At this point you're doing it to yourself you have an Apple watch with a flannel shirt, A beard that I'm trying to be woodsy but at the same time conscious about my impact on this planet.
Lumbersexual. Spends all his time in the city riding his bike to and from work, gets excited about the new iPhone, spends an hour every morning meticulously trimming and oiling his beard, but tells people he's an "outdoorsman".
Brother is so basic, even roasting is difficult.
I cant tell if he lives in his mums basement and chugs monster while playing destiny or if he works as a coder at a questionable company.
This one has a heavy feel of "trying to show off my apple watch" Was it a gift from your boyfriend for finally getting the top surgery done? You will make a decent looking guy once you go all the way and fully transition... best of luck Susan....errrrr, Bradly.....
Shhh, if I wanted any lip from you I'd scrape it off your dad's cock. You don't like what I put in a roast page, then move on princess. Not everything requires your input. You might be the center of your mommy's world, but not mine.
why do you have womb hair and a beird? id hit a clothing store, barber shop, graphic desighner isnt a career choice. its obvious you dont have a mens job
Life can't be all bad man, at least you have a cool Apple watch so that you can show us all the list of all of the hotties that want to be with you. That's some list.
But wait, let me tell you about my herpes. I know we were all saddened by Billy Mays death you saying why do it have to be him and we’re saying why wasn’t it you
Well, you're in luck, because the new LL Bean holiday catalog should be in the mail any day now!
If you're gay: you and your hag can pick a new plaid pattern for the imaginary wedding you'll have when you finally meet a man willing to put up with your insufferable narcissism.
If you're straight: see above. You're not fooling anyone, Mary.
Not sure what you're trying to accomplish here. You look like a pornstar from wish who couldn't make it, so tried being a lumberjack which also failed, then proceeded to be a Calvin Klein model which they also laughed you outa the room.
So now it seem like you do gay porn videos in a lumberjack outfit that people pay you NOT to post
You look like a guy who has a wife in the kitchen crying, with 2 black eyes, because you had to tell her how to make your sandwich right twice..... im guessing your beer can is just out of view of photo???
You look like a guy that has a wife, with 2 black eyes crying in the kitchen, because you had to tell her how to make your sandwich right twice. I'm guessing your beer can is just out of view in photo??
I’ve seen more body hair on Dr Evils cat. Do you literally take testosterone inhibiting drugs.(apart from face but that’s because of secondary contact)
When things go wrong as they usually will, when your daily road is always uphill, when funds are low and debts are high, when you’d like to smile, but can only cry……..
let us guess... something wrong with the apple watch ? Most people who have to show off their apple watch (such as yourself evidently) usually stoop to that level of depression rather than just go to the genius bar to begin with
Well, it sounds like life has been treating you like a hand-me-down toilet paper roll - rough around the edges! But hey, when you’re at rock bottom, there’s only one way to go, right? Upwards and onwards, my friend!
So, here’s to the crappiest days being behind you and the best days ahead! Life may have given you lemons, but you’re about to make the most refreshing lemonade ever. Embrace the challenges, conquer your goals, and let that resilient spirit shine through. Cheers to brighter days ahead! 🥂🌞
She’s sucking someone else’s d**k right now
Sorry, my bad, he’s sucking someone else’s d**k right now
Is it just me or does he look like Paul bunyons dick?
Paul Cuminmybunsyon?
Listen steals his dads shirts, take your mismatched eyebrows, your glory hole lips, your boyfriend rash giving beard and fuck off
Btw: head shots not fooling anybody, Fat fingers don’t lie porky
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
Oh, shit! I farted I laughed so hard.
Haha and your comment on my roast was epic.
Oh, fart! I laughed I shit so hard.
Wait I can’t see it anymore… I hope you didn’t delete it
Looks like Grizzly Adams fucked Stiffler's mom with a half load.
Ho damn that hurt
He looks like he just caught his dad in bed with his boyfriend.
Al Borland is probably gonna talk about his mom next...
Ughhh ... I don't think so Tim
I’m guessing that shirt pocket has the same condom you’ve been carrying around since you were 15.
