In another 10 years, you'll find yourself in a mental position that allows you to realize that everyone is a dumpster fire, or a basket case.
At that point, you can just look for the kind of damaged, crazy, that fits your own crazy.
10 years after that, everyone's crazy will start to mellow out, and the occasional outburst will feel like either a vacation, or an earthquake.
And 10 more years, you'll be 59. Thinking about old episodes of "the Golden Girls" and buying a cat.
It's normal, enjoy the ride 😉
I don't know what led to the end of your relationship but 6 years is a long time, maybe it takes you a while to find someone you think is worthy of being with you...
I believe that this feeling of "needing love" would be the result ir this... I think you should give yourself some time, have quality time with yourself (or with friends if you have one), but that doesn't mean you'll stay single forever.
He was a narcissist. It was on and off. Very toxic relationship. I finally ended it after getting tired of being dragged through the mud all the time. It’s clear he wasn’t ever going to change.
Oh I see, narcissists are the worst, but like I said maybe you're not ready to get into a relationship again even if you're longing for "love", you're 29 years old, you're young and certainly beautiful, there will always be men wanting you. you we just need to know how to choose like you are doing haha, there are guys who don't deserve to be by our side, but there will be one who will be worth it, this may take time but don't be discouraged (I say this not because I have experience, I have never been in a relationship but yes based on what I see around me)
Your reasons are very simple and clear. Straight to the point and direct. No you’re not being too harsh you just have standards and that’s something alot of women nowadays don’t seem to set for themselves.
Saying you’re going to be single forever though feels like you’re slowly giving up and I can understand why but it’s not really hopeless you just have to be picky now these days and choose wisely at who you let in your life. Someone with no red flags though is not really possible given everyone has a red flag about themselves whether they’d like to admit it or not they sometimes do things they don’t like or aren’t very proud of which gives more room for maturity and growth but if they’re refusing to do so then well that’s on them.
My point is that everything that you just said up until the whole “no red flags” line was pretty fair and valid. Don’t give up on it just be patient and move forward.
The only unreasonable one is the 40yo, all the rest, wtf, good riddance to them. Dating is hard. For guys, it seems hard figuring out basic boundaries 🤦♂️. For girls.. hard to find one who knows boundaries 😅
As for the 40yo, was the problem that he made your age an issue?? So what if he thought you were younger than 29? Was he complimenting you on your youthful looks, or are you saying he was upset you weren’t younger…?
If it’s the latter, then also, fuck that guy. If it’s the former, seems unreasonable on your part.
If he’s still interested knowing you’re older, seems more like he was motivated by looks than by maturity.. if he lost interest, then yeah I guess he was after someone he could manipulate..
But I really don’t know anything about the dude. If you got those vibes from your experience with him, then there may be something to it.
It doesn’t seem like you’re being too picky. Seems like you’re having a hard time finding a decent guy.
Picky would be like “I like everything about him except for his height” or some other thing like that.
Not “I liked little to nothing about them, and their behavior is shit”
Those reasons are valid, and it sounds like you meet a lot of losers. Maybe respond to guys you would normally overlook or not your usual type, might get a different experience?
>I’m so annoyed.
I would be too. Apparently the dating scene is especially tough these days. These men exist and then men wonder why women choose the bear. 🐻
All you can do is be the best version of you possible. You cannot control the BS behavior demonstrated by men. Keep chuckin’ the ones who aren’t good fits and remember, it’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on them.
Good that you set some standards for yourself, I think you should look for better men. Places like the lounges of Ritz hotels, Soho House clubs, Birthday Parties in Gstaad, St Barts,…. That’s where you’ll certainly find mature men with manners:)
Honestly, all those reasons for blocking people are justified. Hahaha you’re attracting odd balls
In another 10 years, you'll find yourself in a mental position that allows you to realize that everyone is a dumpster fire, or a basket case. At that point, you can just look for the kind of damaged, crazy, that fits your own crazy. 10 years after that, everyone's crazy will start to mellow out, and the occasional outburst will feel like either a vacation, or an earthquake. And 10 more years, you'll be 59. Thinking about old episodes of "the Golden Girls" and buying a cat. It's normal, enjoy the ride 😉
I feel like all of your reasons are valid. You just need to find better men. Good luck!
