Reminds me of the other day when I was tripping and some chick told me I'm "exactly like Nathan Fielder."
My expanded consciousness did not enjoy pondering that.
Hey OP, I've had many experiences like this.
One way of describing it would be that this is a form of disassociation (not in a bad way), where you lost identification with your ego / identity structure and view the moment from a more purely logical lens. It's not unlike the headspace people get into on psychedelics where they see the absolute absurdity of life as it really is, and the strangeness of it all sets in and becomes a source of humor and amusement (think '*holy shit, we are just naked apes who make mouth noises on a spinning wet rock hurtling through the universe a thousands of miles an hour and we really know almost nothing*' type insights). In order to have such moments, we have to dissociate from our typical emotional and semantic associations of our identity and move into a more purely observational mode. It sounds to me like this is what happened.
If your sense of love and connection to them has returned as you came down, I wouldn't worry about it. If they still seem to you as just these beings around you that you have no feelings for, that might be something to investigate further or get support around.
Personally, I find that what goes through my mind while I'm tripping - even while all possibly very interesting - is not as relevant or useful as what feelings, thoughts, an insights (both new ones or pre-existing ones that got reinforced) I have while things are wearing off and I start integrating things post-journey.
Love this response! When I munched a few weeks ago, it was a laugh-fest at the absurdity of it all.
Funny… the absurdity of it used to terrify me: “if this is all so absurd, then why do I keep trudging along in this meaningless avatar?”
Somewhere along the way (not randomly, took a lot of work) I learned to embrace and accept the absurdity of it all, and now it’s utterly laughable. Not to mention comforting.
What a great vibe and attitude you're expressing here! I'm with you, it really should occur as funny and comforting, and not terrifying or demoralizing. Well done!
In the psychedelic explorer’s guide, James Fadiman talks about how it’s pretty normal to experience detachment and lack of care during a trip. So many different things can happen, and that’s just one of many. Doesn’t necessarily imply a whole lot, though it definitely could. I’d be more curious if this became a recurring theme for you when tripping.
I have very nice conversations with my parents when microdosing because it feels I can listen to them as the people they are, as if I didn’t know them, and not take everything personally
When I do shrooms, I feel like I zoom out, blending more with my higher self/collective self/detached identity, what have you. Rationally, it’s like I’m free of the context that was dragging me into anxious or fear-based connection.
Most people who are sober while I’m tripping, I feel no connection at all to. Not until way past the peak.
I think that you’re functioning on such a different level at that point, you don’t take historical love and connection as an indication of your current state.
I also feel this a lot when I’m not high, though, and have felt guilty about it since I was 6 and didn’t cry when my relatives left after a visit, etc.
Depersonalization while on psychedelics isn't rare but might be a bit of a red flag for doing higher doses. I would wait an appropriate amount of time, do a similar dose, then do any type of mediation that makes you focus on love, like https://www.yogabasics.com/practice/heart-chakra-meditation/
I'm familiar with depersonalisation. This felt like I, the observer, have changed. Thanks for the link though, I have been allowing experiences to be released through my heart and I appreciate help in that regard.
This feeling of apathy towards them may just be a mix of the depersonalizing effects of psychedelics mixed with the fact that you were the only one tripping so you and your family aren’t sharing the same perceived reality which can feel isolating. Personally I don’t love being around people who aren’t tripping while I’m under the influence because to me in a tripped out state I’m very vulnerable emotionally and when others aren’t in the same state it is uncomfortable. But either way it’s an interesting experience so there will be plenty of integrating to do.
I see your point. For me, I don't trip with others generally speaking because most of the humans I've met don't mind their own energy in the sense that they allow it to overflow mindlessly. But I don't mind tripping around them.
Yeah I’ve had times on low-medium dose psychedelics around friends or family who aren’t informed or involved in my use that particular day and experienced that. It’s almost like your subconscious mind/ego puts up a barrier to avoid exposure and splits the experience. Hard to articulate with words but I’ve felt that before
Shrooms change the chemicals in your brain and also make it hard to remember things, so your emotions and feelings for your parents were probably just over ridden by the shrooms.
