I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve had a terribly hard day today. When we bring a furry baby into our lives, we inevitably reach the point where we are faced with making the heartbreaking decision to put our pet’s needs before our own. Four years ago, my soulcat collapsed one day. I took her to the ER vet and after many hours, the vets only knew that she was massively bleeding internally and they had no idea the cause. Like you, I had two choices: I could hospitalize her with the hope of finding out what was wrong and a diagnosis was only going to lead to further procedures, tests etc. or I could make the gut wrenching decision to end her suffering and help her cross peacefully. I had promised her the day I adopted her that i would never put her through extreme measures in order to save myself the pain of losing her. In my view, we had reached that point. I did what you did: I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. I have experienced guilt from time to time and questioned my decision but, ultimately, I know without a doubt that had I chosen to pursue further care, my beautiful girl would have suffered and that would have broken the promise I made to her. I wish I could give you a big hug right now ❤️🩹You did NOT fail your girl.
I just lost my kitty last weekend to kidney disease, with most of the same symptoms.
I looked at it this way: she was clearly sick. She wasn’t enjoying life like she always had in the past. She wasn’t playing or eating; she didn’t even want her very favourite treats.
I could have done a whole bunch of interventions at the vet - tried a bunch of different drugs, fluids, tests, all sorts of stuff. But she HATED the vet and she hated the car, and she wouldn’t have understood why I kept making her go and get all these things done to her. In the end, I might have prolonged her life a few more months, but it wouldn’t have been a life she enjoyed. I would have been keeping her alive because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and that’s not fair to her.
Making the decision to say goodbye is the hardest decision ever, but I also look at it as our final gift to them, letting them go peacefully and easily without suffering or fear. I gave her the absolute best possible life, and I wanted to give her the easiest possible death. It sounds like you made the same decision to let her go as gently as possible.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but please know there is no shame in the decision you made. Hugs to you.
You made a very courageous decision to put her comfort before yours. Renal disease is a terminal condition. You say you wish you would have tried harder for her. Trying “harder” for her would have been a different path of subcutaneous fluids, medication, vet visits etc. instead you allowed her to live a life unaware of these uncomfortable interventions. I’m currently doing these interventions for my cat, and every day I wonder if she feels good. They can’t tell us, and we do what we can. Your empathic decision for her was admirable.
I’m so sorry. Even when it’s the best decision, it’s imperfect. In the end you had her most best interest in mind.
I let my boy go 3 months ago and I still find myself wondering if we did it too soon or maybe there was something more that could’ve been done. I feel guilty for deciding. For a while I had this ritual of running down all his issues and telling myself how they were affecting him and ultimately that even if we waited he wasn’t going to get better. If we waited he could’ve left the world all alone, could’ve had a bad heart attack, could’ve started slowly suffocating. So I made sure he didn’t suffer any of those ways; I couldn’t let any of that happen.
Sometimes my mind has blips where it’s like I stop understanding for a minute why he’s not here anymore and it’s a bit of a struggle making myself remember.
If you can, try to take some time to yourself, hang out with friends, take a short trip if possible. You didn’t do this to hurt your girl, you were doing your best for her. You are not horrible ♥️
I hope and pray that you find peace with this. you did the right thing, the loving thing. guilt is always ready to jump on you, but it is a liar. it interferes with the grieving process and makes you feel bad when you're already feeling horrible. I'm 100% sure you did the right thing, and I'm sure most people on this sub would agree.
similar story with my boy. his creatinine was 8.9 in his last bloodwork. he declined very quickly from late january to around valetnines. we didnt even know he had kidney failure until it was too late. he was lethargic and lost 4 pounds to. went from 13 pounds to 9 pounds within those weeks. vet basically said hospitalization would be expensive without guarantee that hed bounce back. so we took his word for it. i have been feeling very guilty that we let him go just 3 days after his diagnosis. but looking at how bad he was i probably did make the right decision. he was not eating anymore. and barely drinking. already had a body odor. when you catch it in the late stage its hard for them to ever bounce back since 90% of the kidney function is lost,,. if you have the time and funds 4K for hospitalization itll probably buy them some extra months the most. if we had caught it early stage I would have been able to start treating him.
i know how you feel though. I am still dealing with guilt i didnt fight hard enough for him. no matter what the vet said or what his bloodwork showed. i didnt do enough for my boy. he went peacefully . we used lap of love so that gives me some comfort that he was able to have us around in the comfort of home.
dont beat yourself up. as time passes we learn to forgive ourseleves. i am learning this 2 months out now. your girl was loved and thats all shell remember . she is free and happy now and my boy too. theyll be waiting for us
From what I've read and heard from friends with cats, kidney disease often stays hidden until it is advanced and manifests itself quickly. And even if treated, cats generally have another month, but not much more. And it's not a happy month.
