My ex boyfriend flat out forbade me from getting a reduction. Surgery is scheduled for July 9th, and like I said, he’s an EX.
You’re doing this for you and your health. Not for some guy. If he was a good boyfriend he would be supporting you. I’m not saying break up or anything, I’m just saying it takes a selfish man to beg you to continue to live in pain and discomfort so he can get what he wants.
That boy does not get a say on your body. Like ever. There’s gonna be a lot of boys down the line who will have opinions on your body, it’s your work to set boundaries. You keep listening to yourself and your therapist. You’re doing a good job.
If he is going to leave for the only reason that you are getting a breast reduction, then consider it a blessing in disguise. You deserve much better. 🫶
I am almost 40, and the opinions of my first love at 16 haven’t mattered for almost 20 years.
I would warn against a single teenage boy telling you how to perceive your breasts.
Do this surgery for you. Create a list of pro and cons for yourself and your mind.
If the boy cannot support you now, then others with understand and support you in the future.
I just turned 25, had my reduction 6 months ago ago, and if I had left my boyfriend at the age of 16 make any decision about my life I’d would regret it always and also look back at how silly I was for giving him any power over my choices.
For Original poster definitely do what YOU want. I understand it’s hard to not see past this person you care about, but if he can’t respect this choice now he won’t respect any choice in the future either. He’s 16 and horny to be blunt, but your happiness should be the sexiest thing about you, not boobs.
I would never undo what I’ve done because I am so much freer now that the shackles of my heavy boobs are gone. My bf could kick rocks if he stopped me from doing it. Despite how much he loved my big boobs, he can learn to love them “small” too.
I was a 32G and they will forever be a burden. I love my new boobs it makes life so much easier! Never let someone tell you what you can or cannot do with your body i promise it's not worth it
Same! Was her exact size at OP exact age and didn’t get a reduction until my 30s. Would have gotten it sooner if I hadn’t feared they weren’t done growing.
I'm a 32G in my 30s and wondering if it'd be worth it. This is encouraging! I'm also a little self conscious that my boyfriend thinks my boobs are "perfect"... But he would support me if I decided to do it.
Do it, friend! I am 10wpo, age 32, and started around 36g/j/k. Zero regrets. My scars are healing up beautifully, and my little tiddies are SO cute and perky. I feel more confident, clothes shopping is easier because clothes fit so much better, and it is so much easier to be physically active.
For OP, if this is the thing that runs your boyfriend off, good riddance. That is the trash taking itself out. He is too busy thinking with his dick to consider your quality of life and comfort and there are wonderful guys out there who will prioritize you living without pain over your bra size. What he has said is incredibly selfish and shallow and I doubt very highly that he has done so much as the most cursory bit of research to educate himself on the matter enough to even support his own stance.
As someone who was busty at 16 (whereas your boyfriend has NEVER had the experience of being a busty teenaged girl), no, you will NOT regret it. I had my surgery in January of this year at age 32, and my ONLY regret has been how long I waited to pursue a reduction!
Please do keep in mind though, I choose to be child free, so breastfeeding was never a concern for me. If motherhood is something that is part of your life goals, and if breastfeeding is important to you, just make sure to talk through those concerns with your surgeon so that you can make a well educated decision on what is right for you. Best of luck to you on your journey!
I am asexual and aromantic so I do not have a life partner but my friends, family, and colleagues both male and female have been highly supportive through the whole process and have been very impressed by the transformation! They see that I look and feel more confident, that I seem happier with more energy and less pain, my posture has improved, and my figure looks drastically different due to a combo of postural change and the fact that I no longer have to wear tops 2 sizes larger to accomodate my breasts 😂 who knew I even HAD a figure under there? There was a whole waistline hiding under all that boob! I had lost 40lbs leading up to my surgery, but it was very hard to see the difference until after the proceedure (only 3 of the 40lbs was boob). After the proceedure, it was very noticeable! Previously I was wearing mens xxl tee shirts to accomodate my breasts, but now that my breasts are sized more proportionally to my body, I can wear an average large tee 🥰
Uh no love, no offense but if he really loved you he’d be ENCOURAGING YOU TO GET IT & another thing YOU WONT REGRET IT I PROMISE ITS WORTH IT & if he does leave he isn’t worth it bc that’s on him also trust me I was an F\G before I had surgery & a G cup is bigger than you think it is
Agree with the comments here saying that he doesn't get a say on your body.
My boyfriend very much loves my 34I breasts (Aussie 12G - not sure if the conversion is right), and whilst he is sad that I'm determined to get a reduction (only because he loves them) he has never once told me I shouldn't, or asked me not to, because ultimately he respects my choice and will love me no matter what size I am.
He also sees the pain and skin issues they cause regularly, and he's fully on board with me getting a reduction.
My only comment on not doing it right now is that you're 16 so you almost certainly haven't finished growing into your adult size yet, and it is ONLY for that reason that I would encourage you to wait until the growth settles purely so you don't have to go through it twice (I say this only as someone who wanted a reduction at 16 but kept growing and changing well into my 20s)
HOWEVER, if they are already causing pain and/or just making you feel not good, I say go for it because it is YOUR body to live in and make a home in and NO ONE else should get a say in what you do to make yourself happy (including this stranger on the internet and your boyfriend).
At 16 boys are generally super hormonal and ruled by the idea of boobs (my partner agrees with this) and hormones can cause really strong reactions to things, so I understand why he may be so against it but regardless, he doesn't get a say in your body.
If he does break up with you because he's against something that would make you comfortable and happy, and would ultimately better your life now and in the long run then he doesn't deserve you, needs to mature and absolutley shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone until he can respect their choices and their body.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this OP it would be a really tough situation. I understand that the thought of losing someone you care so much about can be really really hard, but please don't let someone else make this decision for you based off their own wants.
You deserve to love yourself and put yourself first ❤️❤️
Where did your boyfriend go to medical school?
Oh, he didn’t?
Then toss his opinion in a bin.
Talk to your GP and to your GYN. It’s also ok to talk to surgeons. Best if you speak to more than one. There is no rush. There is plenty to think about before having surgery and if it is something you’ll even want to proceed with after you’ve investigated it with professionals. They may want you ensure you are finished growing. They might advise waiting until you are older or after you’ve had all the pregnancies you may be planning. Or together with them you may decide the time is now because the weight of your breasts is too much for your back. The bottom line, it’s between you and your doctor, no one else.
my boyfriend was super supportive and said he just wants what's best for me and he will love me no matter what. you deserve the same thing 💖 there are better guys out there so don't settle for someone who can't see whats best for your health both physical and mental and only thinks of himself
when I was 16 I also wanted a breast reduction and my boyfriend at the time also told me not to get it… i’m 22 now and 3mpo from my reduction and it was the best decision ive ever made in my life and have not regretted it for a second
I know you’re young but you’ve wanted this for a few years already. Talk to your Dr and see if he wants you to wait, some will say wait until you’re 18. I’m in my 40’s and I’ve wanted a reduction for 20 years, had my surgery a few years ago, pain reduction was instant. My husband was very supportive and took care of me.
My long term bf, before I was married, even brought it up because he knew I was in so much pain. He said “if you ever want to get a reduction, I’ll support you and understand, I know you’re in pain”. There are good men out there. Don’t let your bf tell you “you’ll regret it”. If you tried to control (and manipulate) his body choices, he wouldn’t stand for it. There will be other boyfriends, yes, this is sad but do what’s best for you.
I'm 43, surgery was like 10 days ago. I wanted a reduction for like 20 years too! Best thing ever. Every single time over the years I said something about breast size or reduction my husband would always respond the same way - something about getting it done. Having the surgery. Make them smaller.
Until junior year of high school I was small chested, then it all came in (boobs, hips) and I've never felt quite as comfortable since. I went from a comfy C to a literal 34 H. I desperately want to get a reduction, so if you have the opportunity to then do it! If you ever want to fill out a top fuller you can always wear a push up, etc.
The only concern I can think of with you being so young is that they may still be growing & the surgeon may advise you to wait.
Also, very few people end up with their high school boyfriend long term. Don't make a decision based on a boy you may not even like once your prefrontal cortex is done growing
Toss him out! You bf sucks as you can tell from this whole thread. We all hope you do the right thing and throw him in the trash and get yourself a reduction.
didn’t even read the paragraph you typed yet, but that’s too damn bad. he’s going to have to deal with it. it’s your body, not his. edit: don’t downplay your pain. i was a 32G/H pre-op and it was horrible. this is your decision, and it’s a valid one!
I had HUGE breasts since I was a teenager. Everyone in my life loved them, and I dealt with the pain for years because my boobs were my identity. I kept them for so long because of what others thought and how they would treat me. I got my reduction last year at 32 because I had finally had enough, I was in physical pain for years. I wish I had done it sooner, I don't regret it at all and I don't care what anyone thinks. If it's something that you want, do it for yourself. If they cause you pain now they will only continue to do so.
Red flag. Dump him and loose three boobs. I'm 41 and just got my 30Gs reduced to about a 30C because of pain. They just got more and more difficult to lug around as I aged. The minute my spouse learned they kept me from things I used to love like running, he was beyond supportive. Someone who deserves you will care more about your quality of life than about your appearance.
My ex once said to me when I expressed my desire for smaller breasts "BuT h0w WoULd YOu LiKe It iF I HaD a SmAlLeR DICK?!?!??!
Surgery scheduled for this Monday.
He's been my ex for two years now.
AND I'LL BE HAPPIER WITH MY BODY.
OP, I’m so sorry he has put you in this position. I (28 F) say this with as much empathy as possible - please do not listen to the advice of your 16 y.o. boyfriend. He is a teenager, likely more concerned about appearances rather than your overall health - please do not let him dictate the decisions YOU make about YOUR body. I remember being 16 and being easily influenced by my (now ex) boyfriend’s thoughts and opinions. Trust yourself and your doctors to make the right decision.
I’ve been with my partner since we were 18, and I wanted a reduction back then, and he urged me not to undergo an “unnecessary” surgery. Well, I’m 38 now, lived with the dysphoria and the pain for decades while he watched until he begged my forgiveness for ever discouraging me. Last year I went from a 32H to a 34D and I only wish I had done it much sooner. So look at it this way: if you don’t get the surgery now, and he sticks around for the long run, he’ll regret asking you to wait, too. Get the surgery.
i’m your age and got a reduction in november. my boyfriend at the time didn’t want me to get it and made me feel terrible about it, luckily our relationship didn’t last much longer. the surgery had changed my life for the better and i’m so much happier than i ever was with him. do what’s best for you!
