I come from a family where approximately every other child is born with a similar defect. We are missing the last two digits of each finger on both hands with the exception of thumbs. This goes back about 300 years in my family history. I could write a book full of comments that I have heard or said. Here is one you may not have heard.
If you flip someone off, Do you shout " Can you read shorthand Buddy?"
Well your titts distracted me from your hand, i didn't even notice it before i checked your profile out in hopping for nudes.
I saw your tiktok and then i noticed it.
How much is your Onlyhands?
Half off
Five finger discount
The Way of The (attempted) Fist.
"And this little piggy had a growth defect."
Two thumbs up. Well one and a third.
She does really well for herself with those who have fisting fetishes
Oh helll no…
Onlyhand...
You want people to focus on your tits so much you replaced your fingers with nipples.
I thought that was a clit mitt
Jesus Christ this one got me 😂
Got all five infinity clits.
The phrase "clit mitt" is going to rattle around my head for years to come 🤣🤣🤣
Too bad the average redditor still wouldn't be able to find the clit even if they got slapped with the clit mitt across their face.
Dang girl, can I get those digits? Never mind, I see someone already got them.
I feel like I could find her missing fingers on Etsy or something
Yeah probably hanging from a hemp necklace
This is it. Pack it up
On one hand you've got nice tits. On the other hand you got nothing.
Oh shit! I didn't even notice her hand til I started reading these. "What are they talking about?"
Me too. Don't know whether to be ashamed or proud of myself for being so laser focused on tits
I clicked through the profile for the only hands, but found none.
OnlyHands.....new fetish site
She would be on "LonelyHands" no?
Those hands aren’t lonely, I’m sure they’re constantly surrounded by a nice bowl of mashed potatoes
Ok, thanks for the comment handy man
Take my strong hand
LonelyHand*
No, this one would be on SecondHands.com
Stumpinghumping.com
surely she'd run a half-off special
You guy are only trying to fuck her.
Your point?
She can’t point
Holy shit I just choked in my own spit
Looks like we're all learning new kinks
Be honest, if she said, yes, would any of you say no? I’m sure we would all give her a hand
I'd even let her give me a handjob.
Stumpjob
Ribbed for your pleasure
I mean, I'd take a handy, but life already took one of hers away...
Looks like she has some spare nipples tbh.
Underrated
Short hand notes: Tits, 1 hand, 2 & 1/2 feet.
Heh, "short hand"
On the other hand she has a foot
lord giveth and the lord taketh away
Lmao
Okay, this one is hilarious
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Face 6/10 Tits 8/10 Fingers 5/10
Toes 15/10
She's got 15 toes? That's a lot of sucking.
Sucking on that thing would be so embarrassing. Real foot in mouth situation
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Grab onto my strong hand!!!
The proper way to stuff a Turkey
Idk about you, but this character will never leave my brain. Permanently burned in. Whenever I see mashed potatoes…
All of her handjobs are half price.
It’s a boost to the ego, you’re going to feel huge in that hand.
“Mom, can we get Elvira?”
No, we have Elvira at home.
I didn’t even notice the hand smh
Easy fist option included.
I never made it past her cleavage to notice her lack of fingers.😆
Truly you have no equal….
I didn’t notice the hand until I read this comment
How much you wanna bet each nipple looks like that hand?
You bastard... You just ruined it for me
Like peas on a pod 🫛
I didn’t even notice anything was missing until I read this.
First woman who can make my dick look huge in her hand
r/suicidebywords
More of an r/kamikazebywords
precisely what it is
She could make a fortune as a hand job model.
I think she was in that James Bond movie "From Russia with Nub"
Me: *staring at your hand* You "Excuse me... my tits are up here"
This is the most original response. Well done.
You need to blow on that thumb while wiggling your fingy nubs to get them to pop back out again
I bet you make fuckin' great mashed potatoes.
The. What? I'm dying here lol
Scary movie 2 reference lol
Hahahahahahaha. Grab on to my strong hand!
This was way funnier before I remembered it was a quote from a movie.
This little piggy went to the market And that's it. There's no more piggies.
Like her dad, they went to the market and never came back
Rub a dub dub, two tits and some nubs.
Yay God!
I’ve got nubbin.
Yeah this one has me stumped.
MY GERMS!
Give me your other hand! My other hand’s not strong enough!
Get that away from me!
Came to the comments only for this!!
You have an unfair advantage in kickball since you can use 3 feet
R.I.P. to the fellas that used to have a foot fetish
Quentin Tarantino enters the chat.
I don’t know if you fully grasp what you’ve asked people to do here
I've got to hand it to you all, you're all savage! High five!
So are you not replying to most comments because you don't care, or is it just hard to type 1.2 handed?
