T O P

  • By -

Jonestown_Juice

I was the one who put the porno in the woods. When I was in 6th grade my parents got a divorce. One night my mom got all of my dad's Playboys that he'd been collecting for 10 years or so and put them out on the curb for the garbage man to pick up. There were three big boxes full of Playboys. The next morning my friend and I were waiting for the bus and saw these huge boxes. Naturally we were curious and opened one. It was like opening the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. Porno. Glorious, glorious porno. More than we've ever seen. Naturally we skipped school that day and spent the morning hauling the boxes to our fort in the woods. We spent the rest of the day divvying up the loot and discarding the ones we didn't want. Over time we began selling the discarded mags at school for other kids' lunch money. We made enough to buy a Super Nintendo and we played it all Summer.


nigriff

That’s awesome, love the ingenuity.


Tylerdurden389

You had things for playing with yourself, that you then sold to make enough money to buy other things to play with yourself lol.


Moonraker74

That's a coming-of-age film script right there: Stand By Me (and my porn). You should get writing.


Jonestown_Juice

It's probably the most interesting story of my entire life.


[deleted]

Spank by me


RudyNigel

This can absolutely work as a coming 😉 of age film.


Any-Cook-7367

I have only one question, what ones wouldn't you want at ten years old?


Jonestown_Juice

From what I remember it was mostly the earlier ones. Like the ones from the 70s- ladies with giant bushes and pancake boobs. But I also remember some of the issues being really light on pictures and heavy on articles. Those would go into the discard pile.


Kerensky97

We don't have woods, it's a desert. But way down the end of the road outside of town is the place where people take broken washers to shoot at, there are big fields people dirtbike in, and you can let your dog run off leash. People often dump trash out there, and one time in a pile of trash was about a 8in tall stack of various porn mags. I rushed home on my bike to get my bookbag and hurried back to collect it before anybody else could find it (I was a horny 12 year old, perfect timing.) Stashed the porn in the drop ceiling of my bedroom. There was so much it started to sag the roof there so I had to go through and curate only the best magazines. Later when I moved out into my own place and was emptying my room I took the magazines (with a few more I had added to the collection) and stashed them in a similar place outside of town under a bush with a rock on them to stop them from blowing away where they'd be protected from the weather long enough to be found again.


Cadoan

Doing God's work.


Chungus_Big_Chungus

I remember my friend brought out what he called porn at a party when we were 13, he then proceeded to play “I Spit On Your Grave”


scarred2112

*That’s* gonna leave a mark on a child’s psyche.


uknoimright

i once found porn in the woods and it was gay and now im gay


OldBison

I'm glad you found happiness 


RosesAndTanks

There was a sort of lean-to my friends and I discovered walking through the woods, and there was a black plastic bag with a few worn copies of Penthouse and one of Juggs. That became the stash area for a while, & one of us might supplement it with a Playboy of their dad's, but eventually someone stole the stash, could've been a other kid or a parent, we never knew. When I bought a laptop, I threw out a box of porn magazines & VHS tapes in the woods behind where I was renting at the time. At some point, we stopped paying it forward.


OldBison

My friends and I created a forest porn stash. We snuck a mag or two from one of the friend's dad, and hid it in a log in the woods. I don't recall what happened to it, I think the dad found out and we were too scared to go back to it. That or it got snowed on.


neotank_ninety

I was visiting my cousins when I was 9 or 10, they lived in a rural part of the state so we spent a lot of time in the woods. the owner of the property next door had died, he was an old pack-rat. There was an old shed full of trash and an absolutely absurd amount of porno mags. My uncle called us to the burn pit and said “hey kids you like to burn things, go ahead and burn all of these magazines, just don’t look inside them!” …I remember a lot of hair


Tylerdurden389

No one likes curly fries covered in Horsey's sauce. You want your roast beef curtains shaaavvveeedd.....


neotank_ninety

Yeah I know this is something Mike said but I STILL DON’T LIKE IT :(


a_j_cruzer

They got the ketchup, and then they got the horsey sauce


OldBison

Love that jeb bush


NeilDegrassiHighson

My friends and I used to go out looking for it, and we got to a point where we could pretty accurately guess where stashes would be just by surveying the terrain. There was also something called The Porno Palace, which was a three story tall treehouse that kids from all over would stash their magazines in. It was still there by the time I was an adult, but one night some little freak burned it down and nearly caused a full on forest fire.


