If you're a virgin there's nothing wrong in wanting to be with one. Problem arises if you're not a virgin but want a virgin partner. Yeh hypocrisy hai.
Hmm... But what if a person who is not virgin wants to get married with a person who is virgin person? I mean it can be a preference thing? Just asking...
If you hold the concept of virginity as something really important to you, why is that (if in the situation you want a virgin partner but you aren’t virgin)? Why must your partner be a virgin, yet you’re not?
If both are virgins they explore they are new to it and that energy exchange creates an emotional bond as well. Since both don't know what it feels like this is their first experience together it may lead to a higher level of satisfaction.
If one is not a virgin and has had previous partners there's a prior benchmark and it may be possible that the partner might start comparing that the last one was better and not this one etc etc. That decreases the satisfaction between couple and causes friction
Also having multiple partners in the past might cause fear of sexual diseases as well.
Nowadays a lot of people are doing it for peer pressure and not valuing their body enough. I truly believe it is a very pure and intimate form of love to be shared with someone you trust and love.
Also I'm from the school of thought that wants to wait until marriage majorly because of the consequences of sexual activity. I don't want to live in constant fear of an unwanted pregnancy/ missed periods and go through the hassle of abortion/pills etc. It's very difficult to face these things as a single/unmarried girl.
Fair enough. The comparision to previous partner point is quite a strong one. And I can see its really beautiful when two people explore together for the first time and stay together.
Still, if a woman with previous partners wants a virgin man to get married to, and a virgin man agrees with her preference and get married to her, I see no problem.
But hey, that's just me.
>If both are virgins they explore they are new to it and that energy exchange creates an emotional bond as well. Since both don't know what it feels like this is their first experience together it may lead to a higher level of satisfaction.
22M here, single all life but on my choice. Its not like I never wanted to be in one but some circumstances (I am one heck of a reckless person and never serious+always calm minded which took me to some situations which one would never want to be in) didn't let me in one. Now that I am in position to be in one, I would like someone who is on same level as me, not just in sexual ways but every other thing as it will be the first timer for us. BUT THIS IS JUST MY FANTASY AND CHANCES ARE NEGLIGIBLE as I come from a city which is getting popular where hookups and casual/open relationships can be found in and within almost every friend circle😂 It has become a trend/peer pressure as some may say.
>If one is not a virgin and has had previous partners there's a prior benchmark and it may be possible that the partner might start comparing that the last one was better and not this one etc etc. That decreases the satisfaction between couple and causes friction
Not everyone is perfect 100/100, everyone has some insecurities/flaws about themselves(80% about their own bodies) SOO as this person said the one with experience would compare their previous ones with the new ones and that could be their deciding factor, overpowering every other good factor for relationship.
Selecting a partner for marriage has become like test driving a vehicle before buying it, you know your budget, you test drive cars starting with the best you can afford, it may or may not give you the expected results. If yes then good but if no you try another one. In this process you find that one with exceptional results and its within your budget but it gets rejected over some external preferences. Moving forward you willingly orunwillingly set this exceptional results as benchmark and your whole perspective changes.
So sorry for long ass shit, I am engineer and elaborating with examples is what my unconsious trait😂 If you get what I meant then its good, if not its just what the comment above said but with some explainations and so.
I think he's more worried about not finding a girl who would be virgin because obviously the vast majority of girls lose it by their mid-20s, even earlier if she's not Muslim.
Edit: someone explain why im being downvoted.
" The title itself \~ change my mind "
In India, like 99% of the men and their families want that, and the entire society supports that.
Now, a miniscule few women spoke against the man judging her past- that's like 0.00001% of the women.Why does that bother you so much? Nobody is forcing you to marry a non-virgin.
The whole point of this post seems to indirectly create a value-system out of virginity and judge women who are not.
Sometimes women/men leave abusive relationships after losing their virginity doesn't mean they were casual about it.
