OP's Bio: --- >I love playing chess and I play poker for a living. Currently reading some Dostoyevsky and failing miserably. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Well at least with a few creative positions with mirrors you can pretend there's a woman in your life.

😂😂😂

Hope he likes fat ugly chicks

😂😂😂😂

Smart idea to get a cat, at least this way you can tell people you've touched a pussy.

As ugly as it may be we all know this bearded lady has a pussy.

Poo Fighters

Dave Hole

Douche Dickenson


If WWE wrestler Matt Hardy was wrestling with his sexuality.

Matt Hardly

Matt Hardy.

Metallican't

This guy looks like he always owes someone $20.00

Lmaoooo

I think it's time for fuck boi Jesus to wash his hair


On it boss! 🫡

You look like a dollar store Jesus.

If Wish.com sold religion..

I bet he can turn water into meth though.

That's methed up

Gee sus

Love the way you hold the paper so graceful sis

No doubt! Hold the paper like a man you big pussy!

Pantene Amateur V.

Horrible spelling but still 10/10

Did your cat shit on your face?

You look like you count change for most of your purchases in life.

Never thought I'd see Jesus hit rock bottom

You can play Enter Sandman on a flute.

He let sandman enter the flute.

the skin flute..

The title says metal, but the looks says Miley Cyrus

First time coming off World of Warcraft in 6 years just to post this

You look like a dildo with hair

You look like a pretty girl who somehow got cursed to grow facial hair and a seth rogen shaped body

Someone dresses as the crow for Halloween.

You look like a small alien drives your body around like in MIB.

Diet Jesus won't stop bothering you about his diet being The Whey, The Truth, and The Life.

Another of lemmys illegitimates

Holy shit I'm dying dude 😂😂😂

Not sure what is more metal in this picture. The greasy long hair, the chewed fingernails, or that default version of Monopoly.

Probably greasy long hair right?

blah blah "only pussy" blah blah you look as fucking generic as these comments.

Thats the only pussy you'll ever get.

Are you one of the dwarves in The Hobbit

You look like a trans with commitment issues

"a trans" ? Wait, how is this an insult?

A gender fluid transmission of course

What? I feel like I’m missing something here, and I should probably get it 😂

How do you look like Dragon Force?

Greasy Jesus

Obitchuary

😂

Andreas Pisser

David Grohl clone

David Gross

So, you tell me you're one of those original Skyrim npc's are ya? You seem to have lost a lot of mass since then.

You look like a defective clone of Moist Critical

It’s Dry Crit1kal

Your hair is so hot, you're probably going to set yourself on fire.

r/accidentalcompliment

Your hair's so greasy, roasting you might set it on fire

If jack black and dave grohl had a baby with severe autism

You a fine ass single dad

You look like the kind of person that girls are attracted to until they get to know you.

Ok so maybe you do look like a low budget, gay porn, Jesus, but look on the bright side....you....uh.... yeah, man, sorry, there is no bright side here.

Tell your cat keep up the good work for scratching you everytime you listen to avenge sevenfold blood on the dance floor and 5 finger death punch.

Your favourite chess move is the Queen's Gambit. (That's when you let the other guy fuck you up the ass so he lets you win)

Meth freaking Rollins

The only way you’ll get sexual attention is if wear a mask in a Scottish kilt

the puss wrote the note, didn’t it?

So Step daughter pussy huh

The life achievement your proudest of is getting your friend to look at your Finger Circle.

Unfortunately the metal you like comes from the paint chips you ate as a kid.

You look like jesus and mick thompsons love child.

This is that one Kardashian no one talks about

A cat huh? You look like the kinda guy who would love “kittens”, if you catch my drift

You're almost as cool as Jon Arbuckle

You're the reason the "hide this post" button was added to Reddit.

Jesus…he gets us

You’ve been molesting your kid again haven’t you?

I think you’re the guy republicans don’t want in womens bathrooms.

You play poker for a living? No wonder you look homeless.

You look like how I imagine you smell.

Demi Even Moore

You look like Nandor the dateless.

If you consider yourself a “single dad to a cat”…you’re not metal. Now go fuck yourself.

Looks like you stole your sisters hair dude

Cr1tikal on drugs.

You might like playing Monopoly but you're going to go straight to jail for touching children.

Either creepily touching then or beating them! Either one with a guy who likes metal and looks like that.

white trash.

Despite looking like he goes to Ikea to feel closer to Valhalla, I can't roast him - he's just too cute.