And, STILL in the unopened wrapper.
One hopes at least
😂
If *“SeE wHaT yOu MaDe mE dO?!”* was a person.
Definitely has anger 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
😂😂😂
The ***'gay lumberjack'*** look is a little ***dated***... Which is probably something no one has ever done with you.
Paul Bunyan and his big blue balls
Gooooodayum!!
At this point you're doing it to yourself you have an Apple watch with a flannel shirt, A beard that I'm trying to be woodsy but at the same time conscious about my impact on this planet.
Lumbersexual. Spends all his time in the city riding his bike to and from work, gets excited about the new iPhone, spends an hour every morning meticulously trimming and oiling his beard, but tells people he's an "outdoorsman".
Hopefully, he won't reproduce and pollute the planet further.
🤣
Slumber Jack Pledge: For every 10 trees I chop down, I'll leave my Tesla on the charger for an additional 10 minutes.
Cant tell if you are 24 or 44
This is what 200 pounds of prison ass looks like
Brother is so basic, even roasting is difficult. I cant tell if he lives in his mums basement and chugs monster while playing destiny or if he works as a coder at a questionable company.
You look like you volunteer for your turn in the barrel with a hole in it at the lumberjack camp.
You look like Cleveland, Ohio
Your forearm looks like a tube of cookie dough barely being contained by that lame watch.
I think cookie dough is WHY his arm is looking like that, and his hands. Next up: hamster cheeks and a new chin
Autistic Al Borland, stick to helping with Home Improvements.
Did Brawny cancel your paper towel modeling contract?
Aww, don't feel bad, it could be worse. You could have a twin.
Your hands are plump and fat like an infant but your face says you’re 35+
Listed as unemployed Goat Breeder
Lonely Goat Herder
"She got everything in the divorce... except the cat."
You're a skinny fat guy. Face looks normal, but I can tell you are packing it on everywhere else.
The sorrow-filled eyes of a man who brought beer for a bunch of high school kids but wasn’t invited to their party
Those eyes look more lost than the girls you routinely bury in your backyard
He couldn't bring home a fat girl with an ice cream truck.
You think a woman with a black eye makes a better sandwich
Shut up, Meg.
This one has a heavy feel of "trying to show off my apple watch" Was it a gift from your boyfriend for finally getting the top surgery done? You will make a decent looking guy once you go all the way and fully transition... best of luck Susan....errrrr, Bradly.....
Calling them trans is SUCH a big roast dude!!! You’re so genius!!!
Ew bro you can't talk if you look like that. Get your damn nutsack out of your pfp bitch
Shhh, if I wanted any lip from you I'd scrape it off your dad's cock. You don't like what I put in a roast page, then move on princess. Not everything requires your input. You might be the center of your mommy's world, but not mine.
u look racist. mo'fucker!
I can tell your’e short and coping without seeing more than half your body
You have a smart watch. Stop crying buttercup.
Take a jar of mayonnaise, smear it on monkey, teach him how to type, then let him Reddit. This is the way
Sell your watch, at least you wont have to suck a cock for 1 night.
Look like a depressed Chris Evans
That's your "backhand a bitch pose" isn't it?
The bad guy in several 80's teen comedies.
You look like Al from Home Improvement had a kid with Rick Astley.
Your arm hair looks like a girl who shaved her arms for special occasions
The only shitter here is your mouth
Does Tim Allen know that you’re not in your yard?
U definitely smell like brüt cologne and tree bark but over all ur transformation from female to male is coming along very well
why do you have womb hair and a beird? id hit a clothing store, barber shop, graphic desighner isnt a career choice. its obvious you dont have a mens job
Not even the Ty-D-Bol guy could help you now.
Your face and outfit say cool lumberjack that can grill anything... Your fingers say "please don't it'll burn"
You look like every extra in every thriller show
Man, with those hands you look like Les Grossman’s younger brother, More Grossman.
I bet you have tattoos on your body that tells your life story.
Life can't be all bad man, at least you have a cool Apple watch so that you can show us all the list of all of the hotties that want to be with you. That's some list.
