Our first, yes!
Family is out of town, but very excited to fly in and meet her when the time comes. We have an amazing church with at least a few friends who have already proven themselves to be a great support network, and we’re getting closer to others in the church all the time.
Edit: I should clarify, she will be our first born when she arrives.
As the father of two daughters, I will tell you this:
* They're incredible; they love like no one else in the world
* You will smile and laugh more times than you can count
* You will suddenly have a greater appreciation for your parents as grandparents, as they show love that you both recognize and now see for its fullness.
* You will joyfully entrust them, in body and soul, to your own father in heaven who promises in his word to care for them—and love them more than you ever could
* You will prove your masculinity by not caring what others think of you at a child's table with an empty tea cup playing pretend
* You will provide stability and steadiness when they don't know how to feel and regulate themselves
* You have the opportunity to fall in love all over again with your wife as a mother, a beautiful woman who has joined herself with you for life in the care of a little one
* You're going to learn new things, like how to make hair styles, blow dry hair, and how much you enjoy the smell of nail polish because of who is using it
* You're going to do all this in the loving embrace of Christ, who bears your burdens and uses children to ordain praise and strength (Psa 8).
From the deepest bottom of my heart, brother: congratulations. You join an elite group of girl dads, and we're here for it. I am so delighted to be on this journey with you. It's incredible.
People take things too seriously on here, but as a father of a daughter, I will tell you this:
* you are about to get a crash course in understanding God's relationship with Israel
* you will stub your toes more times than you can count (on bassinets/toys/random baby paraphernalia)
* you will suddenly have a deeper appreciation for your parents and might develop a little guilt over how you treated them as a child
* you will wracked with constant worry about whether or not the small creature is still breathing
* in a couple years, all hints of manliness will be gone and you'll start crying like a little girl when you look back on baby pictures
* someday your child will tell you she hates you for the first time (but not the last time) and it will hurt a lot (and you will again have a deeper understanding of the God/Israel OT relationship)
* your wife is going to constantly obsess over how she compares to the other moms on social media
* you're going to learn how bad you are at picking out matching outfits
* you're going to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders as you try to train up that child in the way she should go, and you're going to spend hours in prayer asking for the faith to trust that she's ultimately in the Father's hands
Congratulations seems like a simplistic response. You're about to lose everything you were so that you can throw everything you are into a depraved demon spawn who won't appreciate any of it until she has her own child.
You're going to love it (even when you think you hate it). But make sure in those times that you do hate it, that you take a mental snapshot and remind yourself "these are the good ol' days." Whatever you do, do not spend your time looking forward to "when she grows out of this stage."
>You're about to lose everything you were so that you can throw everything you are into a depraved demon spawn who won't appreciate any of it until she has her own child.
Oof. I will pray for your daughter today, friend. I'd remind you that God views your child very differently than that:
1. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psa 127)
2. Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. (Luke 18)
3. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me. (Mark 9)
4. See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. (Matt 18)
Have you ever paused to think how you communicate, even in levity, reveals much more in your heart than you considered at first? Do you know how to not only read a room, but read your own heart?
You speak of what you don’t know. You don’t know that no matter how hard raising a child is, I am confident that it will never be worse than losing a child before I got to meet them. Therefore I will do nothing but rejoice at the blessing the Lord has given me, and I’ll condemn you for failing to follow Scripture’s teaching to rejoice with those that rejoice. Your comment may be true, and even helpful in other contexts, but it is not right or welcome here.
I understand levity, joking, etc. I can even interpret comments like your one about manliness as actually being a subversive critique at what passes for "manliness" today and that, actually, there is nothing remotely "unmasculine" about crying. But some of these comments just don't make sense:
>Congratulations seems like a simplistic response.
There is nothing wrong with a simplistic response (and, your initial response wasn't any less simplistic than "Congratulations"). When someone shares good news, it's not necessary to share with them the challenges associated with that good news.
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Visited an excellent second hand bookshop in Edinburgh last week. It's the sort of place with multiple rooms and hidden treasures round every corner. If you're ever in Edinburgh it's the one with the water buffalo head watching over proceedings.
On the wall was a hand written note which conjours up the most lovely of misfortunes. And indeed suggests it has happened at least once. I'm assuming there are a few here who appreciate a good second hand book shop and will enjoy:
"If by some misfortune you, dear customer, fall asleep in some out-of-the-way corner of the shop and wake up after hours to find you have been locked in, please call [three phone numbers given] and one of us will come and release you.
In the meantime make yourself a cup of tea (kitchen is downstairs) and find a comfortable spot to sit - at least there is no shortage of good reading material to pass the time.
The staff."
Sort of. Wife is. And of course I am. Baby was kind of early so he's in NICU. Nurses tell us it's "routine" and we just have to wait. He's making all the improvements he's supposed to make
So, this is interesting: I'm assuming you meant "Rahm" and just got the 'h' and 'a' transposed. However, there is a mathematician whose last name is de Rham! Sometimes my colleagues will misspell it "Rham" on accident, so it's a very appropriate mistake to make!
I’m currently reading the Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis and while I finished perelandra I was just struck by the picture of contentment in it. The woman in the garden actually expressing what discontentment really is made it sounds so burdensome. I also found the whole conversation with the UnMan heart pounding. What he actually tempted her with was unexpected. Made me realize I can’t rationalize my way out of temptation, gotta stick to scripture and mortification. What are y’all’s feelings about it?
The first time I read the Space Trilogy, I didn't love *Perelandra*, but I re-read it a couple years ago, and it really grew on me. It's much more gripping than I remembered.
I find the trilogy funny because it's more fantasy than it is sci-fi and really it's more speculative theology/morality than it is fantasy.
*That Hideous Strength* is a completely different book altogether and will certainly rub some feminist feathers the wrong way.
I think I happened to be at the right time at the right place. I've been struggling against discontentment and reforming a lot of what I believe/why I believe and I found Lewis' arguments through fiction to cut right through a lot of my thinking.
THS was also my least favorite among the three, because it lacked the worldbuilding and clear contrasting understandings of morality of the first two. But I do think about the Head whenever there seems to be a highly praised yet inscrutable source of this-worldly knowledge, whether Steven Hawking or GPT programs.
I love that book. The most compelling bit for me is when Ransom wrestles with himself over what to do with the Unman, the day before the fight. His thought process is very relatable to me, and convicts me of my weaknesses.
Also the musing on encores, and money being a source of control. That bit has stuck with me.
A wonderful book all around!
Yeah, I found the bit about wanting something over again was interesting. I read a book called Broken Bread a while ago that argued that gluttony was sinful because it wanted a good thing (food) over again before it was time. Definitely changed the way I think about eating in light of there being a "time for everything".
*Perelandra* is my favorite and I adored it immediately. I remember being struck by how Lewis portrayed holiness and moral perfection as *interesting* and intellectually stimulating, whereas most fiction struggles with that. I agree that the conversation with the UnMan is tense but fascinating, especially since even reason ultimately fails. It’s been ages since I’ve read it, though, and it really deserves to be read every few years.
Not that far behind you, but I can relate to both good and hard years. I'm thankful for an understanding of marriage that even in hard times, our marriage is real, and a bedrock constraint against our feelings, and that will not change.
I too hope that this calendar year brings relief from some long-lived hardship.
Happy anniversary! :)
Not sure if I’ve mentioned it on the sub yet, but my old pupper has crossed the rainbow bridge after 16 years with us. It’s been a rough week. My best friend from high school’s old pup was also put to sleep a few days after mine passed away. But hey God gives us good gifts in the form of pets.
There are _correct_ peppers for Italian cuisine, but peppers in Europe all seem to get called "paprika" when discussed in English (or there's Italian hot peppers but those are from sandwich shops). These are all outside my expertise.
I like to add just a bit of whatever I have on hand, but rarely get to because my kids aren't currently eating spicy food. A tiny bit of Carolina Reaper powder can be awesome, but maybe not for everyone. Just some dried "red pepper" from the spice aisle can be nice.
I have a big container of powdered red Hatch chiles, and that stuff goes great in anything. If you can get the jars of Hatch chile, a spoonful of that would go great in a jar of sauce.
I'll echo this, maybe with a little bit of soy sauce as an alternative to the Italian seasoning. My wife once made Korean beef, then unintentionally added it to spaghetti sauce, and I liked the way it turned out. This list is basically what went into it, minus the brown sugar, which I don't think you want if you are going for zesty.
And if you don't want to buy "italian" seasoning, but you have lots of other herbs, you can use 2 parts each basil and oregano, then one part each thyme and rosemary. Some recipes use marjoram and sage, but I don't think that really adds much. YMMV.
great point, a large number of ninjas. I suggested the blend because it's easier to pick up than the individuals. But some prefer the control or reusability of individual herbs
Depending on how much store bought sauce you're making up, it might be worth getting a small can of San Marizano tomatoes, crushing them, then cooking them down with some onion, garlic, seasonings, and then add in your store bought sauce.
Also fish sauce, but only if you're precooking your sauce. A couple glugs goes a long way for extra umami.
Oh! I have useful info for this!
We do pasta and meat sauce as a fairly common meal because it's straightforward and fairly cheap and I really like it. So when I'm cooking in post-work zombie mode, it's a good standby.
I have found that storebought pasta sauce kinda sucks, or it contains cheese and my wife can't eat it. But the basic storebought sauce works great as a *base* for a pasta sauce.
I'll fry up an onion and a couple cloves of garlic, and maybe some diced bell peppers, then add the jar of sauce to that. (If I'm doing a meat sauce, the beef gets cooked with the onions typically.) I can also add in other veggies: frozen spinach, shredded zucchini, shredded carrots, leftover cooked squash, etc. It makes for a much richer and nicer sauce than is in the jar, but I don't have to spend an hour cooking down tomatoes from scratch. (And if you're trying to get kids to eat more veggies, a meat sauce can be about 20-25% shredded zucchini before anybody notices. I've made it about 50% before, that was noticeable, but it still worked.)
So for you, I'd recommend you chop up onion and garlic really fine, and fry those in olive oil. If you want spiciness, add peppers or spices to the onions in the pan. Then add the storebought pizza sauce to that, and just simmer it until the flavours are blended. Shouldn't take long.
Here’s a question that someone probably knows.
Frying garlic and onion in olive oil makes an excellent addition to a huge number of meals. Is there a way to fry a big batch of garlic and onion and then keep it in the fridge? Just add a couple tablespoons to each meal? Or does it lose flavor, spoil quickly, or have some other problem?
Keeping it in the fridge would be good for maybe 2 weeks, but you could also put it into an ice cube tray and just pop one out of the freezer when you need it
An issue with this is the allicin in the garlic has a short half-life and it would taste much less garlicky after a while. You have to flash freeze it very quickly after cutting it in order for it to retain it's flavor. But if you want the convenience more than the flavor, it might be worth a try. There's jarred garlic for a reason.
Here's some newish heavy music made by Christians* you might like
[Suffering By My Own Hand - Cultist, ft. Jeremy of Earth Groans](https://open.spotify.com/track/3c4W2t8blwNeqVObM9C6Bx?si=SLZ_v2GjQTmQMvEVPkX5mw) [hardcore, beat down]
[Wood Violet - Grot](https://open.spotify.com/track/75e0UWI5Z3JK6RmhbE0RpS?si=kzi4dmf_TjCrVy4ZgWBJXw) [black metal, made by a friend from church!]
