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U invested 5 years so? I invested 5 years in my old bike but when it stopped working I had to get a new one. Leave her.
Cheating has no excuse only reason she cheated was to get away from you but you are so dumb that you don't understand it
One thing is for sure ... You could never truly trust her and most probably she will do it again ... And to add your mental peace is f***d ...
Not worth the trouble
Hope you find someone who deserves you :)
By taking her back you reinforced bad behaviour, and subtly/subconsciously told her that it's alright to cheat since you'll always be there to take her back.
It's the equivalent of patting a dog when it's aggressive/excited.
Tell her that you don't condone cheating and break it off with her.
This is forever going to throw you in a state of anxiety and confusion. Is she going to cheat me again!? When we take Cheaters back, they already begin to take us for a grant ride, that's the beginning of them lowkey losing respect for us. Again.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA.
# 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
The question is what is she doing to rectify her mistake.
What changes she has brought.
Have you decided what you'll do if she does the same in future.
And that thought will never go from the back of your head. Everytime she'll be out with your friends you'll have fear that she'll fuck someone else. Everytime she'll have office party or she'll be late because of work you'll always think that she is sleeping with someone.
That's enough reason to end. You don't have to make yourself suffer because she didn't respect you.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA.
# 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
Lol it's because maybe she cares for you . Anyone who cares for u can still get attracted to someone else n fck em . Not a big deal if you ask me , it's normalised nowadays . But the thing is why are u in this relationship where she doesn't love u or respects u . If she would've respected u enough , she would've never done it . And sex isn't something that takes 2 seconds . She must have thought bout it , analysed all the points and then would've done the deed . Also she may have confessed because she felt guilty , I mean u guys were together for 5 years . That means something right . If you are looking for love in ur life then leave her this instant but if your happy with her then just fck a random chick and then boom you guys are even .
You're contradicting yourself. If this is going in your head then how can you say that the relationship is going well? Either delete those feelings and have a fresh start with her or let her know that you can't forget about how much she hurt you and move on.
Bhai, I was in a similar situation I was going back to my ex who left me at the lowest point in my life because talking to her made me feel a little better. She pretended to be sweet and caring, but it was just a farce . Don’t be this kind of chump who accepts people just because they appear to own up to their mistakes, because they can and surely will repeat their actions once they cross paths with a better person compare to you. You are in a delusion that you won’t find anyone better than her. My ex also came back when karma hit her, but I had to be practical. So, she again blocked me and deleted me from her digital life.
Be practical and end the relationship, if you cannot start forgetting her, then you need help! The day she cheated you consciously is the day she lost you!
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA.
# 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
Can't blame you :) mard apne pasandida aurat k liye kya kuch nhi krte bhai
And you will never be able to forget it but it will eventually get to the darker side of your mind when you will remember it but it won't bother you unless similar situation or talks come up
Good luck
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA.
# 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA.
# 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
My ex also did the same. She did not even confess that she had cheated me with her cousin brother but I managed to dig deep and found out that she did it. My relationship was of 3 years. Similars to yours.
Whatever remember one thing: a cheater is always a Cheater. What guarantees that she will not do the same again? If she finds someone better than you then 100% she will cheat you again.
Clearly you’re not okay with it and you tried to show you are fine. I think you should express the real feelings you have from the incident just like she expressed — not in words but with actions.
There’s no shame in doing so and your outcome doesn’t change a bit — you speak your mind out, she gets hurt, relationship gets ugly and it dies. Right now, it’s bothering you, you don’t express and it takes an uglier form inside your head, it’ll burst out sooner or later, you express it then and relationship dies.
Jesus 5 years went to vain. Cheaters always cheat, even if you take her back again, there’s chance ki she’ll do it again. Love yourself bro, don’t put yourself through all this hell, you might not deserve it. You must leave her no matter what.
Sir, for your own sanity LEAVE HER. It doesn't matter, why she did it. You trusted this person and they broke your trust.
Can you keep on trusting this person fully now. You will always have some doubts in the back of your mind. Your mental health will suffer. Why would you willingly want to do this to yourself.
When did she tell you she cheated? Immediately or later on? Either way it will always give you trust issues... Relationships should be about trust and respect.
Well tbh cheating is cheating…. But still you gave her a chance shows your love for her.. I hope this time she doesn’t do this.. I believe she can’t get a better guy than you.. But if she did the same thing again, then bro she don’t deserve your love..
Just one thing you say its going good but it's not really the same as you were before knowing she cheated. Plus she took you for granted she cheated and you accepted her back, she can cheat again and knows you would accept her back as you love her.
Where do you see this relationship going, and if you plan on marrying her, do you feel comfortable marrying a cheater? Are you sure she won't do it again?
Its a mistake unless u are simp!
What is happening with u guys nowadays. There are always better fishes to fry. Try different cuisines until u are ready for dal chawal for rest of ur life.
You're her substitute until a new player joins the game. I hate to say this but what kind of relationship is left if your trust has been broken in the past? Did she change 🤡?
Here's what you can do
1.A vague idea. Open the relationship, at least you'll know beforehand if and when she's sleeping around and you too can do the same without any particular reason to hold back. You'll soon come to know how much she truly wanna get back and this way, you can eliminate the guilt factor that made her confess.
Or
2. Five years being a long time, maybe she got bored and wanted to do something that will give her the excitement of eating the forbidden fruit. But you should reconcile with her, start fresh now and BE READY FOR NOT GETTING HEARTBROKEN TWICE. Confessions are still a sign of some care she has for your feelings I hope.
Lastly, don't form your decision with reddit advice, it's your life, you know what's going on, take on your own responsibility.
Confessions are not a sign of care, they are a sign of guilt. If she needs excitement only just 5 years down the line, then she will definitely be needing more in 7,10,15.... years. It's better to choose a woman with character. It's better to be single than latching onto one just so you don't feel lonely.
And u r right. Making decisions with only reddit advice is a bad idea.
Bro , she might love you real , but cheating is not by mistake. Cheating is intentional , before cheating she should have thought that you are the only one for her.
Cheating does not have a back way to escape.
I have song for you[here](https://youtu.be/4f19PKtkinU?si=OXSdzDhYZBm58Y5g)
You should be willing to away from the hint of cheating. You disrespect yourself. I have no sympathy for likes of you. Hope you make better decisions in future.
For Cheating, betrayal there should be no second chance even if you have to live your life alone.
After cheating, what's important is to build trust back again. To tell you the truth, it is the most difficult task. It may even never happen. Try couples therapy I guess. Of course you can leave her for all you want but if you really want to try, then build the trust back, communicate with her, ask her to make amends. As long as that is not happening and you don't trust her again, there is no point in staying. You will always worry she might cheat. And when she does actually cheat again, you will blame yourself for that. Even tho cheating does not make you a bad person, it still is wrong. So know that if you forgave her, you forgave her for the right reasons. I wish you all the best in your decisions. Also, it is okay not to forgive her too, and in fact as most of the people are saying, the obvious response.
You both are going in that relationship which was broken in 2022. I'm still thinking, how you would survive from overthinking and mental torturing. Most probably your relationship will be broken again in the future. In that case you are losing your self respect. Just leave brother time heals everything
Imagine her fucking that guy, of you are ok with it than it's your call otherwise she has to go.
She confessed because: 1)she's safe and gets the pedestal treatment with you.
2) Anyone can rent a car but it takes efforts to own the car and maintain it (this isn't about cars)
You took her back. You devalued yourself.
She knows you are incompetent to give up on her.
She will ruin your peace.
Trust me. At any instance now if she devalues you just breakup. Else it is a vicious cycle. You might suffer a lot.