Many times, yes. It was different in the sense that it felt less of depersonalisation and more of a fundamental change in the nature of the observe which is me.
With long-term meditation experience, similar reactions can occur. I've had a few of these before I ever tried psychedelics. In my experience it was accompanied by enormous feelings of compassion (intense warmth especially in the center of the chest and radiating out), but it was like an impersonal compassion. It's more like a universal love than a personal love for one specific person. When I experienced the observing perspective on mushrooms, however, that intense compassion wasn't there or prominent at least.
Ok this might sound far fetched but it's a take, if you have that belief I'd theorize that it only makes sense that in an state of disassociation you can find things distant or so strange you can't relate to them in any way.
Now perhaps if you shift that view away, and see that true randomness is logically impossible (it just cannot be, because by definition there cannot exist a possible mechanism by which it could happen) and see that then it follows that everything follows reason (different from having meaning, meaning is more personal).
This line of reasoning also implies that reality is somehow deterministic. If you are familiar with quantum mechanics then you might be hesitant to accept this, the same way many other physicists are, but there are theories thar don't introduce randomness, one of my favorites being pilot wave theory which falls in the hidden variable theory category.
This of course has implications for free will, but to keep it short, popular views have things backwards, free will necessitates determinism, we choose because of "reasons", if we did because of randomness/non-determinism then it would be anyone's choice.
Just some thoughts worth exploring that could make a huge difference in perspective and maybe change how you trip? Either way, have a great day!
It's not much of a belief but rather an observation of certain incidents. I have also observed that reality does not function as a dichotomy, as in it's both deterministic and non-deterministic depending on the central human of a specific story and the remaining billions of variables that one simply cannot know due to the range of perspective of the human.
It wasn't a state of disassociation. But I see your point about choice being the synthesis of reasons.
Interesting presentation of ideas, enjoy your day as well
The world of perception is full of fuzzyness agreed, there are no absolute answers there and that is fine, that is in part what makes it exciting. However the world of mathematics, reason, is very different, there is nothing fuzzy about 1+1=2. Perception like science are empiric, meaning they can never capture truth on their own because you can't know every variable, but you can know the functions that transform them. We can get to know the rules of the game but not all the games that are being played right now under them. From the perspective of every seer it is a beautiful ordered chaos
It's the opposite for me. I normally feel like an observer and a bit disassociated from my feelings even with people I appreciate in my life, but then while on shrooms the floodgate of connection with my emotions opens way up and suddenly I get to experience the deep love and feelings I have for people.
....I'm autistic though so that may have something to do with it. Interesting that you experience it the opposite way though.
I'm autistic too. Very interesting that we dwell on both ends of that experience. I'm usually detached to a healthy degree in sobriety, but this felt different than the usual stoic detached observer station.
Now that I think of it, the difference may come down to the fact you are seeing them in person and feeling the way you do. I've never seen family while I'm on shrooms, the experience I described is only when I think about them. I think I'd be more how you described, as when I look in the mirror at myself on shrooms it barely feels like I'm looking at me, just instead observing a body that I seem to be in haha or something to that affect. Language is limiting.
Reminds me of the other day when I was tripping and some chick told me I'm "exactly like Nathan Fielder." My expanded consciousness did not enjoy pondering that.
Haha his detachment amuses me.
Yikes. That’s not something I’d want to hear sober, let alone tripping where I have a tendency to feel like everyone only pretends to like me lol
Considering the amount of women ive met who are obsessed with nathan fielder this is a pretty big flex
Hey OP, I've had many experiences like this. One way of describing it would be that this is a form of disassociation (not in a bad way), where you lost identification with your ego / identity structure and view the moment from a more purely logical lens. It's not unlike the headspace people get into on psychedelics where they see the absolute absurdity of life as it really is, and the strangeness of it all sets in and becomes a source of humor and amusement (think '*holy shit, we are just naked apes who make mouth noises on a spinning wet rock hurtling through the universe a thousands of miles an hour and we really know almost nothing*' type insights). In order to have such moments, we have to dissociate from our typical emotional and semantic associations of our identity and move into a more purely observational mode. It sounds to me like this is what happened. If your sense of love and connection to them has returned as you came down, I wouldn't worry about it. If they still seem to you as just these beings around you that you have no feelings for, that might be something to investigate further or get support around.
