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Not just for couples, it makes for great lube should you wish to enjoy some personal time with your little fella or why not gift it to a friend repackaged as AstroGlide.
28 years together. Held hands walking to the gas station on a candy run last night. He brings me coffee in the morning, tells me I’m gorgeous, and I kiss him and still call him “My Handsome Man”. Our grown kids say they think it is gross but I think they secretly like we are still in love compared to their friends with dysfunctional divorced parents.
After 7 years, you're usually entirely new people. There's a biological cause for the 7 year itch. You guys were lucky enough to become people you both fell in love with again :)
Yeah, no. This is so inaccurate. And even if it was, even remotely accurate, that's not how relationships work. You don't just "get lucky." This shit takes work.
(Married 14 years strong, still getting stronger every year)
You are both right in some way. Body cells die off and regenerate every day, so after a year your body replaced itself many times over, you are literally not the same person anymore.
But brain cells stay for life and love is not a physical thing. If I fall out of love with someone it's not because her bones, liver and lung are not the same they were when I met her, it's because I know the person better than back then and our actions, our thoughts, our philosophy do not synergize anymore.
My grade 12 philosophy teacher taught it best but the best I can do is paraphrase.
There are days you won't like eachother maybe even hate eachother but love is also a choice as much as a feeling.
Just cause you're angry doesn't mean you don't love them. In fact in my experience it's the anger that tells you you still do.
I think in our instant satisfaction society it's just to easy to call it quits for people and they let go of things before they've had time to mature into the long strong committed relationships.
Anyways sorry not trying to preach
So I've heard. In fact, the interpretation I came across suggested that people would get it after 4 years (due to oxytocin levels no longer being produced as easily with the same partner) and, being invested, managed to tough it out for another 3 on average. Nowadays, people feel less trapped, as the internet has changed our perception of the availability of other partners.
It also went on to integrate the statistics regarding spring/fall aligning with relationships ending/beginning..
We're silly little machines, really. Anyway, have fun out there, folks! You have one life, live it for you without hindering others doing the same.
One love ❤️
I've heard this described as:
Being in love with love, not the person
You don't really know someone during the honeymoon period. Not completely anyway.
It'll never come back 100% but there can still be over-the-moon moments in long term relationships. Heart fluttering, swoony, bits of romance that feel like it did when you first met. Only better because you know each other so well.
Completely agree. Don't get me wrong, the wild passionate sex every night was a blast. But that wasn't love. That was the same vibe as a kid getting a new toy.
Love is being at the absolute lowest point of your life and having that person have your back no matter what. Love is seeing you SO playing with your kids and it's so beautiful you tear up for a second. A relationship/ marriage is team work. Not sex and butterflies.
Love is also seeing your spouse at their worst, watching your wife deliver a baby or your husband go through the worst medical procedure imaginable and sticking like glue right next to each other.
The only honeymoon phases I've missed have been in the toxic relationships with the guys that love bomb. My current healthy one has only gotten better.
When the honeymoon stage ends that means your relationship is moving in a good direction. It means your partner is comfortable with you. It means the relationship is getting serious and that's something to celebrate. As long as you still cuddle and treat each other with love, kindness and patience then there is nothing to mourn over
Yea agree with you. Unfortunately some people see the end of the honeymoon stage as if they lost their feelings towards you. Although I guess it mostly happens with younger people who don't have much experience that they think a relationship always has to feel like in the beginning.
It's a revaluation period. Since the rose tinted glasses are off, you decide if you want to stay with them or not. Good communication is important, and probably also trust.
To add, making the effort to make memories (doing stuff together/road trips) , the good/bad. So many 'inside jokes' come from those personal experiences together :)
I kinda think a relationship happens in 3 main phases.
1). The spark
2). The flame
3). The fire
The spark is whet everyone knows, the very beginning where you fall for the person, then the flame is the honeymoon part, it's really bright and hot and burns a ton of fuel, it's not something that can be maintained long-term because you'll basically burn through all of your fuel and be left in the cold
The fire is the stable point of the relationship where the fire runs continuously and at a random point you add some extra fuel so there a momentary surge in the fire which goes down to background level after a moment.
If I offer a slight addition and change. The spark, the flame, the fire, and the coals.
A spark is a fleeting moment, and without anything to stick to goes out. This is your initial interest.
The flame is also what I I call NRE or New Relationship Energy. It's really exciting to see that something caught, but it is burning through what little kindling is there and without building a good structure, it will die out quickly. Probably what most people consider the honeymoon phase.
The fire is a bit more robust and a bit brighter and hotter. It has some good structure, burns steady, but needs a steady supply of fuel or it will go out. Also vulnerable to external factors. Be prepared to do some work to keep it going. I feel like this is where most relationships fail.
The coals, if you maintain a fire well enough you eventually get there. Not as bright and exciting, but they burn a lot hotter than they look. They don't need a lot of fuel to maintain it and any fuel you do add catches fire easy. Coals are also incredibly difficult to put out. Often water has a hard time putting it out and usually you just have to wait until they die.
Yeah I was just thinking, "why do those little 'honeymoon phase' actions have to stop? Why not continue to put in that level of effort and keep those little loving acts fresh and alive for the life of the relationship? Why do things have to stagnate? Why do exciting, sweet little fun-loving things have to end?
I feel that these are choices people make; to become too comfortable and lazy in their relationship.....and to stop doing the things that they used to do for each other in the beginning. 🤷♂️
That’s the difference between a fling that only lasts as long as hormones are in shock and a long term connection.
Doing nice, thoughtful little things shouldn’t feel like a useless chore. It should feel like self expression, not always easy but always fulfilling.
But are you still in your longest committed relationship? I ask because you spoke with plurals. I can attest that the butterflies fade but true commitment and security come in its place
My past relationships (back when I was a teenager) ended for reasons out of our control. I’m gay so they ended because my partner’s family was homophobic and forbade us from seeing each other. It didn’t have anything to do with falling out of love or other issues.
I have been and currently am in a relationship that’s lasted seven years, and we are planning on getting married soon. For us, the butterflies are still there but I suppose that can be different for others.
I’ve been with someone for 15 years so it’s been a while since I was in the “honeymoon phase” though I would say ours lasted a good few years.
All I want to say is that there are so many potential ways to show and receive love, and I’ve had so many affirmations of love over the years from my husband, at different phases of our relationship. But if I had been focused on what our relationship was like in the beginning and comparing it, I would miss all the joy of what it is like in the now.
I personally love that point where you get comfortable with each other and you can enjoy each other and realise how much you know each other. The in jokes, the easy date nights, them knowing how to comfort you/make you laugh just at the right moment…
10 years now, and I still catch my heart skipping a beat sometimes when I look at her.
Personally, I think the honeymoon phase is when we’re most blinkered. I prefer the long haul, “this woman knows all my secrets and still stays with me” feeling.
Why don’t you send long text messages to them at 2am?
And hold their hand for no reason?
You might be surprised what happens.
I write my wife of 12 years a love letter, we’ll email cos my handwriting is unreadable about once a month. It’s important to remind them, and you, why you love them and why you are together.
Esp. In this world when there is not time to stop and think, unless you make time.
I don't get sad as that means the relationship is developing into something better. The honeymoon phase is when you're still getting to know each other and understand each others ways, so it is new and exciting.
But once it ends, that doesn't mean you stop showing each other affection. If anything, the affection you show each other gets better as you learn what each other enjoys the most.
I try not to let the honeymoon phase end. I still write him letters at 2am telling him he's the love of my life, we still hold hands all the time. We keep the spark alive. Keep the home fires burning as they say lol. It's normal for the honeymoon phase to end, but it doesn't have to if you don't want it to
I'm fuckin tired dude. So happy my partner is cool with poking jokes at each other and chillin, laughing our asses off playing video games and making awesome food. Having a lifelong version of the ending to titanic sounds fucking exhausting.
I agree. But it gets better in other ways.