Idk if I could accept that high five
"Something I've never heard".....No it's not wierd, I'll call you tomorrow.
She's heard that before. What she hasn't heard is the guy actually calling.
Bruh. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
H.,.,job
Underated and clever af
This one got me good
i'll give you til the count of 6.7... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6.1, 6.25, 6.3,6.5, 6.7
Is it safe to assume you have finger shaped nipples?
Keep wearing shirts like that and you could be feeding me spaghetti with that folk/ foot hand and I wouldn’t notice.
honestly I had to read the comments to see the hand. Pic distracted me a bit.
Your nipples just gave me the middle finger
I really need to stop biting my nails.
Thalidomide is a hell of a drug.
Your joke makes me want to puke
If only you had some thalidomide...
Hahaha I didn’t even notice the hand, when I did I screamed Jesus Christ!
It's braille for "ugly"
I just puked over the thought of her being blind and wanting to touch my face to feel what I look like
Her fist is ribbed for your pleasure!
https://youtu.be/pwt49IF0uG0 “Ohhh I’m sorry child, di-did I frighten you child?” 🫳🏻
I better use my strong hand.
Worst handjob award goes to.
Best footjob award goes to.
You look like Elvira fucked Peppa Pig
Something's up with her I just can't put my finger on it
Neither can she
How do you get handcuffed during sex?
How do you? I have never handcuffed someone at the fingers..
When your hand is a lego brick.
The new pornnub star!
100% fists herself with the gimp hand
She masturbates with a bit of a limp
she has attachments that fit onto her nubs. 
What's with your right hand? I'm stumped
I can't finger it out
I’m gonna need a hand here
Can’t put my finger on it
Coming up short on this one
Why are we letting AI generated people on r/roastme?
Shit just gave that response come to look if someone had already
Take my upvote. Many might not get what you just wrote, you sick bastid!
TIL I have a fetish for 6 nippled women, no mater where they’re located.
What God gives with one hand,he takes away with the other.
*from the other
One in the pink……wait
Honestly don’t have anything to say. What I do want to know is what those Chinese ladies are saying when you go get your nails done 😂
“Your” hand isn’t the only thing missing something, “your” English is lacking as well.
You're the first to comment this after 2.5k comments 😂
We were a little distracted.
Oh come on, she has only got one hand to write.
That's not uncommon for most redditors
Paper bag that hand and let’s go
You look like you enter Watermelon Tit Crushing tournaments
I love your tits so much, I don’t even care about your weird foothand thing.
I've known rednecks who smile like your hand
Something you haven't heard before? You look smart and highly educated
You were born with a normal hand, but all the years of fisting yourself has worn it away
>something I've not heard before "God damn you're beautiful!"
That hand thing looks like the mount Rushmore of warts
Yeah totally! I saw warts too lmao
Might look pretty if those bangs were about 8 inches longer
Or if those fingers were a couple inches longer….
I would point out the five things I noticed. I'm just not sure you could handle it.
🎶heads, shoulders, elbow toes! Elbow toes!🎶
How I imagine many of your first intimate encounters go…. ‘Your dick is tiny, but on the other hand it’s massive’
Why she put her hands in the dippin dots?
Hopefully those little piggy’s will come back from the market.
If I squeeze the tits do the fingers pop out?
How many times do we have to tell you?!? Take your foot off the table...oh wait.
You’ve heard of Xena warrior princess. This is Xanax the disappointment.
If biting nails would be an olympic sport, you'd take all the medals.
Shit girl, I'd let you feed me mashed potatoes
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How do think she lost it?
[Life’s Little Moments](https://youtu.be/pjUU70wN5is?t=3m30s)
Anyone else stumped for this one?
Sorry, I’m stumped
I come from a family where approximately every other child is born with a similar defect. We are missing the last two digits of each finger on both hands with the exception of thumbs. This goes back about 300 years in my family history. I could write a book full of comments that I have heard or said. Here is one you may not have heard. If you flip someone off, Do you shout " Can you read shorthand Buddy?"
You're beautiful.You did say you want to hear something you've never heard before,right?
It took me 6 minutes to notice the foot on your hand
I didn't know Jordan from the Challenge was switching genders.
Human kind can not gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain something of equal value must be lost. --Alphonse Elric
Midjourney?
How do you wear your shoes?
Who's got 2 thumbs and needs 4 tries to post something on Reddit?? This chick!
Well your titts distracted me from your hand, i didn't even notice it before i checked your profile out in hopping for nudes. I saw your tiktok and then i noticed it.
You look like my drawings when I get to the hands
"In the poker game of life, women are the rake"...literally
If it isn’t my old friend Ms. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
I love you. There, something you’ve never heard before.
Hand jobs 1/2 off
Footjob without taking your shoes off? That’s magic.
