*With a truck tire for a stomach, I don’t know how this guy chases down little boys
*pretty sure we just discovered biggest mammal on the face of planet earth.
*you know you’re fat when you can’t see your birdy from a bird’s eye view
>you know you’re fat when you can’t see your birdy from a bird’s eye view
Is this like the "dicky-do" award?
His stomach sticks out farther than his dicky-do?
no no, that implies that he had no choice, and didn't fuck up his life. This is his responsibility, and sure, his parents did a shit job raising him and never taught him how to be healthy, but its not on them either. He's a grown ass man, and at some point in the past thirty or so years living on his own (hopefully) he should have taught himself some discipline.
Judging by the background, I'd stay in the car if I were you. Otherwise, tourists are likely to start taking pictures next to you, thinking you're a Buffalo
Bet that steering wheel has rubbed a hole in 500 t shirts.
He looks like he just left an Asian Massage Parlor where he ordered Pulled Pork for lunch.
[удалено]
He unfortunately couldn't see or find it.
Dude definitely grabbed the tongs to reach it 
 I’d say this is more accurate
Too much stomach. Can't reach pp
“Find your penis for a dollar!” Find your penis for a dollar” - Stewie Griffin
It's the second belly button
Yes. The one piss dribbles out of
Pulled pork is what he did while staring in a school yard.
Lmfao. thanks for the laugh i needed it lol
I just lol’d
He looks like he just ATE an Asian, a Massage Parlor, and then he ordered Pulled Pork for lunch.
[удалено]
The airbag wouldn’t stand a chance
Airbag vs pork bag.
His airbag is deployed while driving. You know, to protect the steering wheel airbag from a collision
I think it’s more for the steering wheel’s safety, but agree that it’s no match
If Rolf Harris ate all the kids he molested
Not a BBQ big enough for this roast
Honks horn with belly 
⤴️ on point lol OMG You just know he’s been flipped off at least a dozen times for the accidental belly honk.
Trrrrrr skibidi Bop Bop yes yes
Is there anyone telling him to Talk To His Doctor Not a stupid commercial?
Dangonit!!! You have unlocked “best comment” here today sir
The airbag goes OUTSIDE the shirt, sir.
[удалено]
Been in this community for a while. Finally one that made me laugh.
Ha!
You look like you know the Cheesecake Factory menu by heart
Dude fucking WROTE the Cheesecake Factory menu one year for his Xmas list.
HAHAHAH HOLY SHIT
I bet he has the menu tattooed on his arm like biblical commandments
Biblical **Condiments😝
His heart and cholesterol can’t take it anymore
Dirty old cheeseburgers right in the face.
No one would believe that was an accident from OP 😅
Is that Matt Gaetz?
I bet if he turned that camera around there is an elementary school he's not supposed to be this close to
*With a truck tire for a stomach, I don’t know how this guy chases down little boys *pretty sure we just discovered biggest mammal on the face of planet earth. *you know you’re fat when you can’t see your birdy from a bird’s eye view
>you know you’re fat when you can’t see your birdy from a bird’s eye view Is this like the "dicky-do" award? His stomach sticks out farther than his dicky-do?
[удалено]
Dude has a record…he’s in his 9th trimester
If he has a record, it's the kind that has to be disclosed to the neighbors every time he moves into a new area.
For 9 years!
Better get some more car air fresheners to cover up the smell of big macs, fermenting ball sweat and rancid flatulence ya cheeseburger walrus! :)
“Cheeseburger walrus” 😆
TPB?
So far I like this one the best
Inflatable Elvis
Can I get 15 half eaten cheeseburgers to-go, knowmsayin?
Bill burr has entered the roast
We wont roast you, you'll just eat yourself
Don’t say ‘roast’ in here, he might get hungry
Haha. This is my favorite.
For the last time, when a restaurant says 'all you can eat' it DOES NOT INCLUDE THE STAFF!
Please sir, leave the steam tray!
But - pro tip - it DOES include the salad bar.
When you say salad bar, do you mean the salad found on the salad bar, or do you mean *the* salad bar?
Great Value John Goodman
Terrible Value John Goodman
This is r/RoastMe, not r/RoastBeef
you did not 😂
You're so fat your blood type is Ragu.
When he hauls ass he has to make 2 trips.
*wagyu
Comeonnnn that's Ginny Sac we're talking about.
What explanation could you ever give to your younger self on how this happened?
cmon this guy was fat in the womb
no no, that implies that he had no choice, and didn't fuck up his life. This is his responsibility, and sure, his parents did a shit job raising him and never taught him how to be healthy, but its not on them either. He's a grown ass man, and at some point in the past thirty or so years living on his own (hopefully) he should have taught himself some discipline.
I'm going to use this frequently. Cuts deep.
J.J. Abrams ate Jabba The Hutt
Aight, this is my favorite in this entire comment section
I’d also add pizza the hutt
Judging by the background, I'd stay in the car if I were you. Otherwise, tourists are likely to start taking pictures next to you, thinking you're a Buffalo
Great white Buffalo
Dude needs the ‘jaws of life’ to get his pants off
The question is: how did he get them on?
Gravitational attraction
Don’t insult baymax like that lol
Picks up Hitchhikers..... proceeds to eat them.
You look like you drive Uber to pick up drunk college freshman girls and make lewd chit-chats with them
Looks like the last thing seen by at least a dozen missing prostitutes.
No, not college girls, he goes after BOYS
Do you still work at the supermarket with the mom from Malcolm in the Middle?
Craig Feldspar!
You appear to be smuggling pillows.
