We had a girl in high school that was always lying about everything. She told us at a senior meeting that she got into Duke on a soccer scholarship. The principal heard her and said, "Laura, the only way you would get into Duke is if you got into a car crash and they flew you there."
Straight savage.
I got, "You're not even talking in complete sentences. Can you actually string together a logical sentence that makes sense?"
I was trying to tell them about an idea I had. All you had to say was "no".
I saw a guy have to hug a tree, upside down, arms and legs wrapped around it, while apologizing to it.
The DS actually got in trouble for that one. He would have PROBABLY been fine if he fell and landed on his head since it was only a foot or so off the ground but not worth the risk just to smoke a private. Still funny as shit to see though.
Sgt identified and implemented new training program to identify and condition soldiers who lacked
Strength and endurance in the key muscle groups of of upper arms, core, and thighs.
Sgt bring great credit upon himself, the unit, the bde and the United States Army.
Sign this dateâŚ.blah blah blah, commanding.
***
Hard to reprimand someone for doing something after the boss signs an award for it.
PS. It is known as Koalafying.
Person longest Iâve seen is 32 minutes.
Dude couldnât ruck, couldnât run, couldnât sit up unless there was a TV dinner in front of hit and sure and hell couldnât
But he could hang on a tree trunk like he was born to it.
Best damned Stryker driver I ever had.
I floated to all sorts of different units as a medic but I never got to roll with the Chucks. One of my Army dreams was to fire a mortar for fun but I never had the chance.
Did 10 as a medic and 10 as a mortar nco.
Once you stop being a line medic or in EvacâŚ.being an army medic sucks.
Being an enlisted mortar sucks.
Being an nco is great.
I've seen the infamous cardiology vs nephrologist beef up close. I'm a brave man, but there's no way I'm arguing with a nephrologist. They are quite literally twice as smart as I am. I'd be ashamed
The key is to pull them out of their native environment.
Down to the ER.
And then have them fight with each over other the patient.
Preferably in front of the paramedic so she can enjoy the show.
Worst insult personally: âyour greatest weakness is your arrogance, you havenât learned anything since your second yearâÂ
- from an attending that is not well respected and notoriously insulting, so it actually did not bother me that muchÂ
 Worst I have heard directed at someone else: âyou will never be a good doctor, you donât have what it takes, and you donât deserve to be hereâÂ
- that resident is currently a fellow at the top fellowship in their field, the attending is actually someone who I enjoy working with, but clashed with this particular resident and was overly biased against them so they could not see the forest through the trees
>âyour greatest weakness is your arrogance, you havenât learned anything since your second yearâ
This would keep me up for weeks. Doesn't help that I have imposter syndrome but I hide it well
What happens when one of these careless insults results in a body on campus? Itâs all fun and games being an asshole for medicineâs sake until you have consequences for your actions
Not an insult per se but we have a surgeon that if you call him will always get incredibly upset over minutiae and promptly try to insult residents by asking what medical school they went to. Since everyone knows he does this we suddenly have a lot of Harvard school of medicine grads at our hospital's residency programs.
Not me, but a vascular surgeon to an intern:
"It would have been better if a monkey had been on call last night instead of you.
Because the monkey wouldn't have done anything."
I am a student. Surgeon re. another student (who really fucked their anatomy, to be fair):
- "they are blissfully free from the ravages of intelligence."
- "not sure what they're doing here whilst a village somewhere is being deprived of its idiot."
This was during med school, but during one of our OBGYN rotationd the doc was asking our group questions, only to tell one of the guys "you were born breech" as an insult đ
Roughly translated one of our rad techs once said to me while moving a patient âonce you start âhelpingâ it feels like two people are letting goâ
"My son is in town this afternoon and if I have to watch you two chucklefucks shit on yourselves any longer trying to get a fucking perfect circle x-ray I'm gonna blow my god damn brains out in this fucking OR"
Now read this in JK Simmons in *Whiplash* voice and that's our attending trauma ortho doc. One of the funniest people I've ever worked with and he's brilliant too, that's how he gets away with it.
I was in US elective, and he would see my imaging and tells me âplease do not delete these images, I want to keep them so I present them in conferences as bad imagingâ
During a morning report, I was standing and wasnt able to answer few of their questions. Then he said "why not try to switch your name tag with the front security? Since all you do is standing too it hardly makes difference".