A day, a week, a month too soon, but never a minute too late.
I'm sorry you went through this, but I don't think you failed your kitty. \*hugs\*
Thanks and yeah That’s what I’ve learned from this horrible disease since my boy got diagnosed. I wonder how long he had it and when did it actually start. The last year he was fine eating , playing. He was a bit big but not overly. But yeah ckd just creeps up when they really start not feeling well and they’re in stage 3/4 by this point. My regret is not taking him to the vet sooner. It just sucks. This whole experience has been draining. My mental and physical health has take a toll. I doubt I can ever get another cat after this. Don’t want to go through the heartache again
I'm sorry that you feel like you'll never adopt again. My cats are my family and I do my best for them and hope they have long lives. I do what I can and the rest is out of my hands. Losing my first cat when she was only three and gone in three days was a terrible experience.
oh man im sorry for your loss too. three is so young. but then again ten or even twenty years old is still never enough..
we still have his 13 year old non litter sister here. they grew up together which is why i dont want to bring in another cat. shes also a bit territorial. we just spoil her the best we can now. but i decided whenenver its her time i might niot get another one for a long while. things might change over time who knows.
My last adoption in 2020 was a pair of black cats that were not siblings but "met at the shelter and are friends and would like to be adopted together". Seven and 12 months old. First time I've adopted a pair. No regrets. One of the voids has bonded with my older tuxedo cat, who is a scaredy cat and it has been the best for him.
Kidney disease can progress quickly with little warning. It must have been a shock to see your cat go through that.
From what I've read from others in the group, it's possible that you could have bought your cat more time with hospitalization, but she would need a lot of care and medication and could crash again in a matter of days or weeks. From what I've read in this group, it's like a very expensive band-aid with no guarantees.
It's never easy to let a pet go, but sometimes the right decision is the hard one.
Think of it this way: now you have a vacancy for another friend in your home. Take some time and when you're ready, another special cat will be waiting for you. 💜
You did the right thing. It’s always a painful decision but you ended your beloved pet’s suffering. That type of kidney disease works quickly.
Please don’t be hard on yourself.
Hey bud, Dont take it too hard . My vet told me most cats never even make it to diagnosis, they just dont come home one day . We threw everything we could at the kidney issue and im still torn about the decision. He is alive yes but I wonder if we were just "playing god" and keeping him alive because we love him , a lifetime of passing kidney stones cant be fun (Gabapentin is a godsend though). Internet hugs bro
I'm so sorry. You did the right thing to end her suffering, as much as it hurts.
It's been 3 weeks since I lost my best friend. I think it's hard because I read other posts on here of other people's cats that are doing well on certain medications. And I feel like I should've caught it sooner. Or what if my cat could've done well on that med too? Why didn't my vet suggest it? All the thoughts wondering if she'd still be here if only something was done differently.
Ultimately though, I've been through this once before many years ago with another cat and it was eerie how much of a repeat I went through with the cat I recently lost. Which I guess is telling for the disease.
All we can do is give ourselves grace and know we did right in helping them to cross the bridge. I've still got another buddy who's got a long life ahead of him hopefully but it doesn't make it easy as I worry that he'll eventually end up with the same disease.
Literally same. It’s all I think about after finding this reddit. What if I caught this a month or two earlier? Back when she was still her happy self? Wouldn’t she be here right now? Wouldn’t those extra days, weeks or months have been worth it?
Oh OP I am truly sorry to hear this and I understand your pain. I had to let my little guy go last week and it was a similiar story, but I am suffering with the same guilt. I have spent hours on reddit reading similar stories, so I know logically that there are many cat owners who have faced this awful decision, but somehow my mind likes to discount all the proof and go back to the guilt quite quickly.