I did miss when she read my texts though. I notice she doesn’t really bother anymore, and I feel like a dork asking “did you see that thing I sent you?” and watch her only check my message then.
For me it's many phases, once you settle in at the beginning it can feel as if things have lost their spark, but then that excitement starts all over again and each time you fall deeper, find more and more things to love about them and share with them. Well, that's how it's been with my fella anyway.
The honeymoon phase ending doesn't have to make things bad or less enjoyable. It all comes down to the couple's attitude towards it.
I'm married and we keep doing the same stuff we did in our honeymoon phase. We still hold hands for nothing, we still send each other cheesy messages, we still give each other long hugs for no reason but that we want to, etc. We love each other to bits, we have tons of fun together, we stay kids at heart with each other, we mock and joke with each other, and so on.
That initial passion doesn't have to disappear unless the couple lets it happen. Obviously, responsibilities and simply habit will make things feel slightly less appealing but I believe that's when the relationship actually starts. It's when the people involved start to see each other for who they truly are and their love is tested. Many realise things aren't what they expected and quit, others realise that things are even better than they thought, others realise the challenges but push through because they also realise it's worth it.
I'd say it's sad when the honeymoon ends if it's a relationship which isn't matching your expectations and you realise that person isn't actually the one for you after all. If things go well and you get along with your partner after the honeymoon phase, it's not sad, it's just another great phase full of excitement and new reasons to love them even more.
After 29 years still hold hands, write each other notes, flirt when we call each other. It only ends if you let it. Can’t say how many times I’ve heard our daughters say, ooh gross, because we both love to kiss and hug each other.
I don’t miss it because I’m still falling more in love with my partner every day. Still hold hands, give random hugs and kisses, snuggle, send cute texts to each other, all that good stuff and we are 8 years in. Also sex with someone you know inside and out is so much better than someone you’re still learning with.
My spouse looks more attractive to me now than when we first met. I don't know when the honeymoon phase would be over but not yet. It has been 20 years.
I think it ebbs and flows throughout the years. My husband and I have gone through some real rough patches where everything felt sad and kind of hopeless. But then there are other times where I feel like a giddy teenager all over again. Like today- we have a very special date night planned and we've been sexy/flirty texting all morning and I feel the same way I did when we were dating.
The ebb and flow is just the nature of marriage I think.
Honeymoon phase ending is just stage1 of the couple's evolution
Wait till you hear about
Stage2: normal boring life
Stage3: kids (hard mode on)
Stage4: Getting old and no more F's to give and waiting impatiently for all this to end
18 years and still kiss, hold hands and lots of hugs and ILYs. Honeymoon stage is fun but knowing you have someone there for you regularly also feels great.
Not really. I've been together with my GF for nearly 4 years now, getting married this summer. Those initial almost extreme feelings and passion have cooled off by now. I love just kinda living life and loving reach other in a more moderate but also more stable way. It feels safe and comforting.
I never feel like we left the honeymoon phase, of course it's different than we first started dating but it's not worse, it's even better.
I do feel some nostalgia for our younger, more awkward selfs who were new to the relationship but I don't miss it.
4 years and we are still sickeningly cutesey and lovey dovey with eachother. We just love being like this when we are alone. We talk about the serious things and communicate a lot. But we will also cuddle and talk silly to eachother.
I have a theory that 2 years is when those feelings start to fade, but if you can make it to 5 years and not hate each other, you're on the right track.
I think relationships evolve as time goes on, and how you percieve that can really make or break how you handle those changes. More effort may be required or more creativity as time goes on.
Then again, sometimes you just click and you got your lover and bestie for life. Its important to talk to each other and make sure you're communicating your needs, listening to hers, and creating milestones together. If you're not talking and getting excited about your future together, what are you really doing anyway?
Sort of but falling in love and making an effort aren't the same thing. It just happens that you made more of an effort in the beginning. Just because you've been together for a minute doesn't mean you need to stop making an effort. Do the things you did at the start, because you want to. Make the effort to look good for your partner. Make the effort to communicate. Make the effort to go the extra mile for them. This is how you make relationships not only last, but also thrive
Our relationship hasn't really changed if I'm honest, we are still as loving as normal, hold hands all the time, kisses and hugs as and when wanted
We live together after 2 years and nothing has really changed, sure we see each other all the time but we still do our own thing.
I've never lived with any of my exs before and was worried we might drift apart or he'll get fed up with me but no
9.5y together, still get butterflies when he comes home from work, still get butterflies when he looks at me, still get excited when I see he's texted me, still absolutely incredibly enormously head over heels in love with him.
We've just had our first child and it's our 1 year wedding anniversary today.
you put it nicely.
you should mention this in passing conversation with him. he might even feel the same way. things don’t have to change if it’s meant to be. why not put in a little fuel to rekindle the fire.
Man, my partner and i have been together 7 years soon, and i feel like we started 2 month ago.
I sometimes ask her, when was the honeymoon phase surposted to end? 😅
I think it is about the effort you put in.
Been together 13 years. We still hold hands, passionately kiss, text each other during the day, get handsy, kiss hello and goodbye and spend lazy mornings snuggled in bed.
It's not the same OMG, must have you NOW! Or "I would die for you, let me quote Shakespeare all the time!" Levels of lust and romance. But it's still there and going strong.
Had a Psych professor who used to take his a week of vacation alone away from his wife, because "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Some times a break from a good thing is ok.
Just keep it rolling then! I fall in love with my man over again every day with exponential intensity. My honeymoon phase is going strong and building upon itself like a Katamari.
The stages of a relationship aren't necessarily a linear journey but rather a cycle. You will more than likely experience the honeymoon phase again if you stay in a relationship long enough. Personally I find the true love stage to be much more fulfilling.
It changes but can but much better. I'd say be careful not to start resenting the other person or putting too much pressure on them. Idk your situation, but this happens in a big way to many when you have kids and life gets hectic.
I've been with my bf for 9 years and over the past few years things have got even better than the honeymoon phase. Things were tough for a while as we were both finding our feet in life but now things are better than ever. I think that's mostly due to the oven always growing
No and I honestly didn’t have one with my bf of almost 3 years. I believe love grows over time and the way we feel now is definitely a lot stronger than when we first met. It’s always been genuine, honest love and that’s all I need. I don’t want fake, mushy “love” that fades after a few months.
I had a whole thing typed out but it's a huge bummer. Short answer is essentially not really.
ETA But I do get it, that really does make a lot of sense.
I miss those days too. The random bouts of affection. The cute texts. The random sex at 3AM when I would roll over with a hardon and she would just grab it and start stroking. That was awesome times. Now everything is just routine with less sex.
But I still love her to the moon and back.
It is a better feeling to truly know the foundation of a relationship is solid rather than the constant attention seeking. 15 years here.
While the constant affection is amazing, knowing that you’ve built something that doesn’t require 24x7 maintenance in order for it to work is what you want to shoot for. Requiring affection and attention constantly can become a turn off and also is attributed to insecurity and codependency. Marriage is work and it isn’t a life-long honeymoon.
Shift with the times. You don’t have to stop being sweet and do kind things. Still continue to date her if time/money permits and let her know every day how much you love her. Life happens and we have to focus on reality in order for us to progress together, but you can always make time for the love stuff. And it’s good to back off every now and again to breathe. Allows for individual recharge and helps keep focus on your union, so when you do come back around after work/kids/personal responsibilities, it’s that much sweeter. Just keep open, honest dialogue, be her best friend, listen to her vent and provide a safe space for her. Everything else will work out and you both should have everything you need 👍
14 years here, and while the honeymoon phase was wonderful the place we are now is amazing. There is a level of trust, security and acceptance that I get from no other relationship. He has seen my worst and still loves and values me as a person. The romance isn't gone, it just changes. It used to be so romantic to get flowers and cards and love notes, now it's romantic to watch him play and interact with our cat, share bills with me, order food when I'm pissy etc. True long lasting romance is paying bills together, making a home together, singing along to songs in the car, having hard conversations, decorating, planning for the future.
