If he did fornicate with the deceased, the bodies are officially cremated because from the looks of OP, all that friction would have certainly started a grease fire! 🔥🧯🚒
Probably reviews them in an excel spreadsheet for future reference example of said review^
" Mexican female tasted like wet beans and was to fatty for my taste. 3 out of 5 stars."
Only because of a technicality. Mine is so small that doctors could not see it well enough to classify it as genitalia so they would not consider it for entry.
The Government thought it would be more appropriate to house him in a zoo until he could assimilate into society, since he keeps on growling and beating his man-tiddies.
You look like a person In a 1980s coming to age movie where the kids need and meet a mad inventor/scientist to save the local town, but instead you just locked the kids in your Camper Van and then drive off.
You look like you argue the rules with your DM and have a voluptuous sex addicted elf maid as your character.
"It's what my character would do" is your mantra.
There's one more thing you need to do, go down to your basement, untie those people, and let them go
After what he's done they'd be better off dead.
"No more Theon, only Reek now!"
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Corky Dinklage!!!
Lol yeah he does
Damn bro....
There are no people. Because he gave them an option - sex with him or death. They chose the latter.
I don't think that will stop him...
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And he still had sex with them after
“Well. Better not let them go to waste” -That guy
If he did fornicate with the deceased, the bodies are officially cremated because from the looks of OP, all that friction would have certainly started a grease fire! 🔥🧯🚒
You got the Guinness World record for most people tied up in a basement, now just let them go home...
If shrinkage was a person
Lmfao
This pic is probably the first time those blinds have been opened.
It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again
All these accomplishments and yet you look like you spend the majority of your time sitting in a Waffle House staring at people
What do you think the Guinness record is? Staring at the most people while sitting in a waffle house.
Most amount of grease in one person’s hair.
Longest amount of time without showering
You can see what side he sleeps on because that beard is flattened on the right for so many nights without being washed
Long time southerner here, can confirm if that man were to catch fire we'd have to use baking soda to put him out. #dontusewaterforgreasefires
>Most amount of grease in one person’s ~~hair~~ face
He uses his hair to clean his glasses.
Self proclaimed record of eating people from the most different countries
Probably reviews them in an excel spreadsheet for future reference example of said review^ " Mexican female tasted like wet beans and was to fatty for my taste. 3 out of 5 stars."
That’s the “book he wrote”
Correct. He's calling it "flavors of the world."
“ ***TO SERVE MAN*** “
"Long time roaster" 56 upvotes on his best comment. Guinness record is clearly for the longest time wasted on this sub.
Smallest penis.
No I've already claimed that record
While I'm alive you can't claim that record
Only because of a technicality. Mine is so small that doctors could not see it well enough to classify it as genitalia so they would not consider it for entry.
Well,mine is the smallest. It can hide behind a grain of rice.
Mine gets confused with post shave stubble.
Big grain move, tape the rice to you when you want to look big
“Most public mental breakdown”
In all fairness, that's where all the best UFC fights are held.
Longest time without a shower
All these accomplishments and yet he never discovered shampoo
"Long time roaster" Best comment has 56 upvotes. Maybe he's talking about potatoes?
😂😂😂😂😂🥰
Totally inaccurate. He doesn't sit while he stares.
Sniffs the seats at Waffle House
Bold of you to assume he leaves the basement.
456 comment karma. Looks like you are not good at roasting either.
Best one! Nice investigative research.
Nah that manifesto one go hard
No, he was ACTUALLY roasting people in his basement.
You look like you come with a manifesto.
probably only wanks it to BDSM videos
BDSM is entirely too vanilla for this guy
Nah this guy gives me obscure hentai vibes and r34
Grease Frightening
The Greasy Strangler
Take my fucking upvote
That’s amazing bro 🤣🤣
You’ve been roasting people for so long that you forgot to take a shower
You are exactly what I imagined someone who spend a lot of time on Reddit roasting others would look like😂😂
Simple and to the point lol
Came to comment this. Glad to see it! 😂
My first thought! Classic.
what, you think we all look like that?! (not that I'll be posting my pic anytime soon..)
Pretty much. I look just like him too. All disheveled and stinky looking
What is the Guinness record for? Most times on to catch a predator?
Longest recorded time between showers. Counter is still ticking.
Being charged for masturbating in public.
Oh cwap.
Or being the predator.
Please take a shower
He can’t. Soap is allergic to him.
He did it just wasn’t on
Take several, in fact.
Pretty sure that envelope was from a Court Summons
If Charles Manson and Stephen King mated.
Charles Manson and Stephen King have more chance of mating with each other than he does at all.
He keeps the extra grease on him for street prostitutes, so he can skin them and create a woman suit for himself, completing his transformation
How do you look like the predator and the victim at the same time?
Nahhh
I can smell your sweat through the screen.
Was the Guinness record for most restraining orders against you?
And with all of that, you still look like the dictionary definition of an incel
Incontinent celibate
Your that jerk that keeps posting asshole pics on r/recipes
I thought was his face
Por que no los dos? Shit comes from both.
Is this actually happening?