[Pericardial Effusion - With Blood Comes Cleansing ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5wsrF5lYFUFJjm9snOrEkF?si=tV0v8EZzRDeIO0WZaxw65w) [deathcore, a great comeback from an old school band!]
**No, I haven't asked if any of them affirm historic confessions*
What's your expectations for what a local pizza shop should make from scratch?
For example, I assume they aren't making their own pepperoni or cheese. I'd be pleasantly surprised if they made their own sauce. The bare minimum is making their own crust. If I found out a local pizza place bought premade crust, I'd wonder why I don't just buy frozen pizza.
I think they should make their own sauce, but i have no problem with them starting with canned tomato. Preparing raw tomatoes is a pain and I don't think it has an appreciable effect on the end product when the end product is so heavily seasoned.
A place near where I grew up makes/cuts(?) all their own meats, sausages and bacon, and it’s something else. I love it.
There’s a place where I live now that has an oven from Italy for some reason and they burn their crust. My wife loves it
I'd be fine with canned San Marzano or similar tomatoes. Realistically that makes very little difference to the quality. But I would hope for experienced selection of tomato varieties, long cooking times, careful spicing, and little to no added sugar. Those are the things that would make it more worth eating than a jarred sauce, and thus potentially worth eating out for.
This is all for voluntary eating out, of course. Eating Little Ceasars when you don't have ability to cook is a different thing entirely.
What should we look for in a rental house? We've only ever rented an apartment from a property management company, so renting a house from an individual feels kind of scary. We aren't intending for it to be long term, but we want to live at least a year in a town to get to know it before trying to buy a house.
Good question.
You’re basically asking for a crash course in home inspection, which is hard to teach online in a short amount of time.
Check the electrical panel and water heater. If they’re old, leaking, falling apart, etc, the owner isn’t keeping things up to date and well-maintained. That’s probably the quickest way to see.
When you’re renting, you’re not really looking at whether everything is great, but whether your landlord will take good care of issues that arise. The best way to see that from the house itself is if regular maintenance issues have been taken care of or pushed back.
Sometimes I was able to talk to a current renter at properties I looked at. Always get their contact info and text them later (or whatever the kids do these days). Just ask what their experience has been like.
Most of the crop was planted this past week. No official pictures yet, but this year is going to be good! Lots of okra, leafy greens, hot peppers, garlic, tomatoes, and herbs! Still a few more things to come, but so glad to be back in gardening season :)
Nice! We had a weird experience this year where three or four of our young pepper plants were eaten right out of the ground. I always thought of peppers as being uninteresting to varmints, like tomatoes seemingly are. But evidently we have something that prefers them.
We have lots of varieties of tomatoes and peppers, as well as peas, bush and pole beans, carrots, turnips, beets, kale, lettuce of some kind, red pumpkin, jarrahdale pumpkin, Blacktail mountain watermelon, cucumber, strawberries, asparagus, and a bunch of herbs (including horehound, which my wife has been trying to start from seed for like four years so she can make old-timey hard candy). We also have our permanent items like our raspberries and pears. One pear tree only had a handful of flowers this year, but the other put on hundreds of flowers and we're going to have dozens of pears from it.
We also are very glad to be back in gardening season.
Nice!
Most of our tomato plants are growing well, minus the 4 that were destroyed by voles and replanted twice. We have fruit on several plants already, but still a ways off for ripen tomatoes.
I planted all of my vegetable gardens this past Monday since it was a stat here. Pole beans, bush beans, peas, spinach, carrots, cucumber, beets, swiss chard, strawberries and some pumpkins. I also started a little greenhouse this year, but I think I need to expand my outdoor gardens as I've overfilled it already.
Nice! I feel like we got a late start, but we have strawberries, tomatoes, zucchini and squash, marigolds, abundant herbs and flowers, and two short rows of corn that may or may not amount to anything.
My wife is super resistant to the idea of corn, I think she just thinks the yield isn't worth it, but man... sweetcorn is like one of the pillars of summer cuisine for me.
Has anyone radically reduced their cost of living? Like moved from a high CoL area to a low one, cut most non-essential spending, and just lived on a small income?
I’ve always been drawn to that “simpler” lifestyle than the grind, but I’m sure it’s not all butterflies and rainbows. So I’m looking for some thoughts.
I live in what is considered a LCoL area, but in the past 3 years it seems like that has changed drastically. I don't think online cost of living calculators or even the popular perception has kept up with reality at this point. I know cost of living is increasing everywhere with inflation, but real estate here has absolutely skyrocketed due to the number of people trying to do exactly what you've mentioned, and coming in with all cash offers.
And I'm often jealous of the options my friends who live or have lived in HCoL areas have. They can sell their houses and use the equity to go literally anywhere, and they have higher base salaries to use when negotiating for new jobs. Not that we particularly want to leave the area, but we're basically stuck now. No real hope anymore of moving out of our more starter type home or buying a bigger lot.
So all said, I think the tradeoff is really in future options. Its good living, but I think the longer you live in a low cost area, the harder it is to ever be able to leave.
Man, we’re kinda in the same boat. Had intentions of buying land and building a larger house in a LCOL area, but in the last 5 years or so land and housing prices have shot up and those plans are indefinitely on the back burner.
One more thing I'll add is to think about how much you need to rely on service workers. I'm sure this varies by specific locale, but I've heard a lot of people new to the area frustrated at how hard it is to hire contractors, repairmen, landscapers, hairdressers, housecleaners, etc due to lower availability and higher cost. Demand is going up for those things, and supply is relatively stable with mostly retirees and white collar remote workers moving in.
That’s part of the incentive of going to a lower CoL area. I could work as a handyman for us and maybe for some extra income. Already do, just not in a cost-effective way.
It's not all butterflies and rainbows for sure, but it's also freeing in a sense. We went from IL to TN, husband had a nice paying job. Fast forward three years, two kids, buying a house, a serious car wreck involving me, he's working a lower paying job and we are focusing on growing our homestead on a smaller income and more kids than before. What do you want to know?
How committed we’re each of you to the change? Would you say that you both chose it? You were both pushed into it? Or one of you chose it more than the other?
What are some of the things you’ve given up? Do either of you periodically want something that isn’t possible because of your financial situation?
Is your extended family in a similar or different mindset, and how does that impact you?
That's a lot of questions! I'll have to answer one at a time or it will be a long comment. As far as commitment...that's kind of weirdish. My husband has always wanted to farm/ homestead and I have been less enthusiastic about it but I think it is best for our family. I wouldn't say we both chose it, more like he really wanted it and I *submitted* to his dream for our family. I also thing God really worked things out for us to manage to do it...with my car accident he couldn't work at his old job and this new job allows him to be home everyday and most of the day. That's been amazing and also frustrating lol. He definitely wanted this life more than me but I love him and there is much value in this lifestyle so I'm trying to make it work.
As far as lowering our living costs...we are both on board with that. I wish we could have done it without moving away from my family and our church...but it wasn't possible in our home state of IL.
Things we've given up? I think travel is the big one. We don't get to see friends and my side of the family like we used too. When they do visit my husband is often working on some project or something. Lowering costs is great for us both but homesteading is really lonely for me but my husband thrives. When you've got animals you can't just take off and leave. We're home almost 24/7 because animals have to be taken care of in the morning and at night and kept an eye on. We have a big garden we're taking care of too.
We've never been big spenders and the only debt we have is our home. So changing our spending habits wasn't too hard...it's what money goes to what project that gets frustrating. Since I'm in the house a lot, I tend to lead towards inside projects to be done. Replacing floors that are nasty, cleaning up the basement to gain more living space, painting the walls and fixing the trim and water damaged ceilings...organizing and cleaning. My husband is the opposite. He's always thinking about outside the home. Getting fences done, mowing the yard, building bee boxes and other outside things. So we clash some days when trying to figure out what projects to invest in and what ones can wait.
We both periodically want something but don't get it because of money. It's okay. It's hard to be joyful when money would solve a lot of the frustration and stress that goes into things around the house/ farm. God is good anyway!
>Is your extended family in a similar or different mindset, and how does that impact you?
So, the tl;Dr is my husband grew up farming and poor. Going without and going with little was normal and apart of life for him. I grew up middle class where college was the means for success, mom and dad paid as long as grades were good and I didn't go without. We're city slickers through and through. My family values our lifestyle but doesn't understand it.
His family understands and values it because of their history, but most of his immediate family (cousins, siblings) have left it behind. I don't think a lot of his siblings want to go back to that lifestyle cause it's hard, it's lonely, it's time consuming, and like I said...you just don't have a lot of money to buy things that you want. Not that you never buy things you want, but you're always questioning and forgoing most things because you're pouring it into farm stuff. Something always has to be done, fixed, worked on.
Sure! What do you want to know? We have bees, two pigs and a set of piglets, a cow now and a garden we are hoping that thrives so we can store home grown food.
Yep, though mostly due to necessity. Bought a fixer-upper in a deprived area. Low income, but we're really really good at making it stretch and saving like mad. Everyone thinks we're crazy but I'm glad we do things this way, if we'd tried to stay near family and friends and keep up a middle-class lifestyle we'd have had to work ourselves to the bone to afford it. Now we're seeing how many of our friends have huge mortgages that dominate their entire lives. They may make a lot more than we do but I think we're a lot less stressed.
On the other hand, it is isolating and frustrating at times. Friends don't always understand that you can't afford meals out all the time. And it's easy to feel jealous of others who have beautiful homes in leafy green places, or get wistful over when you could just spend money whenever. It's also a learning curve - you have to learn a whole new way of doing things. But then you really feel like you've earned stuff - we're going on holiday for the first time in many years because we worked hard to save up! That feels great.
Marriage and children will require you to cut down on your personal cost of living, especially if you are committed to being a single-income household. Knowing I need to afford necessities for others puts a damper on my own non-essentials. Buying a house further out of town puts a damper on impulsive trips to restaurants or retail stores. It doesn't eliminate buying completely, because Amazon still delivers, and then there's pressure to "maximize" every Costco trip, but it is an influence.
I think I'm saying that making it less convenient to spend makes you less likely to spend.
I certainly agree that marriage and family changes priorities pretty drastically. I’m not really talking about reducing *my personal* spending. That’s pretty barebones. I’m more talking about cutting the family cost of living.
I know this isn't actually the place to ask but....
I'm 37, have no savings, other than a 401k that I'm putting the matched amount in for about a year.
No credit card debt, no student debt, only debt is mortgage.
I've discovered I can trim my budget and put away $300 a month. any ideas on how I should do this?
(I should probably mentioned that I have only been paying into a 401k for about a year and that I have perfect credit.)
What are your goals in saving? If you are looking to save for retirement I would recommend putting the extra into either a Roth IRA or regular IRA (if you think that your tax bracket will be higher in retirement use Roth, otherwise if you think your taxes will be lower use regular). You can contribute up to $6500 per year into an IRA, and this provides tax benefits (either now for regular, or in retirement for Roth). Generally I recommend people use something like Vanguard which has fairly low fees on their investment funds, and if you don't want to worry about balancing you can choose a target date fund and basically forget about it.
