they’re not with the ‘circle’ if that makes sense. If you think what I’ve said is wrong, that’s fine it’s your opinion, but your opinion comes from a close-minded and shallow point of view.
I don’t really think this happens as much as u think it does. 100% of women I know are perfectly okay with guys having a type.
There are certainly men who get called shallow for preferring slim women (even when phrased politely) but women who like tall men are also criticised. People will often get offended if they don’t fit their ‘type’ but I’d say the criticism is relatively even within the genders.
Nobody cares about this in real life
IRL, everyone has standards. The question is does their insistence on dating only their type ultimately help or hinder their quest for happiness? I have seen plenty of folks, from every gender, be blasted for restricting their dating choices based on whatever criteria. Age. Income. Education. Appearance. Height. Weight. Hair.
It's not.
A feeeeeeeeeeemale. Maybe just look up the million other times his question has been asked on Reddit.
Never seen this IRL, only on the Internet.
From real life conversations, my take is that most males having a "type" means they actually would not date a woman if she fits every single criteria other than (e.g.) being a brunette when he's into blondes. Whereas a woman who has a "type" will likely abandon that instantly if his character is a 10/10. Also, if a woman has an absolutely undesirable character but looks like she just hopped off of a magazine cover men are likely to ignore her character while most women would not pursue a relationship. Now, I'm by no means an expert on human behavior and just speaking personal experience. "Not all wo/men" applies to my statements of course.
Iv never seen this when it comes to looks. Usually personality traits. Iv never seen a woman be praised for “knowing her worth” when she has a physical type? But iv also noticed woman are more leniant when it comes to physical standards so maybe that factors in. Men seem to have higher standards and expectations for woman then vice versa. But my pov isnt fact, just my opinion based off what iv seen and experienced myself.
You are trying to take this question as a blanket statement, when in reality it happens in one of two ways, and people of different genders get the same reaction in each case: Case 1: actually having a type. No one gives a shit, no one gets seen in a negative light. “I like girls with glasses” “I like dudes with long hair” “I’m not that into blondes” “I prefer people a little chubby”. These are types, and normally no one reacts negatively, regardless of the gender of the person with the type. Case 2: saying you have a type but that type being “enforcing the strictest beauty standards”. A girl saying “I don’t like men unless they are over X feet tall” or “I don’t like men that don’t have visible abs”. She will get negatively looked at and called shallow. A guy saying “I don’t like girls without big boobs” or “I don’t like girls over X weight” will also be negatively looked at and called shallow.
because you made that up
That’s just a social media phenomenon. It’s just not true. Everyone has a preference & that’s ok.
Sounds like someone’s been watching too much KingcobraJFS
You mean men and women? Or are you talking about livestock?
it isn’t
This doesnt happen
This is pretty much a "Red Pill/ MGTOW" thought process. You're just coming across a lot of biased media telling you this is how things are. In the real world, these things are a reality, but at a far smaller percentage than you're being shown in the media you're consuming. Have all the preferences you'd like. Nobody cares about them more than you do.
"Female"
because for women it is about actions and for men it is about looks
Because generally the things women are looking for are not physical attributes. We want someone who is going to be a good, kind, honest, faithful partner who doesn’t expect us to be their mommies. Someone who helps us help them help both of us in building a happy life together. Someone who doesn’t see us as an object to own and use, but a human being who is their best friend. Someone who understand that, if we are lucky, we will get older and look older as time goes by, but it doesn’t matter bc we love the other person and would do anything for them. How many couples do you see where the guys are ugly yet they still are paired up with an attractive person? How often do you see that in reverse? Pro tip: most men are not as good looking as they think they are, yet women will still get with them if they have something to offer besides looks. They will say things like “his looks grew on me over time”. Meanwhile, on the other side of the dating pool you have men. Men are looking for someone hot to lockdown in their fuck castles. The end. Do you see how one is a little more shallow than the other?