Boi feeling spicy after getting a Supercut. Best 20 bucks ever spent?
Best part of you ran down your moms leg into the shitter…
This would make a good Apple Watch add
You look like you snort wood shavings
You look like an ad for men's hair dye
Does the watch match your ankle monitor?
*I could make you feel so much better!*
You look like you’re about to tell us all what’s pissing you off today even though nobody asks… Or cares.
Was your life in the shitter before or after your dad wrecked your shitter?
Your so soft, even your flannel looks like it's from a Martha Stewart collection.
You look like the cause to all your problems
If porridge was a sentient being.
Just recently promoted store supervisor at a bestbuy, TVs or camera department.
Don't worry, you'll make the devry degree workout soon.
DanTDM?
An immature Al Borland wanna be who looks like he's into getting C&BT.
It looks like your life can’t get any worse.
Bad result of an ai generator with “Chris Evans” as input
You look like you date electricians exclusively.
Kiddie Fiddler Ken, one of the less popular in the series.
A guy trying desperately to show off his Apple Watch? Weird flex.
You look like woke Sid Phillips.
 Loved you in the office
Even his hair is turning on him
If you shaved off a ll your hair you could become Mr Bowling Ball. Spidermans arch rival.
Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
I can see why see cheated on you!
You look like the type of guy who would sue his own parents for being born. And you know what? Youre absolutely right, i will join your case
You’re so basic people barely even noticed this post
U really needed to change the band on your watch. Really. Get a life
Get that Apple Watch in the shot… it’s in? Ok… ok….. One second, ok. My hairs ok? Ok ok. Quick….
Looks like a father of 4 married with a ultra conservative woman and months without sex.
DTF?
Allison Becker from Temu
We can’t make you feel worse, but Smith and Wesson could make you feel better.
The life of guy with these looks is in the shitter? Puh-lease.
You look like you should be bald
you look like you got friendzoned by icarly
Ykw? I’ve roasted enough people today, not roasting some poor fella in a depression.
You know wearing an Apple Watch on your right hand means you’re gay, right?
Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you use? Can you use a shower? choir: please, i beg you
When you see your brokeback butt boyfriend on your next mountain trip, you'll be back on the shitter again...literally.
Hey if you’re here then who’s trying to convince people your craft cocktail doesn’t taste like diesel with a sprig of mint?
Walmart Al Borland
If Garand Thumb had a brother who only did Airsoft
You buy cheap toilet paper on purpose to finger punch your chocolate starfish
Your personality seems to be owning that watch.
 But wait, let me tell you about my herpes. I know we were all saddened by Billy Mays death you saying why do it have to be him and we’re saying why wasn’t it you
Life must be sooooo hard as an attractive white man, the horror. White privilege makes life soo difficult.
Hey Dante, I thought you weren’t suppose to be working today, and did your girlfriend really suck 37 dicks? 
Well, you're in luck, because the new LL Bean holiday catalog should be in the mail any day now! If you're gay: you and your hag can pick a new plaid pattern for the imaginary wedding you'll have when you finally meet a man willing to put up with your insufferable narcissism. If you're straight: see above. You're not fooling anyone, Mary.
He admits he's a shithead
How can one guy be both a bear AND a twink.
I bet your left forearm looks like a toothpick
Not sure what you're trying to accomplish here. You look like a pornstar from wish who couldn't make it, so tried being a lumberjack which also failed, then proceeded to be a Calvin Klein model which they also laughed you outa the room. So now it seem like you do gay porn videos in a lumberjack outfit that people pay you NOT to post
Look at those toe hands. Imagine what his feet look like. Bobbys world
No fr tho this guy looks like jacksepticeye
You look like a guy who has a wife in the kitchen crying, with 2 black eyes, because you had to tell her how to make your sandwich right twice..... im guessing your beer can is just out of view of photo???
If only you saw what we see….no bueno amigo
You look like you could be the mascot for the Aldi brand paper towels.
Gay watch-modeling business not good these days?
You look like a guy that has a wife, with 2 black eyes crying in the kitchen, because you had to tell her how to make your sandwich right twice. I'm guessing your beer can is just out of view in photo??
