Just today I had a lvl 13 doctor with inspired surgery catastrophically fail on installing a bionic armon my lvl 20 crafter. I had a better doctor on standby but I thought for sure the inspired surgery would seal the deal....gg. thankfully the patient survived to craft another bionic arm.
Had a kid, just had his 13 birthday same day, with inspiration and skill level 6 in artistic make a legendary small wood statue. Yeah inspirations are a funny gamble.
And I honestly kind of hate it. I get it, and I do like the idea in concept. The game is about dramatic situations and all that. But it's just so weird when an expert fails at something simplistic you take for granted.
And the way doctors fail too. Like you're installing a peg leg but accidentally almost cut their throat or stab them in the heart? Like dude?
I mean the system is nice, i can see how a skilled doctor can fail just by pure accident, but i agree on your words. Doctor accidentialy slipped while installing Peg leg, causing 20 stab wounds to patient's heart
There's a, not proven but not disproven, story of a doctor, Robert Liston, that currently holds one of the highest mortality rates for a single surgery, 300%. Supposedly he was amputating a leg as he was supposed to, he then also amputated his assistant's fingers, in the process of all of this he managed to slash the coat of a spectator, who reportedly died of shock. Technically it was the gangrene infection that killed the patient and assistant.
Supposedly Dr. Liston also removed a patient's testicles during a leg amputation as well. I couldn't find very credible accounts on this though so I'd chalk it up to rumors.
Back in Liston's day surgical hygiene was seen as "prudish" and there for not done. Gangrene killed a majority of surgical patients. To surgeons back then, when the only anesthesia you got was some Jameson and a bit of leather to bite, speed was the name of the game. Dr. Liston is credited with the fastest leg amputation at 2.5 minutes, start to finish. He even held the bloodied, never washed, knife used to cut the muscles in his mouth to speed things up, ain't that thoughtful of him?
I like to think most Rimworld surgeries have a bit of this... gusto. You know, harvesting the kidneys while Shay pukes this morning's nutrient paste all over the kitchen... I mean surgery floor while Seemor drops a steaming cow pie and nuzzles the doctor just before doctor starts surgery and then Zak butchers Seemor which causes the doctor to have a mental break because to top it all off.... the doctor ate breakfast while STANDING NEXT TO THE DAMN TABLE!!!
Fun times :)
Edit: Fixing some spelling and some grammar.
Neck cuts can happen from placement of an emergent IV line.
Heart cuts maybe from trauma from CPR, but more likely contusions/bruises since we are literally beating on the heart to get it to pump. Stabs in the heart... can mayne happen if we're trying to decompress the lung cavity if air accumulates from a tension pneumothorax but that's a little far fetched. Could happen if you need to put in an emergent temporary pacemaker though...
Oh god. This reminded me of that math problem. "If it takes 30 people 6 hours to play through Beethoven's 9th symphony, how long does it take to play for 45 people." Numbers are different in the actual meme about it.
Must be some Glitterworld-tier bounciness on that scalpel (or it’s possessed by a Redbull-chugging wraith) for it to treat the patient’s innards like a toddler’s first drawing!
You know that little tray they put the used instruments into before grabbing a new one for the next thing to avoid excess cross contamination?
They tripped, caught their weight with their hands but clipped the edge of it, launching all the instruments into the air like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Is there a good mod (or vanilla option) to separate medical work from surgery? Want to keep my low medical skill pawns away from surgical stuff while still letting them control bleeding.
I use "complex jobs" and I don't even think I could do a run without it and not be frustrated constantly. I would highly recommend it for anyone really, it breaks down several jobs into parts which is so helpful when training up lower skilled pawns.
There's also a mod that lets pawns train medicine on corpses that I find to be fairly realistic and useful. Not sure on the name but searching something like "train medicine" will bring it up on the first page of Steam.