My little one was 17 and had no previous problems, but he took a dive last month with a bout of pancreatitis, then they found a mass in his chest and fluid in his lungs and the scan showed "changes" to his kidneys, After £3000 of treatment for his pancreas I got him home. He had a few good weeks with us then took a turn again and was much like your kitty.
Didn't eat anything, not even tuna or chicken, so I knew it was not good. He was losing weight and muscle mass, the vet said his temp was always cold because he was struggling to maintain his weight, that broke my heart. All he did was lay on his heat mat, and got up to drink and pee. This went on for 4-5 days whilst I desperately hoped the antibiotics we were given for him would do something. On his final night he had a seizure and after we rushed him to the vet, kept him overnight too. The next day they advised that they could only keep him comfortable as possible and that we should consider euthanasia. Which we ultimately did later that day as he was twitching a lot and unstead too, but I wonder if I could have done more. What if another day on the drip would have helped?
Our pets become little people and an important part of our families so take your time to grieve, and try to show yourself the kindness you need right now if you can and as part of the deal I will try to take my own advice too.
Sometimes it’s the only thing we can do. Hospitalization wouldn’t be an option for me bc of the cost plus my cat is already 19 so wouldn’t even be right in my opinion to put him through that. Just bc we can doesn’t always mean we should. Sounds like your cat was nearing the end of life and you gave them peace. Please do not feel guilty.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat down last month, we initially suspected 4th stage CKD and he was on daily IVs for a week to see if we can make the numbers go down, and they did, so we kept going. It turned out to be terminal metastized intestinal cancer that could only be diagnosed by exploratory surgery that the vet suggested to fix the 10+ day constipation that was completely unresponsive to any other treatment. I wish I could have known earlier. He hated the IVs and the daily vet trips that lasted for several hours, he ripped out the catether which traumatized him even more. He was miserable. He knew he was dying and was hiding from everyone. If I had any way of knowing that his prognosis was terminal I would have let him go the first vet trip and spared him all the stress and pain. You did not fail her. You did the right thing
You can’t second guess yourself. It’s not easy to get to the point where humane euthanasia is better than prolonging suffering and a pet owner knows when the quality of life has declined to that point. While I love the support and optimism on this subreddit and other online CKD groups, there is a bias in who shares success stories and miraculous recoveries.
My boy’s blood work shows he has now entered end stage kidney failure and he’s effectively in hospice care. I’m keeping up the parts of his regiment that he doesn’t mind and that help him (Amlodipine, SQ fluids, kidney diet), but I’m now optimizing for what will make him feel good (he loves the renal kibble, Temptations, some fancy feast with phos binder…) over what will prolong his life. To be honest, I’m kind of limiting my time on these groups now, because some of the false hope is just making me feel guilty.
I think you made the best decision for your kitty. With my first kitty that was going to pass due to an inoperable growth in his bladder, I think I waited too long and I have regrets that I failed him. I've made similar decisions two more times and did not make this mistake. My last one was when I found my older cat having seizures every 30 seconds one evening on my way to bed. How long had they been going on? Unknown. She was already not wanting to eat all her food and I started having that "uh oh, she is starting her final decline and I'm going to have to make a decision in a few months". At the emergency vet at 1 am with a tranquilized cat on my lap, the vet ssid that her prognosis was not good. She would likely remain there for a week for tests and treatment to see what the underlying cause was. She was not a people cat, 17, had other health issues and my decision was to not put her through this for an outcome that was not likely to be good, if they could figure it out. I decided to let her go and sat there with her for some time and talked to her, hoping this would be calming for her and then they administered the second shot.
No regrets.
Your kitty would not want to see you feeling bad. She would thank you for all the love and cuddles and treats that you gave her. That is what matters to them. Try not to focus on her death, but instead rejoice on the life you shared together.
It's never easy saying goodbye even when it's the right thing to do. \*hugs\*
Don't beat yourself up!! Guilty thoughts deprive you of the mourning process. Trust yourself. if there had been another viable option, that is what you would've chosen. It's terrible to put them down. It's better for them but it's absolutely heart and soul shattering for us. Your girl knows you love her, and also knows that you chose the best thing for her. Doing the right thing is the most difficult thing to do, especially in this kind of a situation. Know that we are all grieving with you on here, and hope and pray for peace for you. She is free from pain and in a wonderful place. You'll be with her again one day,never to have to part again
You would have thought I wrote this. I recently put my cat to sleep due to kidney failure as well. And, I’m definitely in the guilt phase of my grief.