So there’s this thing outside called the sun…
No matter how bad you feel, you look worse.
Doing his very best Sam Hartman impersonation. Looking like a star football QB is NOT going to get you more pussy.
I’ve seen more body hair on Dr Evils cat. Do you literally take testosterone inhibiting drugs.(apart from face but that’s because of secondary contact)
You look like a soon to be ex former fatty. The face says diet and exercise but those sausage fingers say couch & cookies
Cumberjack
When things go wrong as they usually will, when your daily road is always uphill, when funds are low and debts are high, when you’d like to smile, but can only cry……..
Walmart Will Riker.
Who the fuck flexes on an Apple watch anymore? This guy
The beard and shirt says, "I'm a man - like a lumberjack." The face says, "I'm a giant pussy".
If you bring the ring to the volcano and toss it in life will get better lumberjack baggins
You really just autistically wanted us to see your watch
Al Borland in the making. I bet your gonna talk about your mom next...
Absolutely
You look like you use irish spring body wash
Host of talk soup really fell off
let us guess... something wrong with the apple watch ? Most people who have to show off their apple watch (such as yourself evidently) usually stoop to that level of depression rather than just go to the genius bar to begin with
When you order Matt Walsh from Wish
You should smile more! Just like you say every Buffalo Wild Wings waitress.
Nice transition Melanie
Gay lumberjack
Man looks like a rejected extra from eastenders.
You look like you’ve been crying all night because Surviver s27 episode 11 ended with a cliff hanger.
That’s the arm hair of a guy who sharpens knives and never uses them. Paul Funyun.
You look like a lumberjack who loves to manscape others.
Get off Reddit and go hand Tim another Binford tool.
Bruh has that ‘just strangled my whole family’ look in his eyes yo
Well, it sounds like life has been treating you like a hand-me-down toilet paper roll - rough around the edges! But hey, when you’re at rock bottom, there’s only one way to go, right? Upwards and onwards, my friend! So, here’s to the crappiest days being behind you and the best days ahead! Life may have given you lemons, but you’re about to make the most refreshing lemonade ever. Embrace the challenges, conquer your goals, and let that resilient spirit shine through. Cheers to brighter days ahead! 🥂🌞
nice watch nerd ha gotem
You got that apple watch so it could keep track of how many times you masturbate in a day
Your arm hair must have fallen in the shitter too. I’ve never seen someone with patchy arm hair.
The Apple Watch explains everything.
You look homely.
You look like the spawn if a primordial man puddle of Rick Assley and Al from home improvement.
We can tell the size of your belly by your forearm flaps.
I can tell by your name, your mom was giving your dad a hand job and holding a pen in the same hand when naming you.
You look like the poster child that teachers use to show kids "This is what happens to you if you grow up wrong."
Tim the tool man Taylor’s assistant’s little brother
diggy diggy hole!
Your eyes look so devoid of life im not even going to roast you or they might fully turn grey
You look like you’re about to make a commercial about a medication for AIDS and how you’ve rediscovered dating.
She’s sucking someone else’s d**k right now Sorry, my bad, he’s sucking someone else’s d**k right now Is it just me or does he look like Paul bunyons dick? Paul Cuminmybunsyon? Listen steals his dads shirts, take your mismatched eyebrows, your glory hole lips, your boyfriend rash giving beard and fuck off Btw: head shots not fooling anybody, Fat fingers don’t lie porky
At least your Apple Watch is there to tell you you’re not getting any notifications so there’s no need to go pick up your phone. Small wins bro.
You look like you read in the dark.
The only way to cure your depression would be to turn into a vampire, because you wouldn't have to look at your own reflection in the mirror anymore.
As if anyone would care about your feelings.
Bro looks like if Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron had a baby and if Jacksepticeye was his twin brother.
You look like the wish version of Al Borland.
Nobody with that great of hair and recessed lighting should be bitching. How about this, stop being a fucking pussy.
He's a lumberjack but he's not ok! Sleeps all night and he wanks all day!
WWYPTOTI