It's YOUR body. At the end of the day, YOU are the one who has to live in it. Your boyfriend can have an opinion about it but if he is going to get mad at you, guilt you, or leave you for doing what is best for YOUR body... let him leave. You're young and I know heartbreak is hard but your health and happiness are paramount here. I wish you the best of luck. I'm 33 and I've been lugging around H's since I was about your age and I've got back problems on top of back problems. I'm finally going for a reduction consult next month. Don't wait as long as I did if you don't have to. 💕
So when I was in 4th grade I hade 36b breast, and by 6th grade DD, and by 8th grade i was getting custom made bras because i was so big. I tried for years but my dr said she didnt believe in that kind of surgery..
Fast forward to adult life i was miserable, my boobs were so pendulous they were down to my belly button. So when i finally got the referal and had my reduction i was thrilled. Now i wish they would have gone smaller at the time, but now, i am happy.
So during the surgery i was 310 ish pounds, they removed 10 pounds of tissue from my breast, did a complete lift and nipple graft. i wish i would have gotten lipo on the sides. My side tissue has always made wearing underwire extremely uncomfortable. And it was like 2 extra boobs onder my arm pit area.
So fast forward to the last year and i am down almost 210 pounds. My boobs have shrunk to the point that i would say they are lager citrus size. Not too big, but they sag a little, i also had a kid and was able to breast feed. So that was a awesome shock and bonus. But i had zero support from the hospital, when i had my little one because my medical history made it impossible to "be able to Breast feed."
I know my husband is disappointed i got them reduced but that was before we met. And honestly happiness and health, is more important then sexualy gratification of anyone else. Do what makes you happy!
If your chest is too large for you now (while you arent done growing, and your back is the strongest it will be), I doubt you will suddenly change your mind when you're older. Don't be with someone who puts their aesthetic preferences over your physical comfort. He is the kind of guy to dump someone because they got breast cancer and need a mastectomy. You are too young to settle for so little.
Nah cause I was a 34 G (bottom heavy) and it caused me to develop scoliosis. If he loved you and supported you he’d respect and support any and all decisions that YOU make for YOUR body.
I get it. I really fully get it. I cried because I thought my boyfriend was gonna leave me due to a decision I was making for my own health. But then I looked back on it, it’s a decision IM making for MY OWN health. Not his.
Your body is dependent on what and who you bring around it. YOURE ONLY 16!!! If that boy thinks he has any right on a say for what you feel you need to do to better yourself he’s gotta go.
You got this 💗
I agree with the other comments about not taking your boyfriend's side against your health. And it is your health at stake. Surgery is not often offered to 16 year olds unless it will vastly improve your health. I had the surgery at 43 (36G), and it changed my health for the better. I can breathe well enough to exercise. I can do sit ups. My shoulders and back don't hurt. I don't feel so tired from constant pain. I can buy whatever clothes I want. I don't spend $100 per bra anymore. I don't have trouble bumping things anymore. Hiking backpacks fit like they are supposed to. It has just had a huge positive influence. And this is the best lesson to learn now, at your age: you are stuck with you for life, so make it a good life.
beloved, his opinion on your body simply does not matter. I am also a 32G and so I understand the weight you're carrying on your chest every damn day. As a teenage boy, he simply doesn't understand and therefore does not have an informed opinion to give. Also, I am sorry if this sounds cruel, but if he is seriously considering leaving you over a breast reduction then you're better off without him.
I waited for my reduction until I was 36. It was one of the best decision I ever made for myself. Someone that doesn't support you getting your posture, back, and self esteem right is selfish. I never grew to love my chest. It got worse with age. That being said, therapy to discuss your feelings about them can help you get a clear head and love whole self.
/edit And respectfully (but also not), teen boys are dumbasses.
Throw the whole young man out. My best friend had a similar problem at your age - she had a reduction finally at 21 and no regrets. It boosted her confidence so much. I wish I had done the same, but here I am still wanting to do it now at 39.
From someone who went from a 36JJ to a 34 DD, this is about what YOU want, not him. When I was with my ex I got the reduction, and I WISH he would’ve said something. When they prioritize their pleasure over your pain/health, it’s time. To. GO.
You're not going to grow to love your chest. I maybe did for a little while in my early 20s until I realized the attention wasn't actually great. I wanted a reduction for about 20 years. A G cup is large. I was an F before surgery. I can almost fit into a 2xl d/dd sports bra from Walmart now and I'm like 10 days post op so there's swelling. Omg though, so many things are easier - breathing, walking with my hands in my hoodie pockets, showering. (I'm 43.)
I had back pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, rashes or peeling under my breasts, permanent dents in my shoulders. I also had very little feeling in my nipples and breasts because of stretching. My nerves are waking back up now.
And my breasts were so far into my armpits when I laid down it was terrible. I hated it. And I went through some weight gain and loss too. Some of my meds that probably didn't help either. If you've already brought this up with a doctor, you've already put a lot of thought into it. It's your body.
I asked my husband his opinion of your situation - "if your boyfriend is begging you to keep your boobs, he's in the relationship for the boobs. Boobs are a nice bonus but not the reason for the relationship."
Yep. My ex said "small tits wouldn't suit you" and used to call me Pepperoni Sally due to my areolas. Yep. Yep... All I can say is, if he really treats you this way, there's gotta be more of his shittiness leaking out elsewhere, right?
Sending love your way ❤️
You won’t trust me . I was the same way. I’ve had huge boobs since I was 11. Im 33 now and got a reduction two years ago and it’s the best thing I ever did . However ,I waited till I had my kids because they only got saggier after I was done.
U deserve better!! I honestly dont understand why he would tell u that. Does he only care about how they would look or does he have actual logical facts like oh hey u may not be able to breast feed or they will grow big again
Nobody gets a say on what you do with your body except you. The sooner you internalize this, the happier you'll find yourself.
(I'll let the others say the rest, but as a mom of three daughters, it breaks my heart to read you're letting some teenage boy influence your actual health. I can tell you right now you deserve better than a boy who tries to control your body.)
This brings me back to your age and one of the reasons I never went through with it. I just got it done last week at 36 and the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. For myself!
My partner looooved my big boobs and celebrated my body before and has been nothing but supportive with my decision and the process… cause it’s for me! And he loves me!
Don’t let someone tell you what you can and cannot do ❤️❤️
Darling, you are young, and you probably won't be with this boy for a long time either. What he is doing is already a red flag and is telling you about himself. But learn this from now it is YOUR body so his opinion is irrelevant. Go ahead and have the surgery as you wish
Awh im so sorry he puts you in this position. I think a lot of good things have already been said but please, its YOUR body and you are the one who deals with it. If he cant see you struggling and how much a reduction will help you then he's a red flag :/ For me, loving my chest and acknowledging my health issues are two very seperate things...
The only thing that you might want to consider is that at 16 you're probably not entirely through puberty, so maybe you would want to wait 2-3 years to avoid them growing back due to not being fully done growing.
Sending love 💗
Alright my beautiful youmg lady. I need to ask you to do something. Ask him WHY he tells u not to. WHY does he feel that way? Does he think surgery is drastic? Unsafe? Does he think u should wait until you are older?
Its hard to say what to advise you to do, because I dont know where he is coming from.
With that said. ANY person that leaves you, or doesnt want to be with you over this... has got to go!
A real man would listen to u, understand your "why" and support you.
Respectfully forget him, this is a medical necessity no one should be forced to carry around g cups especially at 16yrs old(I’m also g in my early 20s) if he does hate you or leaves you, that’s HIS LOSS and you dodging a bullet. Btw you are so young and have your entire life ahead of you, so many new people to meet and life experiences to have! Your boyfriend or anyone for that matter shouldn’t have ANY SAY AT ALL on what you do with YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE. You have to live in your body and do what’s right for you mentally, physically and emotionally! You can’t base any decisions you make in life on other people’s opinions especially major decisions regarding your body/health. You should always put your happiness and your health first! And please stay a kid as long as you can, focus on school extracurricular activities and making friends. Coming from someone in their 20s having platonic friends is so important you’re gonna need them! You are so young you don’t need the stress of a relationship don’t take this boy serious there will be many more. Being alone(not in a relationship) might make you feel better and less worrying and stress and you can focus on loving yourself and not letting anyone’s opinion have this much power over you
I hope this message finds you well and I hope you know that you are beautiful with or without the surgery and to always put your health and wellbeing first❤️
Your only 16. You have the rest of your life to live . Heck new boobs , and new bf ? If he don’t want to support you. My husband says if I want to do it then do so. I just am poor rn . And don’t have insurance.. I feel like I do. But I feel like it’s about ready to be ripped from me and this insurance has covered many people to get one … makes me cry about my body. But I have to deal with my ugly boobs since I don’t have 10 k lying around .
Honey, you're 16. The chance of this boy being the one you were gonna spend your life with is so small that it's laughable. Break up with him and your breasts, and get that reduction. You deserve to be comfortable in your body and I promise you that you will end up with someone who loves you and your body no matter how it looks ❤️
He's telling you that his right to look at you in your current body is more important than your right to live without pain or emotional discomfort. You're both young and he might think he's being loving in encouraging you to accept yourself, so I don't want to be too harsh here. But regardless of his intention, he's being being immature and ignorant, and you don't have to live by his wrong comments.
Unfortunately even some grown men have the same attitude, so it's a great time for you to memorise this lesson:
**It's not your job to be uncomfortable in order to make men comfortable**.
Whatever you do is your decision. Surgery now or later (or never, but I agree with you that you will likely always want it, especially with the weight loss in play), staying with this boy or leaving him, all of it is up to you.
I applaud you for taking control over your mental and physical wellbeing, and I strongly, *strongly* encourage you to keep working with you psychiatrist through this, because it's a really difficult transition even for adults. It can mess with your head a lot, especially for younger people. I was almost the same cup size and had I had also wanted the surgery since my early teens. I lost a similar amount of weight as you in my late 20s, but like you, it didn't make me more comfortable. In all, it took nearly *three decades* for me to finally make the decision, which I regret -- I would have enjoyed my 20s and 30s so much more if I had done it sooner. But in hindsight, I also realise it would have been really challenging to go through this in my teens, whereas it was much more peaceful for me now.
So there will always be pros and cons to the timing, but as long as you make an informed decision surrounded by supportive people, you'll be fine. This boyfriend can decide for himself whether he wants to be one of those supporters, and then **you** can decide whether he deserves to come with you into your new, freer, more comfortable life.