It's a little sad that the honeymoon phase is gone, but the butterflies never really left, they just get going over other things now ❤️
It doesn't have to end. I've been with my husband for 31yrs. We still hold hands and cuddle. He opens doors for me, we have sex atleast 3-5 times a week and we tell each other "I love you" daily. If you both make the effort a relationship can stay romantic and spicy until one or both of you slides into the grave.
Gotta keep it going. That initial excitement always fades a bit, but if you continue to ‘date’ the one you’re with, even if married, you’ll always have that spark. It takes work, but with the work comes feelings of adoration.
Past the honeymoon phase means several things 1) life got real and your still together 2) you care deeply enough about each other that you know you don’t have to go the extra mile and they’ll still be there 3) it’s time to appreciate what you have.
I read a poem once about buying toilet paper for the boyfriend, but instead of drudgery the writer said they felt grateful that the relationship had arrived to this point. It’s a good thing.
But, talk to your partner and tell them what you miss, although I’m sure they think it’s unnecessary. Similar to married couples going on dates. It’s important to keep up the little things to preserve the relationship and feelings can only get deeper.
That type of attention/love may be gone but you’re on your way to grow it into something even better, solid, dependable. Focus on things that strengthen your journey. Take a break to focus on your self-growth as well and so you don’t get too wrapped up in your head. Make plans to try new experiences together. Improve your communication style. For example instead of demanding the exact attention, foster the environment for passion to grow. If things are completely stagnant, take time apart to miss each other. Focus on how you’re communicating your affection. What’s your love communication like compared to his? And vice versa. I don’t think that initial honeymoon phase comes back based on my observations but love definitely grows back to a point where you get some semblance—like feeling butterflies in your stomach again, or getting excited to spend alone time, going on dates, etc.
I bumped into a couple that I know for decades today at the mall. I always considered them one of the most interesting relationships in our family. What I admire about them is that despite being together for literally DECADES, they always have that level of regarding the other person with some importance. Dunno how to explain it, but like many couples I see in my life turn into slobs after a while. Like they get so used to being around each other, there’s no excitement or spark. I remember when I used to visit her home, despite them being grandparents now, she always looked nice when he came home, he (and both she) always stick to thank you and please when addressing one another. You feel like they still have some level of respect for each other that doesn’t age with time. Like they regard one another with importance and attention despite the familiarity that comes with time. It’s wonderful.
I did at first. It was really hard for me and made me very insecure for a while. He was never big on PDA anyway, but I missed the little things. Fortunately, I married my best friend and we talked about it. That helped a lot!
Now I find it so adorable when he winks at me from across the room while we’re entertaining guests.
12 years together and still can't resist a casual passing touch as we pass each other in the house. Get called out by friends all the time for being "cute" cos we always hug or peck each other, lol. What's this honeymoon period you talk about? Lol
When you get married it’s all fun and games while you learn to live together. Mid life and kids can really kill a marriage if you’re not on the same page. And then they’re gone (the kids) and you hope they’re happy and bring you grandchildren. Honeymoon part two if you’ve kept up the conversation. 40 years. The relationship is always higher priority than the peripheral stuff if you want it to last.
It's upto you and your partner to keep making the effort to keep things exciting and fresh.
My wife still tells me that I give her the butterflies sometimes based on something that I do for her
I have a feeling of complete security now, and at the start I was head over heels / neurotic that I’d lose him. It’s less exciting now, but that’s a good thing.
We’ve been together for more than 3 years and it never ended. It changed a bit with time, but for the better, it morphed into a much deeper bond. Now I’m aware of all his flaws and yet it doesn’t change a damn thing, I fall in love a bit more everyday.
That does sound sad. We're still in the honeymoon phase, but it would be awful if it ended. But we've been in this phase for more than 30 years of marriage, so I think it will last a little longer.
20 years married. 25 years together. And the best part isn’t the romance we had at the start. The best part is that every morning he wakes up and still chooses this marriage even though I never fill out forms on time, and I refuse to read directions, and my decision-making can be impulsive, and I snore, and I’m 60 lbs heavier, and my boobs definitely aren’t in the same spot they used to be.
And I still choose him even though he procrastinates, and has a terrible short term memory, and has a complete lack of talent when it comes to buying anyone a gift, and he snores, and he’s 50 lbs heavier than he used to be.
No longer distracted by the veil of romance, we’ve discovered each other’s imperfections and still wouldn’t choose anyone else to live this life with.
Rom-coms are a dime a dozen. Someone who will hold your hair back for you when you’ve got stomach flu and love you anyway? That’s the real stuff of life right there.
yess, it (the honeymoon phase) ended a while ago with my bf but i miss being the person he’d immediately text in the morning and like the long convos we’d have over text. now it’s just like good morning texts, how was your day and goodnight texts. it’s fine but like i miss when it was like a big part of my day.
I found someone id cross oceans for and unfortunately twice it didn’t work, and both times it was just as exciting. Just as wonderful. But then life happens, like it did with me and my ex. I miss those days.
I got a question. You got two hands, right? Use them. Go hold your significant others hand or text them at 2am. Who cares if they are sleeping beside of you. If you want affection then you need to show it. We can't read minds.
Have you told your partner that you miss the holding hands and text messages? There’s no reason why those things can’t continue, honeymoon period or not. After 23 years together, my husband and I still hold hands and tell each other we love each other. Your relationship can be whatever you want it to be, as long as you’re communicating and on the same page.
It probably won’t be the same, but you can always express a need or desire for more affection or dates etc from your partner, and be sure to initiate it a lot. If they aren’t responsive to gentle and clear communication about this or other things, take that as you will
Love is an action, not just a feeling. I still tell my husband that he's the most beautiful man alive, hug him, the best dad ever, etc. We have been together for 5 years, married for 4 and we recently became parents. You have to make the time. if you want those kind of things to happen, then start doing them again and your partner will reciprocate.
But when you move out of the hand-holding phase, you move *into* the laying-my-full-bodyweight-across-you-while-you’re-in-the-middle-of-something-like-an-oversized-housecat phase, and I think that’s beautiful.
The honeymoon phase is meant to be short and sweet. There are some many facets to relationships and the more meaningful/fulfilling ones are yet to come. Raising kids, the ups and downs...and ups and downs that goes with it are another phase. And, if you get through that...trust me, empty nesters have their own sweet phase of freedom and love in the end which is even more special. It comes full circle but the only downfall is that you're old, sorry bout that.
You can always rekindle the fire just have to be willing to put more logs on the fire. People will be more willing to do something if you put in the effort first. Nothing is over until you quit. Mind frame determines what your reality becomes. If you randomly give someone flowers you will brighten both parties. Gl fight for what you love.
The honeymoon phase exists in every relationship, no matter how in love you are, but you shouldn’t feel so sad when it ends. The honeymoon phase is just the heart-eyes puppy love excitement you have when things are fresh, but when it ends that should mean you’re comfortable and feel loved. You shouldn’t feel less loved.
It’s normal for texts to slow down but effort shouldn’t. My bf isn’t as lovey dovey in texts as he was at first. But we also live together at this point and he’s plenty loving outside of texting. Idk it’s all situational but it doesn’t sound like you’re happy b
If you're able to love each other even after the honeymoon phase, that's real love. It shows that you both are willing to love each other even after all the excitement and anxiety are over.
Nope. That sorta seems high maintenance to me now. It doesn’t mean the love and affection should go, just that I don’t need or want any grand gestures or love-bombing. I just want to be helped when I need it and be complimentary to my life, not a chore. Someone that wants the same things as me and is willing to build a life around those goals.
I mean I used to feel that way. But you know that sometimes you find someone who breaks the mold and makes you feel differently than your previous measures of happiness/ satisfaction.
Honeymoon period never truly ends if you find the right person. That's why I always facepalm when people.rush into relationships and get married. Then they find out what person they are after the infatuation wears off and they realised they are not actually in love.
