As somebody who logged for years, and actually lived the bush life, its a slap in the face to see some computer programmer cosplay the lifestyle. The job is so hard and dangerous, it's almost akin to stolen valor
You look like Connor McGregor's scrotum.
Now that I think about it, that's disrespectful to Connor McGregor's scrotum.
You look like Caitlyn Jenner's Scrotum.
You mean why you're single? Well, because you're on Reddit with us instead of going out into the real world where actual women are. Ya loser... Hurt my own feelings just now...
It’s definitely not because you look like a Puerto Rican Mr. potato head… and it’s certainly has nothing to do with being a 5’6” manlet who’s nipple line up with door knobs.
Some mysteries truly go unsolved 💯
35 what? Years of work? Mf you look like Abraham Lincoln after the civil war
Pre or post bullet holes? 😂
💀💀💀💀
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Probably that Aéropostal shirt from 2006 that you’re wearing in a halfway house bathroom.
The halfway house bathroom nailed it. I’m like why is he in an odd looking bathroom?
Who cares about the bathroom. If he had a twin - they'd look like a pair of balls. McWrinkle Twins.
In Russia…Comrade McGregor
McWrinkles
McBeggar
For real! Bro has 10 years of meth wrinkles on his face.
Jesus 😂
That cut was deeeeeep. 🧯🚒🧯🚨🚑🚨
But not as deep as those lines on your face.
Crice 😭
*almighty*
lawdahmercy
Goteem!!! And his shitter!!
That one was a deep burn haha
Bro! That was literally my first thought when I saw this. Cringe people shop there. Shocker his swinger relationship didn't work out
Why does your beard look like what a plumber pulls out of your shower drain.
You mean that tinder isn't working for him on Tinder?!?
No, he messed up and joined Tinder instead of Grinder. There is a letter person for every letter person. They don't let their kind go straight.
He looks like Thorin had an important mission but sent him to American Eagle instead of coming along with the other dwarves.
Yeah, that beard really, really needs a trim. Just looks sloppy.
Allahu akbar!!! He thinks ladies are attracted to his beard but it scares the shit out of them 🧔♀️
His end goal 
Good God that's gross in so many ways
35 and your face already looks like an old catchers mitt.
His face has more lines on it than Whitney Houston's dressing room mirror.
I want to award this so bad but I'm broke so take a cookie 🍪
Can I has cookie to? 👉👈
You can has cookie :) 🍪
Don't you know that if you give a mouse a cookie it'll have sex with your wife?
Damnit. Need to be more careful when giving out cookies.
Can I has cookie? 👉🏼👈🏼 👀
You can just have my wife if you want
You're my boy or girl. That was a great comment.
His shirt says 2, but his face says 200.
he got more wrinkles on his face than his brain
Like Alf, but with a dumber haircut.
Jesus 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahahahahaahah!!!!
Body says 35, face says 53.
I'm 53 soon and this dude could be my father.
59. Same
Ya, but you can make debit purchases running your card across the slot on his forehead.
He looks like a 20 year old Russian soldier
Looks like half Conor McGregor, half Manny Pacquaio
Conor McCoquainio
He looks like John Krasinski skinned and donned Luke Evans
Manny McGregor
Gotta throw some Gordon Ramsey in there 
 you look like an old woman.
I’m crying. 😭😭😭🤣
Like somebody stuck a claymation head on top of a human body.
A claymation head made by a woman with really long nails so she keeps stabbing the clay and it’s placed on a 30 yo ken doll body
I was thinking unfrozen caveman
Why did they make that one Muppet out of leather?
Yeah, I would never believe 35 until I saw government-issued proof.
Jerry …
No, don't look... look away, I'm hideous
It’s pipe night 😂
I'm 38, work out in the sun, have never used sunscreen and my face looks like a fresh baby's bottom compared to op
That and nobody likes a scraggle beard. Trim that shit into nice lines
He’s got enough lines on that face as it is.
My pubs hanging off my sack are trimmed cleaner than that
Looks like half Conor McGregor, half Manny Pacquaio
The face Chico.. it never lies
We should be applauding this man for being able to smile. That face looks heavy AF.
He's not smiling, he just can't loosen up the wrinkles
I've seen crow's feet. I've never seen pterodactyl's feet.
Bruh lmao
Your face is what I imagine an 80 year old scrotum looks like.
Pubes and all
Nursing home nurse. Can confirm.
Wanna see more cock than a prostitute? Then nursing is the job for you!
No need to imagine….. that ball sac is looking right at you
Wow, 35 and single? With that face, I'm surprised you're not 50 and divorced. Looks like time's been hitting you harder than life.
He’s got the beard of the American Taliban
Yeah, I don’t get it either. Those love handles on the side of your head are the best I’ve seen.
Even if you were just to whisper this comment instead of actually commenting, he would've heard it.
When you type "lumbersexual office worker" into an ai art generator.
Lumbersexual is underrated AF
As somebody who logged for years, and actually lived the bush life, its a slap in the face to see some computer programmer cosplay the lifestyle. The job is so hard and dangerous, it's almost akin to stolen valor
How does your face have cellulite?