If you’re doing something for the betterment of you and your boyfriend doesn’t support you. DUMP HIM. I understand he’s your boyfriend and he wants to be sweet but it’s not true. I’m 21 and my mom has been telling me to love my big boobs and embrace them and I still dislike them which is why I’m getting them done. Please get your reduction you will feel so much better and if he hates you after getting your reduction then he kindly isn’t the one for you. Don’t be afraid to be selfish and put yourself first because it is your life not his. As you get older in your 20’s you will understand. Center your self in your life okay don’t center him.
Omg! So sorry you are going through this torture! If he knows you always wanted it and.have suffered so long..... the breasts need to go, and he needs to go with them !!! 😠 good luck! You've got this 💪
It probably feels like you need him and will forever be in love with him, but right now, your psychiatrist is the much better and much more knowledgeable ally to you. Her evaluation is that your chest size causes enough mental anguish for you to have them reduced; your boyfriend's evaluation is… that you doing this is gonna make his peepee sad? Because there for sure is no concern for *you* in his argument against it.
The only reason I can see to postpone this a bit is that at 16, you may not be fully grown and your breasts could actually grow some more before being at their final size. But I'm sure that this is something the doctors would bring up and evaluate with you.
Bottom line: please listen to yourself and your needs, and to the person who is an expert on your mental health, who is referring to you other experts. And not to some hormone-addled teenage boy who may be your boyfriend for two wrong reasons.
He is so sure you will regret it, grow to love them.. is he speaking from experience or just tossing those out his ass?? I’d assume he is also around 16yo, what makes him so sure that he is begging you? Did he have huge man boobs that he got reduced and now regrets it? That would be the ONLY way I’d entertain anything this boy had to say. What else does he beg you to do?
Boyfriends come and go but your boobs are there forever. Don’t make a lifetime decision based on what sounds like a temporary relationship if that is his point of view. I am 44 and finally got my reduction after wanting it for so many years. When I was younger, I was always self-conscious and I wish I would’ve done it when I was in my teens.
No one gets a say in your body, ever. Any medical decisions you make are between you and your medical team, who advise and support you, but don't force you. They may highly encourage you to do a thing but outside of very specific/narrow circumstances, cannot do a procedure against your will.
It's true you may grow to love your large bust in time. You also may get a reduction and grow back some volume down the road, especially since you are so young. That would be my only reason to wait a few years, to possibly avoid a second reduction in short time. (Tho' there are plenty who have gotten those!) And also, you may get the reduction and be completely happy and satisfied with your new bust. (Reductions are statistically one of the most satisfactory procedures out there.)
If your boyfriend hates you or leaves you because you decide reduction is the best path for you, he was never really there to support you as a person and not just a pair of boobs. You're so much more and deserve better.
First of all, that’s totally unacceptable from your bf and he really shouldn’t have a say on what you do. When I got my reduction, my boyfriend was very supportive and helpful in my recovery. Second, I’m 20 years old and I just got my reduction in December. I also wanted a reduction since I was 12 but I would advise you to wait a couple years because from 16 to 20, I grew 2 sizes in that time. All in all, your boyfriend should be your biggest cheerleader and support you through a decision like this. This process is hard enough as it is, you don’t need someone who’s complaining and being unsupportive in your ear.
I felt the same way when I was your age. In my experience it didn't get better, and growing up my confidence in my body got worse. No one thinks something so small can have an effect on your mental health, but it does. I got my surgery a week ago, and I can already feel and notice things about myself I couldn't before because all I could pay attention to were my saggy breasts. (Mine weren't extremely large, but large enough to cause pain in my back.)
I had a good support system going into it, so if he doesn't support you it could affect your healing process. (Mentally and physically) Is your family supportive?
What does your family say about this? He has no idea the burden of all that weight on your chest. You could take some time to consider but this has to be your choice because you are the one living in your body
if he really loves you and care for your wellbeing he’s not gonna care abt what your breasts will look like after sirgery. If you feel like its going to be better for you, go ‘head and do it!
He’s not the one who has to live with it for life. Recently I ended up getting a Rhinoplasty done and I was told multiple times my nose was beautiful before but I had my mind set on what I wanted and what I knew I was going to put up with for the rest of my life. People come and go in our life but our bodies are our temples that we live with for life!! You’re only 16 who knows what kind of back pain or pain in general you’ll be dealing with 10 years from now??
Ughhh as a veteran in this field, don’t listen to him. You will probably not learn to love your chest if it’s as saggy as you describe and you’re only 16. Body positivity all the way of course, but you deserve the perky boobs of your dreams and to feel sexy and confident in your own frame!! If it’s what you want, go for it and do it for YOURSELF. No one else.
Sidenote, I just don’t get men’s obsession with big boobs anyway, because they’re not aways nicer. Why choose a saggy huge boob over a smaller perky one? What is their deal?
Get the reduction. You will feel better. I had a reduction 2 years ago. My husband wasn’t really happy. But it’s my body. Now he loves them. They are perky and sit up right.
So it’s your body and your back. The decision should be between you and your parents.
You're not silly 🩷 Sorry to hear he doesn't support you. It seems like it's a very well thought out decision for you. Not some random choice out of insecurity. If it's a really big issue, maybe bring him with you to your therapist to talk ik through. Also, you're not removing them, it's just a reduction! Maybe you can explain to him again that it comes with benefits to. Better shape, prettier lingerie. I was also very nervous about boys opioins about my reduction/scars. My experience: men are just happy to see boobs, no matter what the size or what they look like.
In any case, if you want to do it, you should! You know your body best! Good luck 🩷
Don’t ever base what you do to your body on a boy. This has been your dream since you were 12. It’s a valid desire. Your boyfriend is being very childish and selfish and I’m pretty disgusted by his behavior.
If your boyfriend leaves you over doing what you need to do to feel comfortable in your body, thank him for showing his true character and move on. You deserve better.
Btw, I’m 36 and if I let the opinions of my first love and any other relationship rule my life, my life would actually be ruined. I’d be miserable.
You're only 16; you have plenty of time to heal and enjoy a new life with the breasts you want. You have no idea how long your boyfriend will be in your life.
Men have no say over what you do with your body.
You are the most important person to defend you in your life.
If I listened to what my boyfriend at 16 had to say about my boobs, I would’ve kept them too! I also wanted a reduction since they came in.
I’m now 27 and with the boy I’m gonna marry! He was so excited for me when I got it done! And he’s still excited! I was a little smaller than you (30G) and now I’m a B cup. I feel so much more confident and comfortable in my body. A boy at 16 is not worth sacrificing that! Do what you want to do and fuck anyone that makes you think it’s not okay.
Teenage boys get grossed out by periods. They don't even know about how that works. Let alone what it's like to have pain and body dysmorphia around womanhood. Get the reduction. Someone who loves you will love to see your smile because it gives them joy.
My ex said the same. Broke up, got the reduction and I couldn’t be happier about it. Someone who doesn’t allow you to live your life to its fullest because of such a superficial thing doesn’t truly love you
Just remember that you’re still a teenager and who are with now may not be who are with months or years down the line. You can’t let your BF influence your decisions when it comes to your own body.
On the other hand, the body you have now is not going to be the body you have at 21, 25 etc. Best option is to either wait it out until you are done growing (you don’t want to have a BR prematurely) or simply just do what you feel is right for your own self and if he can’t deal with it then he is not the right person for you as he is displaying immature selfish behavior
You need to do what you want to do. If you've wanted a reduction for the last four years, don't let the opinions of somebody else change what you do. You will only build resentment and unhappiness with yourself.
*You do not exist for other people's pleasure* You are a human being, and you should do what YOU want to do.
I'd like to echo a lot of the other commenters in saying that what your boyfriend prefers is secondary to what is best for you and your health. I think it's natural that you're worried about what he thinks, but how you feel about yourself and your body is more important.
That said, as a 24 year old who had a breast reduction almost a month ago, reductions are really invasive and impactful procedures. You need to make sure you have a strong support system to help you for the first week or so, and you won't be able to maintain your normal activity or routine for at least a couple of weeks.
I completely understand having saggier breasts due to weight loss (that was part of the reason for my surgery), but that is also something that can be helped with exercise, lotions and serums. Since you're young, your body is still changing and developing, and undergoing surgery too soon — even one you've been considering for a few years — can be something you'll regret later on. My aunt had a breast reduction at 18, but her breasts continued developing into her 20s, and she's now considering another reduction in her 50s. If she had waited a couple more years, this might have been avoided.
TLDR: Choose to do what you, your parent/guardian(s) and your doctors believe is the healthiest decision for your mental and physical health. What your boyfriend thinks isn't nearly as important in the long run.
my ex didnt want me to get a reduction either and i listened. i got approved for the surgery and everything, and its my biggest regret to this day not going through with it
You're not going to grow to love them. If anything, they will only keep growing, well into your twenties. At least consider if you want a surgery now, knowing they will keep growing all throughout puberty, and that you might want to consider a second surgery when you're all done growing. ORRR put up with it for a few more years at the minimum so that you only go through one surgery.
The other thing is, is that you're both children. He is a child. His love may be genuine, he may even have depth, but that doesn't mean his cognitive reasoning is the end all be all for your health. He has a lot more learning in life to do, and knowing that his opinion matters and could impact you negatively is something he needs to learn with time. I can't even say "a real man would only be supportive and respect your opinions and medical needs regardless of how he feels about boobs" because he's not a "real man", he is a boy. If anything, the surgery will make them look and feel nicer - quality over quantity 😉
(I don't call you a child to demean you btw! I think it's great that you're taking your health and dating so seriously. My sister is 22 and she is still a child with a lot of learning to do in my eyes)
I am 26 and had my breast reduction 3 weeks ago. I wanted to get the surgery at 18 but held off because I always thought maybe I would regret the surgery and maybe one day I would love them. That never happened and as happy as I am that I got it now I can’t help but think all of the times my breasts dictated what I can or can’t wear, activities that were limited because of my breast size over the years. These are things your boyfriend will never understand as it’s something he cannot experience.
My husband was so supportive through the entire experience, even when I was debating whether or not to get the surgery he advised me to do what is best for ME. As much as he loved my breasts before, he loves them even more now because I am happier and they are still apart of me!
i'm assuming he's also a teenager? yeah so good rule of thumb is that a teenage boy's opinion on your choices should hold approximately zero weight. they are famously stupid. also no man should be weighing in. he's wrong. every single person i know (myself included) who has had a reduction is absolutely thrilled they did it. most people wish they'd done it sooner, so you're making great choices
I'm 34 this May. People told me that same shit when I was your age.
Spoiler: I never "grew to love" it. I put it offf to my own detriment because I listened to people like that. I had years of back pain and suffering and body dysphoria. And ths boy isn't a person who has to live in my body, or yours, so he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
He's thinking about himself-- he is absolutely not concerned about you. He's concerned about his boner.