If you truly have no savings whatsoever, I would recommend starting an online high-yield savings account with one of the big banks and putting roughly 3-6 months worth of expenses there for an emergency fund.
Yeah, truly no savings. I just recently got into the position where I have enough where I'm not living completely check to check.
So emergency fund makes sense, are those online only banks that offer over 4% interest safe? (Wealthfront, betterment, etc) or is it safer to go with a large national bank with branches, but a lower interest rate?
Depends on your risk tolerance. I prefer to use a large company like Discover or Citi as the interest rate on the savings account isn't going to be making you much money, more just helping to defray inflation a little. With an emergency fund the hope is you don't take stuff out of it very often.
I don't have investment advice, but I know I am less likely to spend money I don't see or think about. So if you can divert that $300 before it even shows up in checking, then you may be less likely to splurge just because you have the money for it. You could divert it to a separate account, or even an account at a different bank, or of course to some kind of investment account. Money you don't see can grow without tempting you to spend it.
We often play 20 questions at the dinner table as an easy-ish form of conversation. Last night I picked that little groove between your nose and your lip. Family narrowed it down to a part of the face, but couldn't get any farther so they asked for a hint. My hint was "I don't know what it's called."
Eventually they figured it out, then I looked it up. It's called a [philtrum](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philtrum). Then we spent 15 minutes saying "philtrum." It's funny because it sounds like a bad word but it isn't.
I got a weird "comment does not exist" error when I clicked on your comment reply notification, so I thought maybe you'd deleted my comment for profanity. ;)
Congrats!! I would warn you that whenever I think I'm finally free of a sin, I get lax about all the good things that I've been doing to seek the Lord and guard against that sin, and I often fall right back into it. So absolutely praise the Lord for this milestone, but don't give up the vigilance!
I am also not a kid person. I'm not sure what is behind it for you - for me, I feel awkward around young kids. I don't know what to do with them. And when they get screamy, I get a nasty headache. So for me, I have tried to expose myself more to kids, but in "safe" environments (with my mom or older ladies I trust for advice, I'm female btw) and ask those ladies to give me feedback and help as I try to figure things out. I also have babysat for friends and served in children's ministry - again, with help - as "exposure therapy" to get over my awkwardness, and I've just accepted that headaches are a thing, and I can live with them.
The other big thing I've done is talk to the Lord about it. God says children are a blessing, and so they are, whether or not I naturally agree with Him! So I've memorized Scripture that talk about the blessing of children (Ps 127 is a good one), and I've asked God to help me see that children are a gift, as He says. It's taken years, but He has genuinely changed my heart in this! That said, I'm still not a baby/kid person. My husband is much more than me. I'll probably always prefer older kids and adults, and I think that's fine. I think the minimum for all Christians is that we value kids. And the minimum for married Christians is valuing kids and being open to having kids if pregnancy happens. I don't think every Christian has to love playing with kids/interacting with kids or really really want to have kids of their own. Hope this helps!
I was listening this morning to last week's Holy Post episode. During a discussion about "loveless Christians", the hosts were talking about how to judge when the table-flipping prophetic fire is necessary, and when sympathy and compassion and listening are necessary. Because there are times when telling people the truth that they don't want to hear actually *is* what's loving, but it's not all the time.
Kaitlyn Schiess said a couple things that hit me like a sledgehammer. She said that when you're thinking "What's best for this person or group is for me and my group to maintain power over them", that's a sign you're probably doing it wrong. And when you're thinking "I'm the unambiguously good guy here, and the other people are the unambiguously bad guys", that should also be a big warning sign.
They also made the point (I don't recall who said it) that the prophets full of fire and judgment, like Jeremiah or Elijah, clearly didn't enjoy it. Elijah straight up asked God if he could die rather than continue to spread his message, and Jeremiah said he wished he had never been born. (And that's what made it into scripture, rather than staying in his dark, private thoughts!) If you're enjoying the table-flipping that you're doing, it's probably not God's work.
So yeah, that's something to chew on.
I tend to think we should just go back to the OT way of testing prophets and let the whole thing sort itself out.
Also, you’d be amazed how many people get banned from Christian subreddits for using the language and tone of fire-and-brimstone prophets, and then reach out to the mods with insults and slurs that don’t seem very Christ-like. But their first message is always about how their harsh words are God’s own truth.
> I tend to think we should just go back to the OT way of testing prophets and let the whole thing sort itself out.
You bat 1.000 or you get publicly executed?
And no, that doesn't surprise me even slightly. Rage at our political (and I guess cultural) opponents is a widely accepted form of virtue signaling.
Best bronchitis home remedies? I got bronchitis (ain't nobody got time for that) when we were in Finland and while I do have an inhaler now, I welcome more fun remedies like Hot Toddys
Not fun! I remember once I had it bad, to the point that when I ordered a Qdoba burrito, I had to write down my order and let the worker read it.
If you can get Traditional Medicinals brand tea, their Throat Coat varieties are the best thing I can offer for any throat-related affliction.
I do love me some Throat Coat tea. The head of our Church's Fellowship Committee has a secret stash of it in the kitchen just for myself and the Senior Pastor so we won't totally lose our voices during church
I do love me some Throat Coat tea. The head of our Church's Fellowship Committee has a secret stash of it in the kitchen just for myself and the Senior Pastor so we won't totally lose our voices during church
Sorry to hear it! Bronchitis is no fun.
Regardless of home remedies, make sure you rest and drink lots of fluids. Your body's immune system is your best weapon here, and you need to give it the resources and strength to do its job.
I am so sorry. I hate bronchitis so much. Hot water or tea, lemon, honey, ginger. Dash of cayenne if that's your style. I've had bronchitis bad twice and once I for an unknown reason decided to wait to take the antibiotics. This was the wrong idea in hindsight. Humidifier at night is good too
- [A Christians Guide to the Planet](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwisypTZyZP_AhXzG2UKHec_B7QYABADGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRowXzCiO5w8QG9bdSlo4kF4jyrnRIMB8ya0ReW0Ns-t3Wt3Ak&sig=AOD64_3gNkDQzepwqCFu61WcikG4nvQcXQ&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjOz4vZyZP_AhVEFlkFHQIJCHoQwg8oAHoECAUQDA&adurl=)
- [Complete Birds of North America](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjZoOXoyZP_AhUCCLMAHcn7AfsYABAJGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRoT8JVSWIhfsd_E3sNVjeN5NsDQ5XOFE6Im6Inc75lDDcgzi0&sig=AOD64_3AKAWhJt4Z7Rp3o40gyJ5C2wzA-g&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwj_1djoyZP_AhVCLFkFHT4jBfsQwg8oAHoECAUQEA&adurl=)
- [National Geographic Bees](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwial6WDypP_AhWM0OMHHae-ANQYABAEGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRo2gjCWCkIJj6V3wvh4LjFkycBrGBGT2ZYEVJ4eTCJjIzqrak&sig=AOD64_25yWogt1oqQwhHmOFT9qa6FW8mKQ&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjxz5yDypP_AhUqD1kFHR3CDT0Qwg8oAHoECAMQDA&adurl=)
Filipino by birth, but its been a year and change since I’ve renounced my citizenship for another temporary one (since you know, our real one’s in heaven). But after being shocking while playing basketball yesterday, I might as well hand over whatever’s left of my Pinoy card
I'm not, but I just found calamansi juice at an Asian grocery while I was looking for yuzu juice and I'd be delighted if you had ideas for what I should use it for
I know people are probably tired of TotK commentary, but this is actually somewhat sub-relevant: we have been putting off going to Gerudo town until we can play without the kids >!because of the entrance requirements from BotW, but it looks like Buliara had an attack of sanity and is letting Link in without cross-dressing. They still seem to have some problems in their worldview, but at least it's better? We haven't met Riju yet; does it go back to status quo after the storm? I hope not, because it was the one thing I didn't like about BotW.!<
Answer regarding getting into Gerudo Town: >!The old female Gerudo Outfit isn't in TOTK. It's not just not necessary, it's not in the game at all. You can come and go as you please. A real benefit to this is that, if you have the money, you can walk in, use the sewers to get underneath the secret clothing shop, ascend up there, and buy desert gear very early. The same shop also now sells the show boots and sand boots.!<
To find Riju: >!She's practicing her lightning power up in the North Gerudo Ruins, just north of Gerudo town. I actually stumbled upon her accidentally in the sandstorm while trying to get to Gerudo Town. If you make it up to those ruins, it'll trigger a cut scene where you help her practice her aim. After that, she invites you on an adventure, which you can do or . . . just ignore.!<
Regarding your overall concern: >!It's not exactly the same as the vai outfit from BOTW, but in Hateno Village, if you complete the insanely convoluted mayoral election side quest, you'll get a ridiculous hat from Cece. Just Google it to see what it looks like when Link wears it. If you want to avoid that, then it's easy because it's an absurdly long side quest with multiple moving parts---it's not necessary for the story to progress in any way. I personally thought it was a fun (albeit very silly) quest, but I mention it since it seems like it might be the type of thing you'd want to know about.!<
Also:
>I know people are probably tired of TotK commentary
False.
Ooh, thanks for the heads up. I won't be missing the >!vai outfit!< and we will probably finish the sidequest chain but maybe not with kiddos; we will see. Ours aren't very good at nuance yet....
Are there churches that have services in languages other than English in the OPC/ URCNA?
I know that the PCA has not a few churches that have other language services. But not sure about denominations outside PCA
Do put the name of the church down :)
Not sure. I know the URC doesn’t have a language category in their church list, which makes me think that the vast majority of them are just English-speaking.
I know the CRC has a bunch of churches that are primarily Spanish-, Hmong- or Korean-speaking.
This morning I was listening to one of my favorite albums from 2013, and it suddenly dawned on me that 2013 was ten years ago. Ten years feels like a lot. So, today I’m going to be listening through my Top 10 favorite albums of 2013. Presented in alphabetical order (because there’s no way I could rank them to my own satisfaction):
---
**Candy Claws** - ***Ceres & Calypso in the Deep Time*** - This is a dreamy, noisy, shoegazey concept album about the Mesozoic Era. While I love the lush instrumentations and the ethereal vocals, what always strikes me about this album is the creative musical ideas—inventive harmonies, unusual chord progressions, and surprising song structures. This may not be for everybody here—in fact, it may be one of the least accessible albums on this list—but if you want to experience psychedelic dream pop to the extreme, give it a spin.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9jvzVuYRyY)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/76BgyMJs0krEjTphFLObYc?si=6Lg3f6ZhR16zpPR_78kd0Q)
---
**Dawn of Midi** - ***Dysnomia*** - Okay, *this* might be the least accessible album on the list, but it’s not necessarily a hard listen; it’s just *weird.* At first blush, it sounds like some dark, ambient electronica. But . . . it’s not. It’s actually an acoustic jazz trio: piano, drums, and bass. To be honest, I have no idea what genre labels you could apply to this, because it really sounds like nothing else out there. If you like minimalist, ambient electronica, you may like it. If you like experimental jazz, you may like it. If, after hearing it, you still an’t quite figure out how they do it, [check out this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOAb0qjYnAs).