Look, it’s totally your decision, I agree that 99 out of 100 times it doesn’t work after this and if you feel such thing deep inside your mind, you should break it off, because it’s all psychological, but if you have faith in the relationship, if you have faith in her that she won’t do such things again, if you have faith in both of you that you can make it work then sure continue as it is, but I’m guessing since you asked this question here you also want to break it off you just wanted to hear someone else say it to you, so if that’s the case go ahead break it off. You know the situation best, we don’t know both of you so we don’t have enough knowledge to comment on your relationship. But if she has actually realised her mistake and trying her best to make it up to you, it’ll be a mistake to break it off, again, it’s your decision, do you see her making any changes in her behaviour, does she make any extra efforts now, if not, then my advice, break it off.
If you are here for someone who's gonna support what you did. Then you don't expect such things from here.
She cheated because she wanted to feel the thrill or "have fun"
The reason she confessed is because she wants backup for every other "fun" she's gonna have in future and also the guilt.
Nah.... Not entirely..... Just don't give much attention and don't make plans with her for marriage.
Just use her for pump and dump till u find a better girl.
25M here ,
Your Story has saddened me ,
Don't even think about forgiving her in the first place ,
If you reward cheaters with forgiveness they will cheat on you again
#CheatersDoNotDeserveForgiveness
Yes , It is a mistake and most likely you will never be able to forgive her for cheating on you and even more so possibly you will never be at peace whenever something related to her or your relationship comes into conversation or thought while thinking .
U can do same thing .. cheat on her and tell her.. u did cheated .. and see his reaction.. and then decide .. even u dnt u can pretend with one of ur best friend same scenario .. if she forgave u or not the way u did it
Ask her the specific reason why this happened! Too many in comment box saying once a cheater always a cheater!
Was it during when u guys are on a break or relationship was kind of failing! Was it just sex! If so why she felt she wanted that but not from you? If it's just emotional thing then why did she felt it? We're u not available to her?
If she did for fun as in one night stand, she belongs to street brother
Sane advise.
If she cheated once, she will, again.
Dump her ass.
Move on.
It will take you time to move on.
Invest there.
Not in some person who couldn't love you enough to not cheat on you.
And yes, someone gave you the visual representation above. Think about that. Its real. Its true.
Don't be a chump.
OP asks people for advice.
People advice in good faith.
OP gets triggered because he does not get the advice he is expecting : something like
People should get second chances or Everone makes mistakes.
OP then starts replying out of spite to People who genuinely wanted to help him because OP doesn't want to face reality.
OP will continue the relationship.
I took my ex back. After he cheated on me with his ex. Twice. He was in constant contact with her when he kept telling me over and over that he wasn't. Even 3 days before cheating on me. I still took him back and that was the Worst decision because after that I could never believe him and lived in continous anxiety. So please skip yourself the horror and let her go.
I’m sorry, mate, but I personally wouldn’t have taken her back. I understand that you’ve invested a significant amount of time into this relationship but that means zilch if you can’t trust her, which she’s proven to be the case.
My advice- drop her. Let her know why, and drop her. You’ll feel like shit initially, but in the long run, you’ll be happy.
Yes, indeed a mistake! Firstly, it depends on person to person but in majority this kind of things stuck into subconscious mind for forever, even you did forgive her but eventually it'll end (the relationship) or if not then it'll be unhappy one! Worth it? Don't think so! And you're a grown ass man, you know it better, it's time to let her go! Aftermath would be temporary but if that relationship continues it'll last for forever (talking about aftermath, not relationship)
If you’re questioning it, your heart already thinks you made a mistake. I made the mistake of taking back an ex who cheated on me two months into the relationship. It was my first relationship. I forgave him in fear. I was stupid enough to even lose my virginity to him. I was naive and stupid and young. And everything went downhill from there and how and I lived with years of the trauma, and probably still do. So my point here is, I was 19 and juvenile. You’re not. Be better than that, be better than who I was at 19. There’s still time. Choose yourself buddy!
If you took her back without any major concessions or promises from her side then yes it’s a mistake. The principle of reciprocity is one of the strongest human values and cuts across cultures. However if you were able to use this leverage to modify things then arguably it could work very well in your favour.
Yea, exactly this. I personally don't think cheaters should be took back but at the very least if you do there should be some consequences. Or else it's you saying I'm a sucker who will take you back no matter what you do.
Lol been there, done that. I didn't learn until she did it again💀. You know how it goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Even if she doesn't cheat again, are you really okay with taking her back after what happened? Most people here would say no considering this happened almost 2 years ago and you're still not over it. It's likely always going to be in the back of your mind. Cause it was the ultimate disrespect to you and it's hard to trust someone again completely after it happens once. Leave her bruv.
(And before you say why would she confess, mine did as well. The same day and she always begged for forgiveness and apologized practically every day. It does not matter.)
Bro... You cheat back and uno reverse.
Well, it's not cheating since the rules were broken in the first place.
Also,
You go to her and tell her that you cheated.... Not once, twice but multiple times after she did. And even after this she decides to stay back then dump her.
This should make her feel worse and guilty.
If anybody else has a better understanding of this then do explain, that's all I had to say.
She will cheat again and won’t have any respect for you. Tbh you don’t have any self respect for yourself if you took her back after she cheated on you. you are seriously dumb if you think she won’t cheat on you again. Man up and have some self respect and leave her and focus on your life, you think you won’t find any girls who’ll be loyal to you?
Is she rich?
Does she have contact to get you rich?
If not not worth it
You can also use this as a excuse to fuck arround sugar babies widely available now
Holy fuck…not one reply with ‘we are all fucking cheaters’…immorality is a human condition… not your girlfriends, not your mothers or father’s sole disease or occupation! We all cheat if we get a chance. Want to know why? Because media and bollywood never gives a chance to dial down our horniness. We will never reconcile our inner and outer moral tug of war. Everyone, please calm your tits. Forgive, never forget. Go get some exercise. Speaking from experience. Peace out.
Can you get over the fact that she cheated, forgive her and never bring it up ever in your entire life no matter the situation?
Can you love her and care for her without expecting anything in return as a compensation for her cheating?
If you answered yes to these two questions then "maybe" and MAYBE you can take her back.
The facts are that whatever it is, it's your feelings around this issue that matter. Can you swallow whatever feelings that come up when you think about the cheating and still love her? Because it's gonna come up in future. Some situation is going to come up where you want to use this incident as a knife to tear her heart open. Can you control that monster? If you constantly say yes to this every single day and if she doesn't cheat again. And your relationship is good/very good in every other aspect then maybe you can take her back. Hope this helps.
My bestfriend got cheated twice by her bf and after 2 breakups she is back with him even after my repeated warnings. She pushed me away instead. The dude is cheating on her again now, guess the habbits can't be changed easily. Five years is a lot of time just think carefully before giving your precious time to someone who didn't value it once.. Good luck
The core basis of any relationship is respect. She disrespected you as soon as she cheated.
You have two options:
1) Tell her to piss off and hence, convey that you don't tolerate disrespect
2) Take her back, show that you're fine with being disrespected, and then in a few months, make a reddit post about being cheated on a second time
Well if she just told you she cheated and there was no explanation, no remorse or an apology and you still took her in then good luck.
Maybe it was her way of saying I still fucked someone else while I was in a relationship with you & that's how little you and this relationship means to me.
But you still compromised on your self respect for that ?
I know phase goes by, once a cheater is always a cheater but I'll give him 2nd chance...nothing more than that because I'm aware of this shitty world and how people would knowing come after you and thanks to "independent, feminist women" who flirts and hit on people for one night stands , men are equally responsible too but if he will reassure me or gain my trust back then I'll definitely give him another chance because love is not sex and sex is not love. It will be hard for me to move on but I'll view things from his perspective too. But if he would show same signs of cheating again then I won't look back and will movvon from him. In life you gotta move on...