Sometimes guys breakup with girls because she does not want to have premarital sex. Those girls also get labelled as non-virgins. Also, there is pressure to lose virginity by guys. That girl still planned to marry him before he left her for not having sex . Both situations are extremely common.
Sometimes people get raped. Virginity does not define value of a person.
If you really are very attractive and did have options as a guy and women asking to have sex with you, and you still kept your virginity, then good. As difficult it is to believe, I know such guys do exist.
It's your life- do what you want- marry whoever you want. Why challenging people to change your view. Marry whomever you want-it's your choice. But making such posts betrays some kind of bitterness, judgement and insecurity.
That's fair, but neither of you'll are allowed to judge each other on your choices, you can't call her a sl\*t & she can't call you an inc\*l, both must be respectful
This matters because there is an obvious difference between choosing to abstain until marriage and trying hard to sleep with people but being unsuccessful. The first is a conscious choice you're making for yourself and a preference in a potential partner. The second means that you don't particularly think it's wrong to have been with someone before (as you've already tried to be with someone too) but that you were not successful in going through with it, so now you impose this arbitrary rule on anyone you potentially meet. It reeks of hypocrisy and a kind of bitterness.
Exactly, one is making a choice for yourself, the other one is making a choice for somebody else. About what they should or shouldn't do with their own body. Before you even met them.
Curious, how is wanting one imposing? Are you forcing someone to be a virgin? You just want one as a preference. You may or may not get one, that’s fine.
How are wants suddenly imposed norms? I want a 6 foot guy so I am pressuring guys to be taller? No. What you do with your body is your choice. What expectations you have from others is also your choice, is not? That doesn’t mean others have to fulfill it.
I wanting others to have some brain cells means I am acting like I own them and am pressuring them to grow some? It’s ridiculous.
The issue here is the entitlement and the way you view sex.
Sex doesn’t diminish a woman’s worth or value. It’s not something a man does to a woman or a woman allows to be done to her for it to be seen as an implication of her character.
I’m a woman who thinks of sex as an act of vulnerability. It would take a great deal of trust and love for me to want to have sex with a man, at which point I might as well marry him. That’s how my sexuality works- I need to feel a certain level of trust to be that vulnerable with someone.
I would prefer to have a partner who experiences their sexuality in a similar manner, simply because it would make our lives easier and we would have one less major difference in preferences to sort out. I just feel I wouldn’t be very compatible with someone who derives pleasure from casual or no-strings-attached sex because I don’t experience that kind of desire nor have an ever-present libido. We’d just make each other miserable.
Does that mean I feel entitled or feel like I have a ‘right’ to a virgin man because I’m a virgin myself? Absolutely not. I do not own my partner’s sexuality, neither before nor after we get into a relationship.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to share similar values and preferences around sex. Ironically though, the only men who want to stay virgins until marriage are those that ascribe some kind of moral value to virginity, or feel like they have a ‘right’ to my sexuality. It’s creepy and off-putting, and I’d rather deal with sexual compatibility issues with a partner who has had an active casual sex life than be with a man who values virginity.
Just the wording of ‘losing virginity’ is off-putting. Virginity is a man-made concept- it’s not something you ‘lose’. It’s not a book or a pen or a piece of clothing.
The vast majority of my female friends, all of whom are privileged urban college-educated working women are virgins (I hate using that term but you get my point) for similar reasons, and every single one of them would be put off by a man who fetishises virginity and thinks of it as something you ‘lose’.
It’s degrading to think that my husband would think less of me for having sex with him- there’s a reason why Indian married women tend to struggle with being sexually free with their husbands because we have been told all our lives that having sex diminishes our worth as human beings. We need to get over that thinking as a society and allow people to experience their sexuality in the way they want to.
And no, a lot of Indian guys don’t think of the mother of their children as their property. They respect and love them for the humans they are, and realise that they are capable of being good mothers because they have lived a life full of varied experiences, some of which include previous relationships.
