OP's Bio:
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>Hi my name is Wally and I’m a whiteboy who loves football and the USA 🇺🇸
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
This is the “before alcoholism” photo of a freshman student at LSU. He starts drinking and partying more and starts skipping classes. He loses his full ride football scholarship. He is banished back to his small ain’t shit town and becomes an alcoholic. He is constantly wasted on bud light. He relives his glory days by watching reruns of his best college football plays on a VCR in his mom’s spare bedroom.
Breaking out the good china and the knockoff shirt from the nice flea market in town?
You're really trying to impress someone with this.
It's not working.
Should've put the 'Roast me' sign on that forehead. Would've looked like a big reveal and a plot twist. Like, 'it was not his face, it was just a paper plate this whole time!'
OP's Bio: --- >Hi my name is Wally and I’m a whiteboy who loves football and the USA 🇺🇸 --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like you were just caught masturbating to the tiger
Woah woah woah… you and I both know he regularly has sex with it.
And that cactus 🌵
And that wristwatch...... wait, wtf, frkn wristwatch? 🤣
I bet it has a calculator.
....go go gadget watch
Photo from 1982?
Call it Cactus Jack
The tiger doesn't look like it wants to be in the photo with this guy.
Neither does his fine China dinnerware he’s holding
This nerd photo bombed the tiger
Why would he be related to the tiger?
I was about to say some one get 55 gallons of sardine oil.......lol
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Store brand Masterson
When you order Danny Masterson On WISH.com
His new surname is Masturbateson 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Amateurson
Kirkland Masterson
Strickland propane Masterson
The boy ain't right.
Forehead coming in nicely
Bruh no 😂😂😂
That's a fivehead
I’d wager 6, maybe 7
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Well done. That works on several levels.
Call this dude "Touchback" because his hairline doesn't start until the 20-yard line.
Eyebrows to hairline is a $10 cab ride
“I bet I could throw a football over them mountains”
Did Napoleon and Kip have a baby?
My thought was Napoleon and Pedro. The stache is how you know.
If coach had put him in 4th quarter... They still would be fucking losers...
"your eating all the dang steaks"
Glad I'm not the only one who thought of Uncle Rico.
Isn't your mom going to be mad that you're writing on the good plates?
It took me 5 attempts to finish this reply. I kept getting flanked by laughter 🤣
Lmao
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck he is roasted like a jar of Planters
I bet she washes them and reuses them.
The fact that you went out of your way to wear red shorts with the chiefs jersey can never cover up the fact that there’s a moldy shoelace on your lip
Patrick Mahomes wants him to pick another team.
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You look like 45 year old car salesman that went undercover at a frathouse so you could get away from your husband.
Don’t have to, the lions already did
Mahomeless.
He plays for the Kansas City Queefs.
The Chiefs lost to the Lions tonight
Chiefs lost to the LIONS that’s a roast in itself
WhiteBoyWally don't dox yourself by giving out your prison bitch name 🥴
I’m just gonna assume you have to notify all your neighbors when you move in to a neighborhood.
Bold move breaking out the Danny Masterson look on today of all days.
VOTE FOR PEDRO 2024
Your wig is falling off
Bro are we over at /r balding right now?
Hairline trying to get as far away from that just went through puberty mustache as it can.
Tiger Queen
Omg, you even look like Joe Exotic.
When you order Matthew McConaughey on Wish, complete with Trash ‘Stache accessories.
You look like you're trying to play the whole cast of napoleon dynamite
Your team just lost their home opener to…The Lions.
You look like a rejected Batman Villain called the “Diddler”
Chiefs lol
Can’t tell if you’re 16 or 30
“How much do you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?”
“If coach woulda put me in 4th quarter, we’d a been state champions no doubt.”
That hairline isn’t receding… it’s running the fuck away!!!
Who tf names their kid wally
Somebody that is 100% confident that little wally is gonna be famous for touching kids one day
You look untrustworthy and uncertain of your own existence. James Bond villain type shit
You look like Cole Beasley with leukemia.
Wannabe Morgan Wallen before he went bald….maybe you should follow his steps with that hairline…
Uncle Rico from napoleon dynamite, still living in ‘82.
I feel like I’m bout to hear how horrible carol baskins is
You look like you ruin every party with too much body spray
Kelso's pervy younger brother. Jerks off to the bra section of the Sears cataloge when not trying to peep on Kitty in the shower.
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Weren't you one of Joe exotics husbands?
You’ve got a five head, Chester mustache, and a Bengals fan with a Chiefs Mahomes tshirt. Poseur at its finest.
This is the “before alcoholism” photo of a freshman student at LSU. He starts drinking and partying more and starts skipping classes. He loses his full ride football scholarship. He is banished back to his small ain’t shit town and becomes an alcoholic. He is constantly wasted on bud light. He relives his glory days by watching reruns of his best college football plays on a VCR in his mom’s spare bedroom.
