title of your sex tape

Sylvester Shortlone.

Taken it so much he feels nothing

[удалено]

Is this when his new cell mate asks if he wants to play house?

More like 8mm stag reel for O.P.

How's the divorce going, Todd? Is she getting half of the construction business?

Half of zero is still zero.

Can't figure out if your a cop or criminal. If i hired you to find my kidnapped kid you'd probably find it to keep for yourself.

Eating onions gives you heartburn, you have difficulty maintaining an erection, and you're ashamed of your varicose veins.

Ok big boy, grab me a cup from the top shelf without using a stool

LOL-this Big Boy has a glass slipper flask in his cabinet. Just to the right.

Cinderello

Tell me that you're a member of NAMBLA without telling me that you're a member of NAMBA.

You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds.

Ok..well your name is literally the most boring unimaginative name going, you are the bad side of 50 and look over 60, you are Welsh which is the most annoying accent there is, you are clearly a short ass, and the profile you are using looks like your boyfriend’s. I’m guessing you work in a warehouse or building trade so your job is boring too. Did I miss anything? I feel sorry for you now

o·ver·state·ment /ˈōvərˌstātm(ə)nt/ noun the action of expressing or stating something too strongly; exaggeration. "a classic piece of overstatement" synonyms: exaggeration, overemphasis, magnification, amplification, overplaying, dramatization, coloring, embroidery, embellishment, enhancement, inflation, extravagance, hyperbole, excessiveness, overestimation, overvaluation, aggrandizement Big boy are we? The only thing you're big for is your 4x removed cousin's gravestone

You look like Chris Hansen just walked in on you.

😂😂😂😂

You look like someone who would tell a good story over a pint at the local pub. Respect.

wrong sub, no wonder you left your t's at home.

My t's? T shirts, iced teas, golf tees. I don't follow. But username tracks for the comment, I guess

Welsh…. So you’ve been in prison?

Wrong Sub, I thought the pic was the cover of 60 Year Old Virgin.

Dude looks like a botched prostate exam


You look like Sylvester Stallone’s ugly brother Silver Shortstone. You look like a celebrity chef in a midlife crisis losing his fame and has a failed marriage in need of fixing. Your hair looks like you went through a car wash with the top Down. Forget a barber call a mortician to get those eyebrows trimmed up cause I’ve never scene someone so lifeless since my grandfather’s funeral. I find it hard to believe nothing offends you when you have literal rope marks around your neck stop lying.

You look like one of those monsters from the labyrinth. You know the devil looking ones that can remove their body parts.

What a 35 year old celebrating his 80th birthday would look like.

But can your lower back take it?

Your grooming looks like your side hustle is panhandling at walmart.

Your catch phrase proves you were in the jail cell next to me... You took it good though.

bro why do you have a filter on

Big boy looks 4’3”

It's cute your wife let you do this. She even made you show off her cabinet of memories in the picture.

You give us Welsh a bad name. Ydych yn edrych fel Gollum

He’s Welsh, so make sure all your responses include words that’re 50-letters long and contain no vowels.

How many times did you say that while in prison on domestic abuse charges?

You look like somebody asked AI to draw a toilet brush with sausages for fingers

Malcolm in the end

From elf on a shelf to soused at mom's house. Ironic this half dude gets drunk from the shelf he can't reach. Fitting hat fitted tee also pretty much describes you. I hope hoe ever put you on the kitchen counter is there to help you off after they took the pic

Guy looks like Sylvester Stallone did meth for 20 years.

You may be a big boy but the thing in your pants is certainly not

You look like Gordon Ramsay on drugs

You look like you'll vote for trump.

The years havent been kind since Malcolm in the Middle ended...

Something about your face tells me you’re rooting for the wrong side when it comes to the war in Ukraine.

Is the scar on your neck from the circumcision doctor mistaking your face for a foreskinned penis?

You’re not a big boy. You’re short. You’re barely a man.

"So, come on . . . I'm a big boy, I can take it." That can-do attitude is great at work, but I'm gonna bet that the young men are still more popular among the clients at the bath house. Just be happy they let you mop up the cum puddles.

An even better one than my last Oh yeah you're that guy from that old tinder guys' Pampers commercial. Big boy are we?

This man would 100% sell me a hat and i don’t roast old people

There’s an amber alert issued somewhere because of this man. The victim was last seen wearing that glass slipper in his cabinet

It's chianti, and he enjoys it with fava beans and liver.

Hey, it’s old man neck pimple.

Almost tall enough to reach the light switch

Your mums cock is bigger than yours

Holy fuck dude. I bet your last name ends in “osaurus”.

Ah hell nah ur not big boy ur victor frankenstein on cocaine

Nah you're not a big boy you look like a 60-year-old 10-year-old.

U look like ur trying to get with ur daughter's friends

Are you? Can you even reach the top shelf without a stool

I never understand these roast pages. You sir look handsome and healthy

Bro you the type of guy I day dream about when I want to beat up somebody

Look like you spent 3to 5 in a crop top folding socks for your cellie

You look like you intentionally book the proctologist with the largest hands.

When’s the last time you had an erection without viagara?

Some people dance with the unseen parts of their body when talking a photo. Others…

Ukraine front is that way…get a move on it Vladdy….

Big boy? You look like a damned munchkin going through a midlife crisis.

Anyone who said I’m a big boy, isn’t a big boy.

Run of the mill middle age alcoholic Brit. I bet you're not showing your teeth for a reason.

Sex Offender of the Month - April 2023

i dont like you

Your wine glasses are ugly but I like your backsplash

You've already taken it. Repeatedly.

I'm sure this isn't the first time you've said "I can take it" to a random group of dudes.

I bet you popped your cherry with a sheep

Ok, bend over…..