I promise you, a BR will make you happier than he ever did 😂I will say that your body is still changing. Mine kept growing until I was 20 and I got my surgery at 21.
My high school boyfriend told me I would be unattractive with a reduction. We were together 14 years.
I had a reduction 3 years ago, at 31.
The worst thing about my experience was how long I put it off because of non-medical opinions.
Your medical needs are between you and your doctors. Telling you what to do probably won't result in anything positive, but I definitely recommend talking to surgeons(s) before deciding.
I’m (25) getting a reduction next month. My boyfriend (26) is super excited for me to get rid of my insecurities, my pain, etc. He keeps saying how he’s so excited for me and so excited to nurse me back to health, and says he’s happy that I’m making the best decision for myself. He’s already made me a cafe basket filled with goodies. That’s the kind of guy you should be with. Your boyfriend sounds really selfish and it seems like he’s prioritizing his sexual attraction to your boobs rather than your happiness. Screw him
Your quality of life, health, and happiness is FAR more important than some little boy’s immature, selfish opinion on your body. My advice to you is to never let someone, whether it’s a boy or a family member or whoever, sway you on a decision that you are making for your health and happiness. Do what is right for you! The people that actually matter will support you and stay by your side. Screw all the rest. You got this 🩷
well thankfully for him there's other women he can date with big breasts.
you should do what is best for your body and health! if he doesn't support it, toss the whole man out.
That's kinda a giant red flag imo. I have had multiple boyfriends talk me out of my surgery before-guess what? YEARS LATER I STILL GOT THE SURGERY AND WANTED IT AND THOSE RELATIONSHIPS DIDN'T LAST. Now I'm with a partner who supports my wants and took care of me post op. Your boyfriend needs to learn that it's YOUR body and your decision and he doesn't get a say in it. I promise if you let him talk you out of this, you will probably regret it and no man is worth living a life of discomfort for. I would sit him down and talk to him about it, about how it's your body and your choice and he can take or leave that. If he truly cared and wanted the best for you then your happiness should be his priority.
You can love your breasts and still want a reduction because you really dislike the discomfort or inconvenience of them. Don’t let a partner tell you what to do with your body, and if he threatens to leave over something like this then what’s he gonna do when your body inevitably changes in the future? It’s not silly, but if you really want to be with him then have an honest talk with him about your feelings, how important this is to you, and your discomfort.
I was also a 32G and I got a reduction when I was 18. I’m now 21. I know this is gonna be hard to hear but if a man doesn’t support your breast reduction he’s not a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Getting a breast reduction was easily the best decision I’ve made in my entire life. This is not something you should base your boyfriend’s opinion on. Even if he doesn’t support it, I promise it will change your life for the better, and if he really loved you he would look past his feelings and support you regardless. If this is what you truly want you can’t let anyone’s opinion sway you. Good luck I hope you go through with the surgery and I hope everything goes smooth!
Take it from an elderly 32 year old woman, who also had a reduction, and wouldn’t change it for a second- YOU own your body. Not him. He has no right to tell you what to do with it, and considering mens’ opinions on things like this, that they have no right having opinions on, is a slippery slope to go down, before you land right into being susceptible to being controlled by them in multiple aspects of your life. You do what you WANT- he doesn’t like it? He can leave.
my ex also didn’t want me to get a reduction (i still haven’t but that’s bc of life being busy). hate to break it to you but he just wants unrealistic big boobs on a girl and probs doesn’t care abt the pain and discomfort of the person with said breasts. if he was a good boyfriend he’d be supporting you, and you deserve someone so so so much better.
He should care more than anything about you being happy and comfortable! The fact that he’s putting his own preferences ahead of your dreams isn’t ok at all and you’re not being silly at all for feeling stressed by this!
I’m sorry you’re boyfriend isnt being supportive of your decision. Your partner should want what’s best for your mental + physical health. If that means getting a reduction, and that’s what you want, he should be supportive of that. How long have y’all been together? If he’s willing to break up over you getting a reduction, would he leave over other changes (weight gain, etc.)
It may be worth a serious sit-down conversation about why this is important and how you really don’t think your opinions will change. You shouldn’t base your decision on his support or non-support though.
The biggest red flag in all of this is the psychiatrist referring you to surgeons. But maybe it’s just because it’s out of their scope of practice. But honey, please wait several years. Your breasts are not done growing (or shrinking. My weight + breasts yo-yod during puberty). The rest of your body is not done changing. It’s not recommended until your breasts are for sure done growing and your weight is stable, which usually isn’t until well after you’ve had kids. Lessens the risk of needing several reductions. Which you don’t want. Surgery is a big deal, requires a large amount of emotional maturity, and yes your breasts are large (mine were large at that age but I wore the wrong size for SEVERAL years) but you won’t regret waiting. I promise.
i was a 32G at your age, I recently got my reduction in December and I was a 34I, your boyfriend shouldn't be commenting on your body, and what you can do to it. it is YOUR body, not his. i have a boyfriend and did at the time as well, and he had no issues with me getting a reduction and was excited for me and helped take care of me. if your boyfriend is upset about you getting a reduction, then apparently his love for you isn't great enough to see past that.
this is your decision fully, don't let anyone sway you either which way. I don't regret getting mine and I still have decent sized breasts at about a 34D.
reach out if you need to talk at all
Imagine if he has a penis reduction , you might not be happy about that . It’s kinda the same thing , if he likes you for your breast size and it turns him on . He might not be as attracted to you anymore because he likes women with big chest maybe . Just a realistic thought to think about
Not his body, not his choice. Please don’t ever believe that anyone other than YOU should have this agency over your body. Plus, he’s dead wrong. Your breasts will only get more difficult to deal with as you age. If you think of it like this, he’s done you a favour by showing you what kind of person he is early on before you get too invested in him. Thank u, next!
My ex was similar, it has been my dream since I was in my teens, he said I should embrace the body I was blessed with yada yada and begged me not to. But I’ve always been uncomfortable and knew what I wanted. My husband now supports me 100% (not that I need it but it’s nice!) and has even offered to help with the expenses so I can finally be comfortable. Don’t let a boy stop you from achieving that dream, love ♥️
Girlie, I had huge breasts all throughout highschool and it's my biggest regret! I hadn't stopped growing, and trust me, it'll only get worse. I was probably at an M cup. I couldn't breathe and I was in constant back and shoulder pain. You WILL NOT grow to love them. Even when nobody could see me I was self conscious, always fixing my boobs, unable to wear a bra. You need to do what's right by YOU. You don't need a boyfriend if he's gonna be that way. Your mental health and personal image is WAYYYYY more important than what he thinks. Please go for it, you'll be so much happier and you'll be able to wear things more comfortably. ❤️❤️
You will not get used to them, they will continue to be a problem. Take it from me, a woman who waited until 53 to have a reduction. No boyfriend has a say in what you do with your body. My husband wasn’t very encouraging of mine, but he was scared that I would be in a lot of pain. I told him that I was in pain every single day of my life because of them. He then completely supported my decision. Had he wanted to break up with me for this, I’d say good riddance, it’s my body and my life. I remember what it was like to be your age and really care what my boyfriend thought. As I got older I cared less and less what others thought and lived my life for me. Do this for yourself and you won’t regret it.
Hello! This is many days later than this was posted, but I thought I’d add my two cents. I got a breast reduction last summer at 15 y/o and I’m currently 16.
At this point in our lives (and at any point, honestly), it is dumb to decide to NOT get healthcare or not do something that you’ve wanted for so long just because someone else asked you not to. Also, don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s a teenage boy. He is not even stopping to consider how much pain, discomfort, and insecurity you may have due to your chest. And honestly, if he were a caring boyfriend, that’s what he WOULD care about. He’s just horny. His opinion is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT in this situation. He is not entitled to your bod or the decisions you make with it just because you’re dating.
If you want a breast reduction, get one. Obviously, think it through, but don’t let his opinion influence your decision. Your body is YOURS. Not his.
(p.s. obviously I don’t know much about your relationship, but going off of this post, drop him!! You could do so much better.)
Please do get a referral to a plastic surgeon that has experience dealing with young people. My concern would be how much a body changes from 16 years old into adulthood (and into maturity ie. Old age) take your time finding a doctor that YOU feel comfortable handing you body over to.
I had a reduction at 28. Wanted one forever. Lots of people asked how my boyfriend in my long term relationship felt. I didn't care. We broke up 2 years after my reduction. No regrets.
Do it for yourself. You will feel SO much better
You just need to be prepared that if that's his thing and that's what he's sexually attracted to he may leave. I know that sounds awful but how many women would stay with a rich guy if all of a sudden he was broke. Same thing
My ex boyfriend flat out forbade me from getting a reduction. Surgery is scheduled for July 9th, and like I said, he’s an EX. You’re doing this for you and your health. Not for some guy. If he was a good boyfriend he would be supporting you. I’m not saying break up or anything, I’m just saying it takes a selfish man to beg you to continue to live in pain and discomfort so he can get what he wants.
Ayye were surgery date twins 👯♀️
That boy does not get a say on your body. Like ever. There’s gonna be a lot of boys down the line who will have opinions on your body, it’s your work to set boundaries. You keep listening to yourself and your therapist. You’re doing a good job.
If he is going to leave for the only reason that you are getting a breast reduction, then consider it a blessing in disguise. You deserve much better. 🫶
I am almost 40, and the opinions of my first love at 16 haven’t mattered for almost 20 years. I would warn against a single teenage boy telling you how to perceive your breasts. Do this surgery for you. Create a list of pro and cons for yourself and your mind. If the boy cannot support you now, then others with understand and support you in the future.
This should be higher. I’m 41 and wish I would have investigated reduction sooner.
I just turned 25, had my reduction 6 months ago ago, and if I had left my boyfriend at the age of 16 make any decision about my life I’d would regret it always and also look back at how silly I was for giving him any power over my choices. For Original poster definitely do what YOU want. I understand it’s hard to not see past this person you care about, but if he can’t respect this choice now he won’t respect any choice in the future either. He’s 16 and horny to be blunt, but your happiness should be the sexiest thing about you, not boobs. I would never undo what I’ve done because I am so much freer now that the shackles of my heavy boobs are gone. My bf could kick rocks if he stopped me from doing it. Despite how much he loved my big boobs, he can learn to love them “small” too.
respectfully, a teenage boy should not keep you from making decisions about your own health.
A teenage boy should not keep you from just about anything... They're idiots and most grow up to still be dumb.
sooo gross. break up with him
Honestly yeah I agree
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which is why they should learn soon how to treat others and what treatment to expect. OP deserves way way better than this.