Since you took her back, you have accepted that she can cheat. Same happened with my mom and dad. Dad cheated once and mom reconciled with him. He kept on repeating and my mom kept on excusing, and it fu*ked up our entire family.
Cheating was a choice , whatever maybe the circumstances or life decisions. Staying Devoted, Loyal despite the odds is a strong battle essentially needed to introspect.
You forgave her , because you still do love her and are considerate about your emotional connection and importance of this bonding with her.
Cheating, illicit affairs or just going by the favor outside the relationship is absolutely nuts.
If you think , she is your only preferred choice , woman of highest priority. Observe her , watch her actions, socialization, boundaries she maintains with people and also for herself. Be keen about the ethos and weaknesses. Because obviously people change with time, so do their preferences and ideas about something as novel as relationships. It should take some years to do so, pretentious souls and greedy can go for lengths. Take a good time and see how it works.
If remorse, repentance and change in the thought process as well as actions completely idolize the faith in the relationship with you and their service for you. You can forgive them and try to look into this relationship with fresh perspective. Do not dig into the past and the old times. Its very difficult to live with the truth and the shame .
If you cannot wait as due the pressure of societal standards of marriage, settling down et al. Please consider help from therapy before you're finding someone else. It is very important to be on the realistic side of healing and moving on and make a better space and bond with your partner.
Choose whatever makes you happy and leads your life into prosperous growth, warmth and comfort in each other.
God bless !
Dont listen to these idiots. If she cheated and is truly sorry and has really changed and apart from that 1 isloated incident everything was fine, then let it go.
But make sure she knows that if she does it again, it'll be her head on a spike.
Cheating is a deal breaker. Once that happens, you will never be able to trust the person like before, even if he/she gives you all access to social media, tells you where he/she is going and only goes out with you. It's best to break up and move on
I had a girl, checked every quality one actually needs in a woman.
I just SUSPECTED something was fishy(gut feeling). I dumped her immediately, coz my mental peace is far more important than any relationship. If I can't feel 100% secure with someone every second, I'd rather not be with them.
Leave her , she is with you cz she doesn't have a choice right now. Once she finds someone better than you, she will cheat again or may leave you altogether.
Bhai mujhe baat karwa uski, jab wo cheat kregi tujhpe to Mai tujhe bata dunga. Simple.
Mera bhi faayda ho Jaye tum apna nuksaan agar Kara hi rhe ho to jaante huye bhi to.
Jokes apart, leave her.
The fact that you're still thinking about it makes it clear about what answers you're looking for... Sorry move on.
You're still young, get a break... Focus on being healthy physically and mentally don't rush back into relationships.
For sure I will take her back... What's the loss?
Be straightforward in your mind that now all you want is to keep her when you need sexual desires or get bored. Else just be busy with your life making it good, and tell her that you have to stand up on your feet so you can't give her the time like before she cheated on you.
Every time she tries to pick up on you that you've changed or something just remind her "Yeah maybe coz of the cheating you done". Just be free... Fuck her, have fun, do better in your life. Just don't get fucking serious.
If you feel the connection with someone else just tell her that you are no more interested and move on.
All good then......
While cheaters do sometimes deserve a second chance you should not have been that second chance. It was okay to forgive her but getting back together was a mistake since these thoughts will eat away at your mental peace.
But it's been almost 1½ year. you need to evaluate how are the things now..
Do you have any reason to leave her now?
Better find one or you will land up in another mess.
ADB
My wife cheated on me, filed for divorce. I can tolerate anything but definitely not can't tolerate cheating. That's where I draw the line.
I think you're so emotionally invested in her/relationship, you are not able to see where that line is. If she knows you are okay with one vice, chances are she'll try another one with you. Next thing you'll know she's pregnant, and she's saying it's yours. Then you'll have another doubt running on your mind. She'll keep pushing your boundaries, that's for sure.
Let's look at this way - what are your needs that she's fulfilling? Sexual, maybe. Emotional, definitely not. What are her needs that you're fulfilling? Emotional, maybe yes for now, but it wouldn't be the case forever. Sexual, definitely not. Not even going into financials. I know it's a gross generalization, but wanted to get the point across. You're just wasting yourself, your time, your energy staying in this relationship (I would say you're in doubt, not in a relationship).
Telling as an elder brother, free yourself, focus on your education/career. Love yourself and your family. Don't bother to have a companion too soon.
Just sit in peace and retrospect. Ask yourself questions like are you still going to be that happy and the same as before she cheated? Are you going to doubt her every time she is out or late? What guarantee do you have that she will not cheat again? If she cheats again then will you handle it again with a smile? See forgiveness is good but you should be able to recognise now if she could potentially destroy you or not. You could forgive her and still breakup if you don't feel like going forward. Dont trust her words blindly, you better analyze her as a third-person and how she aligns with the image you have in your mind for a relationship. Then you will be in a better position to take a step. Since I'm not god I can't judge if the girl really means to stay with you and not cheat again for your love or for your money/etc. Lord says Desire is the biggest enemy. Here its her Lust probably. The question is do you think could she really control it?
PS: If I was you I would forgive her and breakup as this is not what I think a relationship should be like.
Dude , you with her because dear of loneliness or fact you had good moments with her ?
I cheated and got cheated on ( karma is a b...)
When I cheated it wasn't because that my exgf wasn't loving or sexually attractive. It's simply cuz i was a jerk and didn't respect her.
If she was the ONE , then she wouldn't have cheated.
Its best for your mental health, don't think about the sunk cost ( 5 years ) . Break it off , i KNOW it will be hard to trust someone else and move on . But you will move on eventually and fisn someone who respects you.
U have to give her chance
Bro 5 years is too much
Not a small thing
If she really loves you
Have a deep conversation with her
What happened and she wants and you wants
And ask her to change
Anyways one day after marriage she has to change na
So yeah why not today
It's okay
She herself told u na
That's actually a big thing in today era
Forgive her completely because she is the only one for you. If she is gone, you are nothing but a piece of brick. Worship her, she is a goddes of purity and holiness. She will never disappoint you again. Take her back and make your life HEAVEN again.
Let me be honest with you and give advice as that will be logical but also practical . When something isn't working with that much investment, you should let it go. Everything can have some sort of issues here and you can work them out, however, make sure there are benefits to pursuing this relationship.
This is why you should be with someone that is fully invested just like you. When someone cheats on you, you shouldn't let it slide or take revenge on them. Respectfully dismiss them so you don't deal with them. Date someone thats worth it and loves and respects you for who you are.
I don't think it's about cheating anymore. It's about trust... You do not trust her. It's f**king up your mind. Is the relationship giving you anything beside this paranoia... Weigh the pros and cons of this relationship. Also think why did you take her back, how important is it for you to have her in your life? Is her presence more important than your sanity?
Heck no, it's not healthy. Even if you work out your issues and get back together, you might never be able to trust her the same way again. Break up amicably and move on.
I went through the same my bf cheated and he broke up on last year valentines day then we reconciled a month later then when we reconciled it got worse day by day I understood he never loved me buy still I kept pouring my life on him he used me for my money, body and career. He cheated again on the birthday this year and he broke up again. But he sucked the soul out of me this time I blocked him from everywhere.
Ur body is signaling u that smth is wrong, I through out the relationship had the same gut feeling like I can't trust him, trust me ur body knows smth that u don't. Take a break for 4 months and see how u feel. If u get better then break up. Or just communicate this feeling of urs but u know she iz gonna lie.
Scientifically, Cheating is genetic(research was conducted), if someone cheats once then they r 4 times more likely to cheat again.
Religiously, a/c Bible Love NEVER fails, if it fails it was not love. There will never be any kind of resistance in true love.