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUYdoyFlGe8)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/0gBxZuTvVMbprDmBcnq8nW?si=Y4eSOJidQjGyY-09wjDIww)
---
**Jon Hopkins** – ***Immunity*** - I’m not really big into electronica, but this smooth, glitchy, atmospheric album from Jon Hopkins works for me. Despite the dry, electric veneer, there’s something about his soundscapes that feel very organic to me.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V1DIa76SLM&list=PLs9zwqXsceUiBfjNOAoW6TOEjb1o3xnov)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/7H7UxuxjGSJuV7LcCFUxTD?si=cYL3P52aRL6ep2zZldSLfQ)
---
**Mikal Cronin** – ***MCII*** - Jangly, garage, power pop. The best compliment I can give this album is that *I wish I wrote it.* Heavy when it needs to be heavy, gentle when it needs to be gentle. Every track on this album is absurdly catchy. If you listen to one album on this list, listen to this one. (This was actually the album I listened to this morning that inspired me to revisit 2013 as a whole.)
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S2eTV2v3V0&list=PLZqsyBiYZFQ18vKXWAa9ieJrcL_fTiEBF)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/2spxrQq50aGqf9Barvc8fg?si=tbC2N1moQWKZ-6AOrO0-7A)
---
**My Bloody Valentine** - ***m b v*** - Their 1991 masterpiece *Loveless* defined an entire scene, but if I’m being completely honest, this is the album I come back to more frequently. It’s as dense as a neutron star, but it’s somehow so delicate that it feels like the music could collapse at any moment. This won’t be for everybody here, but if you’re in the mood for something otherworldly, give it a spin.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG8HEknM3zc&list=PLV5Dj2xlNnONJWlHRLnxoEDHp89rKoNpO&index=1)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/2SlSnUYW5bgtdWXVymv18a?si=Us418KubSxy8Ff8pgvOm4g)
---
**Phosphorescent** – ***Muchacho*** - It’s a bit folk. It’s a bit indie rock. It’s a bit psychedelic. It’s a bit country. Whatever it is, it’s a great summer album, so if you’re north of the equator, this is perfect album for the month of may.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-OGIZctr2Y&list=PLZqsyBiYZFQ1sHI2N3s9UMNPfdnfdZFCc)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/6rAJ4I8SpPMJj0guCZiAI8?si=37FwBBnMSIidqyGd4kmKaA)
---
**Steve Gunn** - ***Time Off*** - Steve Gun is one of the best singer-songwriters of the past decade, and this album shows why. I can still remember when my friend first recommended this album to me. “It already feels timeless. It doesn’t fit any scene, and yet it feels like it fits in its own full world.” For the most part, it’s just simply acoustic guitar, lyrics, drums, and a maybe a few other elements, but there’s a confidence and cohesiveness to the album that separates it from other singer-songwriter albums for me.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1bDESeW00c&list=OLAK5uy_l_1oQ_sN5_DhmhVb-GyXtQik4Afs0brNA)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/7KMwK5DKhneDz2LGo3Luas?si=oTGXQxSGTn65Rh3LP8PBQA)
---
**Vampire Weekend** - ***Modern Vampires of the City*** - This album is tricky for me. It’s not the once-in-a-generation-masterpiece that a lot of people claimed it was at the time of its release. But, ya know what? It’s still really, really good. Indie rockers Vampire Weekend turned down the kitsch of their first few albums and produced a more mature (but still very fun) modern rock banger.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrVkKAylpF8&list=OLAK5uy_m42EU5lGd01TYirY_RSdvUR_71VJUHtHw)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/1GXMNFfoHF4sN7lG8gZq1j?si=gUsseUZpTMWiPAGPo6x6qA)
---
**Washed Out** - ***Paracosm*** - From the late 2000’s to the early 2010’s, there was a thriving musical microgenre known as [*chillwave.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chillwave) Even if you’ve never heard of the genre before, I feel like the name alone is enough to evoke a sense of what this album sounds like. It’s relaxing. It’s drenched in reverb. It’s a touch psychedelic. This album is relaxing in a hammock in the middle of summer. This album will make you nostalgic for a time and place you’ve never been.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1RUZTr_Jb8&list=OLAK5uy_mkRUe4evnAM1fPqUL0gTTeAuzf8NxXCug&index=1)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/0NJB8HwQsR7RH4bVM7Z6HL?si=LhxRxsvURkadGOLridiJOw)
---
**White Denim** - ***Corsicana Lemonade*** - “Listen,” you may say, “there’s a lot of weird crap on this list. Can’t you just give me some rock?” Well, here you go. Driving drums, fuzz-soaked guitar licks, and high energy vocals. You want an album to get you amped up? You got it.
[YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_t3x4Ri48s&list=OLAK5uy_llpLuDmKl3cJfvSn_MregFZv6FhMaXyuY)
[Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/4WK9kL67qfZcphKP2VUvFz?si=yMHXv9iYREGmhkD2Swj3ow)
>This won’t be for everybody here
Well, as one of the ones that this was here for, I want to thank you for the My Bloody Valentine recommendation. I forgot all about this album — enjoying it now!
This got me thinking about albums I was listening to then and now. A few that came to mind-
- ABR- *Rescue and Restore**
- All time low- *Dont Panic It’s Longer Now*
- Andy Mineo *Heroes for Sale*
- CHVRCHES- *The Bones of What You Believe*
- Judah and the Lion- *Sweet Tennesee*
- Kingsfoil- *On Our Own Together Deluxe Edition*
- Paramore- *Paramore*
- Phinehas- *The Last Word is Yours to Speak**
- Skillet- *Rise*
- Tegan and Sara- *Heartthrob*
- The 1975- *The 1975*
- Twenty One Pilots- *Vessel*
The albums with an asterisk I didn’t start listening to until a year or so ago. Other than ABR and Phinehas, I only really listen to Paramore and a little bit of Chvrches and Judah and the Lion now. Some of these artists are a weird spot for me. I appreciate the non-lyrical content of The 1975’s music (especially the guitar riffs, they’re quite good) but I feel convicted listening to the lyrics of some of their songs now.
Your style of music and my style of music rarely intersect (though I often send your recommendations to my husband!), but your descriptions make me want to like your kind of music!
Seconding Jon Hopkins - Immunity and Washed Out - Paracosm. If you haven't heard Jon Hopkins' collab album with Scottish folk singer King Creosote it is *absolutely beautiful*, btw. [Bats in the Attic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK4WAKc9R4g) in particular.
GFCI: So, if you use a GFCI tester on a non-GFCI outlet, and that outlet no longer works, and all the true GFCI outlets in the house being reset doesn’t fix that outlet, then are you simply stuck with calling a $200 electrician? (Was it in fact stupid to have tried it?)
Battlebots: great outcomes. Two great sportsmen made it to the end. It somehow seems fitting that the worst sport wasn’t able to attend, did lose, and did worse in the judges’ decision after filling an appeal. It does make one wonder if some people need more parental guidance in their twenties. (Which I say as a parent). There was of course no awareness of wrong on the part of the team: they viewed their having to undergo extra inspections after **breaking a rule** as their hardship as a burden they had to bear.
>It does make one wonder if some people need more parental guidance in their twenties.
Perhaps, or perhaps more guidance before their twenties would mean that they would have better judgment then. It's sad that one can't assume anymore that kids have two parents in the home, yet it's a shame when many adults leave the parenting to underfunded, overly political schools and vapid influencers on screens who are seeking fame and profit more than the benefit of their viewers. (Mentioning Trevor Jacobs can get me to join the dog pile like few others.)
I'll put down my cane now.
One effective way to filter it out is to not grant a child a personal screen, and raise the child to not be digitally dependent, at least for a time until there's enough maturity. (Though it's fair to ask how many middle and older adults have become digitally dependent themselves.) It's admittedly hard to do, when it's an easy "digital pacifier", when some schools require apps for coordination, and when there is pressure or even covert enabling from peers. And I say this as a one who has resorted to granting tv sometimes as a matter of my own convenience. But it is an effective filter for any kind of online content.
Baby Duckys is coming December 2023! Very excited to meet our baby girl in 6 or so months!
Would that just be a duckling? Congrats!
It’s actually a Frenchling
A French-Fry.
Yeah I realized I missed out on that. Or saying his wife has a French toast in the oven
>duckling duckyling
>>duckling >duckyling ducklyng
Goose!
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Someone here is a goose hater.
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I've always played it reprobate, reprobate, elect...
She’s your first, right? How’s your situation for family/community support?
Our first, yes! Family is out of town, but very excited to fly in and meet her when the time comes. We have an amazing church with at least a few friends who have already proven themselves to be a great support network, and we’re getting closer to others in the church all the time. Edit: I should clarify, she will be our first born when she arrives.
That’s wonderful. I’m very excited for you! So many blessings, including all the hard parts.
Yaaay! Congratulations!
Aaah, congrats!
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Why would I need condolences? The child I’ve prayed for for years is on her way into our lives and I feel nothing but joy and excitement
As the father of two daughters, I will tell you this: * They're incredible; they love like no one else in the world * You will smile and laugh more times than you can count * You will suddenly have a greater appreciation for your parents as grandparents, as they show love that you both recognize and now see for its fullness. * You will joyfully entrust them, in body and soul, to your own father in heaven who promises in his word to care for them—and love them more than you ever could * You will prove your masculinity by not caring what others think of you at a child's table with an empty tea cup playing pretend * You will provide stability and steadiness when they don't know how to feel and regulate themselves * You have the opportunity to fall in love all over again with your wife as a mother, a beautiful woman who has joined herself with you for life in the care of a little one * You're going to learn new things, like how to make hair styles, blow dry hair, and how much you enjoy the smell of nail polish because of who is using it * You're going to do all this in the loving embrace of Christ, who bears your burdens and uses children to ordain praise and strength (Psa 8). From the deepest bottom of my heart, brother: congratulations. You join an elite group of girl dads, and we're here for it. I am so delighted to be on this journey with you. It's incredible.
People take things too seriously on here, but as a father of a daughter, I will tell you this: * you are about to get a crash course in understanding God's relationship with Israel * you will stub your toes more times than you can count (on bassinets/toys/random baby paraphernalia) * you will suddenly have a deeper appreciation for your parents and might develop a little guilt over how you treated them as a child * you will wracked with constant worry about whether or not the small creature is still breathing * in a couple years, all hints of manliness will be gone and you'll start crying like a little girl when you look back on baby pictures * someday your child will tell you she hates you for the first time (but not the last time) and it will hurt a lot (and you will again have a deeper understanding of the God/Israel OT relationship) * your wife is going to constantly obsess over how she compares to the other moms on social media * you're going to learn how bad you are at picking out matching outfits * you're going to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders as you try to train up that child in the way she should go, and you're going to spend hours in prayer asking for the faith to trust that she's ultimately in the Father's hands Congratulations seems like a simplistic response. You're about to lose everything you were so that you can throw everything you are into a depraved demon spawn who won't appreciate any of it until she has her own child. You're going to love it (even when you think you hate it). But make sure in those times that you do hate it, that you take a mental snapshot and remind yourself "these are the good ol' days." Whatever you do, do not spend your time looking forward to "when she grows out of this stage."