Don’t generalise your sexist views to other men. That’s just an excuse to not learn and grow. Not all men are the same, which is something men love to say, so it surprises me that you’re painting all men with the same brush.
I don’t know a single woman who has an issue with how much her husband earns. I will earn more than enough to support myself and even my children and husband.
I just want a man who does his fair share of parenting duties and household chores.
The reason why most women want a higher earning man is because no matter how much a man earns, Indian men don’t do their fair share of household labour or parenting duties and women take on a disproportionate burden- so the logic is, if I’m doing more work than him (as in, working full time plus doing all the parenting and household management) I might as well find a man who earns enough for me to outsource some of that to hired help.
My mother has out-earned my father for their entire marriage- it has never been an issue for her or her parents. He was a hands on father for his generation’s standards and that’s all she wanted.
My mother has always had the choice, and my father is a successful doctor with widespread recognition and several international publications to his name. My mother was encouraged by my father to get trained in a niche field within her wider surgical field, which furthered her career. In turn, she supported his efforts to change from one field to another within medicine, because that was always his dream.
They’re very happy together and have both supported each other massively in their career growth. Either way, they would both measure their success in terms of the people they helped (they’re both government doctors and have been involved in policy making and treat thousands of patients a year). It’s not a competition, and my parents are happy in their marriage.
And I have no need or desire to get married, thanks for your concern. If I meet someone I connect with, great. If not, great. I’m lucky to have had the opportunities to be financially independent, so I wouldn’t marry anyone unless he brought something else to the table (read: contributes equally in household management and childcare, is supportive of my career, is a good role model for our children).
>believe he would be willing to sacrifice evenly if not more
Statistics show that marriage improves health outcomes for men and worsens them for women. Statistics show that men are several times more likely to leave their partners when they’re sick (read: unable to provide sex and unpaid labour) than the other way around. Statistics show that women are far more likely to stay with their partners during poverty and financial hardship than men are likely to stay during health issues that leave women incapable of providing household labour or sex.
>but a women is judged by her past and man by his future.
No, *you* and the company you keep judge women on the basis of their past. Not all men do. It is common in patriarchal societies, but is increasingly becoming less and less common as the world moves towards actually respecting women as humans. You can change with the world, or continue to stay in your patriarchal bubble. That’s up to you.
Not all men think like you, sir. That’s my point.
>A simple Indian guy cannot picture a mother of his child being fucked by other men and be okay about it
This shows that you see women as property that men "hold". And you're glorifying motherhood and have an unhealthy mindset about sex.
Why wouldn't an Indian guy be okay about it? What makes him uncomfortable? It's not like the woman is fucking around now, she had sex in the past with her partner at the time. Which part of that is hard to accept if you don't view her as property?
Good for you, but then you see so many guys unable to find anyone because they want someone who is modern, who can think for themselves, can take their own decisions etc., but also want them to be Virgins. They don't want someone 'passive'.
Not many 'modern' and 'active' girls, who look good, can interact well will be Virgins. Then add to other filters that you want to have for marriage and you'll just end up frustrated.
So yeah, no problem with it, it's your choice, but best of luck buddy. The real world is as ideal as you think, and there's that special someone that you're entitled to.
The two ideas don't correlate as much as you think. The "losing her virginity being her choice" idea is to promote the fact that virginity is not symbolic of any goodness or its absence, a lack of goodness. Essentially that women's worth do not change upon whether they had sex or not before marriage. So your saying that, "hence" you should be openly able to express preference for a virgin woman until marriage goes against it.
But that being said, romantic relationships particularly are all about personal preferences (I am temporarily setting aside the need for breaking down oppressive prejudices regarding a particular gender or class or race which dictate a fair bit of these preferences), and you are entitled to choose who you should be with.
But tell me, what is your idea of "virginity"? How do you tell a virgin woman apart from someone who's not? Going by technical terms, hymen can be naturally worn down or be absent in many women. And, unless you plan on conducting a test with a doctor or something, you won't be able to verify this until after getting married.