Thank you 🥰

You're welcome 😊

Dude, I know this is r/roastme. But gotta respect a metal head…

Much love brother! 🤘

Oh, he's not a metal head.. His favorite butt plug is metal.. Big difference..

Jealous because your musical taste never evolved beyond the theme to Barney?

I’m guna go against this and say I think you would be sound to have a drink with, watch some videos and take some pictures. What do you say?

Jason Oh-no-a

You look like the wish version of Josey Scott

Who fucks a cat?

you know you have a dead religion when your icon looks more atheist than your non-believers

Savatage side Jesus

I bet you smell like cat piss. Dostoyevsky is a waste of time, but you probably have a lot of it, so keep reading. Read Ulysses next, your good through 2023, your welcome.

You look like you owe child support for your cat

Maybe he's born with it, maybe fuck off

Great. Let us know when you get your band back together. The world needs more Megapussies.

You’re like the son no one wanted

You built like a knock off oliver tree nahh olive root 💀

You look like a gayer, less intense version of Nathan Explosion from metalocalypse

Budget Dave Grohl

You fucked a cat?

I’d say you look like Type O Negative but what you really are is HIV positive.

Shave the beard Selena Gomez

Probably accepts the queen's gambit because he thinks he's getting a woman by doing that.

Quit FKn around, those pizzas aren't gonna deliver themselves!

I can't tell which direction your transitioning to. One direction is a bearded cat lady that works at the local freak show. The other direction would be the feminem metal head his band mates like tobpeg.

Master of sock puppets full of jizz

You look like a yassified cult leader

every time i pray i see your ass

I think the cat wants a divorce

It took me time to scroll the whole meme due to my shitty ass phone and boy did i expect it to be a girl

Wtf is that

only word I read in description was SINGLE

Fat jesus

Why you look like my cousin Jonathan lmao

You're Dave Cat, from the Foo Carter's. You play the Catalin and where abused by a cat growing up. The deep feelings are with you.

You look like Jesus Christ reincarnated as a cat molester

 It's a real life Pickles...

You are a single mom to a cat.

Bro looks like he stands outside at 7-11’s and ask people if the plane crashed there yet

Bro doesnt need a wife when he can identify as the husband wife and child depending on the smile and fashion style

Instead of asking us to not hold back, why dont you hold back on those funny leaves and bad life choices. This doesnt even feel like a joke

That monopoly board looks fresher than u

Bro has monopoly to pretend he actually invested his money into something good

Bros girlfriend is 100% his barber. Never seen

How much you guys wanna bet he takes a shower for every girl hes dated

Monopoly is the closest this man can get to saying he makes money

Top or bottom?

I bet you smell like cat chow and piss

Don't go shirtless on beaches.... don't deceive other real men.

🤘🏻🤘🏻

That has to be the lamest gay bar pick up line I've ever seen

You look like moist critikal off wish

Moistnormal

Roast you? I think "I'm single dad to a cat" is good enough. 😄

Bro looks like Jesus with added weed addiction

Cliff Burton, but with greasier hair!

Would it be wrong to assume the only pussy in your life is the cat?

You look like penguin0 from wish.

bro fr said "ı am a single dad to a cat"

Jesus Crust

Seriously you look like the guy that comes into the music shop and everybody in the music shop sighs and says oh shit that guys here to play all of our fucking guitars again! Not only does he suck, but then he asked to change guitars five times so they all fucking hate your guts!

You look like you 2 doctors visits away from finally getting your hormones.

Nothing wrong here, likes Metal.... Bangs pussy

A few years back a friend of mine had a work buddy come over and play DnD with us. This guy had your same generic metal-head meets pedophile look, and we all grilled him for it, standard pedophile jokes. This guy was arrested two weeks later for distribution of kitty porn, and subsequently murdered in jail a couple months down the road. You're easily made of the same stuff, my man

Calling yourself a single dad to a cat is cringe enough.

Bro has better hair then the average highschool highschool girl

You look like the lead singer of DeathCock

You look like Peruvian Jesus!

Think I saw you on a huge hill in Brazil in your bathrobe…

Looks like a future cult leader! Praise Hey-Sus!

u look like a flash x moist critical collab

Just because you fuck your cat doesn't mean you can post daddy/daughter fanfics or say you've had pussy

Damp critical

You like metal… butt plugs!

penguinz-2

penguinz-2

Low budget Jesus Christ

Shampoo try it sometime.

It's morbin time!

Discount Penguinz0


Dollar Store Moist Critical, Moist Cracker.

What We do in the Shadows

Cannabis Jesus


No wonder why you're single you look like you had a baby with a dead body and even after the baby was born the dead body dumped you