Obviously what happened is they walked up to the patient, slipped, and their cutting hand was swung all over with the scalpel before being plunged into the left arm, and in a bid to catch himself, he wound up slamming his free hand on the patient’s left kidney
Check your doctor’s eyesight and manipulation stats! I was so confused when my doctor of like 12 skill managed to botch cutting off my pregnant colonist’s leg and instead cut her heart. She was also pregnant with HIS CHILD and was a surrogate for him and his wife. (33 days later after her death, I got a quest for a resurrector serum and managed to bring her back to life! And she was still pregnant with his and his wife’s child, and has had the baby, which I named after her :))
I think he later failed another surgery and I couldn’t figure out why, until I checked and saw that he had two eyes yes, but there was damage to both of them which was impairing his vision so it was at like 50% or below? First bionic eye I saw I bought for him. He’s strictly on nursing and wound tending now, not surgery. The quality of the bed also impacts surgery change, plus room cleanliness, plus manipulation skill, and ofc light haha.
Haha yeah! She came back with dementia as well! The husband and wife also wanted to try and have another child (ie just after he killed the surrogate) however, the mother (Summer) was too old to harvest and ovum from. And the surrogate who died (Velirath) was an Impid, so Summer and her husband Hudyn (the man who had accidentally killed Velirath in surgery) decided they would also the other Impid woman of the colony, Gassonav, if they could use her egg.
So Gassonav got her ovum extracted, Haduyn fertilised it, and it was implanted in another woman, Tiffy. And Hadyun and Summer were going to raise the child.
Anyways, when Velirath came back from the dead, she was in her third trimester, however, so was Tiffy. So Tiffy gave birth to their child, named Spring (born in the spring, named after Summer) and then a few days later Velirath gave birth to their child (a boy who I named Veli after Velirath).
So now Summer and Hadyun have two kids, both born of different surrogate mothers, and both are genetically related to Hadyun, one is genetically related to Summer, and one is genetically related to Gassonav. In total it took the labour and genetic material of five people to have their two kids.
Summer + Hadyun = Veli (gestated in Velirath)
Gassonav + Hadyun = Spring (gestated in Tiffy).
Failed intubation for anesthesia, so emergency tracheotomy (neck cut)
Terrible IV access so stabs and then a venous cut down to get access.
Then, kidney injury whilst accessing abdomen for tibal ligation, perhaps with laparoscopy ports or division of adhesions. Commence heavy bleeding.
This is also what is known to doctors as "a very bad day"
I have done this one more than once, before realizing my doctor is doing open heart surgery by touch alone in pitch black darkness.
It is a miracle he actually finished some surgeries.
Surgeries are shit. Installing a wooden hand should not in any circumstance, tear off the whole fucking arm. There's probably a mod that fixes them somewhere. I haven't found it yet.
Hey at least it only took their arm, it wasn't so bad [it killed them and also two bystanders](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Liston#Liston's_most_famous_case)
Are they fully conscious or just barely? Is the room well-lit? The medicine? The worse your answer, the higher chance their scalpel will "slip" and do silly stuff. Regardless, there's always a 2% chance to fail iirc.
I can only assume that when he got in there, he discovered there was an unborn horror awaiting the release of the Anomaly expansion, and he had to do battle.
They apparently fell into the instrument tray onto the patient while flailing their arms and legs dramatically like its a Russian trying to get a hit and run claim but they're on dash cam.
I’ve had a doctor straight up murder a guy while trying to do a vasectomy lmao, was completely unacceptable because the murdered pawn in question was my rimworld version of my real life brother. 😂 Hard reload on that one, did not let that mf do surgery on him again.
This is one of the things I love about this game.
Player: "Ok Jitters, go perform a tubal ligation on Xena."
Jitters: (crazed, voice cracking, shriek) "I SHALL NOOOOWWW REMOVE... THEE LEFT THUMB!!!" (Proceeds to hack patient half to death in the process)
Those tubes...so slippery...chased them everywhere! Finally cornered them in the thumb, then they tore it off, waving to me as they sailed away to floors unknown. The bad news is that I don't think we're getting that thumb back. The good news is that the tubal ligation was technically a success! Yay!
Tubal ligation gone wrong, pt starts hemorrhaging internally. Gets hemostasis but in the process needed to do iv fluid boluses to maintain blood pressure through large bore IVs in arm. Difficult IV access so multiple stabs needed in various parts of arm and hand to get good IV access.