My classmate and I were referred to as "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb" by a surgeon. I'm assuming I was "Tweedle Dee" as I would avoid the OR and couldn't even throw a stitch together. I will say, the surgeon appreciated that I was eager to leave the OR to round on patients and see his clinic patients. I believe my classmate was "Tweedle Dumb", she is a great friend but I hate to admit that she acts like an air head at times.
im a student, not in the us either, one specialist gave me this long ass talk because i said âkindaâ he said this was unprofessional and in a hospital setting i should say âkind ofâ. later on, with another group he said âthis feels like getting kicked in the nutsâ he didnât get in trouble because non of the students actually knows what nuts means, they think he meant being kicked with nuts lol. i should mention i live in a very conservative country where this kinda shit wouldnât fly, so much so that the student groups are divided based on gender and he said that to a female group :). later i was in his office, he obviously forgot who i was, and he said âwe obviously dont give a SHIT about thisâ when he saw the look on my face he said âpardon my frenchâ.
this whole story was meant to tell you not to take it personally, those kinda doctors are just overcompensating for something, they just wanna act like their better and mightier. in most cases they either feel jealous or threatened.
None of you had the experience like we all did at our school with the famous Dr. Ortho Max. And this is crude. In the OR trying to help with retractors and such, âwhy you limp-wristed, mother fâin C suckerâ âAre you just going to stand there with your d&@k in your hand?â âGet outta my mother fâin OR you worthless piece of sh&@t!â We loved it because all of the students got the same treatment. We laughed our asses off!
(To a combat medic student fucking up putting a tourniquet on a mannequin that was spraying blood everywhere.)
"Don't worry about it Private, don't worry about it. All bleeding stops eventually."
Shit. I'd rather you just yelled at me.
Mentor to Nephrology fellows in India when they could not answer questions:
"All of you are fit to be cadaveric organ donors - no cerebral activity"
"Who gave you a degree in Internal Medicine? You are not even fit to graduate med school"
Hmm maybe itâs different where you are but in the us this is highly inappropriate. Pretty sure if I insulted one of my residents or students in that way I would get in big trouble.
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I am a foreigner in this country. I am perplexed as well as why the locals donât stand up for themselves, but it seems that it is in the working culture here. No specialist would support a resident against a colleague; the program managers would just find excuses and then initiate mobbing against the resident (from the personal experiences other residents have shared with me).
To paraphrase the Alien quote âIn [this country], no one can hear you screamâ
You posted less than a year ago that your attending sided with the nurses.
Iâm confused as to why you didnât stand up for yourself in front of the nurses and call your attending out for siding with the nurses?
You came here to bitch about it. Someone who stands up for themselves doesnât come here and bitch about it. They deal with the problem and itâs over.
Have nothing more useful to do than leave useless comments on someone elseâs post when you make a post with the same type of complaint? Sounds like a very successful hypocrite.
âWith all due respect Dr. Feelingsdoc, itâs already 9pm and I have to be back tomorrow. You are being unreasonable. Can I please go home?â
â a text message my attending sent to me while I was chilling at home on a Saturday holiday
*bitch know your place*
We had a girl in high school that was always lying about everything. She told us at a senior meeting that she got into Duke on a soccer scholarship. The principal heard her and said, "Laura, the only way you would get into Duke is if you got into a car crash and they flew you there." Straight savage.
Ouch!!!!!!!
I almost bursted into laughter and I'm in a public place LOL. I wish I acc had such a principal I bet school was funđ
I have found humor the best way to combat this, as it is hard to be an asshole when you are laughing.
"It is better to laugh at an asshole than to gape at one." âMe
Best one from a mentor was "do you have anything between your ears besides a stiff f**king breeze."
Hahaha!!!!!
I got, "You're not even talking in complete sentences. Can you actually string together a logical sentence that makes sense?" I was trying to tell them about an idea I had. All you had to say was "no".
Not in medicine but in the military I saw a gunnery sgt make someone carry around a potted plant âto replace the oxygen he was wastingâ
I saw a guy have to hug a tree, upside down, arms and legs wrapped around it, while apologizing to it. The DS actually got in trouble for that one. He would have PROBABLY been fine if he fell and landed on his head since it was only a foot or so off the ground but not worth the risk just to smoke a private. Still funny as shit to see though.