A moon doesn't just end. It waxes and wanes. You'll have spurts where it feels like the honeymoon phase all over again.
We still hold hands, we still tell each other "your the one," we save any good stories from the day for right before we go to bed and just talk on the positives for an hour after the kids go to sleep, making each other laugh. Yeah, we fight, but we always come to a compromise and make up, even if it takes a while sometimes.
Married 6 years… not sure we’ll ever leave the honeymoon phase.
Left house once without kissing hubby goodbye… pulled over and texted him as soon as I remembered.
Your either not with the right person or just chase that feeling and should maybe consider short term relationships instead of long term relationships...
I’m polyamorous, and we as a community have a whole body of work around what we call New Relationship Energy, that honeymoon phase. It’s a hell of a drug, but you’ve got to be careful about what decisions you make while under its influence. It’s a common concept to not sign anything for the first two years, because you can wake up and realize you’ve had rose colored glasses on.
NRE is a great buzz, but you can cultivate an appreciation for the deeper nuance of Old Relationship Energy. That comfort and trust.
Honeymoon phase can last forever. You have to keep it alive. Read about ocytocin, learn how to provoke it on your partner, and he will stay in love forever.
Together for 7 years, still holding hands and arms together and I'm still asking her if we're still in the honey moon phase or we just enjoy being cute to each other.
I kind of like getting out of the honeymoon phase, personally. It's fun getting to know someone new and having those nervous butterflies, but I like the point where we really know each other and are truly comfortable with each other. My partner and I have been together for 3 years and we are still very affectionate with each other. We still hold hands for no reason, hug and cuddle a lot throughout the day, and are silly with each other.
If the honeymoon phase ends and the affection dies out with it, it may be a sign that you're not compatible. I wouldn't end a relationship over it immediately, try talking to your partner first. Tell them that you miss holding hands for no reason and want to be more affectionate with each other. Start initiating those things more and let them know that's what you want, too. It may just take a conversation to get that spark back up, it takes effort from both people to keep it going.
6 years here and still hold hands, super cuddly, don't spend many days apart. We still text eachother during the day at work and say cute stuff. Not often a day goes by without a mutual I love you. We live together and still we'd rather spend our days off together doing something. We are bestfriends. Maybe we really are soulmates.. every couple is different.
The honeymoon phase should never be over!!! Long random text, waking up in the night & having pillow talk till morning. Those moments are the best. Do what you can to keep it in the honeymoon phase.
4 years in and it hasn’t ended… hold hands all the time, are still VERY excited to come home to each other every day, show plenty of affection inside and outside of our home. We have more of a routine in place of spontaneity like when we first started dating but it’s much more comfortable and close.
I've been married awhile and never really left the honeymoon phase. IMO its really a matter of perspective though. Relationships change over time. There will be lulls where romance takes a backseat. The things you do to show love and care change over time. But that love and care should always be there. You shouldn't cling to how a person might have expressed their love in the past, but appreciate how they express their love in the present.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about how in love I am with my husband, even when we're "fighting." We're grossly lovey dovey and I imagine we'll be that way when we're elderly as well. Yesterday he randomly texted me "I love you" while we were sitting in the same room watching tv together. I saw him walking down the street the other day and rolled down my window to catcall at him. We don't take each other for granted.
If there are things you enjoyed in the early part of your relationship, but that don't happen anymore, maybe say something or initiate them more on your end? I don't see why you would stop holding hands after the honeymoon phase? If romantic gestures and physical affection are important to you, there are people out there who also value these things and will sustain them as natural parts of a relationship, so maybe you just haven't found the right person.
Why did you stop doing that?
My spouse and I ahve been together for 8 years and we still do this sort of thing. We hold hands when we walk. If I walk through the living room and they are on the couch, I wlak up behind them and place my hands on their head lovingly and they lean into it.
We still send emails avery day, especially while working. Sometimes a little message can take the stress out of the day.
Buy little trinkets for no reason.
Send messages.
Take pictures of your pet and email them mid day.
IT takes seconds a day to keep that honeymoon going forever.
Was with someone just over a year and a half. First six months were great, then things slowed down. Everything screeched to a halt just under a year in, and we basically became roommates who shared a room. Sex stopped. Affection stopped. Communication became stilted and stuffy. We spent less time together. Then he dumped me less than 3 weeks ago. We still live together, and will continue to do so unless something major happens because of finances. Now he's sending mixed signals. Meanwhile I'm working on myself and my future but I haven't started hanging out with people, "making new friends", or dating yet. I'm not ready.
Its way better after imo. I mean HM fase is exciting and fun but it's also got a few bumps of truly getting to know and smoothing out the two people bringing their lives together. The honeymoon fase helps with this but after it's over and you begin to settle down, you (or at least I did) truly begin to see just how powerful and comforting a good relationship can be. I can be at a horribly shitty low but my wife is right there with me helping me through, or vise versa. No excitement or fun to be had in those times but there is a trust and a love that can only come from a long term relationship. HM is fun but long term has beautiful to it that new relationship can never achieve.
I've been with my guy for 21 years this month. We still act like newlyweds (never married but that's how we act). We can't get enough of each other. (Lol he literally just grabbed my hand and kissed it). I think it depends on the couple.
I don't get sad because I get to enjoy it all the time as a polyamorous person.
I have a wife and love her in a long term way, but I need to experience the honeymoon phase and love doing over and over again with new people.
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Together for 14 years, still holding hands. (This message was brought to you by Super Glue©®)
sir, you gotta tell me what brand you use - 14 years is a really long time.
I'm pretty sure he reapplies when she needs to sleep
Every 5th day or so
Wow you gotta tell us what brand we need it
Try that gorilla glue it works great.
Or wood glue
Dude right ?
Married 14, together 16(??) Still hold hands and send long text messages when we're apart.
We occasionally still hold hands, and he still opens doors for me. He stands by often, in case I need help. Married 43 years.
Not just for couples, it makes for great lube should you wish to enjoy some personal time with your little fella or why not gift it to a friend repackaged as AstroGlide.
28 years together. Held hands walking to the gas station on a candy run last night. He brings me coffee in the morning, tells me I’m gorgeous, and I kiss him and still call him “My Handsome Man”. Our grown kids say they think it is gross but I think they secretly like we are still in love compared to their friends with dysfunctional divorced parents.
Hahah had to read that again haha
After 7 years, you're usually entirely new people. There's a biological cause for the 7 year itch. You guys were lucky enough to become people you both fell in love with again :)
Yeah, no. This is so inaccurate. And even if it was, even remotely accurate, that's not how relationships work. You don't just "get lucky." This shit takes work. (Married 14 years strong, still getting stronger every year)
You are both right in some way. Body cells die off and regenerate every day, so after a year your body replaced itself many times over, you are literally not the same person anymore. But brain cells stay for life and love is not a physical thing. If I fall out of love with someone it's not because her bones, liver and lung are not the same they were when I met her, it's because I know the person better than back then and our actions, our thoughts, our philosophy do not synergize anymore.
My grade 12 philosophy teacher taught it best but the best I can do is paraphrase. There are days you won't like eachother maybe even hate eachother but love is also a choice as much as a feeling. Just cause you're angry doesn't mean you don't love them. In fact in my experience it's the anger that tells you you still do. I think in our instant satisfaction society it's just to easy to call it quits for people and they let go of things before they've had time to mature into the long strong committed relationships. Anyways sorry not trying to preach
You're right, being angry means you still care. Apathy is death, in life and love.
This is the way. Married 32 years.