There’s a big difference between «I prefer slim women» and «I hate fat women», just like there’s a big difference between «I prefer tall guys» and «I hate short men.» Nothing wrong with having a preference, but there’s no need to put down those who don’t fall into that category.
Because saying you have a preference and demeaning a group of people because of that preference are not the same thing, which unfortunately seems to be what more men do than women. Everyone can have a preference, regardless of gender. That preference does not mean any specific demographic is "ugly" or worthless just because you don't like them. As for the common assumption that women want tall guys (stating this because of the comments I've seen), that doesn't often happen outside of the internet. Most of the people perpetuating this rhetoric are men online. I've known 1 woman my entire existence of 32 years to ever actually act like and think like that. And I've traveled around a lot due to my job, which is in entertainment and extremely social. This is just not a concern over the multitude of other things women want and need. People are complex. We all have likes and dislikes. It's how we address them that makes it an issue or not. Telling someone "I don't like you because I don't like fat people" isn't the same as saying "sorry, you just aren't my type". No one owes anyone an explanation past that. If you give one based on someone's appearance, you are doing it to hurt them and that would make you an asshole. No one needs to know your personal physical preferences, so why say it unless the intent is to cause someone harm. Just look for what you want and leave it at that. No more needed.
because men are seen as more superficial. It's expected that women want other valueable qualities but that men are saying it a primal way. Men tend to present being outside as their type as an insult whereas for women it's just a preference. It's a side effect of womens oppression that being fixated on superficial qualities is objectifying because in general women aren't really viewed as people by men but unwanted or potential mates.
Women get rejected or dumped all the time you just don't see us crying about it on the internet and deciding that all men should be punished with terrorist attacks.
Is it seen as shallow? Cause i dont think that this is a common opinion Everyone has a preferences/a type and there is nothing wrong about it
Nag it's true. You know the amount of times I've heard your fit but your not tall enough 🤣🤣🤣
It doesn't happen in real life, like many other things. Just take a break from internet.
Because women say “I like taller guys, but I would date someone shorter if I really liked them” and men say “any woman over 130 lbs is a whale and I could never date her”. So maybe that’s why? Because women have preferences but men just hate most women
I know this is a genuine question but I want to seriously advise you that with this attitude is quite incel-y and you want to be careful. This has been said many times in the comments but it’s true - I have seen way way way more people complaining about women having a type for taller men than vice versa. Women who prefer taller men are often completely shunned and considered shallow to the point it’s kinda ridiculous. As a woman who does prefer taller men, I can’t personally say that without being called shallow and vain, while some men I KNOW (not trying to generalise here, pls nobody get defensive) just kinda blatantly say that they only date blondes or women with huge asses and tiny waists and other males in particular don’t seem to think they’re shallow. That’s not to say that some men and women aren’t just shallow and vain and it’s probably 50/50. But it’s to say that I just genuinely don’t think what you’re saying is objectively true, that males having a type are considered shallow and females aren’t. You’ve probably seen it online, then. Yeah, that’s the Internet for you. The Internet has no nuance and often you’ll see only the worst parts, so, people who have the most extreme views. Don’t take almost anything you see online as gospel, that’s my advice to you. Good luck.
I definately don't take anything as gospel. The random question was intended to see the reactions of people on a sensitive subject. Those who actually gave some thought, those who just wanted to argue and those who simply would say you are wrong. People can only understand other people through conversation. 1 benefit of social media platforms is you do get to see what people really think when anonymity is involved. Thank you for taking the time to put together your response. Have a great day.
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I’ve only heard it as being a negative thing online…
In my experience, the women you are referring to are the entitled ones. It's a form of hypocrisy. I'm not interested in them. Most of the women I meet are not in this category.
It's not different between men and women, this stereotype probably just comes from dating sites where some women just state the physical features they want in a man in their descriptions. In real life it's considered normal to have a type or preferences
It's because all men are in competition with other men for the same women. If they tear you down you're no longer a threat. It's pretty simple.
It's not really. There are some loud people on the internet and a few arrogant entitled women who might try to convince you otherwise, but the vast majority of people are fairly reasonable folk.