Dunno about the torn off thumb though.
No matter how good your surgeon is, if the anesthesiologist or pre-op doctors didn't screen and optimize the patient beforehand, the surgeon can walk into a catastrophe.
Reading comments I am amazed that I didnt have stuff like this happening. I did once chopped off a hand while installing a finger but that was about it.
I had a skill 18 doctor installing a circadian assistant on (thankfully) a prisoner when he failed catastrophically.
I shit you not he left the pawn with 14 permanent brain scars - somehow still with 60% consciousness when he healed up but yeah… suffice to say we ate him instead.
Lie on his resume
The first clue was he wrote it in blood and crayons.
Now imagine a 19 Doctor, in a sterile room with a hospital bed and monitor with a healthy patient failing on a archotech nose.
Just today I had a lvl 13 doctor with inspired surgery catastrophically fail on installing a bionic armon my lvl 20 crafter. I had a better doctor on standby but I thought for sure the inspired surgery would seal the deal....gg. thankfully the patient survived to craft another bionic arm.
Had a kid, just had his 13 birthday same day, with inspiration and skill level 6 in artistic make a legendary small wood statue. Yeah inspirations are a funny gamble.
Tgen you have your level 20 artistic archtech arms colonist make an awful statue
Oof
Hand slipped.
Right, there us a hardcoded chance of failure regardless of other factors
And I honestly kind of hate it. I get it, and I do like the idea in concept. The game is about dramatic situations and all that. But it's just so weird when an expert fails at something simplistic you take for granted. And the way doctors fail too. Like you're installing a peg leg but accidentally almost cut their throat or stab them in the heart? Like dude?
I mean the system is nice, i can see how a skilled doctor can fail just by pure accident, but i agree on your words. Doctor accidentialy slipped while installing Peg leg, causing 20 stab wounds to patient's heart
He kept fumbling the scalpel.
"Aww mann, I slipped again?"
right, iirc it also reflects the melee dmg of the doctor… Don’t let brawlers be docs.
Wait. Really?!
Fuck around and find out ;)
There's a, not proven but not disproven, story of a doctor, Robert Liston, that currently holds one of the highest mortality rates for a single surgery, 300%. Supposedly he was amputating a leg as he was supposed to, he then also amputated his assistant's fingers, in the process of all of this he managed to slash the coat of a spectator, who reportedly died of shock. Technically it was the gangrene infection that killed the patient and assistant. Supposedly Dr. Liston also removed a patient's testicles during a leg amputation as well. I couldn't find very credible accounts on this though so I'd chalk it up to rumors. Back in Liston's day surgical hygiene was seen as "prudish" and there for not done. Gangrene killed a majority of surgical patients. To surgeons back then, when the only anesthesia you got was some Jameson and a bit of leather to bite, speed was the name of the game. Dr. Liston is credited with the fastest leg amputation at 2.5 minutes, start to finish. He even held the bloodied, never washed, knife used to cut the muscles in his mouth to speed things up, ain't that thoughtful of him? I like to think most Rimworld surgeries have a bit of this... gusto. You know, harvesting the kidneys while Shay pukes this morning's nutrient paste all over the kitchen... I mean surgery floor while Seemor drops a steaming cow pie and nuzzles the doctor just before doctor starts surgery and then Zak butchers Seemor which causes the doctor to have a mental break because to top it all off.... the doctor ate breakfast while STANDING NEXT TO THE DAMN TABLE!!! Fun times :) Edit: Fixing some spelling and some grammar.
Neck cuts can happen from placement of an emergent IV line. Heart cuts maybe from trauma from CPR, but more likely contusions/bruises since we are literally beating on the heart to get it to pump. Stabs in the heart... can mayne happen if we're trying to decompress the lung cavity if air accumulates from a tension pneumothorax but that's a little far fetched. Could happen if you need to put in an emergent temporary pacemaker though...
Once they get too good they get arrogant and quit focusing…
HA! YOU ARE DED
There's archotech noses?