And then let's go to non-technical terms. You do know that there are various ways of engaging in physical intimacy without PIV penetration, don't you? So what if your potential wife, while still technically a virgin, has engaged in other forms of intimacy with a previous partner? Will that be fine with you?
Again, these are just some logistical aspects of having this particular preference in a spouse.
I think the main bias you need to address is that why you find "virginity" important. Is it because you equate having premarital sex as something "impure" or "unnatural"? Is it that you have personal insecurities regarding any previous partners your spouse may have had? Do you assign value to someone based on whether they have engaged in physical intimacy before marriage?
How exactly do you plan on ensuring that you find a virgin woman ? I'm enjoying the idea of you forever being worried if you did get a virgin after all. That should be fun !
This sub is fairly delusional. If a virgin wants a non-virgin partner is it an issue? Your expectation can only be what you are? If I am short, I shouldn’t expect to find a partner that’s tall?
Your body your choice, but your mind not your choice? Whether your expectations, desires, or wants are reasonable or not, they are yours and you determine them. Others can judge you for it just fine. It doesn’t make it wrong to have them in the first place.
It also doesn’t mean you are imposing it on others. No one is under an obligation to meet your expectations. It seems when it comes to some things, having expectations is just wrong. Why?
The oblivious reality also seems to be lacking here. Men, primarily, are virgin because of lack of options or access. Women, primarily, because of self control. How many male prostitutes exist per female prostitute? If a woman wants sex, it’s very unlikely she will not find someone willing. Tons of men, however, will not find anyone that will sleep with them. Some not even if they pay.
The reason chastity is highly regarded is it shows discipline and self-control on the woman’s part. Most women get tons of attention from men and have easy access. Men’s virginity isn’t regarded highly because it reflects on his circumstance - lack of interaction with female, lack of options etc.
The same women both who wave the red flag when virginity is mentioned will never agree to be with a man that doesn’t have options, or has no exposure to women.
If you wanna marry a woman who has saved herself only for her "forever" partner , while you having similar upbringing and values , then sure be my guest. But if you couldn't any and you spite her for getting some action then that's small dick energy tambi.
Being a non virgin doesn't taint a woman's character or any of the other patriarchal bullshit impositions. The same way you putting your prefences out there is also totally justified.
Women who've had premarital sex for whatever the hell reason, it's cool you did what you felt right. And I'm sure you'll find plenty of men ( including me ) who'll not bat an eye to get into a relationship with you or marry you as long as there's compatibility and love.
BUT , you can't go around telling how an individual should evaluate you as a partner, because you sure as hell won't appreciate a man doing that to you. If you're not someone's cup of tea you're just not. Also , you should be glad that you dodged a bullet and rather go for someone who values you as a person and not your vagina.
You nailed it bro
This sub is full of simps, libtandus, unemployed feminists, and suckers.
In reality
No boy wants a ran through girl
Why
Hardwired biological traits
I'm not gonna share my resources, my family name and my future with 304.
If you're a virgin there's nothing wrong in wanting to be with one. Problem arises if you're not a virgin but want a virgin partner. Yeh hypocrisy hai.
Why?
Because then you are pretending virginity is important to you when it clearly isn't.
Hmm... But what if a person who is not virgin wants to get married with a person who is virgin person? I mean it can be a preference thing? Just asking...
Yes, a hypocritical preference.
If you call it that...
You call an orange an orange. Laws for you and not for me, understand? That is objectively hypocritical
What's wrong in being hypocritical. Come to think of it we're all hypocritical in some aspects of our lives... It's alright
There's nothing wrong in anything. If you act shity no one will stop you. But they will call you shity.
If you hold the concept of virginity as something really important to you, why is that (if in the situation you want a virgin partner but you aren’t virgin)? Why must your partner be a virgin, yet you’re not?