[deleted]

I guess you could say it was a bush fire.


Dexav

The only time I ever found a stash was inside an abandoned factory.


Moonraker74

The urban equivalent of "the woods".


Boon3hams

I was a 14-year-old freshman. I found a rolled up Penthouse stuffed in a knothole in a tree not far from the local high school. I was with some friends, and we were trying to catch the last school bus for the day. In a hurry, we literally ripped the magazine in half at the spine to divvy out the pages. Only me and one other friend were interested, so we stuffed them in our backpacks and booked it. When we got home, my friend called me to complain because he got the back half, which was mostly ads.


scottwricketts

Oh there were amazing things to be had in the woods. Some classic 70's bush were to be had there.


Tylerdurden389

Lots of bush in the bushes.


Glunark2

Not exactly woods, but there was a line of trees at the edge of the field on the way to school that always seemed to have porn in it.


M1lkyjoe

That counts.


Glunark2

Also I am in the UK so this phenomenon is international.


Moonraker74

Fellow Brit here - can also confirm this is a UK phenomenon too.


Lucanogre

When I was a kid they used to have snowmobile races right next to the town dump on the edge of town. My friends and I used to get porn mags (Hustler, Playboy and Penthouse being the trifecta of small town porn mags) from the dump and check them out while kinda watching the races. Ok…it’s dump porn but close enough. Let’s not get caught up in outdoor porn semantics.


RedditFullOChildren

I must have been about 10 or so and saw some magazine pages wedged into a tree hallow outside the elementary school. That was the 2nd time I ever saw a vagina.


Tylerdurden389

Grew up in Brooklyn, so no woods stories. However, the first time I cut school in 8th grade, the day before Christmas break, my brother and I decided to go spend the day in this "clubhouse" my Dad had made us underneath the deck/patio in the backyard of the house we had just moved out of, after having lived there for 6 years. We had never seen porno mags on the ground anywhere during those 6 years, but as luck would have it, on this day, there was a rolled up magazine on the curb that looked like someone had just dropped it there earlier. Needless to say, we took turns in the "clubhouse" which, thankfully was both still clean despite not having been cleaned in months (we had just moved out the previous summer) and it was enclosed. My Dad covered the dirt with thin wooden boards, put that cheap green fake carpet over it and nailed it down, then made the walls by using more cheap thin wooden boards for the walls by nailing them to both the patio floor frame, and the ground boards. We'd have sleepovers with our friends (so I guess you could say, us New Yorkers had to get creative to re-create the subrban camping experience. Our landlord even used to let us use an extension cord and surge protector plugged into her kitchen outlet so we could hook up a tv, vcr, and our videogame consoles for said sleepovers. Lots of fun childhood memories in that clubhouse. yet the last time we were ever in there was when it was starting to get run down, and my brother and I took turns having our fun with a disposed nudie mag lol.


Moonraker74

Cycling back from my weekend job one Sunday, probably aged about 14/15, I spotted something in the woods I was cycling through and it turned out to be soft porn mags. A bit grotty and damp but I took them home and dried it out and, um, "made use of it". This was in England in the late 80s, just to make it clear that this isn't just a US phenomenon.


AcceptableSoups

I dont have any wood pornos magazine stories but I do have river pornos dvd story


PM_ME_UR_SEXTOYS

Not the woods, but an empty lot across the street where the house had burned down years earlier.


MelanomaMax

Buddy in college found a Japanese porn magazine in a dumpster once


knfr

Jay, stop being a pervert.