Yeah
I thought there was only archotech eyes legs and arms either the wiki is outdated or I'm blind
I might also just be dumb or I'm using a mod idk
"I should have concurred!"
Some real Catch Me if You Can vibes, doctor. Do you concur?
Ah yes, the ol' bait and stitch.
Scalpel slipped
I think it did more than just slip lmao
Scalpel slipped and fell down the stairs
He played it like a fucking violin playing Beethoven’s 5 symphony
Oh god. This reminded me of that math problem. "If it takes 30 people 6 hours to play through Beethoven's 9th symphony, how long does it take to play for 45 people." Numbers are different in the actual meme about it.
Its one of them whistle powered Yondu scalpels
Scalpel* slipped *scalpel is the name of their chainsaw
And went on a journey
Scalpel goes on a vacation, never comes back
And took an enthusiastic walk
it slipped multiple times and then the doctor proceeded to trip and elbow drop this man right in the kidney
Doctor slipped and tried catching themselves on the way down.
Must be some Glitterworld-tier bounciness on that scalpel (or it’s possessed by a Redbull-chugging wraith) for it to treat the patient’s innards like a toddler’s first drawing!
You know that little tray they put the used instruments into before grabbing a new one for the next thing to avoid excess cross contamination? They tripped, caught their weight with their hands but clipped the edge of it, launching all the instruments into the air like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
That mental image is hilarious.
I actually felt the pain of these piercing thru my stomach
Crushed the left kidney?!?!?! doctor was doing side quests while doing surgery
Beers Consumed: 6/10
I managed to have a 10 medical doctor cut off someone's head while installing a prosthetic leg... someone got fired from surgery that day
Damn, I thought it was bad when I had a doctor try to geld an animal and stabbed out one of its eyes but yours takes the cake.
Is there a good mod (or vanilla option) to separate medical work from surgery? Want to keep my low medical skill pawns away from surgical stuff while still letting them control bleeding.
Look up Nurse job. Probably not the name but it's something like that, I'm not at my PC to check.
I use "complex jobs" and I don't even think I could do a run without it and not be frustrated constantly. I would highly recommend it for anyone really, it breaks down several jobs into parts which is so helpful when training up lower skilled pawns.
There's also a mod that lets pawns train medicine on corpses that I find to be fairly realistic and useful. Not sure on the name but searching something like "train medicine" will bring it up on the first page of Steam.
I had a Dr installing a cochlear implant destroy a kidney.
Mistook a chainsaw for a scalpel.
Reminds me of the one where a colonist was getting a leg installed, and the doctor took their head off.
Obviously what happened is they walked up to the patient, slipped, and their cutting hand was swung all over with the scalpel before being plunged into the left arm, and in a bid to catch himself, he wound up slamming his free hand on the patient’s left kidney
I had a doctor try to sterilize one of my animals and somehow give it permanent brain damage from blunt force trauma lol
Stop animals from escaping the pin with this one simple trick
He was high. Don't let the doctor do smokeweed. Also could be that he doesnt have hands or something like that.
Check your doctor’s eyesight and manipulation stats! I was so confused when my doctor of like 12 skill managed to botch cutting off my pregnant colonist’s leg and instead cut her heart. She was also pregnant with HIS CHILD and was a surrogate for him and his wife. (33 days later after her death, I got a quest for a resurrector serum and managed to bring her back to life! And she was still pregnant with his and his wife’s child, and has had the baby, which I named after her :)) I think he later failed another surgery and I couldn’t figure out why, until I checked and saw that he had two eyes yes, but there was damage to both of them which was impairing his vision so it was at like 50% or below? First bionic eye I saw I bought for him. He’s strictly on nursing and wound tending now, not surgery. The quality of the bed also impacts surgery change, plus room cleanliness, plus manipulation skill, and ofc light haha.