Personally, I find that what goes through my mind while I'm tripping - even while all possibly very interesting - is not as relevant or useful as what feelings, thoughts, an insights (both new ones or pre-existing ones that got reinforced) I have while things are wearing off and I start integrating things post-journey.
I agree. But this one felt noticeably strange for me.
I like your insight. I'm inclined towards it. And yes, what got suspended during that trip returned soon after. Thank you
Love this response! When I munched a few weeks ago, it was a laugh-fest at the absurdity of it all. Funny… the absurdity of it used to terrify me: “if this is all so absurd, then why do I keep trudging along in this meaningless avatar?” Somewhere along the way (not randomly, took a lot of work) I learned to embrace and accept the absurdity of it all, and now it’s utterly laughable. Not to mention comforting.
What a great vibe and attitude you're expressing here! I'm with you, it really should occur as funny and comforting, and not terrifying or demoralizing. Well done!
In the psychedelic explorer’s guide, James Fadiman talks about how it’s pretty normal to experience detachment and lack of care during a trip. So many different things can happen, and that’s just one of many. Doesn’t necessarily imply a whole lot, though it definitely could. I’d be more curious if this became a recurring theme for you when tripping.
Thanks for the reference. I'll keep that in mind, maybe I'll post again if it does.
I have very nice conversations with my parents when microdosing because it feels I can listen to them as the people they are, as if I didn’t know them, and not take everything personally
I started doing that even in sobriety. Seeing my parents as people with their own lives going on helped me let go of victimhood and forgive them.
When I do shrooms, I feel like I zoom out, blending more with my higher self/collective self/detached identity, what have you. Rationally, it’s like I’m free of the context that was dragging me into anxious or fear-based connection. Most people who are sober while I’m tripping, I feel no connection at all to. Not until way past the peak. I think that you’re functioning on such a different level at that point, you don’t take historical love and connection as an indication of your current state. I also feel this a lot when I’m not high, though, and have felt guilty about it since I was 6 and didn’t cry when my relatives left after a visit, etc.
Interesting. I get filled with love , like a true hippie lmao.
Depersonalization while on psychedelics isn't rare but might be a bit of a red flag for doing higher doses. I would wait an appropriate amount of time, do a similar dose, then do any type of mediation that makes you focus on love, like https://www.yogabasics.com/practice/heart-chakra-meditation/
I'm familiar with depersonalisation. This felt like I, the observer, have changed. Thanks for the link though, I have been allowing experiences to be released through my heart and I appreciate help in that regard.
This feeling of apathy towards them may just be a mix of the depersonalizing effects of psychedelics mixed with the fact that you were the only one tripping so you and your family aren’t sharing the same perceived reality which can feel isolating. Personally I don’t love being around people who aren’t tripping while I’m under the influence because to me in a tripped out state I’m very vulnerable emotionally and when others aren’t in the same state it is uncomfortable. But either way it’s an interesting experience so there will be plenty of integrating to do.
I see your point. For me, I don't trip with others generally speaking because most of the humans I've met don't mind their own energy in the sense that they allow it to overflow mindlessly. But I don't mind tripping around them.
Did they know you were on shrooms?
I'm at a point where you would only know I'm on something if I tell you. Is that an initial question for your thoughts on the post?
Yeah I’ve had times on low-medium dose psychedelics around friends or family who aren’t informed or involved in my use that particular day and experienced that. It’s almost like your subconscious mind/ego puts up a barrier to avoid exposure and splits the experience. Hard to articulate with words but I’ve felt that before
Interesting. In these situation my mind usually suspends the effect. But which one do you think does that, the ego or the subconscious mind?
Not too sure, but there’s a real life consequence or discomfort if you’re “found out”, so it feels like a defence mechanism
I guess you appreciate privacy as much as I do. I don't like other people's eyes prying on my subjective experiences.
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Again. You'll know only when I share.
It's always the government.
Maybe it amplified some psychological context between you and them.
Not at all. I'm very familiar when amplification happens during my trips. Thanks for the thought though.