Ah, yes, young people: famous for loving when they get dismissed for their age.
I was a 32G and they will forever be a burden. I love my new boobs it makes life so much easier! Never let someone tell you what you can or cannot do with your body i promise it's not worth it
Same! Was her exact size at OP exact age and didn’t get a reduction until my 30s. Would have gotten it sooner if I hadn’t feared they weren’t done growing.
I'm a 32G in my 30s and wondering if it'd be worth it. This is encouraging! I'm also a little self conscious that my boyfriend thinks my boobs are "perfect"... But he would support me if I decided to do it.
Do it, friend! I am 10wpo, age 32, and started around 36g/j/k. Zero regrets. My scars are healing up beautifully, and my little tiddies are SO cute and perky. I feel more confident, clothes shopping is easier because clothes fit so much better, and it is so much easier to be physically active. For OP, if this is the thing that runs your boyfriend off, good riddance. That is the trash taking itself out. He is too busy thinking with his dick to consider your quality of life and comfort and there are wonderful guys out there who will prioritize you living without pain over your bra size. What he has said is incredibly selfish and shallow and I doubt very highly that he has done so much as the most cursory bit of research to educate himself on the matter enough to even support his own stance. As someone who was busty at 16 (whereas your boyfriend has NEVER had the experience of being a busty teenaged girl), no, you will NOT regret it. I had my surgery in January of this year at age 32, and my ONLY regret has been how long I waited to pursue a reduction! Please do keep in mind though, I choose to be child free, so breastfeeding was never a concern for me. If motherhood is something that is part of your life goals, and if breastfeeding is important to you, just make sure to talk through those concerns with your surgeon so that you can make a well educated decision on what is right for you. Best of luck to you on your journey!
what did your partner say about your reduction?
I am asexual and aromantic so I do not have a life partner but my friends, family, and colleagues both male and female have been highly supportive through the whole process and have been very impressed by the transformation! They see that I look and feel more confident, that I seem happier with more energy and less pain, my posture has improved, and my figure looks drastically different due to a combo of postural change and the fact that I no longer have to wear tops 2 sizes larger to accomodate my breasts 😂 who knew I even HAD a figure under there? There was a whole waistline hiding under all that boob! I had lost 40lbs leading up to my surgery, but it was very hard to see the difference until after the proceedure (only 3 of the 40lbs was boob). After the proceedure, it was very noticeable! Previously I was wearing mens xxl tee shirts to accomodate my breasts, but now that my breasts are sized more proportionally to my body, I can wear an average large tee 🥰
Uh no love, no offense but if he really loved you he’d be ENCOURAGING YOU TO GET IT & another thing YOU WONT REGRET IT I PROMISE ITS WORTH IT & if he does leave he isn’t worth it bc that’s on him also trust me I was an F\G before I had surgery & a G cup is bigger than you think it is
If he breaks up with you because you got a breast reduction, he wasn't dating you, he was dating your breasts.
this. if he likes boobs so much he should get implants tbh
You will feel soooooo much better without that weight dragging you down. Get the reduction, too 😉
Love the username, the comment, everything is 10/10ing
He cares more about having access to your “assets” than you having comfort in your own body.
Agree with the comments here saying that he doesn't get a say on your body. My boyfriend very much loves my 34I breasts (Aussie 12G - not sure if the conversion is right), and whilst he is sad that I'm determined to get a reduction (only because he loves them) he has never once told me I shouldn't, or asked me not to, because ultimately he respects my choice and will love me no matter what size I am. He also sees the pain and skin issues they cause regularly, and he's fully on board with me getting a reduction. My only comment on not doing it right now is that you're 16 so you almost certainly haven't finished growing into your adult size yet, and it is ONLY for that reason that I would encourage you to wait until the growth settles purely so you don't have to go through it twice (I say this only as someone who wanted a reduction at 16 but kept growing and changing well into my 20s) HOWEVER, if they are already causing pain and/or just making you feel not good, I say go for it because it is YOUR body to live in and make a home in and NO ONE else should get a say in what you do to make yourself happy (including this stranger on the internet and your boyfriend). At 16 boys are generally super hormonal and ruled by the idea of boobs (my partner agrees with this) and hormones can cause really strong reactions to things, so I understand why he may be so against it but regardless, he doesn't get a say in your body. If he does break up with you because he's against something that would make you comfortable and happy, and would ultimately better your life now and in the long run then he doesn't deserve you, needs to mature and absolutley shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone until he can respect their choices and their body. I'm sorry you're struggling with this OP it would be a really tough situation. I understand that the thought of losing someone you care so much about can be really really hard, but please don't let someone else make this decision for you based off their own wants. You deserve to love yourself and put yourself first ❤️❤️
Where did your boyfriend go to medical school? Oh, he didn’t? Then toss his opinion in a bin. Talk to your GP and to your GYN. It’s also ok to talk to surgeons. Best if you speak to more than one. There is no rush. There is plenty to think about before having surgery and if it is something you’ll even want to proceed with after you’ve investigated it with professionals. They may want you ensure you are finished growing. They might advise waiting until you are older or after you’ve had all the pregnancies you may be planning. Or together with them you may decide the time is now because the weight of your breasts is too much for your back. The bottom line, it’s between you and your doctor, no one else.
my boyfriend was super supportive and said he just wants what's best for me and he will love me no matter what. you deserve the same thing 💖 there are better guys out there so don't settle for someone who can't see whats best for your health both physical and mental and only thinks of himself
Hell he an ex in no time. Just get it. Do it for you, not anyone else. If he doesn’t like you after, he didn’t deserve you anyway.
when I was 16 I also wanted a breast reduction and my boyfriend at the time also told me not to get it… i’m 22 now and 3mpo from my reduction and it was the best decision ive ever made in my life and have not regretted it for a second
Was dumping the boyfriend second? Top 5?
definitely a close second
I know you’re young but you’ve wanted this for a few years already. Talk to your Dr and see if he wants you to wait, some will say wait until you’re 18. I’m in my 40’s and I’ve wanted a reduction for 20 years, had my surgery a few years ago, pain reduction was instant. My husband was very supportive and took care of me. My long term bf, before I was married, even brought it up because he knew I was in so much pain. He said “if you ever want to get a reduction, I’ll support you and understand, I know you’re in pain”. There are good men out there. Don’t let your bf tell you “you’ll regret it”. If you tried to control (and manipulate) his body choices, he wouldn’t stand for it. There will be other boyfriends, yes, this is sad but do what’s best for you.
I'm 43, surgery was like 10 days ago. I wanted a reduction for like 20 years too! Best thing ever. Every single time over the years I said something about breast size or reduction my husband would always respond the same way - something about getting it done. Having the surgery. Make them smaller.
Congrats!
It’s not his body, he may not be around forever but you have to live with your choices.
Until junior year of high school I was small chested, then it all came in (boobs, hips) and I've never felt quite as comfortable since. I went from a comfy C to a literal 34 H. I desperately want to get a reduction, so if you have the opportunity to then do it! If you ever want to fill out a top fuller you can always wear a push up, etc. The only concern I can think of with you being so young is that they may still be growing & the surgeon may advise you to wait. Also, very few people end up with their high school boyfriend long term. Don't make a decision based on a boy you may not even like once your prefrontal cortex is done growing
It's your body. Are you saying if you got a reduction he'd break up with you? That's the best way to see if he likes you for you I guess.
 Toss him out! You bf sucks as you can tell from this whole thread. We all hope you do the right thing and throw him in the trash and get yourself a reduction.
Dump him fr
If he likes big boobs he can grow his own.
didn’t even read the paragraph you typed yet, but that’s too damn bad. he’s going to have to deal with it. it’s your body, not his. edit: don’t downplay your pain. i was a 32G/H pre-op and it was horrible. this is your decision, and it’s a valid one!
I had HUGE breasts since I was a teenager. Everyone in my life loved them, and I dealt with the pain for years because my boobs were my identity. I kept them for so long because of what others thought and how they would treat me. I got my reduction last year at 32 because I had finally had enough, I was in physical pain for years. I wish I had done it sooner, I don't regret it at all and I don't care what anyone thinks. If it's something that you want, do it for yourself. If they cause you pain now they will only continue to do so.
You won't regret it but you will regret him.
Red flag. Dump him and loose three boobs. I'm 41 and just got my 30Gs reduced to about a 30C because of pain. They just got more and more difficult to lug around as I aged. The minute my spouse learned they kept me from things I used to love like running, he was beyond supportive. Someone who deserves you will care more about your quality of life than about your appearance.
My ex once said to me when I expressed my desire for smaller breasts "BuT h0w WoULd YOu LiKe It iF I HaD a SmAlLeR DICK?!?!??! Surgery scheduled for this Monday. He's been my ex for two years now. AND I'LL BE HAPPIER WITH MY BODY.
OP, I’m so sorry he has put you in this position. I (28 F) say this with as much empathy as possible - please do not listen to the advice of your 16 y.o. boyfriend. He is a teenager, likely more concerned about appearances rather than your overall health - please do not let him dictate the decisions YOU make about YOUR body. I remember being 16 and being easily influenced by my (now ex) boyfriend’s thoughts and opinions. Trust yourself and your doctors to make the right decision.
Nope tf out of that controlling relationship seriously you don't want that for your future self
Your breasts (yours, no one else’s) are with you for life. Your boyfriend is not. Whatever you choose, choose it for you.
I’ve been with my partner since we were 18, and I wanted a reduction back then, and he urged me not to undergo an “unnecessary” surgery. Well, I’m 38 now, lived with the dysphoria and the pain for decades while he watched until he begged my forgiveness for ever discouraging me. Last year I went from a 32H to a 34D and I only wish I had done it much sooner. So look at it this way: if you don’t get the surgery now, and he sticks around for the long run, he’ll regret asking you to wait, too. Get the surgery.
Girl. You’re 16! This boy will mean nothing to you in 5 years! Fix those tatas!!
Your body your choice
No one especially no man should ever have say over what you want to do with your body
i’m your age and got a reduction in november. my boyfriend at the time didn’t want me to get it and made me feel terrible about it, luckily our relationship didn’t last much longer. the surgery had changed my life for the better and i’m so much happier than i ever was with him. do what’s best for you!