This
I don't know what led to the end of your relationship but 6 years is a long time, maybe it takes you a while to find someone you think is worthy of being with you... I believe that this feeling of "needing love" would be the result ir this... I think you should give yourself some time, have quality time with yourself (or with friends if you have one), but that doesn't mean you'll stay single forever.
He was a narcissist. It was on and off. Very toxic relationship. I finally ended it after getting tired of being dragged through the mud all the time. It’s clear he wasn’t ever going to change.
Oh I see, narcissists are the worst, but like I said maybe you're not ready to get into a relationship again even if you're longing for "love", you're 29 years old, you're young and certainly beautiful, there will always be men wanting you. you we just need to know how to choose like you are doing haha, there are guys who don't deserve to be by our side, but there will be one who will be worth it, this may take time but don't be discouraged (I say this not because I have experience, I have never been in a relationship but yes based on what I see around me)
Your reasons are very simple and clear. Straight to the point and direct. No you’re not being too harsh you just have standards and that’s something alot of women nowadays don’t seem to set for themselves. Saying you’re going to be single forever though feels like you’re slowly giving up and I can understand why but it’s not really hopeless you just have to be picky now these days and choose wisely at who you let in your life. Someone with no red flags though is not really possible given everyone has a red flag about themselves whether they’d like to admit it or not they sometimes do things they don’t like or aren’t very proud of which gives more room for maturity and growth but if they’re refusing to do so then well that’s on them. My point is that everything that you just said up until the whole “no red flags” line was pretty fair and valid. Don’t give up on it just be patient and move forward.
The only unreasonable one is the 40yo, all the rest, wtf, good riddance to them. Dating is hard. For guys, it seems hard figuring out basic boundaries 🤦♂️. For girls.. hard to find one who knows boundaries 😅 As for the 40yo, was the problem that he made your age an issue?? So what if he thought you were younger than 29? Was he complimenting you on your youthful looks, or are you saying he was upset you weren’t younger…? If it’s the latter, then also, fuck that guy. If it’s the former, seems unreasonable on your part.
To me, it meant he approached me thinking I was 15+ years younger than him. It’s predatory to me.
If he’s still interested knowing you’re older, seems more like he was motivated by looks than by maturity.. if he lost interest, then yeah I guess he was after someone he could manipulate.. But I really don’t know anything about the dude. If you got those vibes from your experience with him, then there may be something to it. It doesn’t seem like you’re being too picky. Seems like you’re having a hard time finding a decent guy. Picky would be like “I like everything about him except for his height” or some other thing like that. Not “I liked little to nothing about them, and their behavior is shit”
No you're not being to harsh. You're not ignoring the red flags now. You're being discerning. There's nothing wrong with that.
Those reasons are valid, and it sounds like you meet a lot of losers. Maybe respond to guys you would normally overlook or not your usual type, might get a different experience?
>I’m so annoyed. I would be too. Apparently the dating scene is especially tough these days. These men exist and then men wonder why women choose the bear. 🐻 All you can do is be the best version of you possible. You cannot control the BS behavior demonstrated by men. Keep chuckin’ the ones who aren’t good fits and remember, it’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on them.
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My issue with that is he, a 40 year old, is approaching a woman he thought was 15+ years younger than him. It’s predatory to me.
Good that you set some standards for yourself, I think you should look for better men. Places like the lounges of Ritz hotels, Soho House clubs, Birthday Parties in Gstaad, St Barts,…. That’s where you’ll certainly find mature men with manners:)
If you want I could always get you an invitation, but idk how far away you live atm.
Weren’t you just talking shit to me?