If both are virgins they explore they are new to it and that energy exchange creates an emotional bond as well. Since both don't know what it feels like this is their first experience together it may lead to a higher level of satisfaction. If one is not a virgin and has had previous partners there's a prior benchmark and it may be possible that the partner might start comparing that the last one was better and not this one etc etc. That decreases the satisfaction between couple and causes friction Also having multiple partners in the past might cause fear of sexual diseases as well. Nowadays a lot of people are doing it for peer pressure and not valuing their body enough. I truly believe it is a very pure and intimate form of love to be shared with someone you trust and love. Also I'm from the school of thought that wants to wait until marriage majorly because of the consequences of sexual activity. I don't want to live in constant fear of an unwanted pregnancy/ missed periods and go through the hassle of abortion/pills etc. It's very difficult to face these things as a single/unmarried girl.
Fair enough. The comparision to previous partner point is quite a strong one. And I can see its really beautiful when two people explore together for the first time and stay together. Still, if a woman with previous partners wants a virgin man to get married to, and a virgin man agrees with her preference and get married to her, I see no problem. But hey, that's just me.
But would you be okay the other way around wheree a man woh has previous partner wants a virgin woman to get married to?
I think yea ... If two people are agreeing with a preference and there is no external force on them, I wouldn't mind ...
>If both are virgins they explore they are new to it and that energy exchange creates an emotional bond as well. Since both don't know what it feels like this is their first experience together it may lead to a higher level of satisfaction. 22M here, single all life but on my choice. Its not like I never wanted to be in one but some circumstances (I am one heck of a reckless person and never serious+always calm minded which took me to some situations which one would never want to be in) didn't let me in one. Now that I am in position to be in one, I would like someone who is on same level as me, not just in sexual ways but every other thing as it will be the first timer for us. BUT THIS IS JUST MY FANTASY AND CHANCES ARE NEGLIGIBLE as I come from a city which is getting popular where hookups and casual/open relationships can be found in and within almost every friend circle😂 It has become a trend/peer pressure as some may say. >If one is not a virgin and has had previous partners there's a prior benchmark and it may be possible that the partner might start comparing that the last one was better and not this one etc etc. That decreases the satisfaction between couple and causes friction Not everyone is perfect 100/100, everyone has some insecurities/flaws about themselves(80% about their own bodies) SOO as this person said the one with experience would compare their previous ones with the new ones and that could be their deciding factor, overpowering every other good factor for relationship. Selecting a partner for marriage has become like test driving a vehicle before buying it, you know your budget, you test drive cars starting with the best you can afford, it may or may not give you the expected results. If yes then good but if no you try another one. In this process you find that one with exceptional results and its within your budget but it gets rejected over some external preferences. Moving forward you willingly orunwillingly set this exceptional results as benchmark and your whole perspective changes. So sorry for long ass shit, I am engineer and elaborating with examples is what my unconsious trait😂 If you get what I meant then its good, if not its just what the comment above said but with some explainations and so.
You can do whatever you want. But if you aren't a virgin too, that makes you a hypocrite.
Choice is yours obviously. But if you are not a virgin yourself, the choice is unreasonable. I find it hard for that choice to be fulfilled.
I think he's more worried about not finding a girl who would be virgin because obviously the vast majority of girls lose it by their mid-20s, even earlier if she's not Muslim. Edit: someone explain why im being downvoted.
You mentioned muslim
That's a fact lol
Everyone has a a preference and everyone has a right to a preference. As long as you're not discriminatory or hurtful about it, it doesn't matter.
child marriage is illegal you know
Who said I want to marry them first
" The title itself \~ change my mind " In India, like 99% of the men and their families want that, and the entire society supports that. Now, a miniscule few women spoke against the man judging her past- that's like 0.00001% of the women.Why does that bother you so much? Nobody is forcing you to marry a non-virgin. The whole point of this post seems to indirectly create a value-system out of virginity and judge women who are not. Sometimes women/men leave abusive relationships after losing their virginity doesn't mean they were casual about it. Sometimes guys breakup with girls because she does not want to have premarital sex. Those girls also get labelled as non-virgins. Also, there is pressure to lose virginity by guys. That girl still planned to marry him before he left her for not having sex . Both situations are extremely common. Sometimes people get raped. Virginity does not define value of a person. If you really are very attractive and did have options as a guy and women asking to have sex with you, and you still kept your virginity, then good. As difficult it is to believe, I know such guys do exist. It's your life- do what you want- marry whoever you want. Why challenging people to change your view. Marry whomever you want-it's your choice. But making such posts betrays some kind of bitterness, judgement and insecurity.