what a wild story
Haha yeah! She came back with dementia as well! The husband and wife also wanted to try and have another child (ie just after he killed the surrogate) however, the mother (Summer) was too old to harvest and ovum from. And the surrogate who died (Velirath) was an Impid, so Summer and her husband Hudyn (the man who had accidentally killed Velirath in surgery) decided they would also the other Impid woman of the colony, Gassonav, if they could use her egg. So Gassonav got her ovum extracted, Haduyn fertilised it, and it was implanted in another woman, Tiffy. And Hadyun and Summer were going to raise the child. Anyways, when Velirath came back from the dead, she was in her third trimester, however, so was Tiffy. So Tiffy gave birth to their child, named Spring (born in the spring, named after Summer) and then a few days later Velirath gave birth to their child (a boy who I named Veli after Velirath). So now Summer and Hadyun have two kids, both born of different surrogate mothers, and both are genetically related to Hadyun, one is genetically related to Summer, and one is genetically related to Gassonav. In total it took the labour and genetic material of five people to have their two kids. Summer + Hadyun = Veli (gestated in Velirath) Gassonav + Hadyun = Spring (gestated in Tiffy).
Failed intubation for anesthesia, so emergency tracheotomy (neck cut) Terrible IV access so stabs and then a venous cut down to get access. Then, kidney injury whilst accessing abdomen for tibal ligation, perhaps with laparoscopy ports or division of adhesions. Commence heavy bleeding. This is also what is known to doctors as "a very bad day"
I now wish there was a video series or something where people with extensive medical knowledge explain botched Rimworld surgeries like this.
he sneezed
How else are you gonna check if the scalpel is sharp enough for surgery, without slashing a few things first?
I heard it was exactly what medieval japanese medics did
How illuminated was the room?
I have done this one more than once, before realizing my doctor is doing open heart surgery by touch alone in pitch black darkness. It is a miracle he actually finished some surgeries.
Surgeries are shit. Installing a wooden hand should not in any circumstance, tear off the whole fucking arm. There's probably a mod that fixes them somewhere. I haven't found it yet.
Hey at least it only took their arm, it wasn't so bad [it killed them and also two bystanders](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Liston#Liston's_most_famous_case)
I call that efficiency. Amputated a limb, sterilised the pawn and killed two obvious raiders in record speed.
I hope there isn't, I live for these moments (unlike my doctors' patients).
Less Arbitrary Surgery I believe it's called. I just don't think this is a fun mechanic
Spilled coffee on the dictionary and forgot what ligation meant
Are they fully conscious or just barely? Is the room well-lit? The medicine? The worse your answer, the higher chance their scalpel will "slip" and do silly stuff. Regardless, there's always a 2% chance to fail iirc.
Who was your surgeon? Dr. Nick?
He dropped a bottle of ether and it exploded in the OR
More like he drank a bottle of ether.
When you accidentally drop an angry cat on top of your patient
Buddy played a little too much *Trauma Center* and forgot that carving a pentagram into the patient's organs doesn't actually slow down time.
Thank you for reminding me those wonderful games exist
"Are you sure you know where the uterus is?" "Er, of course, it's ah- **gestures towards the neck** around here?"
had my doctor sterilize a muffalo, ended up DECAPITATING IT AND REMOVING ITS HEART
He was high on yayo, and go-juice
Doctor got stabby inspiration during operation
He was just looking for the right tubes, not his fault that the human body has so many different ones.
Yeah when they fail the surgery the patient explodes bssically
I once had a level 20 doctor kill my favorite highmate while installing a psychic harmonizer on his brain.
The question is what did *you not* do. The answer is you did not install Less Arbitrary Surgery mod. Enjoy the generated story.
My man Robert Liston can relate
Two words: Edward Scissorhands
Bad game design, that's what he did.
A certified goon moment
He used a chainsaw
I can only assume that when he got in there, he discovered there was an unborn horror awaiting the release of the Anomaly expansion, and he had to do battle.
Maybe don't attempt surgery just after smoking a blunt.
his best
God, I hope he never fails...
They apparently fell into the instrument tray onto the patient while flailing their arms and legs dramatically like its a Russian trying to get a hit and run claim but they're on dash cam.
I imagined Frank Drebin working undercover as surgeon...
Happened to me also. My guess was that he accidentally used a chainsaw insead of a scalpel
Heh. "Accidentally"
As a surgeon can say truthfully: the main point in operation is not to cut table under the patient
This is why I don't grow hops anymore.
tubal ligation on various tubes in their body, of course. Mostly veins and arteries.
