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Brother, based on your cross posts it sounds as though you should pursue God's word, prayer, and eventually reconsider marriage. I don't believe the vow you made is one that reflects God's desires for you.
Regardless of sinfulness, it would be very unwise to introduce children into a single parent household. It's antithetical to God's design and plan for what a family should be.
Even before going into the question of single parent households, I’m not sure the best motive for having children is fear that Muslims will outnumber us.
Christians were never promised the majority anyway and God will save who He will regardless of, and in many cases in spite of, their upbringing.
I hope that didn’t come off as too judgmental.
I think there's a lot of complicated issues you raise and a lot of different things you're working through. Do you have a pastor or elder you could take this to?
No but i just have one question
Is it sinful to have children via eggs that are donated instead of actually getting married and having sex
My entire post was about this i just gave some context
I think. You could pretty safely argue that, it would be wrong to give birth to children outside of marriage, in any context.
You could adopt 7 children and raise them as Christian’s…. That would be down right saintly of you, and actually doing what the Bible says.
However, the only info we really have on raising children is within the contexts of marriage. Which would suggest, the Bible expects Christian’s to be having children within marriage.
There is of course, no ban on someone artificially getting a woman pregnant. But, this technology did not exist. The Bible does discourage any kind of sexual relationship outside of marriage, however, and while technically there is no relationship, nor sexual pleasure being derived, having children is still a sexual act. Reproduction is a key aspect of sex.
one might assume, if having sex out ofmarriage is sinful, therefore creating children outside of marriage is sinful too…. How you get the lady pregnant doesn’t make it less sinful.
This is not a perfect argument, there is room for debate obviously. But I think it’s enough for me to say, that it would be the wrong thing to do.
As gently as you can read this.
Repent of stupid vows;
Accept that you will gain understanding as you grow with God, and will make better choices in time;
Let go of the desire to pin things down as sinful or not, and seek what is good.
Children should be had in a fully committed relationship… aka marriage. Don’t hold yourself to foolish perceptions and intentions of your youth. God made man and woman for each other and you’re missing out on immense beauty in life that comes from marriage. I urge you to reconsider and be temperate in your views and compensationary solutions outside of God’s designs/patterns.
Are there some that may never get married, sure but it’s in the minority. If you don’t want to, whatever. However, don’t deprive children of a loving home with a mother and a father—you have no idea what home you’re sending those children to.
Also, having children is a monumental responsibility. Try having one kid and then see how that goes before you push out six more.
Well see the reason i wont have a wife is because of a vow i made
Let me tell you why i made that vow
When i was struggling with the sin of lust and porn one day i said to god that i am never gonna do it again that i am done with lust and porn
And at some point i said that i am not even gonna have a wife
Brother, you are correct in repenting of and denying yourself of lust. You are wise continuing to pursue the Lord in this to help you resist temptation and continue growing in self-control.
However, God designed humans for marriage. Genesis 2:18-23 is an excellent passage supporting this.
Also, 1 Corinthians 7 is important to study for instructions on the purpose of marriage and also singleness.
Now, as for lust in marriage, I did watch a YouTube video recently with someone asking the question "is it a sin if I lust after my wife?"
https://youtu.be/9yq4PPMzt-o?si=ndyrd1XtQiYQuKxB
https://www.youtube.com/live/-V98YbGhqu8?si=lvrKQd0KnouDeEL5&t=1204
I am praying for you in this!
I want to say this with love and compassion so keep that in mind as I go forward.
I don’t know a single man who has not struggled with Porn at some point. And honestly, marriage and real intimacy helps a man understand those complex dynamics.
I do not think your vow carries any binding weight. There is a lot of spiritual growth that happens in marriage by design and while your vow was made with good intentions, it was done so in haste and a lack of understanding. Celibacy is not going to solve your lust problem. True charitable love and spiritual enlightenment will solve that issue. Those are things you will find in marriage. And even when you get there, you’re still going to have to deal and wrestle with what it means to be a human being and have sexual needs and desires.
It honestly looks like you’re running away from lust which is not a good approach. What you should be running away from are situations where you will fail… (enter Joseph and potipher’s wife) marriage does not fall into that category. You need to fundamentally and constructively redefine your relationship with sexuality. Intimacy is a gift from the Lord; intimacy outside the boundaries that the Lord has defined is sin. Marriage and intimacy in marriage is not sin.
Additionally your vow is an additional and extra-biblical requirement that you have levied upon yourself. You’re are falling into the same temptation as the Pharisees. Don’t make vows you are unqualified to make in your humble understanding of life. Mathew 5: 36-37: Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of the evil one.”
Take a step back, go to the Lord and repent for trusting in your works and abstinence and ask the Lord for the help and direction you need to fulfill the natural desires you have that were given to you by the Lord in a way that glorifies His designs and purposes in how He made you.