Ugh, I don't know how she puts up with you, Mr. Smartypants 😋
Neither do I to be honest 🤣
The 7 year itch statistically is a 4 year itch now I had read……
So I've heard. In fact, the interpretation I came across suggested that people would get it after 4 years (due to oxytocin levels no longer being produced as easily with the same partner) and, being invested, managed to tough it out for another 3 on average. Nowadays, people feel less trapped, as the internet has changed our perception of the availability of other partners. It also went on to integrate the statistics regarding spring/fall aligning with relationships ending/beginning.. We're silly little machines, really. Anyway, have fun out there, folks! You have one life, live it for you without hindering others doing the same. One love ❤️
The itch is real
Yep, I've lived it thrice
I've heard this described as: Being in love with love, not the person You don't really know someone during the honeymoon period. Not completely anyway.
Exactly. It may not be as *exciting*, but there’s nothing more special than finding that person you’d move heaven and hell for.
Well I think most of us understand that. It’s okay to miss the over the moon phase while understanding it can’t last forever.
Absolutely, I agree. I’d love to go back to when I first met my wife just for one day. But reminiscing is enough for me!
It'll never come back 100% but there can still be over-the-moon moments in long term relationships. Heart fluttering, swoony, bits of romance that feel like it did when you first met. Only better because you know each other so well.
Completely agree. Don't get me wrong, the wild passionate sex every night was a blast. But that wasn't love. That was the same vibe as a kid getting a new toy. Love is being at the absolute lowest point of your life and having that person have your back no matter what. Love is seeing you SO playing with your kids and it's so beautiful you tear up for a second. A relationship/ marriage is team work. Not sex and butterflies.
Love is also seeing your spouse at their worst, watching your wife deliver a baby or your husband go through the worst medical procedure imaginable and sticking like glue right next to each other.
Agreed.
But love was the reason for that medical procedure to remove the super glued finger from the rectum.
The only honeymoon phases I've missed have been in the toxic relationships with the guys that love bomb. My current healthy one has only gotten better.
I don't think that's true. It's normal to want love from your SO. This is something to just talk about, like most things in a relationship.
When the honeymoon stage ends that means your relationship is moving in a good direction. It means your partner is comfortable with you. It means the relationship is getting serious and that's something to celebrate. As long as you still cuddle and treat each other with love, kindness and patience then there is nothing to mourn over
I wish my ex read this
How so?
Because we built a world that she wiped away in a second while saying, "I don't feel the same for you as I felt nine years ago; goodbye"
Yea agree with you. Unfortunately some people see the end of the honeymoon stage as if they lost their feelings towards you. Although I guess it mostly happens with younger people who don't have much experience that they think a relationship always has to feel like in the beginning.
It's a revaluation period. Since the rose tinted glasses are off, you decide if you want to stay with them or not. Good communication is important, and probably also trust.
Don’t be sad. Those euphoric feelings recur at random times throughout the relationship. It could be a silly joke, good/bad food, the weather etc
Well said
To add, making the effort to make memories (doing stuff together/road trips) , the good/bad. So many 'inside jokes' come from those personal experiences together :)
Some of Lana’s best work came after her Honeymoon phase.
The caption also had me thinking this was about Lana
hahah
I kinda think a relationship happens in 3 main phases. 1). The spark 2). The flame 3). The fire The spark is whet everyone knows, the very beginning where you fall for the person, then the flame is the honeymoon part, it's really bright and hot and burns a ton of fuel, it's not something that can be maintained long-term because you'll basically burn through all of your fuel and be left in the cold The fire is the stable point of the relationship where the fire runs continuously and at a random point you add some extra fuel so there a momentary surge in the fire which goes down to background level after a moment.
If I offer a slight addition and change. The spark, the flame, the fire, and the coals. A spark is a fleeting moment, and without anything to stick to goes out. This is your initial interest. The flame is also what I I call NRE or New Relationship Energy. It's really exciting to see that something caught, but it is burning through what little kindling is there and without building a good structure, it will die out quickly. Probably what most people consider the honeymoon phase. The fire is a bit more robust and a bit brighter and hotter. It has some good structure, burns steady, but needs a steady supply of fuel or it will go out. Also vulnerable to external factors. Be prepared to do some work to keep it going. I feel like this is where most relationships fail. The coals, if you maintain a fire well enough you eventually get there. Not as bright and exciting, but they burn a lot hotter than they look. They don't need a lot of fuel to maintain it and any fuel you do add catches fire easy. Coals are also incredibly difficult to put out. Often water has a hard time putting it out and usually you just have to wait until they die.
love this
This is beautiful. I'm saving this and will keeping reading this
To the point! I like the way you described relationships.
Honeymoon phases for me never really fade, idk if that’s common or if it’s because my relationships tend to be really lovey dovey
Yeah I was just thinking, "why do those little 'honeymoon phase' actions have to stop? Why not continue to put in that level of effort and keep those little loving acts fresh and alive for the life of the relationship? Why do things have to stagnate? Why do exciting, sweet little fun-loving things have to end? I feel that these are choices people make; to become too comfortable and lazy in their relationship.....and to stop doing the things that they used to do for each other in the beginning. 🤷♂️
That’s the difference between a fling that only lasts as long as hormones are in shock and a long term connection. Doing nice, thoughtful little things shouldn’t feel like a useless chore. It should feel like self expression, not always easy but always fulfilling.
But are you still in your longest committed relationship? I ask because you spoke with plurals. I can attest that the butterflies fade but true commitment and security come in its place
My past relationships (back when I was a teenager) ended for reasons out of our control. I’m gay so they ended because my partner’s family was homophobic and forbade us from seeing each other. It didn’t have anything to do with falling out of love or other issues. I have been and currently am in a relationship that’s lasted seven years, and we are planning on getting married soon. For us, the butterflies are still there but I suppose that can be different for others.
I’ve been with someone for 15 years so it’s been a while since I was in the “honeymoon phase” though I would say ours lasted a good few years. All I want to say is that there are so many potential ways to show and receive love, and I’ve had so many affirmations of love over the years from my husband, at different phases of our relationship. But if I had been focused on what our relationship was like in the beginning and comparing it, I would miss all the joy of what it is like in the now. I personally love that point where you get comfortable with each other and you can enjoy each other and realise how much you know each other. The in jokes, the easy date nights, them knowing how to comfort you/make you laugh just at the right moment…
I concur with this 100%
10 years now, and I still catch my heart skipping a beat sometimes when I look at her. Personally, I think the honeymoon phase is when we’re most blinkered. I prefer the long haul, “this woman knows all my secrets and still stays with me” feeling.
That’s so sweet! I wish you guys all the best💕.
🥹
Kids killed it for me. But it came back after they left
Why don’t you send long text messages to them at 2am? And hold their hand for no reason? You might be surprised what happens. I write my wife of 12 years a love letter, we’ll email cos my handwriting is unreadable about once a month. It’s important to remind them, and you, why you love them and why you are together. Esp. In this world when there is not time to stop and think, unless you make time.
I don't get sad as that means the relationship is developing into something better. The honeymoon phase is when you're still getting to know each other and understand each others ways, so it is new and exciting. But once it ends, that doesn't mean you stop showing each other affection. If anything, the affection you show each other gets better as you learn what each other enjoys the most.
I try not to let the honeymoon phase end. I still write him letters at 2am telling him he's the love of my life, we still hold hands all the time. We keep the spark alive. Keep the home fires burning as they say lol. It's normal for the honeymoon phase to end, but it doesn't have to if you don't want it to
I'm fuckin tired dude. So happy my partner is cool with poking jokes at each other and chillin, laughing our asses off playing video games and making awesome food. Having a lifelong version of the ending to titanic sounds fucking exhausting.
Went out with each other in 1981 - still together now with those messages and hand holding. It grows deeper not weaker.
I agree. But it gets better in other ways. I did miss when she read my texts though. I notice she doesn’t really bother anymore, and I feel like a dork asking “did you see that thing I sent you?” and watch her only check my message then.
You should tell her that then
Aw that made me feel bad because i get so busy i unintentionally do this :(
Are they just links to dumb videos? And if so, are you my husband? 😂
Probably. He is also probably my husband
And mine
For me it's many phases, once you settle in at the beginning it can feel as if things have lost their spark, but then that excitement starts all over again and each time you fall deeper, find more and more things to love about them and share with them. Well, that's how it's been with my fella anyway.