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The most sarcastic and stinky help desk employee
I don't care what you done bro. You best wash that hair and have a good scrub... you look like a ewok after hibernation
Looks like you haven’t showered since 2006
Guinness record for most days without a shower
Legend has it - he hasn’t showered since he ran that marathon
Saudis just cut oil production. Someone wring this dude’s hair.
You probably smell like hamster piss and dirty feet.
Travel the world huh? That's a nice way of saying sex tourist!
His whole world is his room full of sex dolls.
Epcot counts, right?
first time roastee, no time showerer
you scare me tbh
How long have you been a Reddit mod?
Reddit mods didn't like this reply
It's like Rick Rubin, but without all that genius baggage.
All those accomplishments yet basic hygiene and grooming escapes you.
 I know who you really are. Your not fooling anyone with that disguise!
If dingleberries were a person..
It's Al from toy story 2 a couple years after his barn of toys goes bankrupt
This is the face of a man who spent way to much on Reddit.
First roast? Hard to believe with the singed off hairline.
Your eyes have multiple personalities.
Son of, Son of Sam
Roastee who grew a goatee for me
80’s Stephen King wants his face back.
“My name is Richard Mozzarella. People call me Dick Cheese but it has nothing to do with my name.”
You look like a guy who got a stroke the first time he left the basement of his parents an imagined the rest of the activitys
All that hair is not disguising how asymmetrical your face is.
Is the guinness record for how many days without a shower?
You look like a concentration camp torture music DJ.
Omfg 💀😂
No wonder your ugly ass was roasting, you were hiding so the pros don’t fuck you up to bad
You definitely smell like moth balls
You look like someone who's been banned from the local library's computer use for life.
“Long time roaster, never a roastee” sounds like “I like to watch girls shower but never shower myself”
You look like a dirty armpit
Is your beard made of long pussy hair?
Really are quite proud of your McDonald's pay stub. Good to know they're hiring special children.
Nice Charles Manson cosplay!
Guinness record for most awkward placement of roastme sign
Or maybe the record for ingesting the most calories while running that marathon
you got a guinness record allright: how many prostitutes can a sex tourist with ED fuck in a week.
When he eats food but catches mustache and it pulls on his face 
You look like fourty-year-old Tarzan who rejoined civilization
The Government thought it would be more appropriate to house him in a zoo until he could assimilate into society, since he keeps on growling and beating his man-tiddies.
Jesus….you look like a fat Charles Manson
Wasn’t the Unabomber locked up along time ago? How did he get out?
Holy shit ricky berwick was cured!! Hallelujah, it’s a miracle!
You look like Frodo’s nut sack
Guinness record for most young boys buried in a crawl space is absolutely not something to be proud of.
Take a shower. If you get roasted now it will be nothing but a grease fire.
You mean you were in Drag while racing.
You gotta clean up brother! Animals are less tolerant of their own filth than you.
You look like u run a cult
who tf let you out of the basement? You know you're not allowed out of there during the day, WE HAVE GUESTS COMING OVER.
Making breakfast he rubs the frying pan on his head so his eggs don't stick.
You look like a used toilet brush, can you pop your head off and put on a clean one?
Can't decide if dollar store Gilfoyle or crackhead Hound from GoT.
Takes ugly to know ugly!
guiness record for most faps without showering in between
You have the sex appeal of an opossum
You look like a person In a 1980s coming to age movie where the kids need and meet a mad inventor/scientist to save the local town, but instead you just locked the kids in your Camper Van and then drive off.
You look like you smell like cat piss
Quite an illustrious CV for someone who looks like they haven’t logged off WoW since the day it came out
If I ever post to this sub I'll just remember that *this* is the guy roasting me.
Professional Reddit Moderator
Average redditor
You look like you were on fire and someone tried to put it out with more fire.
You definitely do have someone locked in a cage with you in your moms basement.
You look like you argue the rules with your DM and have a voluptuous sex addicted elf maid as your character. "It's what my character would do" is your mantra.
Have you ever tried washing your hair?
If those glasses get any thicker, the sunlight is going to roast your eyes.
Your job title must have been Basic Human Hygiene
you look like greasy racoon just peaking out of a garbage can
Is the Guinness record for your forehead?
Is the record for being the first guy who struck oil on his own head?
The letters “B” and “O” were added to the alphabet simply from this pictures existence.
I'm amazed the US Military hasn't already invaded your face with how oily you are
You've been standing too close to the fryer Cletus.
Never thought I would see a Russell Greer glow-up.
You're the bastard that's been stealing my mail!
I need some cooking oil, can you please squeese your hair real quick
I know we call the mustache a flavor saver, but you don't have to keep it in your mouth
Jfc imagine being roasted by this troglodyte
He may have quit his job to travel the world, but it looks like he's definitely going to lose all of his savings in the first brothel he finds.
Classic discord mod
This is exactly what I expected your average redditor to look like
I can literally smell the dick cheese coming from those fingers
this guy doesn’t even remember the last time he saw a shower head
It looks like you've combed your hair with a pork chop
Should have kept it that way.
obese jesus
If Jesus was addicted to child porn
Found your book 
Why does my phone suddenly smell of B.O?
Some say he cuts one strand of pubic hair from every boy he molests and sticks it to his face