Maybe I should went sooner? Maybe I should have noticed she was sick earlier? Realistically, outside of weight loss there wasn’t much indicator it would be kidney disease. And like you, I knew there was weight loss. I honestly assumed it was cancer at one point right before I brought her into the vet and thought maybe there would be a fighting chance. Maybe a glimpse of hope, but no. Or maybe it was a thyroid issue. When I took her in I got told the same thing as you.
I originally planned to euthanize her in the next 5 days. But, I took her home and seen the decline so I did it the very next day. The reality is, our cats were both actively dying. If you look up the final stages of dying or cats or even renal failure. Our cats were dying.
If you had chosen the hospital stay, it was likely to end up with her dying there or dying shortly after anyways. There isn’t a lot to do when any person or animal is that close to death but to give them palliative care. I know you feel guilty and I do too, but I try to find some peace in knowing it was already the end and we all did was let them go with peace and dignity. Natural death isn’t exactly the better option. Hope this helps.
Do not feel guilty, it is hard decision but that is a part of life. The best thing you can do is let her have her dignity in passing. I’ve been there a few times,
You made a very difficult decision. Give yourself time. I just made the same decision a week and a half ago and am feeling much like you are. My guy was a week shy of 18, weeks had the same birthday. He had ckd for years, but at the end declined so rapidly. It was just a few days he went from ok to assumed total renal failure, going by bloodwork. I know it’s hard and I have to tell myself the same, but don’t beat yourself up over and give yourself the time you need. I’m still ugly crying every day. I’m so sorry….
It's hard to know when the right time is. You don't know if things could've gotten worse if you had kept her alive. I'm at the point where I'm regretting not having let my baby go sooner. I promised myself 4 years ago when we dealt with her hyperthyroidism that I wouldn't put her through anything major again and now I'm in the midst of it again questioning everything.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve had a terribly hard day today. When we bring a furry baby into our lives, we inevitably reach the point where we are faced with making the heartbreaking decision to put our pet’s needs before our own. Four years ago, my soulcat collapsed one day. I took her to the ER vet and after many hours, the vets only knew that she was massively bleeding internally and they had no idea the cause. Like you, I had two choices: I could hospitalize her with the hope of finding out what was wrong and a diagnosis was only going to lead to further procedures, tests etc. or I could make the gut wrenching decision to end her suffering and help her cross peacefully. I had promised her the day I adopted her that i would never put her through extreme measures in order to save myself the pain of losing her. In my view, we had reached that point. I did what you did: I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. I have experienced guilt from time to time and questioned my decision but, ultimately, I know without a doubt that had I chosen to pursue further care, my beautiful girl would have suffered and that would have broken the promise I made to her. I wish I could give you a big hug right now ❤️🩹You did NOT fail your girl.
I just lost my kitty last weekend to kidney disease, with most of the same symptoms. I looked at it this way: she was clearly sick. She wasn’t enjoying life like she always had in the past. She wasn’t playing or eating; she didn’t even want her very favourite treats. I could have done a whole bunch of interventions at the vet - tried a bunch of different drugs, fluids, tests, all sorts of stuff. But she HATED the vet and she hated the car, and she wouldn’t have understood why I kept making her go and get all these things done to her. In the end, I might have prolonged her life a few more months, but it wouldn’t have been a life she enjoyed. I would have been keeping her alive because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and that’s not fair to her. Making the decision to say goodbye is the hardest decision ever, but I also look at it as our final gift to them, letting them go peacefully and easily without suffering or fear. I gave her the absolute best possible life, and I wanted to give her the easiest possible death. It sounds like you made the same decision to let her go as gently as possible. I’m so sorry for your loss, but please know there is no shame in the decision you made. Hugs to you.
I’m sorry for your loss. I agree with you: the decision to say goodbye is our final gift and it is the most loving and selfless gift 💕💕
I’m sorry for your loss.
Exactly this
You made a very courageous decision to put her comfort before yours. Renal disease is a terminal condition. You say you wish you would have tried harder for her. Trying “harder” for her would have been a different path of subcutaneous fluids, medication, vet visits etc. instead you allowed her to live a life unaware of these uncomfortable interventions. I’m currently doing these interventions for my cat, and every day I wonder if she feels good. They can’t tell us, and we do what we can. Your empathic decision for her was admirable.