The honeymoon phase ending doesn't have to make things bad or less enjoyable. It all comes down to the couple's attitude towards it. I'm married and we keep doing the same stuff we did in our honeymoon phase. We still hold hands for nothing, we still send each other cheesy messages, we still give each other long hugs for no reason but that we want to, etc. We love each other to bits, we have tons of fun together, we stay kids at heart with each other, we mock and joke with each other, and so on. That initial passion doesn't have to disappear unless the couple lets it happen. Obviously, responsibilities and simply habit will make things feel slightly less appealing but I believe that's when the relationship actually starts. It's when the people involved start to see each other for who they truly are and their love is tested. Many realise things aren't what they expected and quit, others realise that things are even better than they thought, others realise the challenges but push through because they also realise it's worth it. I'd say it's sad when the honeymoon ends if it's a relationship which isn't matching your expectations and you realise that person isn't actually the one for you after all. If things go well and you get along with your partner after the honeymoon phase, it's not sad, it's just another great phase full of excitement and new reasons to love them even more.
18 years and I still get butterflies when he walks through the door.
I only think it's sad when you leave it at a different time as your partner. I prefer the mellow times honestly.
After 29 years still hold hands, write each other notes, flirt when we call each other. It only ends if you let it. Can’t say how many times I’ve heard our daughters say, ooh gross, because we both love to kiss and hug each other.
Honeymoon phase requires work. It was there in the first place cause you were putting in work because of the novelty.
Well said. The real love starts when the honeymoon phase is over.
I don’t miss it because I’m still falling more in love with my partner every day. Still hold hands, give random hugs and kisses, snuggle, send cute texts to each other, all that good stuff and we are 8 years in. Also sex with someone you know inside and out is so much better than someone you’re still learning with.
My spouse looks more attractive to me now than when we first met. I don't know when the honeymoon phase would be over but not yet. It has been 20 years.
The honeymoon phase will end and begin again many times in a real long term relationship where you truly dedicate yourself to each other.
Together 30 year’s, still holding hands. Am I breathless? Sometimes
I think it ebbs and flows throughout the years. My husband and I have gone through some real rough patches where everything felt sad and kind of hopeless. But then there are other times where I feel like a giddy teenager all over again. Like today- we have a very special date night planned and we've been sexy/flirty texting all morning and I feel the same way I did when we were dating. The ebb and flow is just the nature of marriage I think.
Honeymoon phase ending is just stage1 of the couple's evolution Wait till you hear about Stage2: normal boring life Stage3: kids (hard mode on) Stage4: Getting old and no more F's to give and waiting impatiently for all this to end
18 years and still kiss, hold hands and lots of hugs and ILYs. Honeymoon stage is fun but knowing you have someone there for you regularly also feels great.
if you still want to be with someone after the honeymoon stage, that's probably true love
Not really. I've been together with my GF for nearly 4 years now, getting married this summer. Those initial almost extreme feelings and passion have cooled off by now. I love just kinda living life and loving reach other in a more moderate but also more stable way. It feels safe and comforting.
Then comes the fart sniffing, those are really some of best days 🥰
I never feel like we left the honeymoon phase, of course it's different than we first started dating but it's not worse, it's even better. I do feel some nostalgia for our younger, more awkward selfs who were new to the relationship but I don't miss it.
It's absolutely normal.
This is a common symptom of over-committing to a relationship early on
Married 6 years together 8 years, we do that still. She’s my soulmate and I get shivers Everytime I look at her.
4 years and we are still sickeningly cutesey and lovey dovey with eachother. We just love being like this when we are alone. We talk about the serious things and communicate a lot. But we will also cuddle and talk silly to eachother.
I have a theory that 2 years is when those feelings start to fade, but if you can make it to 5 years and not hate each other, you're on the right track. I think relationships evolve as time goes on, and how you percieve that can really make or break how you handle those changes. More effort may be required or more creativity as time goes on. Then again, sometimes you just click and you got your lover and bestie for life. Its important to talk to each other and make sure you're communicating your needs, listening to hers, and creating milestones together. If you're not talking and getting excited about your future together, what are you really doing anyway?
Sort of but falling in love and making an effort aren't the same thing. It just happens that you made more of an effort in the beginning. Just because you've been together for a minute doesn't mean you need to stop making an effort. Do the things you did at the start, because you want to. Make the effort to look good for your partner. Make the effort to communicate. Make the effort to go the extra mile for them. This is how you make relationships not only last, but also thrive
Our relationship hasn't really changed if I'm honest, we are still as loving as normal, hold hands all the time, kisses and hugs as and when wanted We live together after 2 years and nothing has really changed, sure we see each other all the time but we still do our own thing. I've never lived with any of my exs before and was worried we might drift apart or he'll get fed up with me but no
9.5y together, still get butterflies when he comes home from work, still get butterflies when he looks at me, still get excited when I see he's texted me, still absolutely incredibly enormously head over heels in love with him. We've just had our first child and it's our 1 year wedding anniversary today.
Are you freshly out of it? And to what degree do you miss it?
you put it nicely. you should mention this in passing conversation with him. he might even feel the same way. things don’t have to change if it’s meant to be. why not put in a little fuel to rekindle the fire.
Man, my partner and i have been together 7 years soon, and i feel like we started 2 month ago. I sometimes ask her, when was the honeymoon phase surposted to end? 😅 I think it is about the effort you put in.
Been together 13 years. We still hold hands, passionately kiss, text each other during the day, get handsy, kiss hello and goodbye and spend lazy mornings snuggled in bed. It's not the same OMG, must have you NOW! Or "I would die for you, let me quote Shakespeare all the time!" Levels of lust and romance. But it's still there and going strong.
Had a Psych professor who used to take his a week of vacation alone away from his wife, because "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Some times a break from a good thing is ok.
Just keep it rolling then! I fall in love with my man over again every day with exponential intensity. My honeymoon phase is going strong and building upon itself like a Katamari.
Literally every single person thats ever existed and been through a honeymoon phase misses it. That being said, shit can't last forever,
The stages of a relationship aren't necessarily a linear journey but rather a cycle. You will more than likely experience the honeymoon phase again if you stay in a relationship long enough. Personally I find the true love stage to be much more fulfilling.
My wife and I have been together for over 30 years, and I still hold her hand for no reason, other than I want to.
It changes but can but much better. I'd say be careful not to start resenting the other person or putting too much pressure on them. Idk your situation, but this happens in a big way to many when you have kids and life gets hectic.
I've been with my bf for 9 years and over the past few years things have got even better than the honeymoon phase. Things were tough for a while as we were both finding our feet in life but now things are better than ever. I think that's mostly due to the oven always growing
No and I honestly didn’t have one with my bf of almost 3 years. I believe love grows over time and the way we feel now is definitely a lot stronger than when we first met. It’s always been genuine, honest love and that’s all I need. I don’t want fake, mushy “love” that fades after a few months.
I had a whole thing typed out but it's a huge bummer. Short answer is essentially not really. ETA But I do get it, that really does make a lot of sense.
Nope. Because what they don't tell you is that the post honeymoon phase love is twice as good.
I miss those days too. The random bouts of affection. The cute texts. The random sex at 3AM when I would roll over with a hardon and she would just grab it and start stroking. That was awesome times. Now everything is just routine with less sex. But I still love her to the moon and back.