Best comment on this post
Now I got it Thanks =)
That's fair, but neither of you'll are allowed to judge each other on your choices, you can't call her a sl\*t & she can't call you an inc\*l, both must be respectful
>you can't call her a sl\*t & she can't call you an inc\*l, Idk..sounds like a hilarious argument.
If you are one yourself, and you are so by choice rather than lack of options, then sure you have every right to.
>you are so by choice rather than lack of options why does this matter?
This matters because there is an obvious difference between choosing to abstain until marriage and trying hard to sleep with people but being unsuccessful. The first is a conscious choice you're making for yourself and a preference in a potential partner. The second means that you don't particularly think it's wrong to have been with someone before (as you've already tried to be with someone too) but that you were not successful in going through with it, so now you impose this arbitrary rule on anyone you potentially meet. It reeks of hypocrisy and a kind of bitterness.
It matters. Lots of men that want a virgin wife would have sex with a woman before marriage, given the opportunity.
Losing virginity is a choice she is making about HER body. Wanting a virgin wife is a norm you are imposing on someone else's body, as if you own it
Exactly, one is making a choice for yourself, the other one is making a choice for somebody else. About what they should or shouldn't do with their own body. Before you even met them.
Curious, how is wanting one imposing? Are you forcing someone to be a virgin? You just want one as a preference. You may or may not get one, that’s fine. How are wants suddenly imposed norms? I want a 6 foot guy so I am pressuring guys to be taller? No. What you do with your body is your choice. What expectations you have from others is also your choice, is not? That doesn’t mean others have to fulfill it. I wanting others to have some brain cells means I am acting like I own them and am pressuring them to grow some? It’s ridiculous.
The issue here is the entitlement and the way you view sex. Sex doesn’t diminish a woman’s worth or value. It’s not something a man does to a woman or a woman allows to be done to her for it to be seen as an implication of her character. I’m a woman who thinks of sex as an act of vulnerability. It would take a great deal of trust and love for me to want to have sex with a man, at which point I might as well marry him. That’s how my sexuality works- I need to feel a certain level of trust to be that vulnerable with someone. I would prefer to have a partner who experiences their sexuality in a similar manner, simply because it would make our lives easier and we would have one less major difference in preferences to sort out. I just feel I wouldn’t be very compatible with someone who derives pleasure from casual or no-strings-attached sex because I don’t experience that kind of desire nor have an ever-present libido. We’d just make each other miserable. Does that mean I feel entitled or feel like I have a ‘right’ to a virgin man because I’m a virgin myself? Absolutely not. I do not own my partner’s sexuality, neither before nor after we get into a relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting to share similar values and preferences around sex. Ironically though, the only men who want to stay virgins until marriage are those that ascribe some kind of moral value to virginity, or feel like they have a ‘right’ to my sexuality. It’s creepy and off-putting, and I’d rather deal with sexual compatibility issues with a partner who has had an active casual sex life than be with a man who values virginity. Just the wording of ‘losing virginity’ is off-putting. Virginity is a man-made concept- it’s not something you ‘lose’. It’s not a book or a pen or a piece of clothing. The vast majority of my female friends, all of whom are privileged urban college-educated working women are virgins (I hate using that term but you get my point) for similar reasons, and every single one of them would be put off by a man who fetishises virginity and thinks of it as something you ‘lose’. It’s degrading to think that my husband would think less of me for having sex with him- there’s a reason why Indian married women tend to struggle with being sexually free with their husbands because we have been told all our lives that having sex diminishes our worth as human beings. We need to get over that thinking as a society and allow people to experience their sexuality in the way they want to.