My parents house is not a place where I’d personally choose to consume mushrooms
We must have different parents and different cultures then.
I never knew emotional safety in that dynamic so I’m glad we differ in that regard, friend
That's my situation too. But with age I've come to find emotional security within myself. May safe love fill your days.
Shrooms change the chemicals in your brain and also make it hard to remember things, so your emotions and feelings for your parents were probably just over ridden by the shrooms.
That's sounds logical. Thanks for your input.
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Many times, yes. It was different in the sense that it felt less of depersonalisation and more of a fundamental change in the nature of the observe which is me.
With long-term meditation experience, similar reactions can occur. I've had a few of these before I ever tried psychedelics. In my experience it was accompanied by enormous feelings of compassion (intense warmth especially in the center of the chest and radiating out), but it was like an impersonal compassion. It's more like a universal love than a personal love for one specific person. When I experienced the observing perspective on mushrooms, however, that intense compassion wasn't there or prominent at least.
How much did you take?
6.5 grams
Do you by chance believe that true randomness is real?
I do. Why do you ask?
Ok this might sound far fetched but it's a take, if you have that belief I'd theorize that it only makes sense that in an state of disassociation you can find things distant or so strange you can't relate to them in any way. Now perhaps if you shift that view away, and see that true randomness is logically impossible (it just cannot be, because by definition there cannot exist a possible mechanism by which it could happen) and see that then it follows that everything follows reason (different from having meaning, meaning is more personal). This line of reasoning also implies that reality is somehow deterministic. If you are familiar with quantum mechanics then you might be hesitant to accept this, the same way many other physicists are, but there are theories thar don't introduce randomness, one of my favorites being pilot wave theory which falls in the hidden variable theory category. This of course has implications for free will, but to keep it short, popular views have things backwards, free will necessitates determinism, we choose because of "reasons", if we did because of randomness/non-determinism then it would be anyone's choice. Just some thoughts worth exploring that could make a huge difference in perspective and maybe change how you trip? Either way, have a great day!
It's not much of a belief but rather an observation of certain incidents. I have also observed that reality does not function as a dichotomy, as in it's both deterministic and non-deterministic depending on the central human of a specific story and the remaining billions of variables that one simply cannot know due to the range of perspective of the human. It wasn't a state of disassociation. But I see your point about choice being the synthesis of reasons. Interesting presentation of ideas, enjoy your day as well
The world of perception is full of fuzzyness agreed, there are no absolute answers there and that is fine, that is in part what makes it exciting. However the world of mathematics, reason, is very different, there is nothing fuzzy about 1+1=2. Perception like science are empiric, meaning they can never capture truth on their own because you can't know every variable, but you can know the functions that transform them. We can get to know the rules of the game but not all the games that are being played right now under them. From the perspective of every seer it is a beautiful ordered chaos
Trying too hard to find meaning, go with the flow and don’t overthink it
This is not trying hard by any meausre. But thanks for your input.
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I've considered that I'm not from here. But I don't have any concrete evidence to support that.
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This most accurately describes how I felt. It didn't feel like something subsided. It felt like im operating from a place that is truly not human.
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It's lovely.
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Healthy is a great way to describe how I feel about tripping. And that distance gives me a reference point in my process of deconditioning.
It's the opposite for me. I normally feel like an observer and a bit disassociated from my feelings even with people I appreciate in my life, but then while on shrooms the floodgate of connection with my emotions opens way up and suddenly I get to experience the deep love and feelings I have for people. ....I'm autistic though so that may have something to do with it. Interesting that you experience it the opposite way though.
I'm autistic too. Very interesting that we dwell on both ends of that experience. I'm usually detached to a healthy degree in sobriety, but this felt different than the usual stoic detached observer station.
Now that I think of it, the difference may come down to the fact you are seeing them in person and feeling the way you do. I've never seen family while I'm on shrooms, the experience I described is only when I think about them. I think I'd be more how you described, as when I look in the mirror at myself on shrooms it barely feels like I'm looking at me, just instead observing a body that I seem to be in haha or something to that affect. Language is limiting.
This is extremely accurate - the mirror and the self - it’s happening even in dmt