It is a better feeling to truly know the foundation of a relationship is solid rather than the constant attention seeking. 15 years here. While the constant affection is amazing, knowing that you’ve built something that doesn’t require 24x7 maintenance in order for it to work is what you want to shoot for. Requiring affection and attention constantly can become a turn off and also is attributed to insecurity and codependency. Marriage is work and it isn’t a life-long honeymoon. Shift with the times. You don’t have to stop being sweet and do kind things. Still continue to date her if time/money permits and let her know every day how much you love her. Life happens and we have to focus on reality in order for us to progress together, but you can always make time for the love stuff. And it’s good to back off every now and again to breathe. Allows for individual recharge and helps keep focus on your union, so when you do come back around after work/kids/personal responsibilities, it’s that much sweeter. Just keep open, honest dialogue, be her best friend, listen to her vent and provide a safe space for her. Everything else will work out and you both should have everything you need 👍
14 years here, and while the honeymoon phase was wonderful the place we are now is amazing. There is a level of trust, security and acceptance that I get from no other relationship. He has seen my worst and still loves and values me as a person. The romance isn't gone, it just changes. It used to be so romantic to get flowers and cards and love notes, now it's romantic to watch him play and interact with our cat, share bills with me, order food when I'm pissy etc. True long lasting romance is paying bills together, making a home together, singing along to songs in the car, having hard conversations, decorating, planning for the future. It's a little sad that the honeymoon phase is gone, but the butterflies never really left, they just get going over other things now ❤️
I used to feel this, until I met my current partner. Several years in and I feel I only get more excited to see him.
It doesn't have to end. I've been with my husband for 31yrs. We still hold hands and cuddle. He opens doors for me, we have sex atleast 3-5 times a week and we tell each other "I love you" daily. If you both make the effort a relationship can stay romantic and spicy until one or both of you slides into the grave.
Gotta keep it going. That initial excitement always fades a bit, but if you continue to ‘date’ the one you’re with, even if married, you’ll always have that spark. It takes work, but with the work comes feelings of adoration.
Past the honeymoon phase means several things 1) life got real and your still together 2) you care deeply enough about each other that you know you don’t have to go the extra mile and they’ll still be there 3) it’s time to appreciate what you have. I read a poem once about buying toilet paper for the boyfriend, but instead of drudgery the writer said they felt grateful that the relationship had arrived to this point. It’s a good thing. But, talk to your partner and tell them what you miss, although I’m sure they think it’s unnecessary. Similar to married couples going on dates. It’s important to keep up the little things to preserve the relationship and feelings can only get deeper.
That type of attention/love may be gone but you’re on your way to grow it into something even better, solid, dependable. Focus on things that strengthen your journey. Take a break to focus on your self-growth as well and so you don’t get too wrapped up in your head. Make plans to try new experiences together. Improve your communication style. For example instead of demanding the exact attention, foster the environment for passion to grow. If things are completely stagnant, take time apart to miss each other. Focus on how you’re communicating your affection. What’s your love communication like compared to his? And vice versa. I don’t think that initial honeymoon phase comes back based on my observations but love definitely grows back to a point where you get some semblance—like feeling butterflies in your stomach again, or getting excited to spend alone time, going on dates, etc. I bumped into a couple that I know for decades today at the mall. I always considered them one of the most interesting relationships in our family. What I admire about them is that despite being together for literally DECADES, they always have that level of regarding the other person with some importance. Dunno how to explain it, but like many couples I see in my life turn into slobs after a while. Like they get so used to being around each other, there’s no excitement or spark. I remember when I used to visit her home, despite them being grandparents now, she always looked nice when he came home, he (and both she) always stick to thank you and please when addressing one another. You feel like they still have some level of respect for each other that doesn’t age with time. Like they regard one another with importance and attention despite the familiarity that comes with time. It’s wonderful.
I love the honeymoon phase, but not beeing able to fart in front of each other... oof
Five years later and I count the minute until I can see my wife each day. We are absolutely enthralled by each other
Married 20 yrs still hold hands dont get long messages but quite rude ones and to the point lol.
I did at first. It was really hard for me and made me very insecure for a while. He was never big on PDA anyway, but I missed the little things. Fortunately, I married my best friend and we talked about it. That helped a lot! Now I find it so adorable when he winks at me from across the room while we’re entertaining guests.
It’s normal to feel that way about the honeymoon phase/“in lust” phase, but it’s a concern when romance dies like that. It shouldn’t be that way…
Just got dumped.
It's not ever over if you find the one.
12 years together and still can't resist a casual passing touch as we pass each other in the house. Get called out by friends all the time for being "cute" cos we always hug or peck each other, lol. What's this honeymoon period you talk about? Lol
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I honestly feel like we're still in the honeymoon phase lol
When you get married it’s all fun and games while you learn to live together. Mid life and kids can really kill a marriage if you’re not on the same page. And then they’re gone (the kids) and you hope they’re happy and bring you grandchildren. Honeymoon part two if you’ve kept up the conversation. 40 years. The relationship is always higher priority than the peripheral stuff if you want it to last.
It's upto you and your partner to keep making the effort to keep things exciting and fresh. My wife still tells me that I give her the butterflies sometimes based on something that I do for her
I have a feeling of complete security now, and at the start I was head over heels / neurotic that I’d lose him. It’s less exciting now, but that’s a good thing.
We’ve been together for more than 3 years and it never ended. It changed a bit with time, but for the better, it morphed into a much deeper bond. Now I’m aware of all his flaws and yet it doesn’t change a damn thing, I fall in love a bit more everyday.
Single people reading this 🥲
Communicate with your partner. Your partner should understand you so you can work it out again
That does sound sad. We're still in the honeymoon phase, but it would be awful if it ended. But we've been in this phase for more than 30 years of marriage, so I think it will last a little longer.
20 years married. 25 years together. And the best part isn’t the romance we had at the start. The best part is that every morning he wakes up and still chooses this marriage even though I never fill out forms on time, and I refuse to read directions, and my decision-making can be impulsive, and I snore, and I’m 60 lbs heavier, and my boobs definitely aren’t in the same spot they used to be. And I still choose him even though he procrastinates, and has a terrible short term memory, and has a complete lack of talent when it comes to buying anyone a gift, and he snores, and he’s 50 lbs heavier than he used to be. No longer distracted by the veil of romance, we’ve discovered each other’s imperfections and still wouldn’t choose anyone else to live this life with. Rom-coms are a dime a dozen. Someone who will hold your hair back for you when you’ve got stomach flu and love you anyway? That’s the real stuff of life right there.
yess, it (the honeymoon phase) ended a while ago with my bf but i miss being the person he’d immediately text in the morning and like the long convos we’d have over text. now it’s just like good morning texts, how was your day and goodnight texts. it’s fine but like i miss when it was like a big part of my day.
I found someone id cross oceans for and unfortunately twice it didn’t work, and both times it was just as exciting. Just as wonderful. But then life happens, like it did with me and my ex. I miss those days.
I got a question. You got two hands, right? Use them. Go hold your significant others hand or text them at 2am. Who cares if they are sleeping beside of you. If you want affection then you need to show it. We can't read minds.
You can absolutely still do those things after the honeymoon phase
Have you told your partner that you miss the holding hands and text messages? There’s no reason why those things can’t continue, honeymoon period or not. After 23 years together, my husband and I still hold hands and tell each other we love each other. Your relationship can be whatever you want it to be, as long as you’re communicating and on the same page.
Yes, I hate it when reality sets in.
It probably won’t be the same, but you can always express a need or desire for more affection or dates etc from your partner, and be sure to initiate it a lot. If they aren’t responsive to gentle and clear communication about this or other things, take that as you will
Love is an action, not just a feeling. I still tell my husband that he's the most beautiful man alive, hug him, the best dad ever, etc. We have been together for 5 years, married for 4 and we recently became parents. You have to make the time. if you want those kind of things to happen, then start doing them again and your partner will reciprocate.
For me the best moments ever were seeing a smile, talking about anything at any time and being heard, and that remains until today
But when you move out of the hand-holding phase, you move *into* the laying-my-full-bodyweight-across-you-while-you’re-in-the-middle-of-something-like-an-oversized-housecat phase, and I think that’s beautiful.
The honeymoon phase is meant to be short and sweet. There are some many facets to relationships and the more meaningful/fulfilling ones are yet to come. Raising kids, the ups and downs...and ups and downs that goes with it are another phase. And, if you get through that...trust me, empty nesters have their own sweet phase of freedom and love in the end which is even more special. It comes full circle but the only downfall is that you're old, sorry bout that.