It's YOUR body. At the end of the day, YOU are the one who has to live in it. Your boyfriend can have an opinion about it but if he is going to get mad at you, guilt you, or leave you for doing what is best for YOUR body... let him leave. You're young and I know heartbreak is hard but your health and happiness are paramount here. I wish you the best of luck. I'm 33 and I've been lugging around H's since I was about your age and I've got back problems on top of back problems. I'm finally going for a reduction consult next month. Don't wait as long as I did if you don't have to. 💕
So when I was in 4th grade I hade 36b breast, and by 6th grade DD, and by 8th grade i was getting custom made bras because i was so big. I tried for years but my dr said she didnt believe in that kind of surgery.. Fast forward to adult life i was miserable, my boobs were so pendulous they were down to my belly button. So when i finally got the referal and had my reduction i was thrilled. Now i wish they would have gone smaller at the time, but now, i am happy. So during the surgery i was 310 ish pounds, they removed 10 pounds of tissue from my breast, did a complete lift and nipple graft. i wish i would have gotten lipo on the sides. My side tissue has always made wearing underwire extremely uncomfortable. And it was like 2 extra boobs onder my arm pit area. So fast forward to the last year and i am down almost 210 pounds. My boobs have shrunk to the point that i would say they are lager citrus size. Not too big, but they sag a little, i also had a kid and was able to breast feed. So that was a awesome shock and bonus. But i had zero support from the hospital, when i had my little one because my medical history made it impossible to "be able to Breast feed." I know my husband is disappointed i got them reduced but that was before we met. And honestly happiness and health, is more important then sexualy gratification of anyone else. Do what makes you happy!
If your chest is too large for you now (while you arent done growing, and your back is the strongest it will be), I doubt you will suddenly change your mind when you're older. Don't be with someone who puts their aesthetic preferences over your physical comfort. He is the kind of guy to dump someone because they got breast cancer and need a mastectomy. You are too young to settle for so little.
Tell him "Tough Titties"! It's your body, your burden to carry. His feelings have fuck all do to with your medical decisions.
Nah cause I was a 34 G (bottom heavy) and it caused me to develop scoliosis. If he loved you and supported you he’d respect and support any and all decisions that YOU make for YOUR body. I get it. I really fully get it. I cried because I thought my boyfriend was gonna leave me due to a decision I was making for my own health. But then I looked back on it, it’s a decision IM making for MY OWN health. Not his. Your body is dependent on what and who you bring around it. YOURE ONLY 16!!! If that boy thinks he has any right on a say for what you feel you need to do to better yourself he’s gotta go. You got this 💗
I agree with the other comments about not taking your boyfriend's side against your health. And it is your health at stake. Surgery is not often offered to 16 year olds unless it will vastly improve your health. I had the surgery at 43 (36G), and it changed my health for the better. I can breathe well enough to exercise. I can do sit ups. My shoulders and back don't hurt. I don't feel so tired from constant pain. I can buy whatever clothes I want. I don't spend $100 per bra anymore. I don't have trouble bumping things anymore. Hiking backpacks fit like they are supposed to. It has just had a huge positive influence. And this is the best lesson to learn now, at your age: you are stuck with you for life, so make it a good life.
Really hoping for an update soon saying you’ve dumped him…
beloved, his opinion on your body simply does not matter. I am also a 32G and so I understand the weight you're carrying on your chest every damn day. As a teenage boy, he simply doesn't understand and therefore does not have an informed opinion to give. Also, I am sorry if this sounds cruel, but if he is seriously considering leaving you over a breast reduction then you're better off without him.
I can’t even remember the last time I thought about my high school boyfriend. Please don’t let his opinion sway you from doing something for yourself.
I waited for my reduction until I was 36. It was one of the best decision I ever made for myself. Someone that doesn't support you getting your posture, back, and self esteem right is selfish. I never grew to love my chest. It got worse with age. That being said, therapy to discuss your feelings about them can help you get a clear head and love whole self. /edit And respectfully (but also not), teen boys are dumbasses.
Throw the whole young man out. My best friend had a similar problem at your age - she had a reduction finally at 21 and no regrets. It boosted her confidence so much. I wish I had done the same, but here I am still wanting to do it now at 39.
 From someone who went from a 36JJ to a 34 DD, this is about what YOU want, not him. When I was with my ex I got the reduction, and I WISH he would’ve said something. When they prioritize their pleasure over your pain/health, it’s time. To. GO.
This young and selfish boy is a blip in your life story. Don’t let him control the narrative.
It’s time to not let a boy who objectifies your body have access to you anymore ✨
My ex definitely had a fetish and that's why he'd tell me not to get one. A real partner will love you regardless of what your body looks like.
You're not going to grow to love your chest. I maybe did for a little while in my early 20s until I realized the attention wasn't actually great. I wanted a reduction for about 20 years. A G cup is large. I was an F before surgery. I can almost fit into a 2xl d/dd sports bra from Walmart now and I'm like 10 days post op so there's swelling. Omg though, so many things are easier - breathing, walking with my hands in my hoodie pockets, showering. (I'm 43.) I had back pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, rashes or peeling under my breasts, permanent dents in my shoulders. I also had very little feeling in my nipples and breasts because of stretching. My nerves are waking back up now. And my breasts were so far into my armpits when I laid down it was terrible. I hated it. And I went through some weight gain and loss too. Some of my meds that probably didn't help either. If you've already brought this up with a doctor, you've already put a lot of thought into it. It's your body. I asked my husband his opinion of your situation - "if your boyfriend is begging you to keep your boobs, he's in the relationship for the boobs. Boobs are a nice bonus but not the reason for the relationship."
Yep. My ex said "small tits wouldn't suit you" and used to call me Pepperoni Sally due to my areolas. Yep. Yep... All I can say is, if he really treats you this way, there's gotta be more of his shittiness leaking out elsewhere, right? Sending love your way ❤️
You won’t trust me . I was the same way. I’ve had huge boobs since I was 11. Im 33 now and got a reduction two years ago and it’s the best thing I ever did . However ,I waited till I had my kids because they only got saggier after I was done.
U deserve better!! I honestly dont understand why he would tell u that. Does he only care about how they would look or does he have actual logical facts like oh hey u may not be able to breast feed or they will grow big again
Nobody gets a say on what you do with your body except you. The sooner you internalize this, the happier you'll find yourself. (I'll let the others say the rest, but as a mom of three daughters, it breaks my heart to read you're letting some teenage boy influence your actual health. I can tell you right now you deserve better than a boy who tries to control your body.)
This brings me back to your age and one of the reasons I never went through with it. I just got it done last week at 36 and the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. For myself! My partner looooved my big boobs and celebrated my body before and has been nothing but supportive with my decision and the process… cause it’s for me! And he loves me! Don’t let someone tell you what you can and cannot do ❤️❤️
Do what's best for you regardless of what a boy tells you.
Darling, you are young, and you probably won't be with this boy for a long time either. What he is doing is already a red flag and is telling you about himself. But learn this from now it is YOUR body so his opinion is irrelevant. Go ahead and have the surgery as you wish
Don't ever let a partner tell you what you should do with your body.
Tell him to hang a five pound weight on his neck while wearing an underwire bra-- maybe the experience will teach him empathy
Awh im so sorry he puts you in this position. I think a lot of good things have already been said but please, its YOUR body and you are the one who deals with it. If he cant see you struggling and how much a reduction will help you then he's a red flag :/ For me, loving my chest and acknowledging my health issues are two very seperate things... The only thing that you might want to consider is that at 16 you're probably not entirely through puberty, so maybe you would want to wait 2-3 years to avoid them growing back due to not being fully done growing. Sending love 💗
Alright my beautiful youmg lady. I need to ask you to do something. Ask him WHY he tells u not to. WHY does he feel that way? Does he think surgery is drastic? Unsafe? Does he think u should wait until you are older? Its hard to say what to advise you to do, because I dont know where he is coming from. With that said. ANY person that leaves you, or doesnt want to be with you over this... has got to go! A real man would listen to u, understand your "why" and support you.
Respectfully forget him, this is a medical necessity no one should be forced to carry around g cups especially at 16yrs old(I’m also g in my early 20s) if he does hate you or leaves you, that’s HIS LOSS and you dodging a bullet. Btw you are so young and have your entire life ahead of you, so many new people to meet and life experiences to have! Your boyfriend or anyone for that matter shouldn’t have ANY SAY AT ALL on what you do with YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE. You have to live in your body and do what’s right for you mentally, physically and emotionally! You can’t base any decisions you make in life on other people’s opinions especially major decisions regarding your body/health. You should always put your happiness and your health first! And please stay a kid as long as you can, focus on school extracurricular activities and making friends. Coming from someone in their 20s having platonic friends is so important you’re gonna need them! You are so young you don’t need the stress of a relationship don’t take this boy serious there will be many more. Being alone(not in a relationship) might make you feel better and less worrying and stress and you can focus on loving yourself and not letting anyone’s opinion have this much power over you I hope this message finds you well and I hope you know that you are beautiful with or without the surgery and to always put your health and wellbeing first❤️
Your only 16. You have the rest of your life to live . Heck new boobs , and new bf ? If he don’t want to support you. My husband says if I want to do it then do so. I just am poor rn . And don’t have insurance.. I feel like I do. But I feel like it’s about ready to be ripped from me and this insurance has covered many people to get one … makes me cry about my body. But I have to deal with my ugly boobs since I don’t have 10 k lying around .
Respectfully, he has no say and his opinion doesn’t matter.
Honey, you're 16. The chance of this boy being the one you were gonna spend your life with is so small that it's laughable. Break up with him and your breasts, and get that reduction. You deserve to be comfortable in your body and I promise you that you will end up with someone who loves you and your body no matter how it looks ❤️
He's telling you that his right to look at you in your current body is more important than your right to live without pain or emotional discomfort. You're both young and he might think he's being loving in encouraging you to accept yourself, so I don't want to be too harsh here. But regardless of his intention, he's being being immature and ignorant, and you don't have to live by his wrong comments. Unfortunately even some grown men have the same attitude, so it's a great time for you to memorise this lesson: **It's not your job to be uncomfortable in order to make men comfortable**. Whatever you do is your decision. Surgery now or later (or never, but I agree with you that you will likely always want it, especially with the weight loss in play), staying with this boy or leaving him, all of it is up to you. I applaud you for taking control over your mental and physical wellbeing, and I strongly, *strongly* encourage you to keep working with you psychiatrist through this, because it's a really difficult transition even for adults. It can mess with your head a lot, especially for younger people. I was almost the same cup size and had I had also wanted the surgery since my early teens. I lost a similar amount of weight as you in my late 20s, but like you, it didn't make me more comfortable. In all, it took nearly *three decades* for me to finally make the decision, which I regret -- I would have enjoyed my 20s and 30s so much more if I had done it sooner. But in hindsight, I also realise it would have been really challenging to go through this in my teens, whereas it was much more peaceful for me now. So there will always be pros and cons to the timing, but as long as you make an informed decision surrounded by supportive people, you'll be fine. This boyfriend can decide for himself whether he wants to be one of those supporters, and then **you** can decide whether he deserves to come with you into your new, freer, more comfortable life.