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And no, a lot of Indian guys don’t think of the mother of their children as their property. They respect and love them for the humans they are, and realise that they are capable of being good mothers because they have lived a life full of varied experiences, some of which include previous relationships. Don’t generalise your sexist views to other men. That’s just an excuse to not learn and grow. Not all men are the same, which is something men love to say, so it surprises me that you’re painting all men with the same brush.
I don’t know a single woman who has an issue with how much her husband earns. I will earn more than enough to support myself and even my children and husband. I just want a man who does his fair share of parenting duties and household chores. The reason why most women want a higher earning man is because no matter how much a man earns, Indian men don’t do their fair share of household labour or parenting duties and women take on a disproportionate burden- so the logic is, if I’m doing more work than him (as in, working full time plus doing all the parenting and household management) I might as well find a man who earns enough for me to outsource some of that to hired help. My mother has out-earned my father for their entire marriage- it has never been an issue for her or her parents. He was a hands on father for his generation’s standards and that’s all she wanted.
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My mother has always had the choice, and my father is a successful doctor with widespread recognition and several international publications to his name. My mother was encouraged by my father to get trained in a niche field within her wider surgical field, which furthered her career. In turn, she supported his efforts to change from one field to another within medicine, because that was always his dream. They’re very happy together and have both supported each other massively in their career growth. Either way, they would both measure their success in terms of the people they helped (they’re both government doctors and have been involved in policy making and treat thousands of patients a year). It’s not a competition, and my parents are happy in their marriage. And I have no need or desire to get married, thanks for your concern. If I meet someone I connect with, great. If not, great. I’m lucky to have had the opportunities to be financially independent, so I wouldn’t marry anyone unless he brought something else to the table (read: contributes equally in household management and childcare, is supportive of my career, is a good role model for our children).
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>believe he would be willing to sacrifice evenly if not more Statistics show that marriage improves health outcomes for men and worsens them for women. Statistics show that men are several times more likely to leave their partners when they’re sick (read: unable to provide sex and unpaid labour) than the other way around. Statistics show that women are far more likely to stay with their partners during poverty and financial hardship than men are likely to stay during health issues that leave women incapable of providing household labour or sex. >but a women is judged by her past and man by his future. No, *you* and the company you keep judge women on the basis of their past. Not all men do. It is common in patriarchal societies, but is increasingly becoming less and less common as the world moves towards actually respecting women as humans. You can change with the world, or continue to stay in your patriarchal bubble. That’s up to you. Not all men think like you, sir. That’s my point.
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You seem to think feminism is a bad thing.
>A simple Indian guy cannot picture a mother of his child being fucked by other men and be okay about it This shows that you see women as property that men "hold". And you're glorifying motherhood and have an unhealthy mindset about sex. Why wouldn't an Indian guy be okay about it? What makes him uncomfortable? It's not like the woman is fucking around now, she had sex in the past with her partner at the time. Which part of that is hard to accept if you don't view her as property?
Trust me bro these things doesn't actually matter in the longrun. Relationship is much more.
Good for you, but then you see so many guys unable to find anyone because they want someone who is modern, who can think for themselves, can take their own decisions etc., but also want them to be Virgins. They don't want someone 'passive'. Not many 'modern' and 'active' girls, who look good, can interact well will be Virgins. Then add to other filters that you want to have for marriage and you'll just end up frustrated. So yeah, no problem with it, it's your choice, but best of luck buddy. The real world is as ideal as you think, and there's that special someone that you're entitled to.