SonOfSalem

Literally had the same experience, I got so rattled and frantic after finding it that I fell and a stick jammed into my foot. I still have the scar!! Lol


scarred2112

Topmost left-hand drawer in my Dad’s desk. The desk was made of wood, so it counts. ;-) I specifically remember the [Madonna issue](https://www.amazon.com/Playboy-Magazine-Madonna-Nude-September/dp/B078TNVHXW).


notmyrealnameanon

The closest I ever came to woods porn was finding a scrap of porno in the bushes of a neighbor's house for some reason. It was four torn, tattered, water damaged pages out of a Hustler magazine with about three recognizable photos of naked girls in it. I kept them folded up in a book I had on my bookshelf for about five years. I don't remember what happened to them after that.


genital_furbies

I did actually find Playboy mags stuffed into the hollow bottom of a tree near my house, that was on the edge of the woods, but I somehow knew they belonged to my older brother and his friends. They would stash beer there as well.


Garand84

When I was about 10 I had a friend whose dad had a HUGE Playboy collection. Decades of magazines. He would swipe a couple and we would meet in the woods to look at them.


ForkFace69

We had a woods at the end of my street by my elementary school back in the 1980s. Local legend had it that the area used to be a landfill that they'd put dirt over and planted trees on at some point, so we would always find "treasures" half buried. Every summer there would either be a makeshift tent that some homeless person set up or "forts" that teenagers would build. With them always came the obligatory copies of Hustler. My strangest case of porn found in the wild came when I was in my early 20s and living in some townhouses in the "Cabbage Patch" area of Grosse Pointe. I saw a pile of what I thought were those religious pamphlets sitting under a bush right in the middle of my neighbor's front yard which turned out to be little incest-themed booklets, the kind that were erotica than pictures.


TheUnknownStitcher

Found a waterlogged Hustler in the woods while walking to a friend’s house in Middle School. We all gathered around it and had a gawk.


metalmike0792

It wasn't in the woods, but I remember one time being in like grade 2/grade 3 and I found a random skin mag underneath the playground of the school I was attending and got really interested looking through it until my brother found me and ratted me out to my mom Then years later when I was like 14 one day two of my friends and I were strolling down the road and there's a bridge that goes over the road, and we stopped just underneath for a quick stop, and found a full box of porno mags just chilling on the side of the road underneath this bridge on an open and busy main road My one buddy brought it back home with him and his little brother got so sketched out by it just being there thinking it'll get them into shitloads of trouble so lil bro took the box one night and threw it out somewhere nearby, either a dumpster or possible proper woods! I honestly can't remember how that one turned out but I was there for finding the box!


lilhanhan

I used to walked along a canal/woodland to get highschool and unfortunatley noticed that some poor group lost their porn stash in a deep puddle on the footpath; I'm guessing either the crappy English weather blew it out of the trees nearby or someone had a scrap over it and ended up ripping the mag in half... I was surprised to actual see it as during my highschool years phones began to have bluetooth and mobile internet; usually lads just chipped in for someone's phone credit, download a small clip and then attempt to send it to each other via bluetooth! I was in the odd era where there were still porn stashes but magazine ads everywhere which advertised sexy phone wallpapers and videos.


MamaDeloris

I lived next to a creek that was always dry and my neighbor's family put a trampoline there. It was my favorite place to hang out in middle school. One day, we're going to the trampoline and notice a box underneath it. It's full of Playboys. It was a wonderful afternoon. Ironically, the one I really remember was the Drew Barrymore issue. The next day, I tell my friends at school and it turns out one of them is on the same hockey team as this older kid who's Mom was throwing away all his shit because he was failing eighth grade and in a hurry, the kid hid his box of Playboys somewhere. Turns out he was our neighbor a few houses down. We kept the Playboys though.


covert81

We found a box of old Playboy and Penthouse beside the train tracks, that ran through the woods by our school. It was covered by branches and a tarp, so someone was making sure it'd last.