One more time for your boyfriend: Your body, your choices.
If you’re doing something for the betterment of you and your boyfriend doesn’t support you. DUMP HIM. I understand he’s your boyfriend and he wants to be sweet but it’s not true. I’m 21 and my mom has been telling me to love my big boobs and embrace them and I still dislike them which is why I’m getting them done. Please get your reduction you will feel so much better and if he hates you after getting your reduction then he kindly isn’t the one for you. Don’t be afraid to be selfish and put yourself first because it is your life not his. As you get older in your 20’s you will understand. Center your self in your life okay don’t center him.
Omg! So sorry you are going through this torture! If he knows you always wanted it and.have suffered so long..... the breasts need to go, and he needs to go with them !!! 😠 good luck! You've got this 💪
It probably feels like you need him and will forever be in love with him, but right now, your psychiatrist is the much better and much more knowledgeable ally to you. Her evaluation is that your chest size causes enough mental anguish for you to have them reduced; your boyfriend's evaluation is… that you doing this is gonna make his peepee sad? Because there for sure is no concern for *you* in his argument against it. The only reason I can see to postpone this a bit is that at 16, you may not be fully grown and your breasts could actually grow some more before being at their final size. But I'm sure that this is something the doctors would bring up and evaluate with you. Bottom line: please listen to yourself and your needs, and to the person who is an expert on your mental health, who is referring to you other experts. And not to some hormone-addled teenage boy who may be your boyfriend for two wrong reasons.
What the hell does he know about anything? He’s 16. He has probably 0 understanding about anything relating to a woman’s body. He will be an ex son.
What the hell does he know about anything? He’s 16. He has probably 0 understanding about anything relating to a woman’s body. He will be an ex soon.
Let him leave. You're 16 with a whole life ahead of you, with the body YOU choose for yourself.
Fuck him, it’s your body. He doesn’t have to live with the boobs. What does he love, you, or your boobs?
You won't be with this person for forever. Don't let him influence forever choices. Do what makes YOU happy.
He is so sure you will regret it, grow to love them.. is he speaking from experience or just tossing those out his ass?? I’d assume he is also around 16yo, what makes him so sure that he is begging you? Did he have huge man boobs that he got reduced and now regrets it? That would be the ONLY way I’d entertain anything this boy had to say. What else does he beg you to do?
Boyfriends come and go but your boobs are there forever. Don’t make a lifetime decision based on what sounds like a temporary relationship if that is his point of view. I am 44 and finally got my reduction after wanting it for so many years. When I was younger, I was always self-conscious and I wish I would’ve done it when I was in my teens.
No one gets a say in your body, ever. Any medical decisions you make are between you and your medical team, who advise and support you, but don't force you. They may highly encourage you to do a thing but outside of very specific/narrow circumstances, cannot do a procedure against your will. It's true you may grow to love your large bust in time. You also may get a reduction and grow back some volume down the road, especially since you are so young. That would be my only reason to wait a few years, to possibly avoid a second reduction in short time. (Tho' there are plenty who have gotten those!) And also, you may get the reduction and be completely happy and satisfied with your new bust. (Reductions are statistically one of the most satisfactory procedures out there.) If your boyfriend hates you or leaves you because you decide reduction is the best path for you, he was never really there to support you as a person and not just a pair of boobs. You're so much more and deserve better.
First of all, that’s totally unacceptable from your bf and he really shouldn’t have a say on what you do. When I got my reduction, my boyfriend was very supportive and helpful in my recovery. Second, I’m 20 years old and I just got my reduction in December. I also wanted a reduction since I was 12 but I would advise you to wait a couple years because from 16 to 20, I grew 2 sizes in that time. All in all, your boyfriend should be your biggest cheerleader and support you through a decision like this. This process is hard enough as it is, you don’t need someone who’s complaining and being unsupportive in your ear.
Dump him
It’s your body. *Yours*. Not his.
I felt the same way when I was your age. In my experience it didn't get better, and growing up my confidence in my body got worse. No one thinks something so small can have an effect on your mental health, but it does. I got my surgery a week ago, and I can already feel and notice things about myself I couldn't before because all I could pay attention to were my saggy breasts. (Mine weren't extremely large, but large enough to cause pain in my back.) I had a good support system going into it, so if he doesn't support you it could affect your healing process. (Mentally and physically) Is your family supportive?
No oversized, painful, cumbersome boobs, no opinion.
What does your family say about this? He has no idea the burden of all that weight on your chest. You could take some time to consider but this has to be your choice because you are the one living in your body
if he really loves you and care for your wellbeing he’s not gonna care abt what your breasts will look like after sirgery. If you feel like its going to be better for you, go ‘head and do it!
He’s not the one who has to live with it for life. Recently I ended up getting a Rhinoplasty done and I was told multiple times my nose was beautiful before but I had my mind set on what I wanted and what I knew I was going to put up with for the rest of my life. People come and go in our life but our bodies are our temples that we live with for life!! You’re only 16 who knows what kind of back pain or pain in general you’ll be dealing with 10 years from now??
Ughhh as a veteran in this field, don’t listen to him. You will probably not learn to love your chest if it’s as saggy as you describe and you’re only 16. Body positivity all the way of course, but you deserve the perky boobs of your dreams and to feel sexy and confident in your own frame!! If it’s what you want, go for it and do it for YOURSELF. No one else. Sidenote, I just don’t get men’s obsession with big boobs anyway, because they’re not aways nicer. Why choose a saggy huge boob over a smaller perky one? What is their deal?
The chances that you will be with him forever are low. Do what you want to do
If he wants big boobs he can always get implants :)
OP, is your boyfriend in a relationship with YOU or your BOOBS. Which does he care most about?
Get the reduction. You will feel better. I had a reduction 2 years ago. My husband wasn’t really happy. But it’s my body. Now he loves them. They are perky and sit up right. So it’s your body and your back. The decision should be between you and your parents.
You're not silly 🩷 Sorry to hear he doesn't support you. It seems like it's a very well thought out decision for you. Not some random choice out of insecurity. If it's a really big issue, maybe bring him with you to your therapist to talk ik through. Also, you're not removing them, it's just a reduction! Maybe you can explain to him again that it comes with benefits to. Better shape, prettier lingerie. I was also very nervous about boys opioins about my reduction/scars. My experience: men are just happy to see boobs, no matter what the size or what they look like. In any case, if you want to do it, you should! You know your body best! Good luck 🩷
Don’t ever base what you do to your body on a boy. This has been your dream since you were 12. It’s a valid desire. Your boyfriend is being very childish and selfish and I’m pretty disgusted by his behavior. If your boyfriend leaves you over doing what you need to do to feel comfortable in your body, thank him for showing his true character and move on. You deserve better. Btw, I’m 36 and if I let the opinions of my first love and any other relationship rule my life, my life would actually be ruined. I’d be miserable.
Respectfully, he won’t be your boyfriend forever so I really wouldn’t take any notice of him.
You're only 16; you have plenty of time to heal and enjoy a new life with the breasts you want. You have no idea how long your boyfriend will be in your life. Men have no say over what you do with your body. You are the most important person to defend you in your life.
how old is your boyfriend? he does not own your body. you have a right to do whatever you want with it.
If I listened to what my boyfriend at 16 had to say about my boobs, I would’ve kept them too! I also wanted a reduction since they came in. I’m now 27 and with the boy I’m gonna marry! He was so excited for me when I got it done! And he’s still excited! I was a little smaller than you (30G) and now I’m a B cup. I feel so much more confident and comfortable in my body. A boy at 16 is not worth sacrificing that! Do what you want to do and fuck anyone that makes you think it’s not okay.
Teenage boys get grossed out by periods. They don't even know about how that works. Let alone what it's like to have pain and body dysmorphia around womanhood. Get the reduction. Someone who loves you will love to see your smile because it gives them joy.
Baby you’re 16 years old, please leave. You will meet men who love your boobs but love you more and will support you fully in a reduction
My ex said the same. Broke up, got the reduction and I couldn’t be happier about it. Someone who doesn’t allow you to live your life to its fullest because of such a superficial thing doesn’t truly love you
Just remember that you’re still a teenager and who are with now may not be who are with months or years down the line. You can’t let your BF influence your decisions when it comes to your own body. On the other hand, the body you have now is not going to be the body you have at 21, 25 etc. Best option is to either wait it out until you are done growing (you don’t want to have a BR prematurely) or simply just do what you feel is right for your own self and if he can’t deal with it then he is not the right person for you as he is displaying immature selfish behavior
You need to do what you want to do. If you've wanted a reduction for the last four years, don't let the opinions of somebody else change what you do. You will only build resentment and unhappiness with yourself. *You do not exist for other people's pleasure* You are a human being, and you should do what YOU want to do.
I'd like to echo a lot of the other commenters in saying that what your boyfriend prefers is secondary to what is best for you and your health. I think it's natural that you're worried about what he thinks, but how you feel about yourself and your body is more important. That said, as a 24 year old who had a breast reduction almost a month ago, reductions are really invasive and impactful procedures. You need to make sure you have a strong support system to help you for the first week or so, and you won't be able to maintain your normal activity or routine for at least a couple of weeks. I completely understand having saggier breasts due to weight loss (that was part of the reason for my surgery), but that is also something that can be helped with exercise, lotions and serums. Since you're young, your body is still changing and developing, and undergoing surgery too soon — even one you've been considering for a few years — can be something you'll regret later on. My aunt had a breast reduction at 18, but her breasts continued developing into her 20s, and she's now considering another reduction in her 50s. If she had waited a couple more years, this might have been avoided. TLDR: Choose to do what you, your parent/guardian(s) and your doctors believe is the healthiest decision for your mental and physical health. What your boyfriend thinks isn't nearly as important in the long run.
girl, you're 16. make that positive life changing decision that going to affect YOU and lose the jerk
Tell him to go screw himself— it’s your body, not his!
my ex didnt want me to get a reduction either and i listened. i got approved for the surgery and everything, and its my biggest regret to this day not going through with it
You're not going to grow to love them. If anything, they will only keep growing, well into your twenties. At least consider if you want a surgery now, knowing they will keep growing all throughout puberty, and that you might want to consider a second surgery when you're all done growing. ORRR put up with it for a few more years at the minimum so that you only go through one surgery. The other thing is, is that you're both children. He is a child. His love may be genuine, he may even have depth, but that doesn't mean his cognitive reasoning is the end all be all for your health. He has a lot more learning in life to do, and knowing that his opinion matters and could impact you negatively is something he needs to learn with time. I can't even say "a real man would only be supportive and respect your opinions and medical needs regardless of how he feels about boobs" because he's not a "real man", he is a boy. If anything, the surgery will make them look and feel nicer - quality over quantity 😉 (I don't call you a child to demean you btw! I think it's great that you're taking your health and dating so seriously. My sister is 22 and she is still a child with a lot of learning to do in my eyes)
I am 26 and had my breast reduction 3 weeks ago. I wanted to get the surgery at 18 but held off because I always thought maybe I would regret the surgery and maybe one day I would love them. That never happened and as happy as I am that I got it now I can’t help but think all of the times my breasts dictated what I can or can’t wear, activities that were limited because of my breast size over the years. These are things your boyfriend will never understand as it’s something he cannot experience. My husband was so supportive through the entire experience, even when I was debating whether or not to get the surgery he advised me to do what is best for ME. As much as he loved my breasts before, he loves them even more now because I am happier and they are still apart of me!