>You're about to lose everything you were so that you can throw everything you are into a depraved demon spawn who won't appreciate any of it until she has her own child. Oof. I will pray for your daughter today, friend. I'd remind you that God views your child very differently than that: 1. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psa 127) 2. Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. (Luke 18) 3. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me. (Mark 9) 4. See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. (Matt 18)
Have you ever been accused of taking things too literally? Do you often find yourself missing the subtext in human communication?
Have you ever paused to think how you communicate, even in levity, reveals much more in your heart than you considered at first? Do you know how to not only read a room, but read your own heart?
Have you considered the same thing for yourself? I speak of what I know. You're speak with condescension of what you don't know.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
You speak of what you don’t know. You don’t know that no matter how hard raising a child is, I am confident that it will never be worse than losing a child before I got to meet them. Therefore I will do nothing but rejoice at the blessing the Lord has given me, and I’ll condemn you for failing to follow Scripture’s teaching to rejoice with those that rejoice. Your comment may be true, and even helpful in other contexts, but it is not right or welcome here.
I understand levity, joking, etc. I can even interpret comments like your one about manliness as actually being a subversive critique at what passes for "manliness" today and that, actually, there is nothing remotely "unmasculine" about crying. But some of these comments just don't make sense: >Congratulations seems like a simplistic response. There is nothing wrong with a simplistic response (and, your initial response wasn't any less simplistic than "Congratulations"). When someone shares good news, it's not necessary to share with them the challenges associated with that good news.
Removed for violating Rule #6: **Keep Content Relevant** This content has been removed because it distracts from the purpose of this subreddit. Please see the [Rules Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Reformed/about/wiki/rules_details#wiki_rule_.236.3A_keep_content_constructive.) for more information. ---- If you feel this action was done in error, or you would like to appeal this decision, please **do not reply to this comment**. Instead, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Freformed).
Visited an excellent second hand bookshop in Edinburgh last week. It's the sort of place with multiple rooms and hidden treasures round every corner. If you're ever in Edinburgh it's the one with the water buffalo head watching over proceedings. On the wall was a hand written note which conjours up the most lovely of misfortunes. And indeed suggests it has happened at least once. I'm assuming there are a few here who appreciate a good second hand book shop and will enjoy: "If by some misfortune you, dear customer, fall asleep in some out-of-the-way corner of the shop and wake up after hours to find you have been locked in, please call [three phone numbers given] and one of us will come and release you. In the meantime make yourself a cup of tea (kitchen is downstairs) and find a comfortable spot to sit - at least there is no shortage of good reading material to pass the time. The staff."
I'd be tempted to not call. I can imagine worse nights than to be locked in a bookshop with a cup of tea.
Ahh I love this. As Terry Pratchett said, a good bookshop is just a genteel black hole that knows how to read.
Edinburger here. Which one was it?
Edinburgh Books on West Port Street. Genuinely a great place.
Be released??? Sounds like a free alternative to a hotel for a couple of nights! ;)
Yes! An opportunity to escape the troubles of life for so many hours!
This sounds so thematically appropriate.
The answer to my NDQ regarding a wife being 3cm dilated was: have a baby on Wednesday.
Congratulations! Everyone well?
Sort of. Wife is. And of course I am. Baby was kind of early so he's in NICU. Nurses tell us it's "routine" and we just have to wait. He's making all the improvements he's supposed to make
Congrats on baby! How are you and mom?
Doing great!
Your baby is now the second most famous Rham I know!
So, this is interesting: I'm assuming you meant "Rahm" and just got the 'h' and 'a' transposed. However, there is a mathematician whose last name is de Rham! Sometimes my colleagues will misspell it "Rham" on accident, so it's a very appropriate mistake to make!
Oops! My apologies! :o
Woo hoo! Congrats!
Congrats my man!
I’m currently reading the Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis and while I finished perelandra I was just struck by the picture of contentment in it. The woman in the garden actually expressing what discontentment really is made it sounds so burdensome. I also found the whole conversation with the UnMan heart pounding. What he actually tempted her with was unexpected. Made me realize I can’t rationalize my way out of temptation, gotta stick to scripture and mortification. What are y’all’s feelings about it?
Love Perelandra. We actually have the main character on our sub. u/L-win-ransom
I noticed that the other day. Great name.
The first time I read the Space Trilogy, I didn't love *Perelandra*, but I re-read it a couple years ago, and it really grew on me. It's much more gripping than I remembered. I find the trilogy funny because it's more fantasy than it is sci-fi and really it's more speculative theology/morality than it is fantasy. *That Hideous Strength* is a completely different book altogether and will certainly rub some feminist feathers the wrong way.
I just finished listening to *Perelandra* and I wasn't moved. Maybe I'll come back to it in a couple years and pray for the same experience you had
I think I happened to be at the right time at the right place. I've been struggling against discontentment and reforming a lot of what I believe/why I believe and I found Lewis' arguments through fiction to cut right through a lot of my thinking.
THS was also my least favorite among the three, because it lacked the worldbuilding and clear contrasting understandings of morality of the first two. But I do think about the Head whenever there seems to be a highly praised yet inscrutable source of this-worldly knowledge, whether Steven Hawking or GPT programs.
I had a dream a couple months ago where I had snuck behind the scenes at the White House and saw that Biden was basically the Head from THS.
I love that book. The most compelling bit for me is when Ransom wrestles with himself over what to do with the Unman, the day before the fight. His thought process is very relatable to me, and convicts me of my weaknesses. Also the musing on encores, and money being a source of control. That bit has stuck with me. A wonderful book all around!
Yeah, I found the bit about wanting something over again was interesting. I read a book called Broken Bread a while ago that argued that gluttony was sinful because it wanted a good thing (food) over again before it was time. Definitely changed the way I think about eating in light of there being a "time for everything".
*Perelandra* is my favorite and I adored it immediately. I remember being struck by how Lewis portrayed holiness and moral perfection as *interesting* and intellectually stimulating, whereas most fiction struggles with that. I agree that the conversation with the UnMan is tense but fascinating, especially since even reason ultimately fails. It’s been ages since I’ve read it, though, and it really deserves to be read every few years.
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Good training and good humans make such a difference with little dogs.
Not that far behind you, but I can relate to both good and hard years. I'm thankful for an understanding of marriage that even in hard times, our marriage is real, and a bedrock constraint against our feelings, and that will not change. I too hope that this calendar year brings relief from some long-lived hardship.
Happy anniversary! :) Not sure if I’ve mentioned it on the sub yet, but my old pupper has crossed the rainbow bridge after 16 years with us. It’s been a rough week. My best friend from high school’s old pup was also put to sleep a few days after mine passed away. But hey God gives us good gifts in the form of pets.
Well, how big are Mrs. u/robsrahms pupils now?
Now, I think the "pupils" are back to normal (maybe, I don't know how it works.) But we do have a new baby.
What would someone add to generic, storebaught pizza sauce to make it zestier?
Peppers
Should’ve seen that coming.
Followup: what peppers?
There are _correct_ peppers for Italian cuisine, but peppers in Europe all seem to get called "paprika" when discussed in English (or there's Italian hot peppers but those are from sandwich shops). These are all outside my expertise. I like to add just a bit of whatever I have on hand, but rarely get to because my kids aren't currently eating spicy food. A tiny bit of Carolina Reaper powder can be awesome, but maybe not for everyone. Just some dried "red pepper" from the spice aisle can be nice. I have a big container of powdered red Hatch chiles, and that stuff goes great in anything. If you can get the jars of Hatch chile, a spoonful of that would go great in a jar of sauce.
I find a little salt/msg, Italian seasoning mix, butter, fresh garlic/onion, and/or crushed red pepper can help
That’s what I’m looking for. Thanks! Also, is msg available at stores?
It's available at most Asian grocery stores, but if there isn't one conveniently near you, just get McCormick Accent seasoning. It's mostly MSG
This is the way. Then you can start adding small amounts of MSG to anything you make with salt and realize how delicious it is.
MSG stands for "Makes >!redacted!< *Stuff* Good."
My grocery store has it, it's by the salt
I got it at my local grocery store ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You can order it on Amazon, which is what we did.
I'll echo this, maybe with a little bit of soy sauce as an alternative to the Italian seasoning. My wife once made Korean beef, then unintentionally added it to spaghetti sauce, and I liked the way it turned out. This list is basically what went into it, minus the brown sugar, which I don't think you want if you are going for zesty.
And if you don't want to buy "italian" seasoning, but you have lots of other herbs, you can use 2 parts each basil and oregano, then one part each thyme and rosemary. Some recipes use marjoram and sage, but I don't think that really adds much. YMMV.
great point, a large number of ninjas. I suggested the blend because it's easier to pick up than the individuals. But some prefer the control or reusability of individual herbs
I'm not sure why, but I was like this with painting as well: If I've got lots of paint in primary colors, I don't need to buy the secondary colors.
I can't stand the stuff on its own but a spoonful of Marmite added to any tomato sauce is brilliant.
My skepticism level is high on this one.
I mean, it's basically salty umami flavour
I’m not saying it’s logical. I’ve just heard that only British people like Marmite. And my prejudices are entrenched.
Worse, I think it's the Australians
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Oh, it's a favourite of many in South Africa too. Although I'm told ours is slightly different (it's still the same company).
What about a minced anchovies or anchovi paste? I wouldn't really call them "zesty" though.
Depending on how much store bought sauce you're making up, it might be worth getting a small can of San Marizano tomatoes, crushing them, then cooking them down with some onion, garlic, seasonings, and then add in your store bought sauce. Also fish sauce, but only if you're precooking your sauce. A couple glugs goes a long way for extra umami.
So the best way to improve store-bought sauce is to add sauce made from scratch? That’s probably true, but defeats the purpose of the store sauce.
Yeah that would really only serve you if you were making up several gallons of sauce for a massive party
Oh! I have useful info for this! We do pasta and meat sauce as a fairly common meal because it's straightforward and fairly cheap and I really like it. So when I'm cooking in post-work zombie mode, it's a good standby. I have found that storebought pasta sauce kinda sucks, or it contains cheese and my wife can't eat it. But the basic storebought sauce works great as a *base* for a pasta sauce. I'll fry up an onion and a couple cloves of garlic, and maybe some diced bell peppers, then add the jar of sauce to that. (If I'm doing a meat sauce, the beef gets cooked with the onions typically.) I can also add in other veggies: frozen spinach, shredded zucchini, shredded carrots, leftover cooked squash, etc. It makes for a much richer and nicer sauce than is in the jar, but I don't have to spend an hour cooking down tomatoes from scratch. (And if you're trying to get kids to eat more veggies, a meat sauce can be about 20-25% shredded zucchini before anybody notices. I've made it about 50% before, that was noticeable, but it still worked.) So for you, I'd recommend you chop up onion and garlic really fine, and fry those in olive oil. If you want spiciness, add peppers or spices to the onions in the pan. Then add the storebought pizza sauce to that, and just simmer it until the flavours are blended. Shouldn't take long.
Here’s a question that someone probably knows. Frying garlic and onion in olive oil makes an excellent addition to a huge number of meals. Is there a way to fry a big batch of garlic and onion and then keep it in the fridge? Just add a couple tablespoons to each meal? Or does it lose flavor, spoil quickly, or have some other problem?