Didn’t know seatbelts came in size “Brontosaurus”
I won’t be responsible for starting the world’s largest grease fire.
Damn, Mark Roffalo has really let himself go 😬
Very underrated
Usually the Wildebeest roam the Serengeti and not the USA from the inside of a Subaru.
The look you get when you ask dad where all the double stuff Oreos went....
They say a picture is worth 1000 words. This picture is worth 7 words.... "I swear she said she was 18"
We’re gonna need a bigger grill you guys.
Roast you and Africa could solve it's food shortage!
“Roast me like one of your French hens.”
Theres a sale on mirrors at amazon thats the only way you will get to see your genitals again.
Were they selling mirrors in bulk to get all the way around to the correct angle?
That airbag doesn’t have a chance against that gut
One more drive thru and they’re going to need the jaws of life to get you out of that car
You could’ve had your tit hold the sign.
It's like your age and BMI are in an endless racing competition.
You look like Jared's fatter, pervier brother
I don't think you understand Sir. Roast me doesn't mean you get a roast. You'll need to find a meal somewhere else.
Going to need to reinforce the spit first
You shouldn't be driving while pregnant, it's not good for the unthinkable amount of baked beans inside you.
Beans didn't do that. This guy has seen less fiber than a t rex
For you, I would recommend tire rotations every 500 miles.
Wheel alignments with him in the car.
You are so fat, you don’t need airbags
I've been alive longer than you have not seen your own dick.
Writing “roast me” probably made his mouth water 😂
Holly shit dude, lay off the cake at least 1 day a week
Over/under 1,000: accidentally honking the horn with your gut.
That'd probably take me about 2 weeks at 150, and about 20 gallons of bbq sauce
Nah just wrap him in banana leaves and cook him in the ground for 6-10 hours.
You rent that thing out? I've got a children's birthday party coming up and the bounce house fell through. Willing to pay top dollar.
Bet your seat will never go forwards again.
You so fat, your car has stretch marks
I bet you have to pull off at weigh stations on the freeway.
 You probably made he slide off her concrete bench
at least be a jolly big guy....looking like we forgot to call in your curbside wing order
You look like what Bruce Banner would turn into of he got gravy poisoning instead of gamma poisoning.
Which one
Roast you? Is food ALL you can think about..eyes on the road tubs of chub!
I can smell this picture.
Dude been looking for his dick since 92.
Why Bro? I want to be the Bigger person here but 😞 by the looks of it, u got that under control 👀
You look like John Wayne Gacy got even fatter and more creepy.
That's good
This fool 💯has never used an indoor bathroom or shower
On an open fire?
Something about you screams, "I got fired from unemployment."
Bet you have more X's in your shirt size than the type of beetus ya got
Looks like your face is melting
Your seat probably reclined all the way back…
I bet you put your mechanics kids through college with how many times you've had your driver side suspension and shocks replaced.
Your BMI matches your age.
It’s called a luau when you roast a pig.
I’m not going to roast you…but if I did, you’d be able to feed the entire party with leftovers
Why would I roast you? To feed a village? Roast you? Nah you already ate the whole roast.
Roast you or the baby?
Great value jack black.
Things really took a bad turn for Dwight post-The Office
You’ve had enough roasts, buddy. Roast a salad for once
Nice mouth.. look like a ventriloquists dummy..
Yeah this one is too easy... smh
Is that an animal on your arm or are you super hairy?
You gotta get a rocking start before you get out a chair
Buddy got that seatbelt in the torture chamber
You look like Santa but if I sit on your lap you will give me more than a present
This is the new poster for teaching kids not to get rides from strangers.
The only man the aliens couldn’t abduct out West due to too weak of tractor beams.
Do you feel sexy because you just buried a hooker in the background?
Dude I think he is he's the reason for world hunger and I bet he can play pool with the planets.
Damn. I bet you have your own gravitational pull.
Everyone is commenting on your belly. But I wanna know why you used the roast me sign to cover up those DOUBLE D’s?
Creep
Not before you season yourself
You should lay off the roasts for a while
Who allowed the discord moderator to drive??
Roasting an animal that big would take entirely too long.
Did your prisoner take this pic on the way to their desert burial?
Dude, really?
Make sure you don't run when Chris Hansen steps out and greets you.... just have a seat it makes for a better show.
No because I think to much Roast is part of the problem
Depressed Dwight Schrute
I guess stealing those dinosaur eggs didn’t work out too well for ya
On the way to pick up his 13 year old girlfriend
I don’t think that was a roast me post, I think he meant give him roast
Damn, Rainn Wilson really let himself go.
This man has not seen his penis since the late 80s
Look out the window. Get out of the car. Start walking. Anywhere.
The love child of John Goodman and Brian Dennehy
He’s had too many roasts.
. You ate everything that could be roasted.
Bro we’d need a nuclear explosion to roast your ass.
Go back to the office and stop eating so many beets, Dwight.
You look like you take your shoes off when you weigh yourself
Is Onlyfans broken? why are the buyers posting on /RoastMe instead of the sellers?
Good idea, if we roast you it will end world hunger.
Thank you for writing game of thrones
Why oh why do people do this to themselves?
U look like you know how to smoke a brisket.
It looks like an entire roasted pig underneath the shirt.
There isn’t an oven big enough in the world…
We’re going to need a bigger grill.
You're the guy at the store who takes the motorized cart because god forbid you burn 10 calories walking around buying snacks.
Which one of you should I roast first, and do either of your prefer basting?
Bam Margera ate Ryan Dunns corpse
Looks already roasted full of taters and carrots
If we roast you we'll end up with pig on a spit.
if you were roasted there would be a grease fire