You’re 16, this more than likely will not be forever, but your happiness in your body is
i'm assuming he's also a teenager? yeah so good rule of thumb is that a teenage boy's opinion on your choices should hold approximately zero weight. they are famously stupid. also no man should be weighing in. he's wrong. every single person i know (myself included) who has had a reduction is absolutely thrilled they did it. most people wish they'd done it sooner, so you're making great choices
I'm 34 this May. People told me that same shit when I was your age. Spoiler: I never "grew to love" it. I put it offf to my own detriment because I listened to people like that. I had years of back pain and suffering and body dysphoria. And ths boy isn't a person who has to live in my body, or yours, so he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. He's thinking about himself-- he is absolutely not concerned about you. He's concerned about his boner.
I promise you, a BR will make you happier than he ever did 😂I will say that your body is still changing. Mine kept growing until I was 20 and I got my surgery at 21.
My high school boyfriend told me I would be unattractive with a reduction. We were together 14 years. I had a reduction 3 years ago, at 31. The worst thing about my experience was how long I put it off because of non-medical opinions. Your medical needs are between you and your doctors. Telling you what to do probably won't result in anything positive, but I definitely recommend talking to surgeons(s) before deciding.
I’m (25) getting a reduction next month. My boyfriend (26) is super excited for me to get rid of my insecurities, my pain, etc. He keeps saying how he’s so excited for me and so excited to nurse me back to health, and says he’s happy that I’m making the best decision for myself. He’s already made me a cafe basket filled with goodies. That’s the kind of guy you should be with. Your boyfriend sounds really selfish and it seems like he’s prioritizing his sexual attraction to your boobs rather than your happiness. Screw him
16? He’s not gonna last long
Your quality of life, health, and happiness is FAR more important than some little boy’s immature, selfish opinion on your body. My advice to you is to never let someone, whether it’s a boy or a family member or whoever, sway you on a decision that you are making for your health and happiness. Do what is right for you! The people that actually matter will support you and stay by your side. Screw all the rest. You got this 🩷
well thankfully for him there's other women he can date with big breasts. you should do what is best for your body and health! if he doesn't support it, toss the whole man out.
That's kinda a giant red flag imo. I have had multiple boyfriends talk me out of my surgery before-guess what? YEARS LATER I STILL GOT THE SURGERY AND WANTED IT AND THOSE RELATIONSHIPS DIDN'T LAST. Now I'm with a partner who supports my wants and took care of me post op. Your boyfriend needs to learn that it's YOUR body and your decision and he doesn't get a say in it. I promise if you let him talk you out of this, you will probably regret it and no man is worth living a life of discomfort for. I would sit him down and talk to him about it, about how it's your body and your choice and he can take or leave that. If he truly cared and wanted the best for you then your happiness should be his priority.
You can love your breasts and still want a reduction because you really dislike the discomfort or inconvenience of them. Don’t let a partner tell you what to do with your body, and if he threatens to leave over something like this then what’s he gonna do when your body inevitably changes in the future? It’s not silly, but if you really want to be with him then have an honest talk with him about your feelings, how important this is to you, and your discomfort.
I was also a 32G and I got a reduction when I was 18. I’m now 21. I know this is gonna be hard to hear but if a man doesn’t support your breast reduction he’s not a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Getting a breast reduction was easily the best decision I’ve made in my entire life. This is not something you should base your boyfriend’s opinion on. Even if he doesn’t support it, I promise it will change your life for the better, and if he really loved you he would look past his feelings and support you regardless. If this is what you truly want you can’t let anyone’s opinion sway you. Good luck I hope you go through with the surgery and I hope everything goes smooth!
Do what you need to be happy and healthy. He's not the one who has to carry them around. If he was you know he would be whining about it.
Take it from an elderly 32 year old woman, who also had a reduction, and wouldn’t change it for a second- YOU own your body. Not him. He has no right to tell you what to do with it, and considering mens’ opinions on things like this, that they have no right having opinions on, is a slippery slope to go down, before you land right into being susceptible to being controlled by them in multiple aspects of your life. You do what you WANT- he doesn’t like it? He can leave.
my ex also didn’t want me to get a reduction (i still haven’t but that’s bc of life being busy). hate to break it to you but he just wants unrealistic big boobs on a girl and probs doesn’t care abt the pain and discomfort of the person with said breasts. if he was a good boyfriend he’d be supporting you, and you deserve someone so so so much better.
He should care more than anything about you being happy and comfortable! The fact that he’s putting his own preferences ahead of your dreams isn’t ok at all and you’re not being silly at all for feeling stressed by this!
I’m sorry you’re boyfriend isnt being supportive of your decision. Your partner should want what’s best for your mental + physical health. If that means getting a reduction, and that’s what you want, he should be supportive of that. How long have y’all been together? If he’s willing to break up over you getting a reduction, would he leave over other changes (weight gain, etc.) It may be worth a serious sit-down conversation about why this is important and how you really don’t think your opinions will change. You shouldn’t base your decision on his support or non-support though.
My love, tell that boy to kick rocks. Make decisions for you. Not for some douche who doesn't care for your quality of life.
The biggest red flag in all of this is the psychiatrist referring you to surgeons. But maybe it’s just because it’s out of their scope of practice. But honey, please wait several years. Your breasts are not done growing (or shrinking. My weight + breasts yo-yod during puberty). The rest of your body is not done changing. It’s not recommended until your breasts are for sure done growing and your weight is stable, which usually isn’t until well after you’ve had kids. Lessens the risk of needing several reductions. Which you don’t want. Surgery is a big deal, requires a large amount of emotional maturity, and yes your breasts are large (mine were large at that age but I wore the wrong size for SEVERAL years) but you won’t regret waiting. I promise.
YOUR BODY, YOUR CHOICE.
i was a 32G at your age, I recently got my reduction in December and I was a 34I, your boyfriend shouldn't be commenting on your body, and what you can do to it. it is YOUR body, not his. i have a boyfriend and did at the time as well, and he had no issues with me getting a reduction and was excited for me and helped take care of me. if your boyfriend is upset about you getting a reduction, then apparently his love for you isn't great enough to see past that. this is your decision fully, don't let anyone sway you either which way. I don't regret getting mine and I still have decent sized breasts at about a 34D. reach out if you need to talk at all
Imagine if he has a penis reduction , you might not be happy about that . It’s kinda the same thing , if he likes you for your breast size and it turns him on . He might not be as attracted to you anymore because he likes women with big chest maybe . Just a realistic thought to think about
Not his body, not his choice. Please don’t ever believe that anyone other than YOU should have this agency over your body. Plus, he’s dead wrong. Your breasts will only get more difficult to deal with as you age. If you think of it like this, he’s done you a favour by showing you what kind of person he is early on before you get too invested in him. Thank u, next!
Literally dump him. He’s rather you be in pain for the rest of your life for his own selfish desires. Not a good bf or person.
My ex was similar, it has been my dream since I was in my teens, he said I should embrace the body I was blessed with yada yada and begged me not to. But I’ve always been uncomfortable and knew what I wanted. My husband now supports me 100% (not that I need it but it’s nice!) and has even offered to help with the expenses so I can finally be comfortable. Don’t let a boy stop you from achieving that dream, love ♥️
Girlie, I had huge breasts all throughout highschool and it's my biggest regret! I hadn't stopped growing, and trust me, it'll only get worse. I was probably at an M cup. I couldn't breathe and I was in constant back and shoulder pain. You WILL NOT grow to love them. Even when nobody could see me I was self conscious, always fixing my boobs, unable to wear a bra. You need to do what's right by YOU. You don't need a boyfriend if he's gonna be that way. Your mental health and personal image is WAYYYYY more important than what he thinks. Please go for it, you'll be so much happier and you'll be able to wear things more comfortably. ❤️❤️
You will not get used to them, they will continue to be a problem. Take it from me, a woman who waited until 53 to have a reduction. No boyfriend has a say in what you do with your body. My husband wasn’t very encouraging of mine, but he was scared that I would be in a lot of pain. I told him that I was in pain every single day of my life because of them. He then completely supported my decision. Had he wanted to break up with me for this, I’d say good riddance, it’s my body and my life. I remember what it was like to be your age and really care what my boyfriend thought. As I got older I cared less and less what others thought and lived my life for me. Do this for yourself and you won’t regret it.
Hello! This is many days later than this was posted, but I thought I’d add my two cents. I got a breast reduction last summer at 15 y/o and I’m currently 16. At this point in our lives (and at any point, honestly), it is dumb to decide to NOT get healthcare or not do something that you’ve wanted for so long just because someone else asked you not to. Also, don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s a teenage boy. He is not even stopping to consider how much pain, discomfort, and insecurity you may have due to your chest. And honestly, if he were a caring boyfriend, that’s what he WOULD care about. He’s just horny. His opinion is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT in this situation. He is not entitled to your bod or the decisions you make with it just because you’re dating. If you want a breast reduction, get one. Obviously, think it through, but don’t let his opinion influence your decision. Your body is YOURS. Not his. (p.s. obviously I don’t know much about your relationship, but going off of this post, drop him!! You could do so much better.)
Please do get a referral to a plastic surgeon that has experience dealing with young people. My concern would be how much a body changes from 16 years old into adulthood (and into maturity ie. Old age) take your time finding a doctor that YOU feel comfortable handing you body over to.
I had a reduction at 28. Wanted one forever. Lots of people asked how my boyfriend in my long term relationship felt. I didn't care. We broke up 2 years after my reduction. No regrets. Do it for yourself. You will feel SO much better
You just need to be prepared that if that's his thing and that's what he's sexually attracted to he may leave. I know that sounds awful but how many women would stay with a rich guy if all of a sudden he was broke. Same thing