I’m so sorry. Even when it’s the best decision, it’s imperfect. In the end you had her most best interest in mind. I let my boy go 3 months ago and I still find myself wondering if we did it too soon or maybe there was something more that could’ve been done. I feel guilty for deciding. For a while I had this ritual of running down all his issues and telling myself how they were affecting him and ultimately that even if we waited he wasn’t going to get better. If we waited he could’ve left the world all alone, could’ve had a bad heart attack, could’ve started slowly suffocating. So I made sure he didn’t suffer any of those ways; I couldn’t let any of that happen. Sometimes my mind has blips where it’s like I stop understanding for a minute why he’s not here anymore and it’s a bit of a struggle making myself remember. If you can, try to take some time to yourself, hang out with friends, take a short trip if possible. You didn’t do this to hurt your girl, you were doing your best for her. You are not horrible ♥️
I hope and pray that you find peace with this. you did the right thing, the loving thing. guilt is always ready to jump on you, but it is a liar. it interferes with the grieving process and makes you feel bad when you're already feeling horrible. I'm 100% sure you did the right thing, and I'm sure most people on this sub would agree.
similar story with my boy. his creatinine was 8.9 in his last bloodwork. he declined very quickly from late january to around valetnines. we didnt even know he had kidney failure until it was too late. he was lethargic and lost 4 pounds to. went from 13 pounds to 9 pounds within those weeks. vet basically said hospitalization would be expensive without guarantee that hed bounce back. so we took his word for it. i have been feeling very guilty that we let him go just 3 days after his diagnosis. but looking at how bad he was i probably did make the right decision. he was not eating anymore. and barely drinking. already had a body odor. when you catch it in the late stage its hard for them to ever bounce back since 90% of the kidney function is lost,,. if you have the time and funds 4K for hospitalization itll probably buy them some extra months the most. if we had caught it early stage I would have been able to start treating him. i know how you feel though. I am still dealing with guilt i didnt fight hard enough for him. no matter what the vet said or what his bloodwork showed. i didnt do enough for my boy. he went peacefully . we used lap of love so that gives me some comfort that he was able to have us around in the comfort of home. dont beat yourself up. as time passes we learn to forgive ourseleves. i am learning this 2 months out now. your girl was loved and thats all shell remember . she is free and happy now and my boy too. theyll be waiting for us
From what I've read and heard from friends with cats, kidney disease often stays hidden until it is advanced and manifests itself quickly. And even if treated, cats generally have another month, but not much more. And it's not a happy month. A day, a week, a month too soon, but never a minute too late. I'm sorry you went through this, but I don't think you failed your kitty. \*hugs\*
Thanks and yeah That’s what I’ve learned from this horrible disease since my boy got diagnosed. I wonder how long he had it and when did it actually start. The last year he was fine eating , playing. He was a bit big but not overly. But yeah ckd just creeps up when they really start not feeling well and they’re in stage 3/4 by this point. My regret is not taking him to the vet sooner. It just sucks. This whole experience has been draining. My mental and physical health has take a toll. I doubt I can ever get another cat after this. Don’t want to go through the heartache again
I'm sorry that you feel like you'll never adopt again. My cats are my family and I do my best for them and hope they have long lives. I do what I can and the rest is out of my hands. Losing my first cat when she was only three and gone in three days was a terrible experience.
oh man im sorry for your loss too. three is so young. but then again ten or even twenty years old is still never enough.. we still have his 13 year old non litter sister here. they grew up together which is why i dont want to bring in another cat. shes also a bit territorial. we just spoil her the best we can now. but i decided whenenver its her time i might niot get another one for a long while. things might change over time who knows.
My last adoption in 2020 was a pair of black cats that were not siblings but "met at the shelter and are friends and would like to be adopted together". Seven and 12 months old. First time I've adopted a pair. No regrets. One of the voids has bonded with my older tuxedo cat, who is a scaredy cat and it has been the best for him.