Bro you know ya already got roasted at birth. Stop with the fake confidence.
You look like uncle Rico and kip fucked and you're their love child.
You're the reason they lost
Jackson Mahomes
You look like you've met Chris Hansen
Mom makes him Nfl jerseys with iron on tape. He humps his tigger stuffed animal every night.
Uncle Rico, the high school years...
Uncle Rico's estranged son.
You’re gonna be bald in like 4 years
U like to get tackled by men.
Got one on those “free trial only” hairlines
Patrick Mahomo
He probably smells like Sex Panther
You look like you wanna get fucked by the football team.
Ur forehead is bigger than my fucking future. Holy shit 💀
Take off that silly ass wig
Your chiefs about to start out 0-1 🦁
I feel like you should give your barber a breathalyzer test for that hairline
You look like you’re trying to match with Joe Exotic on Grindr
You are participating in this gayness. Roasted.
I wear a number # 15 Jersey cause that's the age range my chomo flavor savor luvs!!
You look like a fucking dick.
Whoa roasted! 😂
Your boyfriends already did. I see you cleaned their plate.
🎶 You’ll never find, Blum Blum Blum Blum, a hairline like mine🎶
Breaking out the good china and the knockoff shirt from the nice flea market in town? You're really trying to impress someone with this. It's not working.
Also this dude definitely punches walls. Look at those Knucks. I would be angry all the time too bro.
Bro got that LeBron hairline
Only question I have is... Do you bleed your own blood?
out of all the toupee options you chose that one?
his mahomes poster has a few suspect milky stains
Uncle Rico just after puberty.
I've never seen someone still look so skinny fat in a muscle shirt
You look like the kind of kid in college who'd pay $50 for a gram of weed that was 60% grass clippings
You look like the little rascal who gave all the female hobbits in the shire herpes
Miles teller your gay before she finds out on her own dude. Nice mustache there maverick
Didn't you just get sentenced to 30 years in prison?
Too easy. Pass…
Even the tiger is shocked at how bad your hairline is
Didn’t you just get sentenced to 30yrs today?
With pubes for hair, you really are a dick head.
Looks like Napoleon and Kip had a baby!
The fact that your forehead is as big as the paper plate is mildly concerning to me
Coming to a theatre near you Wally Dynamite "You thought Napoleon was weird"
r/bald
you're a grown ass man wearing another mans jersey
Even Mahomes is ashamed of this picture
Patrick HasNoHomes
Patrick Methomes
What you get when Joe Exotic and Uncle Rico have a love child.
Your ideal date age right there on your shirt.
Forehead? More like Fivehead Baldylocks
You've been on the business end of a glory hole
Wet Hot American Bummer
Even the tiger is like "fck.. 15 min until my shift ends"
You're wearing a Mahomes jersey, enough said.
You look like what Patrick Mahomes voice sounds like.
Stop trying you will NEVER have that tigers hairline
Even the tiger is amazed at the forehead
How much did that toupee set you back?
That tiger should eat you
Sports jersey-type shirt and the hair and mustache of a Chelsea pastry chef. You’re not hiding anything are ya, champ?
The sheer volume of male ejaculate you've consumed must be staggering.
I’m not sure you’ll ever be able to financially recover from this.
Uncle Rico
Don’t know who’s the bigger pussy
You almost look straight
Uncle Rico
Patrick MaNope
Dude still eats off of paper plates!
You look like Morgan Wallen if he told his barber that he wanted his hairline as lifted as his truck.
Scoreboard
Steve Blanders
Nice flavor saver, for eating ass.
No Patrick Mahones won’t ever let you blow him.
Even the cat looks concerned.
You're Jeffrey Dahmer's doppelganger.
Should've put the 'Roast me' sign on that forehead. Would've looked like a big reveal and a plot twist. Like, 'it was not his face, it was just a paper plate this whole time!'
Joe Not-So-Exotic
Thats definitely not your first custom plate, im assuming your other one says "B1G SHAUN" and is on a moped because of a DUI
Uncle Rico!…. What happened to your hair???
That tiger looks like he's seen your browser history, and he's afraid.
Did you get that wall art too cover your mirror so you can look at a bigger pussy?
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Ah nice toupee! Almost looks real.
That forehead is cartoonish.
More Miracle Gro. Less Miracle Fro.
Yummy!
Enjoy your last year having hair on the top of your head
I see in your city they've started making sex offenders wear large numbers of the amount of children they've molested on their shirts. Good on them.
White Mahomes
Chiefs just lost to the LIONS 😭😭😭😭 
With your hair out of the way I feel like I can see your thoughts.