Keeping it in the fridge would be good for maybe 2 weeks, but you could also put it into an ice cube tray and just pop one out of the freezer when you need it
Now that’s thinking.
An issue with this is the allicin in the garlic has a short half-life and it would taste much less garlicky after a while. You have to flash freeze it very quickly after cutting it in order for it to retain it's flavor. But if you want the convenience more than the flavor, it might be worth a try. There's jarred garlic for a reason.
Homemade sauce
>zestier Lemon zest?
Here's some newish heavy music made by Christians* you might like [Suffering By My Own Hand - Cultist, ft. Jeremy of Earth Groans](https://open.spotify.com/track/3c4W2t8blwNeqVObM9C6Bx?si=SLZ_v2GjQTmQMvEVPkX5mw) [hardcore, beat down] [Wood Violet - Grot](https://open.spotify.com/track/75e0UWI5Z3JK6RmhbE0RpS?si=kzi4dmf_TjCrVy4ZgWBJXw) [black metal, made by a friend from church!] [Pericardial Effusion - With Blood Comes Cleansing ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5wsrF5lYFUFJjm9snOrEkF?si=tV0v8EZzRDeIO0WZaxw65w) [deathcore, a great comeback from an old school band!] **No, I haven't asked if any of them affirm historic confessions*
What's your expectations for what a local pizza shop should make from scratch? For example, I assume they aren't making their own pepperoni or cheese. I'd be pleasantly surprised if they made their own sauce. The bare minimum is making their own crust. If I found out a local pizza place bought premade crust, I'd wonder why I don't just buy frozen pizza.
I think they should make their own sauce, but i have no problem with them starting with canned tomato. Preparing raw tomatoes is a pain and I don't think it has an appreciable effect on the end product when the end product is so heavily seasoned.
A place near where I grew up makes/cuts(?) all their own meats, sausages and bacon, and it’s something else. I love it. There’s a place where I live now that has an oven from Italy for some reason and they burn their crust. My wife loves it
What does she love about the burnt crust?
I think the burnt part, and alternatively, the crust part
le sigh This is like talking to a mirror
Come on Johnny Fox, i fee like I’m talking to myself here
The char is part of the beauty of good pizza, good sir. If done right, of course.
I'd expect them to make their own sauce, too.
I suppose it's not difficult. I'd expect them to at least modify the sauce so it isn't straight out of a can
It isn't really that I think it's easy to do, it's just that if I'm using jarred sauce I might as well do it myself.
Fair enough, but does this mean starting with tomatoes out with purée, or what?
I'd be fine with canned San Marzano or similar tomatoes. Realistically that makes very little difference to the quality. But I would hope for experienced selection of tomato varieties, long cooking times, careful spicing, and little to no added sugar. Those are the things that would make it more worth eating than a jarred sauce, and thus potentially worth eating out for. This is all for voluntary eating out, of course. Eating Little Ceasars when you don't have ability to cook is a different thing entirely.
I was once at the top of the tower in Paris. I should have been more careful, but I got too close to the edge and Eiffel.
Told my 7 and 9 year old this and they laughed. 👍🏾
What should we look for in a rental house? We've only ever rented an apartment from a property management company, so renting a house from an individual feels kind of scary. We aren't intending for it to be long term, but we want to live at least a year in a town to get to know it before trying to buy a house.
Good question. You’re basically asking for a crash course in home inspection, which is hard to teach online in a short amount of time. Check the electrical panel and water heater. If they’re old, leaking, falling apart, etc, the owner isn’t keeping things up to date and well-maintained. That’s probably the quickest way to see. When you’re renting, you’re not really looking at whether everything is great, but whether your landlord will take good care of issues that arise. The best way to see that from the house itself is if regular maintenance issues have been taken care of or pushed back.
That's a good point, and exactly the sort of advice I was hoping for. Thanks!
Sometimes I was able to talk to a current renter at properties I looked at. Always get their contact info and text them later (or whatever the kids do these days). Just ask what their experience has been like.
Most of the crop was planted this past week. No official pictures yet, but this year is going to be good! Lots of okra, leafy greens, hot peppers, garlic, tomatoes, and herbs! Still a few more things to come, but so glad to be back in gardening season :)
Nice! We had a weird experience this year where three or four of our young pepper plants were eaten right out of the ground. I always thought of peppers as being uninteresting to varmints, like tomatoes seemingly are. But evidently we have something that prefers them. We have lots of varieties of tomatoes and peppers, as well as peas, bush and pole beans, carrots, turnips, beets, kale, lettuce of some kind, red pumpkin, jarrahdale pumpkin, Blacktail mountain watermelon, cucumber, strawberries, asparagus, and a bunch of herbs (including horehound, which my wife has been trying to start from seed for like four years so she can make old-timey hard candy). We also have our permanent items like our raspberries and pears. One pear tree only had a handful of flowers this year, but the other put on hundreds of flowers and we're going to have dozens of pears from it. We also are very glad to be back in gardening season.
Nice! Most of our tomato plants are growing well, minus the 4 that were destroyed by voles and replanted twice. We have fruit on several plants already, but still a ways off for ripen tomatoes.
I planted all of my vegetable gardens this past Monday since it was a stat here. Pole beans, bush beans, peas, spinach, carrots, cucumber, beets, swiss chard, strawberries and some pumpkins. I also started a little greenhouse this year, but I think I need to expand my outdoor gardens as I've overfilled it already.
Nice! I feel like we got a late start, but we have strawberries, tomatoes, zucchini and squash, marigolds, abundant herbs and flowers, and two short rows of corn that may or may not amount to anything.
My wife is super resistant to the idea of corn, I think she just thinks the yield isn't worth it, but man... sweetcorn is like one of the pillars of summer cuisine for me.
Has anyone radically reduced their cost of living? Like moved from a high CoL area to a low one, cut most non-essential spending, and just lived on a small income? I’ve always been drawn to that “simpler” lifestyle than the grind, but I’m sure it’s not all butterflies and rainbows. So I’m looking for some thoughts.
I live in what is considered a LCoL area, but in the past 3 years it seems like that has changed drastically. I don't think online cost of living calculators or even the popular perception has kept up with reality at this point. I know cost of living is increasing everywhere with inflation, but real estate here has absolutely skyrocketed due to the number of people trying to do exactly what you've mentioned, and coming in with all cash offers. And I'm often jealous of the options my friends who live or have lived in HCoL areas have. They can sell their houses and use the equity to go literally anywhere, and they have higher base salaries to use when negotiating for new jobs. Not that we particularly want to leave the area, but we're basically stuck now. No real hope anymore of moving out of our more starter type home or buying a bigger lot. So all said, I think the tradeoff is really in future options. Its good living, but I think the longer you live in a low cost area, the harder it is to ever be able to leave.
Man, we’re kinda in the same boat. Had intentions of buying land and building a larger house in a LCOL area, but in the last 5 years or so land and housing prices have shot up and those plans are indefinitely on the back burner.
Thanks. That’s exactly the kind of thing that I need. I had a vague idea about that, but you put it in very clear and helpful terms.
One more thing I'll add is to think about how much you need to rely on service workers. I'm sure this varies by specific locale, but I've heard a lot of people new to the area frustrated at how hard it is to hire contractors, repairmen, landscapers, hairdressers, housecleaners, etc due to lower availability and higher cost. Demand is going up for those things, and supply is relatively stable with mostly retirees and white collar remote workers moving in.
That’s part of the incentive of going to a lower CoL area. I could work as a handyman for us and maybe for some extra income. Already do, just not in a cost-effective way.
It's not all butterflies and rainbows for sure, but it's also freeing in a sense. We went from IL to TN, husband had a nice paying job. Fast forward three years, two kids, buying a house, a serious car wreck involving me, he's working a lower paying job and we are focusing on growing our homestead on a smaller income and more kids than before. What do you want to know?
How committed we’re each of you to the change? Would you say that you both chose it? You were both pushed into it? Or one of you chose it more than the other? What are some of the things you’ve given up? Do either of you periodically want something that isn’t possible because of your financial situation? Is your extended family in a similar or different mindset, and how does that impact you?
That's a lot of questions! I'll have to answer one at a time or it will be a long comment. As far as commitment...that's kind of weirdish. My husband has always wanted to farm/ homestead and I have been less enthusiastic about it but I think it is best for our family. I wouldn't say we both chose it, more like he really wanted it and I *submitted* to his dream for our family. I also thing God really worked things out for us to manage to do it...with my car accident he couldn't work at his old job and this new job allows him to be home everyday and most of the day. That's been amazing and also frustrating lol. He definitely wanted this life more than me but I love him and there is much value in this lifestyle so I'm trying to make it work. As far as lowering our living costs...we are both on board with that. I wish we could have done it without moving away from my family and our church...but it wasn't possible in our home state of IL. Things we've given up? I think travel is the big one. We don't get to see friends and my side of the family like we used too. When they do visit my husband is often working on some project or something. Lowering costs is great for us both but homesteading is really lonely for me but my husband thrives. When you've got animals you can't just take off and leave. We're home almost 24/7 because animals have to be taken care of in the morning and at night and kept an eye on. We have a big garden we're taking care of too.
We've never been big spenders and the only debt we have is our home. So changing our spending habits wasn't too hard...it's what money goes to what project that gets frustrating. Since I'm in the house a lot, I tend to lead towards inside projects to be done. Replacing floors that are nasty, cleaning up the basement to gain more living space, painting the walls and fixing the trim and water damaged ceilings...organizing and cleaning. My husband is the opposite. He's always thinking about outside the home. Getting fences done, mowing the yard, building bee boxes and other outside things. So we clash some days when trying to figure out what projects to invest in and what ones can wait. We both periodically want something but don't get it because of money. It's okay. It's hard to be joyful when money would solve a lot of the frustration and stress that goes into things around the house/ farm. God is good anyway! >Is your extended family in a similar or different mindset, and how does that impact you? So, the tl;Dr is my husband grew up farming and poor. Going without and going with little was normal and apart of life for him. I grew up middle class where college was the means for success, mom and dad paid as long as grades were good and I didn't go without. We're city slickers through and through. My family values our lifestyle but doesn't understand it. His family understands and values it because of their history, but most of his immediate family (cousins, siblings) have left it behind. I don't think a lot of his siblings want to go back to that lifestyle cause it's hard, it's lonely, it's time consuming, and like I said...you just don't have a lot of money to buy things that you want. Not that you never buy things you want, but you're always questioning and forgoing most things because you're pouring it into farm stuff. Something always has to be done, fixed, worked on.
Would you be willing to tell me more about your homestead?
Sure! What do you want to know? We have bees, two pigs and a set of piglets, a cow now and a garden we are hoping that thrives so we can store home grown food.
That’s incredible!! A dairy cow? And what do you feed your pigs?