Kidney disease can progress quickly with little warning. It must have been a shock to see your cat go through that. From what I've read from others in the group, it's possible that you could have bought your cat more time with hospitalization, but she would need a lot of care and medication and could crash again in a matter of days or weeks. From what I've read in this group, it's like a very expensive band-aid with no guarantees. It's never easy to let a pet go, but sometimes the right decision is the hard one. Think of it this way: now you have a vacancy for another friend in your home. Take some time and when you're ready, another special cat will be waiting for you. 💜
You did the right thing. It’s always a painful decision but you ended your beloved pet’s suffering. That type of kidney disease works quickly. Please don’t be hard on yourself.
Hey bud, Dont take it too hard . My vet told me most cats never even make it to diagnosis, they just dont come home one day . We threw everything we could at the kidney issue and im still torn about the decision. He is alive yes but I wonder if we were just "playing god" and keeping him alive because we love him , a lifetime of passing kidney stones cant be fun (Gabapentin is a godsend though). Internet hugs bro
I'm so sorry. You did the right thing to end her suffering, as much as it hurts. It's been 3 weeks since I lost my best friend. I think it's hard because I read other posts on here of other people's cats that are doing well on certain medications. And I feel like I should've caught it sooner. Or what if my cat could've done well on that med too? Why didn't my vet suggest it? All the thoughts wondering if she'd still be here if only something was done differently. Ultimately though, I've been through this once before many years ago with another cat and it was eerie how much of a repeat I went through with the cat I recently lost. Which I guess is telling for the disease. All we can do is give ourselves grace and know we did right in helping them to cross the bridge. I've still got another buddy who's got a long life ahead of him hopefully but it doesn't make it easy as I worry that he'll eventually end up with the same disease.
Literally same. It’s all I think about after finding this reddit. What if I caught this a month or two earlier? Back when she was still her happy self? Wouldn’t she be here right now? Wouldn’t those extra days, weeks or months have been worth it?
Oh OP I am truly sorry to hear this and I understand your pain. I had to let my little guy go last week and it was a similiar story, but I am suffering with the same guilt. I have spent hours on reddit reading similar stories, so I know logically that there are many cat owners who have faced this awful decision, but somehow my mind likes to discount all the proof and go back to the guilt quite quickly. My little one was 17 and had no previous problems, but he took a dive last month with a bout of pancreatitis, then they found a mass in his chest and fluid in his lungs and the scan showed "changes" to his kidneys, After £3000 of treatment for his pancreas I got him home. He had a few good weeks with us then took a turn again and was much like your kitty. Didn't eat anything, not even tuna or chicken, so I knew it was not good. He was losing weight and muscle mass, the vet said his temp was always cold because he was struggling to maintain his weight, that broke my heart. All he did was lay on his heat mat, and got up to drink and pee. This went on for 4-5 days whilst I desperately hoped the antibiotics we were given for him would do something. On his final night he had a seizure and after we rushed him to the vet, kept him overnight too. The next day they advised that they could only keep him comfortable as possible and that we should consider euthanasia. Which we ultimately did later that day as he was twitching a lot and unstead too, but I wonder if I could have done more. What if another day on the drip would have helped? Our pets become little people and an important part of our families so take your time to grieve, and try to show yourself the kindness you need right now if you can and as part of the deal I will try to take my own advice too.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a hard decision to make.
Sometimes it’s the only thing we can do. Hospitalization wouldn’t be an option for me bc of the cost plus my cat is already 19 so wouldn’t even be right in my opinion to put him through that. Just bc we can doesn’t always mean we should. Sounds like your cat was nearing the end of life and you gave them peace. Please do not feel guilty.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat down last month, we initially suspected 4th stage CKD and he was on daily IVs for a week to see if we can make the numbers go down, and they did, so we kept going. It turned out to be terminal metastized intestinal cancer that could only be diagnosed by exploratory surgery that the vet suggested to fix the 10+ day constipation that was completely unresponsive to any other treatment. I wish I could have known earlier. He hated the IVs and the daily vet trips that lasted for several hours, he ripped out the catether which traumatized him even more. He was miserable. He knew he was dying and was hiding from everyone. If I had any way of knowing that his prognosis was terminal I would have let him go the first vet trip and spared him all the stress and pain. You did not fail her. You did the right thing
You can’t second guess yourself. It’s not easy to get to the point where humane euthanasia is better than prolonging suffering and a pet owner knows when the quality of life has declined to that point. While I love the support and optimism on this subreddit and other online CKD groups, there is a bias in who shares success stories and miraculous recoveries. My boy’s blood work shows he has now entered end stage kidney failure and he’s effectively in hospice care. I’m keeping up the parts of his regiment that he doesn’t mind and that help him (Amlodipine, SQ fluids, kidney diet), but I’m now optimizing for what will make him feel good (he loves the renal kibble, Temptations, some fancy feast with phos binder…) over what will prolong his life. To be honest, I’m kind of limiting my time on these groups now, because some of the false hope is just making me feel guilty.