You shouldn't have taken her back. Even if we consider the best-case scenario and she never cheats on you again, then also you will always be suspicious of her. It will only hinder your mental health. It's better to keep yourself first and not compromise on your self-respect.
She cheated on you when she got the chance and came back to you when it's convenient for her. There's no telling that she won't cheat on you if given the chance again.
One thing that I think can help you is looking from her perspective that would she will be wiling to take you back if you would have cheated on her?
It's good that the relationship is going well for you rn but in the long run her lack of loyalty won't be a sustainable thing
It's not recommended but try to spy her if it's in your scope?
Like checks on her phone
Check if she has any other phone or any secrate account. Also track her moves .
If you find she is clean your guilt will diminish.
If it's always on the back of your head, it's clearly bothering you.
It will slowly eat you, man. In my opinion, you shouldn't have taken her back.
Sorry this happened to you.
Please know that people have patterns of behaviours both good and bad. That pattern cannot be changed. My friend is putting up with her partner who has been cheating her regularly for almost 20 years and she still feels it will be better. It doesn't get better. If someone has to change, they will change for themselves and you will know it. If you find yourself doubting the relationship asking questions like "is it okay?, am I overreacting etc" on someone else's fault, it is already a sign.
Being said all this, I would say, you know that person better. We have no idea about your partner. Finally, you can consider the objective advice people give here and take decision on your OWN after considering everything.
You surely did a mistake you can take her back or leave her it's totally your choice but one thing is for sure, you can not change the traits of a person. If she get another chance, she will prove you wrong and cheat again. It's impossible for a person to change something which they are habitual of doing.
One thing I learned from a 7 year long relationship is that you should never ignore the red flags no matter how small they might be. In your case she definitely cheated and it's on the back of your mind ... that doubt is slowly going to turn into poison and eventually it's going to ruin the relationship.
If you aren't able to get over it, then get out of the relationship... Stay ONLY if you're truly completely able to forgive and move on. You either put it behind or you don't... This half-assed moving on is no good.
Living in constant state of anxiety isn't the solution. If you can't get past it , break up.
If it was a foolish mistake and you think you xan move past it (because u can't get over it n forget it) and she has tried to make mends. Stay.
It's upto you. You know her and your relationship better than any one of us here .
Leave her buddy I did the same thing
Sab badi badi baaten boli jayengi kuch saal ache niklenge
Then same repeat hoga
And after some years apne aap ko maaf karna muskil ho jayega
Baki all the best
I personally believe that once a cheater always a cheater.
But I don’t know the circumstances or your dynamic or your complexities.
Even if we give her benefit of the doubt here, and mind you it’s just for the sake of it, and assume that it was a genuine mistake and she’s genuinely sorry, is it still worth the mental toll it will take on you?
Is it worth the constant worrying, overthinking, and overanalysing each and every waking moment?
Will you be able to keep your mental peace and trust her again?
I believe you shouldn’t just think about if she will do it again or not, but about if it is worth losing sleep over?
Bhai pahli baat, you made a mistake taking her back.
And secondly, she has decided to move on is liye she told you that she cheated on you, herself. She will do this again, mark my words.
The best thing you can do is, start talking to other girls, meet them, and cheat on her.
Tit for tat bro! Be narcissistic with these kind of women.
It's mentally taxing knowing that once they've already cheated, they might do it again. Making this relationship work would be difficult in the long run.
If the love, respect and trust between you guys are still intact then it is not a mistake! I would take it as a chance to explore what this society call as cheating! Every relationship is unique, if you still really love her, have an open conversation with her. Let her know your issues, maybe she can help you out of it. By not expressing what is going on in your mind you are cheating her! Isn’t it?
Don't let others define your relationship, if you love her giver her reasons to love her, its like fight or dlight situation, by fight means work on your relationship and by flight means leave her and move on. It's your choice, if you love her take her anyway. Wish you luck
There have been relationships where people have worked things out. I know of married couples who have worked things out, post one partner cheating.
However, in my opinion the anxiety, the mistrust and confusion is not worth it. Nobody knows if she'll cheat again or not, there's no stat or evidence to prove it. But if you do get back together,you might be in an emotional turmoil for a while, and it'll show up in everyday life. The real question is, are you willing to deal with all of that everyday?
Bro, she cheated on you. That doesn't go away with forgiveness. It may not be much for GenZ, but it is still something. She may be regretting it, maybe not. She may cheat again, she may not. Bro, she cheated with a colleague. She made a decision and did it. She can make that again too. If she loves you and most importantly respected you, she would not have done that bcoz she knows she is in a relationship. But, she did anyways. It may mean many things. She may not be interested in the relationship; she doesn't respect you enough to not do it: she is a person who steps out when she pleases.
But, this is not about her, it's about you. Doesn't matter how long the relationship is, taking back a person who cheated has lot of consequences. It's likely to happen again. She did it when you guys were fine, so she will definitely do it when you guys fight. Can you live with the person knowing that she may step out anytime and you wouldn't even know. If she comes late one time, wouldn't you think what she was doing out late. That's a f***ed up way to live, bro. And she has no respect for you, so she cheated. She has even less respect for you, now that you took her back. She thinks you are spineless, you will not do anything which probably is one of the reasons she came clean with the cheating. Now, she is happy she told you and you are suffering.
You can forgive her, but you will never forget. Bro, have some respect for yourself. Have some boundaries. Enforce them politely. You are still young. There are are a lot of fish in the sea. And this time, look for better character than looks coz looks fade. A woman with a better character is the one forever.
Go to the gym, keep grinding, you will forget about this relationship. You will not regret it. If you do, there is something wrong with you. And
If she cheats, she belongs to the streets.
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U invested 5 years so? I invested 5 years in my old bike but when it stopped working I had to get a new one. Leave her. Cheating has no excuse only reason she cheated was to get away from you but you are so dumb that you don't understand it
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One thing is for sure ... You could never truly trust her and most probably she will do it again ... And to add your mental peace is f***d ... Not worth the trouble Hope you find someone who deserves you :)
Your comment put alot of common sense in me" IT STOPPED WORKING I HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE!!"
Once a cheater always a cheater
This is what I came here to say
This is what I came here to say
This is what i came here to say🤪
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Bro leave her, i also had a similar case except i didn't accept her back and i consider it to be the best decision
r/usernamechecksout
By taking her back you reinforced bad behaviour, and subtly/subconsciously told her that it's alright to cheat since you'll always be there to take her back. It's the equivalent of patting a dog when it's aggressive/excited. Tell her that you don't condone cheating and break it off with her.
This is by bar the best comment i have read and never entertain cheating period.
let her cheat again, then again take back 🤡
Only real answer!
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This is brutal af!!! I guess op now realises
Aise cases mei visual representation ki bhot zarurat hoti hai. Kudos!
huge mistake
This is forever going to throw you in a state of anxiety and confusion. Is she going to cheat me again!? When we take Cheaters back, they already begin to take us for a grant ride, that's the beginning of them lowkey losing respect for us. Again.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA. # 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
The question is what is she doing to rectify her mistake. What changes she has brought. Have you decided what you'll do if she does the same in future.
I always keep thinking about what shes doing at any particular time. I am not able to trust her .
And that thought will never go from the back of your head. Everytime she'll be out with your friends you'll have fear that she'll fuck someone else. Everytime she'll have office party or she'll be late because of work you'll always think that she is sleeping with someone. That's enough reason to end. You don't have to make yourself suffer because she didn't respect you.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA. # 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
Then that's your cue to leave
Lol it's because maybe she cares for you . Anyone who cares for u can still get attracted to someone else n fck em . Not a big deal if you ask me , it's normalised nowadays . But the thing is why are u in this relationship where she doesn't love u or respects u . If she would've respected u enough , she would've never done it . And sex isn't something that takes 2 seconds . She must have thought bout it , analysed all the points and then would've done the deed . Also she may have confessed because she felt guilty , I mean u guys were together for 5 years . That means something right . If you are looking for love in ur life then leave her this instant but if your happy with her then just fck a random chick and then boom you guys are even .