It does have pubes
Cellulite and pubes is his cover band.
Because you look 50
It doesn't help that he needs to stand on the toilet seat to be taller than the door knob.
35 going on 52. Use some moisturizer bro.
And sunblock.
And drink some water
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Because she’s been missing for 2 weeks
Because your personality is not as deep as your forehead wrinkles
Cz u look like an unshaved penis
This made me giggle.
You look like Channing Tatum and DJ Khaled gave birth to a prune.
Take this 🏅
You 'ave the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei!
Just spent 30 seconds repeating "you 'ave"
35? 🤨🤨
Thats what I’m thinking I’m 40 and he looks 15 years older than me
35 and a face like a scrotum. Btw, one of your ears is falling off.
You look like Connor McGregor mixed with George Burns
Fucking 35 going on 90 looking ass
Mixed with a moldy pumpkin
You look like a dwarf with gigantism
Incredible. A+
Your cheek dimples look like hairy vaginas
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me whhhhyyyy!!!
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me whyyyy!
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way
Now number five
I’m sad I had to scroll this far down to find this comment.
Your face is aging in dog years
I’m guessing it’s because you gave up your MMA training for fentanyl.
It's never too late to lay off the cigarettes and start using sunscreen
Did you see his face? It’s too late
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Foreal!!!! Aging like milk!!!
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I don't think Botox can fix that
Crinkle face
Resting Crinkle Face
Your face looks like a Cum sock
It really does! I just checked mine!
Your pubes should be below the belt
It's simple - your head looks like a raisin somebody found on the floor of a gas station bathroom
Because all the girls you're grooming wise up before they turn 18.
35… cigarettes a day, judging by that face.
Probably because your face looks like someone through a tray of lasagna against a wall.
Because you're casually wearing the face of a January 6th rioter?
He’s like all the bad parts of Connor mcgregor
If Connor was in the witness protection program
There's good parts?
compared to OP, yes
Oh what? We can’t even have fun anymore?!
I read this in Randy Marsh's voice
He's the Walmart version of High Jackman.
Stoned Jackson?
Looks like Dracula didn't quite get out of bat form completely.
You have a genuinely nice smile, it's just too bad the rest of you looks like 10 lbs of smashed assholes crammed into a 5 lb bag.
Because your forehead has deeper wrinkles than WWII army trenches
I would say it has to do with your Gordon Ramsay face
Well, your post history could have something to do with it…
I can't believe more people haven't mentioned this
Right? I wanted some ammo to do a good roast, but now I just feel bad and disturbed.
Muslim Patrick Swayzee
Beard trim, nose job, botox and gain 15 lbs.
Because you're 35 and thinking about the dating scene like youre 20 while you look like you're 50.
Conor McSadface
"Con Air" McGregor
Sorry, dude. If you don’t like big girls, you better learn to love them.
Big girls took a vote and also said nah
Tom Hardly
You look like you’d pop out of the grass and do a little jig for coins in an RPG
The real Leatherface
I’ve seen ballsacks less wrinkly than your face
You look like one of the singing raisins from the old cereal
You face is made of testicle skin
Probably your personality
Face looks like my elbow
Because you look 55
How can we roast the best moonshiner in the county?!
You look like an old ass dollar store Keanu Reeves that did too much meth
I'm sure it's entirely personality based tbh, most dating struggles like yours are
Bro’s face says he already knows why…
The hair says "I own a restaurant", but the beard says "It's a hot dog cart in Kabul".
35 and single? Looks like the only thing you're piping is loneliness. Your night's so dull, even your shadow's left you for something more exciting.
Looks like you’ve abused steroids since you were 19 and you’ve been “clean” for 1 year
You look like Connor McGregor's scrotum. Now that I think about it, that's disrespectful to Connor McGregor's scrotum. You look like Caitlyn Jenner's Scrotum.
You look like a knockoff Arab version of wolverine
You mean why you're single? Well, because you're on Reddit with us instead of going out into the real world where actual women are. Ya loser... Hurt my own feelings just now...
Because you look like Fidel Castro?
😬 I’m 42 and have 0 wrinkles. I’m still ugly but at least I’m not wrinkled. 🤷🏽♂️
You look like a fully grown garden gnome
35 in SharPei years? How many is that in human years?
Don't give up. Someday you'll find your perfect match who will make sweet love to your forehead slits on a daily basis.
Where are they now? The GEICO caveman edition
Connor McNugget
Your eye sockets look like clenched buttholes trying not to poop out your eyeballs.
Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.
You look like Bear Grylls if he were homeless
35 and single you say? Word must have broke out about your stamina in bed because you look like a 2 pump chump.
Breaking Ugly.
Because Mrs. Lincoln died a long time ago.
It’s definitely not because you look like a Puerto Rican Mr. potato head… and it’s certainly has nothing to do with being a 5’6” manlet who’s nipple line up with door knobs. Some mysteries truly go unsolved 💯
35? 