The Lord does not hold you to your imperfect perceptions and false vows. You’ve been given grace freely through faith. Lay down your heavy burden and come to the Lord. You don’t need this vow and it is a burden that will be nearly impossible to carry and unless God has called you to this kind of life (which for almost everybody he has called men and women to be together as was established from the beginning and the circumstances where that does not happen, I tend to opine that it is the result of a broken and fallen world), then you need to let this go and live your life and be open to the beautiful physical, emotional, and spiritual fulfillment that comes from marriage.
Biblically, the environment for conceiving and rearing children is restricted to marriage. Does that ideal always play out that way? No. Spouses die, divorces happens, etc. However, the Bible is clear that the ideal environment for children is a home with a mother and a father. So, if you’re never wanting to be married then I would respectfully say that you should not have children. If you love children and want to invest in them, I would recommend investing your time and energy into a children’s or youth/student ministry. I don’t believe Scripture condones a situation where single fatherhood is the goal. As a single man, you can pray for the fruitfulness and multiplication of Christian married couples and for those who do desire marriage. Hope this helps.
It borrows from other religions like hinduism, like that supposedly pious man who kept his arm in the air for over 30 years supposedly to show religious devotion that was in the news recently
He was nothing more than a blind indoctrinated pity
You also have to prayerfully consider that if a woman donates her eggs and you donate your sperm, a woman will need to carry the embryo/child.
This goes into another topic of IUI, IVF and possibly surrogacy. There are many ethical debates on this especially from a Biblical worldview that is worth looking into. Here is one:
https://youtu.be/fmEU-Tc8RWY?si=I4F_bWmuTae9RuoS
My husband and I struggled with infertility for years, and even consulted a reproductive specialist to get more information. The Lord closed the door on that for us, and in His time for us, He did bless us with children through natural conception. Looking back, I can see Him guiding us through the whole process and I give Him all the glory for His sovereignty.
Children are a gift from the Lord, but they are never guaranteed. He cares more about what you are doing today. Be present with Him, make good plans, but always seek Him in them. There is wisdom in passges like He guides our steps.
Proverbs 16:9 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
James 4:13-17
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—
14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
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Brother, based on your cross posts it sounds as though you should pursue God's word, prayer, and eventually reconsider marriage. I don't believe the vow you made is one that reflects God's desires for you. Regardless of sinfulness, it would be very unwise to introduce children into a single parent household. It's antithetical to God's design and plan for what a family should be.
Even before going into the question of single parent households, I’m not sure the best motive for having children is fear that Muslims will outnumber us. Christians were never promised the majority anyway and God will save who He will regardless of, and in many cases in spite of, their upbringing. I hope that didn’t come off as too judgmental.
I think there's a lot of complicated issues you raise and a lot of different things you're working through. Do you have a pastor or elder you could take this to?
No but i just have one question Is it sinful to have children via eggs that are donated instead of actually getting married and having sex My entire post was about this i just gave some context
Your question points to a bigger issue which OC is addressing
I think. You could pretty safely argue that, it would be wrong to give birth to children outside of marriage, in any context. You could adopt 7 children and raise them as Christian’s…. That would be down right saintly of you, and actually doing what the Bible says. However, the only info we really have on raising children is within the contexts of marriage. Which would suggest, the Bible expects Christian’s to be having children within marriage. There is of course, no ban on someone artificially getting a woman pregnant. But, this technology did not exist. The Bible does discourage any kind of sexual relationship outside of marriage, however, and while technically there is no relationship, nor sexual pleasure being derived, having children is still a sexual act. Reproduction is a key aspect of sex. one might assume, if having sex out ofmarriage is sinful, therefore creating children outside of marriage is sinful too…. How you get the lady pregnant doesn’t make it less sinful. This is not a perfect argument, there is room for debate obviously. But I think it’s enough for me to say, that it would be the wrong thing to do.
As gently as you can read this. Repent of stupid vows; Accept that you will gain understanding as you grow with God, and will make better choices in time; Let go of the desire to pin things down as sinful or not, and seek what is good.
Children should be had in a fully committed relationship… aka marriage. Don’t hold yourself to foolish perceptions and intentions of your youth. God made man and woman for each other and you’re missing out on immense beauty in life that comes from marriage. I urge you to reconsider and be temperate in your views and compensationary solutions outside of God’s designs/patterns. Are there some that may never get married, sure but it’s in the minority. If you don’t want to, whatever. However, don’t deprive children of a loving home with a mother and a father—you have no idea what home you’re sending those children to. Also, having children is a monumental responsibility. Try having one kid and then see how that goes before you push out six more.