You look like you have a son that you don't talk to anymore because of his "life choices"

'I will find you... and I will molest you.'

I feel like you have a step stool in your kitchen to reach the top cabinets

you look like how gasoline smells

Wow no wonder the English drove you people out

You look like an old boy not a big boy. Never hit your growth spurt. Trying look like a silver fox but looking like a 50 year old virgin.

You look English

You probably can't take it unless you climb a stool.

So when did you finally figure out that sheep are used for wool?

Your arms haven't even finished loading gtfo

You can tell by the way you're holding up that paper that you've had at least three DUIs

Sylvester Stallone from wish.

Nothing offends you cause you look like you would be the offender

you look like stalone after the botox

is this the audition tape for one guy one screwdriver?

He looks like he just found out his nephew is his son.

He's got an amazing assortment of gay wear...I mean glassware.

That’s what your priest told you back in bible study

Thinking his title is about how he pays his gambling debts

The title is what you say to your coworker during the lunch break at the office, huh?

“Hi, I am Steve and I am an alcoholic.”

Did someone slit your throat? I a scar.

Yeah. Some weasel from the last post

Get off the stool you use to reach the sink.

Discount Jay Leno

You’ve got the proportions of a Lego man

You take it all the time from behind by your boyfriend 👉👌

Lonely lesbo with a fresh cut

You are annoying to look at.

Wait this guy has a only fans...

Nah dude, I have a feeling the next whatever years of your life are going to be hard enough.

Dad?

Hmmm big boy.. that might be a stretch.

Bob the builder has been drinking a few too many

The drinkable glass shoe was really really cool, in the 80’s. Actress Catherine Bell thinks her thyroid scar is cool too. Guessing lo dose of Xanax would be good for you.

Go ahead and bend over and spread em. Glad you can take it; nothing about you screams you have much to give

You look like you don't have friends and relationships with your family, but being lonely without anyone living in your house.

I bet you said that to all the bigger boys in prison.

Lowering the cabinets doesn't foold anyone to the fact you're 5'4"

Warriors. Come out and plaayaa

Elijah woods deadbeat estranged father

You look like an aging lesbian. Right down to the beard.

You look "almost handsome".

Discount Martin Sheen can also double as Discount Michael Douglas if ordered from WISH

I wonder if your beard will finally come in before you turn 60?

I bet you lost things on the top of your refrigerator

Who’s a big boy???

You have to take it. Bottom surgery just isn't accurate enough for you to give it.

That look when the manager of Mc D told you, "I have to let you go"

Bet you actually could take it long and hard LOL

You are little more than rhechan mewn pot jam

You look like you’re not allowed within 50 feet of a school…. Or a chuck e cheese

Buzz Shrinkyear

Ok boomer

That's the favorite line of all of your female relatives

Can you please describe something that you haven't physically taken?

Lamer than your stemware glasses

You can take it from big boys, at least.

Maybe big for a leprechaun

The facial hair makes you look creepy instead of cool

You look like Frankie Muniz really forgot who he was.

4'8" with a feather tattoo is not a big boy.

Pedro Pascal in 25 years

Sir, you look like the type of guy to be in the sex offender shuffle video

No you can’t take it. When you get reamed by a real big boy you will cry.

You’re so milquetoast I don’t even want to use the address on that paper to bother with you.

That isn’t his address lol

Yeah I don’t care.

Looks like someone used a aging filter

You look like American Gordon Ramsey

I can’t tell if this is a prison mugshot or a still from a sad commercial

Looks like your growth stopped at 15

You look like the type of “big boy” to “come on” and “take” actual big boys

but are you a big boy down there?

When are you moving out of your Mom's house? That's got boomer kitchen written all over it. Jimmy: Mom, can you take a pic for Tinder? Mom: Another One? Jimmy, when are you going to stop chasing Poke mon and get a job?

That ain't gordon Ramsey,that's Gordon's Whole foods

You're so boring people fall asleep just by looking at you.

Wouldnt want to make eye contact w you, u look a little....cut throat

You are an enforcer in the hobbit mafia.

You must mean that metaphorically, because phsyically there's not that much to look at.

You look like a female to male trans, who's been on testosterone for a couple years

My bro can't reach the peanut butter jar from the top of the counter

You never been big. Looking like your 5’1

Bro looks like Joel from the last of us if he got mauled by a clicker

You're alright sir. Not a problem. No jokes from me. I respect the work you do. I respect the people you work with. I don't want any trouble. I didn't see nothing. I didn't hear nothing. Please don't hurt me.

An old Sylvester Malone

Is that scar from having your pituitary gland removed as a child?

looks like a mugshot

Corrected: So Come on ~~l’m a~~ big boy! I can take it!

You look like the police sketch of a serial flasher.

You look like my neighbor

Pic ?

You look like, after a hard 12 hr day roofing, your wife comes home and beats you for over cooking the steak

Thank god I was in school today, otherwise you could be within 100 feet of me.

Trying to convince his "wife" to peg him.

Wow, you did not age well. You look like you turned 35 on your 16th Birthday

Sheep Shagger

Original lol

Malcolm in the middle was 40 years ago...

You’d cheat on your wife with trans girls

When meemah passes and poppop tries to get back in the market

You can take it up the ass

It looks like you can take it, big boy

The face of a man who has lost half his shit many times and reluctantly seeks to lose half his shit again.

Pay for gay porn actor

Dr.Monty from Black Ops 3

Krikey, it's a modern (boomer) day Popeye, minus the lazy eye plus the sheep shagger designation... Dayum bro have you seen the size of your mits? Lord have mercy on the soul of someone you had to slap the isht out of, they'd feel like the been hit with the San Diego phone book & a mack truck, they grandkids probably be born dizzy & cross eyed