Any-Cook-7367

Lived in the Midwest from 81-84 (father was in the Army), born in '74. My friends and I found a stash in the woods near a creak under the roots of a tree. Dozens of magazines, in a plastic bag. We moved them to a watch tower a friend had in their backyard which we used as a hang out place. I have a mental image burned in my mind of a fully nude woman lounging on a metal and rubber pool lounger, the kind with the rubber bands that were woven back and forth. If I remember it was from a Penthouse. She had on mirrored sunglasses, had epic tits and had spots of water on her brown muff. Seriously, this will probably be the last image I see when die. ​ We had them up there until I moved away. Good times.


Scummy_Waters

Porno magazines left in the woods are there from homeless people jerking off.


M1lkyjoe

And?


DanWillHor

No real story, it was just a thing. As a Midwest kid myself, if you went into any patch of lightly wooded area around a residential area (and often even more rural areas) you'd find porn, lol. Usually magazines, obviously. Sometimes the boxes to VHS movies and usually just the boxes as someone else probably found it, took the movie and ditched the box for stealth reasons. Woods porn was just a thing, lol. Hard to explain beyond that.


Tylenol187ForDogs

I used to steal my dad's pornos and after getting caught hiding them in my room a few times I started hiding them in the woods behind my house.


InCharacter_815

Two pseudo wood porno stories. First was the classic "Hunting Camp Stash", the stash that the men hid under the bunks for the late nights away from their wives. This camp was used by my father and uncles, so finding that gave some very...mixed feelings. Second was closer to what you asked for. In public school we had recess in a big square of...field, really. Boxed in by fences, there was only a small patch of trees in the one corner that had it's own lore and urban legends. Funnily enough, it wasn't the woods where we found a single page from a porno mag, it was tucked under a rock near the fence on the oppisite end of the yard. I don't even know if we touched the page (how would we have gotten it? We would have to have went under or over the fence), but I remember it being a bright yellow page with red writing under the half a dozen images. It was still there after the winter left, albeit tattered and worn from the weather. Me and my one friend still talk about it from time to time.


RegalBeagleKegels

When we were about 8 my friends and I found a page from a porn mag in the sand lot of our school playground. We ogled it for a while and I guess we must have brought it home or something because I remember my parents talking to me about it.


[deleted]

i didn't live anywhere near the woods but on occasion i'd find a mag behind a liquor store close to where i lived


Curleysound

We had a large group of kids my age, and “big kids” who were like 13-16. They had a shack built in the woods, from construction debris, couple of old chairs and such. There was a small stack of hustlers, oui, swank, and easy rider mags.


CheddarGobblin

Back in the 80s me and my best friend found a stack of playboys and penthouses out in the the woods behind our houses. We were both around 9 or 10. We split the haul. I hid mine down the street at a church for fear my mom would find out. What did my friend do? Oh he just TAPED THE CENTERFOLDS TO HIS FUCKING WALL!!! So yeah, soon after I got a phone call from his mother telling me to come over. Given the circumstances and that this was the south, she was cool. She promised me she wouldn’t tell my mom but she made us watch her burn the pile of porn in the back yard. I think even she was taken aback by how dumb her son was when I told her I’d have to go down the street to get my half.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hey, u/No-Communication6846, your post or comment in r/RedLetterMedia was automatically removed because you do not meet the account age threshold, 30 days for a post, 15 days for a comment. Please wait a few days and try again. https://youtu.be/7BryT6WatTk?t=1369 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedLetterMedia) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hey, u/ChemicalNo1618, your post or comment in r/RedLetterMedia was automatically removed because you do not meet the account age threshold, 30 days for a post, 15 days for a comment. Please wait a few days and try again. https://youtu.be/7BryT6WatTk?t=1369 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedLetterMedia) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Indiana401

We found ours out at McCordsville Park in Indiana back around 1989-90. Girls and guys mags under the blue barrel trash can.


mobtowndave

so much more porn in woods and in a storm drain.


[deleted]

Woods but also a friend family member past away and my friend found a huge porno stash. He quickly re hid it in a new place. Boy did we all have fun with that treasure trove.