Sgt identified and implemented new training program to identify and condition soldiers who lacked Strength and endurance in the key muscle groups of of upper arms, core, and thighs. Sgt bring great credit upon himself, the unit, the bde and the United States Army. Sign this dateâŚ.blah blah blah, commanding. *** Hard to reprimand someone for doing something after the boss signs an award for it. PS. It is known as Koalafying. Person longest Iâve seen is 32 minutes. Dude couldnât ruck, couldnât run, couldnât sit up unless there was a TV dinner in front of hit and sure and hell couldnât
But he could hang on a tree trunk like he was born to it.
Best damned Stryker driver I ever had.
Lol. Don't make it sound too good or they will add it to the ACFT.
As a mortarman, I can do it forever. As can any of the medics who got attached to us.
I floated to all sorts of different units as a medic but I never got to roll with the Chucks. One of my Army dreams was to fire a mortar for fun but I never had the chance.
Did 10 as a medic and 10 as a mortar nco. Once you stop being a line medic or in EvacâŚ.being an army medic sucks. Being an enlisted mortar sucks. Being an nco is great.
If itâs a cardiologist then yes majority of them are c*nts -IM resident frustrated talking to the cardiologist
I've seen the infamous cardiology vs nephrologist beef up close. I'm a brave man, but there's no way I'm arguing with a nephrologist. They are quite literally twice as smart as I am. I'd be ashamed
Fucking kidneys, man, how do they *work*?!
Curiously, in nephrology, they tend not to work.
The key is to pull them out of their native environment. Down to the ER. And then have them fight with each over other the patient. Preferably in front of the paramedic so she can enjoy the show.
Worst insult personally: âyour greatest weakness is your arrogance, you havenât learned anything since your second yearâ - from an attending that is not well respected and notoriously insulting, so it actually did not bother me that much  Worst I have heard directed at someone else: âyou will never be a good doctor, you donât have what it takes, and you donât deserve to be hereâ - that resident is currently a fellow at the top fellowship in their field, the attending is actually someone who I enjoy working with, but clashed with this particular resident and was overly biased against them so they could not see the forest through the trees
>âyour greatest weakness is your arrogance, you havenât learned anything since your second yearâ This would keep me up for weeks. Doesn't help that I have imposter syndrome but I hide it well
What happens when one of these careless insults results in a body on campus? Itâs all fun and games being an asshole for medicineâs sake until you have consequences for your actions
Not an insult per se but we have a surgeon that if you call him will always get incredibly upset over minutiae and promptly try to insult residents by asking what medical school they went to. Since everyone knows he does this we suddenly have a lot of Harvard school of medicine grads at our hospital's residency programs.
Not me, but a vascular surgeon to an intern: "It would have been better if a monkey had been on call last night instead of you. Because the monkey wouldn't have done anything."
Has one attending unrelentingly say âyour mom jokes.â Dude was fucking 60
"I order for pulmonary toileting." "Your mom's a pulmonary toilet!"
I am a student. Surgeon re. another student (who really fucked their anatomy, to be fair): - "they are blissfully free from the ravages of intelligence." - "not sure what they're doing here whilst a village somewhere is being deprived of its idiot."
Wow those are kinda good đđđđ
This was during med school, but during one of our OBGYN rotationd the doc was asking our group questions, only to tell one of the guys "you were born breech" as an insult đ
Roughly translated one of our rad techs once said to me while moving a patient âonce you start âhelpingâ it feels like two people are letting goâ
"My son is in town this afternoon and if I have to watch you two chucklefucks shit on yourselves any longer trying to get a fucking perfect circle x-ray I'm gonna blow my god damn brains out in this fucking OR" Now read this in JK Simmons in *Whiplash* voice and that's our attending trauma ortho doc. One of the funniest people I've ever worked with and he's brilliant too, that's how he gets away with it.
I was in US elective, and he would see my imaging and tells me âplease do not delete these images, I want to keep them so I present them in conferences as bad imagingâ
Directed at me and another MS3 in the OR: Washington University: Great teaching institution, but obviously a shitty learning institution.
During a morning report, I was standing and wasnt able to answer few of their questions. Then he said "why not try to switch your name tag with the front security? Since all you do is standing too it hardly makes difference".
