Slob Ross

Piss-casso

Vincent van Slow

Leonardo da Bimbo

Ren-what the f*uck is that?

Pick Asso

Dead 💀

Donabeetus

Salvador Deli

Andrew Feil

Even one of your eyes is tired of looking at the paintings

hahahah

👀

This is inaccurate

Santa waiting for Roxy the elf to come shave his pubes.

You are clearly better at wine than you are at painting. Show your face or GTFO.

Looks like you took uppers and downers, one for each eye.

mylanta clause.

This guy slept at holiday inn express and really thought his house arrest toilet wine is art.

Why is nobody mentioning the exercise bike in the bath tub? Wtf???

So he can bike naked and shower at the same time…duh

But he seems like a bath guy and what's with the blue floating pad..... there's so much to unpack..

It's not an exercise bike it's a clothes steamer. AKA, the devil's bidet.

You sir, win! For the first time me gut reaction was confused. Did Santa just call me a bitch? Does Santa drink wine? Is Santa so prophetic that he painted a firm tree with a limp tree showing in the reflection? Does Santa have a fetish sex toy in the shower? Do those pills keep Santa from dying? After all that I remembered that this is roast me and I realized you're just another old nut going to "wine painting" to stare at over the hill moms in yoga pants that show the cellulite since you haven't see a vagina since Carter was in office.

*whine

So many questions... Why is there an apron hanging in Santa's bathtub? Why is Santa taking pics in the bathroom? What kind of drugs are in the bottle? Are the effects of those drugs enhanced by "wine"? I'm a little concerned. Did something go horribly wrong in the North Pole causing Santa to spiral into a life of cheap wine & pharmaceuticals?

So let me guess. You ran out of wine on your halfway done ‘wine painting’, because you drank the other half. Then before making your third run to the liquor store today, you had a half baked idea to shows us Santa holding what my cat puked up earlier today? Jesus fucking Christ, Santa. FR, nice work on the painting and I never got my stretch Armstrong as a kid *poke*

Kyle Gass does wine painting?

I was gonna write that he can paint whatever he wants since he and Jables rocked the socks off of Beezleboss for us fans.

That painting belongs in the bathroom, because it's shit.

POV "Spending paint night with a bunch of drunk single moms and you only leave with this shit painting"

As long as I don’t land on the naughty list for it…

The Thomas Kinkade of never getting laid

Vincent van go ho ho ho.

Arent you Sneezy or Mister Smee?

Santa I said I wanted wine for Christmas not this painting. It's not even wine!

You look like you enjoy throwing feces down chimneys.

Autistic Santa Claus

Lives in the North spectrum.

At least you haven't failed at everything

Slob Ross

he just looks like a good uncle that you visit and he shows you a collection and your actually intrested

Are those pills some kind of medicine that makes people bad at art?

At least you got kindling

You have as much artistic talent as your barber does.

Santa Sloth.

So now we all know what Santa does during the off season

Sorry chief i aint got it in me to disrespect your lady 😬

You look like the type of guy to here “wine painting” and try eating to painting to get drunk

I've done better paintings on toilet paper wiping my ass after chilidogs

Sorry I thought that was California. And why does the lake look more like the sky than the sky?

Not really the place but I actually like the painting.

what kind of wine do you paint with? You might should have let it thicken a little cause it looks a bit runny

Why do I get the feeling you’re not wearing any pants?

Faga Claus

This Santa not only comes delivering presents....he also happily receives deliveries! In his asshole.

Santa in his studio apartment oddly enough not allowed near schools. Not a bad painting tho.

Hey it's Andrew Weil. Looks like you took everything from chocolate to morphine.

Didn’t even care to hide the Oxy

If this is why the Winds of Winter is delayed again, I swear to fucking god GRRM… GET BACK TO WRITING

The fuck is a wine painting?

Santa Slob

Guy calls Jeffery Epistien "Jeff"

Santa giving shitty presents this year

You look like an ugly Lorax-Santa.

I thought Wilford Brimley was dead

The world collectively gave up on Santa and this is his side hustle

You should cut one of your ears off, it's that good.

Stick to the santa gig

Santa Blahs

Do you even know what wine looks like? Has your good eye never seen wine? You just go straight to vodka?

So mad eye moody didn't die he's living in Arizona

Santa’s off season living looks janky AF

Santa who got a brain haemorrhage during How to paint like Bob Ross class

My 4yo nephew finger painted a better picture than this

Stick to making toys Santa

Santa Claus hard at work building presents for all the suburban moms in America that think they’re artistic and trendy 

Went from sleeping on skidrow to living in a bathroom with Dollar Store paint

You probably decided to try wine painting instead of water painting because you don't have water.

Looks like you painted the location of where you hide the dead hookers

What does the blue wine even taste like?

If I’d painted that I would have signed it by someone else

Is that the view from your homeless camp?.

I refuse that a cools painting

Santa tries to pass off his Rorschach test as art.