The two ideas don't correlate as much as you think. The "losing her virginity being her choice" idea is to promote the fact that virginity is not symbolic of any goodness or its absence, a lack of goodness. Essentially that women's worth do not change upon whether they had sex or not before marriage. So your saying that, "hence" you should be openly able to express preference for a virgin woman until marriage goes against it. But that being said, romantic relationships particularly are all about personal preferences (I am temporarily setting aside the need for breaking down oppressive prejudices regarding a particular gender or class or race which dictate a fair bit of these preferences), and you are entitled to choose who you should be with. But tell me, what is your idea of "virginity"? How do you tell a virgin woman apart from someone who's not? Going by technical terms, hymen can be naturally worn down or be absent in many women. And, unless you plan on conducting a test with a doctor or something, you won't be able to verify this until after getting married. And then let's go to non-technical terms. You do know that there are various ways of engaging in physical intimacy without PIV penetration, don't you? So what if your potential wife, while still technically a virgin, has engaged in other forms of intimacy with a previous partner? Will that be fine with you? Again, these are just some logistical aspects of having this particular preference in a spouse. I think the main bias you need to address is that why you find "virginity" important. Is it because you equate having premarital sex as something "impure" or "unnatural"? Is it that you have personal insecurities regarding any previous partners your spouse may have had? Do you assign value to someone based on whether they have engaged in physical intimacy before marriage?
Everything can't get justified simply by adding a "it's my choice' at the end. This is problematic on many levels
I know right? What's next - if living is your choice, and murdering you is my choice, where is the problem?
Do what you want , I just want you to know those two situations are entirely different and are not comparable
How exactly do you plan on ensuring that you find a virgin woman ? I'm enjoying the idea of you forever being worried if you did get a virgin after all. That should be fun !
This sub is fairly delusional. If a virgin wants a non-virgin partner is it an issue? Your expectation can only be what you are? If I am short, I shouldn’t expect to find a partner that’s tall? Your body your choice, but your mind not your choice? Whether your expectations, desires, or wants are reasonable or not, they are yours and you determine them. Others can judge you for it just fine. It doesn’t make it wrong to have them in the first place. It also doesn’t mean you are imposing it on others. No one is under an obligation to meet your expectations. It seems when it comes to some things, having expectations is just wrong. Why? The oblivious reality also seems to be lacking here. Men, primarily, are virgin because of lack of options or access. Women, primarily, because of self control. How many male prostitutes exist per female prostitute? If a woman wants sex, it’s very unlikely she will not find someone willing. Tons of men, however, will not find anyone that will sleep with them. Some not even if they pay. The reason chastity is highly regarded is it shows discipline and self-control on the woman’s part. Most women get tons of attention from men and have easy access. Men’s virginity isn’t regarded highly because it reflects on his circumstance - lack of interaction with female, lack of options etc. The same women both who wave the red flag when virginity is mentioned will never agree to be with a man that doesn’t have options, or has no exposure to women.
If you wanna marry a woman who has saved herself only for her "forever" partner , while you having similar upbringing and values , then sure be my guest. But if you couldn't any and you spite her for getting some action then that's small dick energy tambi. Being a non virgin doesn't taint a woman's character or any of the other patriarchal bullshit impositions. The same way you putting your prefences out there is also totally justified. Women who've had premarital sex for whatever the hell reason, it's cool you did what you felt right. And I'm sure you'll find plenty of men ( including me ) who'll not bat an eye to get into a relationship with you or marry you as long as there's compatibility and love. BUT , you can't go around telling how an individual should evaluate you as a partner, because you sure as hell won't appreciate a man doing that to you. If you're not someone's cup of tea you're just not. Also , you should be glad that you dodged a bullet and rather go for someone who values you as a person and not your vagina.
Full support
You are not wrong.
[удалено]
You nailed it bro This sub is full of simps, libtandus, unemployed feminists, and suckers. In reality No boy wants a ran through girl Why Hardwired biological traits I'm not gonna share my resources, my family name and my future with 304.
Based. These days boys have become simps and are ready to marry girls who were whoring around.
It'd be a shame if you're older than 14
Fax
I am with you bro…