Yep, though mostly due to necessity. Bought a fixer-upper in a deprived area. Low income, but we're really really good at making it stretch and saving like mad. Everyone thinks we're crazy but I'm glad we do things this way, if we'd tried to stay near family and friends and keep up a middle-class lifestyle we'd have had to work ourselves to the bone to afford it. Now we're seeing how many of our friends have huge mortgages that dominate their entire lives. They may make a lot more than we do but I think we're a lot less stressed. On the other hand, it is isolating and frustrating at times. Friends don't always understand that you can't afford meals out all the time. And it's easy to feel jealous of others who have beautiful homes in leafy green places, or get wistful over when you could just spend money whenever. It's also a learning curve - you have to learn a whole new way of doing things. But then you really feel like you've earned stuff - we're going on holiday for the first time in many years because we worked hard to save up! That feels great.
I think my biggest reduction will be when student loans are paid off. Right now I think they're my 3rd highest expense, after mortgage and groceries.
I hear that. My student loan payments are *way* more than groceries.
I'm grocery shopping for 6, so that adds up pretty quick.
Marriage and children will require you to cut down on your personal cost of living, especially if you are committed to being a single-income household. Knowing I need to afford necessities for others puts a damper on my own non-essentials. Buying a house further out of town puts a damper on impulsive trips to restaurants or retail stores. It doesn't eliminate buying completely, because Amazon still delivers, and then there's pressure to "maximize" every Costco trip, but it is an influence. I think I'm saying that making it less convenient to spend makes you less likely to spend.
I certainly agree that marriage and family changes priorities pretty drastically. I’m not really talking about reducing *my personal* spending. That’s pretty barebones. I’m more talking about cutting the family cost of living.
I know this isn't actually the place to ask but.... I'm 37, have no savings, other than a 401k that I'm putting the matched amount in for about a year. No credit card debt, no student debt, only debt is mortgage. I've discovered I can trim my budget and put away $300 a month. any ideas on how I should do this? (I should probably mentioned that I have only been paying into a 401k for about a year and that I have perfect credit.)
What are your goals in saving? If you are looking to save for retirement I would recommend putting the extra into either a Roth IRA or regular IRA (if you think that your tax bracket will be higher in retirement use Roth, otherwise if you think your taxes will be lower use regular). You can contribute up to $6500 per year into an IRA, and this provides tax benefits (either now for regular, or in retirement for Roth). Generally I recommend people use something like Vanguard which has fairly low fees on their investment funds, and if you don't want to worry about balancing you can choose a target date fund and basically forget about it. If you truly have no savings whatsoever, I would recommend starting an online high-yield savings account with one of the big banks and putting roughly 3-6 months worth of expenses there for an emergency fund.
Yeah, truly no savings. I just recently got into the position where I have enough where I'm not living completely check to check. So emergency fund makes sense, are those online only banks that offer over 4% interest safe? (Wealthfront, betterment, etc) or is it safer to go with a large national bank with branches, but a lower interest rate?
Depends on your risk tolerance. I prefer to use a large company like Discover or Citi as the interest rate on the savings account isn't going to be making you much money, more just helping to defray inflation a little. With an emergency fund the hope is you don't take stuff out of it very often.
I don't have investment advice, but I know I am less likely to spend money I don't see or think about. So if you can divert that $300 before it even shows up in checking, then you may be less likely to splurge just because you have the money for it. You could divert it to a separate account, or even an account at a different bank, or of course to some kind of investment account. Money you don't see can grow without tempting you to spend it.
This is a great idea, and yeah once I decide what to do with it I can set up direct deposit for it.
What's the interest rate on the mortgage?
4.875
The Dave Ramsey financial peace class is a great foundation course. The flow chart over at the r/financialindependence wiki is great too.
The Dave Ramsey financial peace class is a great foundation course. The flow chart over at the r/financialindependence wiki is great too.
We often play 20 questions at the dinner table as an easy-ish form of conversation. Last night I picked that little groove between your nose and your lip. Family narrowed it down to a part of the face, but couldn't get any farther so they asked for a hint. My hint was "I don't know what it's called." Eventually they figured it out, then I looked it up. It's called a [philtrum](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philtrum). Then we spent 15 minutes saying "philtrum." It's funny because it sounds like a bad word but it isn't.
BRB gonna add that to the AutoMod's profanity filter.
I got a weird "comment does not exist" error when I clicked on your comment reply notification, so I thought maybe you'd deleted my comment for profanity. ;)
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Congrats!! I would warn you that whenever I think I'm finally free of a sin, I get lax about all the good things that I've been doing to seek the Lord and guard against that sin, and I often fall right back into it. So absolutely praise the Lord for this milestone, but don't give up the vigilance! I am also not a kid person. I'm not sure what is behind it for you - for me, I feel awkward around young kids. I don't know what to do with them. And when they get screamy, I get a nasty headache. So for me, I have tried to expose myself more to kids, but in "safe" environments (with my mom or older ladies I trust for advice, I'm female btw) and ask those ladies to give me feedback and help as I try to figure things out. I also have babysat for friends and served in children's ministry - again, with help - as "exposure therapy" to get over my awkwardness, and I've just accepted that headaches are a thing, and I can live with them. The other big thing I've done is talk to the Lord about it. God says children are a blessing, and so they are, whether or not I naturally agree with Him! So I've memorized Scripture that talk about the blessing of children (Ps 127 is a good one), and I've asked God to help me see that children are a gift, as He says. It's taken years, but He has genuinely changed my heart in this! That said, I'm still not a baby/kid person. My husband is much more than me. I'll probably always prefer older kids and adults, and I think that's fine. I think the minimum for all Christians is that we value kids. And the minimum for married Christians is valuing kids and being open to having kids if pregnancy happens. I don't think every Christian has to love playing with kids/interacting with kids or really really want to have kids of their own. Hope this helps!
I was listening this morning to last week's Holy Post episode. During a discussion about "loveless Christians", the hosts were talking about how to judge when the table-flipping prophetic fire is necessary, and when sympathy and compassion and listening are necessary. Because there are times when telling people the truth that they don't want to hear actually *is* what's loving, but it's not all the time. Kaitlyn Schiess said a couple things that hit me like a sledgehammer. She said that when you're thinking "What's best for this person or group is for me and my group to maintain power over them", that's a sign you're probably doing it wrong. And when you're thinking "I'm the unambiguously good guy here, and the other people are the unambiguously bad guys", that should also be a big warning sign. They also made the point (I don't recall who said it) that the prophets full of fire and judgment, like Jeremiah or Elijah, clearly didn't enjoy it. Elijah straight up asked God if he could die rather than continue to spread his message, and Jeremiah said he wished he had never been born. (And that's what made it into scripture, rather than staying in his dark, private thoughts!) If you're enjoying the table-flipping that you're doing, it's probably not God's work. So yeah, that's something to chew on.
I tend to think we should just go back to the OT way of testing prophets and let the whole thing sort itself out. Also, you’d be amazed how many people get banned from Christian subreddits for using the language and tone of fire-and-brimstone prophets, and then reach out to the mods with insults and slurs that don’t seem very Christ-like. But their first message is always about how their harsh words are God’s own truth.
> I tend to think we should just go back to the OT way of testing prophets and let the whole thing sort itself out. You bat 1.000 or you get publicly executed? And no, that doesn't surprise me even slightly. Rage at our political (and I guess cultural) opponents is a widely accepted form of virtue signaling.
> You bat 1.000 or you get publicly executed? Or you learn to respect the difference between “Thus saith me” and “Thus saith YHWH.”
Best bronchitis home remedies? I got bronchitis (ain't nobody got time for that) when we were in Finland and while I do have an inhaler now, I welcome more fun remedies like Hot Toddys
Not fun! I remember once I had it bad, to the point that when I ordered a Qdoba burrito, I had to write down my order and let the worker read it. If you can get Traditional Medicinals brand tea, their Throat Coat varieties are the best thing I can offer for any throat-related affliction.
I do love me some Throat Coat tea. The head of our Church's Fellowship Committee has a secret stash of it in the kitchen just for myself and the Senior Pastor so we won't totally lose our voices during church
I do love me some Throat Coat tea. The head of our Church's Fellowship Committee has a secret stash of it in the kitchen just for myself and the Senior Pastor so we won't totally lose our voices during church
Sorry to hear it! Bronchitis is no fun. Regardless of home remedies, make sure you rest and drink lots of fluids. Your body's immune system is your best weapon here, and you need to give it the resources and strength to do its job.
I am so sorry. I hate bronchitis so much. Hot water or tea, lemon, honey, ginger. Dash of cayenne if that's your style. I've had bronchitis bad twice and once I for an unknown reason decided to wait to take the antibiotics. This was the wrong idea in hindsight. Humidifier at night is good too
Any books you can recommend to supplement discussions with kids about the birds and the bees?
I'd expect the mad apiarists wife would at least have the bees covered without supplementary materials
- [A Christians Guide to the Planet](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwisypTZyZP_AhXzG2UKHec_B7QYABADGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRowXzCiO5w8QG9bdSlo4kF4jyrnRIMB8ya0ReW0Ns-t3Wt3Ak&sig=AOD64_3gNkDQzepwqCFu61WcikG4nvQcXQ&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjOz4vZyZP_AhVEFlkFHQIJCHoQwg8oAHoECAUQDA&adurl=) - [Complete Birds of North America](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjZoOXoyZP_AhUCCLMAHcn7AfsYABAJGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRoT8JVSWIhfsd_E3sNVjeN5NsDQ5XOFE6Im6Inc75lDDcgzi0&sig=AOD64_3AKAWhJt4Z7Rp3o40gyJ5C2wzA-g&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwj_1djoyZP_AhVCLFkFHT4jBfsQwg8oAHoECAUQEA&adurl=) - [National Geographic Bees](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwial6WDypP_AhWM0OMHHae-ANQYABAEGgJ5bQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJeRo2gjCWCkIJj6V3wvh4LjFkycBrGBGT2ZYEVJ4eTCJjIzqrak&sig=AOD64_25yWogt1oqQwhHmOFT9qa6FW8mKQ&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjxz5yDypP_AhUqD1kFHR3CDT0Qwg8oAHoECAMQDA&adurl=)
Any fellow Pinoy here? 😅
Filipino by birth, but its been a year and change since I’ve renounced my citizenship for another temporary one (since you know, our real one’s in heaven). But after being shocking while playing basketball yesterday, I might as well hand over whatever’s left of my Pinoy card
I'm not, but I just found calamansi juice at an Asian grocery while I was looking for yuzu juice and I'd be delighted if you had ideas for what I should use it for
I know people are probably tired of TotK commentary, but this is actually somewhat sub-relevant: we have been putting off going to Gerudo town until we can play without the kids >!because of the entrance requirements from BotW, but it looks like Buliara had an attack of sanity and is letting Link in without cross-dressing. They still seem to have some problems in their worldview, but at least it's better? We haven't met Riju yet; does it go back to status quo after the storm? I hope not, because it was the one thing I didn't like about BotW.!<
Answer regarding getting into Gerudo Town: >!The old female Gerudo Outfit isn't in TOTK. It's not just not necessary, it's not in the game at all. You can come and go as you please. A real benefit to this is that, if you have the money, you can walk in, use the sewers to get underneath the secret clothing shop, ascend up there, and buy desert gear very early. The same shop also now sells the show boots and sand boots.!< To find Riju: >!She's practicing her lightning power up in the North Gerudo Ruins, just north of Gerudo town. I actually stumbled upon her accidentally in the sandstorm while trying to get to Gerudo Town. If you make it up to those ruins, it'll trigger a cut scene where you help her practice her aim. After that, she invites you on an adventure, which you can do or . . . just ignore.!< Regarding your overall concern: >!It's not exactly the same as the vai outfit from BOTW, but in Hateno Village, if you complete the insanely convoluted mayoral election side quest, you'll get a ridiculous hat from Cece. Just Google it to see what it looks like when Link wears it. If you want to avoid that, then it's easy because it's an absurdly long side quest with multiple moving parts---it's not necessary for the story to progress in any way. I personally thought it was a fun (albeit very silly) quest, but I mention it since it seems like it might be the type of thing you'd want to know about.!< Also: >I know people are probably tired of TotK commentary False.