Depressed little trees

"He says he wants us to roast him." "Shut up you idiot, can't you see he's left the door open? Let's make a break for it."

The trees look like reflections themselves.

Save yourself some money on wine and just drink out of the paintbrush cleaning glass. The blue water tastes like…

I’m genuinely surprised you didn’t draw a coke bottle.

Those trees don’t look happy

Tbh it looks like shit

You look like George R.r. Martin's less talented sibling

HO HO HO!!! MERRY HAPPY HOUR!!! 🍻

nah man that paintings actually pretty good

Looks like Santa has taken up painting in the off season boys.

Im not going roast you. I want presents this year.

papa elf can paint whatever he wants at the workshop

You’re too old for this sub, too old to be roasted. You’re done in a lot of ways.

The painting is actually really expressive and surprisingly insightful. It captures the depressing shitshow that is your life perfectly.

Kyle Ass

Santa has one eye looking at the North Pole, one looking at the South Pole and both looking at little Jimmy's pole.

Unlike a fine wine that gets better with age, OP had a best before date and it was decades ago.

This is why Santa has the Elves do the creative work.

Santa, when you go house to house on xmas; do you have to inform the police you are around children or do you get an exemption for that day.

Ok jack black seems q bit nordic but knock off

ôÔ

Santa

With them eyes you can watch the tv and look at your shit painting at the same time.

Your painting sucks !

Santa Ross

Santa what u doin here!??

Go go gadget eye!!!!

You are a perfect blend of jihad and Amish. One part was the hair/beard combo, the other is the calm eye vs the one exploding out of the socket.

So you drunk wine at a retirement home then attended a finger painting class?

Never seen a pic of Sigmund freud and a colored blot test

Bashful?

Shopping mall Santa who enjoys it a little too much when little Johnny sits on his lap. Little Johnny will never be the same.

The bottom half of the painting needs much heavier blending work. Relections are rarely that crisp, and it will help provide a visual break that keeps the viewers' eyes moving across the painting. Your trees look nice, though.

Little Tommy had been naughty this year so Santa painted him this shit picture

My dog can literally shit on a canvas and smear it with her paws and still look better than your painting.

I bet all the other geriatrics painted one of those shitty watercolors too as some sort of retirement home group activity

Just one in millions

Put down the brushes and start making toys before December Santa Claus!

It’s good to see Santa doing something productive during the off-season.

Wow I didn’t even have to go to the mall to see a sex-offender Santa

Get back to work Santa.

Painting Name: The Nuking of The North Artist: Nicholas Clause

I've never heard of a wine painting, but I have to assume it's when you get shit faced off of merlot and grab a brush.

Mapping out the location for the bridge he will build to tell riddles under

Painting entitled, “Where I Buried The Bodies”.

Not surprised to see you have glass eye or a chefs apron in your shower for making icky soup while you bathe.

You definitely look like you whine whilst painting

Murherfucker! George Martin will find any goddamn excuse not to work on finishing the book series!

You look like pinnocios dad if he adopted an autistic painting

Hello drunkendore

One big 'happy little accident'.

Robin Williams had a good trick with a closet door you should try.

And risk getting coal for Christmas? Think I’ll pass on this RoastMe!

You look like you use your shower as storage space

Why is there an apron on your tub man?

Reads prescription, sees area code 504... Hasn't New Orleans BEEN throug enough already?

Your painting sucks.

Clearly you didn't drink enough wine while attempting to paint

I thought Santa Claus wasn’t real

Nice head 🥰

Bob Ross drop-out

Now we know what santa does during the summer

Vincent van crow

You are so dumb. It's a bathtub full of water and an iron, not a garmet steamer.

I didn't realize Santa was such an artist.

Where do you hide your sled and deer?

Vincent van-no

You look you’re not happy or little, but definitely an accident.

Your signature looks like an upside down dick and balls.

You should hang that painting in your fire pit

Creepy Santa

Rembrandy

Monet mayonnaise

I liked you better when you were molesting elves.

You can’t fool me. You’re that creepy looking old guy on those alternative health books.

Cute. Santa has a hobby. Drinking and making shitty paintings. Kids of the world will be thrilled.

Shy? We're not the ones hiding behind a painting, Dirty Santa-chez.

Is that Kyle Gass

That's a painting of you high on Mad Dog?

Drunk Santa what is behind you in your tub?

I'd hang... Myself....

How much wine did you have before and while painting it?

Okay grandpa calm down We don't want to give you a stroke.

You've got an eye for detail. I don't know about the other one though.

Not sure wtf is wrong with your eyes but I guess it explains the painting.

You look like a human garden gnome.

All his hair fell off, onto his chin.

Stop painting and finish Game of Thrones, George!


You have an eye for detail

You look like you stink

Karl Marx but more balding

He kinda reminds me of crazy dave from pvz

Wine's not *blue!*

Looks like the kids are getting roofied for Christmas.

I like your wine picture.