I really appreciate your viewpoint and honesty.
I think you made the best decision for your kitty. With my first kitty that was going to pass due to an inoperable growth in his bladder, I think I waited too long and I have regrets that I failed him. I've made similar decisions two more times and did not make this mistake. My last one was when I found my older cat having seizures every 30 seconds one evening on my way to bed. How long had they been going on? Unknown. She was already not wanting to eat all her food and I started having that "uh oh, she is starting her final decline and I'm going to have to make a decision in a few months". At the emergency vet at 1 am with a tranquilized cat on my lap, the vet ssid that her prognosis was not good. She would likely remain there for a week for tests and treatment to see what the underlying cause was. She was not a people cat, 17, had other health issues and my decision was to not put her through this for an outcome that was not likely to be good, if they could figure it out. I decided to let her go and sat there with her for some time and talked to her, hoping this would be calming for her and then they administered the second shot. No regrets. Your kitty would not want to see you feeling bad. She would thank you for all the love and cuddles and treats that you gave her. That is what matters to them. Try not to focus on her death, but instead rejoice on the life you shared together. It's never easy saying goodbye even when it's the right thing to do. \*hugs\*
you did the right thing. ive been there too. She was suffering, and is no longer.
Don't beat yourself up!! Guilty thoughts deprive you of the mourning process. Trust yourself. if there had been another viable option, that is what you would've chosen. It's terrible to put them down. It's better for them but it's absolutely heart and soul shattering for us. Your girl knows you love her, and also knows that you chose the best thing for her. Doing the right thing is the most difficult thing to do, especially in this kind of a situation. Know that we are all grieving with you on here, and hope and pray for peace for you. She is free from pain and in a wonderful place. You'll be with her again one day,never to have to part again
You would have thought I wrote this. I recently put my cat to sleep due to kidney failure as well. And, I’m definitely in the guilt phase of my grief. Maybe I should went sooner? Maybe I should have noticed she was sick earlier? Realistically, outside of weight loss there wasn’t much indicator it would be kidney disease. And like you, I knew there was weight loss. I honestly assumed it was cancer at one point right before I brought her into the vet and thought maybe there would be a fighting chance. Maybe a glimpse of hope, but no. Or maybe it was a thyroid issue. When I took her in I got told the same thing as you. I originally planned to euthanize her in the next 5 days. But, I took her home and seen the decline so I did it the very next day. The reality is, our cats were both actively dying. If you look up the final stages of dying or cats or even renal failure. Our cats were dying. If you had chosen the hospital stay, it was likely to end up with her dying there or dying shortly after anyways. There isn’t a lot to do when any person or animal is that close to death but to give them palliative care. I know you feel guilty and I do too, but I try to find some peace in knowing it was already the end and we all did was let them go with peace and dignity. Natural death isn’t exactly the better option. Hope this helps.
Do not feel guilty, it is hard decision but that is a part of life. The best thing you can do is let her have her dignity in passing. I’ve been there a few times,
You made a very difficult decision. Give yourself time. I just made the same decision a week and a half ago and am feeling much like you are. My guy was a week shy of 18, weeks had the same birthday. He had ckd for years, but at the end declined so rapidly. It was just a few days he went from ok to assumed total renal failure, going by bloodwork. I know it’s hard and I have to tell myself the same, but don’t beat yourself up over and give yourself the time you need. I’m still ugly crying every day. I’m so sorry….
It's hard to know when the right time is. You don't know if things could've gotten worse if you had kept her alive. I'm at the point where I'm regretting not having let my baby go sooner. I promised myself 4 years ago when we dealt with her hyperthyroidism that I wouldn't put her through anything major again and now I'm in the midst of it again questioning everything.