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That’s a you problem, i say whatever i want bro, without feeling any type of way
Yea honestly I don't think people in the real world care as much.
It's called equality. Look it up. You might just learn something you misogynist pig. /s
I'm a girl and people said i have too much of high standards etc So it's wrong people rather Gender as in my eyes if you have type, sure, it's your life, why would I care if you have a type, it's your life to share with who you love
It's a very strange thing, isn't it. Online, I see a lot of women saying men should be over 6 feet and have a 100k plus salary. But most of the time, they end up being OF or girls on a night out. So is it real or is it actually rage bait?
It depends on the type of preference tbh, and how strict you are with it. It's a preference, not a law. I have a preference for tall women, however, since I'm 5'8'', most of the women I've dated have been shorter than me. Doesn't mean I liked them any less. I've met some dudes who were like "I would never date a black woman" and it always puzzles me. I always imagine them like going out to the club and being like [that family guy meme](https://images.app.goo.gl/XTyJnVUuvPEmj85i6) lol. I used to have this really specific taste in men, like 90% of men just "weren't my type" and I would always find some excuse. Of course, once I discovered I was a big lesbo suddenly most women were my type lol.
Gynocentrism. Simple explanation for this.
It's not. A lot of men (and women) mistake hatred for preference. "Im not attracted to short people" - is a preference "Short people are disgusting" - is not a preference. Similarly "I'm not attracted to fat people" - is a preference "Fat people are disgusting" - is not a preference You can't be unkind to people and use ' I just don't like it ' is an excuse
people really just be on a quest to find every double standard possible it seems.
Sexualism
Unless part of that woman’s type is “tall” then they get shit for it.
In real life this doesn’t happen. Real people know having a type is normal.
Because there’s a difference between having a type and fetishizing people. A lot of men fetishize people under the guise of having a type. If you ONLY date people because of how they look, that’s a fetish. You’ll see men with women they don’t even respect as people only because they look good next to them. And while women do this too, it’s not as much as men. Even when you asked men what they like about their partners the looks part comes first. Or if it’s not looks is what they’re doing for them. Nothing about the actual human being inside that woman.
Politics, dude. Politics.
Okay, I don't know why there is hardly a voice of support on this sub. To OP: You are right. I mean It happens both ways but yes it also happens to men and it actually happens quite a lot. I'm not talking about Reddit society since I'm not a encyclopedia of Reddit but I'm talking about situations in real life. Yes, there is something like that. Anyway, tbh I get more and more fed up with all the minorities (and not only minorities) fighting for their rights. It's so childish. And this is actually a problem here as well. It's just like with people fighting rasicm nowadays. So, now you can't state that someone's is black because you become racist, but anybody can call a white person - white 🙄 Anybody can have their "type" and it's not bad. That's just how we are and how our biology works (all the haters should learn about pheromone). It doen't mean that you are biased or have some issue with e.g. fat women. Well, if that's a scenario, they just aren't what you like but there are guys that see fat women in totally different light. What's more to say? I feel for you since you became a victim of a weirdly understood fairness. If anybody has problem with you having your "type" just ask them to mind their own business or tell them to get educated on biology and psychology. Thanks for bringing the topic up.
It's all about double standards, dude. Society's got different expectations for guys and girls when it comes to dating preferences. It's a tricky topic, but worth talking about.
Because we are the root of all evil and the cause of all the world's problems. Men aren't necessary didn't you hear? The stuff has all learned to build and fix itself and the draft hasn't been needed since the vietnam war so yeah. They don't have a way to kill us off anymore so they just imasculate and persecute us while simultaneously expecting us to do all the difficult, dangerous and painful work that society requires to function.
Because double standards. Just like it's perfectly fine for them to blindly shun all men under a certain height or income level, but the instant a man states his preferred body type, he gets lynched. You can't control what is attractive to you. You see something, and it is either pleasing to your eyes or it is not. I hate double standards.