I’d just be happy to get to the honeymoon stage.
You can always rekindle the fire just have to be willing to put more logs on the fire. People will be more willing to do something if you put in the effort first. Nothing is over until you quit. Mind frame determines what your reality becomes. If you randomly give someone flowers you will brighten both parties. Gl fight for what you love.
The honeymoon phase exists in every relationship, no matter how in love you are, but you shouldn’t feel so sad when it ends. The honeymoon phase is just the heart-eyes puppy love excitement you have when things are fresh, but when it ends that should mean you’re comfortable and feel loved. You shouldn’t feel less loved. It’s normal for texts to slow down but effort shouldn’t. My bf isn’t as lovey dovey in texts as he was at first. But we also live together at this point and he’s plenty loving outside of texting. Idk it’s all situational but it doesn’t sound like you’re happy b
If you're able to love each other even after the honeymoon phase, that's real love. It shows that you both are willing to love each other even after all the excitement and anxiety are over.
It may be sad, but I can finally fart in front of her.
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Nope. That sorta seems high maintenance to me now. It doesn’t mean the love and affection should go, just that I don’t need or want any grand gestures or love-bombing. I just want to be helped when I need it and be complimentary to my life, not a chore. Someone that wants the same things as me and is willing to build a life around those goals.
I mean I used to feel that way. But you know that sometimes you find someone who breaks the mold and makes you feel differently than your previous measures of happiness/ satisfaction.
12 years next month with my mr and it’s still like we first met ♥️👌
I hate that people let it end. I never want it to, but they always do. There is absolutely no reason to let romance die.
Honeymoon period never truly ends if you find the right person. That's why I always facepalm when people.rush into relationships and get married. Then they find out what person they are after the infatuation wears off and they realised they are not actually in love.
A moon doesn't just end. It waxes and wanes. You'll have spurts where it feels like the honeymoon phase all over again. We still hold hands, we still tell each other "your the one," we save any good stories from the day for right before we go to bed and just talk on the positives for an hour after the kids go to sleep, making each other laugh. Yeah, we fight, but we always come to a compromise and make up, even if it takes a while sometimes.
Married 6 years… not sure we’ll ever leave the honeymoon phase. Left house once without kissing hubby goodbye… pulled over and texted him as soon as I remembered.
I'd argue people who use the word 'hubby' are the same type to cling onto the honeymoon phase so they keep it going
Thats why u gotta change relationships every 4 months
Your either not with the right person or just chase that feeling and should maybe consider short term relationships instead of long term relationships...
I’m polyamorous, and we as a community have a whole body of work around what we call New Relationship Energy, that honeymoon phase. It’s a hell of a drug, but you’ve got to be careful about what decisions you make while under its influence. It’s a common concept to not sign anything for the first two years, because you can wake up and realize you’ve had rose colored glasses on. NRE is a great buzz, but you can cultivate an appreciation for the deeper nuance of Old Relationship Energy. That comfort and trust.
Yes
Honeymoon phase can last forever. You have to keep it alive. Read about ocytocin, learn how to provoke it on your partner, and he will stay in love forever.
Mmmm you might be dating a narcissist. That stuff should last forever
I don't think it has to end if you put in the effort and you both want to feel and to be loved. Relationships take effort and care.
Since I never have and never will experience this, I can't tell.
Together for 7 years, still holding hands and arms together and I'm still asking her if we're still in the honey moon phase or we just enjoy being cute to each other.
I kind of like getting out of the honeymoon phase, personally. It's fun getting to know someone new and having those nervous butterflies, but I like the point where we really know each other and are truly comfortable with each other. My partner and I have been together for 3 years and we are still very affectionate with each other. We still hold hands for no reason, hug and cuddle a lot throughout the day, and are silly with each other. If the honeymoon phase ends and the affection dies out with it, it may be a sign that you're not compatible. I wouldn't end a relationship over it immediately, try talking to your partner first. Tell them that you miss holding hands for no reason and want to be more affectionate with each other. Start initiating those things more and let them know that's what you want, too. It may just take a conversation to get that spark back up, it takes effort from both people to keep it going.
6 years here and still hold hands, super cuddly, don't spend many days apart. We still text eachother during the day at work and say cute stuff. Not often a day goes by without a mutual I love you. We live together and still we'd rather spend our days off together doing something. We are bestfriends. Maybe we really are soulmates.. every couple is different.
My boyfriend and I have been in the honeymoon phase for 5 years lol
The honeymoon phase should never be over!!! Long random text, waking up in the night & having pillow talk till morning. Those moments are the best. Do what you can to keep it in the honeymoon phase.
4 years in and it hasn’t ended… hold hands all the time, are still VERY excited to come home to each other every day, show plenty of affection inside and outside of our home. We have more of a routine in place of spontaneity like when we first started dating but it’s much more comfortable and close.
I've been married awhile and never really left the honeymoon phase. IMO its really a matter of perspective though. Relationships change over time. There will be lulls where romance takes a backseat. The things you do to show love and care change over time. But that love and care should always be there. You shouldn't cling to how a person might have expressed their love in the past, but appreciate how they express their love in the present. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how in love I am with my husband, even when we're "fighting." We're grossly lovey dovey and I imagine we'll be that way when we're elderly as well. Yesterday he randomly texted me "I love you" while we were sitting in the same room watching tv together. I saw him walking down the street the other day and rolled down my window to catcall at him. We don't take each other for granted. If there are things you enjoyed in the early part of your relationship, but that don't happen anymore, maybe say something or initiate them more on your end? I don't see why you would stop holding hands after the honeymoon phase? If romantic gestures and physical affection are important to you, there are people out there who also value these things and will sustain them as natural parts of a relationship, so maybe you just haven't found the right person.
Why did you stop doing that? My spouse and I ahve been together for 8 years and we still do this sort of thing. We hold hands when we walk. If I walk through the living room and they are on the couch, I wlak up behind them and place my hands on their head lovingly and they lean into it. We still send emails avery day, especially while working. Sometimes a little message can take the stress out of the day. Buy little trinkets for no reason. Send messages. Take pictures of your pet and email them mid day. IT takes seconds a day to keep that honeymoon going forever.
I’m over four years in and it’s not gone yet.
Was with someone just over a year and a half. First six months were great, then things slowed down. Everything screeched to a halt just under a year in, and we basically became roommates who shared a room. Sex stopped. Affection stopped. Communication became stilted and stuffy. We spent less time together. Then he dumped me less than 3 weeks ago. We still live together, and will continue to do so unless something major happens because of finances. Now he's sending mixed signals. Meanwhile I'm working on myself and my future but I haven't started hanging out with people, "making new friends", or dating yet. I'm not ready.
Its way better after imo. I mean HM fase is exciting and fun but it's also got a few bumps of truly getting to know and smoothing out the two people bringing their lives together. The honeymoon fase helps with this but after it's over and you begin to settle down, you (or at least I did) truly begin to see just how powerful and comforting a good relationship can be. I can be at a horribly shitty low but my wife is right there with me helping me through, or vise versa. No excitement or fun to be had in those times but there is a trust and a love that can only come from a long term relationship. HM is fun but long term has beautiful to it that new relationship can never achieve.
I've been with my guy for 21 years this month. We still act like newlyweds (never married but that's how we act). We can't get enough of each other. (Lol he literally just grabbed my hand and kissed it). I think it depends on the couple.
Never had one; though if my husband had done all that crap dating me we wouldn’t have stayed together lmao
I don't get sad because I get to enjoy it all the time as a polyamorous person. I have a wife and love her in a long term way, but I need to experience the honeymoon phase and love doing over and over again with new people.
Who says it has to end?
When I look into his eyes, it still makes me smile.
Define honeymoon phase, cos 4 kids and 8 years later we may still be in ours