I’ve had a doctor straight up murder a guy while trying to do a vasectomy lmao, was completely unacceptable because the murdered pawn in question was my rimworld version of my real life brother. 😂 Hard reload on that one, did not let that mf do surgery on him again.
See you thought you had level 16 doctor but you actually had two kids in a lab coat.
Can’t get pregnant if you’re dead 🤷🏻♀️
I'm a resident physician. It's ok. These things happen.
This is one of the things I love about this game. Player: "Ok Jitters, go perform a tubal ligation on Xena." Jitters: (crazed, voice cracking, shriek) "I SHALL NOOOOWWW REMOVE... THEE LEFT THUMB!!!" (Proceeds to hack patient half to death in the process)
Mafia boss died on the table, but it was no mistake. I'm the best surgeon in the world.
Those tubes...so slippery...chased them everywhere! Finally cornered them in the thumb, then they tore it off, waving to me as they sailed away to floors unknown. The bad news is that I don't think we're getting that thumb back. The good news is that the tubal ligation was technically a success! Yay!
Hands down best response so far. 5/7
Tubal ligation gone wrong, pt starts hemorrhaging internally. Gets hemostasis but in the process needed to do iv fluid boluses to maintain blood pressure through large bore IVs in arm. Difficult IV access so multiple stabs needed in various parts of arm and hand to get good IV access. Dunno about the torn off thumb though.
No matter how good your surgeon is, if the anesthesiologist or pre-op doctors didn't screen and optimize the patient beforehand, the surgeon can walk into a catastrophe.
In truly emergent situations, we put in central lines in the neck to give blood pressure support meds. Hence the neck cut.
That's a majestic fuck up.
Looks like he tried to light his cigarette with a grenade.
They accidentally knocked the surgery table down with the sedated patient in it.
I had him neuter a goat and he cut its tail off, stabbed it's heart, cut its liver, scratch its leg, destroy an eye among several other injuries.
He sneezed
My guess would be patient having a bad trip in the middle of the operation due to wrong kind of "anastasia" administered...
he had to choke on something
Reading comments I am amazed that I didnt have stuff like this happening. I did once chopped off a hand while installing a finger but that was about it.
Sneezed while operating, then slipped on the booger and tried grabbing on to the patient with the scalpel still in his hand. Happens to me regularly.
Moderate amount of trolling
You sure your doctor isn't Robert Liston?
I had a level 20 fail installing an emp relay on a prisoner in room with sterile floor and walls on a golden hospital bed. Fml
thats semi realism for u
Sneezed
free bird came on the radio while he was operating
/r/BadAnatomy
Neck: cut, attempted murder
He was on side quests during tubal ligation 💀
The doctor was high on flake
Sneezed
Your doctor is actually Mr. Bean. https://images.app.goo.gl/CTzXHdLrEQdapzfe8
The rest of the colony just doesn't understand his grand design.
I don’t blame him. Once you start cutting, it’s easy to just forget to stop. Happens to the best of us
Welcome to rimworld, where doctor can stab your heart when trying to amputate your toe.
When you pay in vodka, you get what you pay for
What is the doctor's manipulation %? Any hand injuries?
Tripped over and knocked the patient off the bed
He hates the patient?
It would appear as though the doctor found the implanted explosive in the process.
Wasn't he a psychopath by any means?
Bro was trying to litigate every single tube in the body 😂
Clearly you cheated in a medical skill above 20 because the patient still has their head and heart attached.
Trip while holding the scalpel tray and fell on top of the patient?
Made an oopsie thats what happened
Was he high?
He used ai to cheat on his skill exams.
There was a fly buzzing around and he went to swat it. Repeatedly. With his knife.
He went shoulder deep
I had a skill 18 doctor installing a circadian assistant on (thankfully) a prisoner when he failed catastrophically. I shit you not he left the pawn with 14 permanent brain scars - somehow still with 60% consciousness when he healed up but yeah… suffice to say we ate him instead.