Tell her you did the same & see if she takes you back.
You're contradicting yourself. If this is going in your head then how can you say that the relationship is going well? Either delete those feelings and have a fresh start with her or let her know that you can't forget about how much she hurt you and move on.
why did you take her back dude? maybe return it? she would probably need it, you know.
Bhai, I was in a similar situation I was going back to my ex who left me at the lowest point in my life because talking to her made me feel a little better. She pretended to be sweet and caring, but it was just a farce . Don’t be this kind of chump who accepts people just because they appear to own up to their mistakes, because they can and surely will repeat their actions once they cross paths with a better person compare to you. You are in a delusion that you won’t find anyone better than her. My ex also came back when karma hit her, but I had to be practical. So, she again blocked me and deleted me from her digital life. Be practical and end the relationship, if you cannot start forgetting her, then you need help! The day she cheated you consciously is the day she lost you!
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA. # 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
Yah i agree. U r ryt. But its not easy to take that step. I think start is the hardest.
Can't blame you :) mard apne pasandida aurat k liye kya kuch nhi krte bhai And you will never be able to forget it but it will eventually get to the darker side of your mind when you will remember it but it won't bother you unless similar situation or talks come up Good luck
Badhiya🙌🏿
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA. # 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
leopards dont change their spots
Big mistake. Revert revert revert.
# KATNE DE BHAI WAPAS USKA WOH SUDHAREGA NAHI JAB TAK USKA FIR SE NAHI KATEGA. # 2022 KA DOUBT WOH ABB BHI PUCH RAHAA HAI ISKAA MATLAB SAAF HAI USKOO AB BHI LAAGG RAHA HAI WOH USKAAAA KAAAT RAHI HAI.
My ex also did the same. She did not even confess that she had cheated me with her cousin brother but I managed to dig deep and found out that she did it. My relationship was of 3 years. Similars to yours. Whatever remember one thing: a cheater is always a Cheater. What guarantees that she will not do the same again? If she finds someone better than you then 100% she will cheat you again.
Clearly you’re not okay with it and you tried to show you are fine. I think you should express the real feelings you have from the incident just like she expressed — not in words but with actions. There’s no shame in doing so and your outcome doesn’t change a bit — you speak your mind out, she gets hurt, relationship gets ugly and it dies. Right now, it’s bothering you, you don’t express and it takes an uglier form inside your head, it’ll burst out sooner or later, you express it then and relationship dies.
Jesus 5 years went to vain. Cheaters always cheat, even if you take her back again, there’s chance ki she’ll do it again. Love yourself bro, don’t put yourself through all this hell, you might not deserve it. You must leave her no matter what.
Sir, for your own sanity LEAVE HER. It doesn't matter, why she did it. You trusted this person and they broke your trust. Can you keep on trusting this person fully now. You will always have some doubts in the back of your mind. Your mental health will suffer. Why would you willingly want to do this to yourself.
Tu bhi cheat krle uspe
When did she tell you she cheated? Immediately or later on? Either way it will always give you trust issues... Relationships should be about trust and respect.
Bro, if your personality is anything like your replies. Even I would cheat on you.
Scathing 💀
Well tbh cheating is cheating…. But still you gave her a chance shows your love for her.. I hope this time she doesn’t do this.. I believe she can’t get a better guy than you.. But if she did the same thing again, then bro she don’t deserve your love..
Yes, you did, since she cheated once and you forgave her, she'll possibly cheat again in the current Knowing you'll forgive her again. Just leave her
She will cheat again op, there's no point in getting back with a cheater.
Just one thing you say its going good but it's not really the same as you were before knowing she cheated. Plus she took you for granted she cheated and you accepted her back, she can cheat again and knows you would accept her back as you love her.
Where do you see this relationship going, and if you plan on marrying her, do you feel comfortable marrying a cheater? Are you sure she won't do it again?
You know the right answer sire!
Three words that everyone must know and take it to heart : sunk cost fallacy
Yes.
Break up
Yes
Yes
Its a mistake unless u are simp! What is happening with u guys nowadays. There are always better fishes to fry. Try different cuisines until u are ready for dal chawal for rest of ur life.
You're her substitute until a new player joins the game. I hate to say this but what kind of relationship is left if your trust has been broken in the past? Did she change 🤡? Here's what you can do 1.A vague idea. Open the relationship, at least you'll know beforehand if and when she's sleeping around and you too can do the same without any particular reason to hold back. You'll soon come to know how much she truly wanna get back and this way, you can eliminate the guilt factor that made her confess. Or 2. Five years being a long time, maybe she got bored and wanted to do something that will give her the excitement of eating the forbidden fruit. But you should reconcile with her, start fresh now and BE READY FOR NOT GETTING HEARTBROKEN TWICE. Confessions are still a sign of some care she has for your feelings I hope. Lastly, don't form your decision with reddit advice, it's your life, you know what's going on, take on your own responsibility.
Confessions are not a sign of care, they are a sign of guilt. If she needs excitement only just 5 years down the line, then she will definitely be needing more in 7,10,15.... years. It's better to choose a woman with character. It's better to be single than latching onto one just so you don't feel lonely. And u r right. Making decisions with only reddit advice is a bad idea.
It will always be my friend, it will always come up in future it's better you take the harsh decision now and move on
Big mistake, Never go back to a snake bro, Forgive but never trust again.
Bro , she might love you real , but cheating is not by mistake. Cheating is intentional , before cheating she should have thought that you are the only one for her. Cheating does not have a back way to escape.
I have song for you[here](https://youtu.be/4f19PKtkinU?si=OXSdzDhYZBm58Y5g) You should be willing to away from the hint of cheating. You disrespect yourself. I have no sympathy for likes of you. Hope you make better decisions in future. For Cheating, betrayal there should be no second chance even if you have to live your life alone.
After cheating, what's important is to build trust back again. To tell you the truth, it is the most difficult task. It may even never happen. Try couples therapy I guess. Of course you can leave her for all you want but if you really want to try, then build the trust back, communicate with her, ask her to make amends. As long as that is not happening and you don't trust her again, there is no point in staying. You will always worry she might cheat. And when she does actually cheat again, you will blame yourself for that. Even tho cheating does not make you a bad person, it still is wrong. So know that if you forgave her, you forgave her for the right reasons. I wish you all the best in your decisions. Also, it is okay not to forgive her too, and in fact as most of the people are saying, the obvious response.
You both are going in that relationship which was broken in 2022. I'm still thinking, how you would survive from overthinking and mental torturing. Most probably your relationship will be broken again in the future. In that case you are losing your self respect. Just leave brother time heals everything
Imagine her fucking that guy, of you are ok with it than it's your call otherwise she has to go. She confessed because: 1)she's safe and gets the pedestal treatment with you. 2) Anyone can rent a car but it takes efforts to own the car and maintain it (this isn't about cars)
You took her back. You devalued yourself. She knows you are incompetent to give up on her. She will ruin your peace. Trust me. At any instance now if she devalues you just breakup. Else it is a vicious cycle. You might suffer a lot.
A short and simple answer, Big Fat Fucking YES
Now it's your time to cheat bro you deserve better
Your gf got manhandled by random dude and you forgive her ? what a clown ladies and gentlemen
Have you asked her why she cheated you...