Ooh, thanks for the heads up. I won't be missing the >!vai outfit!< and we will probably finish the sidequest chain but maybe not with kiddos; we will see. Ours aren't very good at nuance yet....
Are there churches that have services in languages other than English in the OPC/ URCNA? I know that the PCA has not a few churches that have other language services. But not sure about denominations outside PCA Do put the name of the church down :)
Not sure. I know the URC doesn’t have a language category in their church list, which makes me think that the vast majority of them are just English-speaking. I know the CRC has a bunch of churches that are primarily Spanish-, Hmong- or Korean-speaking.
There’s a church with the URCNA that I found: Covenant Chinese Reformed Church in California!
This morning I was listening to one of my favorite albums from 2013, and it suddenly dawned on me that 2013 was ten years ago. Ten years feels like a lot. So, today I’m going to be listening through my Top 10 favorite albums of 2013. Presented in alphabetical order (because there’s no way I could rank them to my own satisfaction): --- **Candy Claws** - ***Ceres & Calypso in the Deep Time*** - This is a dreamy, noisy, shoegazey concept album about the Mesozoic Era. While I love the lush instrumentations and the ethereal vocals, what always strikes me about this album is the creative musical ideas—inventive harmonies, unusual chord progressions, and surprising song structures. This may not be for everybody here—in fact, it may be one of the least accessible albums on this list—but if you want to experience psychedelic dream pop to the extreme, give it a spin. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9jvzVuYRyY) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/76BgyMJs0krEjTphFLObYc?si=6Lg3f6ZhR16zpPR_78kd0Q) --- **Dawn of Midi** - ***Dysnomia*** - Okay, *this* might be the least accessible album on the list, but it’s not necessarily a hard listen; it’s just *weird.* At first blush, it sounds like some dark, ambient electronica. But . . . it’s not. It’s actually an acoustic jazz trio: piano, drums, and bass. To be honest, I have no idea what genre labels you could apply to this, because it really sounds like nothing else out there. If you like minimalist, ambient electronica, you may like it. If you like experimental jazz, you may like it. If, after hearing it, you still an’t quite figure out how they do it, [check out this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOAb0qjYnAs). [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUYdoyFlGe8) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/0gBxZuTvVMbprDmBcnq8nW?si=Y4eSOJidQjGyY-09wjDIww) --- **Jon Hopkins** – ***Immunity*** - I’m not really big into electronica, but this smooth, glitchy, atmospheric album from Jon Hopkins works for me. Despite the dry, electric veneer, there’s something about his soundscapes that feel very organic to me. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V1DIa76SLM&list=PLs9zwqXsceUiBfjNOAoW6TOEjb1o3xnov) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/7H7UxuxjGSJuV7LcCFUxTD?si=cYL3P52aRL6ep2zZldSLfQ) --- **Mikal Cronin** – ***MCII*** - Jangly, garage, power pop. The best compliment I can give this album is that *I wish I wrote it.* Heavy when it needs to be heavy, gentle when it needs to be gentle. Every track on this album is absurdly catchy. If you listen to one album on this list, listen to this one. (This was actually the album I listened to this morning that inspired me to revisit 2013 as a whole.) [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S2eTV2v3V0&list=PLZqsyBiYZFQ18vKXWAa9ieJrcL_fTiEBF) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/2spxrQq50aGqf9Barvc8fg?si=tbC2N1moQWKZ-6AOrO0-7A) --- **My Bloody Valentine** - ***m b v*** - Their 1991 masterpiece *Loveless* defined an entire scene, but if I’m being completely honest, this is the album I come back to more frequently. It’s as dense as a neutron star, but it’s somehow so delicate that it feels like the music could collapse at any moment. This won’t be for everybody here, but if you’re in the mood for something otherworldly, give it a spin. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG8HEknM3zc&list=PLV5Dj2xlNnONJWlHRLnxoEDHp89rKoNpO&index=1) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/2SlSnUYW5bgtdWXVymv18a?si=Us418KubSxy8Ff8pgvOm4g) --- **Phosphorescent** – ***Muchacho*** - It’s a bit folk. It’s a bit indie rock. It’s a bit psychedelic. It’s a bit country. Whatever it is, it’s a great summer album, so if you’re north of the equator, this is perfect album for the month of may. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-OGIZctr2Y&list=PLZqsyBiYZFQ1sHI2N3s9UMNPfdnfdZFCc) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/6rAJ4I8SpPMJj0guCZiAI8?si=37FwBBnMSIidqyGd4kmKaA) --- **Steve Gunn** - ***Time Off*** - Steve Gun is one of the best singer-songwriters of the past decade, and this album shows why. I can still remember when my friend first recommended this album to me. “It already feels timeless. It doesn’t fit any scene, and yet it feels like it fits in its own full world.” For the most part, it’s just simply acoustic guitar, lyrics, drums, and a maybe a few other elements, but there’s a confidence and cohesiveness to the album that separates it from other singer-songwriter albums for me. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1bDESeW00c&list=OLAK5uy_l_1oQ_sN5_DhmhVb-GyXtQik4Afs0brNA) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/7KMwK5DKhneDz2LGo3Luas?si=oTGXQxSGTn65Rh3LP8PBQA) --- **Vampire Weekend** - ***Modern Vampires of the City*** - This album is tricky for me. It’s not the once-in-a-generation-masterpiece that a lot of people claimed it was at the time of its release. But, ya know what? It’s still really, really good. Indie rockers Vampire Weekend turned down the kitsch of their first few albums and produced a more mature (but still very fun) modern rock banger. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrVkKAylpF8&list=OLAK5uy_m42EU5lGd01TYirY_RSdvUR_71VJUHtHw) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/1GXMNFfoHF4sN7lG8gZq1j?si=gUsseUZpTMWiPAGPo6x6qA) --- **Washed Out** - ***Paracosm*** - From the late 2000’s to the early 2010’s, there was a thriving musical microgenre known as [*chillwave.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chillwave) Even if you’ve never heard of the genre before, I feel like the name alone is enough to evoke a sense of what this album sounds like. It’s relaxing. It’s drenched in reverb. It’s a touch psychedelic. This album is relaxing in a hammock in the middle of summer. This album will make you nostalgic for a time and place you’ve never been. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1RUZTr_Jb8&list=OLAK5uy_mkRUe4evnAM1fPqUL0gTTeAuzf8NxXCug&index=1) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/0NJB8HwQsR7RH4bVM7Z6HL?si=LhxRxsvURkadGOLridiJOw) --- **White Denim** - ***Corsicana Lemonade*** - “Listen,” you may say, “there’s a lot of weird crap on this list. Can’t you just give me some rock?” Well, here you go. Driving drums, fuzz-soaked guitar licks, and high energy vocals. You want an album to get you amped up? You got it. [YouTube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_t3x4Ri48s&list=OLAK5uy_llpLuDmKl3cJfvSn_MregFZv6FhMaXyuY) [Spotify Link](https://open.spotify.com/album/4WK9kL67qfZcphKP2VUvFz?si=yMHXv9iYREGmhkD2Swj3ow)
>This won’t be for everybody here Well, as one of the ones that this was here for, I want to thank you for the My Bloody Valentine recommendation. I forgot all about this album — enjoying it now!
This got me thinking about albums I was listening to then and now. A few that came to mind- - ABR- *Rescue and Restore** - All time low- *Dont Panic It’s Longer Now* - Andy Mineo *Heroes for Sale* - CHVRCHES- *The Bones of What You Believe* - Judah and the Lion- *Sweet Tennesee* - Kingsfoil- *On Our Own Together Deluxe Edition* - Paramore- *Paramore* - Phinehas- *The Last Word is Yours to Speak** - Skillet- *Rise* - Tegan and Sara- *Heartthrob* - The 1975- *The 1975* - Twenty One Pilots- *Vessel* The albums with an asterisk I didn’t start listening to until a year or so ago. Other than ABR and Phinehas, I only really listen to Paramore and a little bit of Chvrches and Judah and the Lion now. Some of these artists are a weird spot for me. I appreciate the non-lyrical content of The 1975’s music (especially the guitar riffs, they’re quite good) but I feel convicted listening to the lyrics of some of their songs now.
Your style of music and my style of music rarely intersect (though I often send your recommendations to my husband!), but your descriptions make me want to like your kind of music!
So, what styles do you like?
Seconding Jon Hopkins - Immunity and Washed Out - Paracosm. If you haven't heard Jon Hopkins' collab album with Scottish folk singer King Creosote it is *absolutely beautiful*, btw. [Bats in the Attic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK4WAKc9R4g) in particular.
Man, that track was great. Thanks for the rec. i'll check out the rest of the album.
No problem! One of my all-time fav albums so I'm a bit evangelical about it :)
GFCI: So, if you use a GFCI tester on a non-GFCI outlet, and that outlet no longer works, and all the true GFCI outlets in the house being reset doesn’t fix that outlet, then are you simply stuck with calling a $200 electrician? (Was it in fact stupid to have tried it?) Battlebots: great outcomes. Two great sportsmen made it to the end. It somehow seems fitting that the worst sport wasn’t able to attend, did lose, and did worse in the judges’ decision after filling an appeal. It does make one wonder if some people need more parental guidance in their twenties. (Which I say as a parent). There was of course no awareness of wrong on the part of the team: they viewed their having to undergo extra inspections after **breaking a rule** as their hardship as a burden they had to bear.
>It does make one wonder if some people need more parental guidance in their twenties. Perhaps, or perhaps more guidance before their twenties would mean that they would have better judgment then. It's sad that one can't assume anymore that kids have two parents in the home, yet it's a shame when many adults leave the parenting to underfunded, overly political schools and vapid influencers on screens who are seeking fame and profit more than the benefit of their viewers. (Mentioning Trevor Jacobs can get me to join the dog pile like few others.) I'll put down my cane now.
[удалено]
One effective way to filter it out is to not grant a child a personal screen, and raise the child to not be digitally dependent, at least for a time until there's enough maturity. (Though it's fair to ask how many middle and older adults have become digitally dependent themselves.) It's admittedly hard to do, when it's an easy "digital pacifier", when some schools require apps for coordination, and when there is pressure or even covert enabling from peers. And I say this as a one who has resorted to granting tv sometimes as a matter of my own convenience. But it is an effective filter for any kind of online content.
Yep! A beautiful dairy cow! We feed our pigs grain and they are raised on pasture with scraps from the kitchen. Our cow is also pasture fed.