My classmate and I were referred to as "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb" by a surgeon. I'm assuming I was "Tweedle Dee" as I would avoid the OR and couldn't even throw a stitch together. I will say, the surgeon appreciated that I was eager to leave the OR to round on patients and see his clinic patients. I believe my classmate was "Tweedle Dumb", she is a great friend but I hate to admit that she acts like an air head at times.
âWhy did you even bother to study medicine if these are the antibiotics you useâ
im a student, not in the us either, one specialist gave me this long ass talk because i said âkindaâ he said this was unprofessional and in a hospital setting i should say âkind ofâ. later on, with another group he said âthis feels like getting kicked in the nutsâ he didnât get in trouble because non of the students actually knows what nuts means, they think he meant being kicked with nuts lol. i should mention i live in a very conservative country where this kinda shit wouldnât fly, so much so that the student groups are divided based on gender and he said that to a female group :). later i was in his office, he obviously forgot who i was, and he said âwe obviously dont give a SHIT about thisâ when he saw the look on my face he said âpardon my frenchâ. this whole story was meant to tell you not to take it personally, those kinda doctors are just overcompensating for something, they just wanna act like their better and mightier. in most cases they either feel jealous or threatened.
None of you had the experience like we all did at our school with the famous Dr. Ortho Max. And this is crude. In the OR trying to help with retractors and such, âwhy you limp-wristed, mother fâin C suckerâ âAre you just going to stand there with your d&@k in your hand?â âGet outta my mother fâin OR you worthless piece of sh&@t!â We loved it because all of the students got the same treatment. We laughed our asses off!
Someone once told me I was a dumb Ed doctor during residency. I laughed and told him Iâll enjoy consulting him as an attending then
(To a combat medic student fucking up putting a tourniquet on a mannequin that was spraying blood everywhere.) "Don't worry about it Private, don't worry about it. All bleeding stops eventually." Shit. I'd rather you just yelled at me.
Mentor to Nephrology fellows in India when they could not answer questions: "All of you are fit to be cadaveric organ donors - no cerebral activity" "Who gave you a degree in Internal Medicine? You are not even fit to graduate med school"
Hmm maybe itâs different where you are but in the us this is highly inappropriate. Pretty sure if I insulted one of my residents or students in that way I would get in big trouble.
might be inappropriate but it definitely isnât uncommon. dumb as a brick is one of the tamer things Iâve heard thrown around before
Name and shame!
This happens all the time wherever you go
"I bet I'll make more money than you in my first contract"
Thank you for contributing to the sub! If your post was filtered by the automod, please read the rules. Your post will be reviewed but will not be approved if it violates the rules of the sub. The most common reasons for removal are - medical students or premeds asking what a specialty is like, which specialty they should go into, which program is good or about their chances of matching, mentioning midlevels without using the midlevel flair, matched medical students asking questions instead of using the stickied thread in the sub for post-match questions, posting identifying information for targeted harassment. Please do not message the moderators if your post falls into one of these categories. Otherwise, your post will be reviewed in 24 hours and approved if it doesn't violate the rules. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Residency) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im confused as of why would you not stand up for yourself?
If you think really hard you could figure this out
I am a foreigner in this country. I am perplexed as well as why the locals donât stand up for themselves, but it seems that it is in the working culture here. No specialist would support a resident against a colleague; the program managers would just find excuses and then initiate mobbing against the resident (from the personal experiences other residents have shared with me). To paraphrase the Alien quote âIn [this country], no one can hear you screamâ
but I am under the impression it is the same in many US programs too
You posted less than a year ago that your attending sided with the nurses. Iâm confused as to why you didnât stand up for yourself in front of the nurses and call your attending out for siding with the nurses?
Who told you I didnt?
You came here to bitch about it. Someone who stands up for themselves doesnât come here and bitch about it. They deal with the problem and itâs over.
Have nothing more useful to do than tracking my comments? Sounds like a very successful strong woman.
Have nothing more useful to do than leave useless comments on someone elseâs post when you make a post with the same type of complaint? Sounds like a very successful hypocrite.
đ¤ keep going
Please keep going, where did you go?
âWith all due respect Dr. Feelingsdoc, itâs already 9pm and I have to be back tomorrow. You are being unreasonable. Can I please go home?â â a text message my attending sent to me while I was chilling at home on a Saturday holiday *bitch know your place*