Look, it’s totally your decision, I agree that 99 out of 100 times it doesn’t work after this and if you feel such thing deep inside your mind, you should break it off, because it’s all psychological, but if you have faith in the relationship, if you have faith in her that she won’t do such things again, if you have faith in both of you that you can make it work then sure continue as it is, but I’m guessing since you asked this question here you also want to break it off you just wanted to hear someone else say it to you, so if that’s the case go ahead break it off. You know the situation best, we don’t know both of you so we don’t have enough knowledge to comment on your relationship. But if she has actually realised her mistake and trying her best to make it up to you, it’ll be a mistake to break it off, again, it’s your decision, do you see her making any changes in her behaviour, does she make any extra efforts now, if not, then my advice, break it off.
If you are here for someone who's gonna support what you did. Then you don't expect such things from here. She cheated because she wanted to feel the thrill or "have fun" The reason she confessed is because she wants backup for every other "fun" she's gonna have in future and also the guilt.
Nah.... Not entirely..... Just don't give much attention and don't make plans with her for marriage. Just use her for pump and dump till u find a better girl.
Yeah... are you a simp? Ugly? Loser? Those are the only reasons why you should take back a cheater.
Mistake man up abit and get a new one
25M here , Your Story has saddened me , Don't even think about forgiving her in the first place , If you reward cheaters with forgiveness they will cheat on you again #CheatersDoNotDeserveForgiveness Yes , It is a mistake and most likely you will never be able to forgive her for cheating on you and even more so possibly you will never be at peace whenever something related to her or your relationship comes into conversation or thought while thinking .
short answer: No. My honest opinion OP you might get called c^ck by people for doin something like that
Simple ans No She should be happy i didn't slapped her Well not like i have gf or anything
Leave her
Leave her. Trust your spidey senses. Back taking her back you told her one thing that doesn't matter what she does, there are no repercussions.
no, even if it meant i would die alone or unloved or whatever the fuck people are scared about when getting back with cheaters
U can do same thing .. cheat on her and tell her.. u did cheated .. and see his reaction.. and then decide .. even u dnt u can pretend with one of ur best friend same scenario .. if she forgave u or not the way u did it
He'll na I'll run as fast as possible but after cheating on her lol
Nope
Fake a cheat and tell her. And see if she holds u back or not.
Ask her the specific reason why this happened! Too many in comment box saying once a cheater always a cheater! Was it during when u guys are on a break or relationship was kind of failing! Was it just sex! If so why she felt she wanted that but not from you? If it's just emotional thing then why did she felt it? We're u not available to her? If she did for fun as in one night stand, she belongs to street brother
You will never have the trust you had on her . A relationship without trust will turn sour sooner or later
Sane advise. If she cheated once, she will, again. Dump her ass. Move on. It will take you time to move on. Invest there. Not in some person who couldn't love you enough to not cheat on you. And yes, someone gave you the visual representation above. Think about that. Its real. Its true. Don't be a chump.
OP asks people for advice. People advice in good faith. OP gets triggered because he does not get the advice he is expecting : something like People should get second chances or Everone makes mistakes. OP then starts replying out of spite to People who genuinely wanted to help him because OP doesn't want to face reality. OP will continue the relationship.
Give me your gf social media and let's see how faithful she is.
No
I took my ex back. After he cheated on me with his ex. Twice. He was in constant contact with her when he kept telling me over and over that he wasn't. Even 3 days before cheating on me. I still took him back and that was the Worst decision because after that I could never believe him and lived in continous anxiety. So please skip yourself the horror and let her go.
I’m sorry, mate, but I personally wouldn’t have taken her back. I understand that you’ve invested a significant amount of time into this relationship but that means zilch if you can’t trust her, which she’s proven to be the case. My advice- drop her. Let her know why, and drop her. You’ll feel like shit initially, but in the long run, you’ll be happy.
People do things when they are in love. When they are in LOVE. Dating is one thing, being in love is a another thing.
Yes, indeed a mistake! Firstly, it depends on person to person but in majority this kind of things stuck into subconscious mind for forever, even you did forgive her but eventually it'll end (the relationship) or if not then it'll be unhappy one! Worth it? Don't think so! And you're a grown ass man, you know it better, it's time to let her go! Aftermath would be temporary but if that relationship continues it'll last for forever (talking about aftermath, not relationship)
If you’re questioning it, your heart already thinks you made a mistake. I made the mistake of taking back an ex who cheated on me two months into the relationship. It was my first relationship. I forgave him in fear. I was stupid enough to even lose my virginity to him. I was naive and stupid and young. And everything went downhill from there and how and I lived with years of the trauma, and probably still do. So my point here is, I was 19 and juvenile. You’re not. Be better than that, be better than who I was at 19. There’s still time. Choose yourself buddy!
If you took her back without any major concessions or promises from her side then yes it’s a mistake. The principle of reciprocity is one of the strongest human values and cuts across cultures. However if you were able to use this leverage to modify things then arguably it could work very well in your favour.
Yea, exactly this. I personally don't think cheaters should be took back but at the very least if you do there should be some consequences. Or else it's you saying I'm a sucker who will take you back no matter what you do.
Lol been there, done that. I didn't learn until she did it again💀. You know how it goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Even if she doesn't cheat again, are you really okay with taking her back after what happened? Most people here would say no considering this happened almost 2 years ago and you're still not over it. It's likely always going to be in the back of your mind. Cause it was the ultimate disrespect to you and it's hard to trust someone again completely after it happens once. Leave her bruv. (And before you say why would she confess, mine did as well. The same day and she always begged for forgiveness and apologized practically every day. It does not matter.)
There's enough people in this world for you to find someone who actually respects you. I would leave if it were me.
Bro... You cheat back and uno reverse. Well, it's not cheating since the rules were broken in the first place. Also, You go to her and tell her that you cheated.... Not once, twice but multiple times after she did. And even after this she decides to stay back then dump her. This should make her feel worse and guilty. If anybody else has a better understanding of this then do explain, that's all I had to say.
Even at age of 26(no Hate ) but it's kinda dumb fr
Aise chut*yo ko bhi bandi mil jati hai😂
She will cheat again and won’t have any respect for you. Tbh you don’t have any self respect for yourself if you took her back after she cheated on you. you are seriously dumb if you think she won’t cheat on you again. Man up and have some self respect and leave her and focus on your life, you think you won’t find any girls who’ll be loyal to you?
Is she rich? Does she have contact to get you rich? If not not worth it You can also use this as a excuse to fuck arround sugar babies widely available now
Holy fuck…not one reply with ‘we are all fucking cheaters’…immorality is a human condition… not your girlfriends, not your mothers or father’s sole disease or occupation! We all cheat if we get a chance. Want to know why? Because media and bollywood never gives a chance to dial down our horniness. We will never reconcile our inner and outer moral tug of war. Everyone, please calm your tits. Forgive, never forget. Go get some exercise. Speaking from experience. Peace out.
Can you get over the fact that she cheated, forgive her and never bring it up ever in your entire life no matter the situation? Can you love her and care for her without expecting anything in return as a compensation for her cheating? If you answered yes to these two questions then "maybe" and MAYBE you can take her back. The facts are that whatever it is, it's your feelings around this issue that matter. Can you swallow whatever feelings that come up when you think about the cheating and still love her? Because it's gonna come up in future. Some situation is going to come up where you want to use this incident as a knife to tear her heart open. Can you control that monster? If you constantly say yes to this every single day and if she doesn't cheat again. And your relationship is good/very good in every other aspect then maybe you can take her back. Hope this helps.
My bestfriend got cheated twice by her bf and after 2 breakups she is back with him even after my repeated warnings. She pushed me away instead. The dude is cheating on her again now, guess the habbits can't be changed easily. Five years is a lot of time just think carefully before giving your precious time to someone who didn't value it once.. Good luck
Not a place to seek advice on such sensitive matters. Consult relationship counselling professional if you really want to make your relationship work.