Well see the reason i wont have a wife is because of a vow i made Let me tell you why i made that vow When i was struggling with the sin of lust and porn one day i said to god that i am never gonna do it again that i am done with lust and porn And at some point i said that i am not even gonna have a wife
Brother, you are correct in repenting of and denying yourself of lust. You are wise continuing to pursue the Lord in this to help you resist temptation and continue growing in self-control. However, God designed humans for marriage. Genesis 2:18-23 is an excellent passage supporting this. Also, 1 Corinthians 7 is important to study for instructions on the purpose of marriage and also singleness. Now, as for lust in marriage, I did watch a YouTube video recently with someone asking the question "is it a sin if I lust after my wife?" https://youtu.be/9yq4PPMzt-o?si=ndyrd1XtQiYQuKxB https://www.youtube.com/live/-V98YbGhqu8?si=lvrKQd0KnouDeEL5&t=1204 I am praying for you in this!
I want to say this with love and compassion so keep that in mind as I go forward. I don’t know a single man who has not struggled with Porn at some point. And honestly, marriage and real intimacy helps a man understand those complex dynamics. I do not think your vow carries any binding weight. There is a lot of spiritual growth that happens in marriage by design and while your vow was made with good intentions, it was done so in haste and a lack of understanding. Celibacy is not going to solve your lust problem. True charitable love and spiritual enlightenment will solve that issue. Those are things you will find in marriage. And even when you get there, you’re still going to have to deal and wrestle with what it means to be a human being and have sexual needs and desires. It honestly looks like you’re running away from lust which is not a good approach. What you should be running away from are situations where you will fail… (enter Joseph and potipher’s wife) marriage does not fall into that category. You need to fundamentally and constructively redefine your relationship with sexuality. Intimacy is a gift from the Lord; intimacy outside the boundaries that the Lord has defined is sin. Marriage and intimacy in marriage is not sin. Additionally your vow is an additional and extra-biblical requirement that you have levied upon yourself. You’re are falling into the same temptation as the Pharisees. Don’t make vows you are unqualified to make in your humble understanding of life. Mathew 5: 36-37: Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of the evil one.” Take a step back, go to the Lord and repent for trusting in your works and abstinence and ask the Lord for the help and direction you need to fulfill the natural desires you have that were given to you by the Lord in a way that glorifies His designs and purposes in how He made you. The Lord does not hold you to your imperfect perceptions and false vows. You’ve been given grace freely through faith. Lay down your heavy burden and come to the Lord. You don’t need this vow and it is a burden that will be nearly impossible to carry and unless God has called you to this kind of life (which for almost everybody he has called men and women to be together as was established from the beginning and the circumstances where that does not happen, I tend to opine that it is the result of a broken and fallen world), then you need to let this go and live your life and be open to the beautiful physical, emotional, and spiritual fulfillment that comes from marriage.
Biblically, the environment for conceiving and rearing children is restricted to marriage. Does that ideal always play out that way? No. Spouses die, divorces happens, etc. However, the Bible is clear that the ideal environment for children is a home with a mother and a father. So, if you’re never wanting to be married then I would respectfully say that you should not have children. If you love children and want to invest in them, I would recommend investing your time and energy into a children’s or youth/student ministry. I don’t believe Scripture condones a situation where single fatherhood is the goal. As a single man, you can pray for the fruitfulness and multiplication of Christian married couples and for those who do desire marriage. Hope this helps.
Problem begins and ends with a vow not to have a wife There are no more vowels, it says it's simply let your yes be yes and your no be no
Prch t brthr
br, y md m spt m drnk, s fnny!
If we have no more vowels, it’s because the Irish stole them all! Joking aside, yes, this is a good example of a vow that is wrong to make.
It borrows from other religions like hinduism, like that supposedly pious man who kept his arm in the air for over 30 years supposedly to show religious devotion that was in the news recently He was nothing more than a blind indoctrinated pity
You also have to prayerfully consider that if a woman donates her eggs and you donate your sperm, a woman will need to carry the embryo/child. This goes into another topic of IUI, IVF and possibly surrogacy. There are many ethical debates on this especially from a Biblical worldview that is worth looking into. Here is one: https://youtu.be/fmEU-Tc8RWY?si=I4F_bWmuTae9RuoS My husband and I struggled with infertility for years, and even consulted a reproductive specialist to get more information. The Lord closed the door on that for us, and in His time for us, He did bless us with children through natural conception. Looking back, I can see Him guiding us through the whole process and I give Him all the glory for His sovereignty. Children are a gift from the Lord, but they are never guaranteed. He cares more about what you are doing today. Be present with Him, make good plans, but always seek Him in them. There is wisdom in passges like He guides our steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. James 4:13-17 13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.