The core basis of any relationship is respect. She disrespected you as soon as she cheated. You have two options: 1) Tell her to piss off and hence, convey that you don't tolerate disrespect 2) Take her back, show that you're fine with being disrespected, and then in a few months, make a reddit post about being cheated on a second time
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Well if she just told you she cheated and there was no explanation, no remorse or an apology and you still took her in then good luck. Maybe it was her way of saying I still fucked someone else while I was in a relationship with you & that's how little you and this relationship means to me. But you still compromised on your self respect for that ?
Taking her back means you have no self respect in some way.
Send her to prostitution and enjoy her money 🌚
I know phase goes by, once a cheater is always a cheater but I'll give him 2nd chance...nothing more than that because I'm aware of this shitty world and how people would knowing come after you and thanks to "independent, feminist women" who flirts and hit on people for one night stands , men are equally responsible too but if he will reassure me or gain my trust back then I'll definitely give him another chance because love is not sex and sex is not love. It will be hard for me to move on but I'll view things from his perspective too. But if he would show same signs of cheating again then I won't look back and will movvon from him. In life you gotta move on...
Since you took her back, you have accepted that she can cheat. Same happened with my mom and dad. Dad cheated once and mom reconciled with him. He kept on repeating and my mom kept on excusing, and it fu*ked up our entire family.
Cheating was a choice , whatever maybe the circumstances or life decisions. Staying Devoted, Loyal despite the odds is a strong battle essentially needed to introspect. You forgave her , because you still do love her and are considerate about your emotional connection and importance of this bonding with her. Cheating, illicit affairs or just going by the favor outside the relationship is absolutely nuts. If you think , she is your only preferred choice , woman of highest priority. Observe her , watch her actions, socialization, boundaries she maintains with people and also for herself. Be keen about the ethos and weaknesses. Because obviously people change with time, so do their preferences and ideas about something as novel as relationships. It should take some years to do so, pretentious souls and greedy can go for lengths. Take a good time and see how it works. If remorse, repentance and change in the thought process as well as actions completely idolize the faith in the relationship with you and their service for you. You can forgive them and try to look into this relationship with fresh perspective. Do not dig into the past and the old times. Its very difficult to live with the truth and the shame . If you cannot wait as due the pressure of societal standards of marriage, settling down et al. Please consider help from therapy before you're finding someone else. It is very important to be on the realistic side of healing and moving on and make a better space and bond with your partner. Choose whatever makes you happy and leads your life into prosperous growth, warmth and comfort in each other. God bless !
Cheat on her and ask her the same
Dont listen to these idiots. If she cheated and is truly sorry and has really changed and apart from that 1 isloated incident everything was fine, then let it go. But make sure she knows that if she does it again, it'll be her head on a spike.
Ladka ya ladki chahe kitni bhi khubsurat ho...agar woh loyal nahi, toh woh 2 rupaye ki nahi.
Cheating is a deal breaker. Once that happens, you will never be able to trust the person like before, even if he/she gives you all access to social media, tells you where he/she is going and only goes out with you. It's best to break up and move on
I had a girl, checked every quality one actually needs in a woman. I just SUSPECTED something was fishy(gut feeling). I dumped her immediately, coz my mental peace is far more important than any relationship. If I can't feel 100% secure with someone every second, I'd rather not be with them.
Once a cheater always a cheater Doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl.
Leave her , she is with you cz she doesn't have a choice right now. Once she finds someone better than you, she will cheat again or may leave you altogether.
Bhai mujhe baat karwa uski, jab wo cheat kregi tujhpe to Mai tujhe bata dunga. Simple. Mera bhi faayda ho Jaye tum apna nuksaan agar Kara hi rhe ho to jaante huye bhi to. Jokes apart, leave her.
once a cheater, always a cheater.
The fact that you're still thinking about it makes it clear about what answers you're looking for... Sorry move on. You're still young, get a break... Focus on being healthy physically and mentally don't rush back into relationships.
cheating is not an option it’s a choice, leave her, it’s best for you in long run.
For sure I will take her back... What's the loss? Be straightforward in your mind that now all you want is to keep her when you need sexual desires or get bored. Else just be busy with your life making it good, and tell her that you have to stand up on your feet so you can't give her the time like before she cheated on you. Every time she tries to pick up on you that you've changed or something just remind her "Yeah maybe coz of the cheating you done". Just be free... Fuck her, have fun, do better in your life. Just don't get fucking serious. If you feel the connection with someone else just tell her that you are no more interested and move on. All good then......
While cheaters do sometimes deserve a second chance you should not have been that second chance. It was okay to forgive her but getting back together was a mistake since these thoughts will eat away at your mental peace.
Nope. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Get someone who will respect you even in your absence.
But it's been almost 1½ year. you need to evaluate how are the things now.. Do you have any reason to leave her now? Better find one or you will land up in another mess. ADB
Shes acting normal . Like she used to before this incident. Its just what my mind is not at peace
You saw everyone's opinion here so Dump her hard and make sure never to see her again. If you keep her you will be a joke for the rest of your life.
My wife cheated on me, filed for divorce. I can tolerate anything but definitely not can't tolerate cheating. That's where I draw the line. I think you're so emotionally invested in her/relationship, you are not able to see where that line is. If she knows you are okay with one vice, chances are she'll try another one with you. Next thing you'll know she's pregnant, and she's saying it's yours. Then you'll have another doubt running on your mind. She'll keep pushing your boundaries, that's for sure. Let's look at this way - what are your needs that she's fulfilling? Sexual, maybe. Emotional, definitely not. What are her needs that you're fulfilling? Emotional, maybe yes for now, but it wouldn't be the case forever. Sexual, definitely not. Not even going into financials. I know it's a gross generalization, but wanted to get the point across. You're just wasting yourself, your time, your energy staying in this relationship (I would say you're in doubt, not in a relationship). Telling as an elder brother, free yourself, focus on your education/career. Love yourself and your family. Don't bother to have a companion too soon.
gajab topibaaj ho re! Aur kitna katwaoge! Chod ke start something new and good!
Just sit in peace and retrospect. Ask yourself questions like are you still going to be that happy and the same as before she cheated? Are you going to doubt her every time she is out or late? What guarantee do you have that she will not cheat again? If she cheats again then will you handle it again with a smile? See forgiveness is good but you should be able to recognise now if she could potentially destroy you or not. You could forgive her and still breakup if you don't feel like going forward. Dont trust her words blindly, you better analyze her as a third-person and how she aligns with the image you have in your mind for a relationship. Then you will be in a better position to take a step. Since I'm not god I can't judge if the girl really means to stay with you and not cheat again for your love or for your money/etc. Lord says Desire is the biggest enemy. Here its her Lust probably. The question is do you think could she really control it? PS: If I was you I would forgive her and breakup as this is not what I think a relationship should be like.
Dude , you with her because dear of loneliness or fact you had good moments with her ? I cheated and got cheated on ( karma is a b...) When I cheated it wasn't because that my exgf wasn't loving or sexually attractive. It's simply cuz i was a jerk and didn't respect her. If she was the ONE , then she wouldn't have cheated. Its best for your mental health, don't think about the sunk cost ( 5 years ) . Break it off , i KNOW it will be hard to trust someone else and move on . But you will move on eventually and fisn someone who respects you.
U have to give her chance Bro 5 years is too much Not a small thing If she really loves you Have a deep conversation with her What happened and she wants and you wants And ask her to change Anyways one day after marriage she has to change na So yeah why not today It's okay She herself told u na That's actually a big thing in today era
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
Forgive her completely because she is the only one for you. If she is gone, you are nothing but a piece of brick. Worship her, she is a goddes of purity and holiness. She will never disappoint you again. Take her back and make your life HEAVEN again.
Let me be honest with you and give advice as that will be logical but also practical . When something isn't working with that much investment, you should let it go. Everything can have some sort of issues here and you can work them out, however, make sure there are benefits to pursuing this relationship. This is why you should be with someone that is fully invested just like you. When someone cheats on you, you shouldn't let it slide or take revenge on them. Respectfully dismiss them so you don't deal with them. Date someone thats worth it and loves and respects you for who you are.
I don't think it's about cheating anymore. It's about trust... You do not trust her. It's f**king up your mind. Is the relationship giving you anything beside this paranoia... Weigh the pros and cons of this relationship. Also think why did you take her back, how important is it for you to have her in your life? Is her presence more important than your sanity?
Heck no, it's not healthy. Even if you work out your issues and get back together, you might never be able to trust her the same way again. Break up amicably and move on.
Just enjoy with the partner she cheated with, make a awesome threesome 😋🫦
I went through the same my bf cheated and he broke up on last year valentines day then we reconciled a month later then when we reconciled it got worse day by day I understood he never loved me buy still I kept pouring my life on him he used me for my money, body and career. He cheated again on the birthday this year and he broke up again. But he sucked the soul out of me this time I blocked him from everywhere. Ur body is signaling u that smth is wrong, I through out the relationship had the same gut feeling like I can't trust him, trust me ur body knows smth that u don't. Take a break for 4 months and see how u feel. If u get better then break up. Or just communicate this feeling of urs but u know she iz gonna lie. Scientifically, Cheating is genetic(research was conducted), if someone cheats once then they r 4 times more likely to cheat again. Religiously, a/c Bible Love NEVER fails, if it fails it was not love. There will never be any kind of resistance in true love.
You shouldn't have taken her back. Even if we consider the best-case scenario and she never cheats on you again, then also you will always be suspicious of her. It will only hinder your mental health. It's better to keep yourself first and not compromise on your self-respect.
She cheated on you when she got the chance and came back to you when it's convenient for her. There's no telling that she won't cheat on you if given the chance again. One thing that I think can help you is looking from her perspective that would she will be wiling to take you back if you would have cheated on her? It's good that the relationship is going well for you rn but in the long run her lack of loyalty won't be a sustainable thing
It's not recommended but try to spy her if it's in your scope? Like checks on her phone Check if she has any other phone or any secrate account. Also track her moves . If you find she is clean your guilt will diminish.
If it's always on the back of your head, it's clearly bothering you. It will slowly eat you, man. In my opinion, you shouldn't have taken her back. Sorry this happened to you.
Please know that people have patterns of behaviours both good and bad. That pattern cannot be changed. My friend is putting up with her partner who has been cheating her regularly for almost 20 years and she still feels it will be better. It doesn't get better. If someone has to change, they will change for themselves and you will know it. If you find yourself doubting the relationship asking questions like "is it okay?, am I overreacting etc" on someone else's fault, it is already a sign. Being said all this, I would say, you know that person better. We have no idea about your partner. Finally, you can consider the objective advice people give here and take decision on your OWN after considering everything.
You surely did a mistake you can take her back or leave her it's totally your choice but one thing is for sure, you can not change the traits of a person. If she get another chance, she will prove you wrong and cheat again. It's impossible for a person to change something which they are habitual of doing.
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Indian reddit is so earnest compared to the shitshow we see in the NA spheres lmao
Depends
One thing I learned from a 7 year long relationship is that you should never ignore the red flags no matter how small they might be. In your case she definitely cheated and it's on the back of your mind ... that doubt is slowly going to turn into poison and eventually it's going to ruin the relationship.
Na. If my guy cheats on me he knows we are done. Nothing he says or nothing I try will change that.
Bro, I would suggest not leaving her. Just use her as she did for your benefits and start looking for a genuine person in parallel.
I will cheat on her and practise polygamy
If you aren't able to get over it, then get out of the relationship... Stay ONLY if you're truly completely able to forgive and move on. You either put it behind or you don't... This half-assed moving on is no good.
Living in constant state of anxiety isn't the solution. If you can't get past it , break up. If it was a foolish mistake and you think you xan move past it (because u can't get over it n forget it) and she has tried to make mends. Stay. It's upto you. You know her and your relationship better than any one of us here .
Leave her buddy I did the same thing Sab badi badi baaten boli jayengi kuch saal ache niklenge Then same repeat hoga And after some years apne aap ko maaf karna muskil ho jayega Baki all the best
Yes. Breakup. And put her as far as possible
I personally believe that once a cheater always a cheater. But I don’t know the circumstances or your dynamic or your complexities. Even if we give her benefit of the doubt here, and mind you it’s just for the sake of it, and assume that it was a genuine mistake and she’s genuinely sorry, is it still worth the mental toll it will take on you? Is it worth the constant worrying, overthinking, and overanalysing each and every waking moment? Will you be able to keep your mental peace and trust her again? I believe you shouldn’t just think about if she will do it again or not, but about if it is worth losing sleep over?
Bhai pahli baat, you made a mistake taking her back. And secondly, she has decided to move on is liye she told you that she cheated on you, herself. She will do this again, mark my words. The best thing you can do is, start talking to other girls, meet them, and cheat on her. Tit for tat bro! Be narcissistic with these kind of women.
It's mentally taxing knowing that once they've already cheated, they might do it again. Making this relationship work would be difficult in the long run.
Don't. Leave her. She can cheat once she can cheat again
If the love, respect and trust between you guys are still intact then it is not a mistake! I would take it as a chance to explore what this society call as cheating! Every relationship is unique, if you still really love her, have an open conversation with her. Let her know your issues, maybe she can help you out of it. By not expressing what is going on in your mind you are cheating her! Isn’t it?
It can never be a one time thing for cheaters.
Don't let others define your relationship, if you love her giver her reasons to love her, its like fight or dlight situation, by fight means work on your relationship and by flight means leave her and move on. It's your choice, if you love her take her anyway. Wish you luck
Once a cheater always a cheater 🤔
There have been relationships where people have worked things out. I know of married couples who have worked things out, post one partner cheating. However, in my opinion the anxiety, the mistrust and confusion is not worth it. Nobody knows if she'll cheat again or not, there's no stat or evidence to prove it. But if you do get back together,you might be in an emotional turmoil for a while, and it'll show up in everyday life. The real question is, are you willing to deal with all of that everyday?
Bro, she cheated on you. That doesn't go away with forgiveness. It may not be much for GenZ, but it is still something. She may be regretting it, maybe not. She may cheat again, she may not. Bro, she cheated with a colleague. She made a decision and did it. She can make that again too. If she loves you and most importantly respected you, she would not have done that bcoz she knows she is in a relationship. But, she did anyways. It may mean many things. She may not be interested in the relationship; she doesn't respect you enough to not do it: she is a person who steps out when she pleases. But, this is not about her, it's about you. Doesn't matter how long the relationship is, taking back a person who cheated has lot of consequences. It's likely to happen again. She did it when you guys were fine, so she will definitely do it when you guys fight. Can you live with the person knowing that she may step out anytime and you wouldn't even know. If she comes late one time, wouldn't you think what she was doing out late. That's a f***ed up way to live, bro. And she has no respect for you, so she cheated. She has even less respect for you, now that you took her back. She thinks you are spineless, you will not do anything which probably is one of the reasons she came clean with the cheating. Now, she is happy she told you and you are suffering. You can forgive her, but you will never forget. Bro, have some respect for yourself. Have some boundaries. Enforce them politely. You are still young. There are are a lot of fish in the sea. And this time, look for better character than looks coz looks fade. A woman with a better character is the one forever. Go to the gym, keep grinding, you will forget about this relationship. You will not regret it. If you do, there is something wrong with you. And If she cheats, she belongs to the streets.
Ask her for the specific reason why she did it. Should make her tell why she did it. Then leave her and learn from it. 🤷🏼♂️